300 Best CSI Catherine Willows Quotes

Gil: [to Catherine] What are you doing?
Catherine: The carnival case. I'm taking it.
Gil: The carnival case?
Catherine: A 6-year-old girl died on a ride at the carnival over on Washington. The paperwork's on your desk.
[Grissom nods and glances at his office]
Gil: Did you straighten up my office while you were in there?
Catherine: You think I overstepped?
[Grissom shakes his head]
Catherine: These people come to town, they commit crimes and they leave. I just want to get there before the carnival moves on.
Gil: Okay. Take Sara with you.
Catherine: She's meeting me there.

[Beeper goes off; Catherine calls in]
Jerrod: Hello?
Catherine: Oh, hey.
Jerrod: Who's this? I just dialed my own damn beeper.
Catherine: It's my beeper now. I found it.
Jerrod: It ain't your beeper, girl. That's my beeper. I do a lot of business on that beeper.
Catherine: What kinda business?
Jerrod: Oh, you know. Slangin' a little somethin' somethin'.
Catherine: Oh, a little somethin' something'. Maybe a little bling-bling?
Jerrod: What do you know about some bling-bling?
Catherine: Invite me over to your crib, baby, and you might find out.
Jerrod: It's on. Three Aces Motel. Room 202.
Catherine: Three Aces Motel, room 202. See you soon.
[she hangs up, and looks at Sara who was listening]
Catherine: Did I just do that?
Sara: What's a "bling bling"?
Catherine: Got me.

Dr. Al Robbins: [discussing findings re: latest victim] Well, Tox detected methamphetamine, sildenafil, and oxycodone.
Catherine: Stimulant, erection, and a painkiller. Party in a pill.
Dr. Al Robbins: Where was that on my wedding night?

Catherine: [about Karen] Well, I'll get a DNA exemplar for Jesse and let her get some sleep.
Jim: She won't sleep.

Catherine: [to Douglas Sampson about Susan Hodap] You killed her.
Sara: [to Douglas Sampson, referencing the fact that he became infected with HIV by exposing himself to Susan's infected blood while killing her] I guess she killed you back.

Catherine: If something doesn't feel right to you, it usually isn't.

[Grissom and Willows enter a restaurant to investigate the death of one of its chefs. The hostess stops answering a very busy phone and turns to them]
The: Hi, last name?
Gil: We don't have reservation. We're here...
The: [taking back the phone] Party of four? Three weeks from Thursday? Let me see...
Catherine: Excuse me but you don't understand...
The: [holding up the phone] No, I'm sorry you don't understand. Your walk-in's in a very busy night. We're short a chef.
Catherine: We know. He's dead.
Gil: Not only dead. Dismembered. We're with the crime lab.
The: [putting down the phone] I'll get the owner.

Catherine: I don't know who killed Christina Adalian, I don't know how she got pregnant, and I don't know the identity of the baby's biological parents.
Gil: It's always good to know what you don't know.

CSI Dr. Gil Grissom: [about the murder victim] Multiple contusions to the back of the skull. Might've been taken by surprise.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Robbery interruptus?
CSI Dr. Gil Grissom: Yeah, I think our robbery suspect is a homicide victim.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: One way to beat the rap.

Sara: [about Catherine's daughter having a birthday] What's the rule, how long do I have to be here before I start kickin' in for gifts?
Catherine: When spirit moves you, Sara, so in your case I guess, um, never.

Gil: I've enjoyed working with you.
Catherine: Which part? The part where I got in your face or the part where I, uh, lost evidence, or, uh, maybe you just missed me?
Gil: I did miss you. I missed your passion and your tenacity. I even missed your tush.

Nick: "Sabbatical" is usually a euphemism for "sayonara." I don't think Grissom's coming back.
Catherine: Why wouldn't he?
Nick: I don't know. He shaved his beard, he's lost a little weight, he's been leaving when shift is over. I think he even took a day off last week.
Catherine: Maybe he's got himself a girlfriend.

Catherine: So I've got the phone, a key, but no purse.
Nick: Mugging?
Catherine: Take the purse, leave the Lex?

Catherine: Timecode is 06.36 but the alarm rang out at 06.58. That's 22 minutes later.
Archie: What kind of fireman comes before the fire?
C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: Someone who knows it's coming.
Hard: Mr. Grissom we made a mistake. Can you say it one more time for the camera?
[Gil Grissom stares at him]

Nick: Hey, Catherine, when's your little girl comin' by?
Catherine: She isn't.
Nick: Yeah, but I got her a chem set.
[looks over to see Grissom had bought the same gift]
Sara: You keep that; might learn something.
Nick: Stop flirting with me.

Sara: Hey, Grissom, could you come tape me up?
Grissom: [to Catherine] I love my work.
Catherine: It shows.

Jimmy: I can't believe you're doing this to me. I gave you your career.
Catherine: I earned my career. And you did this to yourself. You fabricated evidence, Jimmy.
Jimmy: You were two steps from turning tricks. And this is the thanks I get?
Catherine: I danced - period. And instead of feeling sorry for yourself, think about this: When you were out there planting evidence on a case that you couldn't break, Stephanie's real killer got away. And he's still out there. Because you sold the one thing a cop can't afford to sell: your integrity. So you tell me, between the two of us, who's the whore?

[Examining a crime scene]
Nick: So, what do you think it is? Cocaine maybe?
Catherine: Nope.
Nick: How can you tell just by looking at it?
Catherine: Never you mind.

Catherine: So you get the team back together only to break us apart again. What kind of a perverse game are you playing here, Gil?
Gil: I'm not a pervert.

Catherine: [to Nick] Remember, if you get stuck just maintain the same posture. If there's any adjustments, you're seen as squirming. It's going to make you look shifty.
Nick: Thanks, Cath. You know, I've done this before.
Catherine: Well, I've done it longer.

Greg: Cath? Your DNA results are back. According to my DNA data, the chances are 814 quadrillion to one - that your suspect is our killer. Pretty good stats...
Catherine: Yeah, considering there are only six billion people in world.

Warrick: Who do you like?
Catherine: Charlotte. My mother grew up in North Carolina.
Warrick: Okay, I'll give you Charlotte +2.
Catherine: What do I get if I win?
Warrick: How about a fabulous dinner.
Catherine: I'll take your action.

Dr. Jenna Williams: The leg was severed post-mortem.
Catherine: Well, that's good news.
Dr. Jenna Williams: How do you figure?
Catherine: Would you want to be alive while your leg's being cut off?

Catherine: Naked kid under a blanket at his shrink's late at night and his mother's there.
Greg: Yeah, your case just entered a whole new dimension of weird.

Catherine: It's just such a lousy way to find out that you're my father.

Gil: I just finished your eval.
Catherine: And?
Gil: In the comments section, I noted that if you had my job, these evaluations wouldn't be late.
Catherine: Thank you.

Catherine: Caught in the act.
Gil: I think that was the point.
Catherine: Oh, yeah.

Catherine: [analyzing boxers] Alright, what do those look like to you?
Greg: Semen stains.
Catherine: Yeah.
Greg: Which on a man's underwear aren't exactly probative.
Catherine: No.
Greg: I can't tell you how long they've been there or how often the guy changes his shorts. You know, I knew guys who could go up to four days on one single pair of tighty whities.
Catherine: Thanks for puttin' that picture in my brain.

Catherine: Why now?
Mickey: Because that tiny piece of metal that Johnny shot in my chest has finally moved. Doctors gave me a week, maybe two to live. Think I'd go out with a bang, never see the inside of a cell. It's really funny at all, one little bullet, can make things suddenly seem so clear.
Catherine: [shows him a bullet she's holding in her hand] You mean this bullet? Mob doctors become mob doctors because they sucked in the first place. But we've got a licensed surgeon to fix you up good! Truth is Mickey you're gonna live, another 20-30 years, and you'll be spending every day in a federal penitentiary.

Warrick: Whatever happened to, "You cross the tape, you go the distance."?
Catherine: I was probably saying that to get you to service my needs at the time.

Augie: My DNA is your DNA.
Catherine: Great.

[last lines]
Catherine: It isn't over.

[Processing the crime scene in the 2nd scenario]
Catherine: [Talking to a voice recorder] The condition of the interior could be the result of a struggle, or the simple understandable panic of a man trapped inside a freezer. In any event, the emergency relieve handle appears to be bend and rendered inoperative and several chemical contenders broken in the process, possibly releasing chloroform under this place. I'm sending samples to Trace to confirm.
[Turns off the recorder and smiles]
Catherine: Trace, is there anything you can't do?
[Back to reality]
Wendy: [Rolling eyes] Hodges!
David: Sorry.

[Cath comes back from a body farm]
Sara: Wow, you got to go to the body farm? I've always wanted to go there! What was it like?
Catherine: Quiet.

Dickie: Hey! Dickie Jones. And you are?
Catherine: ...Busy.
Dickie: How about after your shift I take you up a cup of coffee? I can tell you my whole life story.
Catherine: [Smiling] No thanks.
Dickie: It's just a cup of coffee darling, I'm not asking you to make love.
[Catherine walks away]
Dickie: I'm not running away anyway. You know, I could open up your world to you. Have you ever had the back of those thighs kissed by a man-who's standing up?
Catherine: [Catherine burst out laughing]

C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: [as Catherine visits Melissa/Tammy in jail] Thank you. I got a call that Melissa wanted to see me.
Tammy: Thanks for coming.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Am I speaking to Melissa or Tammy?
Tammy: Melissa. I know who I am now after spending time with my real parents.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: [shakes her head] I'm not an attorney. There are no privileges here. Whatever you say...
Tammy: [interrupts her] What are my chances... . in court?
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: The evidence is damaging.
Tammy: If I plead insanity...?
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: You have a lawyer. Why are you asking me?
Tammy: You wanted to help me. When I I.D.'d Joe, you were kind. I need you to testify that I was not sane at the time that I killed Joe. My lawyer says that would go a really long way with a jury.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: [shakes her head] I'm not an expert.
Tammy: But it doesn't matter. You spent time with me. You could answer questions the right way. I can't explain what happened in that room today, but it's like... the only memories I have are of being a little kid. The last 21 years are blank, like they never happened.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Then you shouldn't have any memories of me... . Tammy. There is no Melissa, is there?
Tammy: Get the hell out of here.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: I'm gone.
[turns to leave]
Tammy: [in a little girl voice] Don't go!
[Catherine stops to look at her]
Tammy: Don't leave me here with her.
[in her normal voice]
Tammy: Just practicing for court. Not bad, huh?

