The Best Detective Shakima 'Kima' Greggs Quotes

Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: Who we got to fuck in this town to get a real office?

Kathleen: [Answering a call Kima has been asked to make to a Mr. Lyon] Hello, Kathleen O'Shea.
Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: Yes, hello? I need to speak with Mr. Lyon about the protocols.
Kathleen: I beg your pardon?
Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: Mr. Lyon, please.
Kathleen: You sound a little old for this, hon.
Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: Excuse me?
Kathleen: Who is this?
Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: This is Detective Greggs with the...
Kathleen: This is the Baltimore City Zoo.

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: [after his ex-wife hangs up on him] You know something? My ex-wife, the way she acts sometimes, the way she deals with shit... You would think a less enlightened man than myself, a cruder man than myself, a man less sensitized to the qualities and charms and value of women- a man like that, not me, but a man like that, he just might call her a 'cunt.'
Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: You just called the mother of your children a cunt.

Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: [quote after opening credits] If I hear the music, I'm gonna dance.

Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: It takes a whore to catch a whore.
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: What the fuck did I do?

Det. Ellis Carver: Kima, if you don't my asking, when was it that you first figured that you liked women better than men?
Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: I mind you asking.

Det. Ellis Carver: What he means to say is that we are effective deterrent in the war on drugs when we are on the street.
Det. Thomas Hauk: Fucking motherfuckers up.
Det. Ellis Carver: Indeed.
Det. Thomas Hauk: Fuck the paperwork. Collect bodies, split heads.
Det. Ellis Carver: Split 'em wide.
Det. Thomas Hauk: The Western District way.
Det. Ellis Carver: A'ight.
Shakima: You rogue motherfuckers kill me. Fighting the war on drugs, one brutality case at a time.
Det. Ellis Carver: You can't even call this shit a war.
Det. Thomas Hauk: Why not?
Det. Ellis Carver: Wars end.

[Bunk tries to sneak into his cubicle unnoticed, but Landsman slowly looms up over the partition, loudly slurping a drink]
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Aw, shit.
Sergeant: You tried to sneak by me, didn't ya?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: I was just comin' in quiet and respectful.
Sergeant: Well, for a big man, you do have a dancer's grace. But I, sir, I have the eyes of an eagle. And the fact that you tried to slither into your workspace undetected does not bode well for the recovery prospect of our missing firearm, does it?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: I'll get it.
Sergeant: Mm-hmm.
[Kima walks over]
Detective: What up, Mr. Bunk?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Hey, girlfriend.
Detective: Vernon Holley workin' tonight?
Sergeant: Uh, yeah, he's, um, 4-to-12. You should try the coffee room.
Detective: [realizes she's being shooed away] Yeah, all right.
[she leaves; Bunk and Landsman watch her go]
Sergeant: Man, I would murder that. If she wasn't, heh-heh-heh...
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Particular?
[pause]
Sergeant: Find that gun.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [annoyed] Yeah, okay.
[Landsman leaves]
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [under his breath] Muthafuck you too.

Bubbles: Little Squeak, off of Lanvale. Yeah, she used to boost for Turtle Wells' old mob. She lost a little bit of weight, too. I mean, looking a lot better than I remember. And I remember a lot about that girl.
Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: Damn, Bubs, is there anybody West Side you don't know?
Bubbles: Just citizens and shit.

Det. Thomas 'Herc' Hauk: If white boys wanna sell drugs in Baltimore, they have to make different laws for it, like even it out for 'em.
Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: Affirmative action.
Det. Thomas 'Herc' Hauk: Leave no white man behind.

Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: Fuck me. I still cannot type.

Det. Augustus Polk: Where are the fucking run sheets?
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Behind the board. You all go for a taste?
Det. Patrick Mahon: Hey. We got your picture, don't you fuckin' worry, McNulty.
[he slaps an old Polaroid down on the desk. McNulty looks at it and holds it up; the photo is of an older white man]
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: [incredulously] This is Barksdale?
Det. Augustus Polk: [self-satisfied] Avon Barksdale.
Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: [scoffing] I don't think so.
Det. Patrick Mahon: Read my lips: Avon fuckin' Barksdale. His name's on the form in the file.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Well, excuse me for giving a shit, but I can't help but notice this is a middle-aged white man.
Det. Patrick Mahon: Hey, you want somethin' different, you give me another name. That's the only Avon Barksdale in the Housing Department files.
[he turns to Polk]
Det. Patrick Mahon: You got your smokes?
[to McNulty and Greggs]
Det. Patrick Mahon: Have a nice fuckin' day.
[they leave; Kima examines the photo and shrugs]
Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: Maybe he's white.
[Kima and McNulty both burst out laughing]

Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: Damn boy, you smell like sex. Take a fucking shower.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Late for work.

Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: [Herc has been ranting about IID charges] Herc, What the fuck did you do exactly?
Sgt. Thomas 'Herc' Hauk: I lost a surveillance camera that I took without my Lieutenant's permission and the evidence that I had found, I it attributed to a made up informant.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Son, They gonna beat on your White ass like it was a Rented Mule.

Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: [recounting a memory] He says, "Here you go, rook." That's all he says. "Here you go, rook." And then he dropped the bracelets and walked away.

Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: How complex a code can it be if these knuckleheads are using it? Then again, what does it say about us if we can't break it?

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: You know what you need at a crime scene?
Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: Rubber gloves?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Soft eyes.
Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: Like I'm suppose to cry and shit?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: If you got soft eyes, you can see the whole thing. If you got hard eyes - you staring at the same tree missing the forest.
Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: Ah, zen shit.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Soft eyes, grasshopper.

Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: Cool Lester Smooth... hey, what's happenin'?
Det. Lester Freamon: Same fuck-ups in the same shit detail, workin' out of the same shithouse kind of office. You people lack for personal growth, you know that?

Det. Lester Freamon: You do any accents? English, British, Scottish, something like that?
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: [trying British accent] Crikey! I was looking to get a little hanky-panky and this one bloke gave me this number to call when I got across the pond.
Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: [laughs]
Det. Lester Freamon: [laughs] Work on it, son.

Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: Fighting the war on drugs, one brutality case at a time.
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Girl, you can't even think of calling this shit a war.
Det. Thomas 'Herc' Hauk: Why not?
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Wars end.

Troy: Shakima she's just talking like that 'cause I had her when she was good.
Shakima: Shiiit, you the ugly-ass motherfucker that turned me the other way.