150 Best CSI Warrick Brown Quotes

[investigating a murder in high school]
Warrick: What were you: a jock or a brain?
Gil: I was a ghost.

Warrick: Looks like ginkwork. It's the kind of thing speed freaks do when they've been up for 10 days straight and they've already taken apart the radio.
Sara: Yeah. I write everything down in shorthand. You couldn't read it.
Warrick: Shorthand?
Sara: Keeps things in order.
Warrick: You're not a control freak or anything?
Sara: [smiles and mumbles] No.

Grissom: "The evil men do always lives after them. The good is often interred with their bones."
Warrick: Shakespeare?
Grissom: [nods] Julius Caesar.

Greg: So... what's the pot up to?
Nick: We don't bet on cases.
Greg: Ah. Of course you don't. So who's winning?
Nick: I am.
Greg: Fiends.

Sara: [sees two pill bottles] Daniel Perez is taking oxycodone for pain, and Alicia was on diazepam.
Warrick: Diazepam? That's a pretty hard-core antidepressant for a kid that small.
Sara: I guess they didn't want her complaining while they were mining her body for healthy cells.

Catherine: So what were you in high school, Nick?
Nick: Me? I was... dependable.
Catherine: Dependable?
Warrick: He's trying to say he was unpopular.

Gil: I was flying to a seminar in New Hampshire a couple of summers ago. I was sitting in the plane next to a Philosophy Professor from Harvard. He told me this story about how every morning he takes a leak right after his three-hour philosophy class. He flushed the toilet, there'd be this tiny brown spider fighting for its life against the swirling water. He came back the next day, flush. Same spider, clawing its way back from oblivion. A week goes by, he decides to liberate the spider. Grabs a paper towel, scoops him up and sets him on the floor in the corner of the stall. Comes back the next day, and what do you think happened to the spider?
Warrick: Dead.
Gil: On his back, eight legs in the air. Why? Because one life imposed itself on another. Right then I realized where we stand. I understood our role. We don't impose our will. We don't impose our hopes on the evidence.

Gil: What's up?
Warrick: The shoe tread I found at the scene. It's a World Industries Diablo. It's a skate shoe. Size 11.
Gil: On a construction worker?
Warrick: Screams "teenager", I know.

Warrick: Diet shake, fitness magazines, cookie crumbs on a baking sheet. This guy's trying to start a diet or falling off one?

[Catherine is working at Grissom's desk in his office]
Warrick: Did I miss a memo or something?

Gil: Did you know that pigs are very intelligent animals? Right behind chimps, dolphins, and elephants.
Warrick: Ahead of dogs?
Gil: And certain politicians.

Warrick: Why did you kill your wife, Mr. McGill?
Gavin: You try having a hot wife. You pay for it every day.

Warrick: Tell me, what's a receptionist at a hair salon doing with that much tar?
Vlad: In Russia, I work for certain family. When they want body taken care of, I go to oil field, dump body in tar. None ever found.
Warrick: Sounds like fun.

Warrick: Jared, ain't braces a bitch?

Warrick: Matt, if there's anything I can do...
Matt: Just get me five minutes alone with the shooter. Just five minutes. I know it's not going to bring Aimee back... but I can't sleep at night, knowing that he's still breathing out there. Can you?

Gil: There's seminal fluid all over the place.
Sara: Is this a dance club or a sex club?
Warrick: A little of both. Don't you love this town?
Sara: Whatever you say, Superfly.

Calleigh: You can spot a Glock cartridge from a block away: rectangular firing pin impression, breach face shear. This casing's no Glock. It isn't your Chief's weapon.
Warrick: [holding up an evidence baggie] Well, whoever this guy is, he's a lousy shot.
Calleigh: Five casings, no hits.

Sara: [to Warrick] Interesting voice mail you left me.
Warrick: What's that?
Sara: Meet me behind CSI and bring a cotton nightgown. I'd wear it for you but... uh, I prefer pajamas.

Warrick: Grissom...
Jim: Don't say another word.
Warrick: Jim...
Jim: Just get on your feet.
Warrick: I don't know what happened.
Jim: Hey, it's for your own good. Just keep your mouth shut until we get to the station. You couldn't just let it go.

C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: There's no other sign of disturbance in here. What about the rest of the house?
Captain: Nothing obvious.
C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: How many domestics have you seen when someone got shot in the face and nothing else was disturbed?
Warrick: What do you think?
C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: That your married people take things too personally.

Warrick: You need to tell somebody when you're cutting the lights.
Gil: What, are you working for OSHA now?

Gene: [to Warwick] You know, in school, you were a nerd, Brown. You were, remember? Every kid there used to beat your ass. Thick glasses, hand-me-down clothes, always with a book in your hand like you were better than everybody else. Nigga, I ain't scared of you.
Warrick: Want to step outside then?

Matt: I thought I was making a difference.
Warrick: You are making a difference. I'm living proof.

Warrick: One, two, three, four jars of depilatory cream?
Sara: That's a lot of bikini wax. Some girls hate the nether-stubble.
Warrick: Nether-stubble?

Warrick: [about Susan Hillridge] She gives me the willies.
Gil: We can't arrest her for that.

