The Best Detective William 'Bunk' Moreland Quotes

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: You ain't gonna play that country shit, right? I hate that country shit.

Detective: Guy leaves two dozen bodies scattered all over the city, no one gives a fuck.
Detective: It's because who he dropped.
Detective: True that. You can go a long way in this country killin' black folk. Young males especially. Misdemeanor homicides.
Detective: If Marlo was killin' white women...
Detective: White children.
Detective: Tourists.
Detective: One white ex-cheerleader tourist missin' in Aruba.
Detective: Trouble is, this ain't Aruba, bitch.
Detective: You think that if 300 white people were killed in this city every year, they wouldn't send the 82nd Airborne? Negro, please.
Detective: There's gotta be some way to make 'em turn on the faucet.
Detective: Well, come on, Jimmy, you're the smartest boy in the room. You come up with somethin' in this broke-ass city.
[McNulty looks down the bar at a pair of women, then walks over to them and starts talking]
Detective: [leans over to Bunk] Isn't he married or some shit now?

[Bunk tries to sneak into his cubicle unnoticed, but Landsman slowly looms up over the partition, loudly slurping a drink]
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Aw, shit.
Sergeant: You tried to sneak by me, didn't ya?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: I was just comin' in quiet and respectful.
Sergeant: Well, for a big man, you do have a dancer's grace. But I, sir, I have the eyes of an eagle. And the fact that you tried to slither into your workspace undetected does not bode well for the recovery prospect of our missing firearm, does it?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: I'll get it.
Sergeant: Mm-hmm.
[Kima walks over]
Detective: What up, Mr. Bunk?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Hey, girlfriend.
Detective: Vernon Holley workin' tonight?
Sergeant: Uh, yeah, he's, um, 4-to-12. You should try the coffee room.
Detective: [realizes she's being shooed away] Yeah, all right.
[she leaves; Bunk and Landsman watch her go]
Sergeant: Man, I would murder that. If she wasn't, heh-heh-heh...
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Particular?
[pause]
Sergeant: Find that gun.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [annoyed] Yeah, okay.
[Landsman leaves]
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [under his breath] Muthafuck you too.

Sgt. Jay Landsman: Jimmy, I say this seriously. If I was laying there dead on some Baltimore street corner, I'd want you standing over me, catching the case. Because, brother, when you were good, you were the best we had.
Det. William Moreland: Shit, if you were lying there dead on some corner, it probably was Jimmy that done you.

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: You know why I respect you so much, Bunk?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Mm-mmm.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: It's not 'cause you're good police, 'cause, y'know, fuck that, right?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Mm. Fuck that, yeah.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: It's not 'cause when I came to homicide, you taught me all kinds of cool shit about . . . well, whatever.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Mm. Whatever.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: It's 'cause when it came time for you to fuck me . . . you were very gentle.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: You damn right.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: See, 'cause you could have hauled me out of the garage and just bent me over the hood of a radio car, and . . . no, you were, you were very gentle.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: I knew it was your first time. I wanted to make that shit special.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: It was, man. It fucking was.

Det. William Moreland: [repeated line to McNulty] Happy now, bitch?

