Top 1000 Quotes From The Mentalist

Patrick: You think I'm an anti-social personality?
Teresa: Yeah. Sure. Who isn't?

Teresa: You gotta feel for the guy. He lost his livelihood.
Patrick: Meh. He lost a life of getting hit in the head. But he got his marriage back. Seems like a fair trade to me.
Teresa: Aren't you the romantic.
Patrick: Makes the world go around.

Patrick: If it's so cut and dry, why are you here?
Teresa: Them. The media. Director Bertram wanted a CBI presence here.
Patrick: Director Bertram. Let me ask you something: if Director Bertram wanted a CBI presense to jump off a cliff, would you and your CBI presense jump off that cliff?
Teresa: If there was overtime, sure.

Kimball: Terence Badali? CBI. I need to talk to you about Jana Vickers.
Terence: [to the person with whom he's on the phone] I'll call you back.
[he hangs up]
Terence: What about her?
Kimball: You left a threatening message on her answering machine recently.
Terence: How do you know it was me?
Grace: 'Cause an innocent person would say "I didn't do it."

Tamzin: We're all born witch. We're all born into magic. It's taken from us as we grow up.

Wayne: Laid out by a kid, huh?
Coach: It was a lucky punch.
Wayne: So your own student beats you up and you don't tell anyone?
Coach: It was no big deal.

Teresa: What do you think?
Patrick: Well, he's not as dumb as he looks.
Teresa: Is he Red John?
Patrick: It's too early to say.
Teresa: How do we find out?
Patrick: I need to be alone with him.
Teresa: That would not be wise.

Patrick: [on examining Celia Jovanovich's body] Lisbon!
Teresa: Yeah?
Patrick: Check between her toes!
Teresa: Why?
Patrick: Because I don't really want to.

Teresa: When are you guys going to give up chasing him?
Dennis: We're the FBI. We don't give up.

Teresa: Don't make me go there, Sam.
Sam: What are you saying *exactly*?
Teresa: You know what I'm saying. I'll talk about what happened 8 years ago.
Sam: You'd go there?... I don't believe you.
Teresa: Believe me. Here I am.

Teresa: Where are my key?
[Jane holds up her keys]
Teresa: You picked my pocket!
Patrick: My turn to drive.
Teresa: *Jane*!
Patrick: Oh, don't be such an old lady. Get in. Your fears are groundless.
Teresa: You're right. The car has airbags.

Teresa: Did he say "crazy idea"?
Kimball: He said "trust me".
Wayne: Always a bad sign.

Teresa: Do you want to dance?
Patrick: Here? In front of everyone?
Teresa: Sure.
Patrick: Okay. One dance.
Teresa: Two.
Patrick: Everything is a negotiation with you.

Rand: You have no legal proof whatsoever.
Patrick: Eh, legal proof will be found. No doubt. But personally, I don't need it. I just like to know I'm right.

Patrick: My provisional bet? Provisional? Carl Ward.
Grace: Hello? He was shot 3 times.
Patrick: The best accomplice is a dead one.
Wayne: He's not dead.
Patrick: Nobody's perfect.
Teresa: That's it? Carl Ward is crooked because he got shot?
Patrick: He's an ex tennis pro.
Wayne: So?
Patrick: Shady people. By definition, disappointed. Should be on center court at Wimbledon, instead he's tossing lobs to rich old ladies. Makes him bitter and twisted.
Teresa: [sarcastically] Case closed.

Teresa: Just so you know, Jane. I'm okay.
Patrick: About?
Teresa: Losing my job. I'm not going to say that I like it. But we got Red John. It was worth it.
Patrick: Don't be silly. "A", you haven't lost your job.
Teresa: The hearing's a formality.
Patrick: And "B", we didn't get Red John.

Patrick: Uh, Lisbon, I'm sorry, but I think we might have to go back to the crime scene.
Teresa: Really? That place was so creepy.
Patrick: Yes, but I'm worried we might have missed something because of that.
Teresa: Okay, fine, but no jumping out and yelling "boo" at me or anything like that.
Patrick: I mean, seriously, what do you take me for?
Teresa: I am not gonna answer that, 'cause I'm a nice person.

Lydia: The FBI conducts a two-year manhunt, finds its suspect, and brings him back, but instead of a trial by his peers, he is given a government job... with benefits.

Teresa: [after pinching Jane] I'll do worse if you don't stop mouthing off to people who are trying to help you.

Jennifer: This whole time you were just playing me.
Patrick: Not the whole time
Jennifer: This is sad. I- thought we had a real connection
Patrick: We did.
Jennifer: We can again.
Patrick: No, we can't.

Ryan: [to Jane and Lisbon] You guys are great! Tough, good looking, sincere. Let's put you on the air, ask the public for information, you know bla, bla, bla.

[last lines]
Rosalind: You understand. He never called himself Red John to me. The man I knew was Roy Tagliafero.
Patrick: Roy and Red John are the same person. I'm sure of it.
[Jane puts Rosalind's hands on Carter's face]
Rosalind: ...I never met this man. I have no idea who he is.
Patrick: Thank you.

Patrick: There's nothing there, Drew. Never was.
Drew: You planted the second clue?
Patrick: Aha. Yes.
Drew: I didn't kill Foster.
Patrick: Don't be ridiculous. Of course you did. Only the killer knew how to get in here via the secret passageway.
Teresa: You proved your guilt just by walking in the room.

Patrick: The point is there's a coded message here.
Kimball: Or doodles.

Patrick: [after Mashburn's car goes over the edge] Well, uh, at least no one got hurt... It's a terrible color any way... Uh, I'll get you a new one... Sorry.

Wayne: How can you like TRICEEEEE more than T-Rex?
Kimball: T-Rex are losers. Little arms. It's a big chicken with teeth.
Wayne: Yeah, and TRICEEEEE is basically a pig with horns.
Kimball: And a shield on it's head. Beats a giant chicken any day of the week.
Wayne: Ha ha, in your dreams. What did Jane want?
Kimball: He wants us back at the museum.
Wayne: What are we gonna do?
Kimball: Museum heist.
Wayne: Why?
Kimball: I stopped asking questions a long time ago. Come on.

Teresa: [to Sheriff Hardy about Jane] If he does anything wrong, if he jaywalks, shoot him!

Coroner: [after Steiner was atttacked] Jane, was this you?
Patrick: Wh-?
Coroner: Another trick?
Patrick: Oh -.
Teresa: Jane had nothing to do with this. Nothing at all.
[Steiner leaves]
Teresa: You didn't did you?
Patrick: Of course not!
Teresa: Swear on your life?
Patrick: On your life even.
Teresa: Damn it! Who steals a body?

Grace: [referring to Kristina Frye] Excuse me, but you might consider the possibility that she's actually honestly in touch with something beyond your understanding.
Patrick: That would be golf and musical theater of the '30s and '40s.

Patrick: Why are you mad at me?I didn't force you to escape from prison.

Jason: Chad Parkman was a prominent member of the Visualize community. We view his murder as a hate crime. Mr. Haffner is to be included in your investigation.
Ray: Purely as a victim's advocate. But I do like the idea of working with you again, Teresa.
Teresa: I appreciate your concern, Mr. Cooper, but we never let civilians in our investigations, ever.
Ray: [gesturing to Jane] Never ever?
Teresa: Well, he's... he's different.
Patrick: I'm different.

Sheriff: You still don't know how I fooled you, do you? How did I survive that bomb? How did I know all the names on your list?
Patrick: Is this what you've been missing? Appreciation? Hmm? Do you want me to applaud?
Sheriff: You have no idea. Do you?
Patrick: I don't know how you got the list of suspects. It was a good trick. But the bomb gag is simple. There were two explosions. The first was a concussion bomb, knocked everyone out. The second, lethal bomb that killed Haffner and Stiles only went off after you dragged Bertram, Smith, and me out of harm's way.
Sheriff: Correct.
Patrick: Faking your own death was easy. Brett Partridge was Blake Association. His job gave him access to the primary DNA database. He switched your DNA records with a body that you had on ice; a surrogate. And you brought the body to my house in the trunk of you car and you put it alongside Stiles and Haffner.
Sheriff: Very good. Your hindsight is 20/20.

Patrick: I'm trying to work here and you're staring at me like I have two heads.

Teresa: The thing is - not dealing with you everyday has been very restful for me. My back pain's gone. I sleep really well. So I'm not actually so sure I'm grateful to be back.
Patrick: You're a terrible liar. No offense. Good honest people always bad liars.
Teresa: Which makes you what?

Patrick: Where are those suspects you mentioned?
Captain: The witnesses?
Patrick: Whatever.

Michelle: You're definitely taking over the team?
Kimball: [deadpan] Yes.
Michelle: Are you excited?
Kimball: I don't really think about it that way.
Michelle: Isn't this something you've wanted your entire career?
Kimball: Yes.
Michelle: So be excited about it.
Kimball: I am.
Michelle: Oh. Good. So, are they any changes you're going to make when you take over?
Kimball: Yeah, new rule. Rookie agents are seen and not heard.
Michelle: Good luck with that.

Patrick: Show Volker this sketch and watch his face.
Teresa: I know what to do.
Patrick: I know you do.You go girl!

Patrick: I want you to think of this before you go to sleep. You are nothing to him, but a useful object. He is not a good man.

Sheriff: I see the cavalry has arrived.
Teresa: Sheriff McAllister.
Sheriff: Agent Lisbon. What, uh... what brings your crack team to our little slice of heaven?
Teresa: Oh, you know. Any excuse to get up to wine country.

Wayne: Oh my god! Where's my food?
[holding up a bag of carrots]
Wayne: What is this?
Grace: That is healthy and nutritious snacking.
Wayne: I'm going to die.
[Van Pelt chuckles sarcastically]
Wayne: Seriously, I'm allergic to carrots.

Teresa: [to Dr. Carmen] Don't look at me like that. Don't look at me like that, this is your fault. You unlocked too many things in my head and now I can't remember. My head is messed up and it's your fault.

Teresa: You know, Darcy would leave you alone if you just told her the truth.
Patrick: Which truth are you talking about?
Teresa: That you didn't kill Red John, that you lied about it, that you did a lot of stupid things to cover up the lies, and that now he's back, and you're very sorry--that truth.
Patrick: [grimaces and shakes his head] Eh...
Teresa: [raises voice] Can't you see your stubborn arrogance is gonna bite you in the--Agent Darcy!

Patrick: [smelling something on the victim] Smells of juniper.
Kimball: Cologne?
Patrick: Uh... I don't... no, more like... cheap gin. Drunken out of necessity, not pleasure. So he drank alone, he let the killer in. He knew him, or her. They argued...
Deb: How'd you know they argued?
Patrick: Well, he is dead.
Deb: What did they argue about?
Patrick: Well, I don't know. What do people argue about? Money? Power? Love? Jealousy?
Deb: Revenge. Sorry, I shouldn't do that.
Patrick: No, jump right in. This is a murder. It's exciting.

Teresa: I didn't eat all this cheese and grease for nothing. The case is closed. You're just seeing suggestions everywhere. You're too suggestible.

Patrick: Right now I'm just curious.
Michelle: [chipper] Curiosity killed the cat.
[starts to leave]
Patrick: [Perturbed look] Also killed polio.
[says under his breadth]

Teresa: DA's going after me, I'm a three time loser, looking at 25 to life.
Marie: Pigs, push us around.
Teresa: I wish we could just get out of here.
Marie: You mean a break out?
Teresa: Yeah.

Bret: Nobody's past helping... even you.
Patrick: Believe when I say this, you don't want to make this personal. Now give us Stanfeld or I will make it my sole purpose to hound you for the rest of your miserable phony life.

Patrick: My friend, Cho here, will take you by the wrist so as not to let you escape us again.
Kimball: Hi.
Dr. Brooke Harper: Warm hands.
Patrick: Ah, I bet you say that to all your arresting officers.

Morgan: Who are you?
Patrick: I'm the police. Did you kill your daughter?
Morgan: How dare you.
Patrick: I asked you a simple question, sir. Did you kill your daughter?
Morgan: No. I did not kill my daughter. Now you get the hell out of my house.
[Juniper breaks into tears, then hurries out of the room]
Morgan: June? June, what's the matter with you?
[to Patrick]
Morgan: I'm gonna have your badge.
Patrick: An innocent man would have punched me by now.

Abigail: Tell Mr. Jane, he's a mean, irresponsible sadist.
Teresa: Oh, I will.

Krystal: Oh, you're trouble.
Patrick: Harmless as a fly.

Teresa: Now that Quick's been fired for trading an MRI machine for a kidney, let's hope that the hospital's transplant program stays on the up-and-up.
Kimball: Yeah, there's an endless supply of doctors like Quick in the world.
Teresa: Way to see the bright side.

[Jane and Van Pelt are slumped onto Jane's couch watching video surveillance from the high school principal's "illegal" feed]
Grace: We've watched 60 hours' worth of footage. I think it's a dead end.
Patrick: Patience, grasshopper.
Grace: I am being patient.
Patrick: There. Back that up.
Grace: Okay.
Patrick: Can you... can you grow that? Can you... can you biggify it?
Grace: [Smirking] I can do a digital zoom.
Patrick: Good.

Teresa: Hey.
Patrick: Hey.
Teresa: You're a wanted man.
Patrick: Well, I like to think so.
Teresa: Seriously. Abbott put an actual warrant out on you.
Patrick: Eh. It's not the first time.

Wayne: Grace, I love you. I've loved you from the first moment I met you. Screw the rules. Screw CBI. I need you.
Grace: I... uh- that's... um
Wayne: Unless you stop me, I'm going to kiss you now.

Stan: Baby's christening is on Saturday. Any chance you could make it?
Teresa: I'll try.
Stan: [wryly] Got it.
Teresa: What?
Stan: T, we all know with you, "I'll try" means "I won't".
Teresa: Look, I'd like to come. It's just I got a job.
Stan: I got a job, too. You're not the only busy person on the planet.

Virgil: You abused a corpse to get a confession!
Patrick: Used. *Used* a corpse. There's no "ab."

Wayne: You working?
Steve: I get by.
Wayne: Smuggling cigarettes? Dealing meth again?
Steve: My own flesh and blood - a lousy cop. Makes me want to puke.
Wayne: I just don't wanna see you back in jail. That's all.
Steve: You always were a self-righteous bastard. That comes from your mom's side of the family. No matter how many times I straighted you out, I never could fix you of that. It's in the blood, I guess.

Kimball: I hear Abbott's in trouble.
Jason: [Lisbon looks at him indignantly] I'm not very good at keeping secrets.
Teresa: Good thing you're in the FBI.
Kimball: What are we doing about it?
Teresa: Jane's coming up with a plan right now. You might want to think twice before getting in on this one. Both of you. I have a feeling we're gonna be pretty far outside the lines.
Kimball: Well, Jane had me pretend to kill a guy once. We going further outside the lines than that?
Teresa: Probably not.
Kimball: Then I'm good.

Sam: And I like to leave Hicks here to work with your team. That's alright with you?
Teresa: Ok.
Sam: [loudly to Hicks] Keep 'em honest.
Teresa: Hey!
Patrick: [to Lisbon] Easy.
Teresa: Care to reframe that, Sam?
Sam: No. They're Jane's people. They need watching.

Kimball: Why a sexual motive? Could be gangs or drugs.
Patrick: A drug-trade smothering? By who, the Sesame Street Crips?

Patrick: Thanks for your time, Mr. Battaglia. See you later.
Santino: [Jane starts to leave] Hey, wait a minute. I'm not finished talking with you yet.
Patrick: Well, I'm finished talking with you.
Santino: Hey, what are... what are you, Al Pacino all of a sudden? People don't act that way with me!
Patrick: I do, when there's witnesses around.
Santino: [to his associates] What are we gonna do with this guy? He's got a screw loose.
Patrick: You know, you think you have a certain outlaw charm about you, and you do, but you live by oppression. In reality, you're just a greedy, twisted little sadist.

Matt: We're really wondering what your secret is.
Patrick: There's no secret. I'm memorizing the cards.
Matt: Yes, well, Mr. Jane, we don't like people doing that.
Patrick: Is having a good memory illegal?
Matt: No, it's not. We can only congratulate you on your good luck and bar you from the establishment in the future.

Deputy: [Referring to Jane] What's this guy's problem?
Teresa: That would take *way* too long to answer.

Kristina: [to Jane] Well, certain imagery goes with the territory. You know that. People expect a little razzmatazz, like the shiny suits you used to wear.

Patrick: How'd you know it was me that graffiti'd the bathroom?
Principal: A student told me.
Patrick: Well, that's strange, 'cause it was during class, and there was no one else in the bathroom, 'cause I checked.
Principal: Well, somebody saw something, didn't they?
Patrick: Mm. You saw something - on your unauthorized security cameras.
Teresa: What?
Patrick: He has unauthorized security cameras hidden in the bathrooms. It's a little creepy, huh?
Principal: I don't know where you are getting your information, but it is simply not true!
Patrick: [Opens a cupboard revealing the video feeds] Oh! Oh! Hello! Pervy perv perv!

Marshall: Hands in the air!
Patrick: Already done.
Marshall: Down on the ground!
Patrick: Well, ehm... Hands in the air or down on the ground? I'm a little confused.

Adrian: [Opening his apartment door just a crack] Uh sure. CBI? No problem. Uh look, I'm in my skivies. So uh, give me a second to get presentable okay?
[Closes his door]
Kimball: Think he's going to put his pants on before he hits the window?
Wayne: No, I do not.

Patrick: Zachariah and the Z krew.
Orrin: Why should I tell you? You know what I'm thinking.
Patrick: Yes, but it would be more polite if you said it aloud, for their benefit.
[Gestures to Lisbon and Maclean]

Dennis: The D. A. had circumstantial evidence and a piece of Luis' clothing with the dead woman's blood on it. The blood clinched it.
Patrick: Yes, well, blood's very easy to plant. Childishly easy, really.

Gabriel: He had so much wrongness in him I couldn't look at him. It was like staring at the sun.

Patrick: [to the culprit] Uh, yes. It's me they're after, not you. And there is no DNA evidence either. That's scientific forensics. That's - that's very overrated. Thank you for the tea.

Teresa: Hey. About that question.
Agent: Was that "do you like butter with your popcorn?" or "will you come with me to D. C.?"

Patrick: You really think I would set you up so nicely and let you pull a loaded gun on me?... I took the bullets out earlier.

Teresa: Why don't we just skip the part where you lie to me and get right to the part where you tell me what you're gonna do?
Patrick: Red John let Kristina make a call that could be traced. He's playing a game.
[walks away]
Teresa: With who?
Patrick: [walks upstairs and looks back at Lisbon] See you later.

Teresa: Let's watch "Casablanca," huh? What is it about, anyway?
Agent: Well, various things, but basically it's a love story about a woman who has to choose between two men.
[pause]
Agent: There's also a baseball game on.
Teresa: That sounds better.
Agent: Yeah, let's do that.

Virgil: Lisbon. I had a horrible dream. I dreamt that Jane escaped the County Jail. I dreamt that the Sheriff, the AG, and the District Super all called to *yell* at me. Now, you're going to wake me up, yes?
Teresa: I'm sorry, sir. I have no excuse for him. He is beyond out of line.

LaRoche.: I need assistance with my investigation into his murder. I need someone... trustworthy.
Grace: "Assistance?" You have a whole unit.
LaRoche.: I need you.
Grace: Me? Do you have suspect?... Is it someone I work with?
LaRoche.: We'll discuss the specifics at a later point. But essentially, all you have to do is keep your eyes open, and at a later point you might be asked to wear a wire.

Patrick: Was it worth it?
Max: Was what worth it?
Patrick: The man that killed your wife no longer exists. The time you took pursuing him, the pain, the sacrifice. Was it worth it?
Max: Yes, it was.

Teresa: This room makes me feel like I'm in an aquarium and everyone's looking at me.
Patrick: Mm. Well, you could very easily feel like they're all in the aquarium and you're looking at them.

Patrick: I didn't give her hope. I sold her hope.
Teresa: I think hope is worth it at any price.
Patrick: What? Are you running for office now?
Teresa: Okay, you know what? You're a wicked charlatan. You're going to Hell then.
Patrick: That's more like it. Save you a seat by the fire.
Teresa: Oh, I'm not going to hell.
Patrick: Oh, you're not, huh?
Teresa: No.

Wayne: [after watching the victim's hostage video] No blindfold. It's not good. Means they don't care if she sees anything.

Virgil: Someone did try to kill him, remember? We can protect him better here.
Patrick: Thank you, Virgil.
Virgil: Okay, but this is a favor. If you die in this department, I'm responsible. I do all the paperwork. In fact, if he does die for whatever reason, move him to a public area, would you? I'd be very grateful.

Grace: Why did you kill that man back in 2001? If you don't mind my asking.
Joe: [wry laugh] I don't know, ma'am. It's foolishness. Look, I... I did a lot of bad things back in the day. That was just the one they caught me for.

Patrick: You guys took your time getting here, didn't you? Another minute, I would have been bobbing around there in the marina like a dead duck.
Kim: Maybe you'll learn your lesson.
Patrick: What lesson is that?
Kim: If you'd actually told about us your plan in advance, we'd have had time to get here.
Teresa: I've been trying to tell him that for years.
Patrick: Oh. Cho, you're with me, aren't you?
Kimball: No. I'm with them. You're a terrible communicator. You're just lucky we found the right boat.

KS: You're a cop. You'll what the man tells you.
Kimball: I'll do what needs to be done. You know that.

Kenyon: Mr. Jane, any sign of Kilgallen?
Patrick: Afraid not.
Kenyon: Well, find him soon, please. I'd very much like to fire him.

Teresa: What can you get for $127.68?
Kimball: You can go crazy at the Olive Garden.

Sherry: What did you do?
Patrick: I said I wouldn't let her burn. This way she won't suffer.
Sherry: [yells] Son of a bitch! You think I won't hurt you more?
[Winger grabs a cattle prod and attacks Jane]
Sherry: I can do this all night!

Coroner: [Last words] Patrick. Thank you.

Dennis: Did you hear the news? Your grand jury investigation ended. And they voted to indict you for murder.
Patrick: Well, is it any wonder?
Dennis: Well, the A. G. is making it go away, but, you know, it's a good thing that you're under our protection.
Patrick: Hm. That's a fact that you'll never let me forget.

Teresa: Jessie Skelling?
Jessie: No, I'm Cindy Crawford. Jessie's on vacation in Mexico.

Sophie: Well, I'm ruined as a scientist. So, I'll probably go back to helping people one by one.
Patrick: I think that's a great idea. You're very good at that.
Sophie: ...Thanks...
[Patrick leans across and kisses her on the cheek]
Patrick: Goodbye, Sophie. Be well.

D.A. Osvaldo Ardiles: Just to save time here, I'm sorry but I can't cut your man, Jane, any slack on bail.
Gale: No. No. No. I don't want you to. No, on the contrary. I want you to make sure he stays locked up as long as possible.
D.A. Osvaldo Ardiles: Okay, he's your man.
Gale: Don't get me wrong. It's heartbreaking when a good man, a productive employee like Jane goes down in flames. But this is about damage control now. We need to make sure that he is safely out of the way until this media crapstorm passes.

Tom: I apologized to her only last week teaching her a dying profession. Journalism's dying, you know? All this... internet.

Teresa: [a cellphone is ringing] What if - what if it triggers the bomb?
Patrick: We'll never know.

Patrick: Calling? Is that what this is?
Kristina: Yeah. Calling. Gift if you like, there's no doubt you have it. Why'd you give it up?
Patrick: It was the suits. Chaffing. Horrible.

Kim: How did you make it work for so long?
Teresa: I've thought about that myself. I mean... after he disappeared, how I made it work for so long.
Kim: And what's the answer?
Teresa: I have no idea.

Trixie: [Quietly] Hey, you're Patrick's friend, right?
Teresa: Yeah.
Trixie: He said to tell you he's really really sorry about all this.
Teresa: Jane's with Danny?
Trixie: Jane? No. It was a man, Patrick.

Patrick: You're not dead.
Kristina: You're talking to a ghost and still you're a skeptic. You are impossible.

Red: I think we have a connection that needs to be honored. I want to say goodbye, I want to apologize for any pain I might have caused you and I want to release you from this curse you've been under.
Patrick: I'm not under a curse.
Red: Doomed to an endless, angry search for a vengeance you'll never have; I would call that a curse, wouldn't you?
Patrick: I look on it more as a hobby, and I will have that vengeance.
Red: "Vengeance".
[scoffs]
Red: On what? Look at- look at me, I'm just a regular guy! You thought I'd have horns,
[scoffs again]
Red: right? I'm not a monster. I'm not the devil. I'm just another human being with flaws and vices and problems, just like anybody else. Forget about me. I'm not worth ruining your life over.

Teresa: Look I don't want to make this official, talk to a judge or anything. Once we do that, the cat's out of the bag for good. If you're clean on this, here's the way to prove it.
[Prciado hands his weapon to Lisbon. Jane grabs Preciado's wrist]
Teresa: Is this the only .38 in your possession.
Steve: Yes it is.
[Angrily to Jane]
Steve: And if you try to hold my hand again, I'm going to tear your arm off and beat you unconscious with it! Get me?
Patrick: Gotcha.

Grace: Boss, just got Frost's phone records. Look at this. That's Ray Haffner's cell phone. Frost called it three times the week before he stabbed Parkman.
Patrick: Well, let's go see what brother Ray has to say about that.
Teresa: He's not here. He went to the hotel. He said he had to check on something.
Patrick: We'll go there.
Teresa: No, you stay here. Grace and I will go.
Patrick: Don't be ridiculous.
Teresa: We'll be fine. He's more likely to let something slip to us than he would to you.
Patrick: All right. But what am I supposed to do? Just sit around?
Teresa: Well, we still haven't figured out how Frost got out of the hotel room after he stabbed Parkman.
Patrick: Except Frost couldn't have been there in the first place, could he?
Teresa: You said it was a trick. Figure it out.

Virgil: No. You failed the poly, Agent Lisbon. "Significant indications of deception" they say. You're relieved of duty agent. Report to admin for processing.
Teresa: Boss...
Virgil: Don't!

Kimball: You wanted Connor dead. You grabbed him and then made it look like a child murderer did it. Which part are we misunderstanding?

Patrick: Okay, I'll see a doctor. Uh, excuse me, doctor?
Patrick: [the Coroner turns around] I know, I'm a live patient. I'm excited too.

Rand: Agent Lisbon, this is a high profile case. A career making case if concluded successfully. Is this how you wish to proceed, with clownish games?
Teresa: I apologize. Mr. Jane is a consultant. His statements in no way reflect the official view of the CBI.

Patrick: Are you blind? You've done exactly what I did. I went on television, and talked about him as though I knew him, and he killed my wife and child.
Kristina: Patrick, he was punishing you. Because you lied about him. I was telling the truth. He won't take offense with me. He might even listen to what I said, in fact, - I believe he will. People do change, Patrick, it's possible. Agent Hightower, I'm truly sorry for dismaying you. If you'll excuse me, I have some appointments.

Terry: [after knocking down Rigsby] You want some too?
Teresa: No, thank you.
[Lisbon tasers Andrews]

Patrick: Taking pleasure in this?
Madeleine: Don't get me wrong. You are a pain in the ass.
Patrick: Oh, thank you.
Madeleine: But I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you, especially when it would be my fault.
Patrick: I'm sure your conscience is clear now.
Madeleine: It is. Now leave me alone. The next time I hear from you, you'd better be telling me Red John is dead.
Patrick: Deal. That is a deal. Thank you, Madeleine.
Madeleine: [he kisses her cheek] You're welcome, Patrick. Good luck.

Ray: What is with all the secrecy? Seriously, why are you always holding out on me? You don't think I'm Red John, do you?
[noticing her reaction]
Ray: You do, don't you? Tell you what. You want to question me, you arrest me. Otherwise, you leave me the hell out of this.
Teresa: Sit down. Ray, sit. If asking's not gonna work, I won't ask. You're no longer with the CBI. You don't get the same protection law enforcement gets.
Ray: What, are you threatening me?
Teresa: No, Jane is. He wants to see you tomorrow night. If you don't show up, he will assume you're Red John. And Ray, he will come after you.
Ray: You got to be kidding me.
Teresa: You know Jane. You know what happened to him. You know what Red John did to him. If I were you, I wouldn't test him.

Patrick: Did they put a chip in your neck?
Kimball: Not that I know of. Why do you ask?
Patrick: Well, you just don't seem too happy to see me.
Kimball: I am happy to see you. I just wish it was under different circumstances.
Patrick: Why's that?
Kimball: I don't think you and the FBI are gonna get along very well. I don't think they really understand how you operate.
Patrick: Eh. They'll loosen up once they get to know me.

Sheriff: Please don't... don't kill me.
Patrick: Oh, now you want mercy. After all you've done.
Sheriff: You're not like me. You're a good man. It'll haunt you.
Patrick: Oh, I'm not hesitating. I'm just savoring a moment. You're Red John. I have to say, I'm a little disappointed.

Jeremiah: Are you one of the cops?
Patrick: Cop-adjacent, maybe.

Patrick: There's been a breakthrough in the Red John investigation. I have some new information; some very significant information.
Reede: Okay. What is it?
Patrick: No, no. Not yet. I'm not sure who I can trust. I'm not even sure I can trust you. Red John has some very powerful allies.
Reede: Patrick... come on.
Patrick: Okay. But not here. Meet me at eight o'clock on Thursday night.
Reede: Thursday? Why?
Patrick: I need time to find a safe place to meet.
Reede: Fine. Where?
Patrick: I'll let you know the day of.
Reede: This is crazy.
Patrick: I have made the mistake of underestimating Red John a number of times now. I don't want to make that mistake again. If you want the information, it's on my terms.

Wayne: Like I said it's complicated.
Kimball: No it isn't. Which do you want more: job or Van Pelt?
Wayne: What? It's - it's not that easy.
Kimball: Sure it is.

Jason: This is all the physical evidence from the Elijah Macy murder scene. I sorted it by order of relevance with this end of the table being most relevant.
Patrick: What do you consider relevant?
Jason: Any object that can yield trace evidence of the shooter. If we I. D. the triggerman, we can cut a deal with him to finger Acardo.
Patrick: Yeah, uh, trace evidence, that's the fibers and the hairs and the gooey stuff, yeah?
Jason: That's an oversimplification, but, yes. In the last year alone, there are 17 new methods for extracting DNA evidence from...
Patrick: Yeah, we know that there's a lot of ways to find out what we need, right, Wylie? Hmm?
Jason: Yeah.
Patrick: So, uh, there's the federal way, with the trace evidence, and then there's a more interesting way. Let's go with the more interesting way.