Warrick: Fire in the hole!
[Warrick fires gun]
Nick: [flinching] You're supposed to let me get these things on.
[he indicates the muffs around his neck]
Warrick: Hey, you were supposed to be ready. I don't know man. Maybe it would work out better if Tina was someone who did what we did. At least she'd understand the hours.
Nick: Well, I don't know. I don't think it's a good idea to date someone you work with. You never really get to get away from work, or them the way you need to.
Warrick: You mean like you and me, Baby?
Nick: Yeah exactly, Honey.

[about a suspect in a case that is personal to Warrick]
Warrick: This guy's been in Matt's house.
Gil: What is this?
Warrick: [holds up a trophy] Matt's team won this three years ago.
[picks up another]
Warrick: This trophy was given to the rec center last year. I found all this stuff in Jacobs' car.
Gil: Well, if this is evidence, it needs to be tagged and cataloged.
Warrick: This is the same guy who shot Matt's daughter in the head and he's walking around laughing at us.
Gil: Can you prove that?
Warrick: What is this? I've been putting guys away like this for years and now that it matters, it's like you're holding me back here.
[people in the lab begin to stare]
Gil: Your job, Warrick, is to process evidence. Objectively and without prejudice.
Warrick: I'm so tired of hearing that. I've heard it a million times. I can't be like you. I'm not a robot, okay! I actually care about these people!
Gil: You know what? You're not working on this case anymore. I'll have another assignment for you tomorrow.
Warrick: Keep it.

Warrick: Whose blood is that?
Gil: The new girl. Want to donate?
Warrick: Hell, no.

Gil: So. How's the thing Catherine passed off to you going?
Warrick: What thing?
Gil: The thing with Eddie Willows?
Warrick: Er, good.
Gil: You called the DMV yet?
Warrick: I was just about to.
Gil: Hmm. Warrick, why would you call the DMV on a rape charge?
Warrick: [looks at Catherine] If you want me to suave anybody, I gotta know the shot.
Catherine: I'm sorry. I didn't pass it off.
Gil: Really?

[Grissom walks in with a witness]
Sara: Well, now we know why Grissom's late.
Warrick: Ahh, you just don't like any other women in his life.
Sara: I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.

Warrick: You know, Sam. That word that you wrote on the floor, you know, that's a really bad word.
Sam: I hear it all the time. My grandma says it.
[strikes a match and puts in the mug]
Sam: My mom says it.
[strikes another match and puts it in the mug]
Sam: And my sister says it.
[strikes another match]
Sam: Well, she used to say it.
[blows the match out and watches the smoke rise from it, then drops in the mug]

Warrick: You know, if I had to gauge it by his apartment, I'd say that Alistair Rhodes is a regular guy.
Nick: Yeah, I'm sure that's what he wants everybody to think, too.

Warrick: So you don't have any results from the metallic trace on the garage floor
David: But I will. That's the beauty of me

Nick: Hummingbirds do love the color red.
Warrick: You've been watching way too much Discovery Channel.
[to Grissom]
Warrick: This guy needs a girl.

Warrick: [Grissom's going through evidence and holds up a thong] I was wondering where I put my nice silver satin thong.

Gil: [to Warrick on the phone] Where the hell have you been?
Warrick: Grissom, I gotta talk with you.
Gil: Where are you?
Warrick: Pigalle.
Gil: What are you thinking?
Warrick: I don't know. I don't know!
Gil: You don't... you don't know what?
Warrick: I don't know what I did here. I don't know what happened.

Warrick: [showing a Rorschach-like blood stain] What does this look like to you?
Gil: Hermaphrodite on roller skates.
Catherine: A puppy.
[Grissom and Catherine look at each other quizzically]

Catherine: [to Warrick] How 'ya holdin' up?
Warrick: That depends. Do you think I did it?
Catherine: I can't discuss the case.
Warrick: Yeah. I dunno, I think I'd just feel a lot better if I had a change of clothes. I hate being dressed like a convict.
Catherine: I'll take care of it.
[takes Warrick's hand]
Catherine: Stay strong.

[Eddie, Cath's ex is accused of rape]
Gil: What's the status?
Catherine: Skin samples from under the women's fingernails are consistent with Ed's. I saw some bruises. But Eddie's style has always been very... involved. Vigorous.
Gil: ...Vigorous.
Warrick: She's trying to tell you Eddie likes it rough.
Catherine: Thank you, Warrick.

Warrick: [on picking up the victims purse] This things heavier than my kit. Ever get hit in the head with one of these?
Nick: No, gentlemen don't get hit in the head with those.

Warrick: [to Matthew] Eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind? You taught me that.
Matt: My perspective has changed.

Nick: [while searching the body hanging from the tree] Either these kids were travelling light or they were robbed blind.
Warrick: Who'd rob them up there, Andre the Giant?

