Top 1000 Quotes From Castle

[last lines]
Mr. Smith: You play chess, Mr. Castle? There are times when a well-placed pawn is more powerful than a king.
Richard: I have your number if I need to reach you.
Mr. Smith: You don't reach me, Mr. Castle. I reach you.

Hayley: Okay, then tell us something unique about the killer's scent.
Kate: Yeah.
Mia: There was a hint of nail polish remover.
Kate: A six-foot-tall guy who smells like nail polish remover? This is a waste of time.
Richard: Hang on.
[to Mia]
Richard: Tell her the thing.
Mia: Okay, how about this? There was an old oil painting in that briefcase.
Richard: Boom.
Kate: How do you know that?
Mia: Are you slow? I smelled it.
[to Castle]
Mia: Are you sure you want her back? 'Cause I think you can do better.

[last lines]
Richard: [having finally met Ryan's girlfriend Jenny] So, what about this imaginary boyfriend of yours? Are we going to see him around here? Or is he at home tied to a bed?
Kate: What's the matter, Ricky? You jealous?
Richard: No. You only get to punish him at night. You punish me all day.
Kate: Well, you deserve it.
Richard: [feigning offense] What did I do to you?
Kate: Let's just start with the first day we met...

Martha: Look, I know you're busy, but I'm... I'm worried about Richard.
Javier: Really? Why?
Martha: Last night he was just whisked away by a couple of federal agent... thugs. Then when I talked to him today, he was nice, sincere, no smart-ass quips. So, something is definitely wrong.

[Castle has won a bid for a storage unit containing evidence connected to the murder investigation]
Richard: You are so going to owe me for this.
Kate: Castle, I don't know if the department's gonna be able to reimburse you for all of this.
Richard: [whispering] That's not the owing I mean.

[locating the victim's car]
Javier: Two blocks away from the alley. Blood smeared on the armrest. This is definitely it.
Richard: He was shot somewhere else and then he came here? Why not go home? Why not go get patched up?
Kate: He was meeting someone in that alleyway.
Javier: Phone. His last call was 4:47 a.m., just before he died.
Kate: Run that number.
Javier: All right.
Kevin: Hey, Beckett. Gun. It's a .38. Recently fired.
Richard: So it was a shootout. That's how he got the shoulder wound.
Kate: Which means wherever he came from, there might be another body.
Javier: [looking at the car's GPS] I know where he was coming from.
Richard: Where?
Javier: His last entry was 299 1st Avenue.
Richard: What-What's at 299 1st Ave.?
Kate: Captain Montgomery's house.

[SPOILER: ]
Richard: Hey, Beckett?
Kate: [in the bedroom] Yeah?
Richard: If Mason had an incinerator in the basement, why wouldn't he just dispose of Caleb's body there?
[Castle is suddenly shot by an anonymous assailant]
Caleb: [entering] I told Mason that you would figure it out...
Kate: Castle?
Caleb: ...but the old man wouldn't listen to me.
Richard: Caleb, don't...
Caleb: Sorry, Rick, but how am I gonna enjoy my retirement with you and the Mrs. hunting me?
Kate: [entering] Castle!
[she and Caleb exchange gunfire; Beckett hits Caleb, and as he dies, she falls to the ground, a bloodstain appearing on her shirt; she and Castle crawl towards each other and hold hands for comfort]

[having greeted Castle with a punch in the face]
Caine: What can I say, Rick? You *really* had it coming.
Richard: Yes, I did. Thanks for not killing me.
Caine: The carpet's an antique, Turkish, mid-1600s. Blood stain on it would've been a disaster.

Lanie: [Castle is sniffing something on the victim] Castle, what are you doing with my body?
Kate: Just pretend like you don't know him.

[Castle looking in the refrigerator but not finding what he is looking for]
Richard: Where'd it go?
Martha: Where'd what go, darling?
Richard: My leftovers from Le Cirque. They were right here, right where this... hole in the fridge is. I was gonna use that Chateaubriand for my morning scramble.
Martha: Well, I certainly didn't eat them. I wouldn't look this good if I was pigging out on leftovers.
Richard: Yes, well, this isn't the first time this has happened. Food has been going missing for the past month. It's not just leftovers, either. It was the peanut butter, uh, artichokes, a whole quart of mulligatawny soup. Gone.
Martha: Well, maybe you've been sleep-eating... again.
Richard: Again? I've never sleep-ated. Sleep-ate. Eaten. Have I?
Alexis: [coming downstairs] Hey, I'm off to class.
Richard: Hey. How did you like that, uh, Chateaubriand? Wasn't that a wonderful white wine reduction?
Alexis: What Chateaubriand?
Richard: All right, it's the housekeeper. I knew it. She has been putting on weight.
Martha: Sorry, darling, she hasn't been here for three days.
Alexis: Maybe there are tiny Borrowers living under the floorboards who come out at night to steal your food.
Richard: It's not realistic. They'd be too small to get the fridge door open.

Kevin: Oh. How'd it go with Castle last night? Is he ahead of us or behind us?
Kate: Uh, we're definitely on top of him.

[at Beckett's apartment, she and Castle hear a knock on the door]
Kate: Who is it?
Kevin: Beckett, it's Ryan.
Richard: [relieved] Oh.
Kate: Hide. Quick, in the closet over there.
Richard: Yeah, I'm not getting in there.
Kate: Why? I hid in your closet, why can't you hide in mine?
Richard: Why should I?
Kate: Because...
Kevin: Beckett, is everything okay?
Kate: Fine!
[to Castle]
Kate: Okay, maybe I'm not ready for anyone to know yet. Right now.
Richard: Come on, how's he gonna know?
Kate: You're here, just like I was there.
Richard: Yes. Yes, the difference being I have my pants on. Or... Or are you embarrassed to be seen with me?
Kate: Okay, fine. Just act normal. If that's even possible for you.
Richard: It's me.

[Alan has asked his crush out on a date]
Richard: Well, done, Alan! Now all we have to do is plan the perfect date. How much time do we have?
Alan: Well, we're meeting at Botticelli's in thirty minutes.
Richard: Tonight?
Alan: You said yourself. It's time to start living.
Richard: Yes, I just thought it would be after we apprehended your would-be murderer.
Alan: I know. I will just embrace my powers. Maybe this *is* my origin story. And my dinner with Gwen will be the beginning of something really terrific!
Richard: That's the spirit, Alan. And I'm going with you.
Alan: Oh, please don't.
Richard: The first two attempts on your life were meant to be anonymous. Quiet. It's very unlikely they'd try something in a public place...
Alan: Exactly.
Richard: Though they did fail twice, they may try to kick it up a notch.
Alan: What are you saying?
Richard: Don't order an appetizer.

[first lines]
[responding to his doorbell ringing early in the morning]
Richard: Yes, yeah, I'm coming.
[opens door]
Paula: [entering] You are not going to believe this.
Richard: Paula...
Paula: You are *so* not going to believe this.
Richard: What are you doing here?
Paula: I can't even believe it.
Richard: Believe what?
Paula: I can't tell you.
Richard: I'm still asleep, aren't I? I'm dreaming. I'm having the dream where my book agent has shown up at my house at... *7:00 AM* to not tell me something.

Kate: If I care about you, Castle? You cut a deal for my life like I was some kind of a child. My life. *Mine*. You don't get to decide.
Richard: You keep going with this, they're gonna decide. They're gonna come for you, Kate.
Kate: Let them come! They sent Coonan, and he is dead. They sent Lockwood, and he is dead. And I am still here, Castle. And I am ready!
Richard: Ready for what? To die for your cause? This isn't a murder investigation anymore, Kate. They've turned it into a war.
Kate: If they want a war, then I will bring them a war. Straight to their doorsteps.
Richard: Well, I guess there's just nothing I can say, is there? Okay. Um... Yeah, you're right, Kate. It's your life. You can throw it away if you want, but I'm not gonna stick around and watch you, so this is, um... over.
[he turns to leave]
Richard: I'm done.

Kate: What's wrong with you?
Vikram: Headache. I'm dizzy. I... I need to eat something.
Kate: Yeah, well, maybe you should have grabbed some breakfast this morning instead of calling me.
Vikram: [seeing an open soda can and taking a sip] I'm a diabetic. I'm gonna need insulin.
Kate: [taking off her shirt to sew up the wound on her stomach] Yeah, well, one medical emergency at a time.
Vikram: Is it bad?
Kate: [sterilizing a needle] It could be worse. I'm gonna start sewing, and you're gonna tell me what the hell's going on here.

[last lines]
[to Ryan and Esposito about who solved their case first]
Richard: [laughing] Yeah, well, then how about NASCAR? As our car flew to the checkered line, you guys crashed and burned.
Kate: Under a beautiful full moon.

Javier: Why do you care about some mother-freaking snakes on a mother-freaking plane?
Richard: Because as a murder mystery novelist, I am highly paid to think like a bad guy. Here are a few fun facts about snakes, they are cold-blooded, they swallow huge amounts, and they digest their food very slowly.
Kate: Perfect for smuggling.

[at Peakmore Psychiatric Facility they hear screams in the distance]
Javier: Yo, I'd try to escape, too, if I lived here. Who knows what they're doing to 'em back there.
Richard: Can't be anything worse than what we did historically. Many cultures mistook mental illness for a sign of sorcery. Treatments ranged from, well, prayer to drilling holes in the skull to release the demons.
Kevin: Definitely a case of the cure being worse than the disease.

[last lines]
Kate: You were right.
Richard: Okay.
Kate: Everything that you said, you were absolutely right.
Richard: Could you be more specific?
Kate: That our break-up could have just been a cover, so that we could bring down LokSat together.
Richard: Yeah. I wish you would have come to me.
Kate: Well, I'm here now. So let's do it.
Richard: It's not that easy.
Kate: I thought that you... would...
Richard: Just take you back? In spite of what you put me through?
Kate: Look, Castle, I am sorry. I hate that I hurt you. That was never what I wanted.
Richard: But you did hurt me, Kate. And what's worse, you lost faith in me.
Kate: No, I never... I need you, Rick. I didn't realize even how much I needed you until this happened... Please. Just don't make me do this without you.
Richard: Okay.
[kisses her]
Richard: Though you do realize... I'm gonna have to punish you a little first.
Kate: Naked punishing?
Richard: *Very* naked punishing.
Lucy: Aw, you guys.

Richard: [arriving at a funeral home] Don't we usually get to the victim before the funeral?

Lanie: [amused] Girl, I'm gonna smack you. You work side by side every day. He writes a sex scene in his book about you that had *me* reaching for ice water. Now, Little Miss Bride shows up. Don't tell me you're not the least bit jealous.
Kate: Oh, please. You've been inhaling too many autopsy fluids.
[Beckett begins to leave the room]
Lanie: Honey, just because *you* can't see whats goin' on...
[voice escalates as Beckett starts leaving]
Lanie: ... doesn't mean everyone else doesn't see what's going on!
Kate: [from outside the room, in a singsong] Shut up!
Lanie: Mm-hmm.
[to Sophie, the corpse]
Lanie: 'Cause I see it. You may not, but I do.

[entering Castle's office at his apartment]
Kate: Wow... I fell like Alfred... in the Batcave for the first time.
Richard: Hmm. Batman fan. Figures.
Kate: Why?
Richard: Similar origin stories. Loss of a loved one leads to a life of fighting crime.
Kate: Yes, well, you are the multi-millionaire crime fighter.

Richard: It's "Romeo and Juliet". With a nerdy Romeo.
Javier: And a smoking hot Russian Juliet.

[Alexis joins Martha at the counter where Castle is mixing drinks]
Alexis: [sadly] I need a drink.
[Castle looks at her in disbelief]
Alexis: H-two-O. Dirty.
Richard: Tap water it is.

[bringing Castle a cup of coffee]
Kate: Hey.
Richard: [after long pause] She sounded so scared... I could hear it in her voice, just like when she was a little girl. And there was nothing I could do.
Kate: She wasn't hurt, Castle. That's what matters. That's what we hold onto.
Richard: I just want her home.
Kate: [taking his hand] We're not giving up yet.

[Castle and Beckett, in elevator at the police station, talk about FBI agent Will Sorenson]
Kate: Six months.
Richard: [pause] Six months what?
Kate: We dated for six months.
Richard: I didn't ask.
Kate: Yeah, I know. You were not asking very loudly.
Richard: I know, I'm like a Jedi like that.

[learning of an affair the victim allegedly had while staying at the ranch]
Richard: An affair with a married man.
Kate: Yes, and she was with him until 3 am. That's right in the middle of her time-of-poisoning window.
Richard: We gotta find this guy.
Kate: But how? We're undercover. I can't just flash my badge and get people to talk.
Richard: Exactly. Which is why we don't approach this like cops, we approach this like writers.
Kate: So, we procrastinate and make stuff up?
Richard: No. Well, yes, but no. In this particular instance, we approach the investigation like writers by... doing research.

[as Kyle, presumed dead, arises from the autopsy table and flees]
Kate: Castle, call for backup!
[runs in pursuit]
Richard: [picking up phone] How, How do I...
M.E. Sidney Perlmutter: Nine.
Richard: Nine.
Richard: [dials, then to Perlmutter] Is there a police code for "zombie on the loose"?

[last lines]
[Giving a 'come hither' motion with her finger to the camera man, and leading him down the halls and around corners]
Kate: Come here. Come on... Look, I know I'm not the easiest person on the planet to get to know, but you guys have been patient, and I've got something to show you. It's a secret. Actually, Castle doesn't even know about it. It's, it's this place that I love to go to. And once you see it, I think you guys will understand me a whole lot better.
[She opens a door and motions him inside]
Kate: Go ahead. All the way in the back.
[It's a supply cabinet. The camera swings around in time to see Beckett stick out her tongue and then close the door and lock it]
Cameraman: [Off camera] Heeeyyy! Hey!

[discussing Shana's secret trip to Boston]
Javier: Why would she be looking at fifteen-year-old incident reports?
Kevin: I bet Castle knows.
Javier: Are you kidding me? There is no way he's ahead of us on this.
Kevin: Hey. He got to the morgue before us, and that lawyer.
Kate: Ryan, he is resourceful, but he is not that resourceful.
Kevin: He got you to marry him, didn't he?

[as Castle leaves the precinct dealing with his daughter's abduction]
Captain: You do whatever you need to do to get him back his little girl... Anything you need, Detective.
Kate: Thank you, sir.

Kate: Castle, would you just work with me?
Richard: How about you work with me? How come you always have to lead?
Kate: How come you always have to step on my toes?
Richard: Since when do... Okay, you know what? Tell me this, why do you always have to be first? First out of the elevator, first through the door.
Kate: Um, I am a *cop*. I'm the one with a gun. Being first through the door is my job.
Richard: In the elevator? Look, how about this? Would it kill ya to let someone open the door for you once in a while?
Kate: You do realize that if somebody opens the door for me, then I will be going through it first anyway, right?
Richard: Oh, yeah, that's right. I forgot. You have to be the *smartest*, too. Everything's a competition with you.
Kate: That is so not true. Are you always like this in the mornings?
Richard: You know, I'd argue with you, but then I'd have to let you win.

Kate: So, let me get this straight. You wanna re-investigate Eric's murder on behalf of *your* friend, Dino, the mob boss?
Richard: Okay, well, when you put it like that, it sounds bad.

Kate: Cause of death?
Lanie: Ligature marks and petechiae suggest strangulation.
Kate: What about this wound on her forehead?
Javier: It's non-lethal. Given the detail, looks like it was carved by some kind of razor.
Richard: It's a symbol of some kind.
Kate: Do you recognize it?
Richard: No, but the killer went through a lot of trouble. Must mean something.

Richard: Heading out?
Kate: Yeah. It's late.
Richard: Motorcycle boy?
Kate: I really wish you would stop calling him that.
Richard: Dr. motorcycle boy?

Richard: We can stay at a hotel. That way, you don't have to listen to her say that line over and over again.
Kate: No, it's okay. I mean, we're gonna manage, it's just your mom's kind of...
Richard: Annoying? Yeah, I know. Trust me, we're getting off easy. One time, her opening line was "Come on, baby, I'll make it worth your while."
Kate: [chuckles] Ooh, I see what you mean.
Richard: Yeah. Most awkward parent-teacher conference ever.

Martha: Oh, Richard, I am so pleased about you and Katherine.
Richard: Thank you.
Martha: Try not to blow it.
Richard: Thank you.

[having waited to 'die' in an on-line video game before responding to Beckett's flirtations]
Richard: No, I don't have to think about it. Come on over here.
Kate: Are you kidding me?
Richard: What?
Kate: You know what? Forget it.
Richard: Seriously, I died on purpose for you.
Kate: [leaving] Whatever.
Richard: Come on! What?
[into his microphone]
Richard: No, I... It's not my mom,
[whispers]
Richard: it's worse.

Javier: Yo. Bobby Stark's blazer. Courtesy of the costume lady at the pageant.
Kate: And the broken black sequin?
Javier: Perfect match.
Richard: "Bam," said the costume lady.
Kevin: [approaching] Ooh. She's not the only lady saying "bam" when it comes to Bobby Stark.
Kate: Does he have a record?
Kevin: Uh, no criminal charges, but Mr. Stark has quite the reputation.
[holding up three folders]
Kevin: Three women filed restraining orders against Bobby Stark in the last year. All for "unwanted advances."
Richard: How come I didn't hear about this on TMZ?

[Ryan has provided a lead]
Alexis: Bike tracks. There were bike tracks outside Kim's house. Dad, do you realize what this means?
Richard: That maybe the party Kim went to was at that farmhouse and she saw kids doing meth.
Alexis: No, not just doing meth. Cooking meth.
Richard: That's why she had to get out of there. That's why she told Lyle she had some decisions to make.
Alexis: She was thinking about turning them in. So maybe when she left the party...
Richard: One of our teenage meth cookers got worried she'd go to the cops.
Alexis: And he went after her.
Richard: On his bike.
Alexis: Mm-hmm.
Richard: The tire tracks at her house? He knew where she lived because he'd been there before.
Alexis: He was one of the other guys Kim was seeing.
Alexis: We need to talk to Kim's mother.
Richard: Now that was weird... Usually I do that with Beckett.

[suggestively, as Castle cleans up a mess in the kitchen]
Kate: You know, once you clean that up, maybe we could go for a, um, round... three?
[she takes off her kimono, revealing she's wearing a sexy negligee]
Richard: Whoa... You do not have to tell me twice. Or should I say thrice?
[they move in to kiss when the front door opens; Beckett rushes to cover up and hides behind Castle]
Martha: Good morning, my darlings!
Richard: Mother, I really wish you would call before you came over.
Martha: Well, I don't want to risk interrupting you two love birds in the middle of you-know-what. And it looks like I have interrupted you in the middle of you-know-what. And with a melon? My, my. I'm not judging, but, room temperature.

Vikram: Yesterday morning, I got an alert that a pending interagency database search generated a result. Right away, I knew it was weird because the search was two years old, and it was instigated by a former agent named Kate Beckett.
Kate: What was the search for?
Vikram: The document it uncovered was a just-declassified electronic memo, heavily redacted. From what I could tell, it detailed a meeting between a federal official of some kind and Senator William Bracken.
Kate: When I started at the A.G.'s office, I ran a keyword search, hunting for criminality connected to Bracken, and I never got a hit.
Vikram: Well, yesterday, you did. And five people are dead because of it.

[first lines]
Richard: [on radio flying a toy helicopter by remote] Sector six maverick. This is your captain up and on the mount. Listen up, ladies and gentlemen, our fugitive has been on the run for 90 minutes. We've in the pipes. Let's keep our feet dry this time. Jungle radio. This is One Delta Bravo. Eyes on suspect. Requesting backup. Over. Requesting permission to deploy laser-activated radioactive immobilizer.
Martha: Permission denied.

Javier: Man's got the mayor on speed-dial. The rich really are different.
Kate: You want him? He's yours.
Javier: A control freak like you with something you can't control? No, no. That's gonna be more fun than Shark Week.

[Discussing the relationship between Paul Whittaker and Lone Vengeance]
Richard: Paul is the writer. Lone Vengeance is the subject. That's their relationship. It's you and me, all over again. But I'm Paul, and you're Lone Vengeance.
Kate: Really, Castle? Is that how you see me, like a sword-wielding killer?
Richard: Depends. Will you be scantily clad?
Kate: In your dreams.

Kate: Oh, bikes are what girls want when we realize we're never gonna get a pony.

Thomas: This way.
Kate: No, my car is out front.
Thomas: They're watching your car. You go that way and you'll die.
Richard: Who's out there? Who are they?
Thomas: You can have answers or you can live. Your choice.

Richard: Seriously, Beckett, do you have any idea what this means? We're about to be the first people in the nation, no, the *world*, to solve a Bigfoot murder.
Kate: Very funny, Castle, but there is no such thing as Bigfoot.
Richard: Tell that to the people who've been sighting him for 400 years.
M.E. Sidney Perlmutter: [approaching] So, I typed the blood. It's a match to our victim.
Richard: Never mind the blood. What is your opinion on these?
[gestures to giant footprints]
M.E. Sidney Perlmutter: Professionally, I can't speculate what those are, Mr. Castle. But personally, I can say that anyone who believes in Bigfoot is an ass.
Richard: Well, that is a common assertion amongst the uninformed.

Frank: Nice to meet you, Mr. Castle. Your girl's one in a million. You should be proud.
Richard: Oh, I am.

Kay: I cannot believe that someone has been watching me.
Richard: Ms. Cappuccio, when you say that your dog goes with you everywhere...
Kay: Oh, my God. He could have seen me in the shower, he could have seen me and Reggie in bed together... He could have seen me without my makeup. I feel so violated.

Richard: [to the camera] You know, Detective Beckett is not an unfriendly person. She's just got walls. Just, let's call them... layers. Layers upon layers of... uh, well, walls. But once you *scale* those walls, the effort is worth it.
Javier: [whispering] Castle, keep your voice down please. All right? I've already had one guy bolt on me today. Element of surprise is key. See, I can be circumspect. Folks would be lost without me.
Richard: [laughing to the camera] He went the wrong way.

Kate: Hey, Ryan, anything from the FBI?
Kevin: No. The symbol's not in their database. Neither is our killer's M.O.
Kate: And what about the white rusty van outside of Emma's apartment? You guys track it down?
Kevin: No traffic cams on her block, so, so far, it's not looking good.

Mason: You realize she picked your pocket.
Richard: Oh, yes.
Mason: Whose address is on that piece of paper?
Richard: It's a casting director my mother wanted to have a meeting with.
Mason: Um, Kendall is going to be mad when she finds out.
Richard: Like I'm scared of her.
Mason: She is a master of Krav Maga... and she is deadly with a sniper rifle from a mile and a half... Good luck.

[going into a building where the killer may be]
Kate: [holds out a gun to Castle] Here.
Richard: [unsure] Want me to hold it while you tie your shoe?

Kate: Hey, Castle, listen... Thank you for staying with me.
Richard: Always.
[they lean in to kiss, but police sirens stop them]
Richard: That's...
[Ryan, Esposito, and Captain Gates get out of the car and come over to Castle and Beckett]
Richard: [to Ryan as they hug] Perfect timing.
Kevin: Definitely.
Javier: [to Beckett] You good?
Kate: Yeah, did she see it?
Javier: No.
Captain: Glad to see you, Detective. Even you, Mr. Castle. I have to say, I don't know too many men who would've done what you did.
Kate: Neither do I.
Captain: [after a pause] Oh, for Heaven's sake Detective. Just kiss the man.
[everyone looks shocked]
Kate: Sir, you know?
Captain: What? Do you think I'm an idiot? I needed to maintain plausible deniability, which I can continue as long as you two both act professionally at the precinct.
Richard: I know I can, but, Captain, she has a long history of coming on to me at work...
Kate: I don't think it'll be a problem, sir.
Captain: Good. Meanwhile, as long as we're on neutral ground here, I'd say, uh... he deserves it, wouldn't you?
Kate: Yes, sir, I would.

