Top 30 Quotes From Everything Everywhere All at Once

[repeated line]
Evelyn: [to Deirdre] I love you.

Waymond: [to Alternate Evelyn; subtitles] You think I'm weak don't you? All of those years ago when we first fell in love... your father would say I was too sweet for my own good. Maybe he was right.
Waymond: [to verse-jumpers] Please! Please! Can we... can we just stop fighting?
Waymond: [subtitles] You tell me it's a cruel world... and we're all running around in circles. I know that. I've been on this earth just as many days as you.
Waymond: I know you are all fighting because you are scared and confused. I'm confused too. All day... I don't know what the heck is going on. But somehow... this feels like it's all my fault.
Waymond: [subtitles] When I choose to see the good side of things, I'm not being naive. It is strategic and necessary. It's how I've learned to survive through everything.
Waymond: I don't know. The only thing I do know... is that we have to be kind. Please... be kind... especially when we don't know what's going on.
Waymond: [subtitles] I know you see yourself as a fighter. Well, I see myself as one too. This is how I fight.

Jobu: Do you know why I actually built the bagel? It wasn't to destroy everything. It was to destroy myself. I wanted to see if I went in, could I finally escape? Like, actually die. At least this way... I don't have to do it alone.

Waymond: You can either come with me and live up to your ultimate potential, or lie here and live with the consequences.
Evelyn: I want to lie here.

Raccacoonie: Chad, don't forget about me!

Chad: Raccacoonie, I don't know what I'd do without you.

Evelyn: You are not unlovable. There is always something to love. Even in a stupid, stupid universe where we have hot dogs for fingers, we get very good with our feet.

Evelyn: What did my silly husband say to you?
Deirdre: He told me about your situation. I remember when my husband served me papers. I drove his Kia Forte through my neighbor's kitchen. But you know what I say? It's cold, unlovable bitches like us that make the world go round.
Evelyn: That's not true. You're not unlovable.

Joy: Do you still want to do your party?
Evelyn: We can do whatever we want.

Jobu: I got bored one day and put everything on a bagel.

[to Joy]
Evelyn: Of all the places I could be, I just want to be here with you.

Jobu: If nothing matters, then all the pain and guilt you feel for making nothing of your life goes away

Jobu: Not a single moment will go by without every other universe screaming for your attention. Never fully there. Just a lifetime of fractured moments, contradictions, and confusion. With only a few specks of time where anything actually makes any sense.

Waymond: [as Alpha Waymond] Every rejection, every disappointment has led you to this moment. Don't let anything distract you from it.

Joy: Mom, just stop! Good for you. You're figuring your shit out. And that's great. I'm really, really happy for you. But I'm tired. I don't want to hurt anymore. And for some reason when I'm with you, it just hurts the both of us. So let's just go our separate ways, ok? Just let me go!
Evelyn: Ok.
[pause]
Evelyn: Wait. You are getting fat. And you never call me even though we have a family plan. And it's free. You only visit when you need something. And you got a tattoo and I don't care if it's supposed to represent our family. You know I hate tattoos. And of all the places I could be, why would I want to be here with you? Yes, you're right. It doesn't make sense.
Waymond: Evelyn, stop. That's enough!
Joy: Let her finish!
Evelyn: Maybe it's like you said. Maybe there is something out there, some new discovery that will make us feel like even smaller pieces of shit. Something that explains why you still went looking for me through all of this noise. And why, no matter what, I still want to be here with you. I will always, always, want to be here with you.
[Joy starts crying]
Joy: So what? You're just gonna ignore everything else? You could be anything, anywhere. Why not go somewhere where your daughter is more than just this? Here, all we get are a few specks of time where any of this actually makes any sense.
Evelyn: Then I will cherish these few specks of time.
[Evelyn and Joy embrace]

[last lines]
Deirdre: Evelyn! Did you hear me?
Evelyn: Sorry, what did you say?

Evelyn: Enough of your clay pots, cream cheese, no cows! Explain it all to me, now!

Jobu: [singing] Sucked. Into. A Bagel...

Evelyn: What if... I want to go back? Back to the other universe...
Waymond: [Waymond begins shaking her furiously] Shut it down. Shut it down! Are you with me? Come back!

[after verse-jumping for the first time]
Evelyn: [to Alpha Waymond] I saw my life... without you... I wish you could have seen it... it was beautiful.

[in the middle of the tax meeting]
Deirdre: Mrs. Wang? Mrs. Wang, are you with us?
Evelyn: Yes. Of course. I am here. Just... thinking.
Deirdre: Oh, okay. Well, I was just hoping that you could explain this.
[Deidre places a receipt on the table. Evelyn looks at it]
Evelyn: This is a receipt. My receipt.
Deirdre: Look, I... I was just hoping that you could enlighten me as to how, as a laundromat owner, a *karaoke machine* could constitute a business expense.
Evelyn: [meekly] I am a singer.
Deirdre: [sighs] Of course you are.
Waymond: It's true. She has a beautiful voice! Oh! Evelyn, sing a song for her.
Evelyn: Shh!
Deirdre: No, no, please. That will not be necessary. But I will need a separate Schedule C for each of these businesses because based on what you're trying to deduct...
[Deirdre shuffles through a pile of forms, referencing them at random]
Deirdre: ...you're also a novelist and a chef, a teacher, a singing coach, and a "Watsu" technician. I'm sorry, what... what is "Watsu"?
Waymond: It's a water massage.
Deirdre: What's a water massage?
Waymond: Like for back pain. You go get a water massage.
Deirdre: Oh, you go?
Waymond: Yes.

Chad: [crying] You took everything away from me!
Evelyn: I'm sorry.
Chad: Raccacoonie taught me so much! I... I didn't even know... how to boil an egg! He taught me how to spin it on a spatula! I'm useless alone.
Evelyn: We're all useless alone. It's a good thing you're not alone.
[Evelyn climbs onto Chad's shoulders and pulls his hair]
Evelyn: Let's go rescue your silly raccoon.

Gong: [addressing Alphaverse members] Once again, the Alphaverse finds itself as the last line of defense against total chaos. Be brave. This Evelyn is as stubborn as the others. She has given us no choice. We must kill her before she becomes another Jobu Tupaki.

Evelyn: [struggling with legal predicament] I can't talk right now. Unless you can help me with my taxes. What is "gross necklaces"?

Waymond: [subtitles] So, even though you have broken my heart yet again, I wanted to say, in another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.

[having been discovered under Chad's chef hat by Evelyn]
Raccacoonie: She's seen too much!

Jobu: Every new discovery is just a reminder...
Evelyn: We're all small and stupid.

Evelyn: No more google eyes!

Jobu: [after turning a police officer into confetti] See, I CAN walk through you.

Waymond: I wanted to start off the new year on a new foot. But, maybe you're right. Maybe we would have been better off, if we had never gotten married.
Evelyn: I never said that.
Waymond: You didn't have to. It's the way you look at me.