Catherine: Sam!
[Sam stops walking and turns around]
Catherine: What do you know about what happened to Lindsey?
Sam: What do you know about it?
Catherine: Who's using us to get to you? This is your granddaughter we're talking about. What the hell do you know?
[Sam stops and looks at Catherine; he reaches into his pocket and takes out an envelope]
Sam: Front desk found this in the quick checkout bin.
[Catherine opens up the envelope and takes out a photo of her sprawled naked on the bed in the motel]
Catherine: [as she reads the message on the photo] Can you guess what you're going to give me?
[to Sam]
Catherine: What does that mean? Who's behind this?
Sam: I don't know. This was just found. Same place.
[takes: "20 million by wire. #77-889-9000-662. Banque Royale Geneva]
Catherine: Where is she? Who has her?
Sam: I swear, I don't know.
Catherine: Like hell! I blame you! I blame you for this!
Sam: I never wanted to involve you personally or professionally in any of my business.
Catherine: Business? You don't have a business. You're a thug in thousand dollar shoes!
[Sam slaps Catherine across the face]
Catherine: Thanks for not disappointing me, Sam.

Sybil: [to Catherine about Alicia] You have no idea what it's like.
Catherine: I saw her medical records. I looked at her x-rays. I know what that little girl suffered, what you put her through.
Sybil: So you would let your child die and do nothing. Never. No, you'd talk to doctors and research. And then you'd find out that the national bone marrow registry can't help you 'cause your son is mixed race. And even if he wasn't, there aren't enough donors. Out of four million, only 205,000 are Latino. I did what I had to do.
Catherine: You put one child over another.
Sybil: [scoffs] I don't expect you to understand. You don't have kids.
Catherine: Uh, I have a daughter.
Sybil: So, what kind of mother are you? When do you see her? You work nights. You probably don't even know where she is half the time. Alicia's life may not have been simple, but at least I knew her. Can you say the same?

Catherine: [to the desk clerk] Did you see me last night?
Desk: Yeah, you were feeling no pain.
Catherine: Who was I with? Describe him. Was he white, black, tall? Hair color, car?
Desk: Look, lady, I get paid not to notice.

George: I need a lawyer.
Catherine: I need your clothes.

Eric: Someone gonna cover me?
Horatio: I got you.
Catherine: Cover you for what?
Eric: Alligators.

Catherine: Heather on the other hand, uninhibited, and can beat him at mental chess...
Catherine: [Sara can't believe what she's hearing] They had chemistry and he's a scientist, I have no proof and I know he'd never tell me, but I'm certain they spent the night together... I wonder which one wore the chaps.
Sara: [clears her throat] Lots of coins and toothpicks, they don't sweep under here.
Catherine: More power to him really to find someone outside of work, 'cause... you start fishing from the company pier and asking for trouble.
[Sara has a look of total shock]

Catherine: Tough shift.
Greg: You did say "shift", right?

Catherine: [Reading from her computer] "Caprice Unlimited. Anything is possible".
[Picking up the phone]
Catherine: Sounds like a sex business.
Sara: What are you gonna say?
Catherine: Huh something other than - A guy is dead and it looks like you're involved.

Catherine: What do you think?
Warrick: Oh, he's lying. That's why I took this job, I can always tell when a whitey's talking out of his ass. It's a gift.

Catherine: [to Carla Dantini] You took your daughter to the carnival 'cause "kids get hurt there all the time". You thought the blame would leave town with the ride. Well, you should have planned better.
[grabs Carla's arm to stop her from walking away]
Catherine: What did you actually think? That you and your boyfriend would run off like newlyweds? No kid? No cares?
Hugh: I never thought anything like that.
Catherine: She did.
[to Carla]
Catherine: Didn't you?
[Carla doesn't answer her]
Carla: [in a cold tone of voice] I'm going to need a new lawyer.
Catherine: [to Sara] Bag the evidence.
[to Brass]
Catherine: Arrest her, Jim.

Catherine: [to Greg] So you did the tox screen on my carny?
Greg: Roger that. You know, I have seen guys drink, like, 5 gallons of water to try and dilute their urine. It's the old straight flush. But all bad boy Sanders has to do is just test their specific gravity and... blammo! I can still catch their toxic butts.

Nick: [while watching an attractive girl undress in a video] Blam.
Archie: You can say that again.
Nick: Blam.
Catherine: Down, boys.

Catherine: How about the grill marks?
Hodges: Oh, yeah, I'll run it through the hot dog appliances database.

Gil: We have one too many Bibles.
Catherine: I don't think they helped.

Vickie: You have no idea what it's like to watch your child die.
Paul: We couldn't go through that again.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: The shame of it is you didn't have to. The enzyme test that Dr. Garner ran came back negative. Joshua didn't have Tay-Sachs. You killed a perfectly healthy baby.

Gil: Male cat urine. To us: smelly. To female cat, it must be like aftershave.
Catherine: Me-ow.

Greg: [Grissom and Catherine walk into Greg's lab to see him rocking out to blaring rock and roll music] I could have been a rock star.
Gil: There's still time, Greg. Tell us about the foreign substance we found in the vic's wound track.
Greg: Uh, well, I like to rub it all over a lady's body. Even better... I, uh... like it when she rubs it all over me. And it's also used as a stool softner.
Catherine: It's also the only open lead in our case. Spit it out, Greg.
Greg: Mineral oil.
Gil: Possibly used as a preservative to prevent rusting of high-carbon steel.
Catherine: Like the blades of knives.
Greg: Old knives. New ones are made from stainless steel. Yeah, I'm like a sponge. I just absorb information.
Gil: I thought that was my line.
Greg: Yeah, and I absorbed it.
Catherine: Okay, so... knives, screwdrivers, ice pick, letter opener. We're looking for a weapon with a splash of mineral oil. I'll grab the ALS.
Greg: An ALS. For mineral oil?
Gil: Mineral oil fluoresces at 525 nanometers when filtered through a kv590. A little more absorbing... a little less rock and roll.

Catherine: Okay, come on, Jim. Give it up. I know you know something about Grissom and Lady Heather.
Captain: I know something a lot juicier than Grissom and Lady Heather.

[after she has fallen onto the victims' blood]
Catherine: Don't touch me, I'm evidence.

Greg: Everyone except for the little guy was getting high and getting by. The girl's on uppers, mom's on downers and grandma sucks on the cancer stick.
Catherine: Ritalin, valium and Grandma's a liar.
Greg: Pants on fire.

Catherine: Why are you talking to yourself?
Gil: I'm trying a new technique.
Catherine: Is it working?
Gil: I have no idea.

Catherine: Well, in addition to exchanging bodily fluids, did you exchange gifts?

Catherine: Who found her?
Captain: Guy over there in the ten gallon, Vernon Porter. He's the night watchman. All the employees are required to wear that cowboy getup. That's the job cops get after they retire.
Catherine: You've got something to look forward to Jim.
Captain: Yes, Ma'am.

Sofia: Gold Square Bar, gold wad of tissue in her purse. Figured it was worth checking out. Looks like a bar napkin.
Catherine: Yeah, that's been shaped, rolled and twisted. Las Vegas origami. Pretty corny.
Sofia: Probably work on me.
[she and Catherine chuckle]
Catherine: That bad, huh?

Captain: I got the state medical records for Howard Ashton Winston; born August 12, 2000. Would've been three years old.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: When did he die?
Captain: Last year. Tay-Sachs disease.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Oh, that's incurable. Like MS, right?
Captain: Yeah, I worked with a cop in New Jersey whose son died from it. Aw, the poor kid went blind, couldn't swallow. In the end, he couldn't even lift his head up.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: The Winstons never mentioned they had another child.
Captain: Losing one kid is tough, but two?
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: I know it.

Catherine: [Looking at the bite marks] These marks arn't consistant with human teeth.
David: What about fangs?
Warrick: Fangs? come on!

[Eddie, Cath's ex is accused of rape]
Gil: What's the status?
Catherine: Skin samples from under the women's fingernails are consistent with Ed's. I saw some bruises. But Eddie's style has always been very... involved. Vigorous.
Gil: ...Vigorous.
Warrick: She's trying to tell you Eddie likes it rough.
Catherine: Thank you, Warrick.

Al: Piano wires. They're used to mobilize the lower part of the abdominal skin and anchor the neo-vagina, so it can heal in place.
Catherine: I can only imagine those cramps.

Catherine: [after Sara has tried to change the subject three times] My fantasy does not include costumes. Not pain, and certainly not sawdust.
[she dusts off her leg]
Catherine: You?
[Sara turns away awkwardly]

Catherine: So that leaves you, Warrick. What were you?
Warrick: Oh, I was short, I had big feet, thick glasses.
Warrick: You?
Warrick: Yeah. I got pushed around by all the guys and never got any play from the girls.
Catherine: The girls didn't even notice your eyes?
Warrick: No, they used to tease me about my eyes. Called me names.
Catherine: Aww, well, what do they know? They're your best feature.

Catherine: [about Thayer] The guy's an ass.
Gil: He used to be a competent scientist. We actually co-authored a paper together 10 years ago. I believe greed has gotten in his way.
Catherine: Well, I've seen him on the stand. He manipulates evidence.
Gil: He manipulates people. The public assumes that scientists are ethical, but many of us are no better than politicians, evidently.

Catherine: [loud music blaring from Thumpy G's car] Hey! You deaf?
Thumpy: Thanks a lot. What's up? I'm Thumpy G.
Catherine: A jackhammer is about 50 decibels quieter.
Thumpy: Y'know, the only way to beat a jackhammer is to bust 15,000 watts of Run-DMC's "Dumb Girl," or, or LL Cool J's "Going Back To Cali?"
[from offscreen, a friend calls to him; Thumpy G answers]
Thumpy: What up, dog?
Catherine: Yo, Thumpy, you blow out a lot of eardrums?
Thumpy: Try to.
Detective: You know this cat, Jace Felder?
[shows Thumpy G photo]
Thumpy: Negative!
[is distracted by a girl walking by offscreen]
Thumpy: Hey, what's up, baby?
[eyes follow the girl as she walks away]
Catherine: Hey, Thumper! How about we impound your car, seize your stereo system, and charge you with disturbing the peace?
Thumpy: Oh, but it's hot now, it's real hot. All right, you know, yo, it's coming back to me.
Nick: We're all ears.

Gil: My God. She was at the crime scene.
Nick: So she salvages the car, and somehow gets it out to the desert, and grabs Sara, and puts her under it?
Warrick: I don't get it. What does Sara have to do with bleach?
Catherine: I don't know. This just feels different.
Gil: It is different.
[flashback to crime scene where Grissom takes a camera from Sara and caresses her arm]
Gil: This girl holds me responsible for the death of Ernie Dell. I took away the only person she ever loved, so she's gonna do the same thing to me
[everyone looks confused]

Gordon: The Corwins lent me their jet.
Catherine: Just like they lent you their boat?
Gordon: Ask the pilot. Dylan called him in person telling him to fly me to Monaco.
Horatio: Hmm. I'd rather call Dylan at the hospital to confirm.
Catherine: The husband didn't die. You left us a witness and enough evidence to incriminate you in two states.

Gil: Aborigines say they dance naked to make the gods happy.
Catherine: The gods would be happy in Vegas.

