Top 30 Quotes From Splinter

Leonardo: Come, my comrades. There are wrongs to be righted and damsels to be saved, and you musketeers aren't even dressed.
[the amnesiac Leonardo passes the other turtles musketeer outfits]
Donatello: My fault, guys. I put the costumes April sent over in Leonardo's room.
Raphael: Clever move, brainiac.
Splinter: Actually, Donatello did the right thing. You must humor him by putting on these costumes.
Michelangelo: Pretend we're musketeers? Bogus, dude.
Raphael: Look, I'd give Leonardo the shell off my back, okay? But I am NOT wearing lace with feathers, and that's final.
Donatello: Same here.
Michelangelo: Ditto.
[the turtles are later wearing the musketeer costumes]
Raphael: I feel pretty stupid.
Donatello: Same here.
Michelangelo: Ditto.

Vernon: [as Bebop and Rocksteady walk by carrying the sacks containing April and Irma] I can't sleep conductor, get me one of those pillows would you?
Rocksteady: [approches him] I'll put you to sleep chum!
[shows Vernon his face]
Bebop: [Vernon screams and faints] That's some great cure for insomnia you got there Rocksteady
Rocksteady: [poses effeminately] Maybe I ought to patent it

Michelangelo: I say we've earned some well-deserved goof-off time.
Leonardo: Not so fast, Michelangelo. My intuition tells me that Krang and Shredder are behind this.
Splinter: Let us hope you are incorrect, Leonardo.

Michelangelo: [walks in while the turtles are watching TV] Come on, dudes. Give me a break. Let's watch something educational for once. There's a mondo surfing flick on, "Waikiki Wave Walkers". It's totally tubuloso. Here, let me show you.
Raphael: Touch that dial and you're history.
Michelangelo: [changes the channel] No, trust me, compadres, you'll really dig it.
[from his room, Splinter hears Michelangelo scream and glass breaking]
Splinter: That sounds like a food fight. Deep dish pizza, to be exact.

Splinter: The path that leads to what we truly desire is long and difficult, but only by following that path do we achieve our goal.
Michaelangelo: What? Follow a path? I guess he wants me to take a hike.

Splinter: My inner vision tells me that Leonardo stumbled upon his greatest fear and lacks the courage to confront it. The lesson he must learn is that to conquer one's fears, one must face them, not run away.

Splinter: Have any of you seen Donatello?
Leonardo: No, master, not for hours.
Michelangelo: If I know that dude, he's probably hanging out at the library.
[at the university, Donatello is clinging to a ledge on the building]
Donatello: Actually, Michelangelo's right. I am hanging out at the library.

[Splinter has driven the Turtle Van into the junk yard and is fighting off the bad guys with it]
Raphael: Master! I thought you didn't know how to drive!
Splinter: It's remarkable what one can do when one is forced to!

Irma: Yoohoo! Splinter? Are you in there?
Donatello: Irma, what are you doing in the sewers?
Irma: Well, a woman will go to any depths to meet her dream man. Now, where is this hunky Splinter guy?
[Splinter enters]
Splinter: I am Splinter.
Irma: [gasps] You're a... You're a rat!
Splinter: Precisely. You must be Irma.
Irma: Wrong. I must be going.
[runs away]
Irma: AAH!

Vernon: Yeow! Where did you people ever get those ugly turtle costumes?
Raphael: Probably the same place you got that ugly mask.
Vernon: But I'm not wearing a... Now just a darn minute!

Splinter: Have patience, Michaelangelo. Bigger is not always better. Sometimes it is best for things to remain as they are.

Splinter: [seeing the mess caused by the pizza-slicer] Donatello, what happened here?
Donatello: Gee, sensei, another one of my inventions backfired. It's the third time this week.
Splinter: The only way one learns is by making mistakes. Although I admit this was a particularly messy mistake.

Splinter: So that you'll always remember that bigger is not always better.

Raphael: [noticing April arriving at the lair wearing a yellow ball gown, high heels, diamond earrings, a jeweled necklace, makeup, and her hair styled differently] Wow!, talk about embraceable! Who is that?
April: Hi guys, it's me.
Donatello: Gosh, April, you look just like a... a girl!
Leonardo: You look lovely!
Michelangelo: Truly tubuloso!
Raphael: Yeah, you clean up real good!
Splinter: [also enamored] April, you make this ancient rodent feel young again
April: Thanks, guys! You're just a bunch of big green sweeties, and you're the nicest rodent I know! And now I'm off to the Malcurian Embassy to cover a fancy party!

