The Best Jarvis Quotes

Jarvis: May I say how refreshing it is to finally see you on a video with your clothing on, sir.

Tony: JARVIS, have you heard the tale of Jonah?
Jarvis: I wouldn't consider him a role model.
[Iron Man flies through a Leviathan]

[the Marks 8-41 arrive at the oil rig to surround the Extremis soldiers]
Tony: Jarvis, target Extremis heat signatures. Disable with extreme prejudice.
Jarvis: [echoing through the suits] Yes, sir.

Jarvis: [Thor has just thrown a thunderbolt on Iron Man] Power to four-hundred percent capacity.
Tony: How about that?

Jarvis: [while Tony is wearing the Mark II Armor] Test complete. Preparing to power down and begin diagnostics...
Tony: Uh, yeah, tell you what. Do a weather and ATC check, start listening in on ground control.
Jarvis: Sir, there are still terabytes of calculations required before an actual flight is...
Tony: Jarvis... sometimes you gotta run before you can walk.

Colonel: Give me a suit.
[holds out arms]
Tony: Sorry, they're only coded to me. Don't worry, I got you covered.
[a suit approaches Rhodey]
Jarvis: Good evening, Colonel. Can I give you a lift?
Colonel: Very funny.

[after end credits]
Tony: [arriving home] Evening, JARVIS!
Jarvis: [voice distorted] Welcome home, sir...
[Stark stops as he sees a figure in his living room]
Nick: "I am Iron Man". You think you're the only superhero in the world? Mr. Stark, you've become part of a bigger universe. You just don't know it yet.
Tony: Who the hell are you?
Nick: Nick Fury. Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Tony: Ah.
Nick: I'm here to talk to you about the Avenger Initiative.

Jarvis: Mark 42 inbound.
[Stark sees the MK42 armor flying toward the battlefield]
Tony: I'll be damned. The prodigal son returns.
[Stark summons Mark 42 to come to him, but it hits a pole and breaks into pieces]
Tony: Whatever.
Aldrich: You really didn't deserve her, Tony. It's a pity. I was so close to having her... perfect.
[jumps down to confront Tony]
Tony: OK, OK, wait, wait, slow down, slow down! You're right... I don't deserve her. Here's where you're wrong: she was already perfect.
[Stark summons the Mark 42 pieces to assemble on Killian and attach him against the wall]
Tony: Jarvis, do me a favor and blow Mark 42.
Aldrich: NOOO!
[the suit explodes]

Tony: [as Pepper is walking down the stairs] Hey. Ow,Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah.
Jarvis: It is a tight fit sir.
Tony: Hey, Ah.
Jarvis: Sir the more you struggle the more this is going to hurt
Tony: Be gentle. This is my first time.
Tony: I designed this to come off, so... hey. I really should be able to...
Jarvis: Please, try not to move sir.
Virginia: Whats going on here?
Tony: [pauses] Lets face it. This is not the worst thing you've caught me doing.
Virginia: Are those bullet holes?

Jarvis: I seem to do quite well for a stretch, and then at the end of the sentence I say the wrong cranberry.

Pepper: ...and all your distractions?
Tony: Uh, I'm going to shave them down a bit...
[taps earpiece]
Tony: Jarvis. Hey.
Jarvis: All wrapped up here, sir. Will there be anything else?
Tony: You know what to do.
Jarvis: The Clean Slate Protocol, sir?
Tony: Screw it, it's Christmas! Yes, yes!
[One by one the suits explode]
Tony: [embraces Pepper] OK so far? You like it?
Pepper: [crying] It'll do.

Jarvis: Sir, I think I need to sleep now...
[shuts down]
Tony: Jarvis! Jarvis? Don't leave me, buddy...

Jarvis: Yes. Shall I render using proposed specifications?
Tony: Thrill me.
[as Jarvis works on the render, Tony watches benefit at the Disney Concert Hall on TV]
Jarvis: The render is complete.
Tony: A little ostentatious, don't you think?
Jarvis: What was I thinking? You're usually so discreet.
Tony: [gazes at a 1930s hotrod] Tell you what. Throw a little hotrod red in there.
Jarvis: Yes, that should help you keep a low profile. The render is complete.
Tony: Hey, I like it. Fabricate it. Paint it.
Jarvis: Commencing automated assembly. Estimated completion time is five hours.
Tony: [looks at his watch] Don't wait up for me, honey.

Colonel: We couldn't save the President with the suit, how are we going to save Pepper with nothing?
Tony: Uh... say, Jarvis? Is it that time?
Jarvis: The House Party Protocol, sir?
Tony: Correct.
[the suits activate]