Sara: We have a problem. We have three hammers and four suspects.
Warrick: Well, the Gilbert brothers both seem ready to go down for it.
Jim: And Benny can't wait to go to jail.
Sara: If they were defending Ashley against an attacker, why not say so?
Gil: They weren't. The smashed watermelon suggests the whole thing was premeditated.
Sara: Making the motive robbery?
Warrick: Well, Benny, Aaron and Jared each had about $125 worth of cash and assorted prizes.
Gil: $375. Brian's parents said that he was being paid $500 every two weeks. Cash under the table.
Sara: It was payday, so who got the other $125?
Warrick: Well, Gregory Curtwell makes good money. $125 is a spit in the ocean for a construction worker. If he wasn't defending his sister, then he has no motive.
Jim: Well, if he didn't do it, how did his hammer end up with Brian's blood on it?
Sara: [looking at Ashley's receipts] Clothing: $85; earrings: $30; coffee; four dollars. Getting away with murder...
Gil: Priceless.

IA: [to Warrick] Let's back up a little. You get involved with a pretty young thing, you go away to do your business, she winds up dead. You ever think about that?
Warrick: I think about Joanna every day. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her.
IA: No, no. I'm sorry. I was talking about Holly Gribbs. You remember Holly, don't 'ya? Rookie CSI. You left alone at a crime scene eight years ago to go place bets for a crooked judge. Suspect came back and shot her.
Warrick: I remember.
IA: Poor innocent girl, just trying to do her job, and winds up dead because of you.
Warrick: That has nothing to do with this.
IA: Do two points make a straight line? It's a pattern of behavior. Reckless, obsessive, compulsive, self-destructive behavior.

Catherine: [to Warrick] I thought you said you were a dork in high school.
Warrick: I was a dork. I still am a dork, but I had dimples. I got a little action.
Catherine: I don't doubt that.

Warrick: Damn! Why didn't I see that coming? Gambling?
Nick: Hey, we're all in Nevada. It's legal; don't worry about it.
Warrick: Legal doesn't matter in there. You know the judge is going to throw out our blood evidence, right?
Nick: Truth is, it is compromised, Warrick.
Warrick: The blood is fine. It's their methods that are dirty.

Warrick: I just got served. Movie star's lawyer wants the shirt that I wore to the crime scene.
Gil: So give it to him.
Gil: I had to throw it out.
Gil: Why?
Warrick: It was covered in the blood from the accident victim.
Gil: Well, you have to find it; otherwise, it'll look like you've got something to hide.
Warrick: Oh, CSI's on trial now?
Gil: CSI's always on trial, Warrick; you know this. Burden of proof is on us.

[Catherine and Warrick arrive at the crime scene and are met by officer Michaels, who was present when Nick was abducted in the previous episode]
Officer D.A. Michaels: Hey guys! Good to see you. Hey would you tell Nick I hope there's no hard feelings about that whole, you know, 'abduction' thing, you know, he hasn't returned my calls...
Warrick: He's been busy.

Captain: L.A. has over two hundred criminalists. You got to bring your own guy?
Captain: Well, Rick is like a vampire. He needs to be invited in.
Captain: If this goes to court, Warrick's going to have to come back and testify.
Warrick: Well, you got beaches, bikinis, free trip to L.A.? I'm down.

Warrick: This is a big case, I'm in a groove here.
Catherine: Well, groove on down to the strip.

Undersheriff: [to Warwick] I just wanted to congratulate you in person. Sure made a believer outta me.
Warrick: Thanks.
Undersheriff: Look, I don't wanna fire you. I just need to know that you're through running the streets on your own looking for bad guys.
Warrick: Look, I'm done being a rogue in the streets, but there's one son of a bitch still out there and I promise you that we're gonna get him.
Undersheriff: Grissom taught you well.
Warrick: I'd like to think so.
Undersheriff: You never give up.
Warrick: Nope.
Undersheriff: That's what makes you a great CSI.
[takes out his gun and shoots Warrick twice in the head]

Warrick: [as Warrick and Sara are watching Brass get a commendation on TV] Brass looks like he's about to puke.
Sara: Or punch someone.

Archie: Electrocution through the phone line? I thought that was a myth.
Warrick: This look like a myth to you?

Sara: I checked with Homicide again. They found no evidence of foul play.
Warrick: What about the husband, is he still a suspect?
Sara: No motive. O'Riley spoke with friends and relatives. They were a loving couple.
Warrick: What about, uh... life insurance policies?
Sara: No, and you're reaching.
Warrick: I'm not the one who's reaching here.
Sara: We're scientists, right? We want answers, the satisfaction of certainty. I'm not ignoring scientific method. I'm just keeping an open mind. If we eliminate all the alternatives, we're left with spontaneous combustion. That's exciting!
Warrick: That would be cool, but you've been jumping to conclusions from minute one.
Sara: She's a pile of ash.

Warrick: Where are you going?
Gil: Away.
[Rides a rollercoaster alone]

Nick: Julian Harper. Wasn't he supposed to be like the next Brad Pitt or something?
Warrick: Yeah. Now he's the next River Phoenix.

Warrick: [when he opens up the closet door to find a cardboard figure of the Realtor inside] Oh, you gotta be kidding me. Now, that's something.
Nick: What the hell is that?

Warrick: So both of Ray's wives end up dead at the bottom of the stairs with lacerations to the head.
Al: If my full autopsy confirms murder, you may be looking at the first serial stairway killer.