Teresa: Now that she's killed someone, they're gonna look again into her escape.
Patrick: That's likely.
Teresa: Jane, I know you broke her out of prison. And you know I know.
Patrick: And I know you know I know.
Teresa: This is not funny! If they find out, you could be charged as an accomplice to murder.
Patrick: Well, if they find out. They won't, unless, of course, you sing to the coppers.
Teresa: Which I won't. And that makes me an accomplice to murder, as well.
Patrick: Well, only if you look at it like a very persnickety lawyer.

Teresa: [as a result of Jane's meddling, the bride has called off her wedding] Nice push.
Patrick: Eh, something good will come out of this. You'll see. Can we go back to Napa now?
Teresa: Please.

Patrick: [to Sophie] You ever notice that... feeling, that physical unwell feeling you get when you know you should say or do something. Heart pounds. Headache. Backache... You can feel better immediately. If you tell the truth... right now.

Patrick: Trust me. You'll have fun.
J.J. LaRoche: Trust me. You'll have fun. Was there ever a more suspicious phrase?

Kimball: [about Tibbs's concealed weapons license] These aren't easy to come by. You have to demonstrate a need.
Henry: I'm a Texas man. That's my need. Met a local sheriff who sympathized. Hook 'em horns.

Virgil: Okay here it is. If you pursue this any further,I'm going to have to throw you out of the CBI. We can't take that liability. I very much do not want to have to do that!
Patrick: [Clears his throat] I know you don't. So, uh, well, I'll spare you the trouble.
[Puts his card on the desk]
Patrick: I quit.
Teresa: Don't do that.
Patrick: [Looking at Lisbon] No. It's okay. It's best this way. You are the Good Witch, Glinda, obviously. Thank you. I learned a lot.

Kimball: [as Rigsby joins them] Why'd you call him?
Patrick: Oh, um, you're an unreliable partner. I nearly got shot.

Erica: You're simply doing what you've been doing since your wife died. Intentionally sabotaging any relationship by pushing away anyone who makes you feel something. You want me to be the killer because you don't want to have feelings for me. It's a tragic but natural response to the guilt you feel over your wife's death.
Patrick: I do push people away. And I do feel guilt over my wife's death. But that does not change the fact that you murdered your husband. I am more certain of that than ever!

Teresa: [Quietly] You son of a bitch. You scared the crap out of me.
Patrick: Oh please. Like I don't know how to work a fat crowd of suckers.

Kimball: [talking about the victim's husband] So if he's not white-water rafting, where is he?
Patrick: [on the phone] Well, I don't know, but I'm sure you two will figure it out. And, Rigsby... Put the cupcake back.
[Cho looks at Rigsby. Rigsby takes out the cupcake that he was hiding behind him and puts it on the table with a guilty look]

Patrick: You're still here.
Charlotte: You're still tripping.
Patrick: It would seem so.
Charlotte: You really shouldn't be driving. And you especially should not be driving an ambulance.

Wayne: I don't believe this guy. I give up! I do not understand women. Never have, never will. Seems like the dumber you treat them, the better they like it.
Grace: They're *drunk* women. You can't generalize all women in general.
Teresa: [Whispers to Jane] This is your fault.
Patrick: No, it's not. I'm just sitting here.

Patrick: Hansel and Gretel had breadcrumbs, I had Rigsby. I knew he'd lead me to the guilty one, so I put a tracking device in his pocket. Bingo.
Lindsay: Smart. Except for the part where I have the gun.
Patrick: [Lindsay aims said gun at him] Oh, I have a gun, too. Lisbon?
Teresa: [approaching with her own gun drawn] Drop the weapon!
Teresa: So predictable. Rick?
Rick: [approaching behind Lisbon with his own gun] You should put the gun down now.
Patrick: Oh, for heaven's sake.

Jason: Scanning long-range frequencies is like... I don't have a metaphor. It's hard.

Sheriff: [speaking of the search parties] I know all those guys. I'll vouch for every one of them... Well most of them... I'll call them in.

Felicia: Patrick, would you do me a favor?
Patrick: Oh, I might.
Felicia: Tell Sydney I'm sorry. I see now, on reflection, I wasn't the stepmother I might've been. I'm sorry for that. I did try. I hope and pray she doesn't become bitter. But that she finds happiness.
[sobs]
Felicia: Because happiness is so hard to find. Once you find it, you better hang on tight. Or you lose it.
Patrick: That's true... That's true.

Patrick: You called me an asset. That's so touching.
Dennis: I'm an optimist.

Teresa: Know what's weird about those guys? None of them seem to give a damn. A colleague of theirs falls out of the sky and they seem okay with it. Is that guilt or indifference?
Patrick: Corporate brainwashing.

Grace: Seriously, I haven't had hot water in three days. My landlord's being total jerk and won't fix it.
Kimball: You should buy.
Grace: So I can deal with a bank instead of a landlord? Big step up.

Ray: You know, we study you at Visualize now.
Patrick: Oh.
Ray: Yeah. Your blind struggle against fate. So heroic. So fruitless. Bret says there's a lot to be learned from watching Patrick Jane, so we all do.
Patrick: So much anger. It's not good for you.
Ray: Anger? I'm not angry.
Patrick: Annihilating rage. About what, I have no idea.
Ray: You don't know anything about me.
Patrick: Well, just what's written on your face.
Ray: You're so much smarter than everybody else, right? But it isn't helping you catch Red John, is it? Here's a switch for you: I'm gonna predict your future. There's a comeuppance headed your way.
Patrick: [giving him an amused grin] You're a worse psychic than you were a cop.

Grace: Mr. Jane, I have a question regarding your previous career path.
Patrick: Fire away.
Grace: When you met with other psychics, real psychics, could they tell you were just pretending?
Patrick: There's no such thing as real psychics.
Grace: I beg to differ. My cousin Yolonda is a psychic.
Patrick: Your cousin is deluded or dishonest or both.
Wayne: Hey. Steady.
Grace: No, no. He's entitled to his opinion. He's wrong, though. She has power.
Patrick: [a waitress brings the check] Thank you.
Grace: She can communicate with the other side. I've seen her do it myself.
Patrick: She let you speak with someone that's gone?
Grace: Yes.
Patrick: Someone that you love and still miss very much?
Grace: Yes.
Patrick: You wanted her power to be real, so it was.
Grace: No.
Wayne: You're so sure you're right. Science don't know everything.

Teresa: Too bad if the bait gets killed.
Patrick: Well, yes. That's why you use goats, and not babies or virgins for that matter.
Teresa: Machado's no a goat.

Kenyon: We had a problem. In years past, people would go to a house about when they... wanted that kind of thing. But there was drunkenness, accidents, arrests. Not a healthy situation in the age of the camera phone.So Kilgallen came up with the idea of moving the enterprise onto our grounds as a way of avoiding the difficulties. And it worked. We've had no problems since then.
Patrick: Except a murder.

Kimball: We have to assume that Keller is alive and looking for Jane. How many agents are you gonna have at their wedding?
Dennis: Four, but now I think we should probably have more.
Kimball: At least ten. We're gonna need eyes on the front and back yards, and the surrounding neighbourhoods. We should have a chopper on standby in case we need to pursue.
Rick: Yes, sir. But... wouldn't it be wiser to just... postpone the wedding?
Kimball: [Cho and Abbott both stare at Tork] Postpone the wedding? We're the FBI.
Rick: There is that upside. We can use the wedding as bait. Kinda.
[Cho and Abbott continue to stare at him]
Rick: ... I'm gonna go check on that chopper.

Dennis: Bill Peterson doesn't have much of a bedside manner, but he's not a traitor.
Kimball: I thought we couldn't rule anyone out.
Patrick: Abbott's right. Peterson's not a suspect.
Dennis: Good. So, we'll, uh, just dig down into his team. Personal reviews, bank records. Anything that points to a motive. Ego, revenge.
[seeing Jane's expression]
Dennis: What? You disagree?
Patrick: Well, they're all poorly paid government employees. You're not gonna have to dig too deep to find motive.
Dennis: You have a better idea?
Patrick: Maybe. But first I need someone to run an errand for me.

Kimball: I've got the client list here right here. It's evidence. What did you do that for?
Patrick: I have eliminated this man from any suspicion. Too honest to profit from a killing, too honest to kill, right?
Salesman: Right.
[Cho leaves to break up all the fighting sales people. Jane stays behind with the last Salesman]
Patrick: Unless, of course you're very cunning. And you're working a double bluff... No. I didn't think so.

Robert: [bumps into Jane] Sorry Mister Jane.
Patrick: Do I know you?
Robert: No. But I know you.

Patrick: How did he get the black eye?
Principal: He said that he was playing basketball with some students after school.
Patrick: But you didn't believe him?
Principal: Well, why would he lie? Of course I believed him.
Patrick: No, you didn't.
Principal: Well, why would I lie?
Patrick: Probably just bureaucratic instinct.

Teresa: My father was a good man, just like you were. And after my mom died, he was a self-pitying drunk just like you are. He killed himself. Damn near killed me and my brothers too.
[Hands card to Jack Tanner]
Teresa: Get some help. Your kids deserve it. You do too.

Heather: No. I'm blessed is what I am. The universe wants me to have this money. I'm sorry I have to kill you, but I'm doing it from a place of love.

Virgil: Step carefully. I want daily reports. Oh, and how did the Bats interview go?
Patrick: Oh, that was very exciting.
[Jane leaves]
Virgil: What did he do?
Teresa: Nothing that can't be repaired.
[Lisbon leaves]

Teresa: Jane has an idea... But if we generate any complaints as to how we go about this, you're gonna back us right?
Virgil: Well that depends... Obviously we need a win here. But I-I won't sanction anything underhanded or actionable.
Teresa: That's kind of vague.
Virgil: The whole point of this unit is- is subtlety and discretion and judgment. I expect *you* to do what's right without dragging me into it.

Patrick: Sonny Battaglia?
Santino: Keep moving, jack.
Patrick: Name's Jane. Patrick Jane. I need a moment of your time, if I may.
Santino: For what?
Patrick: To speak about Eddie Russo.
Santino: You a cop?
Patrick: No.
Santino: Good. You alone?
Patrick: Yeah.
Santino: [to his bodyguard] Shoot him.

Clinic: Now may I ask which one of you needs our help, or is it both of you?
Teresa: Actually, we just wanted...
Patrick: It's her.
Teresa: No.
Patrick: Oh, darling, please. Can we just this once do it my way? Just *once?*
[Lisbon stays quiet]
Patrick: Thank you.
[to clinic director]
Patrick: In the beginning, it was just social, But, uh, well, more recently, uh... It's been starting to worry both of us.
[to Lisbon]
Patrick: Right, darling?
[Lisbon nods]
Clinic: Right this way. I'll introduce you to one of our intake specialists.
Patrick: Fantastic.
[pretends to check his phone]
Patrick: Oh, uh, that's the office. I'm gonna have to take this. Uh, baby, you go ahead, take a look. I'll be five minutes. I'll be right there.
[to clinic director]
Patrick: Look after her.
[Clinic director and Lisbon walk away from Jane]
Patrick: [shouts after Lisbon] I'm very proud of you.
Clinic: [to Lisbone] I understand your nervousness.
Patrick: [still shouting after Lisbon] I love you.

[final lines of the episode]
Patrick: I'm touched that you would risk your career for me. That means a lot to me.
Teresa: If you're right, and I'm not saying you are, it would mean I broke the trust of someone I respect and admire for your sake. If it is true, I would hope in the future, you'd be a little bit more mature and responsible in your behavior.
Patrick: I'm grateful and all, but let's not go crazy here.
Teresa: I should've let you rot in jail.

Teresa: If it wasn't him, then who was it? And if you say a man who likes red hair and silver duct tape, I'll scream.
Patrick: I don't want you to scream.

Patrick: You came to seek revenge, too, huh? I shouldn't have made the clue so easy.

Det. Louis Earlen: If it is the same people that took Colin, you do this girl's family a favor. Money drops at 6:00, at 6:01 you tell them their child is dead. Give 'em a chance to get used to it. It would be a kindness.

Jason: I think I've made myself clear, agents. I have no knowledge of Bret Stiles' whereabouts.
Wayne: Yes, Mr. Cooper, and we've made clear that we're not buying it.
Kimball: Stiles leaves you in charge of Visualize, but he keeps you in the dark about where's hiding? Doesn't make sense.
Jason: Stiles has, and always will, put the church's needs before his own. This time is no different. He doesn't want me to know because he wants to protect me.
Kimball: And because he doesn't want to be found.
Jason: I doubt Bret Stiles is worried about being found.
Kimball: You seem confident.
Jason: Call it faith. You see, Stiles' time in our reality is limited. As we speak, he's preparing his mind and body for a departure from the confines of our material world.
Wayne: He's dying?
Jason: That is a very naive, very ignorant way of looking at it. Bret Stiles is not dying. Bret Stiles cannot die. He is elevating himself to another plane. One lesser men like ourselves can only strive to reach. And one some of us obviously can't comprehend.

Marie: My boyfriend, his name's Cole, he's an outlaw, live wild, I like that, really wild, right now we're living in a warehouse, cars like you wouldn't believe, million dollar cars.

Patrick: You know you're a very good liar. Most people subconsciously signal dishonesty. But you, there's nothing. No inner conflict. Usually that's the mark of what shrinks like to call a sociopath.
Von: Well, if by sociopath you mean that if you cross me, I would enjoy watching you suffer pain before I kill you. Then yeah, I'm a sociopath. See ya.

Walter: Oh, I know you're a charlatan as I said. You lost your wife and kid to a serial killer, your fault you think. And now you're on this hopeless quest for redemption. Battling evil and injustice, right?
Patrick: Close enough.
Walter: You play mind games with people. You size up their weaknesses and then you give them the rope to hang themselves.
Patrick: Oh, you make it sound so cool.

Teresa: You have 5 seconds to tell me what's going on?
Patrick: First we need a drink.
[Jane grabs two champagne glasses]
Teresa: Is it that bad?
Patrick: [Sipping some champagne] It's lovely.

Kimball: Why did you tell Peregrine Hartley to lie to us, sir?
Nathan: I didn't tell her to lie. I asked Peregrine not to raise certain irrelevant information.

Victoria: Your aura is fascinating, Mr. Jane. So many hues.
Patrick: Thank you. The mansion's uninhabitable. Why would you want it back?
Victoria: Sentimental reasons.
Patrick: Mmm... nope. No, that's not right. You're closed, furtive. You're hiding something. There's something in that house, isn't there? Something you don't want anyone else to find. Evidence of your guilt, perhaps.
Victoria: That's absurd.
Patrick: No. Yeah, you're right. That is absurd. It's something else entirely. Ah! The treasure.
Teresa: What treasure?
Patrick: Walter Beckworth's treasure he hid in the mansion.
Victoria: I wanted my house back because I didn't like what Foster planned for it. He was going to destroy it.
Teresa: Foster had only been there a few weeks. How could you have known what he was going to do before he did?
Victoria: In conversation, he told me.
Teresa: Ma'am, we find out you're lying, you become suspect number one.

Dennis: [Speaking to an empty cabin] I know you can hear me. And see me. 'Cause you've got a camera in here. You did it so you can blackmail one of Madison's clients. It's how you also knew that you needed to clean that golf cart before the tech got here. We only talked about it in this room, so we know you heard. It's how you also knew not to take the phone. But I still got it. And it still has evidence that will implicate you. And given the exchange that I know you witnessed in here between me and Mr.Gryska, I'm pretty sure that you know that I am willing to make a deal. I'll give you 10 minutes.
Gregory: [Footsteps] What kind of deal are we talking about?
Dennis: None at all.
[Dyer is surrounded by agents]

Patrick: Okay, you're right. I... I'm sorry, Lisbon. I didn't think about you.
Teresa: Well, you rarely do.
Patrick: Well, that's not true. I made you one of my demands. I... I'm not joining the FBI unless they make you a job offer.
Teresa: That's my point. What makes you think I want to work with you again? You are difficult and exhausting, and maybe I don't want to put the rest of my life on hold to be your sidekick. Have you ever even thought about that?
Patrick: No. No. I hadn't considered it.
Teresa: You think you know what's good for my life, but you haven't been a part of my life for two years. So let's get this case wrapped up so I can go home.

Patrick: There's only one person who has this singular affect on people. You've been LaRoche'd, haven't you?
Madeleine: I suppose I have.
Patrick: No shame in it. We're all pots in his kitchen and he's the sous chef just waiting for one of us to boil over.
Madeleine: I won't give him the satisfaction.

Patrick: What about those two?
Teresa: The lady? I don't think so.
Patrick: Not just her. The two of them. They're obviously traveling together. They're not a couple, there's no intimacy there.
Teresa: Oh, they've been in a truck for hours. How could there be intimacy?

Patrick: [checking out the victim's sailboat] Seems like a civilized way to travel, don't you think?
Teresa: Are you kidding? Stuck on that thing in the middle of the ocean? It's like being in a prison cell with a chance of drowning.

Teresa: What's up that we couldn't talk inside? I'm busy.
Patrick: Thought you might want to be outside so you could express your anger without constraint.
Teresa: Why?
Patrick: I know you lied about the alibi.
Teresa: I don't lie.
Patrick: I don't know what you did on Tuesday night, but you weren't watching TV.
Teresa: I didn't lie. He made risotto.
Patrick: Now this is insulting. You gonna continue lying to me?

Kimball: Creepy.
Patrick: What? You don't like giant eyeballs?

[last lines]
Patrick: [after killing Red John, he calls Lisbon] Lisbon, it's over. It's done. I just want you to know I'm okay. I'm gonna miss you.

Patrick: [surprised to see Kim at the FBI office] Kim?
Dennis: Agent Fischer.
Teresa: "Kim"?
Kim: Agent Fischer.
Patrick: [realizing something] Agent Fischer.
Dennis: Mr. Jane will be going to a detention suite.
Kim: I'm sorry to hear that. I'll make the arrangements.
Patrick: Oh, yeah, I'm not fussy. If you have one with a view, I'll take it. If not, uh... whatever. As long as I can make some tea.
Teresa: Who is she and what is a detention suite?
Patrick: Don't worry, Lisbon. It's all under control.

Coroner: You're the consultant that pretends to read minds, aren't you?
Patrick: No. I don't pretend to read minds, I *do* read minds. Don't we all look at Lisbon and see what she's thinking.
Teresa: No kidding.
Patrick: And I can see what you're thinking right now.
Coroner: I was thinking that you, sir, are a bumptious fool, and I was wondering exactly what training in forensic pathology you have.
Patrick: Ah. But right before that, you were wondering whether you would choose Lisbon or Van Pelt as your concubine in that little fantasy kingdom you like to visit sometimes.

Kimball: [Into his cellphone] This is Special Agent Cho. We've got agents down, on the fifth floor. Yes, inside the building! We are on lockdown on my authority. I have three agents down. I need EMT's. Roll SWAT, SAC PD, and CHP. And have them set up a perimeter. Suspects may still be here. *Just lock this place down!*

Joanna: As a therapist, I'd like to think that I can help my patients get sober. But as a recovering alcoholic, I know I can't make someone stop before they're ready. There but for the Grace of God.
Patrick: Mm. Well, let's leave God out of it, shall we?

Dr. Linus Wagner: Why is it you can't sleep?
Patrick: Because I can't get the good pills without talking to a doctor.
Dr. Linus Wagner: And you don't like talking to doctors.
Patrick: Well, you know. The always want to be the smartest person in the room, don't they? When in fact that's me, obviously.

Grace: It's really important to you that Kristina's a fake, isn't it? Because if she's not. If she does have a gift, everything you mock, everything you discredit, everything you stand for gets turned upside down.
Patrick: Um
[Jane clears his throat]
Patrick: Yeah. True. Unlikely, but true.

Patrick: You're really good at make believe.
Oscar: Yes I am.
Patrick: A master like you, when you want to see your mother, you can make believe she's here. Talk to her, whatever you like. I do it all the time.
Oscar: You talk to my mom?
Patrick: No. To my wife.

Patrick: Pick a card.
Wayne: [picking a card] That one.
Patrick: Memorize it.
[Rigby studies the card, then returns it to the deck]
Patrick: [studying Rigsby's face] Jack of diamonds.
Wayne: Nope.
Patrick: Huh. Are you sure?
Wayne: Yep.
Patrick: Well, uh... Cho?
Kimball: It's a card trick. Not interested.

Agent: I've heard good things about you. We'd be happy to have your input. These guys, they're... they're really good. And our cases don't usually lead to homicide.
Sylvia: But you are going to catch them, aren't you?
Patrick: I hate to sound immodest, ma'am but I rarely fail.

Teresa: Listen up here, Willie. Some of the stuff you're carrying on you came off a dead man.
Willie: That's not good.
Grace: Neither is the dried blood on your shirt. How'd that get there?
Willie: Let's see uh... I got the blood on me when I was stabbing that fella in the alley.

Kim: Congratulations. You got one over on me. It's a nice stunt. You feel better now?
Patrick: Mm. No. You woke me up.
Kim: Yeah, I don't get you. You hunted down and killed your enemy. Why are you making new ones?
Patrick: Eh, you're right. Running away was a mistake. I'm ready to discuss the job offer now.
Kim: There is no offer. Not anymore.
Patrick: Nonsense. Let's talk.
Kim: I am taking you back to Texas. And next week, you'll be indicted for the murder of Thomas McAllister, among other charges.

Steve: Don't go too easy on him.
Wayne: No parental advice, thanks.
Steve: What you got to complain about? I did my job.
Wayne: You did your job...
Steve: That's right. You're still here. You're a man of respect. Go around all over the place with a legit weapon. You got a handsome son. I did a good job.

Kimball: I don't want to talk about your feelings.
Wayne: Good, neither do I.

Kimball: That's a high end sensor lock. It's gonna be tough to bust into. I'll call tech services. Tell them we need a locksmith.
Teresa: [Finding the victim's severed finger] Uh, don't bother. I found a key.
Kimball: No, this type of safe doesn't use a key.
Teresa: [Lisbon puts the finger on the sensor] Oh, yes, it does.
[Lisbon gives the finger to Van Pelt]
Teresa: Bag it.

Grace: So what's the plan?
Patrick: Well, if anyone tries to kill me, shoot them.

Kimball: I'll call LaRoche.
Teresa: No. No. No. Don't!
Kimball: Why not? It's his case.
Patrick: We gotta get out of here now! Fix it with SAC PD we were never here.

Patrick: The ghost has something to do with Foster's death.
Teresa: No, it doesn't because ghosts don't exist.
Patrick: They don't exist in *your* mind. But if you believe they exist then... they exist.

Luther: So I uh, I cross referenced all of my observations with your history as a thief and con artist. And uh, congratulations, Jane. According to the score, you're a clinical psychopath.
Patrick: Wow. Well... certainly explains a lot.
Luther: Now I know what I'm dealing with so... I'll adjust accordingly.
Patrick: As you should.

Patrick: The only question is: did you take his room as soon as he left, or did he leave because you took his room?
Jeremy: You're in my personal space, please step back.

Judge: What's the story, Mr. Odenthal?
ADA: Your Honor, ahem, Mr. Jane did enter Mr. Sylvan's residence, but only because he feared there was an intruder inside.
Dana: You mean one besides himself?

Patrick: How's the roundup going?
Teresa: Haibach wouldn't come with me. I think he's hiding something.
Patrick: Well, a guy like that probably takes issue with lady police. Ladies in general.
Teresa: You're right. You know what? I'll send Cho and Rigsby.
Patrick: Or not. Would the world really miss him if something happened?
Teresa: And that's the difference between you and me.

Teresa: We need to question everybody Rigsby interviewed at the NLP Center, and anyone else he talked to.
Kimball: It has to be Dr. Daniel, right? He's the only one with the chops to do this.
Teresa: Plus, he lied about sleeping with the victim.
Patrick: No, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why would he want Rigsby to smack his own face into a table?
Kimball: Although, why would anyone else want Rigsby to smack Daniel's face into a table?
Patrick: My guess? The smacking of the face into the table, unintended side effect of a deeper hypnotic command.
Teresa: Command to do what?
Patrick: There's the rub. Let's find out.

Jason: Peterson's checked into a hotel just outside Rio Bravo. It's where he worked with Abbott, right?
Teresa: Yeah. Ten years ago.
Jason: I checked his phone record. The only call that stuck out was to a San Antonio Congressman this afternoon. Representative Jules Blatt.
Teresa: I've heard of him. He's a nobody trying to make a name for himself.
Patrick: Well, if he could block Lena Abbott's confirmation, it would buff his reputation in certain circles, wouldn't it?
Teresa: Well, how would Peterson going to Rio Bravo help that?
Patrick: I don't know. The hearings start in four days, so if Peterson wants to make trouble, now is the time to do it.

Victor: The body was still warm. So I guess the time of death was a good hour before anyone found him.
[the victime groans and sits up]
Victor: WHAT THE HELL?
Patrick: Guess again.

Teresa: [Referring to Bosco] How could you know what he would want? You don't even know him!
Patrick: But you do. If he had to suffer pain to stop Red John, he would do that. You know he would. You know that!

Patrick: I mean, no offense, but you have no dishonesty in you.
Teresa: I Have Dishonesty in me. I can put up a front.

Kimball: Hypnosis? Great plan.
Patrick: No, that would be silly. Hypnosis is illegal. That was a misdirect so that I could search his jacket pockets, and find this.
Kimball: [Jane opens his hand] A button, fluff, and some sand?
Patrick: Yeah. It's a little anticlimactic Um... do you have an evidence baggie?
Kimball: [standing to leave] You're walking home.

ADA: I'm not the one who got the murder weapon tossed.
Patrick: Court is theater. Whatever side has the best liar wins. Usually, that's you, but today she was better.
ADA: You're an arrogant little bastard.

Patrick: I just - I hope that one day you will uh, forgive me. And maybe one day, I'll forgive myself.
Danny: Forgive you?
Patrick: Not for my sake, for yours. Because hating me is just a waste of your energy. It's pointless. Just - move on. Drop it. Find something to love.

Teresa: My father used to have blackouts when he drank. One time, he beat my brother half to death, and he... he didn't remember a thing. The whole way to the hospital, he couldn't believe it was him who did it.

Teresa: I wanna get Harry Lashley's killer as much as you do. But we cannot go after Arlov. The State Department...
Patrick: A fig to the State Department.
Wayne: I agree. Screw 'em.
Teresa: That attitude is why *I'm* in charge and you guys aren't.

Dennis: Where is he?
Teresa: If you're asking about Jane, I don't know. Did you check upstairs?
Dennis: Yeah. You know, maybe you haven't heard; about an hour ago, Gale Bertram killed a cop at a gas station in east Sac.
Teresa: I heard.
Dennis: Did you hear what Bertram was doing at the gas station?
Teresa: No.
Dennis: Using a pay phone. Guess who he was calling.
Teresa: I'm gonna guess Jane.
Dennis: Ah. Yeah. So where is he?
Teresa: I don't know.
Dennis: I think you do.
Teresa: I can't help what you think.
Dennis: I think your boyfriend is colluding with a dangerous fugitive. I think he is up to his neck in this Blake Association craziness, and probably you are, too.
Teresa: I'm not. He's not. Jane can't help who calls him. And he is not my boyfriend.
Dennis: It's a damn shame, Teresa. By all accounts, you were a good cop.
Teresa: I still am.

Patrick: [after the chamber door opens] That wasn't meant to happen was it? Uh oh!
[Runs out]

Kimball: What's up?
Jason: Some surprise, huh? I didn't see the wedding thing coming.
Kimball: Wasn't that hard to guess
[Awkward silence]
Kimball: Something on your mind?
Jason: No
[Cho looks at him]
Jason: Actually, yes. Someone might get in touch with you about me requesting a transfer. I just wanted you to hear it from me first.
Kimball: Transfer where?
Jason: Salt Lake. Office there is starting a cyber crime initiative. It's desk work, but... more my speed, I think.
[pause]
Jason: Let's face it, I didn't do that well when we were going after Keller. It's not easy being in the bullpen, Michelle's desk is right there, and... anyway, I think a change of pace will be good. Plus, you're going to be rebuilding the team, this'll pretty much give you a blank slate.
Kimball: Come here.
Jason: What?
Kimball: Come here.
[Wiley crosses the room to stand next to Cho. Cho smacks him round the back of the head]
Jason: Ow!
Kimball: Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Jason: I'm not!
Kimball: You are. You made some mistakes going after Keller? Welcome to the club. I bat 300 on a good day. You miss Vega? Then remember who she was. She'd never run from a challenge like this and neither should you.
[sighs]
Kimball: And you're right, I have to rebuild the team, and I want to start with people that I know and trust. So stick around.
Jason: Or what, you'll hit me again?
Kimball: I'm asking you to stay, Wylie.

Wayne: So, what were you planning to do if Lisbon hadn't stopped him?
Patrick: Oh, I didn't bother to formulate. I - I knew she'd stop him.

Patrick: I'm not under a curse.
Red: Doomed to an angry endless search for a vengeance you will never have. I would call that a curse, wouldn't you?
Patrick: I look at it more as a hobby. And I will have that - vengenance!
Red: Vengeance - on what? Look at me. I'm just a regular guy. But you thought I'd have horns. Frightened? I'm not a monster. I'm not a devil - just another human being with flaws and vices and problems just like anybody else. Forget about me. I'm not worth ruining your life over.
Patrick: Wherever you go you disillusional freak, I will find you and I will kill you. And then - *then* will forget about you.

Wayne: Ah, the Hustler returns. Lisbon says you won a whole bunch of money.
Patrick: Oh, I didn't do too badly.
Wayne: How much did you win?
Patrick: About $250,000.

Teresa: You think this is terrorists?
Dennis: Well, we can't rule it out.
Patrick: Well, I think we can. Someone just wanted the dead guy dead.
Dennis: And why do you think that?
Patrick: Because he's dead. I mean, look at this place. Bomber could of killed a dozen people if he wanted to. But, nope, this guy just bumped off one. Pretty ineffective terrorism, if you ask me.