Raphael: [Splinter takes away comic book] Come on, man, I'm at the most epic part.
Splinter: Man? Is that how you refer to me? What's next? Rat-faced dude guy?

Splinter: Next time you leave, Leonardo, make sure to leave a note.

[Dueling Shredder]
Splinter: You have corrupted my teaching, you have brought dishonor upon the noble Foot Clan. Now you will pay for your crimes.

[Michaelangelo is a pizza delivery boy in disguise]
Vernon: I suppose you want a tip.
Michaelangelo: [sarcastically] No.
Vernon: Well here's one anyway: get another job!

Irma: [at Mardi Gras] Hi there. I love your costume. I know a villain who wears one just like it.
Shredder: [lifting up Irma, who is wearing a magic gem] And I love what you're wearing - The gem! At last! It's all mine!
Irma: [giggling] Oh, please, we've just met. Let's not rush things.
April: It's Shredder! Poor Irma doesn't know the danger she's in!
Vernon: Poor Irma? How about poor him?
Burne: Irma, tell that goon to put you down! You're supposed to be working!
Irma: [swooning] Forget it, Mr. Thompson. I just quit.
Shredder: Now how do I get out of here?

Raphael: Now we can relax, catch some boob-tube, and forget about all of that weirdness we went through.
Splinter: For now, but I fear we have not seen the last of the Shredder or Krang.
Donatello: You're worrying too much master.
Michelangelo: Yeah, I bet we never even hear as much as a peep out of them again.
TV: Stay tuned for tonight's Sci-Fi Chiller thriller killer Movie. It's a real classic, "The Evil Brain From Dimension X."

[Donatello and Splinter sneak into the lab of a university building using a grate in the floor]
Splinter: A most unusual way to get into college.
Donatello: Let's just say I worked my way up from the bottom.

[Leo, Raph and Mikey are in a fight]
Splinter: Stop! What is the meaning of this?
Donatello: They're in love, Master.
Splinter: That is good.
Donatello: With the same woman.
Splinter: That is not good!

[after Vivaldi explains that the Maltese hamster contains a formula for a new super fuel]
Donatello: [on a fake TV] So that's why Shredder wants the Maltese hamster.
Tony: Right. With that super fuel, he can repower his Technodrome and rule the world. And I get dibs on Detroit. Now where are you hiding that hamster?
Donatello: Hold your horses. You'll get it. Just bring Splinter and the other turtles to the docks at midnight. We'll swap then.
Tony: It's a deal.
Donatello: And I don't want to see any weapons, not even spitballs.
Lefty: What a spoilsport.

Shredder: Now its your turn old one.
Splinter: Are you afraid to face me without the sword?
Shredder: Only a fool would throw away his advantage.

Splinter: If those criminals did take Raphael and Michelangelo, it would certainly indicate that they're in league with Shredder.
Leonardo: But why, Master? True, the Butcher gets to rob the city blind, but what's in it for Shredder?
Splinter: What, indeed? My ancient enemy does not share power easily.
Donatello: Wait, maybe it has to do with that antique shop they tore apart. They were probably searching for something.
Splinter: Excellent reasoning, Donatello. You may make a good detective yet.

Exterminator: Get rid of all rats? Are you crazy? You wanna drive me out of business?

Vernon: April, I'm not getting any younger!
April: Or any nicer.

Michaelangelo: [On TV, April winked at one of the turtles] Right on, babe.
Donatello: She was winking at me you know.
Michaelangelo: You're totally warped, dude. She was winking at me.
Raphael: Get real, you guys it was meant for yours truly.
Leonardo: I hate to argue, fellas, but I think she meant it for me.
April: [They all argue] Cool it, fellas! If you must know, I was winking at Splinter.
Michaelangelo: I don't believe that!
Splinter: Age has its advantages.

Kazuo: Perhaps by the time my brother can dig his way out of the polar ice cap, he will have reconsidered his evil ways.
Splinter: I fear the leopard does not change his spots so easily, Kazuo Saki.

Shredder: Aah! I'm growing tired of your meddling, rodent!
Splinter: If you're tired, I suggest you lie down!
[kicks Shredder down]