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [Looking at a table full of photos of headless handless corpses] I bet there is another detective somewhere looking at a table full of heads right now.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: You know what you need at a crime scene?
Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: Rubber gloves?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Soft eyes.
Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: Like I'm suppose to cry and shit?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: If you got soft eyes, you can see the whole thing. If you got hard eyes - you staring at the same tree missing the forest.
Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: Ah, zen shit.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Soft eyes, grasshopper.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Now look. We all got roles to play.
Det. Lester Freamon: What's your role?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: I'm just a humble motherfucker with a big-ass dick.
Det. Lester Freamon: You give yourself too much credit.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: OK, then. I ain't all that humble.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Think again about what the fuck you doin'.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Bunk, this can work. It can!
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Fuck you. I mean that.
[McNulty pulls out a flask of whiskey and takes a pull]
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [disgusted] Oh, Jimmy, four in the fuckin' morning?
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: [looking at his watch] Oh, so it is.
[he sets the flask down, but Bunk snatches it away]
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: [gesturing to the open case files in front of him] All of these? Homeless murders from the last five years. Everything before that is on microfilm, but we got enough right here...
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Jimmy...
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: ...most of it open. We don't do so well with homeless killings. Transient locales, no nearest, no dearest, no one who gives a fuck. Cases stay open forever!
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: You goin' to jail behind this shit. Yes, you are. You know what they do to police in jail? Pretty police like yourself? Muthafucka, we have kids. Houses. Car payments. Furniture. Jimmy, I just bought brand-new lawn chairs and a glass patio table. Now, you don't buy no shit like that if you plannin' to lose your job and go to prison. You won't even get past the M.E.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Watch me.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: You're dumpin' murders on us that we can't solve, you're fuckin' the squad's clearance rate.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Oh, fuck the fuckin' numbers already! The fuckin' numbers destroyed this fuckin' department! Landsman and his clearance rate can suck a hairy asshole.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Marlo ain't worth it, man, nobody is.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Marlo's an asshole! He does not get to win, WE get to win! This case doesn't go away just 'cause the bosses can't find the money to pay for it! These are fuckin' murders! Ghetto murders, but still! I came back outta the Western to work this case 'cause they said it would be worked. I came back out on a promise, and they're gonna keep that promise... whether they know it or not.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: I'm gonna tell Landsman. Yeah. You keep on with it, I'm gonna rat you out.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Well, you do what you gotta do.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [sighing] My name is nowhere in the file. I don't want fuck to do with this.
[Bunk gets up to leave]
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Hey, Bunk.
[he motions with his hand; Bunk resignedly hands back the flask to McNulty and leaves]

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: The hell with Norris. You my real partner, Lester. My life partner.
Det. Lester Freamon: Don't tease, bitch.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Shit is like a war, ain't it. Easy to get in, hell to get out.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: At all hazards, a man must keep up appearances. Dignity, I say. Dignity above all, Governor. Hear, hear!

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: You're not the run-of-the-mill kind of asshole, are you, Jimmy? You're a special kind of asshole.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: A man must have a code.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: So you're my eyeball witness, huh? So why'd you step up on this?
Omar: Bird triflin', basically. Kill a everyday workin' man and all. I mean, don't get it twisted, I do some dirt too, but I ain't never put my gun on nobody who wasn't in the game.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: A man must have a code.
Omar: Oh, no doubt. Hey, man, I knew you from somewhere.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Yeah? I was in Southwestern, before I came to Homicide to work Frederick Road.
Omar: Nah, I mean back in the day. You go to Edmondson, right? Yeah, you was ahead of me. I remember you was the first brother I ever seen play that sport with a stick, uh, what's it called?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [chuckling] Lacrosse, man.
Omar: Fo' sho.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Yeah. I was All-Metro attack. Prep school boys used to pee themselves when they see the ol' Bunk comin' at 'em, you know?
[they laugh]
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Oh, man, so look here, homie. Seein' as how you bein' all charitable with your recollections, what else you got in the way of open murders?
Omar: Goin' to Barksdale?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Goin' anywhere.
Omar: How far back you want me to go?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: As far as you need. Murder stay murder.

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: You see Griggs out there, bagging evidence alone, then going back out there to recanvas on a triple? A triple fucking murder! A home invasion, and she's working it alone. They pulled Crutchfield this morning, put him back on the rotation.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: That's on them! You can't come...
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Fucking right, it's on them. A triple murder, and 12 hours later they leave one detective alone on it? I guess she's lucky she has a car!
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: This shit won't work.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Well, then we're no worse than before. Extra red name or two on the board.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Yeah, unless you got caught.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Who in this fucking unit's going to catch me? Most of the guys up here couldn't catch the clap in a Mexican whorehouse.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: So Cheese. Who's your dog?
Melvin: Huh. You my dog.
[air kisses Bunk]
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Heh heh heh, I just want to know who's your dog. Dog.
Melvin: What's this, some psychology? Huh? Yeah, OK, uhh... "Yo please, stop, stop! I'll tell you everything I know."
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: C'mon Cheese!
[shows Cheese some photos of murder victims]
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Who's your dog?
Melvin: Oh hell no! Y'all a'int layin' no bodies on me man. Lawyer time!