[the team are re-enacting a fight on a plane; Warrick and Nick play a married couple]
Warrick: [to Nick] Go protect me, honey.
Nick: [while moving to the aisle] Excuse me... buttercup.

Warrick: Spontaneous human combustion is science fiction.
Sara: I know.
Warrick: There's no such thing as a human torch.
Sara: What if it is real and we've uncovered it?
Warrick: Sara, this is a crime scene. Stay with me here, okay? Don't lose it.
Sara: I'm not. I'm just open to all theories.

Sara: Ether? That's old school.
Warrick: Yeah, stuff is volatile, flammable. Outside of meth cooks, no one uses it anymore.
Gil: People use what they know.

Catherine: Why is there a ring on your ring finger?
Warrick: Because I'm married.
Catherine: What?
Detective: Congratulations. How much did you pay her?

Warrick: Well, you know Grissom, shortest distance between two points is science. For Catherine, it's pounding the pavement.

Gil: Teenage wasteland.
Warrick: Who?
Gil: Yeah!

Warrick: So this kid has two moms?
Jim: King Solomon threatened to cut the baby in half. What are you going to do?
Catherine: King Solomon didn't have a DNA lab.

[Robbins takes a camera out to snap photos of dead Julian Harper]
Warrick: What are you doing?
Dr. Al Robbins: It's for my scrapbook. I've got a perfect spot for him: A place of honor between Tupac and Entwistle.

Nick: Well, it takes 10 minutes to drive from the clinic to Industrial Road.
Warrick: Yeah?
Nick: Yeah, I had Greg run it.
Warrick: [laughing] That's classic!

Warrick: What did you talk about?
Evan: All right, get this. She tried to tell me that God got her pregnant.
[laughs]
Evan: I mean, if that's true, the big guy owes me an apology 'cause she was my girlfriend. He should have asked me first.

Warrick: $500 for five dollars worth of honey? I don't think it's worth it.
Nightclub: Those are mostly for decoration, but once in a while, some bigwig comes, takes one of 'em out of here.
Horatio: [searching through receipts] Wouldn't it have been easier to put these in order? This is gonna take forever.
Calleigh: Maybe not. I've got a receipt from two nights ago.

David: You remember your geology.
Catherine: Yes! Actually, senior year I took "rocks for jocks", I dated the TA.
Warrick: Lucky guy. I'm sure you got an "A".
Catherine: As a matter of fact, I did.
David: [to Warrick] You're married? Don't flirt.

Catherine: The only thing that sports book means to me is guys without showers.
Warrick: [laughs] That's actually true.

Catherine: Mr. Tombs...
Tavian: You better have a good reason for being here.
Warrick: We're here to find your son.
Catherine: We're with the crime lab and I'm assuming that that's our ransom note.
Tavian: It's my note, my kid, my show.
Warrick: Look, I've seen you take out three guys on the glass and still finish. I'm not here to bang boards with you. I'm here to do my job. It's your son. It's your call.

Gil: [to Warrick] What do you weigh?
Warrick: Uh, that's between me and my trainer.
Gil: Do I have to get a scale?
Warrick: A buck 95, give or take a doughnut.
[Grissom turns to Sara]
Sara: Don't even ask, I'm not telling you.
Gil: Warrick, would you lie down on the floor.
Warrick: I don't get paid enough to play dead.
Gil: Please?
[Warrick gets on the floor]

IA: [as he lays out photos in front of Warrick] Your gun with blood tissue and hair at the scene. Your cuffs, on the vic. You covered in blood. You went to Pigalle to get revenge by giving Lou Gedda a taste of his own medicine. You're a CSI, what's the evidence telling you?
Warrick: [pauses] The evidence is... is suggesting that I did it.

Warrick: Oh, you're only agreeing with Sara's theory because you have a crush on her.
David: No, that's why I wore a clean coat.

Warrick: I thought it was our job to speak for the victim no matter what it took... and to hell with the budgets.
Gil: Our job is to think, Warrick. Machinery should never matter more than our mind.

C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: [Sara and Warrick are examining the "Chamber of Doom" in which a lady disappeared] Is this processed yet?
Warrick: Yeah. Want me to bag it for you?
Sara: Let's take it back to the lab. Maybe we can make Greg disappear.

Warrick: Checking glassware for spots?
Greg: [examining a wine glass] You know, a hot tub is just like a dishwasher. Washes away all of the impurities.
Warrick: Including hydrofluoric acid, huh?
Greg: [speaking in a French accent and showing Warrick a sample jar of wine] '93 Pinot. Either it was a bad year for wine or a bad year for Amelia. I found trace amounts of hydrofluoric acid in the vino.
Warrick: So, somebody did spike the wine?
Greg: Oui.

[the team has entered the secret room and is dumbfounded to see it garnished with man-sized baby furniture]
C.S.I. Swing Shift Supervisor Catherine Willows: Wow! Just when you had thought you'd seen it all.
Warrick: People live in fear with this guy?
C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: Imagine the fear he lived with.

[Grissom wouldn't tell them how he learnt sign language]
Sara: [coming into the room] What was that all about? Grissom signs?
Warrick: What does Grissom drink when he goes out at night?
Sara: He goes out?
Warrick: Exactly. Who knows anything about that guy?