[Castle has unexpectedly shown up at the crime scene]
Kate: Castle? What are you doing? You know that you're not allowed to be here.
Richard: Actually, I am. Because I'm no longer Richard Castle, ordinary citizen.
[pulls out a paper from jacket]
Richard: I am now Richard Castle... private investigator.
Kate: You got your PI's license? Without telling me?
Richard: I took an online course. Finished last night. Are you surprised?

Javier: Yo, I talked to the manager at Suisse Federal. He confirmed that a bank account with those numbers exists, but he refused to give out any information on it.
Captain: Did he at least acknowledge it was Peter Cordero's account?
Javier: He couldn't, because he didn't know himself. It's a numbered account, set up for privacy. So the only way anyone can access it is with a password.
Kate: So there's no way to know what Cordero was doing?
Javier: No.
Richard: Unless...
[points to the photo of the victim's hand]
Richard: Six digits... Seems kind of password-y to me.
[a few moments later at a computer]
Kate: Okay, read it to me.
Richard: 7-2-3-5-9-8.
Kate: Come on.
[she's allowed access]
Richard: We're in! Castle, you've done it again.

Lanie: It's just... when I was young, more than anything, I wanted to be a prima ballerina. If I wasn't dancing, I was thinking about dancing.
Richard: So what happened?
Lanie: [waving around her chest] The girls came along when I was 13.

Detective: [denying Castle's request for a ride-along] I need a writer hanging around like I need a case of the crabs.

Richard: What about you? How are, how are you doing?
Kate: I'm fine. Why?
Richard: Well, it's hard to see your idols fall.
Kate: Oh, Castle, Stephanie Frye was never my idol. Lt. Chloe was. And as far as I'm concerned, she's still out there fighting evil and saving humanity. And no self-centered actor's ever gonna take that from me... And you know what? If they do make a movie, I'm gonna be first in line to see it.

Kate: [talking to Rogan's ex-girlfriend] So, um... did he mention any trouble yesterday? Or say anything about you having something in your possession that he urgently needed? Something in the garage or house?
Tildy: Actually, yeah. He said he needed the laptop I took from his apartment. Said he needed it right away.
Richard: Did he say why?
Tildy: No. But since it's my laptop, I figured it was a line of bull, that he wanted me to give it up so he could sell it for the money.
Richard: [to Beckett] Given how anxious he was to get his hands on it, it might have something to do with his abduction.
Kate: Tildy, could we borrow that laptop? Might help us find him.
Richard: We are trained professionals, and Rogan might be in some very, very serious trouble.
[cut to Beckett and Castle in their car]
Kate: He's in trouble all right! I mean, all these years, he knew that we were married! He knew when I got here. And for fifteen years, he's been using that as an excuse not to commit.
Richard: [snickering] Coma wife. It's kind of brilliant.
Kate: You mean despicable, right?
Richard: [awkward silence] Yeah. That's what I meant.

[watching a murder caught on tape]
Richard: That was awesome! I mean, well, obviously it was horrible, but... That's not the Arctic.
Kate: That's an apartment, but where?

[autographing a copy of "Storm Season"]
Richard: And here you go.
Richard: Thanks. I'm your number one fan!
Richard: Well, thanks for coming.
[after fan leave, to himself]
Richard: How far they fall.

[Castle sees Esposito is using a cane]
Richard: Wh- What happened to you?
Javier: Injured in the line of duty.
Richard: Really? How?
Kevin: I... accidentally shot him in the gluteus maximus.
Richard: In the ass?
[laughs]
Richard: Or maybe I should give this to you. I'm sorry. This is so not funny.
Mia: [laughing] You're right. It's hilarious.
Richard: [roaring with laughter] It's hilarious. Come on, Mia, let's make way for, uh, Crackshot Ryan and Assposito.

Richard: I'm just saying, what if he was telling the truth, and he really was recalled back to the future?
Kate: He wasn't recalled back to the future. And do you know how I know that? Because he's not a time traveler.
Richard: Okay. So where is he?
Kate: Simple explanation? There was a mix-up with the paperwork when his charges were dropped, and some desk monkey accidentally let him go and now they are all trying to cover their asses.
Richard: That's reasonable. It's... unlikely, but it's reasonable.

Martha: And you know, nothing you can say will change how we feel. What men don't understand is, the right clothes, the right shoes, the right makeup, just... It hides the flaws we think we have. They make us look beautiful to ourselves. That's what makes us look beautiful to others.
Richard: Used to be... all she needed to feel beautiful was a pink tutu and a plastic tiara.
Martha: We spend our whole lives trying to feel that way again.

Kate: Martha? Is everything okay?
Martha: You tell me, kiddo. Last time we were together, you and Richard were, uh... "ha ha". You know? And now, just a few short weeks later, you and Richard are "pfft". You know?
Kate: It's complicated.
Martha: Mmm. So were his last two divorces.
Kate: Ah, God, Martha. We're not getting a divorce.
Martha: Well, call me old-fashioned, but don't married couples live together?
Kate: Yes, but it- it's complicated, and I'm- I'm working through a few things.
Martha: Richard told me that right before he declared he was going to win you back. Look, as you know, my son is a lot of things, some of them... good, some of them not so good. But he is someone... you can always count on. That is a rare thing, kiddo.

Richard: All right, Emma... so... you didn't kill your boyfriend. Let's figure out who did. As you know, all my stories start in the same place, in the beginning. So tell me what happened.

Richard: How did the, uh, thing go with the, uh... you know, do the thing in the thing and give the thing to the doctor?
[Esposito nod]
Kevin: Yeah. Uh, it went... fine.
Javier: [smirks at Castle, turns to Ryan, and point at Ryan's "thing"] So are your swimmers swimming?
Kevin: [looks down, uncomfortable, and covers it] Um, I don't know yet.

Richard: Hello, Sheila.
Sheila: [looking shocked] Richard... Figures you'd be at the heart of this mess.
Richard: Detective Beckett, this is Sheila Blaine, mother of the bride. So, I guess I didn't end up homeless or teaching at a third-rate college in New Hampshire after all.
Sheila: There's still time.
Richard: I've missed our special talks. Sheila didn't approve of struggling artists. You must like Greg, though. He's from money, right?
Sheila: It was never about the money, Richard. It was about character. And you would know that... if you had any.
[Sheila walks away]
Kate: Wow! Just imagine, if things had worked out, you'd be spending Thanksgivings with her.
[Castle shudders at the thought]

Kevin: Unis pulled this from a trash bin. Wallet's inside. Vic's name is Michelle Lewis.
Javier: According to her business card, she's a dog walker.
Kate: There's a print here... and it's... too large to be our victim's. Let's get it to the lab for...
[Shaw snaps a photo of the purse]
Kate: What are you doing?
Special: That print is already in the lab and being processed. No muss, no fuss, no black powder on your clothes.
Richard: [in awed jealousy] Wow, there's an app for that?
Special: That's why I joined the FBI, Mr. Castle. For the toys. Really eager to see that body.
Richard: [as Shaw leaves] Can I take a look at that?
[Castle moves to follow her, but Beckett stops him]
Richard: Be a chance to check it later.

[trying to identify what artwork a paper doll was cut from]
Alexis: Let me see.
[examines the image]
Alexis: Chiaroscuro.
Richard: You recognize that?
Alexis: It's a style of painting that was invented during the Renaissance, exemplified by strong contrasts between light and dark. We learned about it in Art History. Try looking up Caravaggio or Peterzano.
Richard: Can I just say, this school of yours is worth every penny I paid.

[Castle has provided her with a lead]
Kate: Castle, listen to me...
Richard: Don't... Don't promise me you'll find her unless you can do it. Because... I would never forgive you... any more than I'd ever forgive myself.

Richard: That every happen to you with me? One day you look, and see your boy is all grown up?
Martha: I'm stil waiting for that moment, actually.
Richard: I set you up for that, didn't I?

Javier: Have a seat, Ms. Shipton.
Hayley: Oh, no, please call me Hayley. I insist that anyone who's frisked me use my given name.

Kevin: Nun walks into a precinct. It's like the beginnings of a bad joke.
[begins to straighten tie]
Javier: You wanna borrow a comb or something?
Kevin: Shut up.
Javier: You know what this reminds me of? Watching one of those body-switching movies where the guy *looks* like a grown man but he's actually twelve.
Kevin: Hey! Let me tell you something. Catholic school is like combat. Unless you've been there, you don't know.
Javier: Uh... I have been there. In combat. And it's way worse than some old lady.

Kate: Look, I'm not gonna lie to you. You are going to prison. But if you tell me where Kent and Oren are, then you can still control what kind of prison.
Adam: What's the expression? Three hots and a cot? Works for me.
Kate: Yeah, well, you're not gonna be saying that if you get sent to the supermax unit. Where we put our most dangerous and violent inmates. You'll be on lockdown there 24/7 for the rest of your life.
Adam: Can't be any worse than high school.
Kate: Really? And you think you were bullied? Well, prison is going to take you places that you can't imagine. Guy like you? Young, teachable?
Adam: Doesn't matter. I already have what I want.
Kate: And what do you think you have?
Adam: A legacy. The Internet is permanent. The Netslayer will live forever. I'll be mentioned in the same breath as Manson and the Zodiac. And... if I commit a murder while in police custody, while looking you in the eye, I could argue I did them one better. And there's nothing you can do to stop me.

Kate: These are the mission documents?
Special: Is there even a *sentence* that doesn't have redactions?
Agent: Not a complete one. Somebody is definitely trying to hide whatever went on here.
Kate: I-I'm sorry, Castle. This is... pointless.
Richard: Can you do a word search for "Valkyrie"?
Agent: [typing] It doesn't appear in the document. Probably because it was redacted.
Richard: Right, but what about a search for blacked-out, eight-letter words the same *length* as "Valkyrie"?
Special: Aren't all eight-letter words the same length?
Richard: Well, not in a proportional font like Times Roman. Um... each character will vary in size from the narrowest, uh, lower case "i," to the widest, upper case "W." So the combination of letters in the word "Valkyrie" will create a very specific length, not unlike a typographical fingerprint.
Agent: I may be able to work with that.

Kate: This isn't phone sex, Ryan. You don't just pay for the two minutes that you used.

Captain: What went wrong?
Kate: We don't know. It could have been greed, panic. It looks like our victims might have been betrayed by their partner.
Captain: In the old days, you killed your partners after you got the money.

[Castle's phone chirps and he checks the message]
Kate: What?
Richard: Nothing. It's a, um... text alert on a project Alexis has been working on.
Kate: I thought you guys weren't talking.
Richard: We're not. Rather... she isn't. So I insulted her boyfriend. What's the prison sentence on that?
Kate: Oh, Castle, just give her some time. She'll get over it.
Richard: That's what you think. Once when she was three, I refused to buy her a candy bar. She held her breath until she passed out. You have no idea how determined she can be.

Kate: [reading the victim's file] She had a troubled childhood, drug problems in her teens and twenties.
Richard: I know.
Kate: How do you know?
Richard: I read the case file. She kicked the habit. Met and married Samuel Cavanagh. She worked in a restaurant. He managed a bank. They have two kids.
Kate: When did you read the case file?
Richard: [Beckett picks up Castle's cup of coffee] That... When you were in the little girls' room.
Kate: I was gone for like a minute.
Richard: Speed reader. Something I picked up from my years stranded in the New York Public Library.
[Beckett picks up the file and covers her face to ignore him]
Richard: [peeking over the top of the folder] Would you like the CliffsNotes, or in this case, the CastleNotes?
Kate: [lowering the file] Castle, how do you know you didn't miss something important?
Richard: Like, after Melanie disappeared, her husband waited a day before he called the cops?
Kate: A day? That doesn't make any sense.
Richard: Until you get to the third paragraph. Before Melanie was married, she was what is now referred to as as a runaway bride.
Kate: According to her husband, she ran away a whole two weeks before their wedding day.
Richard: Mm-hmm. And then she came back. Three years happily ever after, she disappears again. Comes back. Lather, rinse, repeat three times. No indication of where she went.
Kate: Well, she must have had a reason for running away.
Richard: Hmm. I'm not judging her. Some people love the institution, hate the day-to-day.
Kate: Are you one of those people, Castle?
Richard: I guess I just haven't met the right girl.

Kate: I'm not his girlfriend. I am a homicide detective.

[on the phone with her father]
Kate: No, Dad, it's not true... Yes, I know what they wrote. We're still engaged. What do you mean Aunt Theresa put it on her Facebook? Well, tell... Tell her to take it down. I gotta go. I love you... Bye.

Kate: You know what, I am just following the evidence, wherever it may lead. And as a cop, I'm going to consider every possible worldly explanation.
Richard: Mm-hmm. And what if there is none?
Kate: Well, then I'm open to the alternative.
Richard: [laughs] You? Skepticus Maximus?

[last lines]
[having escaped to a roof, she sees people on the street]
Alexis: [screams] Help...

[first lines]
Extra: Regina, your new album, "Fatal Impact", drops next week. What can you tell us about it?
Regina: It's about love, heartbreak and revenge. It's my best album yet.

Martha: I heard about the shooting on the news. It could have been you. You know that, don't you?
Richard: Yeah, but I'm fine. It wasn't me.
Martha: Richard, this isn't one of your books. You don't know the ending. You were just lucky yesterday.
Richard: You're overreacting, mother. Where is this coming from?
Martha: ow the hell can you ask me something like that? Think about how much you love Alexis and that is how much I love you. And don't you *dare* ask me where this is coming from!... You have gotten through most of your life... on your wit and charm and no small amount of talent, but that is the real world out there, and you can't *charm* your way out of a bullet.
Richard: You think I should quit?
Martha: I think you should be honest with yourself about why you're doing this. You have written twenty-two novels before you met her, and you didn't need to spend every day in a police station in order to finish them.
Richard: It's not about the books anymore.

Richard: [shocked] You suspected him, too?
Kate: The husband? Duh.
Richard: You would really clean up at my poker game.
Kate: Right. You, James Patterson, and the rest of the Times bestseller list? No, thank you, Castle. A little too rich for my blood.
Richard: We could always make it strip poker.
Kate: Sorry, but I prefer mystery to horror.

[last lines]
Javier: That was a nice thing you guys did in there.
Richard: I just thought that after everything Greg did for her, they deserved a chance. Besides, if it were you and I in Amy's shoes, we'd still be rotting in prison.
Javier: Huh. Speak for yourself, bro. I'd escape.
Richard: What, you'd just leave me in there?
Javier: It's the law of the jungle. I gotta look out for numero uno.
Richard: Wow. Nothing like a hypothetical prison term to let you know who your friends really are.
Kate: [walking by] Don't worry, Castle. I'd get you out.
[Castle looks startled as she continues to walk away. then she turns around]
Kate: You coming?
Richard: Yeah.

[at the victim's apartment, which has been trashed, Castle picks up a framed picture of Burns with his daughter]
Richard: I think I met her. I went to a book signing of his, the one he did on the, uh, Sarajevo snipers. She was... coloring next to him while he was signing books.
Kate: He must have been a good writer for you to stand in line.
Richard: Yeah. He was.
Kate: Come on. Let's go get CSU.

Richard: You're up early. Sleep okay?
[he moves in to kiss her, but she backs away]
Kate: No, no, no. No. No.
Richard: Oh, did I snore?
Kate: Yeah, but that's not the problem.
Richard: What was?
Kate: You betrayed me.
Richard: What? How? When?
Kate: Last night. In my dreams.
Richard: [laughs] Your...
[sees she's serious]
Richard: What- That's- I- I- Which- Uh, How- What could I have possibly done that was so wrong?
Kate: You know what? Never mind. I- I don't even want to re-live it.
Richard: Well, technically, you didn't live it. You just dreamed it.
[sees her look]
Richard: That's- What- I...
[her phone rings]
Richard: Whatever I "did," I am so sorry.
Kate: It's the precinct.
Richard: Why do I feel like a murder just saved my life?

[Beckett with Castle who is recuperating in the hospital]
Richard: Hey.
Kate: Hey.
Richard: How was your weekend?
Kate: Mmm, you know. Uneventful. Yours?
Richard: Hmm. Same.
Kate: Hmm.
Richard: But at least I got to see you.

Sonia: You know, I'm glad you didn't get fat over all that guilt.
Javier: What guilt?
Sonia: For turning me in.
Javier: Why would I feel guilty about doing my job?
Sonia: Because you love me.
Javier: Loved you. Past tense. Way past. Done. Finished. Terminado.

[first lines]
Richard: Reading the paper? You are gonna lose all of your wired-teen-hyper-texting-nano-gizmo street cred.
Alexis: I'm a rebel. I kick it old school.
Richard: [referring to cup of coffee on counter] Is this...
Alexis: Cream, two sugars.
Richard: Thanks. Style section. Anything I need to know?
Alexis: The '70s are back.
Richard: Hmm. They're like the Highlander, they just won't die.
[pause]
Richard: Morning, Mother. You're dressed early.
Martha: Ah! I have class.
Richard: I believe that's a matter of some debate.
Martha: At the New School, funny man. Look, it's-it's not that I don't appreciate everything you've done, but a girl has to stand on her own two feet.
Richard: What's the class?
Alexis: "Introduction To Life Coaching". It's-It's always been my desire to make a difference, whether on stage or off. And, *I'*... have had cards made.
Richard: [stammering] That's my I... you've... It says here, I'm your client.
Martha: Well, of course you are. Haven't I been telling you what to do your whole life?
Alexis: Oh, uh, Dad, Julie Schmidt's father's back in rehab, so a spot opened to chaperone the D.C. trip.
Richard: Where is the... How did you know Julie's dad was back in rehab?
Alexis: Must be a wired-teen-hyper-nano thing. So what do you say?
Richard: Sorry, kiddo, but, uh, with you away, my chaperoning needs reside here. Or are you forgetting what happened the last time we left her alone?
Alexis: So she... had a little party.
Richard: There were lime shards embedded in the walls.
Martha: It was Cinco de Mayo.
Alexis: Exactly.
Richard: [phone rings, plays "Dracula" theme] I hear dead people.
[answers phone]
Richard: Who was murdered, and was it gruesome?

Captain: A wire?
Kate: Yes, sir. We believe our killer removed it from the victim's body after shooting him.
Captain: Do we know who he was wearing a wire for?
Kate: Well, we're checking with other branches of law enforcement right now.
Captain: What about this woman who called in the murder? Have you been able to identify her?
Kate: You know, no one in Cordero's life seems to know who she is, and we have no idea where to find her.
[while Beckett is talking, Castle sees the woman enter the precinct]
Richard: I... think she just found us.
Captain: Oh, Lord. I'd say your case just got a lot more complicated.
Kate: What is it, sir?
Captain: They're from the U.S. Attorney's Office.
Richard: You know them?
Captain: Uh, not the woman from the photo, but the woman with her is Elizabeth Weston, the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District... She also happens to be my sister.

Alexis: I know we had plans, but they really...
Richard: Not just plans. Memorial Day. The Hamptons, our annual "kick off the summer" week. I mean... I got the illegal fireworks, the kind you like. The ones with the silver starburst.
Alexis: Dad, it's Princeton.
Richard: Can't believe you would blow off illegal fireworks for a lousy head start at a top-notch education.

Kate: Sonia's dad owned at least a half a dozen businesses. Dry cleaners, car wash, a Cuban restaurant.
Richard: All high cash flow. Makes sense if he was selling off his gold bit by bit, he'd need a place to launder the money.
Kate: Well, according to the companies' bank records, the weekly receipts were pretty uniform.
Richard: Except, look at this, the dry cleaners. About three months ago, there was a spike in the weekly deposit amount. And three months before that, and before that.
Kate: Same with the restaurant.
Richard: So, he was retrieving some of the gold every three months, selling it off, and then running the proceeds through his businesses.
Kate: Hey, Ryan, where is Vikram with the GPS info from Pena's phone?
Kevin: He just sent this over. Pena stayed close to home most of the time. Except for this location.
[shows screen]
Kevin: Looks to be an outlier. He wouldn't go there often. Only once every...
Richard: Every three months?
Kevin: Exactly. And only at night.
Kate: And what's there?
Richard: It's a, uh... It's an old Con Ed storage facility. Perfect place for stashing coins.
Kate: Pena owned a transport company that subcontracts with Con Ed.
Richard: Then that's it. That's where he is.
Kate: Let's go. Once they find the gold, they're gonna make a run for it.
Richard: After they kill Espo.

[regarding the murder victim]
Kate: We gotta find out who she is and what she was doing here so late, though.
Richard: Well, she's tall, she's gorgeous... 10 pounds underweight. Her hair is fried, she's wearing too much eye makeup. She's a model.

Martha: I have to say, Katherine, it is so good to have you home.
Kate: Thank you.
Alexis: I second that motion.
Kate: Oh, thank you.
[the screeching violin of the "Psycho" theme suddenly blares]
Martha: Oh!
Kate: Lucy, what the hell? Turn it off.
Lucy: [music stops] Whoa, language, Kate. Is there a problem?
Kate: Oh, really?
[chuckles]
Kate: Well, then, let me make it up to you.
[Kate picks Lucy up and sticks her into the refrigerator]
Martha: [laughs] Isn't that a little extreme?
Kate: No. No, actually, I- I don't think so. Look, uh, this- this might sound odd, but ever since I got back, it's like Lucy's been jealous.
Alexis: She's an "it." A CPU wrapped in a plastic pyramid, she doesn't have emotions. And she certainly can't be jealous.
[the electricity goes off]
Kate: You were saying?

[first lines]
[after Castle and Meredith finish having wild sex]
Richard: [panting] That was...
Meredith: [also panting] Oh, yeah... Top 10, at least.
Richard: Maybe top 20.
Meredith: Not top 10?
Richard: Well... There was Paris... Kauai... Yankee Stadium...
Meredith: Oh, that place in the Poconos.
Richard: Yes... Mykonos... Coney Island... And then there was Staten Island.
Meredith: Oh, and the hot air balloon.
Richard: The Westminster Dog Show... that was...
Meredith: That's only nine.
Richard: The night we made Alexis.

[last lines]
Det. Ethan Slaughter: Uh-oh. You got that dumb look on your face again.
Richard: Um... I don't know. I'm just confused about Beckett.
Det. Ethan Slaughter: That makes two of us. I mean, how does a hot lady like that fall in love with a guy like you? Especially when there's a real man like me running around?
Richard: Okay, Slaughter, you know what? I'll take a lot of crap from you, but not about Beckett. It's not a joke to me.
Det. Ethan Slaughter: Just trying to get your attention, Sherlock. Look, I don't know much, but what I do know is that lady has it bad for you. And you feel the same.
Richard: Your point?
Det. Ethan Slaughter: Whatever's going on with Beckett, she shouldn't have to go through it alone.
Richard: Yes, well, I've tried. She won't let me in.
Det. Ethan Slaughter: Then quit asking permission... I lost my wife... because I wasn't man enough to put her needs ahead of mine. Don't make the same mistake.
Richard: You know what, Slaughter... for all your bluster and bravado, you are actually a wise and, dare I say, sensitive...
Det. Ethan Slaughter: Whoa! Hey! Stop right there. Only you could take two guys talking about a chick and make it weird.
Richard: Sorry.
Det. Ethan Slaughter: Yeah. Me, too. Every time.
Richard: Thank you.
Det. Ethan Slaughter: Whatever, Sherlock.

[last lines]
[Beckett leans in for a kiss]
Richard: Um... Sorry, still one minute till midnight.
Kate: Are you serious, Castle?
Richard: Yes, I'm serious. I'm not taking any chances. This is one deadline I *want* to miss.
Kate: You know, you're right. It would be a shame if something happened to us, because there's one thing on *my* bucket list that I would like to accomplish... and it involves a little trick that I do...
[shakes her drinking glass]
Kate: ... with ice.
Richard: See, now that definitely sounds worth living for.
Kate: [going into the bedroom] Hey, Castle!
Richard: [to himself] I just...
Kate: [off screen] The ice is melting.
Richard: Okay, just- I just- uh, In... three, two...
[smiles]

Alexis: I know you wanna keep me safe, but... the only way to do that is wrap me in bubble wrap and hide me in a cave.
Richard: Believe me, I've thought about it. Thing is, Alexis, there are bad people out there, who will do bad things. And, the more you expose...
Alexis: Dad, you know me. I'm careful, and smart... But... I need to live my life, my way.
Richard: All right. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna stop worrying, doesn't mean I'm gonna stop caring, or reminding you, from time to time, that you are, indeed... wrong.
Alexis: And I wouldn't want you to.