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [types in "Peanut" in database] 89? And that's just the ones with Westside addresses.
Det. Vernon Holley: Man, you got to narrow that shit down. Find some way to work with all them "Peanuts."
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Motherfucker, do I look like George Washington Carver?

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: You got yourself a hell of a case.
Moreland: Fuck you very much.

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: So what do you think?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: I think this is a tragic motherfucking miscarriage of justice. I think it deserves a special grand jury, and if not, the President should appoint an independent prosecutor. Oh, no no, no no, actually, I think Kofi Bryant and the United fucking Nations should get involved.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [to McNulty] There you go. Givin' a fuck when it ain't your turn to give a fuck.

Asst. State's Atty. Rhonda Pearlman: [Reading an affadavit] You all cannot spell for shit.
Det. William Moreland: Well, would we be police if we could?

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: I don't know. Men of color usually don't do themselves. I mean, take me, for instance.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Yeah, I mean, you got all the reason in the world.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: And yet here I am, still standing.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Give or take.

Det. Shakima 'Kima' Greggs: [Herc has been ranting about IID charges] Herc, What the fuck did you do exactly?
Sgt. Thomas 'Herc' Hauk: I lost a surveillance camera that I took without my Lieutenant's permission and the evidence that I had found, I it attributed to a made up informant.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Son, They gonna beat on your White ass like it was a Rented Mule.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: You turning the world upside down with your bullshit. How are you not in jail?
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: I don't know. The lie's so big, people can live with it, I guess.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Jesus fucking Christ, Jimmy. I told you. I fuckin' told you it was gonna come to this. You played with fire, didn't you? And now we're all getting burned.

Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: What the fuck is that?
Asst. State's Atty. Rhonda Pearlman: It's a man's purse. European men like yourself sometimes carry one.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [mumbles] Hm. Them people ain't right over there.

Det. Lester Freamon: What did he call Cole?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Collateral damage.
Det. Lester Freamon: I'm feelin' pretty damn collateral myself, I gotta say.

Off. Beatrice 'Beadie' Russell: You must know Jimmy McNulty?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: He's dead to us.

Det. Michael Crutchfield: Did he fuck you?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: He tried. But mostly he just fucks himself.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [both investigating a crime scene] Ah, fuck.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Motherfucker.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Fuck, fuck, fucking fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: What the fuck?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Ah fuck.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Fuck! No.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Ah,fuck.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Fuck it. how the fuck?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Motherfuck. Aw, fuck. Aw fuck.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Fuckity, fuck fuck, fuck fuck, fucker. Ah fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck. Motherfucker.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Fuckin' A. Fuck.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: What's that?
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Motherfucker.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Fuck me.

Det. William Moreland: Boy, them Greeks and those twisted-ass names.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Man, lay off the Greeks. They invented civilization.
Det. William Moreland: Yeah? Ass-fucking, too.

Det. Vernon Holley: So you never got a look at either of the gunmen?
Andy: [Krawcyzk is still scared from the shooting] I told you. I saw only the one of them. He was black. Big, I thought. With a large weapon.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: B.N.B.G.
Det. Vernon Holley: [as Krawcyzk looks puzzled] Big Negro, Big Gun.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Boy, them Greeks and those twisted-ass names.
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Man, lay off the Greeks. They invented civilization.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Yeah? Ass-fucking, too.

Moreland: I'm just a humble motherfucker with a big-ass dick.
Freamon: You give yourself too much credit.
Moreland: Okay then. I ain't that humble.

