Top 20 Quotes From Quizmaster Albert

Sabrina: Who's that?
Quizmaster: That's the head quizmaster. I think her official title is the person who can fire your butt.
Sabrina: But she's so young.
Quizmaster: Yeah, she looks pretty good for 600.

Sabrina: You know, every once in a while you could try bringing good news.
Quizmaster: A new Pollo Loco just opened up by my apartment.
Sabrina: I meant good news for me.

Zelda: Is that all there is?
Sabrina: [Some pieces of Libby are missing] Box is empty, how can we be missing pieces?
Quizmaster: Didn't you read the fine print?
[Hands the box over to Sabrina]
Sabrina: [Reading box] Some pieces not included in box? What a rip-off!
Quizmaster: I guess you didn't see this either.
[Gives Sabrina an hourglass]
Quizmaster: Now if you don't find the missing pieces and put them in before the sand runs out, Libby will be a puzzle forever.
Sabrina: What?
Hilda: Boy! In the final analysis, the Libby puzzle isn't much fun, is it?

Sabrina: Hi, how you been? I've been fine. Let's get this quiz over with.
Quizmaster: The fine art of conversation lives.

Quizmaster: [to Sabrina] Mortals don't have a lot of restraint when it comes to magic... or firearms. Quiz you later.
Valerie: Hey. Pop out the way you popped in, with all that lightning-and-smoke stuff.
Quizmaster: [to Sabrina] See what I mean? I blame television.

Quizmaster: Well, I missed you and the way you always loathed seeing me. I think maybe I got self-esteem issues.
Sabrina: This is great. I mean, not your self-hatred. The Witches' Council said that you can quiz me again.

Sabrina: [Sabrina and the Quizmaster are searching the float for pieces of the Libby puzzle; Harvey appears from beneath the float] Argh! Harvey! Have you met my friend...
Quizmaster: Invisible!
Sabrina: My friend Suzie? Remind me to introduce you sometime! By the way, you didn't happen to see any jigsaw puzzle pieces under there, did you?
Harvey: No, but to tell you the truth, I was taking a nap. There's something really soothing about being under an engine. But I don't know what it is.
Quizmaster: The fumes?
Sabrina: Sssshhhhh - sure gotta go!
[Runs off, giggling]

Sabrina: Good the head quizmaster doesn't know you don't know your elements. I'd be dead meat.
Sabrina: It's all about you.
Quizmaster: You know what your problem is? Other students focus on getting it right. You focus on how you don't wanna get it wrong.
Sabrina: Wow, how does it feel to be the most brilliant person in the universe?
Quizmaster: You'd think it'd pay more.

Quizmaster: You see that waiter there? Those aren't cocktails, that's a tray full of students.
Sabrina: Ohhh. I don't wanna know what the crab cakes were.

Quizmaster: Listen, stop thinking about how bad it feels to get it wrong, and start thinking about how good it's gonna feel when you get it right.
Sabrina: Okay, I'll try again, but this time if my legs go numb, I want help getting off the bed not just pointing and jeering.

Mrs. Chessler: [On the phone] I don't care. I don't want Marge in my Bridge club. She's a kook.
[Doorbell rings]
Mrs. Chessler: Have you seen what she calls furniture? Ew!
[Doorbell rings again]
Mrs. Chessler: Hold on.
[Opens front door]
Sabrina: [Sabrina and Quizmaster are at the door; he is invisible to Mrs. Chessler] Mrs. Chessler?
Mrs. Chessler: Yes.
Sabrina: Hi, I'm Sabrina. I'm a... friend of Libby's? And, uh, I left a book here that I came to pick up that time when... you... weren't here.
Mrs. Chessler: Mmhm, mmhm!
[Waves her in impatiently, continues talking on the phone]
Mrs. Chessler: I don't care. I don't want Marge in my house. You're not exactly on my A-list either. Kook.
Sabrina: I can see where Libby gets her meanness from.
Quizmaster: Exactly. And I believe that would be another piece to the puzzle.
[Points at puzzle piece which has appeared, stuck on Mrs. Chessler's back]
Mrs. Chessler: [Still on the phone] Are you gonna cry? Because I'll hang up.
Sabrina: [Sabrina pulls puzzle piece off Mrs. Chessler's back, she turns round] Oh, I was just reminding you that we're... I'm still here. I'll just go get that book now.

Sabrina: [Sabrina thinks the puzzle is complete] Oh, no, there's still a piece missing!
[Looks at the hourglass]
Sabrina: And time just ran out!
Quizmaster: Don't worry. That piece doesn't exist yet. It's Libby's compassion for others. And you have to gradually fill that space by showing compassion for Libby, even when she doesn't show it for you. In other words, learn to work together?
Sabrina: I get it.
Quizmaster: Mmhm.
Sabrina: And by the way, could this lesson be any more heavy handed?
Quizmaster: Well, I could've been behind a pulpit! See ya.
[Disappears; the Libby puzzles turns into Libby herself]
Libby: What... is going on? What am I doing here?
Sabrina: Oh, you just came by to see if I needed a ride. I don't.
Libby: I would not! I'm getting out of here.
Sabrina: Uh, wait, Libby. Are you okay?
Libby: I'm fine. Once again, weirdness reigns whenever Sa-freakna's around.
[Leaves]
Sabrina: Oh, yeah. Sympathy for Libby. Piece of cake!

Quizmaster: Ralph is the best student I've ever had. He can even turn himself into uranium. Okay, I'm radioactive now, but the point is, he can do it.

Quizmaster: Turning yourself into fire, water and wind is one of the hardest things a witch has to learn.
Salem: For me, it was learning when to say no to pie.

Amy: Hello again.
Quizmaster: You two know each other?
Amy: Yes, we've...
Sabrina: We've never met. You must be thinking of my evil twin, but usually she's a brunette.

Sabrina: Why am I here?
Quizmaster: Oh, parking ticket? Beheading? I didn't ask.

Sabrina: Your name is Albert? You never told me your name is Albert.
Quizmaster: You never asked. That's not fair. I assumed your name was Quizmaster and the fact that it was also your job just was a happy accident.

Sabrina: So it looks like I passed, huh?
Quizmaster: Yep. Once again, you got yourself out of the mess you got yourself into.
Sabrina: I'll take that as a well done.

Valerie: Uh-oh. Whenever Mr. Kraft makes an announcement in the cafeteria, you open your mouth and get us all in trouble.
Sabrina: That is not true, is it, Harvey?
Harvey: Very true.
Quizmaster: Attention, everyone.
Valerie: Here he comes. Pretend you don't know me.

Quizmaster: Concentrate. You are no longer a physical being. You are a fluid entity. You are water.
Sabrina: Hey, I did it.
Quizmaster: Yes, you did. And it only took you four weeks.
Salem: Am I the only one thinking we should have purchased some rubber sheets?