Joe: You just cannot escape the sins of the past. All you can do is ask the Lord's guidance and and keep on man.

Ray: I'm not afraid of Patrick Jane.
Teresa: Then what's the problem with showing up?
Ray: If I do this, will you and Jane drop the whole "that I'm Red John" business?
Teresa: For once and for all.
Ray: What time?
Teresa: Eight o'clock.
[he stands to leave]
Teresa: I'm not done. There's one more thing that I need.
Ray: You're killing me here.
Teresa: Stiles.
Ray: Yeah?
Teresa: Where is he?
Ray: I can't help you.
Teresa: Come on, Ray. You've been with Visualize for years. I don't want to arrest him. I just want to talk to him. You do this, and I will owe you. And in your line of work, sooner or later, you're gonna need a favor.

Bob: Do you have siblings, Jane?
Patrick: No.
Bob: I had a twin brother, Michael. We were very close growing up.
Patrick: I hear that's a strong bond.
Bob: Our father was a sadistic drunk. Beat the crap out of us, and our mother. Beat her until she couldn't take it anymore.
Patrick: She left?
Bob: Yeah, with a razor blade. After that, it was just me and Michael. I was all he had.
Patrick: You were the stronger one.
Bob: Yeah. I grew up, I got away, but Michael couldn't do it. He stayed at home and watched our father drink himself to death.
Patrick: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Bob: You're right. Michael turned to the bottle. Drank like his life depended on it. I paid for treatments, I took him to meetings; nothing worked.
Patrick: Until?
Bob: Until one day he met someone. A man who could help him.
Patrick: More than a man. A savior.
Bob: Yeah. Red John. He only asked for a few simple things in return.
Patrick: Devotion and sacrifice.
Bob: Michael drifted further and further away, 'till one day he was gone. I never saw him again.
Patrick: You think Red John killed your brother.
Bob: Yes. I never found him, but in my heart, I know.
[heavy sigh]
Bob: Look at me blab. I... you're not my therapist. I didn't bring you here to talk. Please tell me who the suspects are.
Patrick: No.
Bob: Have it your way.
[picking up a pair of gardening shears and advancing on Jane]
Bob: You understand I'm gonna have to torture you?

Wayne: Smith could be anywhere by now.
Grace: Yeah, I tried to trace the GPS signal in his cell phone, but it's been dead for hours.
Wayne: No, a dirty FBI cop like him, he's bound to have a burner.
Grace: Dr. Lavrov said he didn't get a chance to sew Smith up. He's still walking around with a bullet wound.
Wayne: So he's in a bad way wherever he is.
Grace: He'll get picked up by someone eventually.
Wayne: Yeah, but any cop who finds him...
[he stops talking as another agent approaches; taking a nearby file, the agent then leaves]
Grace: This is scary. We can't trust anyone.
Wayne: Nope.

Teresa: Showing the Dovertons to Donny Culpepper. You wanted to see if he recognized one of them, didn't you?
Patrick: You watch too much TV. I just thought there was no reason for Donny Culpepper to be here.
Teresa: Now that's just annoying. You're not putting any effort into the lie.

Patrick: Morning, Chief.
[Taking note that the chief is giving a parked car a ticket]
Patrick: Trapping those tourists early?
Chief: Permit-only spot, clearly posted. They can get it out of impound if they have Two Hundred dollars. That's the law.
Patrick: There's no tyranny like petty tyranny.
[walking past]
Chief: Excuse me?
[the chief looks up at him]
Patrick: You heard me.
Chief: Where you going?
Patrick: Research library.
[Pointing at a building]
Chief: That's the bar.

Lena: You're sure he has the evidence?
Dennis: Sure enough. Look, baby, I am so sorry. I should have told you everything.
Lena: Don't say that.
Dennis: No, no, no. It's my fault. I really let you down.
Lena: Do not say that. You don't have to apologize. Not to me. Not to anyone. That this person would try to bring you down makes me so angry. This is simple. I'll withdraw my name.
Dennis: No.
Lena: I don't want the job if this is what it takes to get it.

Security: Uh, I need to see the warrant first though. It's uh, it's protocol.
Kimball: There is no warrant. Ask me why.
Security: Why?
Kimball: Because every member of our unit is suspended because of this killing here and two other people we killed this week.
Security: Wow. That's a rough week. I guess I can... run you off a copy.

Patrick: Look, I'm sorry by the way.
Teresa: For what? There's a long list of possibilities.
Patrick: Well, it's just a general apology. Use it for your top issue.
Teresa: Thanks.

Teresa: [to Bosco] You know what? Jane's not the problem. *You* are. You're so stuck on the idea that he's not a cop that you can't see what he is. You know how many cases he's closed for us? You think he's giving me bad habits? I think he's made me a better cop.

Teresa: You're never gonna guess where he grew up.
Patrick: Then I won't even try.
Teresa: Vineland, California.
Teresa: How did you do that?
Patrick: I followed your lips.

Teresa: You coming?
Grace: He's not feeling well. Stomach.
Wayne: I'm fine.
Teresa: You get me sick, I'm gonna put you stakeout for a month.

Chief: Do you have any actual facts?
Patrick: Well, it's an actual fact that you dislike Mr. MacLean here because he's a tree-hugging, liberal wacko, who's probably running some kind of a cult, and he dislikes you because you're a small-minded provincial hayseed. Not that you are, necessarily. That's just what he thinks.

Bret: You've killed, haven't you? Someone who mattered to you, who hurt you. Did you enjoy it?
Grace: No
Bret: Really? I'm told it gives the feeling of great perspective, like waking from a dream.
Grace: It changes you.

Sheriff: If what we have here is a homicide, I'm gonna need some help.
Teresa: Just to be clear, except in special circumstances, we don't help out. We take over. You need to be okay with that.
Sheriff: Okay I guess.
[Lisbon leaves]
Patrick: She's not really a morning person. She'll improve.

Dennis: Thank you all for coming in. An hour and a half ago, two agents were attacked by a man who we believe is responsible for ten murders in the past year.
[showing traffic cam footage of said attack]
Dennis: This man. Agent Richard Tork is in the hospital. I've been told that's he's gonna be all right. Patrick Jane, however, has been abducted by this man and is still being held. So as of right now, no one goes home. No one takes a nap or a coffee break until Patrick Jane is returned and this man is arrested.

Grace: [after Rigsby kisses Van Pelt under hypnotic suggestion] Well, unhypnotize him.
Patrick: You sure?
Grace: Do it!

Patrick: Mr Wolcutt! It's about your wife's lover. We know about the two hundred thousand dollars she gave him, and we know that you know about it.
Claire: How dare you?
Patrick: How dare I? Did I do something daring? Am I supposed to be afraid of you?
Claire: You're supposed to be respectful.
Patrick: Respectful - you contemptible little buffoon. Your wife just died, and you're swanning around in a monkey suit, drinking punch and laughing with your idiot friends. You want respect?
[Flicks Wolcutt's nose]
Patrick: There's your respect.

Lydia: Do you recall the day of McAllister's death?
Patrick: I do - big day. I had been chasing the man for eight years. Any of you know what it's like to be driven by a moral imperative?
[to various members of the jury]
Patrick: You do. And you. And you do. You all have strong jaw muscles.It's a sign of strength and character.
[to an older juror]
Patrick: You - I'm not so sure. Your eyes are a tad close to each other.

Gabriel: There's a thing inside of you. It's eating you. A thing that's lingered in your mind for many years.
Patrick: It's called the Human Condition.

Luther: We'll arrest Henry Tibbs on a felony weapons charge, then we can insist on counseling.
Kimball: What happens in a couple months when he hits the streets?
Luther: He reports to parole.
Grace: We all know who effective that is.

Teresa: Wolcutt is on his way down here with a thousand dollar an hour lawyer. If you give him a formal apology, he says he's willing to drop the whole matter.
Patrick: Hmm, let me think... No.
Teresa: Would you please be reasonable for once?
Patrick: I'm busy.
Teresa: Right.
Patrick: I am. I'm just thinking that, uh... he's gonna drop the whole matter in any case.
Teresa: Oh, really?
Patrick: I guarantee it. He's a shallow narcissist. It's all about image. And this whole business makes him seem small and silly.
[Lisbon flicks his nose and storms off]

Floyd: Police aren't you?
Patrick: How'd you know?
Floyd: Police and fine women always think they got a right to be where they at. You ain't no fine woman.

Lydia: In a moment, I'll open the floor up to you so you can provide a narrative of events to explain what you were doing and where you were on the date and time of Thomas McAllister's murder.
Patrick: Objection. You said murder. Thomas McAllister may have shot and strangled himself.

Ben: [as he's being arrested] I didn't know you were cops.
Kimball: What? You thought we were selling magazine subscriptions?

Kim: You really think you can get him to take out a hit on you in one night? Usually, only people who know you want to kill you.

Patrick: Lisbon. Good. We're going to Napa. You drive.
Teresa: [he hands her a sheet of paper] Homicide bulletins?
Patrick: Hot off the press. A John Doe in a duck pond awaits.
Teresa: Well, that sounds like a case for local authorities.
Patrick: Bingo.
Teresa: [realizing his ulterior motive] Napa. Okay, wait a minute. That's Sheriff McAllister's jurisdiction. You want to go and investigate a Red John suspect.
Patrick: Investigating is your thing. I'd just like to get to know him a little better. Shall we?

Drew: [Referring to a key Jane is holding] I wonder what it opens.
Patrick: Oh, I know what it opens.
Drew: What?
[Jane mimes keeping his mouth closed]
Teresa: He's just messing with you. He's mean like that.

[last lines]
Patrick: Rosalind, where's Roy?
Rosalind: Roy couldn't stay.
FBI: [noticing a pool of blood nearby] Jane.
[opening a closet, they find a dead body wrapped in plastic]
FBI: It's the morgue attendant. You still gonna try and tell me Red John is dead?

Steve: [Steve's holding a knife to Andy's throat] Seems Andy over here was a little mad over the last time we crossed paths. Wanted to fist fight. Only I don't do fist fights. They're a waste of time. Right, Andy?
Andy: Le me go. Please?
Wayne: Just put the knife down. Let me handle this.
Steve: The Hell with that!
Wayne: Dad, nobody needs to get cut, and nobody needs to get shot. Just put... the knife... down.

Teresa: Bad karma doesn't have an expiration date.
Patrick: Uh, actually it does. According to traditional Buddhist teachings, I'm counting on it.

Patrick: Life is a million to one. The universe is one big coincidence. Cosmically improbable coincidences happen all the time. We just don't notice them all.
Kimball: Or she's a witch.

Teresa: It's okay. She's gone.
Patrick: Who's gone?
Teresa: Oh please, your guilty conscience is obvious and well deserved.
Patrick: Man. Justice can be a harsh mistress.

Patrick: Oh, damn, I forgot something. I'll meet you there.
Teresa: Wait, forgot what?
Patrick: Uh, my uh, frumbahollymorgansterning.

Teresa: If you knew it, why didn't you tell us?
Patrick: It's an exaggeration. I had a strong hunch. If I told you about every hunch, you'd get very irritated.

Madeleine: She likes you, that one.
Patrick: Which one?
Madeleine: The blonde one.
Patrick: What?
Madeleine: And you like her.
Patrick: Wha?I'm not so sure I know where this is headed.
Madeleine: You know exactly where this is headed. Do you ever consider dating again?... Do you?

Patrick: Cale Sylvan is a dangerous psychopath, and he killed Kelly Flower.
Teresa: Oh? How's that?
Patrick: He had access. And he looked evil.

Ray: [over a body] Jane? Any thoughts?
Patrick: Yeah. The years teach us patience; the shorter our time, the greater our capacity for waiting
CBI: Pretty deep. The Buddha?
Patrick: Elizabeth Taylor. This man is dead. I'm all but certain of it

J.J. LaRoche: What were you thinking? Because of your actions, Donald Culpepper cannot stand trial
Teresa: I'm sorry, frustration at the job
J.J. LaRoche: Your apology is of no import
Patrick: Come on, did he steal anything?
[Lisbon glares at him]
J.J. LaRoche: [to Lisbon] A week suspension is mandatory and six months of anger management
Patrick: Oh!
[spins around in his chair]

Patrick: Hey, um, sorry about the whole jail thing. But you did take a bunch of people hostage.
Ron: I don't care. Jail doesn't mean anything to me now.
Patrick: Yeah, well, we'll see how you feel about that in a couple years
Ron: I'll be fine. I can breathe again. Thank you.

Teresa: Hi. We need to speak with Buddy Hennings.
Receptionist: If you want to be on the show, you have to fill out this form and take it to couples-intake.
Teresa: Oh, we're not a couple. Please.
Patrick: What she means is ours is more of a platonic love.

Elspeth: Rubbish! When someone tell you something contrary to fact, they are lying! Full stop!

Teresa: You're not wearing your wedding ring.
Patrick: I'm not married.

Patrick: Sorry. She's a little cranky. New boss coming.
Teresa: Enough with that!

Virgil: [to Jane] Congratulations. You finally got her to drink the Kool Aid.
[to Lisbon]
Virgil: Check yourself Agent.
[to the team]
Virgil: All of you.

Patrick: It's funny what bad liars cops are. They're not used to concealing themselves under questioning.
Teresa: I'm a cop. I lie to you all the time. You never catch it.
Patrick: I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you're translucent, my dear. I always know when you're lying. Sometimes I let you think you fool me just so you don't feel bad.

James: I know what you're doing. You think I'm stupid.
Patrick: Yes.
James: You're not going to ruin this for me.

Patrick: Everything turned out exactly as we planned.
Teresa: I know.
Patrick: No one was hurt.
Teresa: I know.
Patrick: Well, except the bad guy, of course, but he was an assassin.
Teresa: I understand, mission accomplished. But in the middle of our mission, you directed me to go somewhere that had nothing to do with the mission.
Patrick: Yeah, I was concerned about your safety.
Teresa: You don't get it.
Patrick: I don't get what?
Teresa: I'm an FBI agent.
Patrick: Uh, I think I do get that.
Teresa: No, I don't think you do.

ADA: I had a confession. I had video. I had an airtight case. And it's all out. How could you break into his place?
Patrick: Easy. The lock on the back door is very flimsy.

Teresa: It's good that you spend time with your dad, but you should do other stuff, too. Kid stuff.
Annabeth: Why? I already know what I want to do.
Teresa: Really? What's that?
Annabeth: I'm gonna be a cop, like you.
Teresa: I'm flattered. I am. But I don't think you really know what you want yet. You don't have to. It's okay.
Annabeth: Yeah, I do.
Teresa: I sleep five hours a night. I haven't been able to get away to see you and your dad and your uncles in over a year. That's not what you want.
Annabeth: Aunt Teresa, you get paid to carry a Glock. You beat up people when they get out of line. You're totally badass.
Teresa: My point still stands.

Teresa: [watching Risgby question a suspect] What do you think?
Patrick: Well, all cruelty stems from weakness, and this one's a quivering mass. Emotionally immature. Aggressively masculine. He harbors childhood pain tied to bedwetting or some similar humiliation. Yeah, he could be our killer, too.
Teresa: You're not making this easy.

Patrick: Was she dating anyone?
Wilson: A social life - Martha? No. She had a cat.
Patrick: [Picking up a picture of a cat] Ah yes.
Wilson: But it died.
Patrick: Right.

Frank: [referring to Jane] Who is this guy?
Teresa: He's a pain in the ass. But he's making sense. You sure you don't want to change your story?

Madeleine: I'm not angry.
Patrick: Sure you are. Letting it out will be helpful, I guarantee. Shout. Scream. Hit something - preferably not me. It'll do you wonders.

Walter: Can't believe I'm a one night stand for Dirty Harry.
Teresa: Yeah, well, I'd leave you cab fare, but you've probably got that covered.

Patrick: [arriving at a crime scene] Morning, everybody! How was your flight?
Teresa: Go away. You're on suspension.
Patrick: [paying his cabbie] Thank you.
[catching up with the team]
Patrick: Mandated leave. Ends next week.
Teresa: So come back next week.
Patrick: Whew. Hot enough for you?
Teresa: Which one of you jackasses told him? It was you, wasn't it, Cho?
Kimball: Yes, it was.
Patrick: Of course he called me. It's Red John. You can't keep me out of this. Why would you want to?
Teresa: You got a man killed. There's consequences.

Wayne: My dad was a biker.
Kimball: Really? I didn't know that.
Wayne: No? I thought you read my file.
Kimball: Well, it says he was a big time criminal, didn't specify any affiliations.

Patrick: Do you know a full grown elephant can eat up to 495 pounds of food per day?
Teresa: Could you at least pretend to be helping?

Wardell: Hey, easy there. That's antique Mexican Silver.
Teresa: Maybe next time you'll think before trying to outrun an officer of the law.
[Holding up a bag]
Teresa: I'm assuming this isn't candy. Why were you meeting Scarlett Marquesa?
Wardell: So we could exchange beauty secrets.

Adrianna: [Jane enters interrogation] The handsome one. Gay, yes?

Patrick: In the future, I hope your love life is a little more peaceful. And if it's not, and the next lover turns out dead again, do me a favor? Don't call me.

Kimball: "Kimball", she says, "you shall kneel before the lord of beasts".
Wayne: That's scary.
Kimball: Yeah.
Wayne: ...If you're a 12 year old girl at her first sleep-away camp.
Kimball: You had to be there.

Teresa: What the Hell was that? Are you insane? And where did you come up with that stupid ass diamond theory?
Patrick: I don't know what came over me. I see that man, I get an immediate urge to wind him up.
Teresa: He's the Director!
Patrick: I'm sorry. He amuses me.

Jessie: Miss Hill killed Gabe? Why?
Teresa: There was political stuff going on. But I think mostly your brother just wanted you to be happy, and to get out.
Jessie: I don't know what to do.
Teresa: We were going through your brother's laptop, and we found some videos that he'd made for you.
[she sets the computer in front of Jessie]
Teresa: Kind of like letters. I thought you might like to see one.
Gabe: [the video file plays] Happy birthday, sis. I hope it's a good one. I don't know if you'll ever see this, but I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you. I miss you so much, sis. I know we don't agree about some things, but, uh... I hope you know that I'm always here for you. Any time, I'll be waiting. See you soon, I hope.
Jessie: [Lisbon stops the video] Are there more of these?
Teresa: Yeah. There's a whole lot of them.
Jessie: Would it be okay if I stayed to watch a few?
Teresa: You can stay as long as you'd like.

Teresa: Hey Jane, could I trouble you for a professional opinion?
Patrick: [Jane examines the body] No.
Teresa: No what?
Patrick: This isn't the actual Santa Claus.
Teresa: Oh really?

Teresa: What do we got?
Grace: Jim Gulbrand, CEO and founder of the software company Gaia Matrix was reported missing by his live-in brother yesterday. Local P.D. responded to the call, but they didn't check the boat until this morning. They found blood on the deck, but no sign of a body.
Teresa: Why is it ours?
Grace: The marina is privately owned, all leased by the city of Sausalito. It was local P.D.'s decision whether or not to take the case.
Teresa: High-profile missing persons case. Wonder why they wouldn't take that.

Madeleine: [to Jane who is lying on his couch in the CBI] So I just talked to judge Fitzwilliam.
Patrick: And?
Madeleine: And she says that if you will apologize for your cavalier manner with which you disrupted here mother's burial she will not pursue disciplinary action against you or Lisbon or myself.
Patrick: Hm. Tell her Jane says she's a self-righteous, embittered old bat and she should thank me.
Madeleine: Oh, God, Jane. Please.
Pauline: You're right, Mr. Jane.
[Jane surprised by Pauline's presence rises up and is now sitting on his couch]
Pauline: I came here for an apology. But I realize now that I was wrong standing on my dignity. I am embittered. And your arrogant, callous, juvenile behavior did reveal the truth, after all. So thank you. Thank you very much.
[Pauline is turning over to Madeleine Hightower]
Pauline: Good evening to you.
Madeleine: Good evening.
[Pauline is turning around and leaving]
Patrick: [to Pauline] Sorry.
[turning over to Madeleine Hightower and rising up]
Patrick: Okay then. Everyone's happy.
[Jane is planting a slight kiss on Hightower's cheek and leaving]

Patrick: I know you're drug dealers. I don't judge. I'm wanted for homicide myself in the US.

Patrick: By the way, looks like there's something in his left front pant pocket.
Coroner: [Steiner removes the note and reads it aloud] "You're about to think 'What the Hell? How did Jane - do that?"
[pause. To Jane]
Coroner: How did you do that?

Patrick: I'm guessing by your look that you just talked to Peterson. I'm listening.
Dennis: I worked for him about ten years ago, when he was running the task force from the border. Rio Bravo station. We were working with the Mexican police, trying to do something about the cartels.
Patrick: Tough work.
Dennis: It was war. The Zeta cartel would send their men out dressed like soldiers. They would wait for abus to come through, stop it, force all the passengers off, then shoot them. All of them. Just so they didn't work for another cartel. There are bodies everywhere; men, women, children. Scattered all over the road like trash.
Patrick: Yeah, it's... it's no picture that anyone should have in their head.
Dennis: And one day, I was sitting on a, uh, a Zeta safe house, just watching who came and went. Gathering intel. And I saw this Zeta commander walk out.
Patrick: Dressed in a military uniform.
Dennis: And I knew what he was gonna do. I couldn't call the local police because they were terrified of the Zetas. I couldn't arrest him. So I sat there, thinking for, I don't know, maybe three seconds. I got out of my car, I walked across the street, and I shot him.
Patrick: Well, you... you did the right thing.
Dennis: I don't know. But no buses were stopped that night. And the next day, I quit the Rio Bravo station.
Patrick: Did Peterson know what you'd done?
Dennis: He guessed. The death of a commander hit the news. Tons of speculation on who killed him, and Peterson knew where I was when it happened.
Patrick: Hmm. And now he's threatening you to do what he says.
Dennis: Peterson can end my career. I can go to prison. But it's not just about me. Any mention of this can end things for Lena before it even starts.
Patrick: Well, you can't let him do it.
Dennis: I appreciate the thought. How do we stop him?
Patrick: I'm not sure. Yet. But when I know, I'll tell you the answer.

Teresa: When I saw you last year, you were building decks with Eddie Duncan.
Tommy: Well, nobody wants a deck when the bank's at the door, 'Reese. I took a course in April. Tig Muldoon, Margot's cousin, he's a bondsman. He gave me a shot. I brought in six guys in the past two months; made, like, four grand.
Teresa: Tommy. Tommy.
Tommy: Oh, don't even start with that.
Teresa: With what?
Tommy: Busting my chops like you always do, like I don't know what I'm doing.
Teresa: Well, you don't.
Tommy: I know what I'm doing. I'm a professional.
Teresa: [sarcastic] Oh, right. Taking your thirteen year old daughter along with you as backup, that's very professional.

Teresa: What'd he say?
Patrick: He wants to meet with me.
Teresa: It's a trap.
Patrick: Probably.
Teresa: What are you gonna do?
Patrick: I'm gonna meet him.
Teresa: You can't.
Patrick: Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
Teresa: Jane, don't do this. Think about it. The FBI is gonna get Bertram soon enough.
Patrick: I don't want the FBI to get him. You knew this day was coming. It's here.
Teresa: Well, let me come with you.
Patrick: No. I don't want you involved.
Teresa: Involved? I am involved!
Patrick: Not anymore. I'm gonna need to borrow your gun.
Teresa: My gun?
Patrick: Yes, your gun. I'm not gonna use it; it's just a prop. Teresa, trust me, please. Just trust me.

Kimball: Mr. Randolph, rest assured there is no intent to persecute you. We scumbags are holding your brother because we have evidence linking him to the crime, and potential motive in that he states that whenever you weren't around, he was banging your wife like a big bass drum.

ADA: You let a killer back on the streets.
Patrick: Actually, I got the killer off the streets. Keeping him off the streets, *your* job.

Patrick: My name's Patrick Jane. I'm here to find out who killed your mother.
Isabel: Good. Kill them please.
Patrick: I wish I was allowed to do that. You know you should probably step away from your computer. Do you have any friends nearby?
Isabel: I want to be with my mother.

Patrick: What's troubling you, Fisher?
Deputy: What? Nothing. What are you talking about?
Patrick: That button made your pupils dilate, now you've gone pale. What's up, Fisher? What's troubling you?
Deputy: Well... it occurred to me that the button could stand for Beckworth, and I got a little chill. That's all.
Teresa: Who's Beckworth?
Deputy: Walter Beckworth. He was the original owner of this house. Built it. Died eighty-something years ago. People say he haunts the place. I've heard the story since I was a kid, but nobody believes 'em.
Patrick: Right.

Patrick: I just assumed you took that judge and jury stuff with a grain of salt.
Teresa: Well, you assumed wrong. No salt.
Patrick: You know the reality will be different. Red John is mine. And I will exact my revenge on him.
Teresa: I think when the time comes, you'll see that violence is not the answer.

Young: You know you're always saying, when you're working strong, work strong be brave. Well, I was working strong and I was right.
Alex: No, there is no "right" if there's no payoff. This is show business, not show art.

Teresa: You need to understand the reality of what's going on, Willie. The DA will put you in prison.
Willie: I'm old - tired of sleeping in alleys. I ain't go no place to go. Prison's some place.
Teresa: Lethal injection's part of the vacation package. You'll get 3 hots and a cot just for stealing off a dead body. What do you say we come clean on this? Keep you alive.

Kimball: When did you get those burn scars on your arms?
Mitchell: Engine blew up on me, while I was working on it. Why do you ask?
Kimball: Just curious. Is that your own hair?
Mitchell: Excuse me?
Kimball: On your head. Is that yours or are you wearing a wig?
Mitchell: No, it's my own hair.
[to Risgby]
Mitchell: What kind of a question is that?
Kimball: Mind if we check?
Mitchell: Yes, I d-
[Cho pulls Reese's hair]
Mitchell: Ow!
Kimball: Sorry, sir.
Wayne: [mutters] Damn.
[to Reese]
Wayne: Thanks for your time.

Patrick: [sniffs] Mm. I smell dead people.

Virgil: Oh, hi. Lisbon. Still here?
Teresa: Uh, that was more of a rhetorical stand, we were taking back there.
Virgil: You take it back then?
Teresa: Oh no, but I wanted to talk to you...
Virgil: This! The, uhm, the suspension paperwork, right here...
Teresa: Look, I...
Virgil: I have to go and visit my sister in Hawaii for a week. She's sick. Meanwhile, this paperwork is going to sit on my desk. For a week. Is that clear? One week.
Teresa: Yes sir! Thank you...
Virgil: Yes... Be very grateful. Do not contact me, I do not want to know anything. And please, do not dig the hole that you are standing in any deeper than you have already dug it.
Teresa: No sir.
Virgil: That hole is the grave of your very promising career.
Teresa: You should put a flash light underneath your chin, just to complete the effect.
Virgil: I'm not kidding.
Teresa: I know.

Wayne: Why are we here? We don't know if it's a murder.
Teresa: One of the chefs called her daddy who's a state senator, who called the AG, who called the assistant AG, who called me. So we're here. I hate politics.

Patrick: Well, it's a big secret, well kept.
Wayne: Maybe you knew, but nobody else did.
Kimball: I knew. Half the building knows.
Wayne: They do not!
Kimball: Yes they do.
Patrick: The only person who didn't know is glaring at you right now.
Teresa: *Now* I have to do something about it.

Patrick: That was pure luck. Admit it.
Kristina: If you say so.
Patrick: Oh, I know so. Dead are dead. You can't talk to them.
Kristina: Yet I do.

Grace: I've learned about myself as well as about other people. Stuff I wish I didn't know sometimes.
Mike: Stuff like?
Grace: Why people do bad things do to one another. It's mainly because of secrets. Trying to hide the truth chips away at your spirit. Secrets... ruin relationships.

Madeleine: I guess it's you're way of saying you're unhappy with the way I'm handling Lisbon.
Patrick: We spend a lot of time together. And when she's unhappy, uh, I'm less happy. It's human nature.
Madeleine: Yes, it is. I'll tell you what, Patrick. Why don't you let me handle my business my way, and then judge me by the results, and I'll let you handle yours your way... up to a point.
Patrick: That sounds fair... up to a point. Yeah, very fair. We done?

Grace: [to Rigsby] It's not that I don't like you. I do. It's just - we work together. And there are rules. And if... we were to get together, one of us would have to leave the unit, and I'm junior agent. So that would be me. And this job is so important to me and...
[Rigsby starts snoring]

J.J. LaRoche: It was... interesting - working with you and Jane.
Teresa: I think that's the polite word for what it was. Thanks.

Patrick: Oh please don't look at each other like that.
Teresa: Like what? You can't see.
Patrick: I can feel. I can feel your pity.

Patrick: It's not a deterrent really. It's - it's revenge really. I mean, that's not a criticism, cause I'm all about revenge. I mean revenge can be very productive.

Danny: [at Angela and Charlotte's graves] So, this is it, huh? It's nice. Classy. They'd like it, I guess, if they had a preference.
Patrick: You know, this is the first time I've been here since the funeral.
Danny: Why's that?
Patrick: 'Cause they're not here.
Danny: Hey, who knows for sure? Maybe they're up there right now looking down at us. You know, Annie's saying "Lighten up, you dummies."
Patrick: Yeah, maybe.
Danny: Yeesh. I'm sorry I asked to come. Who knew a trip to the cemetery would be such a downer?
Patrick: Sorry. It's irrational. No reason to be sad. You gonna give 'em those flowers or what?
Danny: [laying his bouquet down on the ground] Guilt is for marks. You know that, right?
Patrick: Yeah.

Victor: The make believe was a bit unorthodox, unpleasant, but - I'm sure you all know what you're doing.
Teresa: Most of the time.

Officer: [for the second time] Licence and proof of insurance
Patrick: I mean is this really necessary? Aren't we all part of the Justice League? Do you think Aquaman would give Batman a ticket?

Patrick: Hi Lisbon.
Teresa: I don't know what game you're playing, but I think you're getting carried away with this Olivier Gans thing.
Patrick: How so?
Teresa: I just got a call from the vice president of something or other of JG Allen Enterprises. They're up in arms about Gans.
Patrick: Really?
Teresa: They think he's trying to steal Turbo Wolf.
Patrick: Well he hasn't yet, but he might soon. We should meet at his hotel.
Teresa: The imaginary man has a hotel?
Patrick: That's right.
Teresa: Is this hotel imaginary too?
Patrick: Oh no, very real. It's, uh, the Vista. In Clearlake. I'll meet you there in an hour. Bye.