Gil: So, let's assume that 'shoe print' was involved in all four murders. It's possible that he knew, Gerald, right? Is it also possible that he was an accomplice of D.J.K.?
Greg: That would explain the 9 post-mortem stab wounds in Ian Wallace. It's a continuation of the master's work.
Catherine: But if he was D.J.K.'s helper, back in the day, why go quiet for 10 years then suddenly start killing again?
Greg: Maybe he was doing time?
Catherine: And when he realized that his old partner turned informant, he got scared and killed him.
Gil: Maybe that's what brought the old thrill back. Once these guys get a taste, it never seems to go away.

Catherine: So how's your new toy working out?
Warrick: It's been downsized.
Catherine: Bummer. I know how you wanted to see that thing work.
Warrick: Well, it's the same difference, really. Air is drawn into the last tube the chalk absorbs the chemicals from the air. And mass spec will break it down at the lab.
Catherine: So why did you need the expensive one in the first place?
Warrick: [Cath smiles at his honesty] 'Cause it was cool.

Catherine: [after Grissom pulls the 4x4 to the road side during her training run] 20 C.S.I.s, 200 runners...
Gil: Don't blame me. Blame him
[Shines his torch onto a corpse by the side of the road]

[Greg works on live maggots in a container with a scotch tape along its edges]
Catherine: What's with the tape?
Greg: The evidence wasn't cooperating, so I stuck it to them.
Catherine: [smiling] Cute...

Gil: You showered.
Catherine: Thanks for noticing Gil, you're very observant.
Gil: [studying a surveillance tape and inadvertently blocking Cath's view] Can't tell what I'm observing here. What does that look like?
Catherine: A five-foot-eleven workaholic.

Gil: Whoa, this is incredibly detailed. Eyelashes, nostrils...
Catherine: Oh yeah, that's what you see out of. I once dated the Detroit Lions Mascot. Off season. Dutch was his name.
Gil: The breadth of your social experience never ceases to impress me.

C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Wait, so you're saying the guy has B.O.?
C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: Body odor, bad breath. I don't know. There's something about Adam Van der Welk that makes him smell.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: All this because some showgirl said he smelled sweet?
C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: Sickly sweet. Smells can be like fingerprints, my dear.

Gil: Sometimes I can be a little thoughtless.
Catherine: I wouldn't say that. Not just any guy would walk a girl to the morgue.

Lieutenant: I just made Lieutenant. I've got nothing to prove.
Catherine: A man with nothing to prove. That's a first.

Catherine: .25 Pistol on the floor, and a 25 shell case right next to it.
Nick: Warrick's service pistol is till in evidence, he didn't carry a backup.
Catherine: It's gotta be the murder weapon.
Nick: Leave the gun, take the cannolli. This was a hit.

Gil: Did you hear the one about the cop and the monkey who go into a bar?
Catherine: I'm not in the mood.
Gil: Neither was the monkey.

Catherine: Ok people. Shoes off.
[no reaction]
Catherine: Now?

[after finding traces of semen on Bud Simmons' cat costume]
Catherine: Okay, well, I've heard of some guys getting off in some weird ways, but humping an animal suit? Whatever happened to normal sex?
Gil: What is normal sex?
Catherine: So you think it's natural for a grown human to only be intimate with a talking animal?
Gil: Well, Freud said that the only unusual sexual behavior was to have none at all. And after that, it was only a matter of opportunity and preference. And evidently, some people prefer the feel of fur to the texture of human skin.
Catherine: Well, I like hairy chests, but I'm not about to bop a six-foot weasel.

Catherine: [to Sara] How's the little girl?
Sara: Uh, well, the shrink said she's in a catatonic state as a result of trauma. I could have told you that. Oh, but she did respond to the name "buffalo."
Gil: Respond how?
Sara: She freaked out.
Gil: And, what are doing about that now?
Sara: Going back to the girl. She's out in the car. The windows are cracked. Hey, give me a little credit. She's at the hospital.

Captain: Did you hear the one about the comedian who died onstage, literally?
Catherine: Ba-dum-bum.
Captain: I'll be here all week.

[Grissom notices something in the desert and starts to walk away from a crime scene]
Captain: Where's he going?
Catherine: Let's just hope he stops.

[explaining the job to Holly, the new girl]
Catherine: We restore peace of mind. And when you're a victim, that's everything. Stick with it. At least until you solve your first, and if after that, you don't feel like King Kong on cocaine, then you can quit. But if you stay with it, my hand to God, you will never regret it.

Catherine: It was a job, Ed, and it supported you just like every job I've had, including this one.
Eddie: Yeah, and who paid to close up your nose.
Catherine: You are such a pig.
[fight gets physical until Grissom breaks it up]

Catherine: The only clue is no clue.

David: [as Catherine gives him a cup of her urine to be tested] Oh, thank you, but there's no drinking or eating allowed in the lab.
Catherine: It's a urine sample.
David: My bad.
Catherine: Get it to Tox. And
[gives Hodges the tampon]
Catherine: Check this for spermicide. Call me with the results.
David: [as he looks as the tampon] Did you run out of proper swabs?
Catherine: Just do it.
David: What's the case number?
Catherine: Consider this a proficiency exam.

Nick: Hey, Catherine, say, "Silk, silk, silk."
Catherine: Silk, silk, silk.
Nick: What do cows drink?
Catherine: Water. Why?
Nick: [after a disappointed pause] Never mind...

Catherine: Pig and the piglets are in the pigpen.
Warrick: About time. Finally some good news.
Catherine: Did you know Pig, a.k.a Cole Tritt, was the only adult? The rest were all under 18. One was 14.
Warrick: You're kidding. Who raises these kids?
Catherine: I mean, they weren't all delinquents. Demetrius James was a college student.
Nick: Hangin' out with the wrong crowd in the wrong town. I'm tellin' ya, havin' a fake I.D in Las Vegas is like havin' a - a free ticket on the hell train. Sex, drugs, gambling, no adult supervision, 24/7, by the time they're 21 they've done and seen it all.
Catherine: Make me slit my wrists why don't ya? I'm raising a teenager here.
Warrick: Ah, you're doin' a great job, Linds is gonna turn out to be a beautiful young woman. Besides, I grew up in Vegas, I didn't turn out so bad, did I?
Nick: Yeah. That was pre-Mirage. Back when you were goin' to the casino, playin' the arcade games. Nah, Vegas is a different animal now.
Warrick: Yeah, these kids need to beat people up in the street to be entertained. They need some good discipline, they need their grandmother whuppin' their ass like I had.
Nick: Yeah, a good slap.
Sara: You know, it kinda sounds like you guys are blaming everyone but these kids. I mean, you don't get a bye just because you grew up here or your parents are on drugs or - - those kids were perfectly capable of telling the difference between a wild night out and beating somebody to death.
Gil: The truth is, a moral compass can only point you in the right direction, it can't make you go there. Our culture preaches that you shouldn't be ashamed of anything you do anymore. And unfortunately this city is built on the principle that there's no such thing as guilt. "Do whatever you want, we won't tell." So without a conscience, there's nothing to stop you from killing someone. And evidently you don't even have to feel bad about it.

Warrick: What ever happened, "To cross the tape, go the distance"?
Catherine: [dials number on cell phone] I was probably saying that to get you to service my needs at the time.
Catherine: [Sara answers]
[still half asleep]
Catherine: Hello.
Catherine: Hey Sara you sleepin'?
Sara: [sighs] Yeah.
Catherine: Aww...

Gil: He's wearing a wig... and a fat suit. Is it Halloween?
Catherine: In this town, it's always Halloween.

[At a crime scene]
Catherine: Which of the seven deadly sins aren't represented here?

[about a hit and run case]
Catherine: All we got is some paint that's going to match about twenty million other vehicles.
Warrick: Yeah.
Catherine: Bastard.

Catherine: You know how you're always pushing that holy trinity stuff?
Gil: Father, Son and Holy Ghost?
Catherine: Victim, suspect, crime scene.
Gil: That one, huh?

[Grissom is checking the floor of a crime scene when Catherine walks in]
Catherine: Have you eaten?
Gil: What have you brought?
Catherine: I'll see what's in the fridge
[Moves to kitchen]
Gil: We'll have to replace that!

Catherine: Come on, Sara. This can't wait.
Sara: It can't or you can't?
Catherine: Both
[Sara sighes and gets up]
Catherine: Get a up of coffee on me.
Sara: you know the coffee is free.

Catherine: [to Hodges] Don't tell me you're tired of the field already.
Hodges: No, I had to catch up on my Perez Hilton.
Catherine: I take it you're not going to pull a Sanders, then?
Hodges: Let's see: clean friendly lab, bullet strewn-urine soaked street? That's a tough call.

Gil: [after identifying the kitchen knife used to dismember a chef] "Let us carve him as a dish fit for the gods"
Catherine: I'm going to guess Shakespeare.
Gil: Julius Ceaser.

Greg: That's all I got, so sorry.
Catherine: Greg, never apologize for doing your job.

Catherine: [to Amy] Staff tells me that you've already gone through the SAE kit.
Amy: They tell you I'm all banged up inside?
Catherine: Not in those words.

Catherine: What's up, David? You find something?
David: I was just thinking that I wouldn't be caught dead in those shorts.

Catherine: Well... an old lady wears flats or slippers. I can't imagine that this vic entertained.
Gil: You got to be careful with isolation. It can escalate. Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady living in the rundown house.

Lawyer: You took your clothes off for a living?
Catherine: For a VERY good living.

Catherine: How long have we known each other?
Gil: In weeks, months or years?
Catherine: Can you hear me?

Paul: Look, lady...
Catherine: Catherine.
Paul: Sorry.
Catherine: Don't say "Sorry". Just know who you're talking to.

A.D.A. Jeffrey Sinclair: [to Catherine] How long was the baby left inside the car?
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Based on the time of death, uh, we estimate roughly an hour. The 9-1-1 call came in 11:30 in the morning.
A.D.A. Jeffrey Sinclair: Okay. And what time does Paul Winston start work?
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: According to Captain Brass... . uh, 10:00 a.m.
A.D.A. Jeffrey Sinclair: Hour and a half. Come on. I got a 3-year-old at home and I've left him inside in a covered garage with groceries two minutes tops, but two hours in this heat?
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: I know. It's a tragedy.
A.D.A. Jeffrey Sinclair: You know, cases like these almost never see the inside of a courtroom, but this one will.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Is there any worse punishment than losing your child?
A.D.A. Jeffrey Sinclair: Yeah, jail time. I want him behind bars so the next time a parent steps away from their vehicle in triple degree heat, they check the backseat before they lock the door.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Doesn't change my job.
A.D.A. Jeffrey Sinclair: Look, I need you guys to thoroughly document this case. I don't want any more surprises in court. So, from the car to the kid, just try to cross your T's and dot your I's, okay?

[about a decapitation case]
Catherine: Definitely a crime of passion.
Gil: You think a female did this?
Catherine: I could have.
Gil: Scared of you.

Catherine: [crawling through collapsed building] Am I almost at ground zero?

Gil: Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore.
Catherine: We're up a tree and you're quoting Poe? Give me something else.
Gil: Quoth the Raven, only this and nothing more.

