The Best Jay Paulson Quotes

X: [Leaving William's basement] Do you think there will be any girls there?
X: [Looks at him with an annoyed look as he carries the ladder] Are you kidding me? People may be even having sex tonight!

X: [after reenacting a lightsaber duel from The Empire Strikes Back] Hey! Luke doesn't push Vader!
X: Well he should've. I mean, the guy cut his hand off.

William: [Discussing "The Plan" with the X-Philes] Okay, you're Boba Fett, and you're Grand Moff Tarkin.
X: How come he gets to be Boba Fett?
William: Ok, fine, *you're* Boba Fett, and *you're* Grand Moff Tarkin.
X: I don't want to be Grand Moff Tarkin!
William: All right, fine, you know what? You're both KISS dolls!

Catherine: [to Leo Finley] What are you doing here?
Leo: I was waiting for you.
Catherine: How did you get in here?
Leo: Can't we talk about something interesting? Me for instance. I'm interesting.
Catherine: Yeah, let's do that. Let's talk about you.
Leo: For starters, Norah left me. Actually, she threw my stuff out onto the street, got a restraining order on me, notified the neighbors and called my boss. "Hey, Scumbag. Don't bother coming in, we'll mail you your last check." So in one fell swoop, as it were, I lost my girlfriend, my livelihood and my place to live. I thought it was going to be different this time. Frankly, I blame you.
Catherine: I didn't create the circumstances of your life, Leo.
Leo: You grind up the innocent with the guilty.
Catherine: Just take it easy. I was just doing my job.
Leo: [mockingly] I was just doing my job.
Catherine: Yeah, I was just doing my job.
Leo: I was just doing my job. I was just following orders. Blonde Nazi bitch! You get in there with your big boots and you kick it all apart and you don't care who you hurt. Whose life you destroy in the process.
Catherine: Calm down.
Leo: No! It's not fair.
Catherine: Calm down!
Leo: Don't tell me to calm down!
Catherine: [draws her gun] Just stay back and calm down!
Leo: You going to shoot me? Would that help you figure out how completely you screwed my life up? Would you sleep better at night? Maybe I should just save you the trouble and blow my own brains out. What do you think?
Catherine: I think you need to talk to somebody.
Leo: I am talking to somebody. I'm talking to you. So how about this, if I do decide to kill myself, I'm going to come over to your house and blow my brains out right on your front lawn. As a gift to you and everything you stand for. How does that work for you?
[turns and walks away]

Eddie: I was there, but I didn't kill her. And I didn't kill my brother. But it doesn't really matter what I say, you won't believe me anyway.
Kate: Well, considering your other choice is murder one, I would roll the dice.