The Best Muriel Quotes

Muriel: You see, if you open up to someone else, then it could help you see the problem from a whole new perspective.
Dr. Vernon Mullins: That's never been my way. And this old dog is way past learning new tricks.

Muriel: I have to say, I do not understand what men see in her.
Connie: Why? Hope's a natural beauty.
Muriel: Oh, yes, well, so am I.

- -Okay.
- -We got this.
[instructor] Vamos.
[in English] Stay connected with your partner.
- Nice. See? Oh, you...
[instructor] Beautiful.
- Beautiful, people. Vamos.
Muriel: You're doing great, Doc.

Hope: Muriel, what do you want?
Muriel: I heard a rumor that you and Doc are finally getting divorced, so I wanted to know if you would mind if I asked Doc out on a date?

Muriel: Do you knit?
Lizzie: No. And I don't wanna learn.

Muriel: No.
- There's no need for you to be sorry.
- I, um...
- Thank you for being honest and upfront.
- And I...
- I just hope we can remain friends.
- I'm sure we can manage that. [chuckles]
- And, um, if anything ever changes, then you be sure to let me know.

- Pull.
- Pull!
Muriel: Yes!

Hope: I think dermatology is a waste of money. There's nothing soap and water can't do.
Muriel: Oh, Hope, no! You have been terribly misinformed. I mean, consistent dermatological care is why no one would ever guess that you and I are close in age.

- We did it!
Hope: And you get all the marbles!
[Mel laughing] Hey.
- Thank you.
- Marbles!
Muriel: Whoo-hoo.

- and she'd have come home.
- She wouldn't have been on the road when the damn truck crossed--
- -Vernon.
- -[Doc sobs]
Muriel: Come on now.
- You can't think like that.
- I know, but it feels like she's just slipping away, and there's not a goddamn thing I can do.

Muriel: And the race is over!
- Good job, everyone.
[chuckles] I think we lost again.
- There's always next year.
- I'm not doing this next year!
- Why?
- -[Mel] Why?
- -You're cute as a lumberjack.