Kate: So, how was your date with your little starlet?
Richard: [frustrated] How could you tell this time?
Kate: Like I said, Castle...
[pulls a strand of hair off his blazer]
Kate: ... trained detective.

[last lines]
Richard: I can put Alexis through college on this.
Kate: Yeah, and med school.
Richard: Thank God I'm rich.

Richard: You're a fan of "Wives of Wall Street"?
Captain: Oh, yes! It's the best show on TV. Why?
Richard: I don't- I just... assumed that a woman like you would prefer more... sophisticated fare.
Captain: Excuse me? What did you just say?
[Beckett's cell phone rings and she answers it]
Kate: [on phone] Hey, Lanie. What's up?

Vikram: Did Lanie really declare a live guy dead?
Kate: No. Well, yeah, but do yourself a favor, don't mention it to her. So, you got something?
Vikram: I might have broken open LokSat.
Kate: You found them?
Vikram: Unfortunately, no, but I did find someone else. Based on Castle's discovery of the exact time and date LokSat flew into L.A., I've been scrubbing footage from all the Los Angeles area airports. Look who showed up.
[shows her an image on his tablet]
Kate: Caleb Brown?
Vikram: But he was traveling under an alias. Peter McCaffrey.
Kate: So Caleb must have gone to L.A. to meet with LokSat. Well, who's driving the SUV?
Vikram: I don't know. I can only read part of the plate. But I'm generating a list of possible matches.

Alexis: Dad, are you okay?
Richard: Yeah.
Alexis: You seem sad.
Richard: No. I'm fine.
Alexis: It's only Costa Rica. I'll be back before you know it.
Richard: Oh, that's, no that's that's sweet, but no, it's not about that. It's, uh... something your grandmother told me. Comes a point in our lives when we have to stop fooling ourselves into thinking life's gonna be the way we want it to be. Start seeing things for how they really are.

Javier: I guess nothing in life is permanent.
Kate: [approaching] Tell that to the victim.

Captain: [Esposito and Ryan bring in the corrupt prison guard] If there's anything I hate, it's a dirtbag in uniform.

[discussing the victim's wife and fiancee]
Kate: Do you think he would've gone through with it?
Richard: Through with what?
Kate: Marrying Sarah if he hadn't gotten killed.
Richard: Well... that was a pretty big *rock* he put on her finger. With the fake identity he had set up, the county clerk's office never would have flagged him as someone who was already married.
Kate: Yeah, but Sam was pretending to be Jake before he met Sarah. I don't understand the fake identity.
Richard: Maybe to land the job?
Kate: I understand fibbing on your résumé, but *changing* your identity? The math doesn't quite add up for me.
Richard: You know what math doesn't add up for me?
Kate: Hmm?
Richard: Two wives.
Kate: One wife too many for you?
Richard: Two wives too many.
Kate: Seems like the common denominator in that equation is *you*.
[Beckett walks away and Castle realizes she just insulted him]

Kate: How'd you feel about the fact that Buckley was gonna retry your case and try to make you serve the final two years of your sentence?
Norman Jessup: Honestly, lady... I cried like a baby.
Kate: Huh.
Norman Jessup: Prison is not fun, okay. I did not want to go back.

Richard: So, a Russian?
Javier: Yeah, Ivan Drago's in the house.
Kevin: I hear those guys are like automatons. Strictly business.
Richard: Well, if Boris is coming, could Natasha be far behind?
[Chuckles]
Richard: This could be trouble for the big moose and little squirrel.

Kate: Based on blood, Dr. Parish determined that our victim is a male, so we're looking for missing persons reports of men in that area.
Captain: Men? You've narrowed the victim pool down to men.
Richard: Uh, well, in New York City, that actually eliminates over 4 million *women*, so...
Captain: Mr. Castle, I don't know what the mayor sees in you, but I know how you're alike. He's term-limited.
[turns and leaves]
Richard: Maybe if I sent her...
Kate: No
Richard: ...flowers
Kate: No

Kevin: So, not only is Beau Randolph the proud owner of a Smith & Wesson .45 automatic...
Kate: Which is a large enough caliber to have created that entry wound in our victim.
Kevin: ...he also has a carry permit.
Richard: [outraged] What? *I* couldn't even get a carry permit. How did he get one?
Kevin: The hard way. Several guys saw their girlfriends in his videos and beat the hell out of him.
Richard: [turning to Beckett] No longer jealous.

Kate: Okay, Castle. What was so important that you had to cut my sparring session short?
Richard: Just that I cracked this case wide open. You know, the thought of you fighting in a ring with another woman... Strangely arousing.
Kate: Who says I was sparring with a woman?
Richard: Oh, your mystery date.
Kate: Oh, do I detect some jealousy?
Richard: Me, jealous? Ha! Double ha.
Kate: [teasing] What if I told you that my date... was with your book?
Richard: Really?
Kate: [seriously] No. God, you're easy.

[entering an apartment]
Det. Ethan Slaughter: We'll be safe here until we figure out our next move.
Richard: This can't be your place.
Det. Ethan Slaughter: Why not?
Richard: Two reasons. One, we're both fugitives, hiding in *either* of our apartments would be a terrible idea. Two, I picture your décor less "Architectural Digest", more "Guns & Ammo".

[first lines]
Renzo: Long flight?
Mathias: Endless... How much further?
Renzo: You have some time. If you want to sleep, go ahead, sir.

Javier: Deep cover? I can't believe he didn't tell me.
Kate: Espo, he didn't even tell Jenny.
Javier: Yeah, but I'm his best friend. She's just the wife.
Kate: Thus proving why there is no Mrs. Esposito.
Javier: Hey, it's hard to find a woman for this much man.

Javier: It's a winning ticket. Hard to believe a little slip of paper's worth over a hundred mil.
Richard: [more to Beckett] What would you do if you won that kind of money?
Javier: Easy. Buy a Ferrari.
Richard: I have one. Not as great as you would think.
Javier: Yeah, but they're hella fast.
Richard: Well, as fast as every other car in rush hour traffic.

Kevin: So Caleb was burned alive because LokSat found out that he switched sides and was working with you?
Kate: Yeah, and now LokSat is going after Vikram, Castle, me, anyone that knows anything about them. So I need you guys to forget everything that you just heard.
Kevin: Oh, no, I'm afraid we can't do that, boss.
Kate: You guys, LokSat took out my entire A.G. team. I'm not gonna let that happen to you.
Javier: And we're not gonna let you go to war without your two best soldiers.
Kate: Right now, there's no war to be fought. Castle and I are probably gonna have to disappear for a while, at least until we find another lead on LokSat.
Javier: Beckett, we already have one. Caleb ID'd his killer.
[shows a photo]
Javier: LokSat's right-hand man. You know what this means?
Kevin: Catching Caleb's killer will put us on a path to LokSat.

Lanie: [on ringtone] Hey, sexy. Hey, sexy. Hey, sexy. Hey, sexy. Hey, sexy.
[Ryan and Beckett look at Esposito]
Javier: [embarrassed by the ringtone, picks up his phone and chuckles nervously] Lanie must have changed my ringtone.

[after bumping into Martha and Alexis leaving Castle's office]
Hayley: Why are you lying to them?
Richard: I'm not... I'm not lying to them.
Hayley: Oh, good. So you did tell them that your anniversary was cut short when Beckett received a mystery text.
Richard: I might've left that part out.
Hayley: Oh, did you also maybe leave out the part where you asked me to come in this morning in order to *hack* Beckett's cell phone to tell you who sent her that text?
Richard: Okay, I know how that looks, but... something is going on with Beckett, and I'm- I'm worried about her.

Kate: Where were you between 11 and midnight?
Darius: Upstairs,
[chuckles]
Darius: with my girl.
Richard: Dakota?
Darius: Different girl. Kaiya.
Kate: All right, well, I'm gonna have to hold you while we look in to that.
Darius: Good. That helps my street cred. You guys are gonna do a mug shot, right? 'Cause I brought my lighting guy with me.

[first lines]
Gina: Murder... mystery... the macabre. What is it about a hard-boiled detective, a femme fatale and the cold steel of a gun that keeps our bedside lamps burning into the wee hours of the morning?

[leading Beckett to his pool]
Richard: I am sure you will find the temperature suitable, but if you would like it any warmer, I can change the temperature, or I...
[Beckett takes off her robe]
Richard: could... just... stop... talking.
[pause]
Richard: You forgot your suit.
Kate: [chuckles] I know.

Agent: Do you see yourself as a... a great hero, doing this for a... a mighty cause? You think that's how people are going to see you? Because I'll tell you right now, brother, if you let this happen, you're going to go down in history as America's greatest mass murderer. Is that what you want?
Kevin: When this bomb goes off, do you think they're going to be looking at me? People will see this as an act of terrorism, so they will be looking for a terrorist. Not a patriot. Not one of their own.
Agent: Is that what you think you are? A patriot? There is a word for people like you, it's not "patriot." It's "traitor."
Kevin: The powers that be have no use for a traitor. So when they find their terrorist, and they will find their terrorist, what do you think will happen to me?
[Fallon shrugs]
Kevin: Well, let me tell you, because I know them, I know how they think. I will become a footnote in one of your files, buried so far back no one will ever find it, because anything more would be an inconvenience to their self-serving, rabble-rousing narrative. So why don't you do us all a favor and just accept the inevitable.

[after an attempt on Vaughn's life, Ryan is taking Beckett's statement]
Richard: So, he ate the wrong entrée and avoided being poisoned, and then he stumbled... at just the right moment to avoid being shot by an assassin through a window... Nobody's that lucky... What's going on here, Kate?
Kate: He kissed me, okay, Castle?
Richard: He what?
Kevin: I think I have all I need here.
[turns and leaves]

Martha: Oh! I almost forgot to tell you. James Patterson called. He's gonna be a little late for the poker game tomorrow.
Richard: Probably wants to use the time to write another book.

Richard: [Beckett's wedding dress has been ruined] It's only a dress. It's not the end of the world.
Kate: [her voice breaking] Then why does it feel like it is? Our wedding was supposed to be magical! It was supposed to be our perfect day.
[near tears]
Kate: And now it's just... falling apart.
Richard: So we'll put it back together.
Kate: Castle, I'm married to someone else. And I have no idea where he is. We don't have any leads. And to make things worse, the venue, and then now this. I mean, it just feels like all of this is one big sign.
Richard: Well, maybe it is a sign. A sign that ours is a great love story. So what's a great love story without obstacles to overcome? Every fairy tale has them. Terrible trials that only the worthy can transcend. But you can't give up. That's the deal. We want the happy ending? We can't give up.
Kate: [she smiles, near tears again] And that's why I want to marry you.

[Lanie helping Beckett pick a dress for a charity gala]
Lanie: No,no. Uh-uh. That one goes to the Thrift store.
[Beckett sighs and tries another]
Lanie: Whoa, 'Karma Chameleon'!
[chuckles]
Kate: The girl at Saks said fluorescent is in.
Lanie: Well, then she was on commission.
[Beckett tries another]
Lanie: Uh-uh.
Kate: Too 'Showgirls'?
[Lanie nods]
Kate: You know what he's trying to do? He wants to humiliate me.
[door bell rings]
Kate: Lanie, can you get that, please?
Lanie: ll right. But you better not be wearing your prom dress when I get back.

Kate: [at the scene of Castle's car crash] It's empty. He's not here! He's not in the car!
Javier: You sure he's not in the car?
Kate: Even with a fire that hot, there'd still be a body. He's gotta be nearby.
Martha: You really think he...
Kate: He's here. He has to be. We have to start a search.
Kevin: We could use more men.
Kate: Sergeant! I'm Detective Beckett, NYPD. The man that was in that car is one of our own. We need to scrub every inch of this area.
Sgt. Taggert: I'll get my men on it.
Kevin: You have search and rescue dogs?
Sgt. Taggert: I'll call them in.

Richard: [They are about to watch the DVD] You wanna hold my hand?
Kate: Castle, I'm not scared.
Richard: Well, I wasn't asking for *you*.

Kate: [approaching Lanie and the body] OD?
Lanie: Given her lifestyle, you'd think. But this is plain old-fashioned murder. Blunt-force trauma to the back of the head. The facial lacerations probably happened with the fall.
Kate: Okay, when did this happen?
Lanie: Lividity puts it between nine and eleven last night.
Javier: Well, we can cut that time frame in half. The doorman said that the limo dropped her off at the lobby last night at ten p.m.
Kate: She was killed within an hour of returning home?
Richard: What was she doing back here?
Javier: Doorman didn't know. But he said that she uses that door sometimes when she wants to avoid the crowd.
Richard: So... maybe she was sneaking out or meeting someone?
Kevin: If so, it was probably someone she knew. Gates are locked on both sides. You need an access code to get in.
Kate: Is there any security cam footage we can pull?
Kevin: Not back here.
Richard: Ironic, seeing as how she spent her entire life in front of cameras.

Captain: So, any progress on Beckett's shooter?
Kevin: We searched the rental car. We still have no idea where he was going or even what his real name was. But we did find out what he stole from Captain Montgomery's house.
Captain: Montgomery's wedding album? Why did Maddox want this?
Kevin: I'm guessing he wanted this missing photograph. It's possible he was after whoever was in it.
Captain: Have you been able to track it down?
Kevin: Well, I've got Evelyn Montgomery bringing the negatives in, but truth is I'm a one-man band here. I could use a few more investigators.
Captain: Well, you can take it up with the Vice President. I've already lost half my people to his security detail, and about to lose the rest to traffic control. So for right now, you're on your own.

Richard: Please... you have me know, but just let her go.
Jerry: Oh, no, no, no. I can't... She's part of the plan... Yeah... Why I brought you here.
Richard: Brought me?
Jerry: You know, what I love about human beings is they're so predictable. They're like mice. You can get them to do anything. All you have to do is put a little cheese at the end of the maze... and know exactly when to shock 'em.
Richard: You knew I was coming?
Jerry: Dangling Boudreau in front of you... watching Beckett die before your eyes... Once I had the cops chasing their tails, I knew it'll only be a matter of time before you... did something on your own. Visiting my old cellie was a... Well, that was a natural choice.
Richard: This was a set-up.
Jerry: What better way to get you here alone... than to make you think it was your idea?

Richard: Maybe Erika was some kind of online Erin Brockovich, you know. A crusader for good, delving into the seedy underbelly of the legal system, in order to uncover some seamy truth.
Kate: Or maybe she was just hired by a rival firm to steal privileged information.
Richard: Now, why must you be so cynical?
Kate: It's in my job description.
Richard: Which is why you need me.

[already at the site for investigation as Beckett and McCord are just arriving]
Richard: [chuckles] Agent Beckett, Agent McCord. What are you guys doing here?
Rachel: What are you doing here?
Richard: Well, I figured since, uh, Beckett was working, I'd... I'd just get in a few rounds.
Rachel: Where are your clubs?
Richard: Crap.
Rachel: [to Beckett] Do you realize what would happen if I told the chief that he was here? *You* would be kicked off the team.
[to Castle]
Rachel: Not to mention obstruction charges against you. This is my one and only warning. The next time I see you, it better be on a book jacket.
[leaves]
Richard: [to Beckett] Wow... Okay, she is not invited to the wedding.

Kate: [to Castle] Wow! you nailed playing yourself? That's impressive.

Alexis: Dad, we need to talk.
Richard: Which of these do you like better?
[holds up two different Nikki Heat covers]
Alexis: Dad, I'm serious.
Richard: I like the green one, but it kinda of looks like a giant green lizard is attacking the city. Which is cool, but it's not what the book's about. So I either rewrite the book to make it about a giant lizard, or...
Alexis: Dad?
Richard: Magenta. You're right. It's classic, it's cool, it tells the story.

Kevin: Castle, how's the knee?
Richard: It's not the knee so much as the *boredom*.
Javier: I thought you writers liked being alone.
Richard: Yeah, if I could write. But the painkillers make me a little loopy. Last night, I used the word 'speculate' three times in the same sentence.
[Ryan sees a pair of binoculars and looks through them]
Kevin: Hmm. You *must* be bored. You've actually gone "Rear Window".
Richard: Alexis got me those as a joke to cheer me up. I have not *yet* resorted to voyeurism.
Kevin: Then you are missing out.
[whistles]
Javier: What? Let me see.
[they fight over the binoculars]
Kevin: No. Hey!
Javier: Give me the binoculars!
Kevin: Dude, she was just about to take off her towel.
Javier: [using binoculars] Oh, the towel's off.
Kevin: Yeah?
Kate: [comes up behind them] Unless the body that you're looking at is dead, I suggest you drop those binoculars.

Javier: *So*, I opened Lars' safe-deposit box and found 400 G's in cash. Gots to be drug money. Beat that.
Kevin: Easy. I got Lars' encrypted laptop from Mark, found out what he was smuggling, and it wasn't drugs.
Javier: What?
Richard: No... Lars wasn't a drug dealer... he was a tomb raider. Ryan, can you zoom in on that, please?
[Ryan zooms in on a picture]
Richard: I've seen that symbol... Yes, um... At Lars' apartment. You remember there was all those books on "1001 Arabian Nights"? I think that symbol was on one of the books. Yes. Here it is... The Seal of Solomon.
[reading]
Richard: "The Seal of Solomon was believed to be imbued with mystical *powers*, including the ability to seal genies into lamps. In the tale of 'Aladdin and the Magic Lamp', Aladdin finds a lamp containing a genie in a cave. Many people believe this cave was actually King Solomon's tomb, which is most likely located near the border of Syria and Turkey." You guys, you know what this means?
Kate: [under her breath] Oh. Please, no.
Richard: Come on. The money, the Porsche. Lars wished for them, and his wishes were granted...
Kate: And here we go.
Richard: ...by a genie... Lars found Aladdin's lamp!

Richard: So, how's Ryan holding up?
Javier: Three days after my last tour in Iraq, I'm at a diner with friends. A car backfires; my friends look around, I'm under the table. Ryan's just waiting for the next hit.

Alexis: You know, if you're going to keep secrets from me, I might start keeping secrets from you, too.
Richard: At your age, I'm thinking that might be a good idea.

Richard: Thank you.
Kate: For what?
Richard: For using "irony" correctly. Ever since that Alanis Morissette song, people use it when they actually mean "coincidence". It drives me nuts.

Hank: Charlie was a great kid, a real pro. Working with him reminded me of the pictures I did with Pacino.
Richard: You worked with Al Pacino?
Hank: Barry Pacino. No relation. Every bit as talented. And taller.
Richard: If you have such a high opinion of Charlie, how come you're already replacing him?
Hank: Look, you gotta understand, there's a lot of money at stake here. The show must go on.
Richard: Ah! I've been there. My book, "Naked Heat", got made into a movie a few years back.
Hank: Didn't that go straight to DVD?
Richard: There were script issues. And... casting issues and directing issues.

[first lines]
[Beckett arriving at a crime scene to find Castle with a dog]
Kate: On one knee?
Richard: That's a good girl.
Kate: What's up, Castle? You proposing?
Richard: Oh, no. Just waiting for you.
Kate: That's too bad. You two make a cute couple.

Kate: I don't know, Castle, maybe we're being too ambitious. Well, maybe we should consider the spring of next year.
Richard: I thought you didn't wanna wait that long?
Kate: Nah, I just... I want to be flexible.
Richard: You already are flexible.
[laughs]
Richard: You see what I did there?
Javier: [approaching] What's so funny?
Richard: Well, actually, did you know Beckett can lift her...
Kate: [interrupting] No. Nothing. Hello? Nothing.
Richard: I'll tell you later.

[everyone is looking up at Lanie with a body in a tree]
Richard: It's raining men.
Lanie: Castle, what are you doing here?
Kate: Don't worry. We're still mad at him.
Kevin: [to Esposito] A guy in a tree, Mom and Dad bickering. Seems like old times.

Kate: That's it. Esposito's confirmed it. The number that Melanie was calling was Senator Bracken's cell phone.
Richard: Late night phone calls, secret hotel meetings. Bracken was having an affair with Melanie. She must've become a liability.
Kate: Or she stumbled onto something that he was involved in and became a threat.
Richard: So he dealt with her, the same way he dealt with your mother and tried to deal with you.
Kate: This is it, Castle. This is my chance to finally make him pay.
Richard: Yeah, but we have to be cautious. We know what happens to people who go after him.
Kate: Except this time he doesn't know we're onto him. We've got the advantage here.
Richard: Do we? What do you think he's gonna do when he sees you coming?

Captain: Is that our vic's wife?
Kate: Fiancée.
Richard: The wife is over there.
Captain: Come again?
Kate: [she and Castle nod their heads one way] Fiancée.
Captain: Mm-hmm.
Kate: [she and Castle nod their heads the other way] Wife.
Captain: Mmm... Oh, boy.
Richard: [excited whisper] I know. Isn't it delicious?

Kate: It's been a long time.
Michael: What the hell are you doing here?
Kate: Sorry to shake your snow globe, but you helped me once, when I was being framed for Vulcan Simmons' murder, and I need your help again.
Michael: Forget it. I paid all my debts.
Kate: [shows a picture] This man killed an Assistant AG connected to Bracken's dirty money scheme.
Michael: I don't know him.
Kate: He works for Bracken's partner. Some... mystery man or woman deep inside the CIA.
Michael: Why can't you just leave this alone?
Kate: I wasn't built that way.
Michael: Look, I've got a good thing here. A woman who loves me. A new life. I'm happy. You could be, too. You just have to let it go.
Kate: I can't.
Michael: What makes you think the drug shipments stopped with Vulcan Simmons' death? Every narcotic has a signature, a fingerprint, if you will. You find his, pick up the trail.
Kate: Thank you.
Michael: Don't. You're gonna get yourself killed.

Kate: Wow. Sounds like that money really turned Hixton into a different person for a little while.
Richard: Yeah, money doesn't change who you are. It just... magnifies your personality.
Javier: Well, it wasn't all bad. He also bought a house for the clerk that sold him the winning ticket, a mausoleum for his dead neighbor, and... three acres on the moon.
Richard: Get out of town. He's right down the crater from me.
Kate: Why doesn't it surprise me that you have property on the moon?
Richard: You know what, laugh it up. When the earth is a desiccated husk, you will be begging to come live with me in the Nectaris Basin.

Richard: [answering phone] Hello?
Alexis: Hey, Dad, where are you?
Richard: Where am I supposed to be?
Alexis: Fire ants? Eyeballs?
Richard: [remembering his book signing] Right. Uh... stall for me. I'm on my way.

Kate: Roy, I am over it. I mean it. I want him gone.
Captain: Okay, he's gone.
Kate: What?
Captain: You want Castle gone, he's gone.
Kate: I... What... what about the mayor?
Captain: [laughs] This is my house, Kate. The mayor doesn't call the shots here, I do. You ought to know that by now.
Kate: But, I...
Captain: I could've kicked Castle to the curb years ago, any time I wanted to. The only reason I kept him around this long was 'cause I saw how good he was for you. Kate, you're the best that I've ever trained, maybe the best I've ever seen. But you weren't having any fun before he came along. We speak for the dead. That's the job. We are all they've got once the wicked rob them of their voices. We owe them that. But we don't owe them our lives.
Kate: He said that we can't win this.
Captain: He's right. I've spent most of my life walking behind this badge, and I can tell you this for a fact: there are no victories. There's only the battle. And the best that you could hope for is that you find some place where you can make your stand. If this is your spot, I will stand with you.

Kate: Was there money on the body?
Javier: Not on the body, not in the cab. Everything points to him being popped for cash and car parts.
Lanie: Not everything, baby.
Kate: [whispering] Did you just call him "baby?"
Lanie: Ooh. Did I?

