The Best Lee McDermott Quotes

Susan: I need a man in my life!
Lee: Why? We're so useless.

Gabrielle: Susan, if you're not sure what Jessie ment by it, why don't you just talk to her?
Susan: Oh, that would be way to awkward. She's my boss.
Lynette: She's your boss? Let her kiss you again and then sue her!
Gabrielle: Okay, we're going to figure this out for you. Were her eyes open or shut?
Susan: I don't know.
Gabrielle: Well, how many seconds did the kiss last?
Susan: I don't remember.
Gabrielle: [frustrated] Oh, for God's sake, was it this?
[Gabrielle quickly smooches Susan on her lips]
Gabrielle: Or was it this?
[Gabrielle kisses Susan passionately for about three seconds]
Susan: Uh... the second one.
Lynette: Congratulations. You're now dating a lesbian.
Lee: [snickers] See you at the parade.