Warrick: You're listening to music?
Mia: [turning down the volume] It was Greg's suggestion.
Warrick: No, it's good. Well, maybe not your music taste, but we'll work on that.

Nick: You can not be serious!
Warrick: Hey! John McEnroe, where's the game?

Warrick: You know, Tina doesn't like me carrying a gun. I play down the fact that I'm a cop when I'm with her anyway.
Nick: Yeah, yeah, you play the scientist card: You're a "copologist".

Warrick: Well, he's a sneaky SOB I'll give him that.

Calleigh: You got a theory on how the mother and daughter ended up all the way in Miami from Las Vegas?
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Well, we don't actually work theories. Do we, Warrick?
Warrick: No, just evidence.
Calleigh: We're much more fanciful down here. Aren't we, Horatio?
Horatio: I think that's a fair description.
Calleigh: My guess is this belongs to a Taurus 9, made in Brazil. It's a cheap Beretta knockoff, and you may not see many of them in Vegas, but we get 'em down here all the time. Which makes me think this guy wasn't fleeing Las Vegas.
Horatio: He was coming home to Miami.

Sara: Do you think we're dressed for a wedding?
Warrick: Not my wedding.

Undersheriff: Do your client and this department a favor, and make a deal. The District Attorney said that he might consider manslaughter.
Warrick: I can't do that.
Undersheriff: Are you telling me that you're innocent? Because I.A. said that those words never crossed your lips.
Warrick: Are you charging me?
Undersheriff: Not yet, but in about five hours, it's gonna be first degree murder.

IA: [to Warwick] You get Holly killed, you get Joanna killed and you just can't take anymore so you kill Gedda. That's how jury's gonna see it.
Warrick: There's nothing that I can do about that.
IA: Sure there is. Look, Lou Gedda was a slime ball. That's common knowledge. Nobody is gonna miss him. In fact, the world is arguably a better place without him.
Warrick: So if I admit to killing him, they'll take it easy on me and you're just trying to help me out, right? You know how many times I used that on a suspect? Don't waste your game, pal.

Catherine: Hey, you.
Warrick: Hey.
Catherine: How uh... are you holding up?
Warrick: I'm fine.
Catherine: You sure?
Warrick: Yeah.
Catherine: ...you're in the women's bathroom.

Nick: Is there anything you won't bet on, man?
Warrick: Nah.

Warrick: Acting supervisor? What about Nick? He's got seniority. Or Sara? She'd jump at the chance
Gil: If it was about seniority, I'd ask Nick. If I needed someone to stay up for three straight days, I'd ask Sara. Instead, I want you.

Sara: You know, when I was in college, I had this boyfriend and I thought we were monogamous. Then one night during the post-coital panty search, he handed a pair of underwear that wasn't mine.
Warrick: Ooh! How'd he explain that one?
Sara: He said they belonged to his sister.
Warrick: Yeah, right. Let's hope your taste in men has improved.
Sara: Yeah.

Emilio: You know where this name comes from? There's a legend in Central America. This man, he woke up in a bad mood. Killed eight members of his family with a machete and then went and had breakfast. Matar, to kill. Ocho, eight. "To kill eight" MA-tocho.
CSI: That's great. The way I see it you're going to have lots of time to tell all kinds of great stories.

Warrick: What's a photography teacher doing touching a student's van?
Gil: [mock seriously] Maybe she wanted a ride.

Warrick: You want his blood?
Gil: One pint, to go.

Warrick: Nice try, Nostradamus.

Warrick: This microscope I got from the high school is a joke.

Warrick: Who brings a gun to a knife fight?
Gil: The winner?

Warrick: [while Nick and Warrick are searching the park where the jogger's body was discovered and it starts to rain] This sucks! But it's evidence, right?
Nick: No, hair and fiber is evidence, Warrick. This is combat duty.
Warrick: [as he sees something on the ground] Yeah, it's somebody's "doody."

Nick: I am sick of these punks, man. I'm serious, I'm sick of it.
Warrick: Then you're in the wrong town.
Nick: Maybe.

Sara: [Warrick is acting supervisor] I ran with the case. I do it with Grissom all the time.
Warrick: Well, I'm not Grissom!

Gil: They have this system in place when you went to school here?
Warrick: With all the stuff me and my boys got away with, it's probably why they have them now.

Greg: I, am a genius.
Warrick: Let me guess, you ran the DNA and got a hit?
Greg: No.
Gil: You ran the DNA and something distinctive came up?
Greg: No.
Warrick: You rolled out of bed and managed to dress yourself?
Greg: No.

[about a hit and run case]
Catherine: All we got is some paint that's going to match about twenty million other vehicles.
Warrick: Yeah.
Catherine: Bastard.

[Nick & Warrick walk towards Greg from behind, both talking loud]
Nick: I thought Greg was in the field. Is he back in the lab?
Warrick: I don't know.
Nick: We've got to clear this up. It's like he's confused. Lab, field, field, lab. We have a lab on wheels.
Greg: How about you guys just shut up, all right? I'm doing this as a favor for Ecklie. It's a one-time thing. He's still interviewing lab techs.
Warrick: You're making overtime?
Greg: I'm taking one for the team.