Howard: You think I was having an affair with Sara?
Richard: Bingo.
Howard: That is... That's crazy.
Kate: Is it? We know that she stayed late some nights.
Howard: Right. She helped us make dinner.
Kate: Us? Well, what we heard was that she helped on the nights that your wife wasn't home.
Howard: [realizing he's been caught] First of all, it's not what you think.
Richard: [sarcastic] When is it ever?
Howard: And, yes, I was having an affair.
Kate: So what happened?
Howard: What do you mean, what happened? I cheated. I strayed. Whatever you want to call it.
Kate: I mean in the laundry room.
Howard: What?
Kate: You just said that you...
Howard: Yes, I was having an affair, but it wasn't with *Sara*, for God sakes. It was with another woman in my office.

Richard: Emma, I can't help you if you're not honest with me.

[first lines]
Announcer: Welcome to 'A Night of Dance', America's favorite dance competition with your host, Brad Melville!

[first lines]
Martha: 297 wedding guests. It's a minor miracle, our final total is below 300.
Richard: There. I am done. Five hundred autographed copies of "Wild Storm". My pre-wedding signing obligations are finished.
Alexis: Good. Now sign this.
Richard: What's this one?
Alexis: Final payment for the rooftop venue.
Richard: You mean the perfect venue. A 360-degree view of Manhattan. The stars above us, the world at our feet. It's too bad Beckett didn't want to bungee jump off the side of the building for our big exit. Now, that would have been cool.
Alexis: The tuxes will be in tomorrow evening. Did you tell Esposito and Ryan?
Richard: I did. They will be here to try them on and to collect them. You are the most adorable best man a groom could hope for.
[front door buzzes]
Martha: Ah, probably the concierge with more gifts.
[opens door]
Martha: Ah, hi, Gerard. Put them over there with the others. Thank you.
Richard: All right. I'm out.
[walks out of the apartment]
Martha: Bye.
Alexis: Dad! Don't forget the forms for the marriage license.
[Alexis holds out the paperwork; Castle's hand appears from the corridor and snatches it]

Richard: Well, at least it's not a total loss. Now that the police know that Vulcan Simmons is Lazarus, they'll be watching him. He will not be able to rebuild his operation.
Kate: He's not Lazarus. If he was, then I would be dead. Vulcan Simmons is just a figurehead. Someone else is behind this, someone higher up, someone who wanted me alive.
Richard: Who?
Kate: It's someone bigger.

[after interviewing Sam Spear who was writing new music for James Swan, the victim]
Richard: Taking the music in a new direction but he didn't want the rest of the band to know... Of course. Swan was going solo.
Javier: Makes sense. The director said that Swan was the creative force behind the group, that if he left the band they would flounder.
Richard: What if one of the other members found out and confronted him?
Javier: They argued, and things got ugly.
Richard: Right. He wasn't about to stay. And they weren't about to let him play George Michael to their Andrew Ridgeley.
Javier: Andrew who?
Richard: Exactly. So they pick up a guitar
[to camera]
Richard: and wham!
[Sam plays a dramatic chord to emphasize Castle's point. Castle and Esposito look over at him]
Sam: It's what I do.
Richard: [to Esposito] That's not bad.
Javier: It gives it weight.

Richard: [Beckett's training officer has been murdered] Come on, Kate. You don't want to remember him like this.
Kate: Castle, if it was me lying there, would you just walk away?

Kate: Why didn't he ask me for something?
Captain: What?
Kate: Sir... he gave me twenty minutes and he didn't ask for anything in return. If he wanted to maintain control, he would have *asked* for something. I mean, this is all way too easy.
Captain: Take the win, detective.
Kate: No, sir, something is going on, we're just not asking the right questions.

Finn: Serena. Why you been such a stranger? You don't love me no more?
Serena: Ah, Finn, I've been busy.
Finn: Busy with what? Jason Bateman over here?
Richard: Hey, that got me out of a speeding ticket once.

[on phone with Ryan and Esposito about the diamond]
Kate: Is it possible it's an heirloom passed down through generations and that's why there's no record of it?
Javier: Nah, Peters said that old-school cutters fashioned diamonds with sharp edges. This one has smooth edges, which means it had to be cut within the last few decades.
Kevin: And no customs declaration means it was smuggled in, probably from the country where it was mined.
Captain: Were we able to connect any of Alice's clients to the diamond?
Kate: We're still going through them, but no, not yet.
Kevin: Peters said he also found some glue residue on the stone, which suggests it was set in a piece of jewelry.
Richard: For engaged men everywhere, I can only hope it wasn't a ring.

Kevin: I could really use a genie right now. I would wish that my kid was already born and sleeping through the night.
Javier: Bro, fatherhood has made you so damn boring. If I had a wish, I'd use it to become the top MMA fighter in the world, and take home a different hot chick every single night.
Kevin: Okay, now that I think about it... I would wish... that I could be a Broadway star. Play Jean Valjean in front of sold-out crowds, win a bunch of Tonys.
Javier: You'd wish to wear tights and sing showtunes for a living?
Kevin: You'd wish to wear Speedos and grapple sweaty men for a living?
Javier: And hook up with a different hot chick every single night. Don't forget that part.
Kate: [approaching] You know what I wish? That my detectives would actually get some work done for a living. While the two of you were on Fantasy Island, *I* found a lead.

[observing the victim who is only wearing underwear]
Richard: Hey... I have those boxers. It's Thomas Nash. Very pricey British brand. Amazingly soft. They're silk.
[Beckett and Lanie give him strange looks]
Richard: Just saying, he was probably... very comfortable when he was shot... and killed.

[Castle is discussing the situation with Beckett with Lucy, his home AI]
Lucy: I thought you said lying was wrong.
Richard: I did. It is. But... she thought she was protecting me.
Lucy: Okay, so does that mean you could forgive her?
Richard: I don't know... Maybe.
Lucy: Yeah, don't take this the wrong way, Rick, but you don't make any sense.
Richard: Well, that's because I'm in love. But you... wouldn't understand that.
Lucy: So why are you talking to me about it?
Richard: Touché.

Kate: [to Paul Cho] Call that number and tell him to bring one of his girls over.
Richard: And tell her to wear something sexy.
[Backett gives him a look]
Richard: No reason we can't enjoy this interview.

Det. Ethan Slaughter: You're a good kid, Louis. Too good to be rotting in a cell for a few bonehead decisions. So from now on, I'm gonna personally see to it that you got someone looking out for you. That you got a cool role model.
Louis: You mean Mr. Castle?
Det. Ethan Slaughter: No... Me.

Dr. Marion Baker: Well, the story of "Aladdin and the Magic Lamp" is a romantic metaphor, nothing more.
Richard: Of course, but what if, and I- and I'm only saying, what if, the legend of genies were based in fact?
Dr. Marion Baker: Well, I certainly hope it isn't. Genies are frightful creatures.
Richard: You're saying they're not the cheery '60s housewives or singing blue cartoons?

[Castle, Beckett having dinner with his mother and her father]
Martha: In celebration of our *finally* getting together for dinner, I have made a very special dessert.
Kate: Martha, that looks incredible!
Martha: It's to die for. Literally. I call it "Death by Chocolate."
Richard: Now, given your baking experience, is that a prediction?

Kate: [reading newspaper] Castle?
Richard: Hmm.
Kate: [sighs] Should I be worried about your commitment to our engagement?
Richard: [pause] No. why?
Kate: 'Cause it says right here that you're getting back together with your ex-wife.
Richard: What?
Kate: [handing him the paper] Right here, page six.
Richard: [reading] "Castle caught cuddling with ex-wife publisher". No, no. This was a *business* lunch. We were discussing Heat and Storm books.
Kate: Oh, so, um, you weren't...
[reading]
Kate: "gazing lovingly into her eyes"?
Richard: She had spinach in her teeth! That's just... Okay. I don't... See, this wouldn't happen if you just let me announce our engagement.
Kate: We already talked about this. Everyone that's important to us already knows.
Richard: Yes, and just because I'm a public figure doesn't mean you need to be one, too. I know.
Kate: Exactly.
Richard: [handing the paper back] Well, so long as you don't mind this sort of thing happening.
Kate: I don't. 'Cause it's not true. And it only gives me more material to torture you with.
Richard: Mmm, and the student becomes the master.

[first lines]
[during a dance rehearsal]
Bobby: [coming on stage] Huh?
Felix: Okay, cue the chandelier.

Richard: It was all a fake?... Nothing was real. You... You let me think I was crazy? You let me think you were gonna die!
Kate: Yeah, but, Castle, you were so bored over the past couple of weeks, stuck... at home with no case to solve, and I saw that this apartment was for rent, and I just- I thought that...
Martha: Richard.
Richard: No... No... This is... without a doubt... the *greatest birthday gift of my life*!

[the killer is fending off Beckett by holding a gun to Castle and dragging him away]
Kate: Castle, you okay?
Richard: Yes, except this psycho here needs a breath mint.

Kate: Dino is playing you.
Richard: Mobsters get arrested. It-It's a cost of doing business. Dino knows that. So why go through the trouble of asking me to look into it unless Christopher was innocent?
Kate: Firstly, he didn't exactly ask you. And secondly, he just wants his number two back.
Richard: Well, there's more to it than that.
[Castle shows her the cut on his palm]
Richard: Omerta. We made the blood oath. It was not my idea, and I did not have a choice.
Kate: So you believe Dino because he gave you a paper cut?

[last lines]
Kate: So, how did your date go?
Richard: She was kind of boring. Didn't talk much. Mr. July?
Kate: A little self-absorbed.
Richard: Looked it.
Kate: Really?
Richard: I can tell... Some people just don't know to behave on a date.
Kate: *Especially* on a first date.
Richard: Exactly.

Richard: What's wrong?
Kate: I tried Information, our database. They even did an Internet search, and it's like these guys don't even exist.
Richard: Who?
Kate: Fastwater Global Services.
Richard: Ah! See? I told you. CIA cover.
[Beckett gives him a look]
Richard: No, I mean they probably just don't like to advertise.
Kate: Yeah, well, I thought so, as well. So I checked their address, 1747 West 43rd Street. It's in the middle of the Hudson River.

Javier: I just got off the phone with an assistant AG in D.C., an Allison Hyde. She's leading the investigation into the deaths of her people. She's up on the first plane in the morning to take our hitter into federal custody.
Richard: Does she have any idea of this Vikram guy's connection to Beckett?
Javier: No, but she's pulling his records.
Richard: So we're nowhere.

[last lines]
Martha: Don't wait up for me, kids. Mama's on the *prowl*.
[leaves for her date]
Richard: Oh, that poor bastard.
Alexis: [sighs] Is insanity inherited?

[Castle dislikes the actress playing Nikki Heat]
Richard: Nikki Heat... is classy, she's complicated. She's a... thinking man's cop.
Kate: No, we can't judge a book by its cover.
Richard: Yes, actually. Yes, I can, when it's my book.

Richard: [on phone] That's not what we agreed to. You were supposed to grab Vikram and then come straight here.
Kate: I- I know, but that was before the guys were brought in on this and before we got actionable evidence on LokSat. I can't leave now.
Richard: Well, then I'm coming down there.
Kate: Uh, no, no, absolutely not. You can't risk coming out in the open.
Richard: And you can't risk staying in the open.
Kate: Castle, I am in one of the safest buildings in the city, a police station. A- A- And better yet, my police station, with my cops... Nothing's gonna happen to me while I'm here.

[last lines]
Jenny: Kevin! You're alive.
Lanie: [to Esposito] Javi!
[Runs to hug him]
Lanie: Thank God.
[Ryan climbs in the ambulance and kisses Jenny as Castle and Beckett hug]
Kevin: [gasps when he sees his baby daughter] You're both beautiful.
Jenny: Kevin, I'd like you to meet Sarah Grace.

Richard: You mean, this whole time, you knew? Who the hell are you?
Hayley: I'm... Hayley. I didn't lie about that. Technically, I didn't lie about anything. I... misrepresented, sure, but I- I didn't lie.
Richard: But why?
Hayley: Because a year and half ago, you asked me to. In fact, you begged.
Richard: I don't understand.
Hayley: So, ages ago, I did some freelance work for MI-6. And I met an American... spy on an Op. He was an older gentleman. Very handsome. Smart as a whip.
Richard: My father.
Hayley: Jackson Hunt. Year and a half ago, he calls me. Asks me to keep an eye out on you, here in L.A. Said you were sticking your nose where it didn't belong.
Richard: What did he say I was doing?
Hayley: [sighs] I didn't ask, he didn't say. But I do know that after your two weeks in Thailand, your undercover mission for the CIA was over. And you were supposed to go home. But, instead, you went rogue and you came to L.A. To keep tabs on you, I borrowed a GPS tracker from a friend of mine, Malcolm, and I placed it...
Richard: In my watch. That was you.
Hayley: Yeah, only you left it in that Korean restaurant. So, I lost track of you. By the time I found you, you'd been shot in the side.
Richard: Who shot me?
Hayley: You wouldn't say. You did... mention your CIA handler, a guy named Jenkins. And you said that you were going to go and ask him to erase everything that had happened to you here.
Richard: But that doesn't sound like *me*. I am... curious by nature. Why would I do that?
Hayley: I have no clue, but you were adamant. And you made me promise that... if I ever met you again, I'd never say any of this.
Richard: Well, that doesn't explain why you stuck around. why you agreed to come work with me.
Hayley: I'm fond of you, Rick. And I adore your daughter. And after a lifetime of caring about nobody but myself, I decided to stick around and keep an eye on you two.
Richard: It's like a Philip K. Dick novel. Wish I could go back in time, tell myself not to erase my memories.
Hayley: Or... you could trust that you did it with good reason. Maybe just let your lost time go. Because if you keep looking, if you keep searching for that answer, well... there's no telling what kind of hell you'll unleash.

[last lines]
Richard: You know, Beckett, we've kissed in six different countries.
Kate: Really, you're keeping count?
Richard: You're not? Anyway... One country we haven't kissed in is Russia. And technically, right now we are on Russian soil.
Kate: Mmm. You know, there is one other thing that we've done in six different countries.
[in Russian]
Kate: Idi syuda kroshka.
Richard: What does that mean?
Kate: [in English] It means, "Follow me and find out."
Richard: [speaking into his phone] Find a Russian translation app.
[hurries after her]

Richard: I found this in the archives from his first run for office. See, Horn wasn't wealthy, but his wife came from money. She tapped into her family trust to finance his first campaign.
Kate: All this time we thought that Horn was hiding his affair from his wife.
Richard: Yeah. But what if she knew about the affair? What if he got the blackmail money from her?

Kate: It's really a kind of a psychopathy. To be so cold that you can look someone in the eye, tell them that you love them, and then rob them blind without the slightest remorse.
Richard: Whoa, I just flashed back to the eighth grade. Sherry Ort. Broke my heart, stole my lunch money.
Kate: [her phone rings] Beckett.
Richard: Then she laughed about it with her friends.

[first lines]
Richard: What are you doing to my desk?
Kate: Oh. Uh, well, Gates is on vacation. So, I figured, why not do my paperwork from home with my husband? That is... if you want to play hooky with me.
Richard: Is it technically playing hooky if we're working?
Kate: Well, we could work for bit and then, maybe... take a nap?
Richard: Ooh. I like naps.
Kate: Yeah, naps are good.

Kate: You told Alexis?
Richard: I didn't want to. Mother used her Jedi mind tricks on me.
Kate: She knows, too? Castle, do they realize what's at stake here? Because if Alexis tells Lanie...
Richard: Alexis won't tell Lanie.
Kate: Lanie's gonna tell Esposito. Esposito can't keep his mouth shut with Ryan, and Ryan's gonna blow it out of proportion. And then Gates is gonna find out, and we won't be able to work together anymore.
Richard: Trust me, she knows what's at stake. And our secret is safe.

Kyra: It-It's Kate, right?
Kate: Yeah.
Kyra: I feel like I know you a little. From Nikki Heat. The dedication.
Kate: Oh.
Kyra: I still read all of Rick's books.
Kate: Yeah, well, most of that book is just a result of Castle's overactive imagination.
Kyra: It's funny that you call him that... "Castle." When I knew him, he was just... "Rick," fresh off his first best-seller... Well, overactive imagination or not, I know he only dedicates his books to people he really cares for.

[last lines]
Richard: I could promise you this. If two people believe in something, really believe, anything, even the impossible, is possible.
Alexis: [reaching for the remote] Even flesh-eating zombies?
Richard: Oh, especially flesh-eating zombies. Now, where were we?
Alexis: Yeah, right there.

Richard: Twin girls are born and put up for adoption. Odette goes to a wealthy, loving family, Barbra, not so lucky. She gets bounced around from one foster home to the next, always knowing, deep inside, that she was meant for something better. Then, one day, the two of them meet on a train bound for Miami. The connection is instantaneous. In two days they learn everything there is to know about each other. And Barbra can't help but think, "If only I had landed in the lap of luxury like Odette, I could have been anything I wanted to be."
Kate: Are you suggesting that Barbra purposefully caused the derailment to take over Odette's life? With what? Her crazy Wiccan powers?
Richard: [excited] Oh... Wow! That would be an incredible twist! But no. No. The accident happens, Odette is killed, Barbra survives. And in the midst of all the chaos and rubble, she sees her chance. She switches identification with Odette, and she changes her destiny. In one move, Barbra builds herself a better future. A perfect life.
Kate: Until she was murdered a year later.
Richard: Yeah, well, separated twin stories never end happily.
[pause]
Richard: Except 'The Parent Trap'.

[during a struggle for Emma's gun, Castle is shot in his vest]
Richard: Wow, it worked!
[looking down at where the bullet impacted]
Richard: She dotted the "I"!
Kate: Yes!
[relieved he's okay, she hugs him tightly]
Richard: Ahh! Chest. Ooh! That hurts.
Kate: [letting him go] All right. Yeah, well, getting hit by a projectile traveling at a thousand feet per second's gonna... sting a bit.
Richard: Yeah, I think that's gonna leave a mark.
Kate: All that matters is you're okay now.
Richard: Oh, I'm better than okay, Beckett. I know who the killer is.

Kate: Kirby Smith, you're under arrest for the murders of Wendell and Wendy Dupree. And I am sure that the State of Pennsylvania will be adding two counts of vehicular manslaughter to that.

Alexis: What really went on in Thailand, Dad? I know you must have a theory.
Richard: Uh... believe me, I have dozens.
Alexis: Which one scares you the most?
[Castle gives her a look]
Alexis: I don't need you to protect me. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm not afraid to hear the truth.
Richard: That's right. You aren't, are you?
Alexis: Why not let me in?
Richard: I wanted to forget everything. So in my darkest moments, I wonder if I... did something terrible.
Alexis: I know you. You would never do anything bad.
Richard: I could never leave the love of my life, desert her and you for two months... And somehow I did.

Kevin: [Escorting witnesses dressed as zombies out of the interrogation room] Alright, ladies, thanks for your help.
Javier: [Gesturing to one woman] Don't know about those shoes with that top. I'm just sayin'. I woulda went open toed.

[Beckett and Castle in the morgue with what they think is the murder weapon]
Lanie: That's not it.
Kate: You didn't even look.
Lanie: Sure I did. It's a stiletto, four-inch Damascus blade, and it's way too small to make these wounds.
Richard: Well, maybe he used a different knife.
Lanie: Just how tall is this Trucho?
Kate: He's, um... 5'6".
Richard: Standing on his toes.
Lanie: Then he's not your guy. Thrust angle on these wounds indicate Coonan's killer was over six-foot.
Richard: Well, maybe instead of using a stiletto, he was wearing stilettos.

Kate: There's been a murder in a church downtown.
Richard: Ohh. Too bad it wasn't in a cathedral. That would be so T.S. Eliot. Huh? "Murder in the Cathedral"? Thomas Becket? Becket and Beckett?
Kate: Come on.
Richard: Nothing? Anyone?

Bruce: You know, whores used to have street corners... and now they have websites.

[after a fight with Beckett, Castle is coldly indifferent when she shows up at the loft]
Richard: Beckett, what do you want?
Kate: You.
[entering the apartment, she cups his face and kisses him]
Kate: [whispering] I'm so sorry, Castle... I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry.
[she kisses him again; he pushes her away, his indifference turning to genuine concern]
Richard: What happened?
Kate: He got away, and I didn't care. I almost died... and all I could think about was you. I just want you.

[trying to unlock a stolen cellphone]
Richard: I got it!
Leo: You got it? How?
Richard: All I had to do was get inside the mind of the owner of the phone. She drives a Mini, right? Tried that. Nada. Look at the back of the case. Hearts. Tried "love." Still no. But, look at the lock screen.
[shows the phone's screen with a picture of a cat]
Leo: What?
Kate: The password's the cat's name.
Richard: Exactly!
Leo: So what's the cat's name?
Kate: He doesn't know.
Richard: I don't know. But, as soon as we figure it out, we're golden.

Kevin: Man, I hate walls of crazy.

[Castle, Beckett, and Ryan are huddled together in the break room]
Javier: What are you guys doing?
Kevin: Hiding from creepy Beckett.

[first lines]
Martha: Hello, my darlings, how is everyone today? In good voice, I trust?

Kate: So, you wanna go for a victory lap and grab a burger?
Richard: Whoa! Can't. Gotta go. Big date.
Kate: You're kidding, right? You're going out with Ellie Monroe even though you know the only reason that she was interested in you was for a part? Have you lost all sense of human decency and self-resp...
[Castle smirks, and she trails off]
Kate: What?
Richard: My big date... is with Alexis. She's getting back from her trip.
Kate: Oh.

Richard: Who are you? Obviously you're not some happy-go-lucky Diplomatic Security Agent.
Vasiliy: You remember Arnold Schwarzengger in the movie "Red Heat", yes?
[Castle nods]
Vasiliy: Compared to me, his character is like weak, non-violent child.

[quoting Castle's excuse for getting caught investigating her case]
Kate: "Get in a few *rounds*"?
Richard: What did you want me to say? That you accidentally left out your evidence photo of the blown transformer?
Kate: Castle, you went through my classified photos? What the hell were you doing?
Richard: I was trying to help... I didn't think I'd get caught.
Kate: Yeah, well, you did.

Richard: $30 thousand. That's a little more than the Cabots needed for their lawsuit. Maybe our Santa is Robin Hood, stealing from the rich to give to the poor?
Kate: Yeah, but why would he use a helicopter to steal *this*? I mean, he could've just stuffed it in his sack and ho-ho-ho'd out of there. It *has* to be about more than just the clock.
Richard: Well, there were a couple more clocks on his workbench. Maybe this one's significant somehow.
Kate: Okay. What's your theory?
Richard: Uh... Treasure map inside. No... No. The clock was commissioned by a secret society to count down the end of days. A secret society of Santas who are the guardians of time.
[laughs]
Richard: Oh, that's good.

Richard: [seeing a wedding invitation on the kitchen counter] "Ms. Katherine Beckett"? What's this?
Kate: Oh, an ex is getting married. Do you remember Will Sorenson?
Richard: Your old FBI squeeze?
Kate: Yeah.
Richard: Oh, man, you're so lucky I came along and saved you from that life.
Kate: Wait, you "saved" me?
Richard: Come on. Even you have to admit he was boring. Like... C-SPAN boring.
Kate: You know, what makes you think that I would be with Sorenson if you hadn't come along?
Richard: All right. Where would you be?
Kate: If you weren't around to distract me?
Richard: Yeah.
Kate: Um, I would probably be... captain of my own precinct.
Richard: Wow.
Kate: Yeah.
Richard: Okay. Had I not been bewitched by you, I think by now I'd be working on my second Pulitzer.
Kate: So we're bad for each other, huh?
Richard: The worst.
Kate: [they kiss] I guess we'd both be better off if we never met.

Lindsey: [ending a phone call] That was a friend of mine from the D.A.'s office. And it, uh, it turns out someone is trying to get a warrant for my client log. And, oh yeah, it's your wife.
Richard: [chuckles] Really? That is a crazy coincidence.

