The Best Sergeant Ellis Carver Quotes

Sgt. Ellis Carver: They said you're leaving for family reasons.
Dep. Comm. for Operations Cedric Daniels: Guess I got some kids somewhere I don't even know about.

Sgt. Ellis Carver: [the entire squad, plus backup, has chased a runner for several blocks into some overgrown backyards. Carver gets up on the roof of a car and yells this monologue at the top of his lungs] Now listen to me you little fuckin' piece of shit; I'm gon' tell you one thing, and one thing only, about the Western boys you're playing with: We do not lose! and we do not forget! and we do not give up! Ever! So I'm only gon' say this one time: If you march yo' ass out here right now and put the bracelets on, we will not kick the livin' shit outta you. But if you make us go into the weeds for you, or make us come back out here tomorrow night, catch you onda corner, I swear to fuckin' Christ, we will beat you longer, and harder, than you beat your own dick!

[Carver and Colicchio pull up to Bodie's corner and get out of the car]
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Where's the love, Bodie? Where is the muthafuckin' love?
[to Colicchio]
Sgt. Ellis Carver: I go back so far with this kid, I was chasin' him through juvy.
[to Bodie]
Sgt. Ellis Carver: But does any of that matter when we roll up here? I get so much as a wave, a nod, a smile? Nothin'?
[Bodie hawks and spits, but says nothing]
Sgt. Ellis Carver: How 'bout just "hello"?
Preston: Hello.
Sgt. Ellis Carver: See? That wasn't so hard, was it?
[he turns to Lex, who is sweeping the sidewalk and trying hard not to be noticed]
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Lex, my man, how's your day goin'? Not to criticize or anything, but I think you missed a spot there.
[he turns to Little Kevin and Reesy]
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Little Kevin, how's it hangin'? Reesy, you look like someone just shot your dog. You all right, man? You okay?
[he turns back to Bodie]
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Reesy still messin' up the count?
Little: [to Reesy] You hear what he said?
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Yo, dawg, you send him up to Lamelle next month, I'll make sure Ms. Davis puts him in remedial math, and we'll have done some good here today.
[Bodie chuckles]
Reesy: [chuckling] He's fuckin' got me.
[McNulty pulls up in his squad car and gets out]
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Everything good?
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Yeah, just words.
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: [to Bodie] Mr. Entrapment. How you doin'?
[Bodie sighs and rolls his eyes]
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Don't look like that, I'm still dining out on that story.
[to Carver]
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: You know how he beat the wiretap a year ago? Claimed entrapment when he was clockin' in Bunny Colvin's Hamsterdam. Shit you not. Smart kiddo. I loved it.
[to Bodie]
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: When I roll back in an hour, this corner's bone-dry. Your people are done for the day.
[he gets back in his car and drives away]
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Okay, so let's try this again: I say, "Have a good evening, Mr. Broadus."
Preston: And a good evening to you, Sergeant Carver.
Sgt. Ellis Carver: See?
[he taps his forehead, and he and Colicchio walk back to their car]
Preston: [sarcastically] And a very good evening to you, Officer Colicchio.
Off. Anthony Colicchio: [viciously] Fuck yourself with a forty, shitbreath.
[to Carver]
Off. Anthony Colicchio: The fuck was all that about?
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Can't bust every head, Tony.
Off. Anthony Colicchio: [chuckling] I can't?
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Bust every head, who you gonna talk to when the shit happens?

Bernard: So I get paid?
Detective: Yeah, you get paid, but you *don't* get paid, *we* get paid.
Bernard: Why don't they give you the money and leave me out of it?
Detective: 'Cause we need someone to be confidential informant #238, registered with the department. See, we get you registered, we get paid.
Bernard: So you're gonna snap my picture...
Sergeant: And your Social Security number.
Bernard: And they give me money, which you guys keep, and I don't get nothin'.
Detective: Hey, cuz, did you do anything to deserve the money? Huh?
Bernard: Did you?
Detective: Yeah, we cracked the fuckin' case wide open. We brought back very significant information about a major drug trafficker. That's what *we* did.
Bernard: But that's your fuckin' job, right? You get paid a salary for that.
[Carver looks annoyed]
Detective: Bernard, you're upsetting my partner, man. What are you doin'?
Bernard: Ten percent.
[Carver looks at him incredulously]
Bernard: Ten percent goes to me, and I don't tell.
Detective: You don't tell because your ma and my ma are sisters. That's why you don't tell, Bernard.
Sergeant: We're not even gonna use your real name. You're gonna be registered as Fuzzy Dunlop, a street name.
Bernard: Fuzzy Dunlop.
Detective: Yeah. Right.
Bernard: Ten percent.
[Herc and Carver look at each other]
Sergeant: [annoyed] Wonderful, now I'm in business with the whole fuckin' family.
[quickly snaps Bernard's picture]

Sgt. Ellis Carver: [to drug dealers] This shit is like unemployment insurance. Every employer gotta pay in. If I find out anyone been holding out, then he's out of here back on the street getting his head busted. The least y'all can do is look out for your own people a little bit.
Det. Thomas 'Herc' Hauk: What are you, a fuckin' communist?

Det. Thomas 'Herc' Hauk: It's like one of those nature shows. You mess with the environment, some species get fucked out of their habitat.
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Did you just use the word "habitat" in a sentence?
Det. Thomas 'Herc' Hauk: I did.

Sgt. Ellis Carver: [about Herc, modeling sunglasses] His name is Head. Dick Head.

Det. Ellis Carver: Word comes down this morning. We're supposed to ride past your union hall twice a day and paper the cars.
[i.e. put tickets on them]
Frank: You work for a gaping asshole!
Det. Ellis Carver: More than one, actually.

Sgt. Ellis Carver: Both Olsen twins. Ashley. Kate...
Det. Thomas 'Herc' Hauk: Mary Kate. And, yeah, I admire their body of work.
Sgt. Ellis Carver: They're yours. All you gotta do is name a guy.
Det. Thomas 'Herc' Hauk: [thinking] I'm not catchin', I'm pitchin'.
Sgt. Ellis Carver: No problem.

Off. Anthony Colicchio: You know what this is? It's moral midgetry. Turn the fuckin' world upside down, treat these braindead corner yo's like princelings.
Sgt. Ellis Carver: You see how clean the corners are? In every sector, street traffic is half what it was.
Off. Anthony Colicchio: Fuck that. It's wrong, and it's wrong.

Det. Thomas 'Herc' Hauk: [playing music from Shaft on his car stereo] He's a complicated man. And the only one that understands him is his woman.
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Seek therapy.

Sgt. Ellis Carver: The young man seems to think highly of you boss. He invoked your name with a measure of respect.
Maj. Howard 'Bunny' Colvin: It wasn't but a few weeks ago when I was in a room with him being called everything but a child of God. "Mr Colvin sir, fuck you."
Namond: Yo at least I said mister.