[Warrick has concluded that the shooter was moving fast while firing]
Dr. Al Robbins: Drive by?
Warrick: With a hit-and-run chaser.

Catherine: So how's your new toy working out?
Warrick: It's been downsized.
Catherine: Bummer. I know how you wanted to see that thing work.
Warrick: Well, it's the same difference, really. Air is drawn into the last tube the chalk absorbs the chemicals from the air. And mass spec will break it down at the lab.
Catherine: So why did you need the expensive one in the first place?
Warrick: [Cath smiles at his honesty] 'Cause it was cool.

Catherine: Hey you.
Warrick: Hey.
Catherine: How... are you holding up?
Warrick: I'm fine.
Catherine: You sure?
Warrick: Yeah.
Catherine: You're in the women's bathroom.
Warrick: [laughs] Oh, God. I'm sorry.
Catherine: [laughs and puts her hands up] Hey. I'm all for it.

Catherine: What do you think?
Warrick: Oh, he's lying. That's why I took this job, I can always tell when a whitey's talking out of his ass. It's a gift.

[looking at pictures of a young, wealthy couple]
Warrick: Bling, bling!
Catherine: The old trophy wife.
Warrick: You think?
Catherine: Classic Vegas. He pays for her boobs, tummy tuck, Prada, weekly spa, French manicure. And she's just hanging on his arm like she belongs.
Warrick: Tell us how you really feel, Catherine.
Catherine: I wouldn't want to be her for the world.
[Warrick gives her a look]
Catherine: Hey, I wouldn't mind it for a day...
Warrick: Well, not this day.

Catherine: So, Tavian was paying Bridget child support: $3 grand a month.
Warrick: Three grand a month? Tavian Tombs has been a $12 million-a-year player for eight seasons, not including endorsements.
Catherine: Well, he made his deal with Bridget when Tramelle was born. Bad timing for her.
Warrick: Motive for us. She was right to assume that Tavian would immediately pay that ransom. What's $5 million to a guy who makes hundreds of millions?
Catherine: And it is his son. I'm sure he would have paid any amount. So, how does that dog kennel guy Price figure into all this? And was killing him part of the plan?
Warrick: I don't know. I think that Bridget Willis killed him because he killed Isaiah.
[Flashback shows Bridget Willis hitting Jacob Price with the shovel; Price falls to the ground and Bridget runs away from the scene]
Catherine: In her act of redemption, she gives Tramelle to Tavian.

Catherine: Pig and the piglets are in the pigpen.
Warrick: About time. Finally some good news.
Catherine: Did you know Pig, a.k.a Cole Tritt, was the only adult? The rest were all under 18. One was 14.
Warrick: You're kidding. Who raises these kids?
Catherine: I mean, they weren't all delinquents. Demetrius James was a college student.
Nick: Hangin' out with the wrong crowd in the wrong town. I'm tellin' ya, havin' a fake I.D in Las Vegas is like havin' a - a free ticket on the hell train. Sex, drugs, gambling, no adult supervision, 24/7, by the time they're 21 they've done and seen it all.
Catherine: Make me slit my wrists why don't ya? I'm raising a teenager here.
Warrick: Ah, you're doin' a great job, Linds is gonna turn out to be a beautiful young woman. Besides, I grew up in Vegas, I didn't turn out so bad, did I?
Nick: Yeah. That was pre-Mirage. Back when you were goin' to the casino, playin' the arcade games. Nah, Vegas is a different animal now.
Warrick: Yeah, these kids need to beat people up in the street to be entertained. They need some good discipline, they need their grandmother whuppin' their ass like I had.
Nick: Yeah, a good slap.
Sara: You know, it kinda sounds like you guys are blaming everyone but these kids. I mean, you don't get a bye just because you grew up here or your parents are on drugs or - - those kids were perfectly capable of telling the difference between a wild night out and beating somebody to death.
Gil: The truth is, a moral compass can only point you in the right direction, it can't make you go there. Our culture preaches that you shouldn't be ashamed of anything you do anymore. And unfortunately this city is built on the principle that there's no such thing as guilt. "Do whatever you want, we won't tell." So without a conscience, there's nothing to stop you from killing someone. And evidently you don't even have to feel bad about it.

Warrick: [to Nick who has grown a mustache] Hey, mustache boy.

Warrick: Sex, drugs and movies - The American Dream.