Bodhi: You gotta love you, even if you're a total screw-up, right? The greatest love of all. Whitney was right, as usual.

Patrick: You know, I could be my own lawyer.
Kimball: You're going to represent yourself? You represent yourself, you're an idiot.
Patrick: Uh, actually, it's "He who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client". It's much catchier. Could be fun, Cho.

Patrick: No one can know about this. This has to stay between you and me.
Madeleine: Jane, you should at least tell Lisbon what's going...
Patrick: Nobody! He's too smart that way. He'll sense a trap. I'm better off alone.
Madeleine: Nobody is better off alone.

Grace: I don't think it's right to bet on such things. That's a human being that just died!
Wayne: No, it's okay. We're in Nevada. Here in California, yeah, it'd be wrong.
[crosses over to Nevada side]
Wayne: But here, Nevada. It's okay to gamble on body parts.

Dr. Montague: I don't need to conduct an analysis to see that you're still in love with someone else. The probability of us having a successful relationship is no more than 20%.
Wayne: 20%?
Dr. Montague: Tops.

Madeleine: Miss Frye, thank you so much. We couldn't have closed this one without you.
Patrick: Well, that's debatable.
Kristina: You're welcome.
Teresa: Although, I have to say, it looks like the spirits got it wrong. I guess being dead doesn't make you infallible.
Kristina: Well, what do you mean? The killer was caught and justice was served.
Teresa: Sure, but no blood was spilled. Look. He's right there.
Carmen: [walking up to Bigelow and punching him the face] Murderer!
[Cho and the patrol cops pull her off of him]
Patrick: [seeing Bigelow's nose is bleeding] Oh, come on.

Ken: Nice work. I thought you were blowing it back there.
Patrick: Yeah, nice work. You better look after that woman.
Ken: Hey, we will. You have my word.
Patrick: I don't want your word. I want her safe.

Chief: My people can handle this. No problem. California Bureau of Interference is what you are.
Patrick: Interference? That's witty.
Teresa: [Quietly to Jane] Stay out of this.
[to Donner]
Teresa: I'm sure your people are competent, Chief. We're simply following the AG's orders.

Teresa: I have to go to Chicago, find Jimmy, bring him back here.
Patrick: Okay.
Teresa: I should only be gone a couple of days.
Patrick: You know, I can come with you if you want me to.
Teresa: Ah, it wouldn't be any fun for you.
Patrick: Fun's overrated.
Teresa: If you want to come, you can come.
Patrick: Do you want me to?
Teresa: I would very much like it if you came.

Virgil: What does Lisbon think of your theory?
Patrick: I can't tell her. That'd put her at risk.
Virgil: Of course, and what about me?
Patrick: You're a brave old man with nothing to lose.
Virgil: Not so brave. No so old.
Patrick: What do you say? Will you help me?
Virgil: You need a different kind of help. Red John is turning you into a paranoid conspiracy freak.

Teresa: I'll do worse if you don't stop mouthing off to people who are trying to help you!
Patrick: Pinched me!
Kimball: How is he?
Teresa: Guess what? He's a bad patient.
Kimball: Who'd have thought.
Patrick: I'm not a bad patient, she's a bad visitor.

Teresa: What are you? Huh? Crazy?
Patrick: Excuse me?
Teresa: I told you to be careful. I told you not to go over the edge.
Patrick: And I told you not to listen.
Teresa: Don't be childish! I am not your girlfriend. I am an officer of the law. How could I not listen? You kissed her. You offered to help her escape.
Patrick: And I would ask her to marry me if I thought she'd buy it. I was playing her.
Teresa: She's playing you.

Patrick: Oh, this is a problem.
Teresa: Don't you know how to open a safe?
Kimball: Biometrics. We need Peterson's thumbprint to open that.
Teresa: Well, what are we gonna do?
Patrick: Okay, so we go to the backup plan.
Kimball: What's that?
Teresa: We have about forty minutes left.
Patrick: [dialing his phone] If we can't get to Peterson's money, we use our own money.
Teresa: What money?
Patrick: [the line picks up] Uh, Wylie. I need you to get into the evidence room and get us some cash.
Jason: How much?
Patrick: At least a million dollars. Two would be better.
Jason: That's... big. I'm... I'm not sure how I do that.
Patrick: Do your best.

Patrick: You guys didn't answer my question. Did anyone narc on me?

Gale: Look, I think we should meet and talk. Just the two of us.
Patrick: What, like a date?
Gale: [sarcastic laugh, then seriously] Yes. No. Look, the game is over. I'd call it a very honorable tie. And now that it's over, I really think that we should talk. You know, a truce. No weapons, no tricks. Just talk. Then we both walk away.
Patrick: Talk. About what?
Gale: Well, everything. I think we both could use a little closure, don't you? It has be today; you know, now. I'm kind of pressed for time.
Patrick: How do I know I can trust you?
Gale: Oh, don't be timid now, Patrick. I could have killed you many times and I haven't, have I?
Patrick: Okay. When and where?
Gale: Excellent. I'll be at the Fremont Park fountain in half an hour.
Patrick: No. Don't know it. Central bus station. North entrance.
Gale: No, there's too many people. There's too many cops.
Patrick: You know the Alexandria cemetery?
Gale: Of course I do.
Patrick: Yeah, there's a chapel by the western gate.
Gale: That... that'll do. Half an hour. Don't be late. I can't wait around.

Patrick: Funny thing about the list. I... I'd rather not share it with you.
Bob: I get it. It's been your pet project for a long time. Mine, too. But you will share it with me.
Patrick: What if I just give you one name to start? Robert Kirkland.
Bob: Interesting. Makes sense, actually. But it doesn't really help me with my cause, though, does it?
Patrick: No, I suppose not. I was wrong about you. You're not Red John; you're hunting him, same as me.
Bob: Not exactly the same. I'm wiling to kill seven people to get the job done.
Patrick: Touché.
Bob: Why aren't you?
Patrick: 'Cause that would make me a murderer.
Bob: You're planning on murdering Red John. That doesn't make any sense.
Patrick: Okay, so we... we... we both have different approaches, but the important thing here is that we share a common goal. We can help each other if we work together.
Bob: I'm not interested in working together, and I doubt you are, either. We both want our revenge, and only one of us is going to get it.

Patrick: Hey, Lisbon.
Teresa: Where the hell are you? Don't tell me you're at the hospital.
Patrick: I'm not at the hospital.
Teresa: We caught a case. You're needed at the crime scene.
Patrick: I'll be there soon.
Teresa: You're at the hospital, aren't you?
Patrick: You told me to tell you I'm not at the hospital. What do you want? Make up your mind.
Teresa: Get out of there. If Jason Lennon wakes up and if he talks, and if he knows Red John's identity, Agent Kirkland and Homeland Security are perfectly capable of handling it.
Patrick: I disagree.
Teresa: You're playing with fire.
Patrick: There are worse things to play with. Uh, gotta go.

Teresa: Jane, we're officers of the law.
Patrick: You are. I don't care about the law. I care about justice. And justice says Machado deserves to suffer.
Teresa: That's not justice, it's vengeance.
Patrick: What's the difference?

Teresa: Jane sent us a note.
Chief: What's it say?
Teresa: "Hey everybody. Solved the case. Saw an envelope on the Mayor's desk left by Amber. Must be what the killer's looking for. Can't get to it right now. Yours truly - Jane. P.S. Lisbon, I'm not paying the ticket."

Patrick: Problem?
Grace: M.E. puts the time of death between 2 and 3 a.m. Zubov was in his room from the night on. He couldn't be the killer.
Patrick: Eh. It was a non-starter anyhow.
Grace: And Sofia Chavez won't testify against him. We can't even touch the scumbag.
Patrick: World's full of scumbags we can't touch
Grace: I know. I know. It's just...
Patrick: I hear you. It'd soothe your troubled soul if you could just stick it to this particular scumbag.
Grace: Well, yeah. I guess it kind of would.
Patrick: [giving her a look] Shall we?

Kimball: When did you first meet Paul Fricke?
Kara: At a wine-tasting event a friend was throwing.
Kimball: And how long were you and he romantically involved?
Kara: Um... Three, maybe four hours.

Patrick: [as Anne-Marie's running on a treadmill] Hi... Lovely rings.
Anne: Thanks.
Patrick: Expensive, I suspect. Your husband must be very generous.
Anne: Yeah. Do you mind?
Patrick: [pause. Jane starts to leave then returns] Just, uh, one more thing. Markus Kuzmenko - more of a gentle lover or a brute?
[Anne-Marie gasps, stumbles and falls on the treadmill]

Luther: Hi. I've read everyone's file, so I kind of know --
[pointing at Patrick]
Luther: Patrick Jane. Still making my way through yours.
[Shaking his hand]
Luther: It's a little bit heavier reading.
Patrick: Yeah do me a favor,
[whispering]
Patrick: Don't tell me how it ends.

Madeleine: Patrick, Mr. Stiles here says that you antagonized him and conducted yourself in a way that reflected poorly on the bureau. Do you have anything to say?
Patrick: Uh, no. I'm--I'm good. Thanks.
Madeleine: Okay.
Patrick: Actually, there's one thing I'd like to say.
Madeleine: Is this gonna be helpful, Patrick?
Patrick: Probably not.
Madeleine: Okay, then, there you go. Nice talking with you.
Bret: What? You're--you're kidding, right? That's it?
Madeleine: [smiles] No. Do give my best to Senator Aleman. Is he still seeing that stripper... in Bakersfield?
[pause]
Madeleine: Lovely girl.

Patrick: [to an angry bouncer] Can I hold your hand?

Teresa: Van Pelt's working late. She's a hard worker. She might do well, if she manages not to sleep with Rigsby.

Patrick: [playing foosball] Do you realize this is just a game?
Teresa: I'm not competitive. I just like to win.

Wayne: What do you think of these dating services anyway?
Kimball: No then yes.
Wayne: What?
Kimball: No, I've never used one. And yes, you should.
Wayne: What? Because you're cool and I'm not?
Kimball: Anything to stop you from dating your co-workers.

Teresa: Oh God! Why are you doing this? You were okay. All you had to do was keep your heads down.
Grace: We wanna work for you.
Teresa: ...Let me talk to Jane alone.

Wayne: [Taking a suspect into custody] You think being a cop is stressful? Trying being a cop in prison.

[the team are in the Mojave Desert]
Patrick: [picks up something from the ground] Look at that. Look what I found.
Teresa: What is it?
Patrick: It's a worm. It's a fossilized worm.
Teresa: I'm happy for you.

Kimball: [about the gifts Jane gave to the team] I'm not giving mine back.
Wayne: No way!
Patrick: Tha't my boys. Live it up!

Patrick: You know what gave me second thoughts about Elise Vogelsong? She read too many murder mystery novels.
Teresa: There you go. That's not police work. That's guessing.
Patrick: You should try it sometime. Now I'm gonna pursue Red John. Ciao.

J.J. LaRoche: Whatever happens, I want to thank you for trying to help me.
Patrick: Well, truth is, you're a hard man not to help, LaRoche. You're like a Shar-Pei puppy that's rolled onto its back. You have to rub its belly.
J.J. LaRoche: You're mocking me.
Patrick: No, no, I'm happy to rub your belly.
J.J. LaRoche: That won't be necessary.
Patrick: I hope not.

Marie: You've broken into places, you've got brains, how hard can breaking out be?
Teresa: Hard. But not impossible. On the other side of the wall someone needs to take us out of state or the cops will pick us right up.

Patrick: Bad luck to kill large birds. Unless you eat them. You didn't eat them, did you?
Roddy: Hell, no.
Axel: Ha! But you admit you shot them though.
Roddy: They're vultures, man! Think I'm gonna give up a million bucks over a couple ugly bastards who eat dead people?

Patrick: I have a message from Stiles.
Charles: Hm, what is it?
Patrick: Sorry, it's for the entire Inner Circle.
Charles: You can give it to me. I'll pass it to the other members of the Circle.
Patrick: Yeah, I don't think so. I think I need the whole gang. Light the Bret-Signal. Gather the poo-bahs.

Grace: [finding a flash drive in Bertram's vault] Well, there's only one file on the drive. It's password protected. I'll have to brute force it. Cool. I've been wanting to use my new FPGA.
Kimball: Your what?
Wayne: Trust me. Don't ask.

Teresa: So? What'd you learn?
Patrick: Oh, that was just a control question. The next question I ask him is a critical question.
Teresa: You know what? I don't need my gun. I could just hit you with my chair.
Patrick: Oh, I think you'll find it's bolted to the floor.

Teresa: I knew something was going on with you. What is it?... The absolute truth or I beat it out of you.
Patrick: LaRoche has something I need. So I hired Culpepper to break into LaRoche's house. If I can't get the charges dropped, Culpepper is going to tell on me.
Teresa: ...Oh my God.
Patrick: I know it's bad, Hightower didn't kill anyone,she was framed Red John has a friend inside CBI
Teresa: The Todd Johnson Murder, La Roche shortlisted a few suspects leading to Hightower, that's what you need, the list?
Patrick: There were four names on that list besides Hightower. So one of them is working for Red John.
Teresa: Did you ask LaRoche?
Patrick: LaRoche? No. Because if it's not one of those names, then LaRoche is Red John's man.
Teresa: Why didn't you tell me about this earlier?
Patrick: I didn't want to put you in danger
Teresa: You're an idiot. I will fix this. But we are going to have a *serious* talk after
[she leaves]
Patrick: I've been trying to fix it all week, I even had the perfect escape planned then he decides I want the charges dropped!

Teresa: What about you, Walter? Last year you said you'd do anything for a thrill.
Walter: What do you have in mind?
[Shots are fired at them]
Teresa: GET DOWN!
Patrick: [after the gunfight] Thrilling enough for you, Walter?

Rebecca: Red John says hi.

Pauline: Agent, if my daughter comes to harm because you frittered away your time looking into her personal life, your career is over. Do you understand?
Teresa: Ma'am, I understand your distress during this difficult time, but we'll go wherever this investigation takes us. It's my duty.

Dennis: Dennis Abbott, FBI. You must be Patrick Jane.
Teresa: They've shut us down.
Dennis: We're gonna need to interview you at some point, but it can wait. We're gonna be here for some time. Just don't leave town.
Patrick: We have a killer to catch.
Dennis: Oh, well, that's our problem now. You had your chance to catch him and you blew it. If you were really trying.
[a passing FBI agent bumps into Jane; his teacup falls from its saucer and breaks on the floor]
Patrick: That was my favorite cup.

James: Red John was an accomplished killer, no doubt. And I applaud you for ridding us of him. But there's no comparison to the San Joaquin Killer. Red John was a common sociopath: lazy, sloppy, delusional.
Patrick: You really have no idea what you're saying.
James: Red John is dead! And the fact that he allowed himself to be caught and killed by you proves my point. Compared to SJK, Red John was nothing. An amateur already forgotten.

Teresa: We have to wait for a hit on the BOLO. I hate that.

Patrick: [after working with Hightower] Oh, you mean going out with another woman?
Teresa: Yeah - no. You know what I mean.
Patrick: It was great. It was fun. Intense. Uh, challenging. I think we had a great connection.
Teresa: That's great.
Patrick: What? You a little jealous?
[Lisbon hits Jane with one of her crutches]

Madeleine: [about her children] I hope they weren't too much trouble.
Teresa: Not at all. I have three nearly feral brothers. Kids are sweethearts.

Grace: If you quit now, you're going to miss the best part - payback.
Linda: What are you talking about.
Grace: A few months ago, I had a fiancé who - he tried to kill me.
Linda: You're lying.
Grace: Everybody thought he was the greatest guy - including me... until he pulled a gun.
Linda: What did you do?
Grace: I shot him.
Wayne: Dead.

Patrick: Son staged a coup?
Alexander: Yes. Do you have any idea of the guts it takes to pull that off? Xander proved he could lead. I've never been prouder of him. Proud of... uh, Eddie, too, my other son.

Patrick: We could learn to sail, buy a boat, sail around the world.
Teresa: [sarcastic laugh] Right.
Patrick: What? I've always wanted to do that. A lot of people do it. I mean, we could do it.
Teresa: There's whales and storms and pirates. Scurvy. I mean, besides, I get seasick.
Patrick: You do?
Teresa: Yeah!
Patrick: How badly?
Teresa: Pretty bad.
Patrick: Oh. Well, maybe you get over that.
Teresa: We are not sailing around the world.
Patrick: All right. Beekeeping? Who doesn't like honey?
Teresa: [sarcastic] Oh, you just come up with the best ideas. Beekeeping?
Patrick: Well, I think you'd look very cute in one of those little beekeeping suits.
Teresa: How is that romantic?

Patrick: County fair starts Saturday.
Teresa: So Danny'll be there?
Patrick: Well, no, it's not that simple. But someone there will know where he is.
Teresa: He's a carny like you used to be?
Patrick: "Carny" is a very broad term, Lisbon. Uh... Danny's more show biz, but it... it's been a while.
Teresa: Before last night, when was the last time you talked to him?
Patrick: When I called him to tell him what Red John had done.

Teresa: Let me explain something to you. This is politics. The C.D.C.A. is rich, mean and well connected. The CBI in comparison are like poor orphans. We can't make enemies out of them. We need to cooperate with this man.
Patrick: He irks me.
Teresa: Say it. "I understand."
Patrick: [mumbling] Hmm.
Teresa: Go. Find yourself a vending machine. Buy yourself a candy bar and come back when you're ready to play nice.
Patrick: Give me a dollar and I will.
Teresa: [gives him a dollar] You're paying me back.

Patrick: Catching killers, I enjoy. Being reminded we're just a cog in a petty fascist machine, that is a little depressing.
Teresa: Crime fighting's hard. Suck it up. If you weren't on the witness list, I wouldn't even let you in the same time zone as Judge Dredd.
Patrick: "Judge Dredd"? Can't possibly be as much fun as it sounds.

Patrick: Forget about the Animal Equality League. *We* should firebomb the place, they're putting us out of a job.

Dennis: Jane, could you please just give us a minute?
Patrick: Yeah, I would, but time is short. And I'm guessing each of you is offering to fall on your sword for the other, which is very loving and admirable, but I don't think it'll work.
Dennis: Why not?
Patrick: Because Peterson is ruthless and determined, and he won't stop until he's destroyed both of you. Now, we knew he was gonna make a move like this sooner or later. Now it is time for us to make our move.
Lena: Which is what, exactly? The hearings are in three days.
Patrick: Well, I think I can come up with something if you both want me involved.
Dennis: No. No, this is not your problem.
Lena: Wait a minute. Dennis tells me you have one of the trickiest and most devious minds he's worked with.
Patrick: He did, did he? Oh. Well, I didn't come here to be flattered, but please go on.
Lena: He also says you're his friend, and that he would trust you with his life. Can you really help?
Patrick: I think so.

Patrick: Well you can say it now.
Teresa: Well, I don't really feel like saying it. Let me take a rain check on that.
Patrick: Sure.

Teresa: [Jane has offered to officiate the wedding] You are not legally ordained.
Patrick: Yeah. I've never used it, but I always thought it was a handy thing to have.
Teresa: I don't believe you.
Patrick: I swear. I could marry you off in a minute.
[to a passing CBI agent]
Patrick: Hey, Ron.
[to Lisbon]
Patrick: Don't tempt me.

Duesterberg: This contest, Mr. Jane, is an affirmation of life. It's a testament that appetite still exists even in the face of death.
Patrick: And you need the money.

Patrick: Morning Rebecca.
[Referring to some coffee she's carrying]
Patrick: They look good. One of those for me? You know it's alright to like me. Your boss and I made up.
Teresa: It's okay Rebecca. I don't like him either.
Patrick: She's a liar. She loves me.
Teresa: Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

Virgil: Jane, you close cases. You - you close like a fiend. So I tolerate you and I - I protect you. And I let you make Lisbon's life a misery. But there's - there is -there is a line. And when you cross it, I will protect myself and this unit. And I will throw you to the wolves. Okay?

Patrick: [after the culprits confesses and apologizes] Well, that's okay, then. As long as you're sorry. Maybe we'll just let you go... Kidding.

Kimball: How is that relevant? Looking for someone who doesn't like orange rabbits.
Patrick: Exactly. You know what boys, I like it here.
[Jane finds a spot on the beach]
Patrick: Yeah. I think I'll stay.
Kimball: What?
Patrick: Yeah.
[Jane lies down]
Patrick: Ahh.
Kimball: [to Rigsby] Let's just leave him here.

Kimball: [Cho is talking to Jane on the telephone] We think it might be in a book. There's about 500 books.
Patrick: [On telephone] Are they in any kind of order?
Kimball: [On telephone] Yeah, there's a lot of military history, gaming theory, reference section.
Patrick: [On telephone] Try the Bible or Robert's Rules of Order.
Kimball: [On telephone] OK, thanks.
[Hangs up on Jane and selects Robert's Rules of Order from bookshelf. The CD they are looking for falls out]
Wayne: I don't care what he says. That man is psychic.

Patrick: [speaking to the audience of a high school performance of Shakespeare's "Hamlet"] Thank you, you've been a lovely audience. Sorry we had to close early, but you get the general idea. Pretty much everyone dies. Poisoning. Stabbing. Yeah, it's all very sad. The Scandinavians, huh? Gloomy bunch. Oh, and by the way, don't do anything naughty in the bathrooms. Principal Snyder has hidden cameras in there.
[the audience murmurs and Principal Snyder buries his head in his hand in shame]
Patrick: Illegal? Yes. Immoral? You decide. Good night.
[He bows]

Teresa: What the hell are you doing Hannigan?
Stephen: Boss...
Teresa: I told you to take him downstairs, not beat him up!
Stephen: Sorry, okay? Sorry, I lost it.
Patrick: No, no, it's fine, it's fine. My fault, my fault entirely. I provoked you.
Teresa: God Hannigan, get him some ice!
Patrick: I'm okay, I'm okay. Seriously, it's not his fault. I deserved it, okay?
Teresa: He is supposed to act like a professional law officer all the time. Let's get you some ice, come on
Patrick: Teresa Lisbon. It's a... it's a nice name.

Michelle: We catch a case?
Kimball: Nope.
Michelle: What are you all working on?
Kimball: Nothing.
Michelle: Sure looks like something. Anything I can do to help?
Kimball: Yup. You can hold down the fort out here.
Michelle: Did I do something wrong?
Kimball: No. Just stay out here, okay?

[last lines]
Patrick: [imitating Bosco on the phone] Oh, hi. Sam Bosco here, CBI Major Crimes Program. Question: how do I go about changing my use access passcode? I got strong reason to believe it's been compromised.
[pause]
Patrick: Yeah, great. Sure. Sure, I can hold.
[Jane smiles]

Kimball: Where were you going when you found the victim?
Charlie: I don't speak.
Kimball: In the movies, no. But here in the real world, you speak. You just did.

Teresa: Hey, can you believe he fell for that old cell-phone gag?
Patrick: Old cell-phone gag? I invented that right there and then. Rather brilliantly, I thought.
Teresa: Oh please, I've seen that done a dozen times.
Patrick: What do you mean? Where?.
Teresa: On TV.
Patrick: Oh, on TV. Anything can happen on TV. The question is where have you seen it done in *real* life.

Teresa: What's going on with you? You've been acting strange since this case started.
Patrick: Strange?
[Jane chuckles]
Patrick: Strange how? Strange like
[Jane makes a strange sound]
Patrick: Or
[Jane acts strange. Cho enters]
Kimball: Boss, Rigsby's
[Cho pauses slightly noticing Jane's behavior]
Kimball: got something.

Teresa: Chief Broady's setting up for a full scale search. So we should probably start looking in the woods around the school.
Patrick: Oh, that sounds horribly tedious.
[Starts walking away]
Patrick: Shout if you need me.
Teresa: Go ahead. Relax. Enjoy yourself. God forbid you should do anything tedious.

Wayne: Did I make a fool of myself? Cluck like a chicken. I didn't do Tina Turner, did I?
Grace: No. You were perfectly normal.
[Van Pelt leaves]
Wayne: Oh good. That's relief, eh?
Patrick: Coward!

Kimball: So Jane's right. It was you.
Frank: No!
Kimball: Oh, Frank, don't make me kill you too. Now tell me the truth. You tell me the truth and I won't hurt you.

Patrick: Okay, what's wrong?
Teresa: Why? You must already know.
Patrick: Yeah. I... I took you...
Teresa: You took me off.
Patrick: Mm-hmm.
Teresa: On purpose. You knew that wasn't Lydon on the sixth floor; you had to have, but you sent me there anyway.
Patrick: Yeah, that's right. I wanted to protect you.
Teresa: Protect me?
Patrick: Mm-hmm.
Teresa: I'm an FBI agent.
Patrick: I know.
Teresa: It's my job.
Patrick: I know. I... I'm sorry, but...
Teresa: But... what? You'd do it again?
Patrick: Yeah. I... yup. Probably would.
Teresa: That's the problem.
Patrick: It's not a problem.
Teresa: A really big one. You can't do that. Okay, you have to let me do my job. If you can't...
Patrick: Yeah, I understand.
Teresa: If you can't, I don't know. Like, how to we work together?
Patrick: Well... we work it out.

Patrick: It's nice to be nice. But if you want to get ahead in life, sometimes you have to be a bitch. I know you know how.
Grace: Gee, thanks.
Patrick: It's all about the balance, Grace. Yin, Yang. Nice, bitch. Little bit of bitch inside the nice, a little bit of nice inside the bitch.
Grace: Yeah, I'll work on that.
Patrick: Keep 'em guessin'.

Grace: [to Bret Stiles, who has been playing mind games on her] You're good. Not as good as Jane, but good.

Bret: You're not very happy, are you, Patrick? Perhaps you feel a bit like the sorcerer's apprentice, you've woken up a power that you can't control.

Dr. Fuller: You're a lucky man, Mr. Jane. This could have been much worse.
Patrick: Yes, that's what people keep telling me. But why is it I can't see, doctor?
Dr. Fuller: Well, there's a moderate concussion, with some short-term memory loss. Disorientation, headache, and of course, fleeting blindness. It was most likely due to small floating blood clots in the vessels around the eyes, demonstrating a CVI, or cortical visual impairment.
Teresa: How long will his vision be affected?
Dr. Fuller: Well, that's hard to say, really. The body's healing powers are unpredictable. But 48 to 72 hours is the norm. We must wait and see, so to speak.
Patrick: Ah, humor. Great. Everybody loves a witty doctor in times of trouble. You know, I've heard enough. Do you think you can take this conversation outside, please?
Dr. Fuller: Mr. Jane, this is temporary. Your sight will return and you'll be back to work. But it's gonna take time and patience.
Patrick: Well, time I have and patience I lost a while ago.
Dr. Fuller: You're alive. Appreciate it.
Patrick: Oh, I do. Believe me, I do.

Patrick: [after a trap to catch the killer fails] I was sure the chef would bite. I mean, there's still a chance he could show up.
Teresa: The chef? Malcolm. Why do you think it's him?
Patrick: He uses way too much butter.
Teresa: Say...
Patrick: He's a gluttonous baby. He's self-indulgent. He wants what he wants and he takes it.
Teresa: [skeptical] Too much butter.
Patrick: Yeah.
Teresa: It's fascinating the way your mind works. One thing, though. Malcolm was in the kitchen with twenty people when Melanie was taken. He couldn't have done it.
Patrick: Hang on. There... there... there is a way he could.
Teresa: Forgive me if I can't stay for more of your theorizing, but I've got to go and see if I can save your colleagues from getting formal complaints in their files.

Patrick: There's no business like Cho business!

Chief: I thought that, when I confessed, I would feel a weight lift. I don't feel anything.

Virgil: [Referring to Jane] What were you thinking? Leaving this man alone at an event like that?
Teresa: No excuses. I mistakenly treated him like a responsible adult.

Teresa: You always know what I'm gonna do, huh?
Patrick: Mostly.
Teresa: One of these days I might surprise you.
Patrick: Please don't. I love that you're predictable.
Teresa: [rolls her eyes] Just what a girl wants to hear.
Patrick: What does a girl want to hear?
[asking earnestly]
Teresa: I wish I knew.
[honestly]

Patrick: [at a crime scene] This is Red John.
Teresa: How can you tell?
Patrick: Because when it's him, I can feel it.

Patrick: Now like I say, there's no such thing as psychics. Let's be clear about that. But the human mind is amazingly powerful. It can do things for real that sometimes feel like magic.

Wayne: Can I ask you something? Would you - have you ever read your coworker's personnel files
Grace: [confused] Uh. No. Why?
Wayne: No. Good. Neither did I.

Teresa: You're looking a little creaky.
Patrick: Yeah.
[pause]
Patrick: Well, a cattle prod will do it to you.
Teresa: Well, the doctor says there's no lasting effects.
Patrick: Well. that doctor should try it himself sometime.

Gabriel: Listen man, I'm an artist, okay? I'm arrogant, I'm dishonest and I'm childish. But you know what? I'm not stupid. I do not think I am above the law.

Wayne: [Enters room with weapons drawn. Finds Griswold and Ruger pointing their weapons at each other] Freeze! Drop your weapons!
Teresa: Put your hands on your heads!
[Griswold and Ruger continue to ignore them]
Teresa: Hello?

Teresa: She's a convicted murderer.
Patrick: A convicted manslaughterer, actually.

Janice: How could you be so cold?
Patrick: Practice.

Patrick: [to a prince] Please don't be offended. I-I would've taken your money and given it to a worthy cause. But my friend here is a moralist of childish simplicity. Nice to meet you.
[Jane leaves]

Patrick: Turns out being understood is an underrated pleasure.

Captain: So, Carnac, What does Ivor say? Did he tell you whodunit?

Patrick: When was the last time you saw a doctor's handwriting that you could read?
Teresa: So she's precise. Is that what you're implying?
Patrick: Yes, and the possibility that Dr. Brooke Harper is not a doctor.
Teresa: Because she has penmanship skills?
Patrick: And she doesn't have that cold, creepy, doctor-y vibe they all have
Wayne: Well, to be fair, not all doctors are cold and creepy.
Patrick: First day of medical school, they give you a stack of books and a dead human being. That, I'm afraid, will change you. Brooke Harper was warm and emotional.
Teresa: You like her, so she can't be a doctor?
Patrick: Pretty much.

