The Best Mr. MacNulty Quotes

[the defendants are an elderly couple who have been disturbing the police by having sex in their own apartment, very often, and very loudly]
Judge: I don't mean to pry, Mr. MacNulty, but why are you so loud during these romantic interludes?
Mr. MacNulty: [cupping a hand to his ear] What?

Dan: Burn this image in your mind, sir: this man, standing stark naked, swinging a baseball bat.
Mrs. MacNulty: My Louisville slugger.
Mr. MacNulty: [cupping a hand to his ear] What?
Dan: [shouting] She said she likes your bat!