Gil: Tom Haviland's attorneys are not waiving time.
Nick: Are you serious?
Sara: They're actually exercising their right to a speedy trial?
Gil: No requests for continuances, no stall tactics. They're pushing for their day in court.
Warrick: Good defense attorney always does the last thing you expect.
Catherine: Yeah. What typically drags on for months has now been put on the fast track and the prelim is less than 72 hours.
Greg: I'm only done processing half the evidence.
Catherine: You're going to have to call in help, because if the judge thinks that our evidence isn't strong enough to go to trial, he's going to dismiss the charges on Tom.
Sara: Can't the D.A. drop the charges and we'll refile when we get our evidence together?
Catherine: Sure, but the odds are that Tom will relocate to Europe and pull a Polanski.
Greg: And what's a Polanski?
Gil: Get-out-of-jail-free card. One more thing: Westcott just added a forensic scientist to their roster. She wants him to examine every piece of evidence we have against Haviland.
Nick: As soon as it's processed they'll get a copy of our report.
Gil: They're entitled to see it as it's processed.
Nick: I've never done a case where the defendant took advantage of that rule of discovery.
Gil: Well, when you can't attack the evidence itself, you attack the method of gathering the evidence.
Sara: So who's their guy?
Gil: Dr. Phillip Gerard.
Sara: Phillip Gerard? Your mentor is their forensic scientist?
Gil: Yeah. Marjorie Westcott's a smart lawyer.

Warrick: Hey, Griss. So Hodges told me that you're flying the coop. What's the matter, you sick of babysittin'?
Gil: Just the opposite, I'm a teacher with no students.
Warrick: I've still got a lot to learn. And besides, having you around kinda keeps me honest.
Gil: Whether you know it or not, you're the rock of my team. Catherine's gonna be in charge for a while, while I'm gone. Just be there for her like you've been there for me and it'll all be fine.
Warrick: Thanks man, that means a lot. You know I got you covered.

Sara: Do you have any physical evidence that would conclusively rule Hannah out as a suspect?
Nick: Well... yeah. She's four-foot three and sixty-five pounds. The crime just required more strength than she's got.
Catherine: How old is she?
Nick: 12.
Warrick: In high school?
Nick: She's a high school senior. She skipped six grades. She's a prodigy.
Sara: Which means that she has the brains for murder.

David: Hey, I heard about court today. Must have been embarrassing, huh?
Warrick: Hodges, why'd you leave L.A. again? Never mind, it's probably none of my business.

[Warrick snaps photos of the dead body]
Dr. Al Robbins: Julian Harper. If it weren't for the cyanosis, I'd say he was doing a photo shoot for GQ.
Warrick: Yeah, I'm sure he wasn't ready for *this* photo shoot.

Warrick: How do you want us to handle this?
Gil: Same way you'd eat an elephant... one bite at a time.

Warrick: You know, what happened to Nick - it just got me thinking. Life is so short, you know? It's almost... it's almost shorter than we wanna ever believe.
Catherine: "Live for the day."
Warrick: Exactly. So, I, ah, I've been heading to ask this young lady I've been seeing, Tina, to marry me.
Catherine: You know that I'm happy for you.
Warrick: Yeah?
Catherine: Yeah.
Warrick: Well, it also feels like you're not so happy for me.
Catherine: Warrick...
[pause]
Catherine: You know, the thing that makes a fantasy great is the possibility that it might come true. And when you lose that possibility - it just kind of sucks.

Cole: Man, you're weak, weak, weak, weak.
[Nick walks up to him]
Cole: I'm sorry, you're not weak. You're a joke.
Warrick: Nick, Nick.
[Nick looks at Warrick, grinning; Warrick shakes his head; Nick hits Tritt. Warrick runs over and pulls Nick back]
Cole: Man, anyone get that on video?
[holds up his cell phone]
Cole: I'll take a picture myself.

Sara: Why are you throwing phone books?
Warrick: Because a beaker gets glass all over the place.

Catherine: [slaps human-sized ballistics-gel dummy made by Warrick and Nick to test a theory] Do you know how much ballistic gel costs?
Warrick: Didn't know you did.

Warrick: Hey, you know, uh, Jim, I'm here all weekend. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call... Remember, what happens in L.A., stays in L.A.

Warrick: I was talking to Tina the other night. She said something that made me think.
Greg: [coughs] Yoko Ono.

Warrick: [on seeing Doc Robbins yawn] What's the matter Doc, you been hitting it a little too hard?
Dr. Robbins: No, canine-induced insomnia. I'm fostering some puppies. Jack Russells. Had me up all night. How 'bout a puppy to keep you company?
Warrick: No, if I stay up all night, it's not going to be because of a puppy.

Warrick: What are you doing here?
Nick: I'm playing cards. With my friend.

Detective: Electrocution. That's a quick way to go.
Warrick: Not always.

David: I was just having the greatest dream.
Warrick: You were out.
David: It was the 80's and I had this Don Johnson beard, you know, the "Miami Vice" stubble. It just gave me this air of danger. My lady loved it.

Warrick: Who do you like?
Catherine: Charlotte. My mother grew up in North Carolina.
Warrick: Okay, I'll give you Charlotte +2.
Catherine: What do I get if I win?
Warrick: How about a fabulous dinner.
Catherine: I'll take your action.

Captain: Can you get a set of prints off those balloons?
Warrick: I can get a print off of air.

Catherine: Hey, I got the DNA results. The boy is Adam Esposito. Victor and Valerie are his parents.
Warrick: There you go. She's lying. She doesn't have a son.
Catherine: Uh, not quite. She's got 13 alleles in common with the male DNA that we got from the toothbrush exemplar.
Gil: So she does have a son.
Catherine: I was inside the house. Believe me, a kid does live there.
Gil: And we're still looking for Jesse Matthews.