Teresa: [Rigsby assaults a suspect] Damn it, Wayne, do you understand what you just did?
Patrick: [looking in Rigsby's eyes] Oh, dear.
Teresa: What now?
Patrick: [waving a hand in front of Rigsby's face] No. No, this...
Teresa: No. No way.
Patrick: Yeah, 'fraid so. He's been hypnotized.

Teresa: Is it me, or does it seem like the house slants a little bit to the left?
Patrick: Optical illusion.

Patrick: You really think I would forget your birthday present?
[Lisbon nods]
Grace: [leaving to answer a phone call] Van Pelt.
Patrick: It's on its way!
Teresa: Yeah, right.
Patrick: Little grumpy 'cause I didn't buy you a pony?

Mike: You don't like being asked questions, do you? The team as a whole seems to have a problem with that.
Kimball: Is that a question?

Bret: Red John has her, right? It's a terrible thing. First your wife and child, now Miss Frye. Sounds like he's jealous, Patrick. It sounds like... he wants to take away everything and everyone that you care about. It's a form of love, you know?

Patrick: Do you mind if I have a little talk with your brother alone?
[Lisbon retreats out of earshot]
Jimmy: No offense, but "sister's boyfriend" isn't exactly a position of authority to me.
Patrick: Let me offer you a deal. You come back to Texas with your sister and me and you'll never have to testify. And no one will ever know that you helped us.
Jimmy: How do you swing that?
Patrick: We'll catch the killer in a way that your testimony will be unnecessary.
Jimmy: Just like that?
Patrick: Well, I skipped a few steps in the middle, but yeah.
Jimmy: I don't even know you, man. Why should I trust you?
Patrick: Because I haven't told your sister about the man in the house and why he was really there. I know he's not from Dallas, and I don't think that he was there to collect on a gambling debt. Do I have to go on?
Jimmy: No.
Patrick: Look, I... I don't like keeping secrets from Teresa. I care about her, and I care about the people that she cares about. You come back to Texas and you'll be fine, I promise.
[they shake hands]
Patrick: [calling to Lisbon] We're good.

Special: He closes case. Yes, he does. He's a valuable asset. We cannot afford to lose him. The way I see it... it's *you* that's in a tricky spot.
Teresa: Ma'am?
Special: This bureau has seen some tough times lately. My mission is to turn that around, and make the CBI *the* premiere law enforcement agency in this state. Patrick Jane is a huge part of that goal... If you can't keep him in line, we'll find someone who can.

Teresa: Let's go back to the CBI. I'm gonna put out a BOLO.
Patrick: BOLO shmolo. We need to reach a wider audience.
Teresa: And how do you propose we do that?
Patrick: [in the studio talking into a microphone] Welcome back to KZHC, where we play the smooth sounds of the '80s and the '90s. I'm Patrick Jane from the California Bureau of Investigation. Yes, that is something that does exist. And we're throwing a contest today because we need your help to find a car, a very important car that will help us break a very important case. We're looking for a silver Mercedes S-class, license plate "KIPMAN7". We're looking for a silver Mercedes S K-I-P-M-A-N-7. The first person to call in the location of this car will receive $10,000 cash money. Yes, folks, we're talking ca...
[the producer knocks on the glass wall and mouthes "NO" with anger]
Patrick: Whoop. Wait. I just got word from my producer that that is not the amount of the prize. It is actually...
[the producer shows 0 with his hand]
Patrick: $20... And the chance to guest DJ here at the radio station... Day and date of your choosing.
[the producer knocks on the glass wall but Jane doesn't notice]
Patrick: That's right, folks. Guest DJ spot during drive time, and in case you missed it, I'll put all the details up on the CBI web site.
[mouthes to Lisbon behind the glass wall]
Patrick: Do we have a CBI web site?
Teresa: [nodes and mouthes] Yes we do.
Patrick: [loud to the microphone] Yes, that nice... CBI web site. Excellent. Now let's see those phone lines light up. Talk to me, please. Talk to me, people. Come on, Sacramento.

Patrick: You're really commited to keeping your temper contained, huh? What's up with that?
Madeleine: You're really commited to testing my temper, huh? What's up with *that*?
[Jane tries to use Hightower to hide himself]
Madeleine: What - what are you doing?
Patrick: Hiding from Attwood.
Madeleine: Why?
Patrick: Because we're going to follow him.

Teresa: [On the cellphone] Jane, you have to come in. Danny could be dangerous. We're not looking to use deadly force, but things happen. It's not safe for you.
Patrick: Getting close to nabbing him, are you? Oh, that's good to know. Well, may the best man win, Lisbon.

Patrick: [seeing a chess board] Was this the game that you were playing with Noah?
Tolman: As a matter of fact, it was.
Patrick: Hmm. Yeah, I think he might have had you.
Tolman: You play?
Patrick: Oh, a little.
Tolman: We should have a game some time.
Patrick: That works. I'll open with pawn to C4.
Tolman: Pawn to E6.
Patrick: Knight to F3.
Tolman: Pawn to D5.
Patrick: Declining the gambit. Interesting. Pawn to D4.
Tolman: Oh, really?
Patrick: Scout's honor.
Tolman: Hmm.
Teresa: Could we get back to the interview, please?
Tolman: Of course. My apologies.
[to Jane]
Tolman: You're gonna regret that open.
Patrick: We'll see.

Kittel: [yells] Fine! Talk yourselves on outta here! Go on. Get out. Go on!
Wayne: All right, this is how it's gonna go. On the count of three, I'm gonna shoot you in the head.
Craig: Rigsby...
Wayne: No. That's my deal. Put the gun down or on three, I shoot you in the head. You ready? One...
Craig: Take it easy, okay?
Wayne: Two...
[yells]
Wayne: Three!
Kittel: [puts down his rifle] Okay! Okay. Why you have to be such a hard ass for?

Teresa: [after an awkward reunion with Pike] That was weird. What'd he say?
Patrick: Uh, he asked me if I had a plan for you.
Teresa: Plan?
Patrick: Yeah. Um... I don't. I... Well, I... I... I think I know what feels - I... I think we know - what feels right, and I think that that should be our guide.
Teresa: So do I.

Sam: Let me communicate this to you. You're a party entertainer. A clown. Fresh leads? I wouldn't tell you where the bathroom was if your ass was on fire. Do we have a good understanding now?
Patrick: I understand you. It may take you some time to understand me.
Sam: You're filled with equal parts self-loathing and self-love. You're addicted to control. You're terrified of confinement.
Patrick: Who's my favorite Beatle?

Sadie: [Slapping Jane] You're a bastard!
Patrick: Well, thanks for the uh, feedback. Always appreciated.

Patrick: Closed case donuts are here.
[the team ignores him]
Patrick: I just went to get sleeping pills, I swear to god. I... I didn't even want to go. You know I didn't want to go.
Grace: [skeptical] Right.
Wayne: Yeah, you didn't set Wagner up. Didn't figure it was him days ago.
Kimball: You didn't let us tear apart the victim's family simply to satisfy your childish need for drama.
Patrick: Yeah, that family was screwed up anyway. Don't blame yourselves, guys.

'Flipper': I guess, uh, you must be bad cop.
Teresa: I try.

Patrick: How would you describe Abby?
Dr. Saban: Oh, uh, a good-hearted woman. Full of life. Vivacious.
Patrick: [Jane's phone rings] Oh excuse me.
[Jane hands some grapes he was holding to the doctor. Then Jane answers his phone]
Patrick: Lisbon, hello.
Teresa: Jane, where are you?
Patrick: I'm just talking with the family doctor here. Says our missing girl is an unstable nymphomaniacal stoner. Interesting, no?
Dr. Saban: Uh, I didn't say that.
Patrick: Yes you did. You practically screamed it.

Teresa: You never went to high school?
Patrick: No. I was busy.
Teresa: You can stay. Just don't make me sorry I let you.

Teresa: I was really angry at you for doing what you did, but then I thought better of it. It was a stupid idea, but, hey, it worked.
Patrick: Whoa. Stupid? Not necessarily stupid. Simple. Not stupid.
Teresa: But I am still angry at you for not telling me what you were gonna do. I thought you'd gone nuts.
Patrick: Oh, come on, please. It's not like I haven't abducted people before.

Wayne: Wait, there's one more thing: I'm sorry but I'm not going to be at your wedding.
Grace: Oh?
[Van Pelt sighs]
Grace: That's too bad. You have something else planned for that day?
Wayne: No,you see the problem is: I'm still in love with you.
Grace: You can't...
Wayne: Hold on. I'm not trying to win you back. You're marrying a good man. That's not gonna change. But neither am I. This whole thing where we pretend we're just friends, it doesn't work. I don't know what will work. But I know one thing: I can't watch you marry another man. You have a good day, and a good life.

Madeleine: You solved the triple, right?
Teresa: Yeah.
Madeleine: Nobody got hurt?
Patrick: No.
Madeleine: Then to Hell with him! Got justice done... Keep up the good work.

Teresa: If we don't get this closed up before Minelli gets back, we're done.
Patrick: Plan B, then.
Teresa: What's plan B?
Patrick: Ooh, you're not gonna like it.

Teresa: What was that all about?
Patrick: Oh, she was just thanking me for consoling her.
Teresa: Ah, and here I thought you hated talking to widows.
Patrick: This one's a little different.
Teresa: How so?
Patrick: She murdered her husband.

Wayne: [a while after Cho calls Rigsby a mummy] Oh the "mummy" I get it. Bandages.
Teresa: Hey. No more pain killers for him.

Patrick: Well, folks, uh, it's been fun.
Melinda: What?
Patrick: I have to go. That's my ride.
Poker: Come on, you can't just leave. We barely took any of your money.
Patrick: [to Melinda] 2 pair -
[to older Poker player]
Patrick: busted flush -
[to Poker-Playing Miner]
Patrick: Pair of Jacks.
Melinda: Don't let us keep you.

Patrick: Mrs. Schneiderman?
Defiance: Defiance.
Patrick: Defiance. Are you a Romani gypsy?
Defiance: What do you know about it?
Patrick: Carny circuit. My dad was a showman.

Grace: I don't get it. She actually enjoyed helping him kill. One crazy, evil person I understand, but two? Husband and wife? Marriage is supposed to be a sacred, loving thing.
Patrick: Yeah, they were soul-mates in their own strange way.

Rick: What's up?
Kimball: I'm Agent Cho. I'll take the kid off your hands.
Rick: What?
Kimball: I made a mistake. Let's just forget I filed a report, okay?
Rick: [scoffs] Too late. Paperwork's been filed. It's my case now. Besides, it took me an hour to get here. I'm not going back empty-handed. Now... do you mind?
[Anthony sucker punches him and tries to run away]
Kimball: [catching him] Hey, hey.
Rick: Give him to me.
Kimball: Sorry, can't do that. He hit you. That's battery.
Rick: Are you kidding me?
Kimball: I have to process him now. Paperwork.
Rick: Hold on.
Kimball: [as the elevator doors close] Bye.
Rick: Hey! This is bull!
Anthony: [Cho leads him away] What you doing, man?
Kimball: Be quiet or I'll give you back.

Patrick: [Calling Lisbon on his cellphone] Lisbon, yes. I ditched you. Uh, I must confess. Look at the bright side, I left you with a car this time... There's no need to be so grumpy, it's okay.

Walter: Yuri and I had been at each other for years. And I had finally won, don't you see? I forced him to sell me his baby.
Teresa: Although he died before he signed the contract.
Walter: I know. The bastard. It's like he reached out from the grave to deny me one last time. But bottom line, I beat him. And I wanted him waking up for the next 30 years thinking that.
Teresa: You hated him so much, you wanted him alive?
Walter: Exactly. Yuri Bajoran was a bad man, Teresa.

Rand: Agent Lisbon, is it? We're leaving. Keep my office informed.
[to the Parachute leader]
Rand: And you. You'll be hearing from our lawyers.
[Into his cellphone]
Rand: Do it now!
Patrick: [to Lisbon] Are you going to let him get away with that?
Teresa: Shhh. Mr. Faulk, this is a murder investigation. You can't leave until we say you can leave.

Patrick: What was she like?
Teresa: I don't know. She seemed nice.
Patrick: Well, just looking for impressions.
Teresa: She was very clean, well-put together.
Patrick: Mm-hmm.
Teresa: Manicured hands. But she chewed the skin around her nails.
Patrick: What did she order?
Teresa: Coffee, black. Paid cash. She waited until the woman behind the counter could see her put her tip in the tip jar.
Patrick: Interesting. I wonder if I do that.
Teresa: Four sugars. That's a lot.
Patrick: Yeah, that is a lot. So you talked to her, you said "I like your bag."
Teresa: How'd you know that?
Patrick: Because that's what you think other women talk about.
Teresa: Well, it worked. We talked.
Patrick: Tell me about her.
Teresa: I don't know. She's reserved. It's the kind of quiet where maybe she could be a raging bitch or she's just shy.
Patrick: What's your verdict?
Teresa: You want me to say if she's a killer based on spending one minute with her.
Patrick: Sure.
Teresa: Well, how do I do that?
Patrick: Well, your brain's already processed all the information. You just have to listen to it.

Patrick: You're glad Bosco has the Red John case, aren't you?
Teresa: Bosco is a good agent. He's as good as they come. It might not be such a bad thing that we're off the case for a while. We got too close.
Patrick: Is that what your shrink tells you?
Teresa: Everybody tells me that.
Patrick: But your shrink did tell you that, didn't he?

Teresa: SAC PD will want to talk to you about Landon Wale, and KRAM. There are some fraud charges pending.
Danny: [Slight chuckle] Fraud charge is *very* hard to prove, especially when nothing changed hands. In fact, now that I think of it, I'm actually innocent.
Teresa: Whatever. They're on their way.
[Danny starts to panic]
Patrick: I believe she's telling you to scram.
Teresa: That's not what I said.
[Danny leaves]
Patrick: Thank you, Lisbon.
Teresa: I didn't hear that.
Patrick: Thank you Lisbon
Teresa: I can't hear anything

Patrick: I always know when you're lying. Sometimes I let you think you've fooled me just so you don't feel bad.
Teresa: Name one time.
Patrick: Ahem, last Thanksgiving, you said you were going back East to your brother's house. But I knew you were actually planning to have three days at home alone to watch old movies and eat ice cream.
Teresa: ...Okay, so that's one time.

Asher: I think you might show a little more respect.
Patrick: Respect for a...
Chief: There's a dead child here.
Patrick: Yes. Yes. He's dead. He doesn't care how I talk to you.

Teresa: [on the other side of the plaza, Cho has just arrested the killer] I woulda never thought it was her.
Patrick: Huh. Really? You surprise me. Normally you have such good people instincts.
Teresa: I do?
Patrick: No, I'm kidding.
[Lisbon hits him]
Patrick: W... I was kidding that I was kidding. You have very good people instincts... It's just your people skills are a little...
Teresa: You're hilarious.
Patrick: [pause. Cho, still on the other side of the plaza, Jane says softly so only Lisbon can hear] Nicely done, Cho.
[still softly, this time to Lisbon]
Patrick: You look great in that hat.

Grace: I did the database search. I'm e-mailing the results.
Teresa: I'm gonna put you on speaker.
[she does so]
Grace: It's not much. One pop for the brand of silver tape used two months ago in Fairfield. An abduction case.
Patrick: What happened?
Grace: Dolores Sanchez, a female, 22. Migrant farm laborer. Abducted at a bus stop; she doesn't know how. She wakes up on a bed in a motel room all tied up in duct tape, unharmed. The cleaners found her. Never saw her abductors, no suspects. Fairfield PD concluded it was a drunken prank. The complainant, Sanchez, left town, so the case kind of drifted away.
Patrick: This is very interesting.
Teresa: Let's not go off on tangents already.
Patrick: Any other correlations?
Grace: Uh... yes, actually. Sanchez is a redhead like O'Keefe.
Patrick: Ah ha.
Teresa: Cool down. It's a common brand of tape and there's a quarter million redheaded women in California.
Patrick: Yeah. Yeah.
Teresa: Yeah.
Patrick: You're right. Just supposing - for fun - that it was the same guy did both crimes. He kidnaps a redheaded girl, ties her up, takes her a motel room, has her at his mercy but does nothing. Months later, kidnaps another redheaded girl, but his planning is not good enough and he kills her in a panic to keep her quiet. What does that say?
Teresa: He's an idiot?
Patrick: He's new to this and he's conflicted. He's hungry to do terrible things, but his conscience and his fear tell him not to. So he's not yet going into this with with the proper focus and planning. And stuff goes wrong.
Teresa: Or you're making that up and Melanie was murdered by her secret lover we can be fairly certain she was meeting at the exact time of her abduction.

Teresa: So what do you think? Did it work?
Patrick: I think 3... 2... 1... How cool would it have been if one of them walked in right now?
Hope: [Slight pause. Hope enters] Hi.

Patrick: [having a gun pulled on him] There's three reasons I'm not scared. Well, okay, I'm scared, but there's three reasons I'm not terrified.
Santino: Please tell.
Patrick: One, you don't get to be your age, rich and unimprisoned by shooting people willy-nilly on golf courses.
Santino: Until now. You know what consistency is?
Patrick: The hobgoblin of little minds.
Santino: Right. Emerson. Okay, reason number two?
Patrick: I can significantly improve your golf game.
Santino: You and hundred other buckalahs. Reason number three?
Santino: I know where to find Eddie Russo.
Santino: [after a tense pause, he nods and his bodyguard lowers his gun] How do I improve my game?
Patrick: Well, it's very simple. It's easy. You have to think of hitting the ball more as, uh... an act of creation. What you need is a little more flow.
Santino: Flow?
Patrick: Mm-hmm.
Santino: I changed my mind. Shoot him.

Teresa: [Jeff's holding a sword] Jeff, put that thing down, *now*.
Jeff: Make me.
[Jeff grunts]
Jeff: Go ahead make me! MAKE ME!
Teresa: Nobody's gonna shoot you, Jeff. No matter how badly you want them to.

Kimball: How is he?
Teresa: Guess what, he's a bad patient.
Patrick: I'm not a bad patient. She's a bad visitor.

[last lines]
Sam: I've been thinking.
Patrick: Ooh.
Sam: You're not a cop.
Patrick: Mm-mm.
Sam: You never will be.
Patrick: Mm-mm.
Sam: But you have a... useful perspective.
[taking a folder out of his handbag]
Sam: This is a summary of the Red John case since I took over. Take a look. Tell me what you think.
Patrick: [Bosco starts to leave] Bosco...
Sam: Don't thank me.
Patrick: I wasn't going to. I need the actual case file. Unabridged.
Sam: You're a jerk. You know that?
Patrick: [Bosco leaves] Night, Bosco.

Michelle: Lucky robbers.
Patrick: Luck is the planning you don't see.

Teresa: [watching the victim's father] So, do you think he killed the victim?
Patrick: He did. Or, at least he feels like he did. Hard to be certain. Guilt comes in many forms.
Teresa: That's the best you can do?
Patrick: For now.

Patrick: Lisbon, can I ask a favor?
Teresa: What?
Patrick: Uh, can you go get one of those elastic exercise bands? The kind that help you stretch with?
Teresa: What do you need one of those for?
Patrick: Bring it to Parkman's hotel room. I'll meet you there.

Wayne: You know that game kids play: "My dad can beat up your dad?" No one ever played that with me.

Teresa: Hey. Where have you been?
Patrick: [setting a box of mints on the table] For your pillow.
Teresa: Pillow mints. Thank you.
Patrick: I also got us a reservation this weekend at the Alhambra. Resort-ish style place, room service, high thread count sheets. I think you're gonna like it.
Teresa: You didn't have to do that.
Patrick: No, I didn't. But I want to spend some time alone with you and that should be some place that you like.
Teresa: Well, are you gonna like it? It doesn't sound very rustic.
Patrick: Yeah, I'll find a tree.

Santa: Look, if Santa isn't a white male and Christian, what the heck is he?
Santa: He's everyone! He's the spirit of generosity in all of us. He's the...
Santa: Oh, would you be quiet? You dumb hippie!

Madeleine: You know what I am Jane. I'm a single mother with two innocent children at home. There's nothing in the world I would do to compromise their safety or their future. Please Jane.

Teresa: I hate to be a buzzkill, Jane, but even if you could remember everybody you've ever met, what if Lorelei Martins is lying? What if you've never actually met Red John?
Patrick: I haven't just met him, I've shaken hands with him. And she wasn't lying, she didn't realise what she told me.
Teresa: Am I in that book?
Patrick: She said it's a wonder Red John and I didn't become friends. Now what we have, I consider a friendship. So, my friend, you are free and clear.
Teresa: That's a relief.

Patrick: And he would have lead you straight to Red John.
Teresa: You'd be dead.
Patrick: But you would have Red John.
Teresa: I don't think you mean what you say. I think you'd choose life.
Patrick: Well, you think wrong.
Teresa: No. No. You think wrong. Can't you see there's people who care about you, who need you? You're being selfish and childish. And I want you to stop it.

Teresa: Panzer knows everything about this case. We've got no forensic evidence and no eyewitnesses. How do you propose we catch him?
Patrick: We take away what he wants most.

Patrick: [to a witness] Please understand something... I have a *very* deep personal interest in this case. I'll do whatever it takes. I will have you framed for murder. I will torture you. I will kill you myself if I have to. Whatever it takes.
Virgil: [From behind the glass] Geez, Lisbon. Come on, this is on tape. Control your man there.
Teresa: Cut him some slack. Look, he's just playing the guy. He doesn't mean it.
Virgil: Doesn't he?

Patrick: Ellis Mars is in room 21.
[Jane hands Todd a weapon and keys to the room]
Patrick: Consider it a gift from a brother-in-arms. I hope someday someone will do the same for me.
Todd: Heh. You're messing with me.
Patrick: No. I'll show you.

Patrick: How was the rest of the party?
Teresa: Torture. That can never, ever happen again.
Patrick: Ten years, huh?
Teresa: More, actually. Every year with you counts as two.

[first lines]
Teresa: How'd he do that?
Patrick: Huh?
Teresa: That tape was made two months ago. Red John knew the names on the list of suspects before you did. I mean, how is that even possible?
Patrick: Eh, it's a trick.
Teresa: A trick how?
Patrick: I don't know.

Charlotte: [about Lisbon] What's her story? She have a boyfriend?
Patrick: Be quiet.
Teresa: I didn't say anything.
Patrick: I was talking to the hallucination.

Teresa: So, what's your report gonna say?
J.J. LaRoche: It will say that agent Risgby acted appropriately and with sound judgment when he used lethal force against Moss. Good work. You got away with it.
Patrick: Me?
J.J. LaRoche: Well I can't make a case, but you chose a remote location for the meeting, you set up a situation in where Moss had to flee. And there, by chance, was Risgby.
Patrick: Well, I'm flattered. You flatter me, but I can't take credit for that.
Teresa: Moss didn't have to run, I would have brought him in.
J.J. LaRoche: The plan did require Moss to put his own head in the noose. Small gamble Jane had to make to keep everyone's hands clean.
Teresa: Moss fired his gun!
J.J. LaRoche: So you all say. And, of course, Moss can't tell his version. And now Rigsby has taken perfectly legal revenge against the man who killed his father. You think it will affect him?
Patrick: Well I think it's better to regret something you did than something you didn't do.

Tamsin: Hey. Gang unit has a tip on a counterfeiting ring running out of a garage on west capitol. Rapid Response Team is up for the bust
Kimball: Nice. Now?
Tamsin: Roll call in 30. I squared it with your cute boss.
Kimball: I'm in.
Wayne: Uh, we have work to do.
Tamsin: I'll have him back in a few hours, dad.
Wayne: Look, if you're the Rapid Response Team, shouldn't you be sliding down fire poles, not hanging around here for 30 minutes?

Wayne: What if she's not interested in me? There's gonna be a lot of guys there. For this to work, she has to be interested in ME.
Grace: She will; just be yourself.
Kimball: That's a terrible idea
Wayne: Maybe I should do an accent or something.
Grace: I don't think you need an accent...
Wayne: [in British accent] Hello. Rigsby. Wayne Rigsby from Sussex. Uh, pleasure to meet you... cheerio.
[in normal voice]
Wayne: How was that?
Kimball: Yeah, don't do the accent.

Wayne: See, I don't think partners should have secrets. But your call.
Kimball: Like you don't have any secrets.
Wayne: What's that supposed to mean?
Kimball: You know what I mean.

Patrick: Hello Lisbon. What a great day to not be blown up.
Teresa: Give it up now.
Patrick: What?
Teresa: What you took from Bajoran's house.
[Jane looks blankly at Lisbon]
Teresa: The toupee, Jane, the housekeeper called.
Patrick: Oh.
[Jane throws Lisbon the toupee]
Teresa: That's just gross! Why would you take it?
Patrick: Evidence.
Teresa: Of what?
Patrick: Bad taste.

Teresa: Human beings are more than just electrical appliances.

Virgil: That's the nub of the problem right there. Red John. Ever since the Tanner incident, you've been running way too hot. I fear a terminal screw up is coming.
Teresa: That's not gonna happen. I can handle him.
Virgil: Can you? Maybe since he saved your life, you're going easy on him. Maybe you feel compelled to cut him some slack.
Teresa: No sir. That is *absolutely* not the case!

Rick: [On tape] Hey, Joe, you're a dead man. Dead. I'm gonna do you my own self. I'm gonna look you in the eye cut your heart out, shove it down your throat you-...
Teresa: [Cuts tape] That's you, isn't it?
Rick: Hyperbole is lost on some people.

Patrick: You're rehiring me, and you're firing Lisbon? That's a little preverse, don't you think?
Gale: You close cases. Agent Lisbon led a covert operation that led to the deaths of two police officers and one FBI Agent. There just had to be some accountability there.
Patrick: My operation. It was *my* operation.
Gale: Well, that's exactly the problem. We expect better supervision from our senior agents. Which is why Lisbon is being investigated and her team reassigned to other posts.

Patrick: [referring to a body] Rachel, could you please move that thing? Please. Please. Please, the stench is unbearable. O-over there. Anywhere. Just please, please move him.
[Winger moves the body closer to Jane. Jane groans]
Sherry: Smell that.

Teresa: Do you know who the killer is?
Patrick: What do you think?
Teresa: I think you said "What do you think" to make me think you do so I'll go with you, but you really don't.
Patrick: Cho?
Kimball: Baseball bat, Baseball Academy, that's not common sense.
Patrick: Great. We'll all go.

Patrick: Hallucinations are part of the subconscious. Mine could be clues.
Teresa: We'll go when you're lucid.
Patrick: Well, when I'm lucid, I could forget everything. But right now, let me tell you right now my visions are very, very real!
Teresa: In other words, you want to use drugs to solve a case.
Patrick: Some great minds did their best work on hallucinogens.
Teresa: And now you have a great mind?

Wayne: [Jeremy enters half dressed with a can of whipped cream] Hi Jeremy.
Jeremy: Hey.
Grace: Let's go talk. You might want some clothes.
Wayne: Or a lot more whipped cream. Your call.

Patrick: Oh, I trained myself to hear and take in information while asleep.
Teresa: The others told you?
Patrick: Yes, they did.
[He grins widely]

Teresa: [after Jane is arrested] What's going on?
Marshal: The Attorney General has found your coworker in contempt of court for ignoring a federal subpoena. Teresa Lisbon?
Teresa: Yeah, that's me.
Marshal: You've been subpoenaed to appear before a federal grand jury in Dallas.
Kim: [Coming up to them] What's happening here?
Marshal: Are you Kim Fischer?
Kim: Yes.
Marshal: You've been subpoenaed to appear before a federal grand jury, as well.
[to Jane]
Marshal: Let's go.
Patrick: [to Fischer and Lisbon] Uh, probably best not to ignore those.

Bret: It seems that your friend John is planning a surprise party for you.
Patrick: How do you know what Red John is planning?
Bret: It doesn't matter.
Patrick: It certainly matters to me. How do you know what Red John is planning?
Bret: My dear chap, I know so much more than you or Red John could ever imagine. Accept this as a gift from a friend. Or not.

Patrick: We've never discussed this before, because I thought it went without saying. But when I catch Red John, I'm going to cut him open and then watch him die slowly, like he did with my wife and child. And if you have a problem with that, we should talk.
Teresa: Then let's talk. Because when *we* catch Red John, we are going to take him into custody and he's going to be tried in a Court of Law.
Patrick: Not if I'm still breathing.
Teresa: If you try and do violence to him, I will try and stop you. If you succeed in doing violence to him, I will arrest you.
Patrick: I understand.
Teresa: I hope so.

Grace: How's boss?
Patrick: Alive and cranky.

Patrick: A little hypocritical, if you're gonna lecture him on revenge, don't you think?
Teresa: How's that?
Patrick: Uh, all these years, you've been helping me seek revenge.
Teresa: That's different.
Patrick: ...How's that?
Teresa: I'm in control of the situation.
Patrick: Oh really?

Ray: No, no. My hat's off. I-I only lasted two days as Jane's boss. He nearly killed me. So you--you --clearly know things that I don't.
Teresa: He is not that hard to handle.
Ray: Really? Seriously? 'Cause I know a couple... thousand people who would disagree with that.

Patrick: [Referring to Lisbon] Well she looks surprised because you seem incredibly calm and cool for a man whose wife is dying.
Dr. Cliff Edmunds: How would an absense of calm and cool be useful to her?
Patrick: Good point.

Teresa: [Jane wakes Lisbon up] What?
Patrick: It's okay. You were talking in your sleep.
Teresa: I was?
Patrick: And drooling a little.

Doc: Your own funeral, that's when you hear the truth, what people really think of you. Woman worships me. Would you like to find out why?
Grace: No, thanks.
Doc: You sure?
Grace: Tempting, really, but... I shot and killed my last boyfriend. I'm not ready for a relationship yet.
Doc: Okay. Rain check.

