Top 50 Quotes From The Umbrella Academy, Season 1, Episode 1

Agnes: Can I get the kid a glass of milk or something?
Number: The kid wants coffee. Black.

- make you stronger than you are alone.
Reginald: They will make you impervious to the pa/n and hardship the world will thrust upon you.
- And believe me when / tell you, life will be hard.
- It will be painful.

- .fi / think we 're alone now j'
- .f' the beating of our hearts is the only sound I
- .fi / think we 're alone now j' j' there doesn't seem to be anyone around I
- .fi / think we 're alone now j'
- .f' the beating of our hearts is the only sound I

- I hope you know your father loved you very much.
- In his own way.
- Yeah, well, that's kind of the problem, isn't it?
- Take care of yourself.
- You as well, miss Vanya.

Diego: [about Vanya] What is she doing here? You don't belong here. Not after what you did.
Allison: You're seriously gonna do this today? Way to dress for the occasion, by the way.
Diego: At least I'm wearing black.

Luther: No. He must have known something was going to happen. Look, I know you don't like to do it, but I need you to talk to Dad.
Klaus: I can't just call Dad in the afterlife and be like, "Dad, could you just stop playing tennis with Hitler for a moment and take a quick call?"

- giving up the family secrets.
- Sure that went over well.
- They hate me.
- Oh, there are worse things that can happen.
- You mean like what happened to Ben?
- Was it bad?

[first lines]
Pogo: [narrating] On the 12th hour of the first day of October 1989, 43 women around the world gave birth. This was unusual only in the fact that none of these women had been pregnant when the day first began. Sir Reginald Hargreeves, eccentric billionaire and adventurer, resolved to locate and adopt as many of the children as possible.
Sir: [to one of the mothers] Extraordinary! How much do you want for it?
Title: He got seven of them.

- Get off me!
- We don't have time for this.
Diego: Come here, big boy!
- And there goes Ben's statue.
- Diego, no!

[Man] Show me where the safe is, or your family's dead!
- Where's the safe?
[Man 2] Just leave us alone!
[Weatherman on TV] ...Little bit of rain potentially, later in the week.
[Man 5] Who is this guy?

- When pogo dies?
- Not if you die first.
- Yeah, love you too, sis.
- Good luck on your next film.
- Hope it turns out better than your marriage, huh?
- Are... are we leaving?
- No, I'm leaving, me by myself.
- Oh, fabulous! I'll get my things.

[last lines]
Number: When I jumped forward and got stuck in the future, do you know what I found?
Vanya: No.
Number: Nothing. Absolutely nothing. As far as I could tell, I was the last person left alive. I never figure out what killed the human race, but I did find something else. The date it happens. The world ends in eight days, and I have no idea how to stop it.
Vanya: [pauses] I'll put on a pot of coffee.

- Diego, stop talking.
- That's how much he couldn't stand the sight of you!
- Boys, stop this at once!
[Screams] Come on, big boy!
- Stop it!
- Hit him! Hit him!

- Hey, mom.
- Mom?
Allison: Vanya?
- You're actually here.
- Hey, Allison.
- Hey, sis.

- I'm pretty sure I stepped in half those peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches.
[Sighs] Your father always believed that number five was still out there somewhere.
- He never lost hope.
- And look where that got him.

- Diego, thank you for joining us.
- We have decided on, drum roll, waffles.
- I'm gonna drop you off at the bus stop.
- I gotta get back to work.
- What, breaking bones and cracking skulls?
- Saving lives, baby.
- Well, I guess it's frozen waffles again.

Diego: I can save you some time. They're all locked. No force entry, no sign of struggle. Nothing out the ordinary.
[comes further into the room]
Diego: Whoa, you got big, Luther! What's the secret, huh? Protein shakes? Low carbs?

Luther: What are you...
Allison: What is that gonna do?
- I don't know.
- Do you have a better idea?
Luther: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Everyone get behind me.
- Yeah, get behind us.
Klaus: I vote for running! Come on!

- Nothing to solve, nothing like that.
- It's just a sad old man who kicked it in a big, empty house.
- Just like he deserved.
- You should leave.
- Whatever you say, brother.

Luther: Did you see Diego?
Allison: With his stupid outfit?
Luther: Oh, I know. Do you think he wears that thing in the bathroom?
Allison: Like in the shower?
Luther: Yeah.
Allison: Yes, absolutely.
[laughs]

- Drop it.
- Ex-squeeze me?
- Do it. Now.
- All right. All right.
- It's just an advance on our inheritance!
- That's all it is.
- No need to get your little panties in a bunch.

Luther: Do you ever remember a single time that dad wasn't wearing his monocle?
- Yoo-hoo, Diego!
- I hate to rush you through any kind of brooding moment you might be having, but come on, man, we're starving!

- We can accomplish anything when we accept responsibility together.
- This is what creates trust

- Uh so take me back to constantinople .fi j' no, you can't go back to constantinople .i'
- .f' been a long time gone, constantinople .f'
- .fi why did constantinople get the works 7 j”
- .f' that's nobody's business but the Turks'j' j' Istanbul .fi

- Yeah, I could do egg and bacon, but I'm trying to cut down on my pig products.

