The Best Paul Quotes

Paul: [Having just thrown a small dog to be eaten by one of the snakes, much to everyone's disapproval] You'd have done the exact same thing!

Paul: Why exactly are there snakes on this plane?

Mercedes: Why don't we just take a picture?
Paul: Oh, sure, let's drop it off at Jiffy Photo when we land, Einstein.
Mercedes: Ever heard of e-mail, dick-wad?

Claire: I'm sorry but first class is overbooked, but there is plenty of room to stretch out in coach which is only half-full.For the inconvenience we would like to offer you this travel voucher which is good on any date for any South Pacific Airlines flight.
Paul: Hmm, and this travel voucher won't help get me to my meeting on time, will it?
Claire: Sir, I'm pretty sure that coach gets to Los Angeles about the same time that first class does.
Paul: Funny. Does my Senior Reward membership come with your sarcasm, or should I speak with your supervisor... Claire?
[walks into the plane]
Claire: This had better be a matter of national security,
Mercedes: Did I just hear right that there's no first class?
Claire: Yes, only coach.
Mercedes: Is it safe back there?
Tiffany: [after a pause] Yes, yes, it is totally safe there.

Paul: Fucking dog, fucking coach, fucking Americans!