Catherine: [to Gil] Have you been to bed?
Gil: Yes.
Catherine: Did you sleep?
[pauses]
Catherine: Me neither. She was the same age as Lindsey. She was trying to hitchhike.
Gil: Where was she going?
Catherine: Fremont Street.
Gil: Was she buying drugs?
Catherine: No! She's twelve. She's... just so angry. She doesn't talk to me.
Gil: Well, if enough people knew what was out there hunting them, they'd never leave their house. I think you need to sit her down.
Catherine: Well, I don't want to scare her. I don't want my daughter to be this... frightened, paranoid kid who's always looking over her shoulder.
Gil: Catherine, there's a big difference between scaring her and preparing her. And all the reasons why you should are in that room.

Catherine: Hey you.
Warrick: Hey.
Catherine: How... are you holding up?
Warrick: I'm fine.
Catherine: You sure?
Warrick: Yeah.
Catherine: You're in the women's bathroom.
Warrick: [laughs] Oh, God. I'm sorry.
Catherine: [laughs and puts her hands up] Hey. I'm all for it.

[Last lines]
Don: [Crying] Look, I wish I could say that I'm sorry for the trouble I've put you through, or the petty crimes that I've committed, but I didn't hurt anyone. If Martin Sidley is behind bars, and my daughter's getting a funeral, then it's all I wanted.
Catherine: [sighing] I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we couldn't find your daughter without your help.

Cotton: [carefully lays down some hundred-dollar bills that she says will confirm her alibi]
Catherine: And what would you like us to do with those?
Cotton: You're CSI! You can take a print off of there, easy. Duh!

Nick: [to Catherine] Quick. How many teeth in the human mouth?
Catherine: Without wisdoms? 28.
Nick: Yep, and the 28 teeth in Becky's mouth do not match the bite impressions on her husband's body.
Catherine: I guess Ray found himself another set of pearly whites.

Gil: Excuse me. Can you please turn down the house lights and turn on the stage lights?
[stage light comes onto Grissom]
Gil: I want to see what he saw right before he died.
Catherine: What do you see?
Gil: Nothing.
Catherine: What are you looking for?
[beat]
Gil: A punchline?
Captain: Ba-dum-bum.

Catherine: Ready, honey?
Horatio: Coming dear.

Catherine: If there's one thing you learn on this job is that human beings are capable of anything.

Tammy: You're making a mistake. I didn't kill my father. We weren't alone.
CSI Dr. Gil Grissom: I'm sorry, but there's no evidence to indicate that there was a third person present at the crime scene.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Who else was there?
Tammy: I tried to stop her. I swear.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Tammy, who was with you?
Tammy: Melissa Marlowe, but that bitch wouldn't listen.

Catherine: We're mid-case. Why do we have to do this now?
Gil: Well, unless I get these evaluations in, I'll be written up.
Catherine: My goals... all right, for starters, I'd like two consecutive nights off. I would like to cut my triples down to 10 instead of the usual 20, and I would love to find a reliable babysitter so I could have myself some kind of a personal life.
Gil: You don't have a personal life?
Catherine: Write this down: I haven't had sex in six - no, seven months.
Gil: How can I help?
[Her eyes widen]
Gil: You. Advance, I mean.

Catherine: You're right, you know. I should be just like you. Alone in my hermetically sealed condo, watching Discovery on the big screen, working genius-level crossword puzzles. But no relationships, no chance any will slop over into a case. Yeah, right. I want to be just like you.
Gil: Technically it's a townhouse. And the crosswords are advanced, not genius. But you're right, I'm deficient in a lot of ways. But I never screw up one of my cases with personal stuff.
Catherine: Grissom... WHAT personal stuff?

Medic: There is something wrong in the world if all you do is handle test tubes.
Catherine: If you think that's all I handle, you'd be very mistaken.

Captain: Guess who he called yesterday: Lady Heather.
Catherine: Might have threatened her.
Captain: And we both know how she likes to settle her own scores. I'm gonna get a warrant, but it may take me some time because I have to find a judge who isn't a client of hers.

Catherine: Mrs. Abernathy, did your daughter have attention deficit disorder?
Jessica: Sabrina? No. That girl had the focus like you can't believe.
Catherine: Well, we found Ritalin in her system, and as I'm sure you're aware, ritalin is used to treat kids with ADD, but acts as a stimulant in older kids and adults. Teens use it as an upper.
Jessica: So, Sabrina was taking drugs?
Catherine: As were you. Valium.
Jessica: Fair enough. You know, Sabrina used to scream at me, "I can't wait till I'm old enough to move out of here." And I would scream back, "Yeah, me either." What kind of mother says that to her kid?
Catherine: One with a teenage daughter.

C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: [about Tammy Felton] Dr. Kane, this girl was kidnapped at age four. Would she have any recollection of her prior life?
Dr. Philip Kane: The theory of infantile amnesia suggests that we have no cognitive memory before the age of three but since Tammy or Melissa was taken from her biological parents at age four, she may remember something of her former life.
CSI Dr. Gil Grissom: But these memories would be tenuous?
Dr. Philip Kane: A sound or a smell might awaken some latent image or feeling but she'd have difficulty contextualizing these sensations.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: That's got to be frustrating.
Dr. Philip Kane: And it's precisely that frustration which dominates this woman's present state of mind. Kidnapped children at that age tend to exhibit some degree of sociopathy as adults.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Such as?
CSI Dr. Gil Grissom: Inability to feel guilt, compassion or love, right?
Dr. Philip Kane: Correct. But the most defining characteristic is their instinct for survival. There's nothing that they won't do.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Tammy Felton needs help. She may be a suspect, but she's also a victim.

[Three "furs" are taken to the CSI team]
Bud: Hello, this is racial profiling?
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Huh, we're gonna need samples of your... fur.
C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: We'll also need to talk to you without your masks on.
[Two furs take their mask of]
Bud: I don't.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: You have a problem with that?
Bud: You wouldn't ask a human lady to take her make-up off. If you want to talk to me, this is the "me" you're gonna talk to.

Catherine: So just how did the meeting with the undersheriff go?
Conrad: Worse than the dentist. Better than the proctologist.

[investigators can't explain why a victim was home]
Catherine: Hey, if you can explain the behavior of teenagers, more power to you.

Catherine: [to Nick] What's going on with you?
Nick: I'm on a case.
Catherine: We're on a case.
Nick: Right.

Catherine: Is there anything in there with alcohol?
Sara: Root beer?

Gil: I need to see their shoes.
Catherine: Why are you asking me?
Gil: Cause you're the people person, right?
Catherine: Why don't you tell them that? They're not giving me bubkas.

Catherine: [to Nick] You're confronting suspects before the evidence is processed, you're flying solo, cutting me out. What's going on?
Nick: Okay. There are some people you're supposed to be able to trust, you know? I was nine and she was a last-minute baby-sitter.
[Catherine looks stunned]
Nick: All I can remember doing afterwards is sitting in my room in the dark, staring at the door waiting for my mom to get home, but I've never told anyone before.
Catherine: I'm sorry.
Nick: It's what makes a person, I guess. I'm sorry, Catherine.
[walks away]

Catherine: So, any luck with the blood and hair samples I gave you?
Greg: Don't insult me. Luck is only for those without skill.
Catherine: Spoken like a man who's never hit the jackpot.
Greg: Sad, but true.

[Gil and Catherine have entered a compound and discovered a mass suicide. While checking the room, they hear a noise behind them]
Catherine: Who's there? Las Vegas Crime Lab! Identify yourself!
Police: Don't shoot! LVPD. Captain Brass raided us, said you might be in need of assistance.
C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: Well unfortunately we're not the ones who need help here.

Catherine: [arriving at a crime scene where the body is propped up in an upright position] She forget to fall down?

[picking Cath up for dinner]
Chris: So, what are you in the mood for?
Catherine: Room service.

Nick: Hey Catherine.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Yeah?
Nick: You may want to take a look at this. Urine in a bedpan... and in a glass.
[while visualizing the victim drinking her own urine, Catherine is appalled]
Nick: She liked it fresh.

Catherine: Okay... we're in a David Lynch movie. Where's the dwarf?

Catherine: So you went to sleep and woke up next to a dead body?

Sara: [to Catherine] What the hell are you doing? Do you know where you're at right now?
Catherine: I've been here a lot longer than you...
Sara: And you should know better.
Catherine: And I wouldn't have to be here if you were doing your job properly.
Sara: There is a difference between me doing my job and you wanting to do it for me. You don't want to get the job done. What you want right now, is revenge.
Catherine: You're going to tell me what I want, huh?
Sara: Go home, Catherine. Be with your daughter. She's the one that needs you.
[walks away]

Catherine: So what were you in high school, Nick?
Nick: Me? I was... dependable.
Catherine: Dependable?
Warrick: He's trying to say he was unpopular.

Greg: I would never doubt your word.
Catherine: Smart man.

Catherine: You were with her all night, can you explain why? I know you don't go home and cuddle your insects every single night, but why would you go there knowing we're in the middle of an investigation? And now she's a prime suspect with you as her alibi.
Gil: It was a social call. That's all.
Catherine: So, when your personal life gets tangled up in a case, that's off limits?
Gil: Yes.
Catherine: Isn't that a little hypocritical?
Gil: Apparently so.
Catherine: You know, I'd slap you but I think you'd enjoy it too much.

Catherine: Hey Greg. you up for a bite?
[Greg laughs maniacally]
Greg: [soberly] No. I am on antibiotics, I had a tetanus shot. I'm having a pretty bad year.
Catherine: Oh it's only a bad year if you do a bad job Greg. You're having a great year.
[she winks at him, Greg rolls his eyes]

Catherine: [to Grissom] Who are you today? Moses?

[Raymond Langston is moving towards a toilet stall]
Catherine: Ray I know you're not doing what it looks like you're doing so... what are you doing?
Raymond: This man lost more than an arm. The stoner outside said a big red hulk did this. Maybe he was right.

Catherine: [to Max, stuck up to his waist in concrete] So, how's your day going?
Max: Lady, the best day I've ever had is worse than the worst day you've ever imagined.

Catherine: You crack this kid's head open, all that would come out would be T and A.
Greg: I think you said that about me once.
Catherine: Actually, more than once.

[Gil and Catherine are investigating the bedroom of a stockbroker who was killed playing hockey]
Catherine: It's never a good sign when a guy has more women than chairs.
Gil: What's the ratio here?
Catherine: Judging from these stains, I'd say four women for every piece of furniture including the TV. At least we know what this guy was about - bucks, pucks and... chicks.

[Grissom was licking rocks to see if they're bones]
Gil: Could be a piece of wrist bone.
Catherine: Well, do you want to suck on it? To be sure?

Jim: [to Catherine] Have you ever seen anything like this before?
Catherine: How it manifested? No. But the cause? People throw things away every day.