[Castle is the prime suspect in a murder]
Kate: You guys, when you look through Castle's phone records...
Javier: It's okay... We know.
Kevin: We won't tell Gates unless we have to.
Kate: You know?... How?
Javier: [scoffs] I mean, it's us. So...
Kevin: We didn't say anything because we figured it was nobody's business. But we gotta ask... were you with him that night?
Kate: No. uh... He, uh... I-I was supposed to be. His, uh, mom was out of town, and then he said that he, needed, time, to write.

[last lines]
Richard: Ashley. What are you doing here?
Ashley: Hey, Mr. Castle.
Alexis: Hey, Dad, guess what?
Alexis: What?
Alexis: I'm going to Stanford!
Richard: [startled] What?
Alexis: I'm applying for early admission. And since I've been taking extra classes each semester since my freshman year, I have enough credits to graduate in the fall.
Richard: [in shock] What?
Alexis: Yeah. This way, Ash and I will be together in January. In college!
Richard: [in disbelief] What?
Ashley: That was actually her idea, sir.
Richard: [long pause, in despair] What?

Special: Nikki Heat, I presume.
Kate: It's Beckett. Detective Kate Beckett.
Special: Yeah, I read all about you in "Cosmo". And you must be the celebrity writer tag-along, Richard Castle. Special Agent Jordan Shaw.
Richard: Jordan, Jordan Shaw? The same Jordan Shaw that broke the Hudson Valley Strangler case back in 1991?
Special: I also play a mean game of Scrabble. Now that we all know each other, I'd like to see the body.
Kate: Agent Shaw, my people have already secured the area. CSU is on the scene, and we are canvassing the park, so as happy as I am to see the cavalry, there's really not much left here for you to do.
Special: Detective, the gods in the marble halls have sent me here to catch a killer, which I will do with or without your help. Okay? Now, can I see the body?
Richard: That is so going in the movie. Can you say that again, but start from "marble halls"?

[last lines]
Richard: [having broken up with Gina] Hey, I wanted to say thanks for, um... not mentioning that article or asking what was going on.
[they get onto the elevator; Beckett magically conjures a bouquet of flowers]
Kate: Not a problem.
[she hands them over as the elevator doors close]

Kate: Castle.
Richard: Hmm.
Kate: Hey.
Richard: Hi. I had the strangest dream and you were there.
Martha: Oh, thank God!
Alexis: Hi, dad.
Richard: And you were there. And you were there.
Pi: Hey, Mr. C. I did some healing Reiki on you. Looks like it worked.
Richard: [unenthused] And you were there.

Richard: Hey, Ryan, what would you do if you won the lottery?
Kevin: Winery.
Richard: [to Beckett] See? Everyone thinks about it.
Captain: [approaching] Everybody thinks about what?
Richard: What they would do if they won the lottery.
Captain: A big-ass boat, 60-footer. Monster spinnaker hanging off the bow, two deep-sea rods hanging off the stern.
Richard: Sweet.
Kate: Okay, while you guys are fantasizing about the size of your rods, I'm gonna go and interrogate our suspect.

Kevin: Hey, Espo. Guess who the last person our victim called was?
Javier: Do you know how hard it is for me to not say "your mama" right now?

Alexis: Doesn't it bother you that you don't know who your dad is?
Richard: No. Why, does it bother you?
Alexis: It's like... I have this family tree, and there's a whole *chunk* of it missing. There's a whole part of my history that doesn't even exist. I mean, really, how could Gram not know?
Richard: My first year of college, I, uh, went to a party, met this girl Alison. In the space of six hours we met, we talked, we danced, we fell in love. Next morning she was gone. I spent a year trying to find her, but I never learned her last name. There's not a week that goes by I don't think about her. Your Gram told me that she loved a lifetime the night she met him.
Alexis: Don't you feel like you're missing out, not knowing?
Richard: No! Oh, no, that's the beauty of the mystery. Right now, my father could be an astronaut, a pirate, a humanitarian, winner of the Nobel Prize. I mean, what one man could live up to all that?

Kate: This has all the makings of a sex crime, but there's no sex involved.

Alexis: Too bad you can't go to the shower.
Richard: Oh, well, Beckett got, uh, baby showers in the break-up, so...
Martha: You know, that's funny, 'cause you- you recently, you just, uh, don't seem to be so tortured by all that.
Richard: Oh, well, you know, Beckett asked for some time. So, I'm just giving... it to her... Every day.
Martha: Well...
Richard: Sometimes twice.

[Beckett enters an iterrogation room where Castle is being held]
Richard: Please tell me there's something stronger than coffee in there.
Kate: Sorry.
Richard: So... how much trouble am I in?
Kate: Not as much... as me... Look, Castle...
Richard: I can't make it like it was before, can I?
Kate: Maybe it'll be better. I mean, this way, when we come home at the end of each day, we'll have something to talk about, like normal couples.
Richard: Only your day will be classified.
Kate: We're gonna make this work. I *promise*. I'll have a couple of days off after this case, and- and we'll figure it out. But... until then...
Richard: You don't have to say it. I'll be on the first flight out in the morning.

[after shooting down a drone]
Richard: Wow!... I can't believe you missed with every shot.
Kate: *Really*? Do you think that you shot down that drone? With your marksmanship?
Richard: I rose to the occasion. Wow. This time I really did protect you.
Kate: Yeah. Along with yourself.
Richard: You know, this makes up for what may be considered a momentary lack of manliness. No, I have earned my redemption. Nothing can take that away from me.
Kate: [picking up a shell casing] These aren't real bullets, these are blanks.
Richard: Blanks? Well, I didn't know that, so that doesn't... That doesn't diminish the act of heroism.

[Ryan calls Captain Gates about the diamonds worth]
Captain: [on phone] 6-0? Like, with another six zeros after that?
Kevin: [on phone] That would be 60 million, yes.

Richard: Wow, this is actually gonna work out great. While you and Kendall keep Austin distracted, I'll search his house for proof that he's the Phantom. Membership in the G.D.S. is as good as mine.
Hayley: Oh, yay for you.
Richard: What's wrong? Was it the kiss with Kendall? Was it? Too much tongue? Not enough tongue?
Hayley: No, well, not enough. No, Kendall was right. This is not a game. If Austin Elektra is in fact the Phantom, then we are walking right into the lair of a serial killer.
Richard: I'm sorry. Repeat everything you said after "not enough."

Archibald: What makes you think it can be deactivated?
Javier: You better pray that it can, 'cause the person standing on it, she's a friend of mine.
Archibald: Not for long.

[first lines]
Father: Hello? Is anybody here?
[pause]
Father: Hello?
[pause]
Father: I came like you asked. Hello?

Lanie: I hear you made an interesting arrest today. You wanna talk about it?
Kate: No.
Lanie: Okay. Keep holding that stuff in, you're going to get an ulcer.

Richard: Beau Randolph is our victim? He was murdered in the women's bathroom? Brings new meaning to "College Girls Gone Crazy."

Javier: I may have an explanation for those facial wounds. Turns out our victim worked at a retirement home called Haven House.
Richard: Vicious, bloodthirsty old folks? Is that your theory?
Javier: This home is not for people, Castle. It's a primate sanctuary, mostly for apes and chimpanzees and monkeys who have retired from the movie business.
Kevin: I always *wanted* a pet monkey when I was a kid. *Big* "Curious George" fan.
Richard: Yeah, wait 'til George grows up. An adult chimpanzee can reach 200 pounds, tear off a man's face, hands, and naughty bits.
Kate: All right, we're going to go to the primate sanctuary. If Anne was attacked there, maybe someone dumped her body to cover it up. And call me if you get anything on that sedan.
Kevin: [to Castle as he is leaving] George would never do that.

[last lines]
Richard: Beckett?...
[examines frozen body]
Richard: It's Jamal.

Kate: What about her e-mails?
Kevin: Nothing from her mystery lover. So I had them take a look at her hard drive. Turns out portions of it had been surgically *wiped*, like someone covering their tracks.
Richard: So we're back to square one.
Kate: Not necessarily. Uh, Tessa's roommate said that he gave her some jewelry. Maybe he left a fingerprint on one of those pieces.
Kevin: I'll head to her place, see what I can find out.
[Ryan leaves]
Richard: Jewelry... I never would have thought of that
Kate: I guess I'll have to remind you when my birthday's coming up.
Richard: Why, Detective Beckett, was that a hint you just dropped?
Kate: Why, Mr. Castle, I do believe it was.
Richard: Shameless.

[seeing Beckett's bloodstained shirt from a training exercise]
Matt: [whistles] Hostage Alley?
Kate: Yeah.
Matt: [chuckles] Don't feel bad. Everyone screws that up.
Kate: I should've seen it.
Matt: Hey, look, it's better to die in training than in the field, right?
Kate: It's better not to die at all.

Kevin: Hey. Bad news. According to the banks, our victims' deposits were made in cash. There's no way to trace the payments. And since the deposits were less than $10,000, there was no report made to the IRS.
Kate: Which means that our victims were most likely involved in something illegal.
Richard: Just so you know, I got that from "shot to death."
Kevin: So?
[to Beckett]
Kevin: So... what illegal activity involves vending machines, an artist, and a high school teacher?
Richard: I know. Even the stuff I'm making up in my head doesn't make sense.

Kate: So where are you with matching Vulcan Simmons' heroin to current dealers?
Vikram: Nowhere. It's- It's gonna take a while. Which is why I think you going out to dinner with Castle is a mistake.
Kate: I know. But I miss him.

[last lines]
Javier: If you need, day or night, call me at that number.
Joey: Okay... You're all right. For a cop.
Javier: I know. Now get out of my car.

[looking for Beckett in her burning apartment]
Richard: Kate!
[rushes into the bathroom, then sees her in the tub]
Richard: You're alive! Oh... and you're naked.
Kate: Castle, turn around!
Richard: [turns around quickly] You know, your apartment *is* on fire, now might not be the best time for modesty.
Kate: [exasperated] Castle, hand me a towel!
[glances toward the towels, they're burning]
Richard: The towels are on fire.
Kate: Well, what about the bathrobe?
Richard: The...
[glances at the bathrobe, it's on fire too]
Richard: Do you have anything to wear that's non-flammable?
[automatically starts to turn towards her]
Kate: Castle!
Richard: [turns away quickly] Sorry.

Kate: Okay, so let me get this straight. You don't remember where you were or what you were doing last night?
Bobby: [pause, trying to remember] That's bad, right?

Richard: Hey, do you know what Lanie and Esposito were fighting about?
Kate: Everything. They both want to be together, but neither of them wants to admit to it.
Richard: Ugh! Why do people do that to themselves?
Kate: Maybe they just don't see it.
Richard: How could they not? It's so obvious.

Richard: Can't believe all this time, it was all just make-believe.
Kate: Castle, you didn't really believe that this was gonna lead to some great Freemason treasure, did you?
Richard: No, of course not. That'd be foolish... Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go home to wallow in what is perhaps the most disappointing day of my crime-solving career.

Richard: When did you say Val got that package?
Kate: Three days before she died.
Richard: That was midnight on the third day... She died because she saw this disc.
[whispers]
Richard: And now I saw it... Which means I'm next.

[a piece of art called the "Fist of Capitalism" has been stolen]
Richard: [sotto, to Beckett] Somebody stole the "Fist of Capitalism"? Anybody check up the ass of socialism?

[first lines]
Penny: Mom?... Mom?... Mom, are you here?

Javier: Noah Kesswood. Former officer in the Army's Military Intelligence Corps.
Richard: *Former* military intelligence?
Kate: Noah uses a fake identity, starts dating Michelle, and then he disapears just after she's killed?
Richard: It's "The Bachelor" meets "Homeland".

Kate: But, I, um, did just quit my job. And... I do have the day off.
Richard: I-I do... too.
Kate: Really?
Richard: Yes. So what would you, um... like to do today?
Kate: Um... I don't know, we could read.
Richard: We could watch TV.
Kate: Yeah, we could get something to eat.
Richard: We could do that, yeah.
[they lean in to kiss and a door closes]
Martha: [offscreen] Richard! I'm home!
Richard: Oh, my God.
[hurls them off the bed]
Kate: Ah!
Richard: [starts to whisper] Oh, God.
Kate: [also whispering] You said she was at the Hamptons.
Richard: She was in the Hamptons. She's not supposed to be here.
Martha: [offscreen] Darling, we need to talk.
Richard: Hide.
Kate: What?
Richard: Hide.
Kate: Are you serious?
Richard: Get in the closet.
Kate: No, I'm not going in the closet!
Richard: Get in the closet!

Kate: Hey, Ryan.
[Ryan comes over]
Kate: What's going on with Lanie?
Kevin: Uh, this case just hit a little close to home.
Richard: Why? What happened?
Kevin: Uh, security guard on the night shift found the victim hanging from that beam. We ID'd her as Pam Hodges, 32.
Richard: Hanging, as in, by the neck?
Kevin: Yeah, but what's *really* bizarre is the way the victim looks.
[he opens a body bag, revealing the victim looks exactly like Lanie]
Richard: Whoa. Is that Lanie's sister?
Kate: Lanie doesn't have a sister.

Kevin: [answers phone] Hey, Castle. Yeah, I'm gonna put you on speakerphone so you can weigh in on this.
Richard: [with Beckett] Weigh in on what?
Kevin: Well, we're in the morgue with Lanie trying to figure out who Beckett's boyfriend is.
[Beckett looks at Castle, alarmed]
Lanie: I have *nothing* to do with this nonsense.
Richard: Yeah, until you're bagging their mangled bodies when Beckett finds out.
[Beckett smiles]
Javier: Pfft. Like we're afraid of Beckett.
[chuckles]
Kevin: Besides, how's she gonna find out?
[Beckett grabs for the phone but Castle pulls it away]
Richard: Anyway... I need your guys' help.

Kate: [on phone] Castle, take it easy. Calm down.
Richard: Calm down? You should've seen the way these people looked at me. Like I'm some kind of savior. I-I don't even know if he's innocent.
Kate: Okay, how can I help?
Richard: I don't even know if I can help. I mean... what if I can't? Alexis would never forgive me.
Kate: Just do your best, Castle. I mean, she loves you. And I'm here. For both of you.

Richard: Good people of the jury, it is frightening to think about, but Nina O'Keefe is on trial today simply because I needed to use the restroom and the one downstairs...
[realization dawns on him]
Richard: Bad timing... The bathroom downstairs was occupied.

Kate: Happy anniversary. A day late.
Richard: Yeah, or, um, 364 days early.

Kate: She was at a club... That's Teddy Farrow's logo. He designs clothes for women. Upscale, expensive.
Kate: Oh, my credit card and I are painfully aware of Teddy's designs. I almost asked for custody of them after my last divorce.

[Castle notices several blades hanging from the ceiling in a blacksmith]
Richard: Ooh. Have it. Want it. *Need* it. Got it. Need it.

Richard: Well, do what I do... Look at the odds as a challenge.
Alexis: Says the man who always loses in Vegas.

Kate: Someone sent the victim a text yesterday.
[reading]
Kate: "Where go my money, Eddie? Yous owe huge. Paybacks time. I got ways for to get you dead..." It was sent by a blocked number. I'll see if Vikram can trace it.
Richard: "I got ways for to get you dead"? That's a particular syntax. Unique grammatical structure. Perhaps denoting a cultural significance.
Kate: Or maybe bad auto-correct.
Richard: No, Beckett. This was no error. This was a *specific* choice. It was a methodical decision. Dialectology 101. And I, being an expert in the English language, would be happy to help you solve this linguistic mystery.
Kate: Castle, you're not gonna work the case. So, why don't you just, uh, go back home, and I will see you tonight.
[she moves in to kiss him, but he puts his fingers on her lips to stop her]
Richard: Oh. While I do love kissing you, Beckett, it's just a little creepy when you do it in front of a dead body. It's... inappropriate.

Captain: BDU just confirmed it. Beckett's standing on a bomb. Trace detection estimates ten kilograms of RDX. Enough to take out the whole building.
Javier: So what's the plan?
[Gates doesn't respond]
Kevin: Sir, tell me there's a plan.
Captain: They're working on it.

Richard: Oh, and by the way, it's a common mistake, but it's not ironic that Dr. Cosway's not here for you to lean on. It's just simply tragic. It'd be ironic if her death made you feel better.

[watching Beckett inform the victim's sister of his death]
Richard: How does she do that?
Captain: Better than anyone I know.
[Castle notices that Montgomery seems to be a little upset]
Richard: You okay?
Captain: Her brother died trying to get something to me... No, I'm not okay.

Richard: So... future, huh?
Simon: That's right.
Kate: Okay, so why don't we just start with something simple, like your name.
Simon: Why does everyone want to know my name? And who cares? It doesn't matter.
Kate: Humor me.
Simon: Fine. You can call me... Simon. Simon Doyle.
Richard: And what year are you from, exactly?
Simon: 2035.
Kate: Castle!
Richard: Don't tell me you weren't wondering.

Kyra: Of all the murders, in all the cities, at all the weddings... and you walk into mine.
Richard: I'm glad I did.

Kevin: Nah. I was telling Jenny about Javi's antics last night... and we got to talking about the case. And she told me she met Bailey at a bar a month or so after we started up.
Javier: She told you about that?
Kevin: Yeah. She had no idea that he was some kind of professional pickup artist.
Richard: And you're not upset at all?
Kevin: Hey, um, it's not like we were exclusive.

[after a dramatic rescue]
Richard: *That* was amazing! Mason, you, sir, are quite literally a lifesaver. And talk about a getaway vehicle. A Korean barbecue taco truck! Are you serious? Is anyone hungry right now? Because I could totally whip up some kimchi tostadas.
Kate: [approaching Mason with her gun drawn] Who are you?
Mason: Whoa. Easy now.
Richard: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no, no. Kate, Kate, Kate, this is Mason Wood. He's the head of the Greatest Detective Society. I told you about meeting him in L.A.
Kate: That doesn't mean that we can trust him.
Mason: Fine, don't trust me. But would you mind pointing that thing away from me? It makes me just a bit nervous.
Richard: Don't worry, she's out of bullets.
Kate: Why would you tell him that?
Richard: Because he saved our lives, and he's a friend!
Kate: Who just happened to be at the right place, at the right time, with the right Korean barbecue taco truck? I don't think so.

[after Castle, Ryan, and Esposito make up a theory for the murder]
Kate: You know, I feel so stupid. Here I am, looking for evidence, and all I had to do was just *make* something up. So, this imaginary boyfriend-killer, do you think that he has an imaginary address?

Richard: Why were there news vans out front?
Kate: Because of who our victim is. Joe McUsic.
Richard: Who?
Kate: Juror number seven in the Lyla Addison case.
Richard: The Addison case? Seriously? What happened?
Kate: He dropped dead during the closing argument. Lanie thinks he was poisoned.
Richard: [pulling out his cell phone] Heir to the Addison fortune is murdered and, during the trial, a juror is murdered as well. This has all the makings of a John Grisham novel.
Kate: What are you doing?
Richard: I'm, uh, texting my poker group, calling dibs on this story.
Lanie: [Beckett and Castle enter the morgue] It was poison, all right. Pink lividity, the smell of bitter almonds. Test strip came back positive for cyanide.
Richard: Cyanide? That is fantastic!
[Lanie looks at him weirdly]
Richard: Unless you're the juror.

Javier: Sister Mary, we have a few questions for you about Father McMurtry.
Kevin: That is, if you're up for it, Sister Mary.
Sister: I can tell you anything you need to know about the Father, including who murdered him.
Javier: You know who killed him?
Sister: Isn't that what I just said?... I was afraid their friendship would end badly. But the Father was so trusting. Always trying to save lost souls. Even souls as black as that man's.
Kevin: What man, Sister Mary?
Sister: Michael Dolan.
Javier: This is Mickey Dolan? The mobster? The enforcer for the O'Reilly family?
Sister: The very same. He and Dolan grew up together. I, I tried to warn him, but he always believed... he could set Mr. Dolan on a better path. He died believing it.

Kate: You went to an underground prison?
[Castle nods]
Kate: Alone?
Richard: No, not alone. I had Alexis with me.
Kate: Oh, well, since you had backup. Are you kidding, Castle, your *daughter*?
Richard: When you say it in that tone, I sound like a bad parent.

Alexis: [ending a phone call with Ashley] Sorry, we were talking about the hiking trip next Saturday.
Richard: Oh, has Ashley got the all-clear from his parents to come with us?
Alexis: They say they want to meet you first.
Richard: Ah, they want to vet me. To make sure, if there's some kind of rock slide, that I won't leave their boy stranded on a mountainside, having to gnaw off his own arm to survive.
Alexis: So you'll do it?
Richard: We'll have them over for dinner. We'll schmooze and impress them.
Martha: Would you like me to cook something?
Richard: No, we want to impress them.
Martha: And what is that supposed to mean?

Richard: Three men huddled around a computer. That better not be porn, and if it is, I want in.

Mickey: So I know the chick's a cop. But you don't smell like NYPD. So what's your skin in this game?
Richard: I'm a... I'm a writer. Work with the police department.
Mickey: Oh, yeah? What do you write?
Richard: Mystery novels.
Mickey: Mmm. I don't have patience for books. But when I do read, I tend to skip to the last page.
Richard: Well, that kind of spoils the fun, don't you think?
Mickey: Eh, maybe. But I got damn good at figuring out endings. Like, in the case of our little story... I'm pretty sure it's only gonna end one way. You're gonna tell me where the hell that *cop* has my witness.
Richard: You know what you're asking? Why would I tell you where they are? I mean, I'm already dead, but I'm gonna let you have them, too.

[Castle is concerned about the co-ed dorms Alexis will be stay in during a Princeton summer program]
Martha: Darling, don't be such a prude. Remember that trip you took to Italy with your class? You were younger than Alexis is now.
Richard: Mother, if you had any idea what happened on that trip, you would've never let me leave the house again.

Richard: Hello, Emma. This is Richard Castle. I heard you wanted to speak with me.
Emma: How do I know it's really you?
Richard: Uh... well, if you care to step outside, I'd be happy to show you my driver's license.
Emma: Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Okay, you say you're Richard Castle? You're gonna have to prove it, all right? In the Nikki Heat series, what's Rook and Nikki's wine of choice?
Richard: Sancerre.
Emma: In "Deadly Heat", what's Douglas Sandmann's nickname?
Richard: Bedbug Doug.
Emma: In "Storm Rising", what's Peirre Dubois' last words?
Richard: Ah! Trick question. Pierre was a Trappist monk. He took a vow of silence. He never spoke. Boom! Believe it's me now, Emma? Because I can play Richard Castle trivia with you all day. I will crush you.

Javier: You still mad about being fired off Sarah Grace's preschool play?
Kevin: [sighs] Only at myself. I swore I'd never be that dad.
Javier: What, the kind that makes an ass of himself by dancing around like a flower for his daughter?
Kevin: No, the kind... The kind who gets caught up in what he wants, not what his kid does.

[trapped inside a burning building, while Jenny is in labor]
Kevin: I'm sorry. I-I know I promised, but... I'm not gonna be there.
Jenny: Don't say that. Please don't say that.
Kevin: Sorry... I love you more than anything. Remember that. Always remember that.

[talking about the catfight between the wife and fiancee of the murder victim]
Kate: And that whole thing with the ulcers was...
Richard: Oh, I know. That was a great 'Desperate Housewives' moment, the way Sarah just rubbed Helen's face in it.

Martha: Oh. Well, I hope you find time to cut loose, Jim, and just do something fun.
Jim: Well, of course, I-I try to take in a baseball game every now and again.
Martha: Oh, Lord. Baseball? Isn't that dreadfully dull?
Jim: Well, it requires a certain patience.
Martha: [laughing] A certain lack of *pulse*, you mean.
Kate: I think, uh, what my dad responds to is the game's nuance.
Martha: Oh, well, yes, of course. It has its merits.
Richard: Yeah, I think my mother just means it's not exactly, uh... action-packed.
Kate: Right, but that would depend on how you look at it, right?
Jim: Yeah, I mean, I suppose it does appeal to the more... serious, more... discerning crowd.
[Martha gives Castle a look; Castle tries to nonverbally tell her to let it go]
Martha: Jim... what *exactly* does that mean?
Jim: Just that... actors, by their nature, aren't the most serious people in the world, right?
Martha: Oh, is that so? So you think I'm not a serious person?
Richard: How about if we dive into this dessert?
[after a long pause]
Richard: 'Cause honestly, that whole death thing is sounding pretty good right now.
Kate: [checks her phone] There's been a murder downtown.
Richard: Close enough.