Sara: Wow. Maybe Mr. Desmond was trying to protect the family's fortune
Wendy: Or the family jewels. I got the results back from all the stains on the sheets. 3 donors: Ahren, Bianca and Chelsea
Warrick: Well I guess they were having a little threesome
Wendy: Yeah I just really hope he was only doing one woman at the time. Chelsea is Bianca's mother

David: I perfected my butterfly technique on chicken breasts. I sauté them in a chardonnay reduction with herbes de provence. Drives women wild. Well, mom. Now say the magic words.
Warrick: Shut up, Hodges?
David: No. "Open sesame."

Warrick: I blew it.
Gil: Yeah, but you're not the one who's paying for it.

Warrick: Who brings a gun to a knife fight?
Gil: The winner?

Warrick: Where have you been?
Gil: I can't be everywhere, and they've banned human cloning.

CSI: So, you always clean your boots with bleach, el MaTOcho?
Emilio: Laughs
CSI: Something funny?
Emilio: MAtocho. Nonsense word.

Catherine: I got blood.
Warrick: I got a noisemaker.

Warrick: Listen, Grissom, I'm so sorry about all of this.
[sighs]
Warrick: And... yeah.
Gil: You were framed.
Warrick: Framed?
[Grissom nods and Warrick breathes a sigh of relief]
Warrick: By who?
Gil: Gedda has a mole in the department.
Warrick: A cop?
Gil: Daniel Pritchard. We think that he had him kill Lenny Harper and probably Joanna as well.
Warrick: And why would he kill Gedda?
Gil: Who knows? Old mobsters, crooked cops, it's a long history.
Warrick: I don't know. I mean, come on, Grissom. Gedda's been killing and barbecuing people for 25 years. It would take more than a beat cop to get one over on that fat bastard. It's gotta be someone higher up than that.
Gil: Probably, but Pritchard's all we got for now.

Warrick: Only clue he's got is a missing boat, which sucks because... it's missing.

Warrick: What ever happened, "To cross the tape, go the distance"?
Catherine: [dials number on cell phone] I was probably saying that to get you to service my needs at the time.
Catherine: [Sara answers]
[still half asleep]
Catherine: Hello.
Catherine: Hey Sara you sleepin'?
Sara: [sighs] Yeah.
Catherine: Aww...

Warrick: I hear David's resurrecting the dead now.
Gil: [chuckles] Yeah, our little miracle worker.

Catherine: [Looking at the bite marks] These marks arn't consistant with human teeth.
David: What about fangs?
Warrick: Fangs? come on!

Warrick: You don't recognize that guy, do you? It's Tom Haviland, movie star.
Gil: Clark Gable was a movie star.

Catherine: [after realising 'Sorenson' is a painting not a person] How dumb are we?
Warrick: [scoff] What's he know about the forensic analysis of a friction ridge?
Catherine: Right on.

Warrick: [to Warwick] The D.A's gonna drop the charges.
[Warrick sighs in relief]
Warrick: But there's still the question of administrative violation. So, Ecklie and I are recommending to the Undersheriff that you be suspended and demoted, but not terminated.
Gil: So I still have a job?
Warrick: Well, the Undersheriff says that he has to think about it, but he just wants to make you sweat.
Gil: I've sweat enough.
Warrick: I'd imagine.
Gil: [hugs Grissom and holds on to him for a moment] Thank you. Thank you.

Sara: We were just talking about murder and whether we would commit it. I couldn't, Warrick could and Nick's on the fence. We're taking an exit poll.
Nick: Catherine, you're a mother. You and Lindsey are on that plane. How far do you go?
Catherine: All the way.
Sara: [surprised] You didn't even hesitate.
Catherine: That's right. If it involves the protection of my child I fight to the death.
Warrick: See? We have four people here, all with different opinions. Think of how the passengers must have felt.
Sara: What do you think, Grissom?
Gil: I can't answer that question.
Catherine: That's a cop-out. It's a simple question. What would you have done if you had been one of those passengers?
Gil: It's not about that. You all have different opinions but you've taken the same point of view. You've put yourself in the shoes of the passengers, but nobody's put themselves in the shoes of the victim. That's the point.
Sara: I'm sorry. What are you saying?
Gil: Nobody stopped to ask Candlewell if he was all right. They just assumed, because he was kicking the back of Nate's seat, that he was a jerk - because he was pushing his call button that he was bothering the Flight Attendant - because he was trying to get into the lavatory he was making a scene - because he was going back and forth up and down the aisles, he was posing a threat.
Catherine: He was a threat.
Gil: No. He turned into a threat. It didn't have to be that way. People make assumptions. That's the problem. You just did. And I think these passengers made the wrong assumption and now this guy's dead.
Warrick: Well, if that's your stance how could it have been prevented?
Gil: If just one person had stopped and taken the time to look at the guy, to listen to him, to figure out what was wrong with him it might not have happened. It took five people to kill him. It would've only taken one person to save his life.

David: [looking at stuffed head] This is a career first.
Warrick: A little tip for you. The new Mrs. Phillips doesn't need to hear that.
David: Are you kidding me, she'll want to hear every detail. Why do you think I married her?