Nick: It's our job to know how. You heard Grissom: the more 'how' the less 'why'. The less the 'how' the more the 'why'.
Catherine: Hey, Nick. Grissom's not always right. Do yourself a favor ; think for yourself. I mean that as a friend, okay?

Nick: [about Marlon West] He confessed. It was later thrown out on a technicality. We really didn't need it. The prosecution's case against Marlon was very strong.
Sara: Until Marlon's little sister Hannah got on the stand and confessed to the murder herself.
Catherine: Oh, yes, I remember this case. A high school senior at age 12.
Nick: She's a pint-size Machiavelli. She manipulated events, fabricated evidence, and in the end...
Sara: She claimed that she did it because she loved Marlon. Some warped sense of justice... She graduated later that summer, became legally emancipated from her parents and went off to Harvard, pre-med.
Gil: You keeping tabs on her?
Sara: Not recently. Look, accident or no accident, Marlon killed before. Hannah sunk this case, Marlon got a free pass, and now he's killed again.
Catherine: Well, we don't know that just yet. I mean, we don't have Marlon's DNA to compare with the semen that was found in the victim. All the old evidence was expunged with the verdict.
Sara: I want this case.
Gil: The one that got away?
Sara: We're not supposed to let them get away, right?

Nick: Well, Rick Chilson did call Sabrina a bitch when we were talking.
Catherine: Charming.
Nick: Yeah, he's an ass, but his alibi checks out. Surveillance at the Mirage has him playing poker the night of the fire.
Catherine: What about Cody?
Nick: He was right there with him, but I don't think that kid takes a breath without Daddy's nod of approval.

Catherine: Did you ever play politics?
Gil: I once ran for president of the science club in junior high. Mary Hardy beat me out by one vote.
Catherine: I'm going to guess that you didn't vote for yourself.
Gil: I'm not any good at politics. And it's cost me. It's how I lost Nick and Warrick.
Catherine: Your loss was my gain.
Gil: Yeah. And at least they're in good hands.

Catherine: You know, every time we get a case with a hint of domestic violence or abuse, you go off the deep end. What is your problem?
Sara: Yeah, I probably do, and you let your sexuality cloud your judgment about men, and I'm gonna go over your head.

C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Gordon Daimler. That's the limo driver.
Horatio: That's him. And the reason that old Gordon probably didn't smell when we picked him up is because he'd just taken his insulin, hadn't he?
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: But the scent was still in the limo's AC system.
Horatio: Mm-hmm.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Well, now we have this guy's address.
Horatio: Yes, take a look at this address. A limousine driver with a house on the water in Coconut Grove? I don't think so.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Who's the owner of record?
Horatio: Let's check it.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: [seeing the search result] Sissy and Dylan Corwin. That's the couple that he was picking up at the airport when we pulled him over.
Horatio: That's right.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: So then maybe that's how he finds his victims, driving a limo.
Horatio: And when they're away at some posh resort, he moves into their house, doesn't he?
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Hops over to Las Vegas. Visits the couple he met in Miami. Kills the husband...
Horatio: Mm-hmm.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Brings the wife back here, kills her.
Horatio: And when the Corwins come home... not good.

Al: Whoo hoo, the guy was a walking buffet
Catherine: Multiple contusions, he's got a pad of dead tissue on his wrist, no fingernails
Al: Cuticles are inflamed but still intact. They weren't pulled off they were bitten down. I first thought of tortured and forced fed but the usual signs of forced feeding are absent. No abrasion on the surface of the lips, no aspirated food in the airways
Catherine: So what are you thinking now?
Al: He ate himself to death

Catherine: Never doubt. Never look back. That's how I live my life.
Gil: I admire that.

C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: [to Grissom after Mrs. Marlowe meets her daughter] What were you thinking?
CSI Dr. Gil Grissom: [sighs] I don't know. I wanted to observe them, I guess.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: That woman hasn't seen her daughter in 21 years. You actually thought a glass wall would keep them apart?
CSI Dr. Gil Grissom: I never thought about that.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: I know. You're not good with people.
CSI Dr. Gil Grissom: Yeah.

Catherine: No organ damage, no disease, no trauma... This is a perfectly healthy young woman.
Nick: Yeah, 'til she dropped dead. Without dropping.

C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Hey Jim! We got a call, a possible 4-19? Is there a dead body or not?
Captain: That arm crash-landed on the windshield of a car. According to the driver, it showed up from under the bus. Generally speaking, when there's an arm, there's a body.

Catherine: So that means he died with a smile on his face.
Dr. Al Robbins: Among other things.
[both laugh]

Cha: Man, everyone loves a good fannysmackin' session.
Catherine: A what?
Cha: Beating up fannypackers. You know, tourists.
Catherine: Why would you want to do that?
Cha: [shrugs] Nothing else to do.

Ray: Look, I loved my wife, but, a year into our marriage, she told me that she wasn't into sex anymore. And, uh, she went frigid on me. Asked me to move into the other bedroom.
Catherine: And you were okay with that?
Ray: Well, I kept hoping things would get better and we had fun and we respected each other. And she was a great mom to Susan.
Catherine: I'm still confused about the bite marks.
Ray: I found a way to make our relationship work.
Catherine: You found yourself a vampire?

Catherine: [to Lindsey] Mouthing off to teachers, slipping grades, and now hitchhiking. I mean what's next, Lindsey?
Lindsey: Stripping.
Catherine: What did you just say? Okay, no phone, no friends, no nothing.
Lindsey: For how long?
Catherine: A month.
Lindsey: Whatever.
Catherine: Hey, you want to make it two?
Lindsey: Dad always said you were a drama queen.
Catherine: Well, what do you expect, Lindsey, since he was always high.
Lindsey: I'd take Dad high over you any day! Nana's coming to pick me up. I'll be out front.

Hard: All you have is a guy's face. How will you figure out who he is?
Catherine: Good question.

Dr. Leigh Sapien: Look, I don't know the basis of your allegations, but I have never crossed the line with a patient.
Nick: That's not what your rap sheet says.
Dr. Leigh Sapien: Rap sheet?
Catherine: Sex with an underage patient.
Dr. Leigh Sapien: I was a resident. He was 17. We were in... look, no criminal charges were filed. It should have been expunged from my record.
Catherine: It doesn't make you any less guilty.
Dr. Leigh Sapien: Lady, I'm not a saint, but I am not a killer or a child molester.

Catherine: Your father ever tell you you were pretty?
Sara: I guess.
Catherine: Did he ever tell you you were smart?
Sara: Yeah.
Catherine: So it probably never occurred to you that you wouldn't be successful. If all you ever hear is that you're gorgeous, you can let everything fall away and leave you in a very dangerous place.

Catherine: So, if he was hooking it up in Tranny Town, we'd expect to find some man-on-man porn. All we've got here is varying sizes of jugs.

Director: Excuse me, hi, can you identify yourself for the camera, please? Just look right in the lens.
Gil: What is this?
Director: It's a reality crime show. We're following you for this investigation. Sheriff promised full cooperation.
Catherine: We got that memo. They're "Hard Crime".
Director: That's us; we put the folks who look in the microscopes under the microscopes.
Catherine: Right. You see, it's good P.R. for the department. Try not to bust their chops, okay?
Director: You ever see the show? It's got a lot of forensics.
Gil: There's too many forensics shows on TV.

Sara: How much do you think a night like this would cost?
Catherine: Heather told me, five years ago she was clearing twenty grand a week. And that was before Lady Heather dot com.
Sara: [after a moment] What is she like?
Catherine: Beautiful, smart, intense... charming. The only woman I've ever seen rattle Grissom.
[Sara stops processing and looks up]

Horatio: It's honey.
Catherine: You say that like it means something.
Horatio: Well, honey on its own is just honey. But add platic wrap and... it's a different situation.

[after a huge argument]
Gil: Look, could we have a truce?
Catherine: I would love to.

Catherine: I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say they're hiding something.

Catherine: Hey, you.
Warrick: Hey.
Catherine: How uh... are you holding up?
Warrick: I'm fine.
Catherine: You sure?
Warrick: Yeah.
Catherine: ...you're in the women's bathroom.

Warrick: This is a big case, I'm in a groove here.
Catherine: Well, groove on down to the strip.

C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: [to Dr. Robbins] Hey, Doc, you have a comb?
[Dr. Robbins and Nick look at her]
Nick: Your hair looks great, Cath.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Gee, thanks, Nick.

Gil: [discussing Catherine's goals when trying to finish her evaluation] You don't have a personal life?
Catherine: Write this down. I haven't had sex in 6 - no, 7 months!
Gil: How can I help?
[Catherine looks shocked]
Gil: You. Advance, I mean.

Gil: Okay, if there were any other suspect, what would be our conclusion?
[everyone is silent for a long moment]
Greg: That he did it.
Gil: Which is what Warrick told Internal Affairs.
Catherine: He confessed?
Gil: No, but he didn't deny it. He says that he can't remember.
Greg: Yeah, we've all heard that one before.
Nick: What's that supposed to mean?
Greg: It's not supposed to mean anything. We're just talking.
Nick: Well, we can't just sit here and watch him go down.
Catherine: We're not going to. He asked for a lawyer, and we're going to get him a shark.
Greg: The only thing that a jury is gonna see is a rogue cop with a vendetta. I've been there before. They're gonna crucify him.

Calleigh: You got a theory on how the mother and daughter ended up all the way in Miami from Las Vegas?
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Well, we don't actually work theories. Do we, Warrick?
Warrick: No, just evidence.
Calleigh: We're much more fanciful down here. Aren't we, Horatio?
Horatio: I think that's a fair description.
Calleigh: My guess is this belongs to a Taurus 9, made in Brazil. It's a cheap Beretta knockoff, and you may not see many of them in Vegas, but we get 'em down here all the time. Which makes me think this guy wasn't fleeing Las Vegas.
Horatio: He was coming home to Miami.

Catherine: [Nick is suspected of murdering Kristy] I think we'd better head over to the police station.
Nick: DNA didn't pan out huh?
Catherine: Never have I seen such a clean match. Jack Willman killed her.
Nick: Thank you.
Catherine: Hey, I'm just doing my job. Besides if they'd sent you to jail I'd get stuck with all your cases.

[Grissom and Catherine are looking at a science project class volcano]
Catherine: In fifth grade I built one of these as my science fair project, it was awesome. First place should have been mine, but they ended up giving it to this kid with some lame red ant colony.
[Catherine looks at Grissom who is smiling]
Catherine: That was you!
Gil: Yeah, only my ants were black Argentineans.
Catherine: Uh-huh...
Gil: I learned at a very early age that the bugs always win.
Catherine: Right...

[a corpse found on the roadside turns out to be a LAPD SES officer]
Catherine: So much for the race.
Gil: At least we didn't come last.

