The Best Acting Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell Quotes

Acting Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell: Anyone else having trouble with the writing on the wall?

[Valchek confronts Burrell at City Hall just before Burrell's confirmation hearing]
Maj. Stanislaus Valchek: You sent me humps.
Acting Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell: Major?
Maj. Stanislaus Valchek: You sent me a detail of humps, Ervin.
Acting Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell: We can discuss this tomorrow.
Maj. Stanislaus Valchek: No, I think we discuss it now. Or I'm gonna walk in there and tell Santoni to vote against this goddamn coronation. And more than that, I'm gonna talk some shit to some of my friends about what happened at the end of the Barksdale case. Do you hear me on that?
Acting Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell: The Barksdale case was a successful prosecution.
Maj. Stanislaus Valchek: Up until our people tried to chase the cash, maybe.
[Burrell looks around nervously as the council members begin filing into the chamber]
Maj. Stanislaus Valchek: Tell you what, Deputy. You probably still got enough votes. But I can make it uglier than you want it.
Acting Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell: What do you want, Stan?
Maj. Stanislaus Valchek: I want a real detail, with real police and a real unit commander.
Acting Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell: Fine. Done.
Maj. Stanislaus Valchek: Gimme that black lieutenant that did Barksdale.
Acting Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell: Daniels put in his papers. He's gone. Out the door.
Maj. Stanislaus Valchek: Did it meet the pension board yet?
[Burrell hesitates]
Maj. Stanislaus Valchek: I suggest you talk to the man.
Acting Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell: Look, I'll do what I can.
Maj. Stanislaus Valchek: Don't fuck with me, Erv. I got as many friends here in the Hall as you do. And with what I'm learnin' about the Barksdale case, I got all kinda shit I can throw.

Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell: Are you threatening me?
Maj. Howard 'Bunny' Colvin: I believe I am, sir. My apologies.

Dep. Comm.: What's this Sobotka to you?
Maj. Stanislaus 'Stan' Valchek: He's an asshole.

Acting Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell: I don't care how many years you have on this job. If the felony rate doesn't fall, *you* most certainly will. If the Gods are fucking you, you find a way to fuck them back. It's Baltimore, gentlemen. The gods will not save you.

Acting Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell: [about Proposition Joe's gang] What makes you think they'll promote the wrong man?
Lt. Cedric Daniels: We do it all the time.

Acting Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell: If the Gods are fucking you, you find a way to fuck them back. It's Baltimore, gentlemen, the Gods will not save you.