The Best Joel Michaely Quotes

X: You know what? My retainer looks like a Klingon warship.

X: [after reenacting a lightsaber duel from The Empire Strikes Back] Hey! Luke doesn't push Vader!
X: Well he should've. I mean, the guy cut his hand off.

William: [Discussing "The Plan" with the X-Philes] Okay, you're Boba Fett, and you're Grand Moff Tarkin.
X: How come he gets to be Boba Fett?
William: Ok, fine, *you're* Boba Fett, and *you're* Grand Moff Tarkin.
X: I don't want to be Grand Moff Tarkin!
William: All right, fine, you know what? You're both KISS dolls!

X: [Leaving William's basement] Do you think there will be any girls there?
X: [Looks at him with an annoyed look as he carries the ladder] Are you kidding me? People may be even having sex tonight!