Kevin: I always thought the fashion industry seemed glamorous. Turns out, mobsters are more ethical.
Kate: Oh, my gosh. Why do you think I *quit*? I'll take murderers over models any day.
Javier: If only murderers were this hot.

[last lines]
Kate: Yeah. So, I take it that you're swamped.
Madison: Always. Why?
Kate: I thought that we could get a drink and catch up.
Madison: That'd be great. Apparently, we have a lot of catching up to do.

Richard: That gun's not gonna be much help when Lucas rips it from your hand with his mind.
Kate: [sigh] Castle, for the last time, telekinesis is not r...
[approaching Lucas' house, she trails off as they see the shades drawn and shadows of objects flying around inside]
Richard: You were saying?

Richard: So, the body's already in a graveyard. Someone's trying to save some time.

Richard: High school friend, huh? I bet she knows where all your bodies are buried.
Kate: You can dig all you want, Castle. My secrets are safe with her.
Richard: How can you be sure?
Kate: Because whatever she knows about me, I know worse about her. We used to hang out, big group of us, had a good time.
Richard: And... what's a good time?
Kate: Well, if you don't know by now, I'm sure it's too late to show you one.

Richard: She ever get any visitors? Possible that she, uh... worked out of the home?
Mr. Graham: No, sir. That is not possible.
Kate: Well, then who paid for rent?
Mr. Graham: Detective, we have a well-earned reputation for discretion and guarding the privacy of our clients.
Kate: Privacy ends when murder begins. Now, I want the name of whoever is paying for this unit. And if you don't have that, then go get it.
[Graham leaves angrily]
Richard: I love when you get angry. I mean, at other people, besides me.

[Castle and Hayley are trying to hack Vikram's computer]
Vikram: She's almost in. I can launch a cyber-nuke, but it'll completely fry his system.
Kate: He's got a back-up system at home.
Vikram: Is that a go for launch?
Kate: Yes.
Hayley: No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Oh!
Richard: What... just happened?
Hayley: Armageddon, I'm afraid. Vikram's nuked the whole system. We've lost everything.
Richard: We've lo... I never liked that guy.
Kate: Did they get in?
Vikram: No. Another *second* and they would have. Thankfully our location and all our files are still safe.
Kate: Yeah. For now. I just hope I didn't nuke my marriage.

Richard: When Alexis was four, we went Christmas shopping at some mall in White Plains. I was trying on some... charcoal fedora. I turn around, she is gone. Vanished. I looked... everywhere. So did mall security, so did the police. We searched for an *hour*... You don't have to be a... novelist to think of all the worst-case scenarios.
Kate: Where'd you find her?
Richard: Behind a... rack of winter coats. She got bored. She crawled underneath there and went to sleep.
[Beckett smiles]
Richard: To this day, I still dream about that.

[Castle is shown photos of crime scenes modeled after his novels]
Richard: "Flowers For Your Grave."
Kate: And this is how we found Marvin Fisk, right out of "Hell Hath No Fury."
Richard: Looks like I have a fan.
Kate: Yeah, a really deranged fan.
Richard: Oh, you don't look deranged to me.
Kate: [taken aback] What?
Richard: "Hell Hath No Fury"? Angry Wiccans out for blood? Come on. Only hardcore Castle groupies read that one.

Javier: Hey, by the way, our buddy Will has a girlfriend we might want to talk to. There's, uh, some photos of her right here in the back.
Kevin: Look at naked pictures? If you insist.
Kate: Castle, check this out.
Richard: Look at naked pictures? If you insist.

Richard: All the evidence we need is in that shredder. It'll tell us who the victim is. We can prove she's missing.
Alexis: And what if he catches you?
Richard: He won't. Not if I have your help. Next time he leaves, I'll slip over there. You keep watch...
[holds up a walkie talkie]
Richard: ... and make sure he's not coming back. I go inside, I get whatever's in the shredder, and I get out. Two minutes, tops.
Alexis: On crutches?
Richard: The doctor did say I need more exercise.
Alexis: What if I go? I'm smaller, faster and younger.
Richard: Oh. No, no, no. If you get caught, you get a B&E on your record, and you'll never become President.

Kate: Not quite sure where you're going with this, Castle.
Richard: Up.
[looking at his watch]
Richard: All right, thirty-two seconds. It takes thirty-two seconds to get from the basement to the twelfth floor.
Kate: [sarcastic] Great. I'll alert the media.
Richard: Only the second time, it took her thirty-seven seconds.
Kate: [her interest piqued] Why would it take her five extra seconds?
Richard: Because the second time, she wasn't coming from the twelfth floor. She was coming from the...
Kate: Fifteenth floor? This doesn't make any sense. The Petersons live on twelve.
Richard: Yeah, but I bet the guy who wears that condom lives on fifteen. By the way, that whole elevator thing, I just did that 'cause you smell nice.
[Castle knocks on a random apartment door]
Kate: Castle, you can't just knock on people's doors.
Richard: Why not?

Kevin: [at the crime scene outside a bookstore] Hey, it's Castle!
[seeing Castle approaching, they realize it's just the store owner carrying a cardboard cutout of Castle holding "Naked Heat"]
Kevin: I guess he did finish that book.
Lanie: [sarcastic] Nice of him to send us a copy.
[the store owner puts a cardboard poster of Castle up in the window reading "Meet the author this Friday at 7 PM"]
Kevin: Looks like he's back in town.
Javier: [also sarcastic] Nice of him to call.
Kate: All right, guys, you can stop pining for your girlfriend. After all, we got a body full of holes.

Richard: You know, with this award, you going for captain, we could be New York's newest power couple.
Kate: Oh, Castle, don't jinx it. I haven't even gotten my exam results back yet.
Richard: It's you. You aced it.

Richard: Seriously though, I think it's time we shake things up. Move to Paris. You know, uh, search for buried treasure in Nepal. We could fly a hot air balloon across the Sahara.
Kate: You know what? I love all of those ideas, but I just became Captain, and you have your P.I. business.
Richard: And then there's LokSat.
Kate: Exactly.
[her phone rings]
Kate: We have responsibilities, right?
Richard: But... what if...
[takes her phone]
Richard: ... we didn't?
[answers phone]
Richard: Hold, please.
Kate: Um, I might need that. That might be a homicide.
Richard: The victim's not gonna get any deader. Listen, let's say we find LokSat and take him down, without getting killed.
Kate: Mmm-hmm.
Richard: What then? You're not gonna be Captain of the 12th precinct for very long. You're on a rocket. Sky's the limit. So, you know what happens then?
Kate: Mmm-mmm.
Richard: We become... normal.
Kate: No, Castle, you're *never* gonna be normal.
Richard: I'm serious. Think about it.

Richard: Sorry for the interruption. This won't take long. It actually can't. The trial's gonna start again in a few minutes, and we need to nail down who the real killer is before an innocent woman gets convicted.
Roger: What do you mean, innocent? You saw that woman kill Sadie.
Richard: No, Roger. I only thought I did. You see, the mind is a funny thing. Doesn't like a vacuum, so it fills in the blanks.

Kate: Thank you for coming in, Miss Langford.
Michele: [to Castle] By the way, that... photo in the paper... did you no justice. You're much better looking in person.
Kate: There's a picture of you in the paper?
Michele: So, are you the detective girlfriend?
Kate: I'm sorry, the what?
Michele: He... is such a catch.
Kate: [before Castle can say anything] Don't. Show me... now.
[cut to them in the break room]
Kate: [angry] Romantically involved?
Richard: *Rumored* to be.
Kate: What did you tell them?
Richard: Nothing! Why would I do that? Do you have any idea what this does to my reputation?
Kate: Your reputation? What about *my* reputation?
Richard: I am just as upset as you are! I'm on your team! This is shoddy journalism, and I am two seconds away from canceling my subscription!
[realizing something]
Richard: My subscription.

Kate: [narrating a letter she is leaving for Castle] Dear Rick, I don't know how much time I have, even to write this letter. What I do know now is that I'm in this. And the only way I'm gonna make it out alive is to see this through. I'm sure everyone is looking for me and if they figure out I was here, CSU's gonna search this house. They're gonna look for blood, and they will find it. Which will lead them to this letter. Babe, it's your letter. And I hope you never have to read this, that I can tell you all of these things in person. But if something happens, and I don't make it, I need you to know that our partnership, our relationship, is *the* greatest thing that has *ever* happened to me. You're an amazing man, and I love you with all of my heart. Always.

Keith: Your job is to enforce the law. Yet you have repeatedly ignored it. In Los Angeles, you investigated a case outside of your legal jurisdiction.
Kate: But...
Keith: You used your badge to pursue a personal vendetta against Senator Bracken, crossing the line and endangering the lives of others numerous times.
Kate: Sir, that man was a murderer.
Keith: You've withheld case information from superiors and flown in the face of authority whenever it suits you. Not to mention your working relationship with Richard Castle. Tell me, Detective, how often have you let your personal feelings for your husband dictate your actions in pursuit of a suspect?
Kate: Sir, that is unfair. I never let...
Keith: And when he went missing, you used your position and a great deal of the taxpayers' money to search for him, enlisting the aid of fellow detectives. And, well, you are infamous for being the inspiration for the fictional NYPD detective Nikki Heat, who spends more time on her back than she does pursuing killers... Detective Beckett, how do you expect to lead, or even continue in your current job, when it's clear you've exercised such poor judgment?
Kate: Sir, if you would look at my record...
Keith: We are looking at your record. You are not qualified for a captaincy, and, in my opinion, you are not qualified to be a detective... Thank you. You can go.
[shocked and at a loss for words, Beckett stands up to leave, then stops]
Kate: You're wrong, sir.
Keith: Excuse me?
Kate: I said, you're wrong. In every case you have referenced, I have not only successfully brought the killer to justice, but I did so with the utmost respect for the law and for the department I represent. And regarding my relationship with Mr. Castle, he has proven to be a *brilliant* partner and he's always had my back. And as for his... fictional representation of me, I'm proud to have been his inspiration, and I am proud to be his wife. You asked, How do I expect to lead? By continuing to fight for what's right, not for what's easy. My job is to protect the citizens of New York and I will do it by doing my job better than anyone else and getting results. I don't cross the line, I put myself on it. And if you have any other questions, then you can ask the families of the victims that I have served.

[after Castle arrived at the crime scene with a blonde in his Ferrari]
Kate: Hey, Lanie, how does it look?
Lanie: Like you waited too long.

Nancy: Yes. I slept with Scott. And yes, he took photos. Obviously.
Kate: And then he used them to blackmail you.
Nancy: Blackmail? Where are you getting that from?
Kate: Well, how else did your now ex-husband end up with these photos?
Nancy: Because my ex hired Scott to sleep with me. The same thing happened with all of us, Annika and Claire. You see, our husbands wanted to trade us in for younger trophy wives without having to pay through the nose.
Kate: Oh, because you guys had infidelity clauses in your prenups.
Nancy: Yeah, my night with Scott cost me 12 mil.
Kate: Uh, you do realize that you just gave me a motive for Scott's murder.

Richard: Kind of a role reversal, isn't it?
Jerry: Not sure what you mean.
Richard: Oh, sure you do. It wasn't so long ago you were in here visiting me.
Jerry: You got me confused for Tyson again.
Richard: You were dressed in a police uniform. And I was in there, where you are now.
Jerry: [flashback] People think it's killing that I like. But murder's just an act. It's all about... the anticipation, the planning. Being inside your life... knowing that I'm going to take it all away from you... That's what I like.
Richard: What a feeling that must've been... That kind of... *power* over someone. How does it feel now, Jerry?

Richard: Needless to say, dinner was a disaster. But the real disaster is that Alexis has moved in with this guy. It's just so wrong for her.
Kate: Yeah, well, she'll figure it out. At least she's not living in squalor. That's good.
Richard: No, it's not good. I was hoping for squalor. I was *counting* on squalor. Because Alexis cannot last in squalor. So I was just hoping this whole thing would blow over. She would see Pi for the ambition-free hippie that he is. And now he's morphed into some kind of... New Age crusader? It's as though he's turned being a charming man-child into a career.
Kate: Now that doesn't sound familiar, does it?

Kate: Hey, Ryan, what do our victim's phone records show? Any phone calls to City Hall?
Kevin: No phone calls at all because... Laura Cambridge didn't own a cell phone. Credit cards haven't been used in six months.
Richard: No cell phone and no credit cards? It's like she's from another century.
Javier: Amish theory's looking pretty good, bro.

Kate: You showed the stewardess the evidence file?
Richard: No.
[scoffs and laughs]
Richard: I took a picture of it with my phone.

Richard: I know who the killer is!
Kate: Castle, we just got some bad news, so no hypotheticals. Just give us a name.
Richard: Well, I have to start at the beginning...
Kate: *Name*.
Richard: Jinhai Li Chang.
Kate: [pause] Okay, start from the beginning.

U.S. Attorney Elizabeth Weston: 25 million?
Captain: That's right. And your informant went to a great deal of trouble to keep it secret.
U.S. Attorney Elizabeth Weston: And you have no idea where the money came from?
Captain: No, but odds are it's what got him killed... Elizabeth, if you know anything about this...
U.S. Attorney Elizabeth Weston: Of course I don't know anything about this... You don't believe me.
Captain: Do you blame me?
U.S. Attorney Elizabeth Weston: I didn't know! And given the lengths he went to hide the transaction, he clearly didn't want me to know.
Captain: Okay. Fine. Then I'm gonna need access to Peter Cordero's wire recordings.
U.S. Attorney Elizabeth Weston: For what?
Captain: Because there may be something on those tapes that's relevant to his murder.
U.S. Attorney Elizabeth Weston: We went through them. If there was anything on there, we would have heard it.
Captain: Not if you weren't listening for it!

Alexis: Professor Rankowsky still hasn't received the check for my Costa Rica trip.
Richard: [evasive] He didn't? That's so weird.
Alexis: You didn't send it, did you?
Richard: [stammers] Why do you want to go study the rainforest for six weeks anyway?
Alexis: Dad, we talked about this.
Richard: I know, but you're going to be staying in the middle of a jungle. Miles away from the nearest phone, *hours* from the nearest hospital. You could be bitten by a poisonous spider, or a poisonous snake. I looked it up. Toucans are extremely aggressive this time of year.

Martha: Jim... I don't know how you do this. You know, I thought I would get used to this... new part of Richard's life, that constant danger, and the never knowing, and I, but I really thought there would come a moment, just a moment, when the worry would stop.
Jim: Katie's been doing this for more than a decade now... and I've had this clench in my gut since the day they handed her the shield... She does say she always feels safest when your son's watching her back.
Martha: He says the same thing about her. Well... at least, wherever they are, they have each other to lean on.

[lighting romantic candles at the loft, he hears a knock on the door]
Richard: Who is it?
Kate: Svetlana, your sexy Russian lover.
[opens the door to let her in]
Richard: Correction, my sexy Russian lover, who *happens* to be a model.

Alexis: How come we never had a nanny?
Richard: Well, your mother and I decided if someone was gonna screw you up, we wanted it to be me. Only you managed to turn out fine somehow anyway.

Javier: [answering phone] Yo.
Alexis: Dad's missing, and we can't reach Beckett's cell.
Javier: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, hold on.
[puts on speakerphone]
Javier: Beckett's at a forensics conference, Alexis.
Alexis: No, she never showed.
Hayley: Rick was lured into an empty building this morning. I hacked a nearby street camera and got footage of a white van fleeing the scene.
Javier: [to Ryan] Neighbors saw a white van in front of Emma's building.
Alexis: Who's Emma?
Kevin: A murder victim. We think her killer might have been driving a rusty white van.

Richard: Any news on your undercover boss?
Kate: Every answer just leads to more questions. I've no idea what he was doing at that warehouse, or what this guy was doing with him. Actually, I was kind of hoping that you might be able to help me with a crazy theory.
Richard: Sorry. I'm fresh out. How about a kiss?
Kate: Even better.
[they lean in to kiss; the dog suddenly starts barking and bolts out of the room]
Richard: He was a nun in a previous life?
Kate: Yeah.
[they follow the dog out, where he is barking at a detective with a cuffed suspect and sniffing his pocket]
Richard: Detective, what do you have in your pocket?
Detective: Evidence, from a bust.
[he pulls out an evidence baggie]
Detective: The girl was dealing.
Kate: So he's not just a dog. He's a trained drug dog.
Richard: I think I have a crazy theory for you.

Kate: No, you don't understand. I need to be okay.
Dr. Carter Burke: That's not always a choice, Kate. What you're describing, hypervigilance, it's a classic symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder.
Kate: I don't have PTSD.
Dr. Carter Burke: You were shot, by a sniper. I think it's fair to say this case is going to bring up issues. Issues you still haven't dealt with.
Kate: Okay, then fine, I'll deal with them. Right now, I need to figure out how to make this stop.
Dr. Carter Burke: It's not going to stop. Not without time and treatment. The psychological trauma is every bit as real as the physical trauma.

Kate: Castle, do you have a theory you'd like to share with the class?

[Castle is on the phone with Beckett and Hayley]
Richard: Now, is that any way to talk to the man who can ID your killer?
Hayley: Wait, you can ID him?
Richard: Well, no. But Mia can.
Mia: No, I can't.
Hayley: Who's Mia?
Richard: She's an eyewitness. Well, technically, she's a... nose-witness.

[first lines]
Reginald: Mr. Hixton, is everything all right?

Kevin: So, we're still canvassing, but I thought you'd want to hear this. Neighbor said she was on her treadmill last night listening to music.
Kate: So she didn't hear the shot.
Kevin: No, but she did open her back door to let the cat in, and she saw someone hopping over the fence on their way out of Wilder's yard.
Richard: You get a description?
Kevin: Yeah.
[consults his notepad]
Kevin: Uh... "a foot disappearing over the fence."

[to Ryan and Esposito, after meeting Spate]
Richard: It's as if he stepped off the pages of a graphic novel. You should have been there to see him in person.
Kate: Yes, *they* should have, not you. And definitely not Alan. Now, tell me how dangerous it was for you to take him out in public, 'cause I know that you knew.
Richard: He's in love, Beckett. And I love love. And... and I'm sorry, and I won't do it again.

Kate: And for the record, she's *nothing* like Nikki Heat.
Richard: Oh, you just can't stand it that a beautiful actress is actually interested in me.
Kate: Why would I care?
Richard: Exactly. That's a good question. Why would you care?
Kate: I don't.
Richard: Fine. I'm gonna go get some coffee.
Kate: Fine. I've got work to do.
[they walk off in different directions then stop and turn around]
Richard: Break room's that way.
Kate: Desk.

Kate: [answers phone] Hey.
Richard: I've figured out who sent the text. Guy's name is Alistair Durcoyne.
Kate: Are you sure it's him?
Richard: Yeah. The grammatical structure in the text "I got ways for to make you dead" is a direct match to his homework assignment where he wrote,
[reading]
Richard: "I went for to get some beer."
Kate: Good job, Castle. I'll have Ryan and Espo take it from here.
Richard: Are you gonna tell them about my involvement?
Kate: I have to. I mean, I'll say you found out about the ESL class on your own, and that I had no idea that you were going undercover.
Richard: You think they'll buy it?
Kate: Oh, I don't know. I mean, when have you ever gone against my wishes and interfered with an investigation?
Richard: No need for sarcasm. All you had to say was "yes."

Agent: For a strike in Jalalabad, they'd probably use an F-16 out of Bagram Air Base... I did a year as Chief Technical Officer at Bagram. Part of my job was dumping in the fighter jets' flight data onto a central server... If I can access it, I might be able to get that audio.
Kate: What are we waiting for, McCord? We played by the rules. And that's...
[points to redacted document]
Kate: ... what they gave us.
Rachel: [after a long pause] Do it.

Richard: So our killer could be connected to the games.
Javier: Yeah, and I'm laying money it was Manny Castro.
Kate: And who is Manny Castro?
Javier: A top pro who had beef with Logan. Six months ago, Logan showed him up in an event in Los Angeles, then beat him two more times after that. Tension got super high between the two of 'em.
Kate: Oh. A reigning champion unable to cope with defeat.
[to Castle]
Kate: That sounds familiar.

Sara: [Alexis is trying to pick a lock] It's been hours now.
Alexis: My dad taught me how to do this when he was researching for one of his books. He actually bought a door for us to practice on.
Sara: This was recently?
Alexis: I was ten.

Javier: These people all immigrated to this country in search of a better life. It looks like Eddie was trying to help them achieve that.
Kevin: Question is, how do we figure out who else Eddie was helping?
Richard: Well, tonight is international food night. And since Jean-Luc is a chef, I will be plying them with French delicacies.
Javier: You packin' poutine?
Richard: Javier, I'll have you know that French Canadians are proud descendants of Parisian culture. No, I'll be serving them pastries from La Bernardin restaurant.
Kevin: Ah, Castle, that's one of the premier French restaurants in the world. They don't do takeout.
Richard: [chuckles] Perhaps not for Jean-Luc Delacroix, but they will for...
[in exaggerated French]
Richard: ... Richard Castle.
[in a sweeping motion, he swings his jacket on, knocking items off of the desk in front of him]
Richard: Sorry about that.

Richard: Hey, thank you.
Kate: For what?
Richard: For not giving up on me.
Kate: Well, you've never given up on me, so...
[they share a smile; Castle moves in to kiss her, but she backs away]
Kate: Castle, wait. Uh, not here.
Richard: Oh, right. We're separated. Oh!
[Castle rubs his nose]
Kate: Are you okay? Do you have allergies?
Richard: No, that's the... That's the signal. That's the "I love you" signal.
Kate: Oh, yes. You really should think of something better.
Richard: It's adorable.

Richard: A posed body, mysterious medieval symbols, and now a murderous monk?... It's a real-life "Da Vinci Code".

Kate: I know what you're thinking, Sam. You're thinking I'm not gonna kill you, and you are right. But you've been running drugs, and that means the NYPD can seize everything in your life.
Vikram: You want your kids to live out of a cardboard box? 'Cause that's what's gonna happen.
Sam: I don't know any names. They pay me not to ask questions. Don't involve my family. I- I... I didn't have a choice.
Vikram: I think he's telling the truth.
Kate: All right, Sam, here's what's gonna happen. I'm not gonna arrest you. But if you get another delivery...
[hands him a card]
Kate: ... you call this number.
Sam: No, no, no, no. I can't. They'll kill me.
Kate: They might. But if I arrest you, they definitely will.
Vikram: And telling them about this conversation guarantees that your whole family will be wiped out.
Sam: I won't say a word. I promise.
Kate: Good. Now where exactly is the warehouse full of heroin?

Richard: [to the killer] It was a solid plan. I mean, who's gonna notice? They're here alone, marginalized by society. In your position, I would've done the same thing.
Javier: No, you wouldn't.
Richard: No, I wouldn't have. I have a soul.

[last lines]
Kate: Tell me something, Castle. Why did he let you live?
Richard: To punish me... To make me pay for ruining his plan... Now he's going to kill again, all because I couldn't stop him... And I feel so...
Kate: [supportively putting her hand on his knee] I know the feeling.
Richard: I know you do.
[takes her hand in his]

Richard: How many murders do you think we've solved since we met?
Kate: I don't know. Um... maybe a hundred or so?