Catherine: [to Leo Finley] What are you doing here?
Leo: I was waiting for you.
Catherine: How did you get in here?
Leo: Can't we talk about something interesting? Me for instance. I'm interesting.
Catherine: Yeah, let's do that. Let's talk about you.
Leo: For starters, Norah left me. Actually, she threw my stuff out onto the street, got a restraining order on me, notified the neighbors and called my boss. "Hey, Scumbag. Don't bother coming in, we'll mail you your last check." So in one fell swoop, as it were, I lost my girlfriend, my livelihood and my place to live. I thought it was going to be different this time. Frankly, I blame you.
Catherine: I didn't create the circumstances of your life, Leo.
Leo: You grind up the innocent with the guilty.
Catherine: Just take it easy. I was just doing my job.
Leo: [mockingly] I was just doing my job.
Catherine: Yeah, I was just doing my job.
Leo: I was just doing my job. I was just following orders. Blonde Nazi bitch! You get in there with your big boots and you kick it all apart and you don't care who you hurt. Whose life you destroy in the process.
Catherine: Calm down.
Leo: No! It's not fair.
Catherine: Calm down!
Leo: Don't tell me to calm down!
Catherine: [draws her gun] Just stay back and calm down!
Leo: You going to shoot me? Would that help you figure out how completely you screwed my life up? Would you sleep better at night? Maybe I should just save you the trouble and blow my own brains out. What do you think?
Catherine: I think you need to talk to somebody.
Leo: I am talking to somebody. I'm talking to you. So how about this, if I do decide to kill myself, I'm going to come over to your house and blow my brains out right on your front lawn. As a gift to you and everything you stand for. How does that work for you?
[turns and walks away]

Gil: Brass always suspected that there was a mole in the department that worked for Gedda. I bet we're looking for a cop.
Catherine: A P.I. investigating Gedda gets killed, then Gedda gets killed. Maybe this dirty cop did 'em both.
Gil: Yeah, but we can't prove it because we're not allowed to investigate Gedda's murder.
Catherine: We're still investigating the P.I. if the cases are linked, we solve one, we solve the other.

Gil: It's interesting to me how you always expect the worst.
Catherine: You see, that way I'm never disappointed. And sometimes I'm nicely surprised.

[Dr. Robbins uses home pregnancy tests instead of buying from the lab's expensive supplier]
Catherine: Eye on the bottom line. I find that...
Dr. Al Robbins: Sexy?
Catherine: Prudent. That was a good try, though.
Dr. Al Robbins: Plus sign. You know what that means.
Catherine: Who's yo daddy?

Catherine: The thing that makes a fantasy great is the possibility it might come true. And when you lose that possibility it just... kinda... sucks.

Warrick: [showing a Rorschach-like blood stain] What does this look like to you?
Gil: Hermaphrodite on roller skates.
Catherine: A puppy.
[Grissom and Catherine look at each other quizzically]

David: Let me ask you something: How do you know when it's gone from just friends to more than?
Catherine: Well, if you have to ask - it's just friends.
David: She's making dinner for me this weekend.
Catherine: Are you the only guest?
David: Do her roommates count?
[Catherine looks at him significantly]

C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: [to Gwen] Now I know why you didn't want to hold Robbie when your husband handed him to you outside the police department. I'm very sorry.
Gwen: [sniffles] I always, uh... I always tell them, "gentle, gentle."
[Catherine nods her head]
Gwen: He didn't mean it. I know he didn't mean it.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: [shakes her head] Of course he didn't.
Gwen: You must think that we are awful people, all this stuff that's come out.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: You're an average family burdened with a tragedy that put you under a microscope. That close, nobody can look good.

Augie: I recorded their house for the virtual tour. That's what I do to sell houses.
Jim: Selling house as a front for porno a little blackmail on the side.
Augie: What are you talking about? I have done nothing wrong.
Catherine: Oh, you're innocent in all this?
Augie: I admit to having lust in my heart.
Jim: Lust doesn't live in your heart.

Catherine: [to Carla Dantini] So this is everything that you wore at the carnival last night?
Carla: Yes.
Catherine: [picks up Carla's watch] Your watch is waterlogged.
Carla: Yes. I went into the water after my daughter.
Sara: So, you jumped in the water.
Carla: Yes.
Catherine: How come your shoes are dry?
Carla: Well... it was yesterday. Of course they're dry.
Catherine: The lining's blue. If they'd gotten wet, the indigo dye would have bled onto your white socks.
Sara: You never went in the water.
Catherine: If you didn't go into the water, how did your watch get wet?
Carla: [sounding nervous] Like I told her, reaching for my daughter.
Catherine: You reached for her all right. To hold her under.

Catherine: [slaps human-sized ballistics-gel dummy made by Warrick and Nick to test a theory] Do you know how much ballistic gel costs?
Warrick: Didn't know you did.

Nick: I was sweating bullets looking at those photos.
Catherine: Did the judge exclude the dice?
Nick: No. No, just my credibility.

Catherine: Theaters are like nightclubs. They should always keep the lights off.
Gil: This is the last art house left in Vegas. I saw Baraka here, on a double bill with Koyaanisquatsi.
Catherine: Was there anyone else here?
Gil: Sure.
Catherine: With you?
Gil: No.

Catherine: [while examining the evidence] The belt wasn't loose enough to yank the girl out. Forget Pickens.
Sara: The only person who could have done it, then is the person that was in the car with her. The mother.
Catherine: Her eyes were pointing in the wrong direction.
Sara: [shakes her head] I'm sorry. What?
Catherine: Carla Dantini was looking left when she told me about the accident. When a person is remembering, they look right and when they're creating, they look left.
Sara: And by creating, you mean fabricating. Neurolinguistics programming. Human behavioral science.
Catherine: Call Brass and tell him to meet us at the mother's house.

Catherine: Hey, I got the DNA results. The boy is Adam Esposito. Victor and Valerie are his parents.
Warrick: There you go. She's lying. She doesn't have a son.
Catherine: Uh, not quite. She's got 13 alleles in common with the male DNA that we got from the toothbrush exemplar.
Gil: So she does have a son.
Catherine: I was inside the house. Believe me, a kid does live there.
Gil: And we're still looking for Jesse Matthews.

Catherine: Now tell me why you really stopped by. You checking up on me?
Gil: No.
Catherine: What've you heard? Who talked to you?
Gil: See? You've been on the job for a week and you're already paranoid.

Catherine: What'd I miss?
Gil: Murder, seduction, deceit. The usual.
Catherine: Mmm. This one of your favorites?
Gil: Actually, I'm not a big fan of noir.
Catherine: Okay... Well, what do you like?
Gil: I like silent movies.
[Catherine looks at him, then she looks at the screen when Gil looks at her for a second and turns back to the screen again]

Catherine: We're going to need urine samples so we can test for nicotine in your systems.
Jessica: My house is burned down. My daughter is dead. And you want me to pee into a cup. Sure. Why not?

[to Grissom upon seeing a bug]
Catherine: Hey, look at that. Your six-legged soul mate.

Catherine: I always liked the circus.
Gil: Yeah, it's fun trying to figure out the magic tricks.
Catherine: Well, that's taking the fun out of it.

Catherine: So, I've checked every plumbing fixture in this place. There's no blood.
Sara: Grissom said he found blood under Movie Boy's nailbeds.
Catherine: And that sheet looks like a butcher's apron. Movie Boy had to wash his hands someplace.

Catherine: Do you have somewhere you need to be?
Employee: I have to change my pants.

[Grissom doesn't answer his phone]
Catherine: Who do you keep avoiding?
Gil: Ecklie.
Catherine: Ah, that means you should answer it.
Gil: No, he just wants to yell at me because I'm late with the personnel evaluations. It can wait.

Catherine: [to Ray Lester] You knew.
Ray: What?
Catherine: Your daughter killed your wife and you knew it.
Ray: I don't know what you're talking about.
Catherine: Susan attacked Becky as soon as she went into the house, but you admitted to having another drink. You would've heard the attack.
Ray: I'm sorry, but that's what happ...
Catherine: You went into the house and found Susan wiping blood off of her hands. You sent her back to her grandfather's. You came up with a story to tell the cops, and then called 911. You were protecting your daughter and now she's protecting you.
Ray: You can't prove it.
Catherine: Well, either way, you have to live with it.

Catherine: Only difference between kitsch and beautiful is time.

Catherine: The sheriff said they were chasing another car. A...
Gil: Lemme guess, a Buick?
Catherine: I hate it when you do that.

Sara: Do you have any physical evidence that would conclusively rule Hannah out as a suspect?
Nick: Well... yeah. She's four-foot three and sixty-five pounds. The crime just required more strength than she's got.
Catherine: How old is she?
Nick: 12.
Warrick: In high school?
Nick: She's a high school senior. She skipped six grades. She's a prodigy.
Sara: Which means that she has the brains for murder.

Sara: We were just talking about murder and whether we would commit it. I couldn't, Warrick could and Nick's on the fence. We're taking an exit poll.
Nick: Catherine, you're a mother. You and Lindsey are on that plane. How far do you go?
Catherine: All the way.
Sara: [surprised] You didn't even hesitate.
Catherine: That's right. If it involves the protection of my child I fight to the death.
Warrick: See? We have four people here, all with different opinions. Think of how the passengers must have felt.
Sara: What do you think, Grissom?
Gil: I can't answer that question.
Catherine: That's a cop-out. It's a simple question. What would you have done if you had been one of those passengers?
Gil: It's not about that. You all have different opinions but you've taken the same point of view. You've put yourself in the shoes of the passengers, but nobody's put themselves in the shoes of the victim. That's the point.
Sara: I'm sorry. What are you saying?
Gil: Nobody stopped to ask Candlewell if he was all right. They just assumed, because he was kicking the back of Nate's seat, that he was a jerk - because he was pushing his call button that he was bothering the Flight Attendant - because he was trying to get into the lavatory he was making a scene - because he was going back and forth up and down the aisles, he was posing a threat.
Catherine: He was a threat.
Gil: No. He turned into a threat. It didn't have to be that way. People make assumptions. That's the problem. You just did. And I think these passengers made the wrong assumption and now this guy's dead.
Warrick: Well, if that's your stance how could it have been prevented?
Gil: If just one person had stopped and taken the time to look at the guy, to listen to him, to figure out what was wrong with him it might not have happened. It took five people to kill him. It would've only taken one person to save his life.

Catherine: [Grissom and Catherine are putting a skeleton together] That is correct... according to *this* book.

Gil: Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body?
Catherine: Yes professor. I too took osteology.

Catherine: More flies with honey.

Catherine: The only thing that sports book means to me is guys without showers.
Warrick: [laughs] That's actually true.

Catherine: I just realized that you and I have a very healthy relationship.
Gil: We do?
Catherine: When we have a problem, I don't paint Greg in latex and stick a straw up his nose.
Gil: Good. He'd probably like it.
Catherine: You're supposed to say something revealing back to me.
Gil: Okay. I never told anyone this, Catherine.
[screen fades to black]

Detective: Security guard. No party list, but he did see each car that left the night of the party and morning.
Security: Chief Rittle left around 5:00 a.m. Uh... 5:14, to be exact.
C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: You saw Chief Rittle leave?
Security: Yeah. He was with his wife and kid, and he had his baseball cap and sunglasses on like he always does.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: So you saw a baseball cap and sunglasses. Did you actually see the Chief's face?
Security: Well... actually, I didn't.