- On your feet and come with us.
- They want to talk.
- I've got nothing to say.
- It doesn't have to go this way.
- You think I want to shoot a kid?
- Go home with that on my conscience?
- Well, I wouldn't worry about that.
- You won't be going home.

- Uh Istanbul j' uh Istanbul j'
- .fi even old New York was once newamsterdam .fi
- .f' why they changed it, / can't say I uh people just liked it better that way .f'
- -[Man 3 gasping]
- J' Istanbul was constantinople now it's Istanbul, not constantinople j'
- .F' that's nobody's business but the Turks'j'

- Just need to sober up!
- Clear thoughts. [Exhales]
- Come on! Come on, chop-chop!
- You always were a stubborn bastard!
[Panting] I don't know about you, but I need a drink.
- Oh!

[Five] Hmm.
- Nice to see nothing's changed.
- Uh, that's it? That's all you have to say?
[Five] What else is there to say?
- The circle of life.
- Well...
- That was interesting.

- J' picture yourself when you're getting old j' j' sat by the fireside a-pondering on fl j' picture book j' j' pictures of your mama taken by your papa j' j'a long time ago long time ago fl j' long time ago yeah, yeah, yeah I

- Hey, you, stay strong.
- I believe in you. Okay?
- You, not so much.
[Man] Bye, Klaus.
- We'll see you soon, Klaus.
[Attendant] Stay sober.
- Mm.

- to commune with the dead,
- I might think about,
[laughs] I don't know, I don't know...
- Manifesting!
- Do the whole big angry ghost lecture.
- Tell everyone who done it, and find eternal peace.
- Eternal peace is probably overrated.

- Why are you here?
[Sighs] I've decided you're the only one I can trust.
- Why me?
- Because you're ordinary.
- Because you'll listen.
- Okay.

Diego: Where d'ya go?
Number: The future. It's shit, by the way.
Klaus: Called it!

[Clears throat] Here.
- I got his.
- Thanks.
- You must know your way around the city.
- I hope so.
- I've been driving it for 20 years.
- Good. I need an address.

- You know, every time I close my eyes,
- I see a diarrhetic hippo about to shit on my face.
- It's terrifying!
- Terrific.
- No! No.
- Lean back.

[Clicks tongue] No!
- Wait, it's too late for eggs.
- Waffles. Huh?
- You like waffles, right?
- Ah. Of course you do.
- Everyone likes waffles.

Vanya: Wait, how did you get back?
Number: In the end, I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time.
Diego: That makes no sense.
Number: Well, it would if you were smarter.

- Did something happen?
- Dad died. Remember?
- Oh. Yes, of course.
- Is mom okay?
- Yeah, yeah, she's fine.
- She just needs to rest.
- You know, recharge.
- Whenever you're ready, dear boy.

- This was unusual only in the fact that none of these women had been pregnant when the day first began.
- Sir Reginald hargree ves, eccentric b/I/ionaire and adventurer, resolved to locate and adopt as many of the children as possible.
- Extraordinary!
- How much do you want for it?

- -Nothing.
- Absolutely nothing.
- As far as / could tell,
- I was the last person left alive.
- I ne ver figured out what killed the human race, but..
- I did find someth/ng else.
- The date it happens.

- You're seriously gonna do this today?
Allison: Way to dress for the occasion, by the way.
Diego: At least I'm wearing black.
- You know what? I... maybe he's right.
- And I shouldn't...
Allison: Forget about him.
- I'm glad you're here.

- {gasps}
[Man on TV] Moments ago, police reported the death of the most eccentric and reclusive billionaire.

Sir: Nietzsche once said, "Man is as a rope stretched between the animal and the superhuman. A rope over an abyss. It is a dangerous crossing, a dangerous looking-back, a dangerous trembling and halting."
Sir: As much as you must strive for individual greatness, and strive you must, for it won't come to you of its own accord. You must also remember that there is no individual stronger than the collective.
Sir: The ties that bind you together makes you stronger than you are alone. They will make you impervious to the pain and hardship the world will thrust upon you. And believe me when I tell you, life will be hard. It will be painful.
Sir: We can accomplish anything when we accept responsibility together. This is what creates trust.
Sir: Together, you will stand against the reign of evil.

- -./' even old New York j”
- -[Man grunts]
- Uh was once newamsterdam j'
- -[Groaning]
- .F' why they changed it I can't say people just liked it better that way j'
- -[man 2 screams]
- Uh so take me back to constantinople .fi j' no, you can't go back to constantinople .i'
- .f' been a long time gone, constantinople .f'

Klaus: I bet you're loving this. Hmm? The team at its best. It's just like old times. Best funeral ever!

- You never know when to stop, do you?
- You got enough material for your sequel yet?
- He was my father, too.
- Mom.
- Let's go inside.
- Come on. Okay? Come on.

- Jesus!
- You should have locks on your windows.
- I live on the second floor.
- Rapists can climb.
- You are so weird.

- Well...
- You could always do your, uh, you know...
- Rumor thing.
- Yeah, I don't do that anymore.
- What happened?
- Same thing that always happens.
- I made a wish, and it came true, and I couldn't take it back.

- in this hostage situation at the capital west bank do we really have to do this?
Luther: Come on, Ben.
- There's more guys in the vault.
[Sighs] I didn't sign up for this.
Jim: Now we see the hostages.
- They... they're free.
- They're scared, clearly, but they do seem to be unharmed.