Omar: Shoot, the way y'all looking at things, ain't no victim to even speak on.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Bullshit, boy. No victim? I just came from Tosha's people, remember? All this death, you don't think it ripples out? You don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. I was a few years ahead of you at Edmondson, but I know you remember the neighborhood, how it was. We had some bad boys, for real. Wasn't about guns so much as knowing what to do with your hands. Those boys could really rack. My father had me on the straight, but like any young man, I wanted to be hard too, so I'd turn up at all the house parties where the tough boys hung. Shit, they knew I wasn't one of them. Them hard cases would come up to me and say, "Go home, schoolboy, you don't belong here." Didn't realize at the time what they were doing for me. As rough as that neighborhood could be, we had us a community. Nobody, no victim, who didn't matter. And now all we got is bodies, and predatory motherfuckers like you. And out where that girl fell, I saw kids acting like Omar, calling you by name, glorifying your ass. Makes me sick, motherfucker, how far we done fell.

[investigating a corpse in a vacant house]
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: How happy am I to see my pager go off with your call number?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Smoke 'em if you got 'em, because this muthafucka is as ripe as they get.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: We aren't up. Nolan's squad is up.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: I know, I know.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: But you had to answer the fuckin' phone, didn't you?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: I gotta pay down my credit cards, man.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Not off him, you ain't. Motherfucker, I leave you alone for a minute or two, what do you do?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: All right, I heard ya!
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Well, say the words, Bunk.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [offers McNulty a cigar] Oh, come on, man.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Speak to me.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [puts the cigar away] So you gonna cut and run on the Bunk? That shit ain't right, Jimmy. All right then, this is my case, my file. This shit comes back a murder, you ain't gotta do shit but stand there and laugh at me. You happy now, ya bitch?
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: This'll teach you to give a fuck when it ain't your turn to give a fuck.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: It ain't even gonna be a murder. This muthafucka probably came in here to take a shit or somethin' and just fell out. I betcha there ain't nothin' to it.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: [turns to leave] You hope.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Where you goin'?
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Back to the office, where I belong.
[he leaves; Bunk looks down at the corpse]
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: You... molderin' muthafucka, don't even think about comin' back a murder. Don't even think of that shit.

Det. William Moreland: You seem awfully happy today.
Det. Ray Cole: I got laid last night.
Det. William Moreland: Oh yeah? Your asshole still hurt?

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Jesus, what the fuck did I do?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: You happy now, bitch?

[Bunk and McNulty are staking out Vondas' house; Vondas comes out wearing a suit]
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: A different look for our boy.
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Yeah. Perry Ellis or somethin'.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Now, how would a just-rolled-outta-bed-lookin' muthafucka like you know the designer?
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Okay, I'm guessin'.
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: It's a Joseph Abboud. He puts dark buttons instead of brass on his blazers. That's the Abboud signature.
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: You know what they call a guy who pays that much attention to his clothes, don't you?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Mm-hmm. A grown-up.

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: So that's the cop shooter?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: Yeah, not much to it. But he did that job on the Dozerman kid last week. Gave it up on a full statement.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Before or after you knocked the shit out of him?

[Stewedores' Union members were testifying in front of the Grand Jury]
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: How did we do, Charlie?
Charlie: I almost got one to swear that the docks are actually near the water.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [to an inattentive McNulty] I'm thinking of becoming a woman.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [McNulty has trouble loading up the camera] Maybe you ought to set up an easel on the sidewalk and do a sketch instead.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: The Bunk can't swim. I ain't too good at floatin' either.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [quote after opening credits] The bigger the lie, the more they believe.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: [quote after opening credits] Aw yeah. That Golden Rule.

Chinese: [Speaking foreign language]
Moreland: Hey, hey.
Chinese: ...English.
Middle: No English.
Eastern: ...English.
Arab: English...
Moreland: Kunta kinte, yabbdabba dabba do.
African: Huh...?
Freamon: Hah mishy gishy gushy gushy mishy meshy mushy, motherfucker.
African: Eh?
Freamon: Eh! Negro, you can not travel half way around the world and not speak any motherfuckin' English.
African: [Speaking foreign language]
Freamon: English, motherfucker!