Catherine: Thousands of girls come to Vegas every year, just hoping to beat the odds.
Gil: Some of them do.
Catherine: And some of them don't.

[Catherine and Sara have just seized a carnival as evidence and Sara is grinning madly]
Catherine: [Annoyed] What?
Sara: Well, this is fun.
Catherine: As opposed to...?
Sara: A more scientific approach.

Gil: We told them what happened.
Catherine: Yeah. But we didn't give them what they needed - closure.
Gil: Truth brings closure.
Catherine: Not always.

Catherine: Oh, you've been out of the game a while. The homies they have in the pen these days, never heard of you.
Mickey: That's impossible.
Catherine: No Mickey, that's life.
[winks]

Sara: [to Catherine about Nora Easton] She's a virgin? What are we talking about, an immaculate conception?
Catherine: More like the immaculate perception.

[upon finding an insect on the victim's clothes]
Gil: It's a carpet beetle. It shouldn't be here.
Catherine: The vic seem more like a hardwood floors kind of guy to you?
Gil: Carpet beetles are usually the last to arrive at a corpse, when only found on a body when its near becoming being a skeleton. This guy is still fresh.
[looks up at skeleton hanging from tree, sees other insects on it]
Gil: David! Get this body out of here right now! We've got cross-contamination!

[One-liner before credits]
C.S.I. Swing Shift Supervisor Catherine Willows: I don't know if she was buried alive, but she wasn't buried alone.

Catherine: [to Warrick] How 'ya holdin' up?
Warrick: That depends. Do you think I did it?
Catherine: I can't discuss the case.
Warrick: Yeah. I dunno, I think I'd just feel a lot better if I had a change of clothes. I hate being dressed like a convict.
Catherine: I'll take care of it.
[takes Warrick's hand]
Catherine: Stay strong.

Catherine: You've gotta give me some guys.
Gil: Sara's all you get.
Catherine: All I need.

Catherine: A grown man, sticks his hand up the back of a doll, and speaks like a girl. Sounds healthy.

Gil: Women don't shoot themselves in the head, do they, Catherine?
Catherine: Well, gunshots do a number of your face, so typically, women prefer pills.

Gil: Tom Haviland's attorneys are not waiving time.
Nick: Are you serious?
Sara: They're actually exercising their right to a speedy trial?
Gil: No requests for continuances, no stall tactics. They're pushing for their day in court.
Warrick: Good defense attorney always does the last thing you expect.
Catherine: Yeah. What typically drags on for months has now been put on the fast track and the prelim is less than 72 hours.
Greg: I'm only done processing half the evidence.
Catherine: You're going to have to call in help, because if the judge thinks that our evidence isn't strong enough to go to trial, he's going to dismiss the charges on Tom.
Sara: Can't the D.A. drop the charges and we'll refile when we get our evidence together?
Catherine: Sure, but the odds are that Tom will relocate to Europe and pull a Polanski.
Greg: And what's a Polanski?
Gil: Get-out-of-jail-free card. One more thing: Westcott just added a forensic scientist to their roster. She wants him to examine every piece of evidence we have against Haviland.
Nick: As soon as it's processed they'll get a copy of our report.
Gil: They're entitled to see it as it's processed.
Nick: I've never done a case where the defendant took advantage of that rule of discovery.
Gil: Well, when you can't attack the evidence itself, you attack the method of gathering the evidence.
Sara: So who's their guy?
Gil: Dr. Phillip Gerard.
Sara: Phillip Gerard? Your mentor is their forensic scientist?
Gil: Yeah. Marjorie Westcott's a smart lawyer.

Catherine: [looking at a surveillance video of a teenage boy in an elevator] You crack this kid's head open, all that would come out would be T&A.
Greg: I think you said that about me once.
Catherine: Actually, more than once.

Catherine: [to Sara] So you're calling it?
Sara: I got two liars and no murder weapon... and no choice. I'm going to nail the singer on child endangerment and fleeing the scene and the dealer goes up on possession for sale.
Catherine: What a great bedtime story for my little girl.
Sara: Cath, I did my best.

Catherine: We've got a BOLO out on Dana Espinoza in connection with the apartment homicides. She's considered armed, dangerous and pregnant.
Warrick: Ooh. Raging hormones and a gun. We got to get that off the street fast.

Jim: So the guy in took an arrow through the throat and it prolonged his life?
Dr. Al Robbins: Apparently.
Catherine: And what are the odds of it not hitting any major artery?
Dr. Al Robbins: Whatever comes right before zero.

Catherine: What are the odds, right?
Dr. Raymond Langston: Before it happened I would've said slim. But since it did happen - a hundred percent.
Catherine: Seems like a lot of things keep falling out of the sky, right? Poison, people, turtles.
Dr. Raymond Langston: Tortoises.
Catherine: Whatever. Maybe I should start wearing a helmet.
Dr. Raymond Langston: Or at least carrying an umbrella.

C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: You know what always happens to bad people? They leave behind a part of themselves, and that's how you can help us find your mommy. Now, I need to look underneath your fingernails.
[Sasha withdraws her hand]
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: You wanna show me what's in your hand?
Horatio: [reassuring] It's okay.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: [Sasha opens her hand to reveal a bullet casing] Where did you get that?
[brief flashback sequence]
Sasha: I ran out after they drove off. I picked that up.
Horatio: I bet it felt cold when you picked it up.
Sasha: No. No, hot. You're tricking me.
Horatio: You're too smart for that.

David: You remember your geology.
Catherine: Yes! Actually, senior year I took "rocks for jocks", I dated the TA.
Warrick: Lucky guy. I'm sure you got an "A".
Catherine: As a matter of fact, I did.
David: [to Warrick] You're married? Don't flirt.

Catherine: Tequila will always remind me of Señor Frog's.
LVPD Capt. Jim Brass: Which one?
Catherine: Cancun. My honeymoon. My dime.
LVPD Capt. Jim Brass: Well, if you ever want to go back, it's on me.
Catherine: Is that a proposal?

Catherine: I got blood.
Warrick: I got a noisemaker.

Gil: So. How's the thing Catherine passed off to you going?
Warrick: What thing?
Gil: The thing with Eddie Willows?
Warrick: Er, good.
Gil: You called the DMV yet?
Warrick: I was just about to.
Gil: Hmm. Warrick, why would you call the DMV on a rape charge?
Warrick: [looks at Catherine] If you want me to suave anybody, I gotta know the shot.
Catherine: I'm sorry. I didn't pass it off.
Gil: Really?

Nick: You know what a good defence lawyer's gonna say about all this?
Catherine: What?
Nick: The lawn chair did it.

Karen: We went to the park. I... I brought Jesse's new jacket. He was on the swings and when I wasn't looking, a man in a blue cap took him.
Catherine: Karen, tell me what happened four years ago after your husband was killed.
Karen: I... I... that's a... I am not the one that should be here. You should be talking to the man that took Jesse.
Catherine: Did Jesse get sick? Was there an accident?
[Karen doesn't answer and stares at Catherine]
Catherine: Karen? Did something happen to Jesse? Is Jesse dead?
Karen: You saw him. You were... you were there while I held him in my arms. Why are you putting me through this? Tell me. Why?

Captain: Welcome to the party.
Catherine: [to Grissom & Ecklie] What's going on? This is my scene.
Conrad: High profile case - woke up the supervisors. All hands on deck, Cath. Grissom's lead on this, he's the senior supervisor... I'm an administrator, I run interference for you guys. Starting with the press.
Gil: It's nothing personal, Catherine. Cases like these rain down hard, you need all the help you can get.
Catherine: I need help. Not supervision.

C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Nice digs.
Captain: Yeah, guy got rich off some dot-com outfit. Moved here from Oregon two years ago.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Bet they wished they hadn't today.

C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: [about the victim] Somebody wanted her dead.
C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: They also wanted her ugly.

David: It's hard to believe that anybody could do something like this to such a beautiful little girl.
Catherine: So, if she had been plain or homely, it'd be easy for you to accept?
David: No, but, maybe it's just me, when something like this happens to a kid with a face like that, it just seems a little more tragic.
Catherine: Maybe that will work in our favor.
[Catherine walks away]
David: [to Grissom] Did I just piss her off?
Gil: Yeah, but she was heading that way when she came in.

Gil: Most mammals only copulate seasonally.
Catherine: How boring.

C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: [to Grissom] Hey, come on. We're going to be late for the prelim.
CSI Dr. Gil Grissom: Tammy Felton's prelim has been postponed indefinitely.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: What, why?
CSI Dr. Gil Grissom: She left town. Skipped bail.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: How much did the parents lose?
CSI Dr. Gil Grissom: Their house and their life savings.
[Catherine sighs]
CSI Dr. Gil Grissom: It's over. Case closed. We move on.
[takes off his glasses]
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Right.
[turns and walks out of Grissom's office]

Catherine: And Tadd Sidley's ID? Did you place his gym card in the body?
Don: You're a mother right?
Catherine: Yes.
Don: Why do you think I did it?
[after a pause]
Catherine: You wanted Martin Sidley to know what it's like to lose a child.

[Cath is a former stripper]
Greg: So, the French Palace, huh?
Catherine: Yup.
Greg: You know, my friends and I used to go there. Payday Fridays.
Catherine: Uh-huh.
Greg: Maybe I saw you perform.
Catherine: Oh, I doubt it.
Greg: Why?
Catherine: You would've remembered.

Catherine: One of my guys is in trouble: He's been kidnapped. I need a million dollars in cash. Large bills. And I need it now.
Sam: Let me guess: The department won't pay the ransom.
Catherine: No.
Sam: Why should I?
Catherine: Considering the problems that you've had with the law, you could use some good publicity.
Sam: Do I look like a man that needs publicity? If you're coming to me like a cop with a tin cup in your hand, the answer is no.
Catherine: I'm not here as a cop.
Sam: Then ask me like you were my daughter.

Calleigh: Hi. Calleigh Duquesne. Don't ask how I spell it. Southern.
Catherine: Catherine Willows. Southern... Vegas.

Catherine: Grissom... they're beating our heads in. Judge is going to dismiss... you can feel it.
Gil: Don't get ahead of yourself.
Catherine: I'm not ahead of myself. I'm up there front and center taking hits along with the rest of CSI. You know, you've turned into a really lousy leader. I need your help, and you're on the sidelines.

Nick: You really think Erin knew she was pregnant? I mean, six weeks?
Catherine: Twenty-year-old girl, living at home? She would have taken a test if she was five seconds late - panic city.
Nick: Yeah. Brass talked to her parents. There was no guy in her life.
Catherine: Well, it's not immaculate conception. If the guy was Mr. Right she would have told her folks. Which means he was Mr. Wrong. Maybe Mr. Married.

Catherine: [Referring to a burned spot on the floor] Now, get down and sniff the rug.
Hodges: That's all they ever want.