Grace: The news is spreading fast through the CBI grapevine. It's true, isn't it?
Teresa: It's true.
Grace: Well, we had to call and say congratulations.
Wayne: So, you and Jane, huh? We always knew.
Grace: We always knew? I always knew.
Teresa: How are the kids?
Wayne: Uh, sticky, mostly.
Grace: The kids are great.
Teresa: I know it's short notice, but you guys have got to come out for the wedding. It's Saturday.
Grace: Oh, my gosh. Of course. We'd love to.
Wayne: It'll take a little child care juggling, but we can swing it. If worst comes to worst, we'll just bring the little monkeys with us, keep 'em locked in the rental car.
Grace: [sigh of disgust] Will not.
Wayne: I'm kidding.
[one of the kids calls for Grace]
Wayne: But seriously, we wouldn't miss it for anything.

Patrick: Tough girl. Scared, though. Terrified even.
Teresa: Of what?
Patrick: Ah, there's the rub. Of what is she so scared?
Teresa: And the answer is?
Patrick: Well, it's a rhetorical question. I have no idea. I do have an idea, but I'm not gonna tell you, because that would be premature.
Teresa: And I am not gonna amuse you by demanding to know. So there.

Teresa: Minelli says we can go in. The warrant's on its way.
[Jane starts working on the door]
Teresa: Let's do this.
Kimball: Bet you can't do it in fiv...
[Jane picks the lock]
Kimball: Never mind.

Teresa: Sir, I fully recognize that I failed in my duty to oversee Jane's behavior.
Patrick: Oh, stop. You did nothing wrong.
Gale: Agent Lisbon did wrong when she failed to stop you furnishing guns to a man who used those guns to mow down a Sac PD officer.
Patrick: It was a good plan that went awry. I said sorry. She's not responsible.

Teresa: Do you still think Abel killed Cleo?
Patrick: Oh, I know he did. Guy's a hothead. Those swollen biceps and neck tattoos; the mere hint of an affair would set that guy off.
Kim: Why was her psychic here the night Abel disappeared? If Defiance was out with her friends all, there was no was reason for him to be at the loft.
Teresa: Cleo Ascencio. It's such a theatrical name. You think it's real?
Kimball: It is. We ran his fingerprints.
Teresa: Let me guess. Clean record?
Kimball: Spotless.
Patrick: What are you suggesting, Lisbon?
Teresa: Ascencio, it... it sounds Cuban. There's a scam that they do in Cuba. Brokers charge large sums of money to surgically modify fingerprints. They swap the right fingertips and the left, it fools immigration every time.
Kim: How do you know that?
Teresa: I'm a police chief. With a lot of reading time on my hands.

Patrick: Second, and most important, doesn't it feel great to get your life back? Don't you feel good right now? Don't you feel happy to be alive?
Teresa: No!
Patrick: Oh, I know you do! You know you do!
Teresa: And if reason number one doesn't pan out very *very* soon, I think I'm gonna punch you in the nose.
Patrick: Okay, fair enough, but just you wait. Any minute Harken is going to come running around that corner with an anxious expression on his face because someone has run off... any minute now...
Teresa: Nothing.
[punches Jane in the nose]
Patrick: Oh!
[Harken runs around the corner, Jane points at him]
Patrick: That's what I'm talking about!

Teresa: When are you going to learn to cool it without being told?
Patrick: Oh come on. They pissed you off too. The sexist pigs.
Teresa: They were.
Patrick: I just said that.
Teresa: You were saying it ironically.

[last lines]
Patrick: Great house. Whose is it?
Teresa: It's yours. Give me your keys.
Patrick: Okay.
[she leads him inside and upstairs; entering the master bedroom, he sees the Red John smiley face on the wall]
Teresa: I'm sorry.

Wayne: So, Sylvan's financials are clean. There's just one thing I don't get. The end of every month, he withdraws just over two grand in cash. He has no family, no girlfriend.
Kimball: Sounds like rent.
Wayne: His apartment's only $900 and he writes a check for that.
Kimball: No, not his apartment. His home. A place to store his tools, process his victims, keep his trophies.
Wayne: A murder house. And if he's paying cash, it's a fair bet that the name Cale Sylvan won't be on the lease. That place could be anywhere.
Grace: Well, maybe I can narrow it a little. Look at this. This is from the Sylvan murder video. The bag he's holding, it's from Ab's Gym. We show his picture around the gym, maybe we find someone that knows his other address.
Wayne: There's a dozen Ab's Gyms around here. It'll take days to canvass them.
Kimball: Ah, hell, start with the ones by the river. The sand Jane found in Sylvan's pockets, it's river sand, not ocean sand.
Wayne: How'd you know?
Kimball: We're in Sacramento. We got a river, not an ocean.

Teresa: A brawl? You started a brawl.
Patrick: Well, I was going for something a little more contained. Then... I guess people just wanted to explore the physical.

Jason: I can't believe they gave me a desk.
[laughs]
Jason: You can call me "The Coyote".
Kimball: I don't think so.
Jason: That's just what they call me downstairs. Don't ask me why, though. They never told me.
[laughs again]
Kimball: Your name's Wylie.
Jason: Yeah.
Kimball: Wile e. Coyote. "Road Runner", the cartoon?
Jason: [Not getting it] No, it's Irish, I think.

Victor: Real fancy résumé, this guy. Graduated from Eton and Oxford. Last employer was some hot-shot prep school back east.
Patrick: Eh, I wouldn't be so sure.
Victor: Excuse me?
Patrick: The facial scar. Eton boy gets a cut on his head, he needs a plastic surgeon he gets a plastic surgeon. My guess, the whole résumé's a fairy tale.
Victor: *Excuse* me?
Patrick: You're excused.

Teresa: I have to say, I am impressed. You outplayed the F.B.I.
Patrick: No contest. Did they tell you when I start work?
Teresa: When *we* start.
Patrick: We? What about your job?
Teresa: Nah. It was boring.
Patrick: Yeah, I told you.
Teresa: Yeah. But you had no right to. It's my life, and I'll decide what to do with it.
Patrick: And you decided correctly.
Teresa: There was never any choice.
Patrick: Oh, come on. It'll be fun. Let's see what kind of trouble we can make.

Dr. Jack Wilder: What I offer here is personal hands on therapy. It's the only way to make effective change in people's lives.
Teresa: That and Call Girls. It's an interesting way to drum up business.
Dr. Jack Wilder: What you see as a Call Girl, I see as a marketing expert with keen insights into the needs and desires of my clientele. I focus on highly driven professionals.

Patrick: But you have to trust me.
Teresa: Right. And what if you're wrong again?
Patrick: Well, if I'm wrong, then we're in deep trouble. But what are the chances *really* of me being wrong twice in a row? Think about that one. Of course, if either of you have a better idea of how to find Abby's body, or catch her killer, please. These are not taxi doors. They're ears.

Lee: I would chop a man's head off and pee down his neck before I'd ever cut his chute that way. I mean, that's bad. That's out there.

Virgil: Lisbon, in my eight years as SAC, I've lost four agents, all of them this week.
Teresa: You should've just quit last week.

Patrick: I'm glad to see you're finally learning a few things. Of course, now I shall have my revenge.
Teresa: What do you mean?
Patrick: Ah.
[Jane chuckles]

Patrick: Oh, I'm impressed, Lindsay. There's not three people in the world that could have done an induction on a cop, but Rigsby's guard was up when he was with Dr. Daniel and Carl. And you? You just crept through the cracks, you sneaky little mouse.

Teresa: Cut him some slack. He's just playing the guy. He doesn't mean it.
Virgil: Doesn't he? You know what Red John does to him. He can't think straight. He would do all that *and* more, if you let him.
Teresa: I won't let him!

Patrick: What's your baby's name?
Lily: Henry. After Matt's dad.
Patrick: Henry. That's a good, strong name. I hate to talk to you about doing the right thing. Doing it is the easy part. Knowing what it is is tough.
Matthew: And let me guess, you know what the right thing to do is?
Patrick: No. No, I don't, Matthew. But, uh, I'm gonna ask you this. In years from now, when, uh, you tell Henry this story, how will it go? Did the three of you take an evil killer off the street or did you play it safe? Is Henry's birthright gonna be one of proud bravery or sensible caution? Tough call.

Patrick: Cheap power suit, phone holster, Bluetooth, large watch. Has "petty tyrant" written all over him.

Teresa: This is another fine pickle you've gotten yourself in, huh?
Patrick: Eh, I've seen worse, pickle-wise.
Teresa: Yes, you have... How's the ankle?
Patrick: Oh, it's fine... You didn't go to D.C.
Teresa: No. Did you mean what you said?
Patrick: Yes, I did.
Teresa: Good.
Patrick: Just to be clear, we're talking about pickles, right?
Teresa: No. No. The other thing.
Patrick: Oh, that.
Teresa: This is no joking matter.
Patrick: Yes, I meant what I said, every word of it.
Teresa: Good. Because I feel the same way.
Patrick: [smiles] Well, that's lucky. What about Pike?
Teresa: He'll understand. Say it again.
Patrick: Say what again?
Teresa: [arches brow meaningfully]
Patrick: [he leans across the table and kisses Teresa]
TSA: [knocks on window] Hey, quit that!

Patrick: It's horribly obvious when people are in a relationship. Impossible to hide, try though they might.

Patrick: I brought you five together for a reason. Some of you may know that reason, some of you may have guessed. But one of you here is Red John.
Reede: [as the group laughs derisively] What? One of us?
Bret: One of us here is Red John? Well, that's very interesting.
Gale: Who is it?
Patrick: I don't know. And that's what we're gonna find out.
Reede: Wait, you're trying to say that one of us in this room is a serial killer?
Patrick: I know it.
Ray: No, this is crazy.
Patrick: I can assure you it's not.
Ray: Well, I can assure you I'm not sticking around for this crap.
Patrick: [as Haffner stands to leave, he pulls out his shotgun and pumps the slide] Sit down. Do not move toward the door. No one is leaving.

Kimball: A tattoo?
Patrick: Yes.
Grace: That we can use to identify Red John.
Patrick: Yes.
Wayne: That's great. So all we have to do is check each one of the suspects one by one until we find out who has the tattoo.
Patrick: No.
Wayne: Why not?
Patrick: Red John doesn't know I know about the tattoo.
Wayne: [confused] Okay?
Patrick: So if we start checking suspects, very likely that Red John will find out.
Teresa: And disappear before we have a chance of getting him.
Patrick: Exactly.
Kimball: Then what do you want to do?
Patrick: Gather all five suspects together, same place, same time, then start checking for the tattoo.
Kimball: And how do we do that?
Patrick: We'll ask them.
Kimball: And you think they'll agree?
Patrick: Wasn't planning on giving them a choice.

Police: Ben's our, uh, go to guy in Marquesa.
Ben: Just means I'm the only Real Estate Agent around here who takes his commission in fertilizer and chickens.

Benson: It's a load of crap, man. You got nothing on me. You're gonna be hearing from my lawyer.
Kimball: We just caught you in a warehouse full of stolen vehicles. You're the one who should be trying to make a deal with me. If you're too stupid to see that, I don't know what value you have for the FBI.

Patrick: I don't see a couch anywhere.
Teresa: Don't start trouble. At least not yet.

Madeleine: [to Rigsby, Van Pelt & Lisbon] You work together, you develop feelings. Nothing wrong with that. But you know very well it's against CBI rules, and like I tell my kids: rules are rules. If you want to stay together that's your choice, but one of you has to transfer out of the unit. If you both want to stay in the unit, then you can't be together. That's what it is. Give me your decision by tomorrow at the latest... Questions?
Grace: No ma'am.

Papadakis: Montero was an honest antiquities dealer - one of the last. Most traders nowadays are looter and no-good son-of-a-bitches!

Wayne: You want me to memorize everything we have on all sixty-seven alumni that showed up to the reunion?
Patrick: Yes, I do.
Wayne: And how would I do that?
Patrick: It's easy. You build a memory palace.

Teresa: Richard Haibach. You're under arrest.
Richard: For what?
Teresa: We'll think of something.

Patrick: Listen, ladies, all you've done so far is wave a gun around. That's no big deal, huh? No one's calling you killers.
Wes: I am.
Patrick: Shhh.

Kimball: You wanted to see me, boss?
Dennis: The arrogance of it all.
Kimball: Normally is.
Dennis: Witnesses, our people, and now this Peg Bailey. Jane figures they communicate with her through video games and just like that, she's dead. God, I want to crush these people.
Kimball: Yeah? Me, too.
Dennis: Ethan Bittaker has kidney dialysis four times a day. I'm thinking he might be a tad fragile with his health issues and all. And he has thirty-eight months left on his parole.
Kimball: You want me to lean on him?
Dennis: Let's both go lean on him.

Patrick: Disappointing, Lisbon. I thought you might push back a little. The guy called me a circus act.
Teresa: Hey, the man is grieving. You push back.
Patrick: Okay, I will.
[Gets up]
Teresa: [stops him by placing her hand on his chest] Don't you dare.
Patrick: You said that I could.
Teresa: I take it back.

Patrick: I know. I know, you don't know whether to hug me or to hit me.
Teresa: [She hits him] Ugh!

Patrick: I'm off to the cafeteria for something deliciously suspended in gelatin.
Teresa: I'm not even going to ask you where you're really going. You want to know why?... I don't have to know.

Brenda: Agent Cho?
Kimball: Yeah?
Brenda: It is the specific request of the Deputy AG that your unit cooperate fully with the media.
Kimball: What's your point?

Sam: Let me communicate this to you. You're a party entertainer. A clown. Fresh leads? I wouldn't tell you where the bathroom is if your ass was on fire.

Patrick: If you stopped seeing the world in terms of what you like and what you dislike, and saw things for what they truly are in themselves, you would find a great deal more peace in your life.

Patrick: [presents Lisbon with a hydrangea] For you.
Teresa: Does it squirt water?
Patrick: Nooo, no trick... Maybe just a little trick. Catch the killer.
Teresa: With a hydrangea?
Patrick: Ya.
Teresa: How?
Patrick: Well wouldn't that be spoiling the fun?
Teresa: ...for you. Spoiling the fun for you.
Patrick: That's the fun that matters.

Patrick: [to Aunt Jodie as she's smoking] Every time you breathe that breath of putrid smoke, remember this: this is a fat rich tobacco executive thinking what a fool you are every time you breathe that smoke. Laughing at you, with his fat jowels wobbing with glee. Do you see him?
[Aunt Jodie nods]

Kimball: Go ahead.
Wayne: What?
Kimball: You always say something when O'Laughlin calls.
Wayne: There's nothing to say. I'm over it.
Kimball: Who are you and what have you done with Wayne Rigsby?

Charlotte: Well, to be honest, dad, your obsession's a little creepy and weird, you know.
Patrick: What? I do it all for you. And your mom.
Charlotte: Yeah. And I hate to be the one to break this to you, dad, but there's nothing that you can do for us. We don't give a damn what happens to Red John. I mean, we're dead. Gone. And you need to start dealing with that.
Patrick: I deal with that every day.
Charlotte: Maybe that's the problem.

Patrick: Hi.
Teresa: You all right?
Patrick: Uh... yeah, I'm fine.
Teresa: Everything's gonna be okay tomorrow. You know that, right? We know what we're doing. It's a good plan. It's a really good plan.
Patrick: He has a good plan, too.
Teresa: We're gonna be safe.
Patrick: Someone could get hurt.
Teresa: It's always dangerous.
Patrick: This is different.
Teresa: Everybody will be fine. I promise. We're all gonna be fine, if that's what this insomnia's about.
Patrick: Yeah, you're right.
Teresa: I am right. Everything's gonna be okay.
Patrick: No, it's what the insomnia's about.
Teresa: Come to bed.

Teresa: It's good to see you care.
Patrick: You know sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

Teresa: A stranger asks to see your ID, you ask them to show you theirs first.
Patrick: Unless, of course, you're trying to hide something.
Slocombe: Quite right. Quite right, Mr. Jane.

Patrick: So what's the deal with Justin? Who disliked him?
Elliot: Nobody. He was... fine.
Patrick: Oh, you say that like he was a prize jerk.
Marley: No. He wouldn't win any prizes.

Dennis: It's a tough situation. This city is in a full-on panic and we have no solid leads.
Patrick: Okay. Well, uh... do we try Tork's idea?
Teresa: What? No!
Dennis: I don't think that we can rule anything out.
Teresa: Boss...
Dennis: The guy is not hiding bodies anymore. You know, maybe he's starting to... to like the attention.
Teresa: Do you want him to do to Jane what he did to Gabriel?
Dennis: Now, you know we won't let that happen.
Teresa: You can't promise that!
Patrick: You... you know what? I appreciate your spirited defense, but it... it's not necessary. I'll do it.

Patrick: [Lisbon kicks him as he dozes on the couch] What?
Teresa: You know damn well what. You assaulted a man.
Patrick: No, I just tweaked him on the nose.
Teresa: Technically, that's assault.
Patrick: Technically, he's an ass. He deserved it.
Teresa: Yes, he is, but this is not a schoolyard. You simply cannot do stuff like that.
Patrick: I did. I did it. And the seas didn't boil and the sky didn't fall.

Teresa: The team's looking for Smith, Bertram's on the run. So who's Red John? Is it Bertram or Smith?
Patrick: I need to look them both in the eye.

Teresa: You--come on. Let's talk.
Vigilance: Before we do, can I just ask: are you happy in your lives?
Teresa: [looks at Cho, exasperated] Sit down!

Patrick: Why didn't you tell us you were having an affair with Dr. Kaseem here?
Alicia: Because it isn't relevant.
Dr. Cliff Edmunds: Yeah, we have an honest and open marriage.
Dr. Jason Kaseem: They do.
Teresa: Really? You don't mind.
Dr. Cliff Edmunds: No, I don't mind at all. Fidelity is simply a cultural convention.
Patrick: Like clothes and not killing people.

Patrick: Perhaps you can help me out. I'm trying to find the delinquents. Well, I found one myself - or at least his shoes - but he managed to get away.
Principal: I don't think they're gonna help you much. Mr. McTierney taught mostly advanced classes.
Patrick: Yes, but it's the bad apples that have the real dirt.

Patrick: Yes, I did hypnotize her but...
Teresa: But nothing! It's unprofessional and it's illegal!
Kimball: That's what I told him.
Patrick: I was going to say you had nothing to do with it. But hey -
[Jane leaves. Cho starts to walk, Lisbon stops Cho]
Teresa: You allow him to pull that stuff again, and you'll be showing visitors around the Statehouse in a stupid hat.
Kimball: Yes, ma'am. Understood.

Patrick: Why so glum? Case is a case.
Wayne: We're in the middle of nowhere. Windy as hell. I haven't eaten anything. Dismemberments are a bitch! You spend months assembling the victim. There's always a piece missing!

Teresa: Did you know about the jail time?
Esther: Yes, of course I did.
Teresa: And the ex-wife?
Esther: [Falters slightly] Of course. He told me everything.
Patrick: Mm. Liar. Bad liar.
Esther: How dare you?
Patrick: Well, it's a compliment to your good character. You'd rather be a good liar?

Patrick: Well I'm just saying be careful. That you sell your talent and not your soul. Don't let other people run your lives not even your dad. And trust me I know what I'm talking about.

Patrick: So, tell us a little about yourselves. Let's use this sadness to get some real truths, shall we? Joyce, you first.
Joyce: Me first? To do what, exactly?
Patrick: I'll tell you what I think, just to get the ball rolling. I think you've made your way in the world by concealing your true feelings under a mask of positivity and niceness. But underneath, you're a seething mass of ugly, bitter resentment.
[to Holman]
Patrick: You think Faulk is a stupid buffoon, but you're far too clever to be brave enough to tell him so.
Holman Perry: How dare you?
Patrick: And you, Mr. Braemer. Marine Corps, yes?
De: Yes.
Patrick: Office politics must seem kind of trivial in comparison. How often do you fantasize about pulling a couple of weapons and showing these civilians a little reality?

Patrick: That was it?
Teresa: That's all Kirkland said. He was just fishing.
Patrick: Don't you think it's odd, Homeland Security's fascination with a California serial killer?
Teresa: Everything about Bob Kirkland is odd.
Patrick: Well, yes.
Teresa: Just add that to the list.

Patrick: It was self-defense.
Teresa: Exactly, and if it was self-defense, she'll be acquitted.
Patrick: Oh, and the courts never get it wrong. The system never chews people up.
Teresa: We *are* the system, Jane. We get it right most of the time.

Wayne: So what does it say?
Kimball: What?
Wayne: My file.
Kimball: You didn't even read your own file?
Wayne: No. It's against the rules.
Kimball: You're kidding.
Wayne: I like rules. Why be a cop if you don't like rules? What did it say?
Kimball: You know what it says. It's your life. No surprises. Well, I didn't know you were adopted, but other than that...
Wayne: [Dumfounded] Adopted? What?
Kimball: Kidding.

Patrick: Give me a minute with her. She's got a super low threshold.
Kimball: No. Nope.
Patrick: Just stand in the doorway. Pretend you're making a phone call for a moment.
Kimball: No. It's illegal and it's unprofessional.
Patrick: That's why I need you to stand in the doorway.
Kimball: ...One minute.

Wayne: Local P. D. Stomped all over the scene. Don't think forensics will be any use.
Teresa: It's like they don't even watch TV. Every toddler knows this stuff.

Patrick: For memory to be useful it has to be as accurate and as fast as a camera. How many animals did you get Lisbon?
Teresa: Around 30.
Patrick: And you got them from Linda's office?
Teresa: Yes, I did.
Patrick: All of the animals came from Linda's office, and that is a place that I have never been. And in a moment, I will turn around and look behind me for just for a few seconds, and I will memorize every animal on those tables, in order, and then I will show you how to do the same.
Jeanette: How do we know you didn't already memorize them?
Patrick: Ah, a skeptic, I should have known, and you're right! There's no reason for you to trust me. Paul, would you mind rearranging the animals any way you see fit?
Paul: Sure.
Patrick: Thank you. The human brain, once you get it working right, it can be incredibly effective. The mind can do some miraculous things... like telling the future. Which is what I'm doing right now.
[He writes something on a piece of paper]
Jeanette: Bull!
Patrick: For that, you can be the one who holds the prediction. Science is about predictions, isn't it?
Jeanette: Predictions based on hard data, not fortune telling.
Patrick: Ah ha, you say "tomato", I say scientists believe rational thought; in grids, in lists, and classification, which is fine, but it's not how the world works, and it certainly not how the brain works.
Dr. Sonia Kidd: You're saying people aren't rational.
Patrick: Well, being rational is a tool, but it's not the only tool we have. Long before we stuffed down knowledge into graphs and charts, we used older and, in some cases, more entertaining ways to remember things. How are we doing there Paul?
Paul: I think we're good.
Patrick: Excellent, now please, I'd like to show you what I'm talking about.
[whistles]
Patrick: Lisbon, uh would you mind? Thank you. We can create a memory by building a palace in our minds, we can sing ourselves a song, or tell ourselves a little story.
[as he talks the camera pans across the line of animals]
Patrick: A story of a bully, a grey fox, and a little brave man, a rat, who stood up for his chubby little buddy, the toad, and his friend, egghead. A story of a man in a tuxedo who snaked his way through a crowd to meet a women in a colorful dress; a penguin, cobra, three squirrels, and a parrot. The story of flight; an owl, a bat, a moth, all...
[pauses]
Patrick: I sense i made a mistake.
Dr. Sonia Kidd: No moth.
Patrick: Hmm... well, perhaps my prediction will explain my error. Jeanette, could you read it out loud please?
Jeanette: "The moth is in Paul's pocket."
Paul: Wait, what?
Patrick: The moth you stole from the table when you were rearranging the animals. It's in your pocket.

Gale: Now I have a problem because uh, our urgent need for your skills are precisely balanced by my desire to fire you - before you destroy the bureau or my career - or both.
Patrick: I understand... You're in a tight spot. You know who's always been a healthy moderating influence on me?
Gale: [Chuckling] Yeah, of course, Lisbon. I'm sorry, not possible.
Patrick: Well, then. You will continue to have a problem.

Patrick: You're wasting your energy.
Teresa: You have a better idea?
Patrick: It so happens that I do.
[he shows her the penknife in his hands]
Teresa: Where'd you get that?
Patrick: [pointing to the dead body] Him. I was hoping to unlock my handcuffs, but, uh... no luck.
Teresa: Well, what are you gonna do?
Patrick: You're not gonna like it.

Patrick: Arden, do you always follow your husband's lead? Do you never struggle against his desire to control?
Noah: Excuse me?
Patrick: [to Arden Plaskett] You drink too much. Doesn't mean you don't have a say. I should think he's at least half the reason you drink in the first place.

Teresa: So now we're breaking and entering?
Patrick: Not exactly. I have the key.

Patrick: What was it that first attracted you to your husband? Not his looks.
Felicia: Oh really?
Patrick: Yeah, really. He's not your type.
Felicia: And what is my type?
Patrick: Sporty bad boys with a hidden masochistic streak.
Felicia: Aha.
Patrick: Not too bright.
Felicia: Not even close.
Patrick: [smiling] No, that was a bulls-eye. So what did you like about Felix?

Wayne: Boss is it okay if I sit down?
Teresa: You are sitting down Rigsby.

Teresa: She likes picking fights a little bit too much. A loner.
Patrick: Oh, she needs a friend. We all do.
Teresa: You have not met this girl.
Patrick: Well, a tough cookie. Likes to hide her emotions under a hard veneer.
Teresa: Yeah.
Patrick: Yeah, I think I've met a woman like that before.
Teresa: [amused] Is that so?
Patrick: Uh, you want to know how I got her to lower her guard?
Teresa: How?
Patrick: Uh... I lowered my own.

Kimball: You should tell the truth Mr. Mosca. It's easier to remember.

Teresa: How am I trapped?
Patrick: You live in Washington.
Teresa: [indignantly] I love Washington!
Patrick: High voice.

Kimball: What secret?
Summer: Cost you a Thousand dollars to find out
Kimball: A Thousand dollars?
Summer: and dinner at a nice restaurant.
Kimball: $500 and a pizza.
Summer: $600, no mushrooms.
Kimball: Deal.
Summer: I hate mushrooms.

Teresa: Mitchell Cavanaugh, you're under arrest.
Patrick: Oh, Mitch, I thought we worked through your doormat issues. Tell Cho to squeeze him a little. He knows things.
Mitch: No, I don't.
Patrick: Sure you do, Mitch.
Teresa: You're not gonna like getting squeezed by Cho.

[last lines]
Teresa: I don't think I've said this. I mean, I know I haven't said this, but I don't really know if I need to, because you always know what I'm thinking.
Patrick: Well, not everything.
Teresa: Would you be surprised if I said I love you?
Patrick: I'd be... I'd be lying if didn't say I would be moved by that.
Teresa: I love you.
[in a coy whisper]
Teresa: I said it.
Patrick: I'm surprised.

Kim: You broke into my car.
Patrick: I entered your car without your knowledge. But the good news is tomorrow at around two, this case will be cracked.
Kim: You sound awfully sure of yourself.
Teresa: Always.

Walter: So my friends say because you saved me that means you own me.
Teresa: They have a return policy?

Teresa: Who's Olivier Gans?
Patrick: Uhm, don't know. Made him up.

Teresa: You know, we never finished our conversation.
Patrick: No, it got busy.
Teresa: Life throws you curveballs.
Patrick: Are we talking about baseball now?
Teresa: I'm serious. I want us to be strong together.
Patrick: We are, aren't we?
Teresa: I love you. And I also love what I do. You can't be jealous of that.
Patrick: It's not that.
Teresa: What is it?
[Jane doesn't say anything]
Teresa: What?
Patrick: I don't want to lose you. I don't know how I would react.
Teresa: You're not gonna lose me.
Patrick: You don't know that.
Teresa: Nobody knows what's gonna happen. Okay, you could die tomorrow. I could. We need to focus on what's going on right now. Right here. It's good. It is very, very good.

Teresa: [Rigsby is recuperating in the hospital] And then Haibach shot you a second time?
Wayne: Yeah. That one hurt.
Teresa: But you got back up, disarmed the sister, and stopped Haibach. Nice work, Wayne.
Grace: He said he was gonna save me, and he did.
Kimball: You do realize you got shot with your own gun.
Wayne: Oh, please, Cho, no jokes. It hurts when I laugh.
Kimball: I'm just saying if you tell that story in the future, you might want to leave that part out.
Wayne: Seriously, I'm gonna split a stitch.

Patrick: Two years ago, I hired a petty thief to break into LaRoche's safe for a list of Red John suspects.
Teresa: Yeah, I know. I had to slug the guy in front of his lawyer to keep you out of jail. Cost me six months in anger management.
Patrick: Yeah, and I hope you learned something.
[Lisbon hits Jane]

Tiffany: Mr. Dilmer's waiting for you in his office. Any interest in doing a tour of the model homes after your business is done?
Teresa: Are you serious?

Teresa: Don't you have anybody you want to call besides Cho and Rigsby?
Patrick: If I were dying, I'd want to call you, but you're already here, so there's no need.

Teresa: What are we doing, Jane?
Patrick: I'm eating eggs, you're staring at a dry muffin.
Teresa: We need a plan.
Patrick: I've been thinking about that.
Teresa: In the meantime, Red John is gonna kill again.
Patrick: Yeah, probably.
Teresa: Jane, I'm scared.
Patrick: He's not psychic.
Teresa: Well, that's not what scares me. Well, no, that scares me, too.
Patrick: There's no such thing.
Teresa: I'm scared because I've never seen you like this before. It's like you don't know what to do next.
Patrick: Next? Well, pecan pie.
Teresa: Funny. Funny. I'm serious.
Patrick: So am I.
Teresa: We need help.
Patrick: [firmly] No.

Teresa: You and Rigsby go and talk to Gulbrand's partner, Rick Bregman. He should be at Gaia Matrix.
Kimball: All right. Will do, boss.
[hanging up]
Kimball: Rigsby.
Wayne: [groaning, obviously still sick] What?
Kimball: Never mind.

Patrick: Red John is one step behind me. But he thinks he's one step ahead, so in effect he's two steps behind. And he doesn't know it. So he'll be overconfident when he walks into my trap.

Wayne: If LaRoche finds out about this, my career is over.
Kimball: Yeah, it is. Unless I lie as well. Back you up, right?
Wayne: I'm sorry man. I know I've put you in a bad spot.
Kimball: I've been a cop close to 10 years. Never lied to another cop - not once!
Wayne: Look, I'm not asking you to lie now. I just - I want you to do what you think is right.
Kimball: Yeah.
[Gets in the car]
Wayne: So what are you going to do?
Kimball: I'm not going to lie for you.