Kevin: Hey, guys... uh... I think we might have our theory backwards. What if it wasn't an angry ex-husband that killed Ms. Twohey? What if it was an ex-wife?
Kate: Oh, wow, troublesome ex-wife?
[looks at Castle]
Kate: Imagine that... So you think one of her *clients* killed her?
Kevin: Uh, well, Lanie got a hit on the blood found on Michelle's jacket. It belongs to a Samantha Voss. She's in the system to due a DUI arrest in Los Angeles.
Kate: Did she have a grievance with Michelle?
Kevin: Oh, I'd say so. The morning of Michelle's murder, a judge came down with a ruling in Samantha's contentious divorce case. She lost big.
Richard: How big is big?
Kevin: Uh, Upper East Side apartment big, car and boats big, half of her multi-million dollar net worth big.
Richard: [to Beckett] That's big.

Captain: For all I know they could be out having a cold one.
[Montgomery says this to Ryan and Esposito, who have just told him they can't get in touch with Beckett and Castle, who are trapped in a freezer]

Richard: Okay, okay. Heart-shaped cufflinks?
Kate: [chuckles] Could you stop *guessing*?
Richard: Okay, a pony. It's a rocket. It's a limited edition "Star Wars" lightsaber signed by George Lucas.
Kate: Yes, because nothing says "Happy Valentine's Day" like a "Star Wars" toy.
[Castle laughs]
Kate: Wait, wait. Please tell me that you didn't get me a lightsaber for our *first* Valentine's Day together.
Richard: Please, give me some credit.

Det. Ethan Slaughter: Hey, Sherlock. Long time no see.
Richard: [chuckles] Hey, Slaughter! Buddy. How you been?
Det. Ethan Slaughter: Not enough shootouts, but otherwise, *stellar*.

Dino: I need you to prove Christopher's innocence and find Eric's killer. Hey, nobody connected's gonna talk to the cops. But if I vouch for you... give you access no cop has ever gotten...
Richard: Dino, I don't know if I'm the guy...
Dino: I could crack a joke about making you an offer you can't refuse. But you cannot refuse.
Richard: Understood.
Dino: Good.
Richard: But if I figure out who did this, you *have* to let *me* bring the killer to justice. And by justice, I mean *legal* justice, not just taking him out. When the time comes, I need to call Beckett.
Dino: We will swear by the code of silence.
[Dino picks up a dagger and slices the palm of his hand]
Richard: Omerta?
[Dino slices Castle's palm]
Richard: Ow!
[Dino claps their hands together in a sign of bonding]
Richard: Ow!
Dino: You're blood now, Rick. You're family... Do not let me down.

Javier: So the canvass at Yonkers Raceway came up with something. A parking attendant saw Bobby S.'s black Charger. Now, it returned thirty minutes after the murder. He only saw it from a distance, but he said the driver was wearing a baseball cap and he walked to the subway stop.
Kate: Okay, let's touch base with the MTA.
Javier: I already did. I cross-referenced all metro cards swiped at that time. One of 'em was bought with a credit card. And that credit card belonged to Liam Finch, that's Bobby S.'s number two.
Richard: It's a coup. Liam is framing Bobby to get him out of the way. He wants to take over.
Kate: And Ryan walked right in the middle of it.
Javier: Worse. He didn't walk in the middle, he walked in as Bobby S.'s friend. That makes him Liam's enemy.
Kate: Okay, we have to warn him.
Richard: If we call him, we could blow his cover.
Javier: If we don't, he could end up dead.

[trying to determine the connection between the three victims]
Richard: Maybe they're top CIA agents targeted for termination.
Kate: CIA is a popular theory with you.
Richard: Yes. Well, law of averages demands that I'll eventually be right.
Kate: [sarcastic] I'd forgotten how helpful your insights can be.
Richard: Oh, yeah? I bet I figure out how they're connected before you do.
Kate: All right. You're on. But if I win, you have to promise to go away and never interfere with any of my cases *again*.
Richard: Fine. And if I win, you have to take me back as your partner.
Kate: Deal.
Richard: [glancing over at Ryan and Esposito] What if they figure it out first?
[they look at Ryan and Esposito together, then back at each other]
Richard: Nah.

Javier: Yo. You were right about the silencer. The lab found trace amounts of titanium alloy in the threads. They've narrowed it down to one of two commercial suppressors. Both run about a grand.
Richard: Why put an expensive silencer on a cheap gun?
Kate: Because... our killer followed Royce from L.A. and couldn't bring his own gun on the plane.
Richard: But a silencer is just a cylinder. It could easily be hidden in a checked bag.

Richard: That whole, uh, sinking car thing? Much cooler in the movies than it is in real life.
Kate: And for the record, I prefer watching spy thrillers to being in them.

Richard: You just said you wanted to hurt him
[emphasis]
Richard: so bad.
Tiffany: Yeah, so I grabbed the nearest guy and pulled him into the bathroom for revenge sex.
Kate: Then how did your bra get wrapped around Beau Randolph's neck?
Tiffany: I must have left it in the bathroom.
[Becket shakes head in disbelief]
Tiffany: You ever do it in a nightclub, detective? Hot, sweaty, quick?
[Whispers]
Tiffany: Things go missing.
[Castle grins and nods head in agreement like he's lost stuff before]

Kate: I hate this case.
Richard: I know! Isn't it great?

Kate: Wait, so now you're telling me that you don't believe she's in on this?
Richard: Why would she tell me she's a thief? Why offer that up?
Kate: Because she's feeding you just enough truth so that swallowing the lies is easier.
Richard: I don't think she's behind this.
Kate: Yeah, well, you're thinking with the wrong body part.

Richard: Guys... this carpet's bleeding.

Kevin: [following a suspect] What is this, an AA meeting?
Richard: [looking at a pamphlet] PLA.
Javier: What the hell is PLA?
Richard: Pathological Liars Anonymous. Makes perfect sense. Dave wasn't a con man. He was a pathological liar.

Kate: Getting that body was supposed to sew our case up, not blow it apart. How could those bullets not match?
Richard: I have a theory, but you're not gonna like it.
Kate: Yeah, I'm open to anything right now.
Richard: Randolph is innocent.
Kate: Yeah, you're right. I don't like it.

Tory: These are mostly standard tourist snapshots of New York.
Richard: No pictures of people, friends, boyfriends?
Tory: I haven't found any so far.
Kate: Keep looking, okay? And check the faces in the backgrounds. See if any of them show up again. Those photos might be our best bet.
Richard: [to Tory] Thanks.
[leaves with Beckett]
Richard: I take it this means we hit a wall on who rents the apartment?
Kate: The lease is held and paid for by Gregs-Baker, which is a shell corporation based out of Belize, and it was set up in such a way as to make it untraceable.
Richard: All right. Well, what about phone records and credit cards? They must point to who Pam Hodges was spending time with.
Kate: She barely used her phone. And even though she racked up *huge* credit card bills, it was mostly for shoes and clothes and hair salons. And it was paid for monthly by Gregs-Baker.
Richard: Well, what did CSU find at her apartment?
Kate: Her prints. No one else's.
Richard: What the hell is going on here?
Kate: I don't know. But someone is doing an *incredible* job of covering their tracks.

Kate: [having determined that the victims were printing counterfeit money together] So... plates, paper... there's only one missing ingredient.
[pause]
Richard: I know who the killer is!

[Shaw and Becket discussing Castle while he is in the backseat]
Special: [to Beckett] So, if you're not sleeping together, why do you keep him around?
Richard: You know I can *hear* you.

Martha: A little unsolicited advice...
Richard: Do you give another kind?

Richard: Nina's back was to me. I didn't actually see the death blow. I... You gotta believe me, you guys, it- it really looked like she did it.
Martha: Mmm. Well, I believe you. It's just, honestly, it sounds to me like Nina killed her.
Alexis: Me, too.
Richard: I have to find out for sure.
Alexis: Dad, there's no way to do that.
Richard: I know... Or is there?... I've got it, and I'd only have to do two things. One, delay the trial so I have a chance to investigate, and two, have a one-on-one conversation with Nina.
Alexis: Uh, Nina's lawyer will never allow it.
Richard: Which is why I'm going to have to be very clever with how I go about this.
Martha: I take it you have a plan.
Richard: You know I do, Mother.
Martha: Might I ask you what it is?
Richard: I'm gonna get thrown in jail.

Kate: This isn't one of your books, Castle. Out here, we find a guy standing over a body with a gun, he's usually the guy who did it.

Kevin: [panting] Hey. Sorry I'm late.
Javier: Yeah? Jenny again?
Kevin: Yeah... Her temperature spiked this morning and suddenly it's showtime. She's got this baby-making down to a science.
Richard: Sounds romantic.
Kevin: I feel like a rooster in a hen house. Except for there's only one hen. A very bossy hen.

Vikram: Where you going?
Kate: I need to talk to Castle.
Vikram: No. That'll have to wait. I found the garbage truck driver from Friendly Islands. His shift ends in thirty minutes. With Lara's murder all over the news, they might be circling their wagons. We gotta get to him now.
Kate: No, I hate lying to him.
Vikram: I know. But you're doing it for the right reasons. This's our first real shot to get to LokSat. We have to take it.
Kate: You're right.
[sighs]
Kate: Tell me about the driver.

Richard: The murder is here? At Drake's Magic Show?
Kate: Yep.
Richard: I've been coming here since I was 13 years old. This place is a paradise for boys. Whoopee cushions, magic tricks, fake vomit.
Kate: It's not just for boys, Castle. My grandfather was an amateur magician, and I used to come here almost every Sunday afternoon when I was that age, too.
Richard: [chuckles] Never picked you for a magic fan. You know any good tricks?
Kate: I do this one thing. With ice cubes.

[after accidentally bumping into Beckett and spilling coffee on her]
Richard: I brought you coffee.

[first lines]
[the squad room is a complete zoo while Beckett calmly drinks coffee and Castle eats pop-corn and enjoys the 'show']
Richard: [to Beckett] What is it about... full moons that bring out all the crazies?

[after Castle displayed gift ideas for Jenny's baby shower]
Martha: Richard, I honestly... Why can't you just buy a simple, tradition... Why is this so difficult for you?
Richard: It's not. This next one *is* perfect. Trust me.
Martha: Okay.
[Castle reaches into one of his bags]
Alexis: Is it a baby-sized lightsaber?
Richard: [chuckles] No.
[Castle reaches into another bag]
Alexis: Please tell me that's not the creepy robot nanny that sings Leonard Cohen lullabies.
Richard: What's wrong with Leonard Cohen lullabies?
Martha: It's more like "Silence of the Lambs" than "Mary Had a Little Lamb". Oh, don't worry, sweetheart. Fortunately, Alexis has purchased the *perfect* baby shower gift.
[hands over a full basket]
Alexis: All you have to do is sign the card.
Richard: Do you have any idea how hard it is to find machine-washable Kevlar? Why didn't you tell me this before I went shopping?
Martha: Because we would have so missed torturing you. You are our favorite reality show.
Richard: I'm so happy I could entertain you.

Tory: Usually, there's a file embedded in the video with data on the camera. But it's been stripped out.
Richard: Can you tell where it was first uploaded?
Tory: [typing] Let me see... Looks like the video got bounced around the Net from site to site. But this is where it started.
[Ellis brings up a web paged called Pyrolicious.com]
Kate: "Pyrolicious.com." Really?
Tory: Wow. Okay. A site that caters to fire fetishists.
Kate: I didn't even know there was a fire fetish.
Richard: The actual term is "pyrophilia." Further proof that the Internet has something for everyone.
Kate: [whispers] I'm not gonna ask how you knew that.

DHS: Thank you, Captain. All right, folks, here's what we know. Amir Alhabi built a bomb in storage unit C-4-1-2. It's a dirty bomb, designed to explode and disburse a highly radioactive Cobalt 60... That bomb is missing...
Kevin: [quietly to Esposito] I called Jenny to tell her I'd be late. Tried to get her to go visit her mom.
Javier: Yeah, I did the same thing with Lanie. Didn't work. She hates her mom.

Mia: Detective Beckett, Mr. Castle. What brings you here?
Kate: This.
[Beckett hands over an envelope in an evidence baggie]
Kate: It contained cash used to buy a press pass for Eric Chambers.
Mia: A press pass? That's how the assassin got in?
Richard: Well, you should know. Your fingerprint is on the envelope.
Kate: Where were you during the shooting, Mrs. Lopez? Because we can't account for you.
Mia: You can't be suggesting that I tried to kill my husband.
Richard: Oh, no. No, no. Not at all. We're suggesting that you tried to kill Carolyn Decker and succeeded.

Richard: You're selling me out? Why?
Jacque: I value my life more than my word. If I'd known who was really holding your daughter, who your daughter *really* is...
Richard: Who she really is? That- I-I don't understand...
Jacque: ...I would have never taken the job!

Richard: What's your take on Fallon?
Kate: Smart cop, driven, killer instinct. As a person? Kind of a douche.

[trying to decide what to do with the victim's dog]
Richard: Or... we could keep him here at the precinct. I mean, we could use a mascot.
Javier: I thought that's what you were.

Richard: Hey. Whatcha doing?
Kate: Paperwork to dismiss the homicide charges against Scoville.
[handing him a report]
Kate: Ballistics. Confirms that the gun used on Donny in the park that night was the same one Max used on himself. I'm usually better at reading people.
Richard: You spent half an hour with Max. There's no way you could have seen that coming.
Kate: Poor kid must have been a mess. Imagine shooting your best friend and then having to lie about it.
Richard: Well he did more than just lie about it.
Kate: What do you mean?
Richard: He went back and moved his friend's body.
Kate: He went back and moved his friend's body. Having the presence of mind to move the body isn't exactly consistent with a guilty conscience, is it?
Richard: I'd say that's more an act of a cold-blooded killer.
Kate: And a cold-blooded killer doesn't suddenly feel guilty enough to commit suicide, does he?
Richard: Not in any story I'd write.
Kate: So if we're right and Max didn't move Donny's body, then who did?

Alexis: Dad, did you notice any candy wrappers or fruit juice, anything with sugar, at the dry cleaner's?
Richard: Uh, an empty soda can. Why?
Alexis: I think Beckett's mystery man might have been having a diabetic incident. But based on his symptoms, sugar is not enough. You need insulin to regulate...
Richard: Honey, I need to go. Let's talk about this later, though, okay?
[as Castle leaves, Hayley hangs back]
Hayley: Red, don't wait for the old man. If you've got something, follow up on it. Look, Beckett's on the run. She can't go to a doctor, she can't go to a hospital, so how does she get her hands on insulin?
Alexis: She would have to get creative.
Hayley: There you go.

Javier: Do you know if Vasily recognized this guy?
Kevin: No, I don't think so.
Richard: Why do you ask?
Javier: Because Frank's real name is Anatoly Arkady. And he's a defector from Russia from back in the Cold War. And...
[he leads them into Beckett's office]
Javier: ...Grigory's mom, Anya, is a spy.
Richard: Really?
Javier: Yeah.
Richard: Wow. That is so cool!
[sees Beckett's expression]
Richard: Bad. It's obviously bad.

[examining victim dressed as a police officer]
Kate: He's from the 116th in Queens. This is an old-style badge, though.
Richard: Oh, maybe he's old school. Didn't want to give up the badge he built his career on.
Lanie: Castle, he's mid-20s.
Richard: You ever heard of a brilliant doctor named Doogie Howser?

Richard: So, what are we supposed to do, just stand here?
Captain: Not you, Mr. Castle. All non-essential personnel must evacuate.
Richard: Oh, no. I *am* essential personnel.
Kate: Castle, it's okay.
Captain: We'll take good care of her. I got guys downstairs right now figuring this out. Meantime, Detective, sit tight. I'll check back with you soon.
[Mahoney gives a "lead the way" gesture]
Richard: I appreciate it. I'm staying.

Martha: Boy, I wish I'd had these reality shows in my day. No script, overacting, screaming at everybody. What a gig.

[Castle leads Beckett into his bedroom with her eyes closed]
Kate: Castle, I swear, if you're bringing me face-to-face with Linus, I'm gonna pull my gun out and shoot him.

Javier: Yo, we got a lead.
Richard: We need to come up with a superhero name for Alan.
Alan: No, no, we really don't.
Javier: How about...
[in a dramatic tone]
Javier: ... Safety Man?
Richard: No, that's terrible.

Richard: How you feeling?
Alan: You know, I'm grateful. Especially for the new friend I made.
[to Lanie]
Alan: I- I sure hope we could stay in touch.
Richard: Are you kidding? You and me, this is the start of a beautiful...
Kate: [patting his arm] I don't think he's talking to you.

Kate: [Castle is theorizing about the murder] And I don't suppose that you have a particular case of Paul's in mind, do you? Or proof? Or suspects?
Richard: No. But I will, once you identify who met Paul at the park.

[while in an elevator, Beckett hands Castle a wad of cash]
Richard: What's this?
Kate: Your winnings from the other night. I'm not an idiot. I know you threw the last hand.
Richard: [pause] How did you figure it out?
Kate: That's not the point.
Richard: [realizing] Oh, my mother called you, didn't she?
Kate: [turns to Castle and gets in his face] You owe me a rematch.

Kevin: [ending a phone call] So, that was Barry from the Love Shackle. He says the cuff might be theirs, but he'd have to examine them closely to know for sure.
Kate: Well, then have Evidence pull them and tell them I'm coming.
Richard: [as Beckett leaves] Oh, field trip trip to a sex store.
[whispering to Ryan and Espositio]
Richard: I love this case.

Evan: [to Castle] They never get the details right, not in books, movies. They always write us as clowns and thugs. They never stop to think that maybe we got mortgages, families...

[first lines]
Mr. Flynn: [singing] I think I'll go for a walk outside now / The summer sun's calling my name / I hear ya now / I just can't stay inside all day / I gotta get out get me some of those rays.

[last lines]
Alexis: Being an adult really sucks.
Richard: Yeah, and you've spent *way* too much time having to be one. So...
[Castle goes into the hall and gets another scooter]
Richard: I'm ordering you to be a kid.
Alexis: Don't you think I'm a little old for that?
Richard: I am not too old for it, so you are definitely not too old for it. Don't you think we should at least test them out?
Alexis: Okay.
Richard: Okay.
[both get ready on scooters]
Richard: Where do you wanna go?
Alexis: [laughs] I don't know. Ice cream?
Richard: How about pizza? After this case, I might be off ice cream for a while.
Alexis: [laughs] Okay.

Alexis: [approaching Castle and Martha in Castle's office] What are you guys watching?
Richard: I'm watching. She's butting in.

Richard: Can I say something that'll... probably annoy you?
Kate: Since when do you ask for permission?
Richard: Touché.

[after Beckett informs a city councilman's widow of his death]
Richard: Can't be easy, breaking that kind of news.
Kate: Yeah, well, thanks for not making it a joke.
Richard: Hey, I'm a wise-ass, not a jackass.

Kate: n the meantime, we should interrogate Natalia Roosevelt.
Chief: Oh, I already spoke to her. She has no motive for killing Franklin.
Kate: And did you ask her about being his mistress?
Chief: [stunned] No... She didn't mention that.
Richard: Yeah... suspects tend to hold back on stuff like that.

Javier: Any news from Beckett?
Richard: Uh, she texted me a couple of hours ago, said she found him, but I haven't heard from her since.
Javier: Maybe they're catching up.
Richard: Sure. No, sure, they got a lot in common. She can talk about all the people she's put in prison, and he can talk about all the people he's met in prison.

Kevin: This is Lieutenant Delia Burton. She's a fire investigator with FDNY. Detective Beckett, Mr. Castle.
Kate: Nice to meet you. So this was arson?
Lt. Delia Burton: Well, it's looking that way. I found miniscule traces of accelerant at the flashpoint.
Richard: So the killer set the fire to cover up the murder?
Lt. Delia Burton: Except there's no accelerant on the body, and the fire's flashpoint is deep in the building. You know, normally when you're disposing of a body, you're gonna make sure it burns.
Kate: So maybe our victim surprised the arsonist.
Richard: And the arsonist killed him, silencing him as a witness?
Lt. Delia Burton: That's how it looks to me. Then again, homicide's not my specialty.
Kate: No. Uh, but fire is. Would you mind keeping me in the loop in case you find anything else?
Lt. Delia Burton: Sure. As soon as I know what happened, so will you.
[the building creaks]
Richard: Whoa. What was that?
Lt. Delia Burton: The building. You guys should probably go.
Richard: [turning and hurrying away] Sounds good. See ya!
Kate: [embarrassed] I'm marrying him.

Richard: So Bailey was using his pickup-artist skills to sleep with Ron Hill's wife and steal corporate secrets. Man, there's a penetrating enemy lines joke here somewhere.

Kate: Seriously, Castle, what were you thinking?
Richard: Well, I wanted to surprise you.
Kate: By putting my gift in Gates' blazer? Okay, I'm surprised.
Richard: Well, why do you and Gates have to wear such similar blazers?
Kate: Did you write a note?
Richard: Of course I wrote a note. I'm a writer.
Kate: Was it romantic?
Richard: It's Valentine's Day, so, yeah, it was romantic.
Kate: Did you put my name on it?
[Castle tries to remember]
Kate: Oh, God, Castle, please, did you put my name on it?
Richard: I can't remember. I put my name on it, I know that much.
Kate: [groans in frustration] Oh! If Gates finds out that we're dating, then that's it. We're not gonna be working together anymore.
Richard: Why do you think I've been trying so hard to get it back?
Kate: Oh, we will get it back. Right when we get to the precinct. But right now we've got a murder to solve... Maybe our last.

Kevin: So, it looks like your shoplifter isn't our killer, after all. Guard at Book Mart confirms that he caught him trying to steal a copy of "The Da Vinci Code".
Richard: "The Da Vinci Code". Maybe he thought it could help him decipher the document, thinking it's some kind of, uh, ancient, religious cryptogram, prophesizing the coming zombie apocalypse.
Mike: Is he always like this?
Kate: No, it's usually about CIA conspiracies.
Richard: I was really close on one of those.

[last lines]
Richard: [as Bracken is carried away in the back of a police cruiser] She's proud of you. Wherever she is, she's proud.
Kate: I never could have done this without you.

Richard: So, where are we on Watergate?
Kate: So the plot thickens. The building manager at Ella's apartment remembers letting an exterminator into her place about a month ago.
Richard: Usually exterminators get rid of bugs.
Kate: Only, this one *didn't*. The company that he worked for doesn't exist. I mean, what is this about, Castle? Why would someone target Ella?
Richard: Well, you already heard and rejected my theory.
Kate: Yeah, but your theory doesn't explain the little detail that Lanie just found out. There's black coral on the sole of Ella's shoe. And it wasn't from the dumpster.
Richard: Well, that doesn't make any sense. Black coral is found in the tropics.
Kate: Exactly. So how did this end up on her shoe?

[as part of the investigation, Castle went undercover at a divorce attorney's office]
Kate: When you were in that divorce lawyer's office, I was watching.
Richard: Why, Captain Beckett, I had no idea. I feel so violated.
Kate: [laughs] Look, I know you were just playing a role, but... When she asked you if there was any hope for us, and you didn't say anything, I was...
Richard: Kate... I have never given up hope. Not since the day we met. And that'll never change until you tell me it should.
Kate: Well, then don't change... Ever.

Richard: See? The story. It's our secret ingredient.
Kate: Except when your storytelling devolves into wild speculation. Then it's just maddening.
Richard: Hey, that wild speculation almost always points us to our killer.
[flashback montage]
Richard: I said *almost* always.

Kate: By the way, it was my mother, not my father.
[pause]
Kate: We were supposed to go to dinner together, my mom, my dad and I, and she was gonna meet us at the restaurant. But she never showed.
[pause]
Kate: Two hours later, we went home... and there was a detective waiting for us. Detective Raglan.
[pause]
Kate: They found her body. She had been stabbed.
Richard: A robbery?
Kate: No.
[pause]
Kate: She still had her money and purse and jewelry.
[pause]
Kate: And it wasn't a sexual assault, either. They attributed it to gang violence. Random wayward event. So, just like in Melanie's case, they couldn't think outside the box. So they just tried to package it up nicely. And the killer was never caught.
Richard: Why do you wear the watch?
Kate: My dad took her death hard. He's sober now. Five years. So...
[points to the watch]
Kate: this is for the life that I saved. And...
[pulls out a ring hanging from a necklace]
Kate: this is for the life that I lost.
[pause]
Kate: So... I guess your Nikki Heat has a back-story now, Castle.
Richard: I don't know. Uh... I did kind of like the hooker-by-day, cop-by-night thing. But, uh... I guess a... heavy emotional angle could work, too.
Kate: Well, don't bewilder your audiences with substance on my account, Castle.