Catherine: So, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Gil: How amazing the universe is. Everything made from the same carbon, stars to trees, trucks to human bones.
Catherine: Uh, no, I was thinking that we have about 100 bone fragments. We could ID this body before the end of the shift.

Catherine: [to Ray Lester] When, exactly, was the last time that you had sexual intercourse with your late wife?
Ray: Four years ago.
[holds up his hand]
Ray: Rosy Palm and Thumbelina are the only action that I get.
Catherine: Uh, wow. You know, uh, a joke like that doesn't quite seem appropriate for a distraught husband.

David: You'd be surprised how many women I get on this table with fake parts.
Catherine: Plastic lasts longer.

Dr. Al Robbins: There's evidence of sexual activity in every orifice, including his ears.
Catherine: You joking?
Dr. Al Robbins: No. We've got pubic hairs, vaginal secretions.
Catherine: Maybe he suffocated during oral sex.

C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: A wife kills her baby to get back at her husband over his affair. Come on. Any woman would go after the husband, not the baby.
Dr. Philip Kane: True, but in some instances, women have been known to kill their children as a way to pay back a spouse particularly if it's over an affair and particularly if the child was a male child.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Well, I don't buy it. I just don't buy it, doctor. She really loved that baby.
Dr. Philip Kane: Well, Catherine, that's why she's in this much pain now.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: A guy cheats, but the wife commits murder. How come moms always end up the bad guy with you Freud types?
Captain: That's because this mother is the bad guy.

Nick: Man! You find the best evidence in the nastiest places.
Catherine: You are what you throw away.
Sara: It's like peeling an onion into peoples' lives.
Catherine: Well, this onion is our time line, so peel back accordingly.

Nick: [after the body of a deceased woman is found in a storage unit] Catherine.
Catherine: Yeah?
Nick: What do you think went on here?
Catherine: Someone outsourced their health care to the wrong provider.

Nick: Hey, Catherine.
Catherine: Yeah?
Nick: You ever been in therapy?
Catherine: Who hasn't? Didn't save my marriage.
Nick: And you were okay sharing your problems with a complete stranger?
Catherine: Rather I tell them to you?

C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: When are parents going to learn a car is not a baby-sitter?

Nick: [Catherine waits outside the courtroom on the bench; Nick comes out] Damn!
Catherine: What?
Nick: Damn, damn, damn. I forgot to put case identifiers on my dice photos.
Catherine: Date, time and file number?
Nick: Yeah.
[Catherine doesn't say anything]
Nick: Don't look at me that way, okay? I wrote it down on the evidence envelope. I had to move fast. The casino manager wanted us out of there.
Catherine: The dice places Tom at the murder. Victim's blood mixed with his saliva.

Catherine: How much does this place clear in a week?
Lady: $10,000.
Catherine: I'm not with the IRS.
Lady: OK, $20,000.

[the team has entered the secret room and is dumbfounded to see it garnished with man-sized baby furniture]
C.S.I. Swing Shift Supervisor Catherine Willows: Wow! Just when you had thought you'd seen it all.
Warrick: People live in fear with this guy?
C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: Imagine the fear he lived with.

[When Grissom puts his ear up to the pile of bones on the table]
Catherine: Are the bones whispering to you?

Catherine: What are you thinking?
Gil: Led Zeppelin.
[pause. Grissom glances up the stairs]
Gil: Stairway to Heaven.

Catherine: What's with the smile?
Gil: They're playing our song.

Dr. Al Robbins: [to Catherine] Kids don't belong in the coroner's office unless they're in a drawer. You should've found a different way to deal with your daughter's rebellion.
Catherine: Well, with due respect, Doc, this doesn't concern you.
Dr. Al Robbins: Ever notice how childhood keeps getting shorter and shorter? Whose fault is that?
Catherine: I honestly don't know!

[in the autopsy room, looking over fragmented bones]
Dr. Al Robbins: You want a breast or a thigh?
Catherine: It's your kitchen.

Catherine: [to Daniel Easton] Want to mulligan on your first story? "Divorced"?
Daniel: What the hell was I supposed to say? My wife went out to get her hair done and never came home.
Catherine: Well, maybe you gave her a reason to leave. Spousal abuse, cheating...
Daniel: Aww, you people. You know, you were here 5 years ago with your grid searches, your dogs, your cadets. You came up empty. You give me a good reason why my wife left me, I'd love to hear it because I tried the truth. I didn't know what happened. You know what I got for it? They all think I killed my wife. Her parents sued me for custody. I lost my job, my friends. Only thing I got left are those kids and this house.
Catherine: Okay, you didn't kill her. At least back then.

Catherine: [after realising 'Sorenson' is a painting not a person] How dumb are we?
Warrick: [scoff] What's he know about the forensic analysis of a friction ridge?
Catherine: Right on.

Sara: [to Catherine] Hey, what's going on?
Catherine: I may have been roofied and raped. I woke up here.
Sara: What?
Catherine: I, uh, improvised my own rape kit. I've got pubic combing, nail scrapings, vaginal swab, urine samples...
Sara: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you call it in?
Catherine: I called you.
Sara: Catherine, doing it yourself is going to make anything that you get inadmissible.
Catherine: Yeah, I know procedure. I didn't want an official investigation. I... I just want to know what happened.
Sara: Okay, all right.
Catherine: Uh... I got to get this, uh, stuff to the lab. Room 229, it's right up there. Please print it, and keep it between us.
Sara: Okay.
Catherine: Thanks.

Greg: Hey Catherine, you think Sara would go to dinner with me?
Catherine: Sure, as long as you don't tell her it's a date.

[about a serial murderer]
Catherine: When we zig, he zags.

[first lines]
[Grissom struggles to tie a bowtie]
Catherine: What are you doing?
Gil: I'm going insane. I don't understand this diagram.
Catherine: You don't need a diagram. You need a woman.
[stands behind him and successfully ties the tie]
Catherine: I'm looking forward to your speech.

Catherine: [to Jessica Abernathy] Do you know anyone who might want to set fire to your home?
Jessica: I go to work. I take care of my kids and my mother, and that's my life.

Catherine: Okay, boys. There's always room for Jell-O.

Jim: How many floors we got?
Catherine: Well, no 13th. No 4 and no 14. Yeah, unlucky numbers. Different countries, different superstitions. That was something Sam taught me.

Conrad: You are a law enforcement officer, and a representative of this city, that means I expect you to conduct yourself in an appropriate manner in and away from this lab.
Catherine: You know what, if this is gonna be one of your "for the good of the lab" speeches, don't bother. I've heard them.
Conrad: Just, take a seat.
[Sara doesn't sit]
Conrad: Willows is a supervisor which means you treat her with respect, insulting her in front of coworkers...
Catherine: She's not my supervisor.
Conrad: ...Alright, your superior. Sara, you berate witnesses, you disrespect the people you work with, you luck your way out of a DUI take a look! You've got a half a dozen complaints in your jacket. And if Grissom *really* documented your performance there'd probably be a dozen more. That's not the kind of person I want in my lab!
Catherine: The only reason this is "your" lab is because Grissom doesn't kiss ass. You couldn't hack it in the field so you fail your way up, you break up our team, and now you just hang out in the hallways waiting for one of us to screw up!
Conrad: Sidle, you're on one week's suspension without pay.
Catherine: Great.
Conrad: And when you get back you're apologizing to Catherine.
Catherine: [frankly and with a smile] No I'm not.

Catherine: What kind of perverse game are you playing here, Gil?
Gil: I'm not a pervert.

Catherine: Karen did not want that for Jesse.
Jim: Well, it's still murder.

Sara: Project Sunflower promotes itself as doing God's work.
Catherine: I knew a stripper who claimed the exact same thing.

Catherine: Now tell me, why are we here?
Gil: Because this is the only place within 10 miles of Caulville Bay that serves Calamari.
Catherine: And you know this because...?
Gil: I come here for calamari.
Catherine: Alone?
Gil: No. Sometimes I have a beer with it.

Gil: [When CSU discovers the chat logs on the computer that Amy used] What would you do if you found this on Lindsey's computer?
Catherine: Ground her for life. Take the laptop.
Gil: Lock her in the attic, maybe?
Catherine: Well, you push kids, they push back. Things can get out of hand pretty quick.

Grissom: [after getting attacked]
[to Catherine]
Grissom: I'm fine.
Catherine: [touches his wound on his neck] Nasty. Kinda looks like a hicky.
[he pushes her hand away]

Catherine: Why is there a ring on your ring finger?
Warrick: Because I'm married.
Catherine: What?
Detective: Congratulations. How much did you pay her?

Catherine: So you slept through the whole thing and woke up next to a dead body?

Catherine: [refering to the killer] Unlike most guys, this one knows how to clean up after himself.

Captain: [about Melissa/Tammy] So we're looking at a split personality?
Dr. Philip Kane: Quite possible. Two personalities in one.
Captain: Is there any scientific evidence that supports this disorder?
CSI Dr. Gil Grissom: Brain scans have documented changes in the hippocampus of individuals shifting from one personality to another, but would these two personalities be aware of each other?
Dr. Philip Kane: Well, usually the dominant personality is aware of everything. The subjugated personality is only aware of itself.
CSI Dr. Gil Grissom: Tammy's the dominant personality.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: But Melissa killed Joseph Felton, Tammy's father.
CSI Dr. Gil Grissom: Who was also Melissa's kidnapper.
Captain: Revenge for a kidnapping 21 years after the fact?
Dr. Philip Kane: Well, it is possible. It may have taken that long for the subjugated personality to break free.
Captain: Maybe, uh, Miss Mirror-has-two-faces is playing us for fools. We corner her with the evidence, she goes nuts, sets the groundwork for an insanity plea.

C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: So, I'm thinking that the wife might be in on this.
C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: Well, why didn't she plan better? Pack the kid's clothes.
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: What?
C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: The nanny told me that she only took one shirt; one the kid wouldn't even wear.

Catherine: [Indicating the victim] If she's bit, there's spit. If there's spit, there's DNA. Swab her neck!

Catherine: Women in convertibles are low-hanging fruit.
Gil: And it was a top-down night.

Catherine: Well, according to her credit card records Portia Richmond hasn't spent a dime since she's been in the Mediterranean.
Sara: She's dead.
Catherine: Not necessarily. She may have been... swept off her feet.
Nick: Some guys still like to foot the bill.
Sara: How would you know?
Nick: Hey, I only go dutch if girls ask the wrong question.
Catherine: What question it that, Nick?
Nick: "What do you drive?"
Sara: It's a legitimate question.
Nick: No, it's not. What it means is "how much do you make so you can take care of me".

Catherine: [on seeing the crabs on the sleeping bag] Ugh.
Gil: You okay?
[Catherine turns the monitor so that he can see the crabs]
Gil: Pthirus Pubis.
Catherine: Yeah, crabs. I am buying Lindsey a chastity belt.
Gil: There's a... hole in the metal to let the urine pass, so theoretically, she could still get them.
Catherine: You are so creepy sometimes.