Teresa: And besides, this is a simple plan. It's when you start getting costumes and props that I get nervous.
Grace: Trick plays like this, my dad calls them "Chewing Gum" plays. Sometimes you fool the other guy, and sometimes you end up with gum in your hair.

Patrick: The killer plans to bring his victim back to this room. And when he does, we're gonna be here to greet him. How sweet is that?
Teresa: This is all a big, elaborate joke you're gonna apologize for now, yes?
Patrick: Whoever killed Melanie had to be there that night at Shand Creek. Your timeline proves it. There's no way anyone else could have done it. One of the twenty people there that night killed Melanie. All twenty of those people are there now, today. Including the killer.
Teresa: [skeptical] And he's gonna try it again today. Come on.
Patrick: No, no. Yes, yes, that's just the point. Yes, he is gonna try again.
[showing her the bleach, plastic tarp, and gloves under the sink]
Patrick: He's planning on it. And he's gonna try again today because we're gonna make him try again, because he's not in control of his desires. He's been thinking of nothing else but this perverse craving of his. He's gotten so close, he's desperate to go all the way. All we need to do is present him with something he can't resist. Something that he will jump at and damn the consequences. Give it a try. If I'm wrong, there's no harm done.

Teresa: What's your take on Partridge?
Patrick: If he is Red John, he's a very good actor.
Teresa: He would have to be, wouldn't he?

Teresa: I'm a far cry from what I was in high school.
Patrick: Well, wouldn't be so sure. Driven to succeed to the point of developing an ulcer. No tolerance for superiors less sharp than yourself. Shutting out girls that wanted to hang out with you. Blowing off boys that want to get close. All the while at every turn wondering "What is it I really want?"
Teresa: No.
Patrick: And you played an instrument. My guess. Hmmm, clainet.
Teresa: Not even close. We're done here.

Teresa: Play nice, Van Pelt's entitled to her opinion.
Patrick: Not if it's wrong. This is like believing in the Easter Bunny.
Wayne: Who said there's no Easter Bunny?

[last lines]
Patrick: Well, you can say it now.
Teresa: I don't really feel like saying it. Let me take a rain check on that.
Patrick: Sure.
Teresa: [about the message left by Renfrew] What do you think it means?
Patrick: It means Red John is far more powerful than I ever thought. He's been way ahead of me this whole time.
Teresa: I mean the writing on the wall.
Patrick: Oh, I have no idea.
Teresa: Well it's a good clue though, isn't it? Jared was trying to tell us something important.
Patrick: Maybe.
Teresa: Next time. We'll get him.
Patrick: Next time.
[the prostitute's cell phone plays a Latin tune. Jane answers. He hears breathing]
Patrick: Hello.
[a voice laughs evilly on the other end]

Patrick: [about to enter a warehouse] You wouldn't want me to get hurt, would you?
Teresa: Don't bet on it.

[last lines]
Teresa: What now?
Patrick: I don't know.
Teresa: Van Pelt found some coded files on Bertram's flash drive. Should we get started on those?
Patrick: [getting on the elevator] No, it's a waste of time. We're done. There's nothing more to do here. Just go home, get some rest.
Teresa: You're not quitting. I don't believe it.
Patrick: No, I'm not quitting. I'm letting go. It's out of our hands for now. I'll be in touch. Okay?
[as the doors close]
Patrick: I'm sorry. For everything.

Teresa: So you think the suicide was staged?
Patrick: Well, it's not to say he's without his secrets. We all have secrets, don't we? And Christmas, well, it's full of contradictions. The man that dedicated his life to spreading joy could very likely be hiding a - what is this?
[Jane picks an ornament from the tree]
Teresa: What?
Patrick: Oh... a sobriety chip.

Patrick: [to Nicole] Wherever you go until you know the truth of what happened, you will be haunted. Until you see Kara's death redeemed, you will be haunted. You have to know the truth.

Mike: Do you enjoy police work?
Patrick: Hm...
Mike: Patrick?
Patrick: Uh, yeah, I'm thinking. Uh... yes and no... uh, yeah, sometimes... and sometimes not.
Mike: Forget it, Steve. Why do you so dislike being filmed?
Patrick: [stands up and whispers] Because you're stealing my soul.

Dr. Saban: This is wrong.
Patrick: Oh, please.
Dr. Saban: Ethel was dignified in live. She'd want to remain so in death.
Patrick: Doctor, you of all people should know there's nothing dignified about death.

Tom: If I may say so, what I do very much resent is the tone of your questioning.
Teresa: I'm - sorry if we've offended you.
Patrick: No, don't say that. This is a murder investigation. I can be as hard assed as I'd like to be. Thank you.
Teresa: [Quietly to Jane] Actually it's not a murder investigation yet. If Mr. Warren dies, which seems likely, it'll *become* a murder investigation.
Patrick: Oh yeah, that's right. He's not dead. Uh... well I apologize for my rudeness. Heh.

Red: Tiger! Tiger! Burning bright In the forests of the night, What immortal hand or eye Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

Dane: I don't know what you're talking about. But you mean to be offensive, I guess. And you've succeeded very well. And I'm going to be taking this up with your superiors. What is your name?
Patrick: My name is Patrick Jane.
Teresa: [Quietly to Jane] Jane stop.
Patrick: And I have no superiors. And I'll tell you what I'm talking about you sweaty little pervert.

Teresa: [Lisbon's got bomb vest strapped to her] Uh does the lock have any wires attached to it? Er um...
Patrick: There's a bunch. That's not good, is it?
Teresa: Don't pick the lock!

Rulon: It's not my fault I look like this.
Kimball: It is, actually. With a low-carb diet and exercise, you could look very different.

Teresa: You're gonna owe me big time.
Patrick: For what exactly?
Teresa: [Lisbon picks up a paperweight and prepares to throw it at Jane] Oh?
Patrick: Ah! Two words- anger management.
[Lisbon puts the weight down. Jane leaves. Then Jane pops his head back into Lisbon's office]
Patrick: Hey. Thank you.

Sam: You know that think you said about Jane making you a better cop - you don't believe that?
Teresa: I may have exaggerated for effect.

Luther: The trouble is, I mean, even if you're right, we can't arrest an offender before he's offended.
Patrick: It's better than after, don't you think? See, here's the problem with working homicide: so much death.

Sadie: How do you tell a 6-year-old her father's never coming home?
Patrick: Well, she pretty much knows already. She just doesn't understand.

Patrick: [about LaRoche] I threatened to reveal his dark secret.
Teresa: Which is what?
Patrick: I have no idea. I was bluffing. It must be something horrible.

Wayne: So listen, delicate question.
Kimball: Yes.
Wayne: Thursday quiz nights: strictly no bosses as you know. Should we give your spot to Lisbon? Feels kind of weird.
Kimball: Do what you feel is right.
Wayne: Or should we just hang on to your spot - in case you screw up.
[Cho glares at Rigsby]
Wayne: It's just a joke.
Kimball: Yeah, funny.
Wayne: You're gonna make a Hell of a boss, man. I'm already scared of you.

Teresa: That's interesting, but you could have told me that on the phone.
Patrick: I needed a visitor. So I could get into the visitors' room.
Teresa: How I wish I had my gun.
Patrick: Crimefighting's hard. Suck it up.

D.D.A. Osvaldo Ardiles: We're dropping charges against Lawrence Rome.
Kimball: I see.
D.D.A. Osvaldo Ardiles: Now, personally I think the alibi is bogus, but we had to interview the store owner again. Now he says, uh, maybe his ID was wrong. Maybe it wasn't Lawrence Rome. Whole thing's gone down the toilet. We had an agreement.
Kimball: I agreed I shouldn't help. Didn't say I wouldn't.
D.D.A. Osvaldo Ardiles: From now on, you get nothing from the D.A.'s office. No favors, no help. Not just you, but every agent in this unit. You have screwed things for your people, my friend. Six months from now, Lawrence Rome'll be back inside for ripping off another liquor store, his kid'll be be back in foster care, and the South Side Mafia will be stronger than ever.
Kimball: You're wrong.
D.D.A. Osvaldo Ardiles: You want to bet on that?

Teresa: I know about your dad. I'm your boss. Steven Robert Rigsby - convicted of manslaughter, assault, drug dealing. Your father was on the list, wasn't he?
Wayne: I checked out his alibi. No special treatment. If you want to send someone else...
Teresa: I trust you, Rigsby. However, if you *ever* come into contact with your father on a case, next time you bring somebody with you.
Wayne: Yeah, okay.

Nurse: [Over the PA system] Patrick Jane to O.R. 8, stat. If you can hear my voice, Patrick, move your ass to O.R. 8.

Patrick: She was unwrapping her hand - the moment I was waiting for.
Teresa: To crash the vehicle?
Patrick: It seemed like a smart idea at the time.

Teresa: 11 years in Catholic school and I never got sent to the Principal's office once.
Patrick: Well that's because you're a boring goody two shoes.
Teresa: I didn't say I never did anything bad. I just never got caught.

[Jane grabs Candice's purse and begins to rifle through it]
Candice: Hey!
Patrick: It's okay, I'm a consultant. Candice, take my advice: Forgive your mother. Maybe the headaches will stop.
Candice: I love my mother.
Patrick: Oh, I'm wrong. Ignore my advice.

Patrick: You don't want to pull that trigger. You think you do... you think it'll turn off that vacancy sign in your soul. But the truth is: taking a life just makes things a lot more complicated. Believe me.
Henry: I don't expect to live past today.
Patrick: But you can. You haven't hurt anyone yet. You put that gun away and we'll get you the help you need.
Henry: I think it's too late for me - and everyone here.

Teresa: I'm sorry, that was embarrassing.
Passenger: Oh, shush, honey. Every woman on this plane is green with envy.

Alan: I already told them I won't say anything without my lawyer present.
Teresa: I don't care.
[she studies him for a moment]
Teresa: You're hiding something.
Alan: What?
Teresa: I never would have noticed something like this before, but I've been working for a very long time with somebody who's good at seeing into people; what they're thinking, feeling. I can tell there's something you're worried we're gonna find out about you.
Alan: That's ridiculous.
Teresa: I'm guessing it has something to do with the black magic. Something violent or sexual, maybe both. But judging by how freaked out you are, I'd say it's something really bad.
Alan: I am not freaked out. And my interests, such as they are, are purely academic. I don't know what you think...
Teresa: Shut up. I don't care what kind of kinky stuff you're into. I have a friend who's in danger and maybe you can help save him. It's possible he's being held by somebody from that blood group of yours. I want their names.
Alan: I don't know any names. It's an online community, and... I shouldn't even be talking to you.
Teresa: You're lying. I can tell. You have names. You've met them, some of them. I don't think you understand how important this is to me. You give me a name, you can walk out that door right now. You don't, and I will dig up every dirty secret you have!
Alan: You'll what?
Teresa: I will tell everybody you know; your coworkers, your friends, your family. You are not gonna be able to hide!
Alan: You... you're threatening me?
Teresa: It's not a threat. It's a promise.
Alan: You can't! That's... that's illegal.
Teresa: [gesturing to the one-way mirror] My boss is right back there. Tell him. Get me fired, ruin my career. I don't care. I want those names.

Teresa: How can we be of help, Agent Smith?
Reede: We caught a body. I thought it might interest you.
Patrick: And why would you say that?
Reede: You tell me.
Patrick: [studying the body, he notices a distinctive cuff link] This is Benjamin Marx.
Reede: The guy you buried alive.
Patrick: Excuse me, the *killer* I buried alive. And I did let him out, eventually.
Reede: Not bad. That's a tough ID, considering most of his face is burned off. What do you think happened to him?
Patrick: You're the FBI. I'm sure you have the answers already.
Reede: Okay. Tell me what I've come up with.
Patrick: Well, the first thing you'd notice is that he was tortured, with fire and whatever it is people use to cut someone's thumbs off.
Reede: And what do I think he was tortured for?
Patrick: Well, your guess would be sadistic pleasure, but you'd be wrong. More likely he was tortured for information. Information that he didn't have.
Reede: How do you know he didn't have it?
Patrick: Because if he had it, the killer would only have had to burn off half his face.

Teresa: Detective, can you uncuff this one now please?
Detective: He's still a suspect.
Teresa: He is not gonna leave town; release him into my custody, you know he's not good for it, zero connection to the victim.
Patrick: Nada, niente, zip, nought... I could go on.
Teresa: I am reaching out to you Detective, I know this man and I know he's telling the truth about what happened.
Teresa: [Outside] The truth, now!
Patrick: Beg your pardon?
Teresa: Talk or I will give you back to Detective Reece, seriously!

Patrick: Erica, it's over. I'm sure of it.
Erica: Don't be. Not everyone's as smart as you.

Patrick: See that face? That's exactly why I didn't tell you the plan.
Teresa: It's not a good plan.
Patrick: It's a good enough plan and Rigsby is wearing one of those ear thingies, I will talk him through the con. He'll be fine.
Teresa: What if the killer doesn't show up?
Patrick: Then we go back to old fashioned police work. But this way we get to enjoy some room service. Please, have a seat.

Patrick: Your cats find the body yet?
Kim: What body?
Patrick: The body hidden on the roof of Abel Schneiderman's building.
Kim: You saw it?
Patrick: No, but there's a large pile of soil just by the garden. And winter is almost upon us, so what is that soil doing there? That's a rhetorical question. The soil is there to make room for Cleo, Mrs. Schneiderman's psychic. He went missing the same time as her husband.
Kim: What are you talking about?
Patrick: Abel found out his wife was sleeping with her psychic, so he killed him in the bedroom. Abel doesn't own a car, so he cut up the body into pieces and buried them in the garden. Your kidnap victim isn't kidnapped; he's a killer and he's on the run.
Kim: You're good.
Patrick: Thank you.
Kim: A good liar.

Kimball: You okay?
Teresa: I'm fine. The doctors say Jane's stable. There's no major trauma or anything. He's just not awake.

Luther: You want me to believe that a man who confessed to murder did nothing and a man who did nothing is a murderer?
Patrick: You may even be smarter than you look.

Teresa: Red John has been ahead of us this entire time. I know you say he's not psychic, but I'm not sure. You said yourself that when Red John killed Eileen Turner, it was like he reached inside your head and killed a happy memory. How could he do that if he's not psychic?
Patrick: That's a good question.

Patrick: If you need some help I can help you, I mean, murder is my business.

Hotel: When I was outside the room, I heard them struggling. Then heard the victim cry out when he was stabbed. But then I got the door open, he was all alone.
Teresa: Window's open.
Patrick: It's a long way down. And a long way up to the roof. I don't think he went that way.
Hotel: So, what? Magic?
Patrick: Nope. Just a trick.
Ray: [entering] And we all know how good you are at those, don't we? Tricks, I mean. Hey, Teresa.
Teresa: Ray. What are you doing here? You don't work at the CBI anymore.
Ray: I'm with a client.
Patrick: He works for Visualize.
Jason: [entering behind Ray] He does. And this is a Visualize matter.
Hotel: Who are they?
Patrick: Uh, this is Jason Cooper. Errand boy for cult leader Bret Stiles, and Ray Haffner, who is a member of the cult.
Jason: Visualize is not a cult. And it is exactly bigotry like that that leads to murders like this.

Patrick: Nothing wows like vintage Madonna.

George: That was a Class 5-B Vault door. I was told that no one get through it. Insurance damn well had better pay!
Teresa: A good safe cracker can get through anything with the right tools and enough time.

Teresa: We need to talk about tomorrow night.
Patrick: I've already told you.
Teresa: Just hear me out, please. You don't want me to be there.
Patrick: No. I don't.
Teresa: You don't want me to be there because you think I'm gonna try and stop you from killing Red John.
Patrick: Are you saying that you won't?
Teresa: What I'm saying is some men, men like Red John, they don't deserve a trial, they don't deserve a jury. They deserve what they have coming to them.
Patrick: Wait, let me get this straight. After close to twenty years working in law enforcement, you're just... you're changing your mind?
Teresa: About Red John, yes.
Patrick: I'm surprised, Lisbon.
Teresa: What? You don't believe me?
Patrick: Heavens, no. You're the most honest person I know. You would never lie, not about something like this. Right?
Teresa: Right.
Patrick: Tomorrow night, then.
Teresa: Tomorrow night.

Sheriff: Well, Patrick, here we are.
[about Bertram, lying on the ground dead]
Sheriff: Poor fellow. Smart, but dumb. It never occurred to him that I am the Blake Association.
Patrick: Why'd you have to kill him?
Sheriff: Everything thinks he's Red John, don't they? So it would seem a fitting end to the story if you two were found dead together. No one will look any deeper.
Patrick: So I'm suppose to die, am I? After all these years, seems kind of unfair.
Sheriff: [in the high-pitched Red John voice] It's totally fair. Game's over and I won.
Patrick: It's not a game.
Sheriff: [normally] There's a winner and a loser. That's a game.
Patrick: It's not a game I asked to play.
Sheriff: No, but you played it very well nonetheless. You were fun, challenging. Thank you.

Wayne: We'd like to start by talking to members of the Women's Committee.
Heather: Sure.
[Gets ready to speak into the microphone]
Wayne: Uh, perhaps we'd uh, gather them more discreetly.
Heather: Everyone here will know in minutes anyhow.
[Speaking into the microphone]
Heather: Jackie, Patience, Mandy, the Police are here. They want to talk us about Scarlett's murder. Come to the Rose Courtyard. And everybody, silent auction closes shortly. So get those bids in, folks.
[to Rigsby and Jane]
Heather: I'll show you the way.

Patrick: I'm not your boss. Why would you say that?
Teresa: Just sometimes now you act like you are.
Patrick: We're equals. Partners.
Teresa: Fine. Just remember that.

Wayne: All I'm saying, you can't say there's no such thing as a psychic just because you've never met one.
Kendall: You're right. I've never seen a zebra, doesn't mean they don't exist.
Wayne: Never seen a zebra?
Kendall: Nah.
Wayne: Never been to a zoo?
Kendall: Yeah I don't get zoos. You pay money to look at animals, why?

Teresa: You said you had a fight with the victim. About what?
Duesterberg: Truffles.
Teresa: Truffles?
Patrick: Yes, they're a very pricey fungus.

Patrick: [Rigsby is hypnotised but Lisbon doesn't believe it] Deeply hypnotised subjects are very suggestible and have very little inhibition. Rigsby, do me a favour. Close your eyes
[Rigsby looks doubtful]
Patrick: Please?
[Rigsby closes his eyes]
Patrick: Now, relax. Don't tell me but think about it. Think about what you most wanna be doing right now. You can do anything you like in the whole room.
[Van Pelt begins to look uncomfortable]
Patrick: What are you gonna do? Now I want you to open your eyes and do it. Do whatever you like.
[Rigsby opens his eyes. He looks around and chuckles. Van Pelt turns and moves away. Rigsby gets up, follows her, pulls her into his arms and kisses her passionately while the others look on]
Patrick: Now that's what I'm talking about.
Kimball: Huh.
Teresa: OK, he's hypnotised.

Kimball: Rigsby and I can go. You should stay off that ankle.
Teresa: I'm fine. I'll go.
[Lisbon starts to rise. Hightower enters]
Teresa: Agent Hightower. Hi.
Madeleine: Um, I heard you took a fall.
Teresa: [Lisbon scoffs] I'm fine.
[Lisbon falls]
Teresa: Ow! I'm fine.

Virgil: And he found you there because...
Teresa: Uh, we got a call from the Coroner's Bureau. There was report of a corpse in a house, but they were short handed - budget cuts. So they asked us to go check it out. My team went in the house. The corpse was there, but the coroner wasn't. So we waited.
Virgil: And everyone almost died in a hail of bullets.

Patrick: Prosecutor says that Timothy Carter wasn't Red John. Well... Carter told me himself that he was Red John, but I... I can't prove that. The forensic evidence is inconclusive, his wife refuses to talk to anyone, refuses to speak at all, so she's no use to us. What about Carter's records? Surely there must be some clues there. No. On paper, this man seems to appear out of nowhere five years ago. Before that, nothing. Why? Because Timothy Carter is an invented identity, a mask. I'm not guilty of killing Timothy Carter because Timothy Carter never existed. There is no Timothy Carter. There is only Red John. Red John started killing people twelve years ago. It's hard to put an exact number on how many people he's killed, but it's somewhere around 28. Nearly all women, late at night, in their homes. He wakes them first because he likes to see the fear in their eyes. He likes to hear them beg for mercy as he cuts them open. He did that to my wife and daughter, and I've been looking for him ever since. Looking for personal vengeance. I believe that's... my right. I have the right to kill the man that killed my family. I don't say I shouldn't be punished for doing what I did, I feel I had no choice. What would you do?

Patrick: You really want me to tell you? It's gonna ruin the surprise.
Teresa: Yes. I don't like surprises.
Patrick: Three guesses then.
[Lisbon shakes her head]
Patrick: I'll give you a hint.
[Lisbon walks away]
Patrick: It's-it's not animal or vegetable.

Sam: I'll handle it. Will you please trust me?
Teresa: I'm sorry. You don't understand. Later you will.
Sam: Are - are you medicated or something?
Teresa: Okay, I'm all right! I'm fine.
[Notices everyone staring at her]
Teresa: WHAT THE HELL IS EVERYBODY LOOKING AT? I'M FINE! JUST STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! I'M DONE WITH THIS CRAP! I AM DONE! Get out my way! I'm sick of everybody!

Patrick: Oh, come on. You've been a cop for a long time. What you don't know is how much you know without knowing it. Take a guess and run with it.

Christopher: You have misread the situation agents. I am entirely ignorant of whatever it is you are accussing me of.
Wayne: You're lying. Got the phone records. Called your goons and told them to lock those women up so they could escape.

Grace: What was that?
Wayne: Probably rats.
Grace: Ugh, God no. I *hate* rats.
Wayne: Oh, it's just a ghost then.
Grace: You don't believe in ghosts.
Wayne: Yeah, but you do. Go upstairs if you like. I'll take this one.
Grace: Oh, thanks. That's okay.

Patrick: Even a broken clock gets to be right twice a day.

Patrick: If we catch Red John, he's not walking anywhere. He's mine.
Teresa: Don't talk like that. I can't let you anywhere near the case if you start talking crazy like that.
Patrick: Crazy? You're crazy if you think you're gonna stop me. Red John is mine. You try to stand in my way and you... I... you... you will regret it.

James: Oh uh, congratulations by the way.
Patrick: Thank you. For what?
James: You killed Red John.
Patrick: Oh right. Yes.
James: What was it like?
Patrick: Yeah, uh, not as satisfying as you might think.

Dennis: We can't arrest people under false pretenses.
Patrick: We can't?
Dennis: No.
Patrick: Why not?
Kim: It's illegal.
Patrick: Oh. Well, that's a problem.

Patrick: Well, I would like to pay this ticket - but under protest.
Zach: Nobody pays any other way.

Donny: [seeing Lisbon] A lady cop? I can get behind that, better a dumb cop that looks pretty than a dumb bra-
[Lisbon punches him]

Wayne: You played golf with Sonny Battaglia?
Patrick: Yeah. Sonny, uh... well... I did. Mm-hmm.
Teresa: What'd you learn?
Patrick: He didn't kill Russo. And golf is oddly very easy.
Teresa: And you're sure of this?
Patrick: Mm. I'm very sure. It's all about rhythm. Anyone could do it.
[Lisbon gives him a sarcastic smile]
Patrick: Yeah, Sonny Battaglia's clean; at least I think. It's hard to say with a sociopath.

Patrick: There's this little cabin in the hill country. Rustic, charming, very romantic.
Teresa: Rustic as in no running water, or...?
Patrick: Well, would that be a problem?
Teresa: When you said "let's go away for the weekend", I was kinda hoping for the kind of place that leaves the mint on the pillow.

Patrick: [Quoting Sun Tzu] If you sit down by the river and wait long enough, you will see the bodies of your enemies float by.

Dennis: Oh, speak of the devil, a text from Jane. "Soz". Soz?
Kimball: SOS!

Teresa: No food, no water. This is not good.
Patrick: Well, I suppose we should draw straws to see who eats who first.

Patrick: I brought you doughnuts - the international law enforcement symbol of friendship.

Patrick: What kind of tree is this?
Chief: Couldn't say.
Patrick: Smells good. So you're not a local?
Chief: Born five miles down the road. Just don't give a crap about trees.

Wayne: I sent out the vibes. I got none back. Okay? So leave me alone.
Patrick: Vibes. Really? Vibes?
Kimball: That's where he stares at the back of her neck for several hours. Women love that.
Wayne: Shut up Cho!

Patrick: Why offer only six dimensions? Is--is it to hold off a couple of dimensions to sell later?
Bret: [laughs] No, I think six is quite enough.

Patrick: [filling out their marriage license] If I'd just remembered how tedious this aspect of the marriage is, I might not have asked you.
Teresa: Shush!
Patrick: No, seriously. I'm only on page two. You know, I could just give you the ring and we could elope.
Teresa: Don't be mean. No take backs.

Kimball: All I was able to find at Dr. Brooke Harper's apartment. Bank account emptied, credit cards maxed out. She must have been packed and ready to leave days ago. Her Social Security number and medical license are fakes, too. We have no idea who this woman is.
Teresa: Well, we know that she's smart. She posed as a doctor for seven months, managed to elude you and Rigsby.
Kimball: Well, she had a head start. She didn't elude us.
[seeing Jane's expression]
Kimball: All right, she eluded us.
Patrick: Well, she's a professional con woman. I mean, she probably specializes in the seduction of rich and successful, socially awkward men.
Teresa: You think she's done this before?
Patrick: Oh, yes. Many times.

Hope: Are you guys cops?
Wayne: CBI.
Hope: What's CBI?
Wayne: California Bureau of Investigation.
Patrick: Cops.

Samantha: Danny doesn't always do what's best for his own best interest. Tendency to outfox himself.
Patrick: True. But he asked for my help. That's what I'm giving him.

Patrick: [quietly] So if you say you'll give us the videos, the killer will identify himself. He will be the man that insists most forcefully that you shouldn't give them to us.
Bret: What if I killed her?
Patrick: You?... You wouldn't hurt a fly.
Bret: [chuckles, then loudly] Patrick has offered a very, um, persuasive argument. I'm going to be handing over the videos to him.

Kimball: Did you kill David Seung?
KS: Who?
[Cho kicks him]
KS: Good to see you too, bro. Haven't changed much.

Patrick: I've got to call Hightower.
Teresa: Hightower? Why?
Patrick: Voicemail. Hey, Hightower. It's Jane. Just wanted to let you know, that, uh, there's going to be what you like to call "foolishness" going on at Ethel Sebring's funeral. That's it. Have a great day.
[Jane ends the call. Then to Lisbon]
Patrick: She told me to call. Better hurry.
[Jane heads towards the funeral]
Teresa: Jane.

Kimball: Where were you yesterday, Ted?
Ted: Well, I was several places, Kimball.
Kimball: We're gonna need a list.
Ted: We? I only see one of you.
Kimball: I, and the state machinery of oppression's gonna need a list.

Grace: The AMA and Boston General both have records of a doctor named Brooke Harper.
Teresa: See?
Grace: Uh, but it says here that she's 64 years old.
Patrick: Wow. She looks pretty good.
Teresa: Is there a word for uncanny, yet irritating?

Teresa: [after Jane gets hit] Are you okay?
Patrick: Assault. Assault.
Teresa: I would rethink this new technique of yours.
Patrick: I can't disagree.

Teresa: Can you think of anybody who might want to harm your husband?
Ann: Jim was a well-liked man. But he stuck to his principles. And that's a dangerous thing to do in this business.

Keith: I'm not in it for the money. You know, music's a... it's a spiritual thing.
Patrick: Yeah it is. So's money. Everything that exists has a spiritual essence or none at all.

Grace: Is this all it's going to be? Sneaking around all the time, afraid someone's going to find out.
Wayne: No. It's just the bureau rules. Rules are rules, right?
Grace: Maybe I'm sick of the rules.

Heather: Where is it?
[She follows Patrick]
Patrick: You're standing on top of it.
Heather: Under the carpet?
Patrick: It is the carpet, touch it-pure silk.
Heather: [feels the carpet] It looks so old.
Patrick: It's very old, I've got to call this in.
Heather: Wait, if you do call it in, the legal system would never sort this out, it'd probably end up locked away in some government locker.
Patrick: Probably.
Heather: What if we take it?
Patrick: You want us to take the carpet, sell it and divide the profits between us.
[chuckles]
Patrick: That's a great idea, 50/50 split?
Heather: 50/50 split.
Patrick: [They shake hands] What did Fisher say when you suggested that to him?
Heather: Fisher was a soft headed fool.
Patrick: [walks away] Oh, so Heather you knew about the money, you knew he was never in the Peace Corps?
Heather: I never said that.
Patrick: No, No, No, he told you about the money, he told you about his identity and you shot him.
[turns his back]
Patrick: I need to call this in, Lisbon will be very happy to know.
[Heather draws a gun]
Patrick: Are you pointing a gun at me?
[Turns around with his phone in an almost open hand]
Heather: Teddy was not who he said he was, the man I loved was in the Peace Corps, he was going to save the world then I found out he was a soldier, he was a killer!
Patrick: So you shot him, that's a little counterintuitive?
Heather: You don't understand, you can only see things from your bourgois government minds, do you know how much good we could do with all that money, how many animal shelters we could save? When I told him, he talked to me like I was some sort of criminal!
Patrick: Well you are...
Heather: No, blessed is what I am, the universe wants me to have this money, I'm sorry, I have to kill you now but I'm doing it from a place of love.
Kimball: [enters] Freeze! Drop your weapon!
Heather: [dropping the gun] Wow!

Kristina: How are you going to protect me? If Red John comes through that door right now, what are you going to do, hypnotize him?
Patrick: I will do what I need to do.
Kristina: If Red John wants to reach me, he will. I choose to believe that he doesn't want to. Now, go away!
Patrick: I'm gone.

[deleted scene]
Patrick: Would you drop me at the airport, please?
Teresa: You're leaving?
Patrick: Well, I have to get my shoes x-rayed anyway, so I figured I'd get on a plane.
Teresa: And off you go on your merry way. These lives lost here mean nothing to you.
Patrick: Not nothing.
[seeing her expression]
Patrick: I'm confused. You don't want me here and it's not Red John, so I'm going. What's your problem?
Teresa: We don't know that it's not Red John, and what I want is not the point.
[realization dawns on her]
Teresa: Oh. Wait a minute. I get it. You're just trying to get me to ask you to stay.
Patrick: Why would you think that?
[to Cho]
Patrick: Why would she think that?
Teresa: Because A, you've got nowhere to go, and B, you're an egomaniac. You think it's impossible that I really and truly do not want to work with you. You think that deep down inside, I've got a grudging respect for your genius. The truth is, deep down, I'm scared of you. You've got no boundaries, you got no common sense. You're filled with all this... this stuff that you refuse to acknowledge. One day, you're gonna create one mother of a tragedy for yourself and everybody around you. I don't want to be there when it happens, so we'll drive you to the airport. It's fine.
[to Rigsby]
Teresa: Take a left on Bob Hope.

Patrick: Rigsby, you're right. You shouldn't be here. Let us take this. You go find the nearest library.
Wayne: Why?
Patrick: Your punishment for being a wuss is I'm not going to tell you.

[about the woods they're in]
Patrick: It's lovely.
Teresa: It's a crime scene.
Patrick: It's a lovely crime scene.

Teresa: What are you doing?
Patrick: [Eating] Oh, um, Trying to get the taste of salty food out of my mouth. Pot de crème. It's basically, uh, pretentious chocolate pudding.

Hector: You want a sound bite? Fine! People who traffick in humans are like cockroaches hiding in the dark. You have to expose them to the light.

Teresa: No, I just think people can celebrate a holy day without lying to children about a magical fat guy with a sack full of toys.
Patrick: So you took the whole Santa revelation badly, huh?
Teresa: Crushed my heart like a cigarette.
Patrick: Explains why you're still looking for magic in your life.

Teresa: What's your problem?
Patrick: Uh, it's just a room full of people lying to each other. Everyone here is trying so hard to show how much they've changed, when the mere *effort* screams that they haven't.
Teresa: Or they actually do change - with exceptions like Mr. Hair Plugs, of course...
[points around]
Teresa: You've got the rebel who took the bank job... The player who stays faithful to his wife...
Patrick: The rebel took the bank job because she sees her rebellion is fruitless. The player stays faithful to his wife because the consequence of infidelity is much greater now. But their instincts - their instincts never change.

Patrick: [to Sam Sparks] Good thing for you, you're a terrible liar. It's all about the eye contact.

Teresa: I'm sorry. My family's messy.
Patrick: Oh, no need. Messy people are good people.
Teresa: I'm not messy.
Patrick: You're messy on the inside.

Kimball: You don't help us because you like us.
Patrick: I don't like you?
Kimball: Well, you don't NOT like us. But you have deeper reasons for helping people. Without those reasons you're a hustler.

Sam: I'm gonna say it then. The doctors better be right. I love you, Teresa.
Teresa: I love you too.
Sam: No. I mean I love you.
Teresa: I know what you mean.
Sam: It had to be said.

Teresa: Seems like this whole thing changed your mind about vengeance.
Patrick: Huh?
Teresa: "Revenge is for fools and mad men."
Patrick: That was rather good, I though. Total nonsense, but quite good nonetheless.

Teresa: Patrick, you were trying to help me. You were! You thought if I made a big bust, the POC would get off my back.
Patrick: You know, I'm always going to save you Lisbon. Whether you like it or not.
Teresa: I don't need to be saved. I know this would end in disaster the day I signed on with you. One day, I'm going to get fired because of you. That's just the way it is.
Patrick: Well, some people might ask why you signed on with me in the first place.
Teresa: Catch a lot of bad guys. Most days that's enough.

Kimball: They've done six jobs. They must have left us something to work with.
Agent: Well, they've only slipped up once. We found a glove a few blocks from a gallery they robbed in Phoenix. We managed to get a partial print and we got a hit. Aaron Pulaski. Time for armed robbery and battery. He's also the former middleweight boxing champ at Folsom Prison.
Kimball: And you can't charge a man for owning a glove.
Agent: Yeah. We brought him in for questioning, but he lawyered up quick and culled the siv. These guys are pros.
Teresa: If he's a known felon, we should have his known associates, hangouts, stuff like that.
Agent: We do, but nothing's popped. Doesn't seem to have a lot of friends, he hangs out a lot at a bar on Sixth Street.
Teresa: We could set a tail on him.
Patrick: Ehh, they could be waiting for weeks. Uh, my plan is a little more elaborate, but it's much more entertaining.
Kimball: Of course it is.

Nathan: $2.8 billon in assets. We're going down.
Kimball: Why?
Nathan: My partner thought he was kidnapped by little green men.
Kimball: Grey.
Nathan: What?
Kimball: The little men. They're grey.

Patrick: Well, if you care so much, how come you let her throw money away on this uh, psychic.
Deke: Never bothered you when it was you, Mr. Jane. Yeah, I heard about you. You nearly squeezed Beth dry.

Lorelei: God, you're just like him, you know that? Relentless manipulation.
Patrick: I am nothing like him.
Lorelei: How would you know? I know. I only wonder why the two of you didn't become lifelong friends the moment you shook hands.

Teresa: You're untrustworthy. It's my job not to trust you.
Patrick: Lisbon. I want you to know that you can trust me. No matter what happens I will be there for you. I will. I need you to know that. Now can I catch you?

Sam: See that's my exact point. There *is* a problem. There is no rule bending in the CBI. You two guys are good agents, but Jane has corrupted you.
Wayne: No he hasn't.
Sam: So you were ready to bend the rules *before* he got here?
Kimball: Thanks for your time.
Sam: Nice talking to you.

Patrick: Press redial. Tell whoever answers - tell him O'Laughlin is dead.
Red: [Lisbon hits redial] Hey.
Teresa: This is Agent Lisbon. O'Laughlin's dead.
Red: That's too bad. Never mind. You win some. You lose some.
Teresa: [to Jane] He said never mind. You win some. You lose some.
Red: [Notices Jane approaching him] I'll call you back.

Teresa: Tell me the truth.
Patrick: Truth. Darth Vader? Luke's father.

Patrick: I get it. I've been down. Snitches get stitches.
Nick: See now that's a popular misconception. The stitches are for the living.
Patrick: Got it.

Grace: Five hundred years in the future, it could be totally normal to communicate with the other side.
Patrick: The other side? Your father's a football coach, yeah?
Grace: How did you know that?
Patrick: It's obvious from your whole demeanor. My point is, didn't dad always say life is like football? When that final whistle blows, the game is over, done. There is no more. There is no other side. This is it. Lobster and bread rolls and nautical kitsch and then, psh. Nothingness.

Patrick: Lisbon. Lisbon. I - you - this. Lisbon...
Teresa: Bite me! We're done for the night!
[Everyone leaves]
Patrick: "Bite me?"
Teresa: It's too much?
Patrick: Uh, a smidge. Worked. It's fine. Just a little over the top.

Teresa: Who do you think did it?
Patrick: Jabba the Hutt.
Teresa: Seriously.
Patrick: Ming the Merciless.
Teresa: Okay.
Patrick: Alf?
Teresa: When the aliens do come, I hope they eat you.

Teresa: Nice work. For this you illegally abducted her from the Sherrif's custody.
Patrick: Yeah, I was - I was going to tell you about it. But I figured seeing as it's illegal, best to keep you out of it. So that you have deniability.
Teresa: Oh, how considerate of you.

[first lines]
Dennis: [Lisbon enters the empty CBI office] Lisbon. I'm glad you can join us.
Teresa: Traffic.
Dennis: Hmm. Where's Jane?
Teresa: He'll be in to see you as soon as he's able.
Dennis: This way.

Wayne: Someone here knows the truth.
Patrick: Oh? And how so?
Wayne: Poison and a message in lipstick says this murder was done by a woman. And women have no secrets from other women.
Patrick: Well, unless it was a cunning man posing as a woman.

Grace: How 'bout you give us a statement, maybe help yourself?
Milton: How 'bout you kiss me? You're pretty.
Grace: So are you. Compared to most state prison inmates.

Wayne: So would you ever, uh... you know?
Kimball: Pay for sex? No.
Wayne: Yeah. It's weird right?
Kimball: Weird, no. Expensive.

Teresa: Just follow procedure. Have fun!
Patrick: Where is the fun in that?

Teresa: Sometimes a dark alley is just a dark alley.

Clinic: I will be calling your superiors!
Patrick: You know a lot of people say that to me. And you know what I say, I say...
Teresa: [Dragging Jane out] Let's go!

Melinda: Um, you guys aren't going to be much longer, are you? I mean no disrespect to the dead guy, but we're losing daylight.
Teresa: Ma'am, we'll do the best we can.

Teresa: All right then, look in the dumpsters. Let's get out of here.
Grace: I did it last time.
Wayne: Aw man, I just got this suit.
Kimball: Okay, rock/paper/scissors on three: one... two... three.

Teresa: We've made a breakthrough, sir.
Gale: In...?
Teresa: The Red John case.
Patrick: We're close to identifying him.
Gale: Well, then this is fantastic news. After all these years. You... you... you really think you've got him?
Patrick: I do.
Gale: I want to know the second you have something concrete.
Teresa: You will, sir.
Gale: And I want to be there when you end this.
Patrick: I was hoping you'd say that.

Patrick: [uncovering a dead body] Ah, it's a foot!

Patrick: I showed you my identification to discourage you from killing me or torturing me or something. You might not get arrested for it, but you sure will make some kind of fuss.
Shirali: I don't mind fuss. Anything to avoid boredom.

Teresa: There's no upside to taking the law into your own hands. Revenge truly doesn't work.
Patrick: Well, that's just a sweeping statement, isn't it? I'm sure we all can think of examples where revenge has worked splendidly.
Teresa: Thanks for your input.
Patrick: Just saying.

Patrick: Red John certainly made his point. Quite possibly, he'll leave things be.
Kristina: I know he will, I have a clear vision of him. He needs to create fear, that's all. He's done that for now, and he feels calm and perfectly safe.

Kimball: If I'm in charge, I have to be in charge for real.
Teresa: I will back you 100%. You're a senior agent. Show 'em what you've got.
Kimball: You sure?
Teresa: I'm positive. I'll clear out my office for you this afternoon.
Kimball: I don't want your office.
Teresa: I told you it's o...
Kimball: I prefer no walls between me and my team.

Patrick: [watching Agent Cho on a surveillance monitor flirting undercover] The kid's a natural. Look at him... look at him go. The Cho. No business like Cho business.

Teresa: The DUI, Zubov, he's an economist. He's in Fairmont for some sort of trade conference. He stayed on for vacation.
Patrick: Fascinating, but not what you really want to talk about.
Teresa: I cannot believe my brother is a bounty hunter.
Patrick: There we go.
Teresa: Why, all of a sudden he's some sort of tough guy? Who does he think he's fooling?
Patrick: Not you.
Teresa: You know what bugs me? He didn't even tell me. It's not like we don't talk. I could have told him this was a bad idea. All he had to do was pick up the phone and call, but instead, nothing.
Patrick: Wonder why that is.
Teresa: I basically raised that punk and his brothers. It's not my fault if he doesn't communicate.
[noticing Jane's smirk]
Teresa: Oh, you think it is my fault.
Patrick: No, I... I didn't say that. You said that. I say live and let live. We'd all be happier.
Teresa: Oh, mind your own business.

Wayne: You've any plans for tonight?
Grace: Home, TV.
Wayne: Well, have fun.
Grace: You too.
[walks off]
Kimball: You're gonna die alone

Patrick: Lisbon. So it's murder, is it?
Teresa: It is. Let's go to the news station the victim worked at.
Patrick: Ehhm, I'm kinda busy. Maybe later.
Teresa: That's not how it works. We have to do our jobs.
Patrick: Well I think you can do it, you're very capable.
Teresa: I'm not kidding. Come on, let's go.
Patrick: Okay, I'll go to the news station with you, get you started and then you're on your own, alright?
Teresa: I am not in the sixth grade, that doesn't work on me!
Patrick: I can't promise I'll always be around to help you Teresa. There will come a time when you might have to do this on your own. And I want you to be prepared.
Teresa: I am prepared to punch you in the face, all on my own.

Kimball: DId you know Madison Price?
Kenyon: No.
Kimball: According to Pam Parsons, Madison visited the camp several times. You never saw her?
Kenyon: Well, that wasn't your question. You asked me if I knew her, which I did not by any reasonable definition of the term. Upon reconsideration, I think it's possible that I did see her once or twice. We never spoke.
Kimball: You told Jane you didn't recognize her picture. Not many people can get an evasion like that past Jane.

Teresa: Do you keep a list of your pickups?
Paul: Yeah, of course. I have them here.
[Takes out phone]
Paul: Names, numbers, and a one-to-10 grading system.
Teresa: Nice. Something to show your grandkids.

Patrick: Well, we caught the bad guy.
Teresa: Yes, we did.
Patrick: Most days that's enough.
Teresa: Yep.
Patrick: You, uh, want to go to the range... shoot something?
Teresa: I'll drive.

Kimball: [about Lisbon] It's weird how mad she got. I mean, Jane's pulled way worse stunts than this. He buried a man alive once.
Dennis: Really?
Kimball: She wasn't nearly as angry as this.

FBI: What sort of evidence do you have on Panzer?
Teresa: Well, nothing.
Patrick: Well nothing concrete. Not your kind of evidence.
FBI: How about your kind of evidence?
Patrick: His medicine cabinet is too neat.

Teresa: You guys look into this Jasper character.
Patrick: Don't bother, he's a red herring.
Grace: What does it mean anyway? "A red herring?"
Teresa: A red herring is what you look into regardless of what Jane tells you.

Escort: The arresting officer advises protective custody.
Deputy: Are you a cop or a child rapist?
Patrick: Neither.

Kim: [about Jane] He made fools of us.
Kimball: It won't be the last time.

Teresa: Where are you going?
Patrick: Fresh air. All this murder talk is rank. It stinks to heaven. It hath the primal eldest curse upon't.

[Lisbon ignores Jane as he enters the CBI office]
Patrick: Good morning.
Grace: Can I help you?
Patrick: You must be Van Pelt. Pleasure. Patrick Jane.
Grace: Oh, hi. Good to meet you. Agent Cho said you left town.
Patrick: No. Nowhere to go.
Grace: Okay. Um... do you want that desk over there or this one? I mean, that one gets more light.
Patrick: That one. More light, by all means.
[Van Pelt leaves]
Patrick: Very pleasant addition to the Serious Crimes family.
Teresa: Oh. Hi. When did you get here?

Kimball: If dark forces did exist, stands to reason there could be people who control them for their own ends.
Patrick: They're called investment bankers, and they don't live around here.

Wayne: Any reports of crime on the trails? Robberies, assaults?
Ranger: No, just raccoons, birds, deer. Rattlesnakes, bear.
Wayne: I don't think a bear shot four people with a high-powered rifle.

Teresa: Wasn't my catch. Cho gets the credit. He's a good leader. You were right about him.
LaRoche: I'll include your sentiments in his file, as well as a commendation in your own.
Teresa: Thank you.
LaRoche: You are back in charge of your team, effective immediately.
Teresa: [Quietly] What?
[pause. Then louder]
Teresa: What?
LaRoche: You're back in charge.
Teresa: No, I heard you... Why was I pulled off in the first place?
LaRoche: Maybe I was messing with you... And it showed you I won't tolerate any disrespect... That'll be all.

Kristina: You think you manipulated me into coming with you, don't you?
Patrick: No, I don't. I think you manipulated me into thinking I manipulated you into coming with me.

Teresa: [to Minelli] You think that Sam Bosco's gonna let a little lead stop him? Please.

Patrick: Lisbon, I understand your precarious emotional state. Given you've just gotten your job back, and your sensitivity to the bureaucrats that are watching your every move.
Teresa: They are.
Patrick: Yes, but that's your thing. I gotta be me. I can't change who I am.
Teresa: No, but you can change where you are tomorrow at 12.

Teresa: So what's the deal? You know, I would think out of everybody, you'd be the most comfortable with the cameras.
Patrick: Last time I was in front of a camera, things uh, didn't turn out so well.
Teresa: Oh God, Jane. I'm sorry.
Patrick: You don't need to be sorry. And you're right. There's no reason not to be civil. I'm going to go apologize.

Dr. Roy Carmen: Do you know why counseling is mandatory for CBI agents who have been involved in a shooting?
Teresa: Because nobody would come if it was voluntary?

Patrick: Yeah, it's Red John all right. But someone else is involved. Else why would he change his M.O. so radically. Skywriting?
Teresa: Well, he wanted to make sure that the CBI, that *you*, would be put on the case. He's obviously trying to lure you into some kind of trap.
Patrick: Well that's part of it. But why take them from a car instead of catching them home alone like he's always done before. And why two victims at once? Twins. Why break pattern?
Teresa: He's broken pattern before.
Patrick: Yes. Because it was personal. He wanted to punish me.

Kimball: He's from the A.G.'s office. We're catching a hot one.
Patrick: Hooray. I was about to go mad with boredom.
Grace: Don't say "hooray." Someone's died.
Patrick: Well, if they have, my happiness makes no difference to them.

Deputy: Appreciate your people coming in on this, Agent Lisbon. I haven't handled many homicides. None, in fact. Frankly, I'm looking to learn from you.
Teresa: Not a problem, Deputy Fisher.
Deputy: Small town. We don't get much trouble.
Patrick: Well, that's a shame.
Deputy: It is?
Patrick: Trouble's your business.

Dennis: You warned me and I didn't listen. And I am sorry. He could have killed Jane, but he took him, so that means he wants something. And there is no one better at exploiting a situation like that than Jane.
Teresa: I hope you're right.

Teresa: Orrin, we can let this or or we can take it to the next level. And that's going to involve your parents and lawyers.

Teresa: Cho and I have a trial meeting with Deputy AG.
Kimball: Not if I throw myself into oncoming traffic first.

Teresa: You don't want to start a gun fight unless you need to. We should get the information first.
Chief: If I'm hearing right. There's a group of citizens in there being threatened by a nut with a gun. I don't need to know more than that!

Teresa: I know you're in trouble, Stan. Whatever I can do to help, let me help.
Stan: You don't have to do that.
Teresa: I know I don't have to. I want to. Just enough to keep you from getting punched in the face again.
Stan: I kinda thought you wouldn't mind seeing me get punched in the face.
Teresa: I'm the only one that gets to punch you.
Stan: Okay.
Teresa: [raising her fist] You want one?
Stan: I'm good.

Teresa: This is too creepy.
[Waiting in the morgue]
Patrick: Killers like creepy.

Patrick: Relax. No such thing as witches.
Kimball: Yeah, it's easy for you to say. Weird witch lady didn't burn you in effigy and bind you to her power.

Patrick: It's all fake, because my credulous Van Pelt, spirits are smoke and mirrors. And that's all they are.

Patrick: [to Verona Westlake] What you can accomplish is irrelevant. But if you are absent in this moment, you will regret it for the rest of what will be miserable life. That's all. See you.

Dennis: He stood in my office, looked me in the eye, and lied to me, and I bought it.
Kimball: Don't feel bad. Jane could sell cats to mice.

Patrick: Be reasonable. This is my case.
Teresa: *Your* case?
Patrick: Red John's mine.
Teresa: Red John doesn't belong to anyone.
Patrick: He belongs to me!

Isaac: Marcus. What - we thought you were kidnapped!
Patrick: Well, not all of us.

Walter: I'll call room service. Order some breakfast.
Teresa: Nah. No. I can't I'm late. What can I say? The bastards keep killing people.
Walter: Well, when am I going to see you again?
Teresa: Aren't you going to Europe tomorrow?

Patrick: You overestimated the courage of your bootlickers.

Ms. Austin: Any notes for Billy, our Hamlet?
Patrick: Well, remember, Billy, never break character, even if you forget your lines. I mean, the audience will never know, as long as you keep going.
Ms. Austin: Thank you. I have been telling him that.
Patrick: And Hamlet's not as pleased with himself as you are, so, uh, dial that back a touch.

Kimball: What's that?
Wayne: I don't know. Some h'ordourve thing they're handing out. Want one?
Kimball: No thanks. I don't eat anything I can't identify.

Patrick: [after Lisbon tackles someone] Didn't like class?
Teresa: Cuffs.
[Rigsby tosses her some handcuffs]
Teresa: Looks like I caught the mystery hypnotist.
Patrick: Get what you want from who you want. NLP seems to work.

Patrick: [searching Peterson's house for proof of corruption] Remember, he's not gonna hide the money in or under his mattress.

Patrick: It's just like a stakeout of old. You skeptical and grumpy. Me confident and cheerful.
Teresa: You're only being cheerful to irritate me.

Teresa: Let me know if you change your mind, or you know, get it back.

Teresa: A secret society of dirty cops.
Patrick: And Red John's a member.
[realizing something]
Patrick: Partridge.
Teresa: He said "tiger, tiger" to me right before he died.
Patrick: Hmm. Yes. Yes. He was asking for help, in the hopes that you were a member.
Teresa: But if he had a tattoo, it would have been in the autopsy report.
Patrick: Well, you can't trust a file. We have to see it.
Teresa: I'll have Cho track down the body. But Partridge could be buried by now.
Patrick: Well, have Cho bring a shovel.

Patrick: You're from Chicago, you have three brothers, you're ticklish.
Teresa: I am not ticklish.
Patrick: Yes you are.
Teresa: Everyone's ticklish when you tickle them.

Dennis: Oh, office scuttlebutt says that your new guy is ditching us for the D.C. office and maybe you're going with him.
Teresa: Oh. Huh. Who told you about that?
Dennis: Well, you know, I hear about things. Are you going with him? We'd miss you.
Teresa: To be honest, sir, I don't know.
Dennis: Hmm. What does Jane have to say about this?
Teresa: If he wants to talk about it, he can. But he hasn't, so I'm sure he's fine with it.
Dennis: Well, maybe he doesn't know.
Teresa: He's Jane. Of course he knows. Remember, Jane is a psychic.
Dennis: A *pretend* psychic. If you haven't told him, chances are he doesn't know.

Patrick: What beady little eyes birds have. Tiny dinosaurs, you know.
Teresa: I know. I know you know what he wants. What does he want?
Patrick: [his phone rings] Hello?
Gale: So sorry I had to hang up on you. I've had a busy day
Patrick: Yeah, no problem. You know, this phone is not safe. Let me call you back in a moment.

Teresa: Who else had access to the virus flask?
Alicia: The only people allowed in are Cliff and I; Welks, Nash and Tripp, our colleagues. We have a state-of-the-art biometric security system, as you can see.
Patrick: So your husband or one of the three colleagues is the killer.
[Everyone gives him a look]
Patrick: Sorry, uh, *will* be the killer.

Teresa: [to Van Pelt] You checked luggage? What are you, on vacation?

Patrick: Money troubles?
Abigail: How'd you guess?
Patrick: It's a restaurant. They always have money troubles.

Patrick: I would've gotten more out of them, but you came back too quickly.
Teresa: Reality check: I'm your Supervising Agent. I'm not your decoy.

Teresa: How does one person live in a house this big?
Patrick: Uh, let me see. By being very rich.
Teresa: That's not what I mean.
Patrick: Ah, you mean morally. Well, we've been called in, so it's likely that whoever lived here paid a hefty price in the end.

Teresa: Let me get this straight: Haffner has the address book, but it's a fake.
Patrick: Fake as a three dollar bill.
Teresa: And then how did he find it in Kuzmenko's house?
Patrick: Well, I copied the names from the list of Kuzmenko's clients, then I put the book where Haffner would find it.
Kimball: And I told Haffner that Jane thought the address book was at the house. So he went to the house.
Teresa: Why?
Patrick: Haffner's all about surveillance. I knew he'd be following us; I had to do something to throw him off the scent. Now we can solve the case without Haffner looking over our shoulders.
Teresa: No. No, no, no
Patrick: Don't be hasty.
Teresa: I will deal with you in a minute.

Patrick: You know, when I was a boy, we had a farm. There was a lot of work. I was kind of a lazy kid.
Dr. Linus Wagner: Yes?
Patrick: I'd always be trying to get my little brother, Jimmy, to do my chores for me. One day, I promised him a dollar if he'd cut the firewood. Well... he opened up an artery in his leg on the saw, and he bled to death. Died... doing my chores for me.
Dr. Linus Wagner: You know... that's almost exactly the same thing that happened to Johnny Cash.
Patrick: Is it really? Wow. That's spooky.

Patrick: Andrews didn't do it.
Teresa: Did you sense that with your superpowers?
Patrick: Yes. I did. He's filled with anger, but not fearful, guilty, murderous anger, that has a tang of ammonia about it. His is a more clean, righteous anger. Lemony.
Teresa: Lemony.

Teresa: You ran away again Jane. Not from the FBI but from me.
Patrick: Yeah, but I ran back.
Teresa: How was I suppose to know? I thought you were gone again forever.

Teresa: How you holding up?
Patrick: Ah... You know what incarceration's like.
Teresa: Not really.
Patrick: Well, there's no need to pretend, Lisbon. We're both in the same predicament.
Teresa: How is that? I have a home and a respected career. You're locked up for murder.
Patrick: Eh, you're splitting hairs. We're both trapped.

Patrick: [to Flipper] You see, the thing is, Flip. Lisbon here, is looking at you like you're a porkchop. Because you fit the profile. Your life is in chaos. You're lonely. You're depressed. You're addicted to drugs and pornography, and uh, a little nuts to be honest. You're exactly the kind of man who does terrible things to women.
[Starts to leave, then Jane stops and turns around]
Patrick: But I don't think he did it. Because I think deep down, you're a good man. You should learn to use your bishops a little more effectively, but otherwise a good man.

Charlotte: I'm a figment of your imagination. Show yourself some respect.

Wayne: Who sends their kids to a place like this? It's not cheap either.
Kimball: A little discipline is good for the soul.
Wayne: Yeah, but this is like a juvie prison camp.
Kimball: No. This is like Spring Break Cancun compared to juvie.
Wayne: Wait. You were in Juvenile Hall? Seriously?
Kimball: Yeah. Didn't you read my file?
Wayne: No. Did you read mine?
Kimball: Of course.

Teresa: Stan says Jimmy called him, said he was in Chicago, but Stan doesn't know where he is.
Patrick: Well, if he's in trouble, he's gonna go someplace where he feels safe. You know where that might be?
Teresa: My parents' old house, probably.
Patrick: Sounds right.

Patrick: Pleasure meeting you, Mrs. Bittaker. You have a wonderful family. You must be very proud.
Mrs. Bittacker: You can sneer at me all you like.
Patrick: I will, thank you. Hey, lay off the antidepressants. They're making you slow. And you're still not happy, are you?

Madeleine: Lisbon, what were you thinking?
Teresa: It was - no excuse, ma'am. He asked me to trust him, and I did.
Madeleine: Your job is not to trust him. Your job is to trust *your* judgement, not his.

Bret: How are those demons of yours coming on, Patrick? They still chasing you, are they?
Patrick: I'm chasing them.
Bret: Are you?

Gale: Teresa. I didn't take you for a gambler.
Teresa: Oh, it's not gambling if you know you're gonna win.
Gale: Whew! Well, we got a live one. Watch out.

Patrick: Chance has thrust our way a very sordid and vexing problem. But have no fear.
Grace: We don't.
Teresa: I do. What's your plan?

Teresa: You are a cool customer. You think you can outrun a tiger?
Patrick: I don't have to. I just have to run faster than you.

Patrick: Two fingers, just dip and remove. No hesitation. Want to give it a try? Okay.
Annabeth: [brushing past Jane and picking his wallet from his pocket] Did you feel that?
Patrick: Well, just slightly. Did you feel that?
Annabeth: [he holds out her own wallet] You're good.
Teresa: [approaching] Picking pockets. Nice.
Patrick: Oh, I promised I'd show her if she told me your best Auntie 'Reese stories.
Teresa: Don't you dare.
Annabeth: Of course not. I was just stringing him along.
Patrick: Oh, you were, were you? I guess I won't give you this, then.
Annabeth: [he holds up her cell phone] Hey!

Patrick: What's the general opinion; who did this?
Mandy: My guess, Victor.
Wayne: What makes you think that?
Mandy: Nothing, really. Victor's a nice guy, but that's who kills women, isn't it? - Their husbands, 90 percent of the time.
Wayne: Seventy percent.

Walter: So it's over?
Patrick: Yeah. It's over.
Walter: That's too bad. It was fun.
Patrick: Yeah. How you gonna top that thrill?
Walter: Maybe next time, I'll be the killer.

Teresa: [At the door] Hi. We have delivery from L Courtier. You want to open the door?
Patrick: [In the distance] She's lying!
Grace: [Lisbon and Van Pelt burst in. Van Pelts puts cuffs on Daniella] Abby Fitzwilliams, you're under arrest!
Daniella: I'm not Abby.
Teresa: [Entering another room] Put your hands in the air now!
[Realizes it's Jane]
Patrick: Lisbon, Grace, where's your manners? This is Danniella - Abby's best friend. Come in have a seat.

Patrick: All you need is a basic understanding of the evolutionary psychology of women, rigorously and fearlessly applied. You gotta know what buttons to press.
Teresa: Like we're toasters.
Grace: Like men don't have buttons too.
Patrick: Men are like toasters. Women, a little more like, uh... accordians.
[Lisbon and Van Pelt give him dirty looks and leave]
Patrick: I thought that was a compliment.

Sheriff: You probably have a lot of questions for me, hmm? We have time, if you want.
Patrick: I have no questions. You're an evil, sexually perverted sociopath with pathetic delusions of grandeur. The rest is just details.
Sheriff: "Evil, sexually perverted sociopath"? I guess I have to own that. But, uh... delusions of grandeur? No. I have no delusions. I built a secret empire, I control the lives of thousands of people. My word is life and death, and nobody knows who I am. Now, if that's not grandeur, I don't know what you call it.
Patrick: I call it the ravings of a squalid egomaniac.
Sheriff: You see? For no reason at all, you're rude and contemptuous. That's why your wife and kid are dead. Who are you to butt in here and make obnoxious judgments about me? Who are you? Who are you?
Patrick: Nobody.
Sheriff: Nobody. You didn't know me. You don't know me. You have no idea. Here's your problem, Pat. You're a smart man, but you are arrogant. You can't imagine someone smarter than you. Which is why I've been ahead of you at every step along the way.