Richard: Uh, wh-what are you doing here?
Meredith: Alexis! Oh, my poor baby.
Alexis: Aren't you supposed to be in Paris?
Meredith: Not without my daughter. And since you can't go to Paris, I'm bringing Paris to you. French pastries and "Funny Face". We can enjoy them as I nurse you back to health.
Richard: Meredith, how- why-why so much luggage?
[Meredith gives him a coy smile and realization dawns on him]
Richard: Oh.

[while entering a suspects apartment, Esposito starts a whispered conversation]
Javier: Hey bro, I just want you to know... I just thought you should know that I really value our friendship.
Richard: Okay. Thanks.
Javier: It's priceless to me.
Richard: Great.
Javier: But if we could put a price on it, what would that be?
Richard: What are you talking about?
Javier: I just wanna know how much our friendship would be *worth* if you were...
[Castle turns on a light and sees a body]
Richard: *Dead*!

Javier: Wh-uh, Beckett and Castle? Wh-ah-wh, when did they start?
Kevin: I'm not sure. But I know they were together that weekend in the Hamptons.
Javier: Why wouldn't she tell us?
Kevin: I guess she was afraid Gates would find out and use NYPD regs to give Castle the boot. I was gonna keep it a secret myself, but, uh, under the circumstances...
Javier: Normally, I'd be happy for them.
Kevin: Yeah... Hey... you don't really think that Castle had anything to do with this, do you?
Javier: No, come on, man. He's my friend, too... The best thing we can do is try to prove this evidence wrong.

Richard: So, where do we stand on this mysterious implant?
Kate: It is not an implant. Lanie says that it's a metal fragment. She's running tests on it right now.
Richard: How'd it get up her nose?
Kate: Well, maybe it was a piece of the altitude chamber that got lodged up there.
Richard: The altitude chamber we haven't found.
Kate: Yet. The altitude chamber that we haven't found yet. And I'm sure that as soon as we do, it will lead us straight to our killer.
Richard: I noticed you said "killer", and not "Ted Carter".
Kate: Yeah, Carter alibied out. He ordered pizza the night of Marie's murder and signed for it at 8:25.
Richard: Alibis in thirty minutes or less.

Kate: It's Sunday morning. Shouldn't you be slinking home from a scandalous liaison?
Richard: Would you be jealous if I were?
Kate: In your dreams.
Richard: Actually, in my dreams, you're never jealous. In my dreams, you just join...
[Beckett sticks her bear claw into his mouth to shut him up; he takes a bite and chews]
Richard: Hmm. Mmm. So, Montgomery called and said "Come down right away," so it must be gruesome.
Kate: Try not to get so giddy every time we go to a crime scene, okay?

Kate: [referring to Alexis] You know, she's got an amazing brain. I mean, if she wanted to, she'd make an incredible lawyer.
Richard: Yeah, like I don't lose enough arguments to her already. What about you? You ever regret it? Not getting your law degree?
Kate: Um, I'd rather take criminals down than send them up.
Richard: Really?
Kate: Mm-hmm.
Richard: Because with your mind, I bet you could've made Chief Justice. You have all the qualifications. You're smart, you are intimidating, and you look very, very good in a robe.
Kate: Wow. Really?
Richard: Mmm.
Kate: Care to take a ten minute recess in my chambers?
Richard: If it please the court, I would.
[she laughs and leans in to kiss when her phone rings]
Kate: Oh. I think we're gonna need a continuance.
Richard: Uh, objection.
Kate: Overruled.
[answers phone]
Kate: Beckett.

Kate: [to Castle, Ryan, and Esposito] No one outside of this immediate family ever needs to know about this. As far as the world is concerned, Roy Montgomery died a hero. We owe it to him. All of us.

Richard: Okay, so he uses his military connections to hire that team of mercenaries in the bank. And then to avoid loose ends, Ron rigged the C-4 to blow early.
Javier: Talk about cold-blooded.
Kate: And he did all of this just for the contents of Agnes' safety-deposit box? Castle, you said that there were photos and letters in there, right?
Richard: Yeah. Trapper John must have given them to Ron when he was being escorted back from the restroom. Because right after *that*, he faked a seizure and was let go.
Kate: But why? I mean, what was so special about his former mother-in-law's safety-deposit box?
Richard: Former mother-in-law?
Javier: Yeah, Ron was married to Agnes' daughter, Tanya. Both her and her son, Connor, were killed in a boating accident about a year ago.
Richard: No, no, Ron spoke about Connor, and he did not speak about him like he was dead. Connor is still alive.
Javier: Well, I don't know what to tell you, Castle, it says right here Connor's dead.
Kevin: I'm not so sure about that. Turns out that neither his wife, Tanya, nor Connor's body was ever recovered.
Richard: Why would the wife fake their deaths?
Kevin: Domestic abuse. However, Ron had the connections and the wealth to avoid prosecution.
Richard: So the system failed her. She and Connor couldn't escape Ron's abuse, so she faked their deaths and disappeared.
Kate: Yeah, but to disappear, she had to walk away from her former life.
Richard: Sever ties with everything and everyone she ever knew.
Kate: Except she couldn't, especially with her mom, Agnes.
Richard: Which is what the safety-deposit box was for. It's a means of communication. It's like a Cold War drop box in some John le Carré novel. Only... Tanya wouldn't be able to risk making the drops. So who would make the drops for her?
Kevin: Our mystery man, who was posing as Agnes' dead husband. He was Tanya's middleman.
Kate: Okay, so Tanya sends the photos and the letters to the middleman. The middleman puts them in the safety-deposit box for Agnes. The box serves as a mailbox.
Richard: Only it's better than a mailbox 'cause it's locked up inside a bank.
Kevin: Ron must have suspected that they fake their deaths, and that's when he bugged Agnes' home.
Javier: And when Ron found out about the box, he killed Agnes for the key.
Richard: Right, and with the clock ticking, he hired that crew to stage the bank robbery to get to the box with that key.
Kate: You know, those photos and letters will say exactly where his wife and son are hiding. He's on his way there now, and we know what he's gonna do once he gets there.
Richard: He's gonna kidnap his son and kill his wife.

Hayley: The Falcon Unit, it's a private company that specializes in transporting sensitive and occasionally illegal items for wealthy clients.
Javier: So our victim was a transporter. Like the movie?
Kevin: That explains the armored sports car and secret compartment.
Kate: So what was in the briefcase?
Hayley: I'm afraid the answer to that comes with a price. I want in on the investigation.
Kate: And what's in this for you?
Hayley: The item in the briefcase has a rather large insurance policy. The insurance company's hired me to recover it.
Kate: You know, this isn't a treasure hunt. We're trying to solve a homicide.
Hayley: And your victim was killed for that briefcase. So, you find your killer, I find my missing item, everyone goes home happy. Hmm?

Richard: [about Beckett] How's she doing?
Captain: Lockwood's in the wind. Everything about her mom's case just went to hell in a handbasket. How do you think?

[Castle stops reading from the diary]
Kate: And?
Richard: And... that's it. That was the last entry in the diary.
Kate: What do you mean, that's it? What happened to Joe? What happened to Vera?
Richard: I don't know.
Kate: Well, why would you tell a story when you don't know the ending?
Richard: If you wanted a beginning and a middle and an end, I have 27 novels you could choose from?

Kate: So you got a story to explain all of this? The old woman in the cage? John Doe with his identity removed? Us handcuffed, but still alive?
Richard: Yeah, I don't think that's a story you want to hear.
Kate: Why not?
Richard: With those elements? I can't think of a version that ends well. Not even a Disney version.

[deleted scene]
Richard: Hey.
Kate: Hey. Couldn't sleep.
Richard: The case?
Kate: Mm. Yeah, among other things.
Richard: You know what you need? Both of us, actually; a long vacation. Just turn off our brains. What do you say, next month after the book is in, we take a couple weeks and go out to the Hamptons, just the two of us?
Kate: [not entirely invested] Yeah, that sounds great.
Richard: It will be. Now, quit thinking so much. Makes your forehead all wrinkly; like I'm dating a Shar Pei.
Kate: Is that what we're doing? Dating?
Richard: Dating, being with, semi-cohabitating. Tell you what we're not doing: sleeping. Come on back to bed.
Kate: [quietly, as he turns to leave] Yeah, I'll be there in a minute.

[entering Castle's office where Castle is writing]
Martha: Darling...
Richard: One second. I'm just about to toss a guy off the Brooklyn Bridge.
Martha: Oh, I am sure that...
[moves around to read the screen]
Martha: Carter Damien would appreciate a short reprieve.
Richard: [finishing up] Too late. He just went kersplat. Now, how can I help you?
Martha: I've invited my acting class to come here Friday night to do the Nora scenes from "A Doll's House".
Richard: Thank you for the warning.
[whispers]
Richard: I will make myself scarce.
Martha: No, no, no. No, no, darling, this class could *really* benefit from your perspective as a, as a writer. No, you definitely should be here.
Richard: Mother, what's going on?
Martha: There's a lovely girl in the class...
Richard: Oh, Mother...
Martha: ...and I just thought maybe...
Richard: ...you're not trying to fix me up again. Haven't you learned your lesson after the last fiasco?
Martha: Fiasco? You married her.
Richard: Yes, and how did that marriage end?
Martha: Honey, I am just trying to help you. You have to admit that your social life has been a bit anemic as of late.
Richard: Now I want to throw myself off the Brooklyn Bridge.

Kevin: We just got word on the security footage from the airport. Cameras did pick up a blue, late-model Malibu leaving the area. But its license plate was blacked out.
Kate: So, basically, we've got nothing still, right? Just a bunch of dead ends. Everywhere I look, it's just a bunch of dead ends.
Richard: You know, whoever planned this escape for Lockwood knew they would need someone on the inside. If Ryker was such a straight arrow, why would they approach him?
Javier: He was a soft target because of his financial troubles.
Richard: How would they know that?
Kate: They found him the same way we did. Financial records. They ran financials on everybody in that prison.
Richard: Who would have that kind of authority?
Kate: A cop. Or someone who was a cop. So this third cop wasn't Lockwood's target. This third cop was the one who was holding Lockwood's leash. He's the one who's behind this whole thing. Okay, I want us to pull reports with Raglan and McCallister's name on it.
Kevin: We did all that already.
Javier: Months ago. There's nothing.
Kate: No, no, no. I'm not talking about arrest reports. I'm talking about performance evaluations.
Javier: We went through everything. We looked at every cop we could find who could have worked with them. None of them were our third guy.
Kate: Well, then check it again. And when you're done with that, check it again.
Kevin: Beckett, we want him as bad as you.
Kate: The hell you do! *Nobody* wants him as bad as I do, okay? Nobody. So check it again!

[while examining the Murder Board, Beckett notices Castle staring at her intently]
Richard: If something were to happen to me, I want you to watch out for Alexis.
[Beckett turns and looks at Castle]
Richard: She looks up to you... And if her boyfriends get frisky, you can shoot them.
Kate: Nothing's gonna happen to you.
Richard: But... if it does...
Kate: [long pause] Okay.
Richard: And would you also go into my closet and get rid of my porn collection before she finds it?
[as Beckett gives him a look, Esposito appears]
Javier: Don't worry, bro. I got you covered on that.

Richard: Besides, Nikki Heat is a far more complex and nuanced a character. She is. And I'm a far more experienced writer. More mature.
[Beckett just looks at him]
Richard: One out of two is...

Javier: So the first time I meet your parents, you're asking me to lie to them?
Lanie: I'll be lying to them too, but I've been doing it longer.

[Castle calls Beckett to allow Hayley to hack past Vikram's firewall]
Kate: Hey, Rick. What's up? You decided to buy that boat?
Richard: Well, someone's in a good mood. You thinking about our naked time?
Kate: Um... no.
Richard: Well, I am. Haven't stopped thinking about it. As a matter of fact, um... tell you what, how about round two tonight? My place, no one has to know.
Kate: Yeah, I can't. I have to work tonight.
[Hayley gestures to keep her talking]
Richard: Um, well, I thought, uh, being a Captain meant you could delegate.
Kate: Well, you know what, I actually have to do a few things myself.
Richard: Well, maybe I can help. What are you working on?
Kate: [glancing at Vikram] Um... Captain stuff?
Richard: Well, then...
[Hayley gestures she's decrypted Vikram's first firewall]
Richard: ...Then good luck with your Captain stuff. Bye.
[hangs up]
Kate: Hello?

Kevin: The murder weapon is missing from the weapons cage assigned to Bardot's company, Company 38.
Javier: Lock on the CCTV security closet was jimmied open. Someone killed the security cameras in the weapons room between 7:30 and 7:35 last night.
Deputy: At that hour, it's mainly recruits who are left in the building. All faculty resides off-campus. And only members of Company 38 have access to that weapons cage.
Kate: So our killer is one of Bardot's fellow recruits.
[cut to training class with recruits]
Kate: [continues as voice-over] Fourteen suspects who eat, drink, and sleep police training and techniques.
Chambers: Captain on deck.
[cut back to Deputy Commissioner's office]
Kate: Who have spent *months* learning how we catch killers.
[cut to training class]
Kate: [voice-over] Which makes them uniquely equipped to plan a murder. So we are gonna have to use every trick in the book to uncover who killed Daniel Bardot.

Kate: A financier? What's Jade doing trying to get close to a guy like that?
Javier: Don't know, but I ran Saito's name though the system. It was flagged by Organized Crime.
Kate: Organized crime like Yakuza?
Javier: Yep. The rumor is he's high up on the chain in the Izumi clan out of Okinawa. His legitimate businesses are just suspected fronts for money laundering, drug trafficking, and extortion.
Kate: So, what's a ballet dancer doing going after a guy like this? What could she possibly want from him?
Kevin: Well, odds are whatever it was got her killed.

Javier: Alexis, we went through the case files like you asked. I gotta say, nothing in there that says this guy's innocent.
Alexis: What about the swabs from Kim Tolbert's body that we submitted to the New York Trace Lab for retesting? I mean, they've had them for weeks.
Kevin: Well, we've been calling every day to move things along, but it's not in our jurisdiction.
Alexis: You don't understand. A man's going to die in three days unless we do something.
Kevin: No, we do understand. There's just not much that we can do.
Javier: What about your dad? Have you talked to him about this case?
Kevin: Yeah, maybe he'll spot something that no one else did.

[last lines]
[Castle has another flash-back memory while in bed]
Kate: Mmm. What is it?
Richard: I wasn't in Korea. I was in Koreatown in Los Angeles... Beckett, I've got to go to L.A.

[Alexis struggling over a decision whether to study or spend a weekend in the Hamptons with her girlfriends while Castle is doing experiments with liquid nitrogen]
Alexis: When I'm studying, I'll want to be at the beach with the girls, and when I'm on the beach, I'll feel guilty for not studying.
Martha: Well, don't look at me. I'm from the "have your cake and eat it, too," school of decision making. I say, do both.
Richard: Or... maybe by this weekend, I'll figure out a way to take this tank of... liquid nitrogen and... build it into a... weather machine.
[severity in his voice builds]
Richard: I'll make it rain. Your friends will have to cancel their trip. You won't have to choose, and then we can take over the world!
[laughs maniacally]
Richard: Mwahahahahahahahahaha!

Richard: The eternal struggle between work and play. The trick is, when you grow up, find work that feels like play.

Kate: Hey, I got your text.
Richard: Hey. I just wanted to check in with you. You know, it must be weird for you, being back here at the precinct, working a case.
Kate: Yeah. Yeah, it is.
Richard: Yeah, especially since McCord's little gag order prevents you from accessing your most effective investigating tool. Me.
[hands Beckett a cup of coffee]
Kate: [laughs] Yeah, you are a tool, all right... Wow.
Richard: So, uh, she's not here right now, so what's the harm in giving me a little... tidbit?
Kate: [looks at her coffee] This is a bribe. Castle, you're *bribing* me with a *latte*?
Richard: No, I am not. Come on. Don't be ridiculous.
Kate: This is low, even for you.
Richard: Look, I can solve this. I just need a little more to go on.
Kate: Castle, you're not gonna "Castle" me on this one.

Richard: [in a shootout with Baylor] I've written this scene about a hundred times. We give him what he wants, you know how it ends? Badly. And by "badly", I mean us dead.
Kate: Just stay down.
Richard: You stay down.
Kate: I can't shoot him from down here.
Richard: Yeah, he can't shoot you, either.

Kevin: Maggie... You know, I pegged you for a lot of things, but never a killer.
Maggie: Yeah, I pegged you for a lot of things, but never a narc.
Kevin: Actually, see, I'm a homicide detective. Which is why I know that you killed Jimmy the baker.
Maggie: Jimmy the who?
Kate: Oh, God. Are we actually gonna play this game? It's late, I am tired. Officers went through your house, and they found your gun.
Kevin: Same caliber that killed Jimmy. It's only a matter of time before we get a ballistics match.

Kate: Hey.
M.E. Perlmutter: Well, hello, Captain. I'm- I'm glad you're around. I've been meaning to say how proud I am of you.
Kate: Oh.
[chuckles]
Kate: For what?
M.E. Perlmutter: For breaking up with Mr. Castle, of course. Now you're free to meet a man who can *really* appreciate you.
Kate: Um...
M.E. Perlmutter: Like my brother, Edgar.
Kate: Your, uh, brother?
M.E. Perlmutter: My identical twin.
Kate: Oh. There's two of you?
M.E. Perlmutter: I'd be happy to introduce you...
Kate: Yeah, no. Uh, no. But, uh, thank you, Perlmutter. It's just that I'm- I'm not quite ready to date right now.

Kate: We have an Earthbound solution to this mystery, and you are disappointed. I get it. But... that? Really?
Richard: Come on, Marie said she had a life changing event. What could be more life changing than being beamed up by this guy?
[showing Beckett the victim's book about alien abductions, with a picture of an alien on the cover]
Kate: Come on, Castle, we all know that there's no such thing as alien abductions.
Richard: And yet most abductees report he same experience: the white light, the memory flashes.
Kate: That's because they all read the same books, so of course they describe the same event. The dark, lonely road, the bright light out of nowhere, memories of being poked and prodded.
Richard: I believe the word you're looking for is "probed". And then, of course, there's the alien implant that's used to track the abductees.
Kate: [looking at a picture in the book Castle hands her] That reminds me of the LEGO I got stuck up my nose when I was six.
Richard: You what?

[last lines]
Kate: And if you tell anyone what I'm about to say, there's gonna be another shooting, but... I've gotten used to you pulling my pigtails... I have a hard job, Castle, and having you around makes it... a little more fun.
Richard: [pause] Your secret's safe with me.

Richard: [shouting over Beckett's gunfire] Wouldn't it be more of a challenge if they weren't standing still?
Kate: [stops shooting] Okay, Castle... You show me how it's done.
Richard: Whoo!
Kate: [sets up a new target] All yours.
[Castle clears his throat as he takes a one handed stance with his right hand]
Kate: It's not a duel, Scaramouche. Here.
[Beckett turns Castle around]
Kate: Square off to target... Feet shoulder-distance apart... Okay. Gauntlet your right fist in your left palm.
Richard: [Castle fires into the wall] Whoa! Shot too soon.
Kate: Yeah, well. You know, we could always just cuddle, Castle.
Richard: Oh, funny. And a smile! Good.
[Castle fires again, hitting the target but missing the silhouette]
Kate: [sounding dubious] Well, that's better.
Richard: Hmm. You know, I, uh, came down to ask you if I could, uh, take home some of those stolen property photos.
Kate: Photos of the jewelry? Why?
Richard: I don't know, just thought it might spark something.
[shoots again, hitting the target in the groin area]
Richard: Ooh. That's got to hurt.
Kate: Tell you what. You put any of the next three in the 10-ring, and I will give you the files.
Richard: Yeah?
Kate: Yeah.
Richard: [quickly fires three shots right in the 10-ring. Beckett stares at the target, stunned] You're a very good teacher.

Kate: [Castle is dumbstruck by Beckett's sexy Old West outfit] Eyes back in their sockets, cowboy. We got a murder to solve.

Richard: An M.E. investigates the murder of her own doppelganger. It'd be a great story, if Lanie weren't living it.

Hans: [with a heavy accent] Derek... was a little bitch. Do you know how many hours he spent rehearsing our Privates of the Caribbean routine? Hmm?
[Beckett shakes her head no]
Hans: Zero. He was all artsy-fartsy with his acting auditions this and play rehearsals that. Hans Von Mannschaft is the one doing the real work out there every night.
Richard: [laughing] Hans Von Mannschaft? That's a hell of a stage name.
Hans: I'll have you know I come from a long line of *proud* Von Mannschafts.
Kate: And have any of them served time for murder?
Hans: [dropping his accent] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Murder?
Richard: Careful, Hans. Your New Jersey is starting to show.

Scarlet: Last week, there was this guy in Midtown. He practically attacked Beau in the street, saying that he would make Beau pay for whatever it was he did.
Richard: Do you know who this guy was?
Scarlet: No, but he got in Beau's face. And he was yelling at Beau, saying that he had double-crossed him. He got physical, so I, uh, stepped in.
Richard: And then what?
Scarlet: Broke his nose and a couple of ribs, I think.
[cut to the observation room]
Javier: Oh, did you hear that? She broke his nose.
Kevin: Yeah, so?
Javier: So? That's hot.
Kevin: Who are you?

Kate: Look, the fact is you had means, motive, and opportunity. And we checked with your hotel. You left at 9:45 p.m. and returned at 11. That's the *exact* time-window of Annabelle's murder.
Gabriel: I was busy handling a personal issue that I would rather not discuss.
Kate: You're facing a murder charge.
Richard: Okay, look, we already know about the threesome with the Lt. Chloes. How bad can it be?
Gabriel: Well, let's just say my, um... weakness for fleeting romance... left me with a burning desire to see my doctor last night.
Richard: And it just got worse.
[Beckett gags and covers her mouth]

Richard: [answering his phone] Hello?
Martha: Oh, sweetheart, I...
Richard: Whoa, Mother, slow down. What's-What's wrong?
Martha: ...and I just, I just wanted to make sure you were all right.
Richard: Why wouldn't I be all right?
Martha: No one is buying your book.
Richard: What are you talking about?
Martha: I am standing in the middle of the bookstore, and no one is buying your book.
Richard: Okay. What are you doing in a bookstore?
Martha: I was hungry. I-I came in for a pastry. And there they were, all your books, just... sitting there.
Richard: Mother, they only just went on sale two hours ago. What did you expect? A line out the door?
Martha: There was one for the last Harry Potter.
Richard: [pinching the bridge of his nose] Yes, well, uh, Derrick Storm is not Harry Potter.
Martha: Clearly.
Richard: [lowering his voice] No one's bought one?
Martha: Hang on, kiddo, hang on.
[a customer approaches the table and picks up a copy of Castle's book, then glances at his cardboard cutout]
Martha: [in anticipation] Ah...
[the customer puts the book back down]
Martha: No.

[discussing the victim's dramatic transformation from private equity manager to professional Santa]
Javier: It's pretty extreme, I know. And I'll tell you this much, he didn't go all Santa for the money. Back in the day, he used to pull down a half a mil a year. As Santa, he made a tenth of that...
Kevin: You can make that much as a Santa? Maybe I should switch jobs, huh?
Javier: What? Gain two hundred pounds and have a bunch of rugrats sitting on your lap with dirty diapers?
Kevin: [in disgust] Yeah, thanks for that visual.
Javier: Oh, here's another thing. I pulled Edmund's financials. On the night he was killed, he withdrew two grand from his ATM.
Richard: He didn't have that money on him when we found him. His wallet was empty.
Kate: All right, take a look at the ATM footage and see if anyone was with him. He might have been robbed.
Richard: Uh, robbed and then launched into space?
Kate: And how is that less plausible than your sleigh?
Richard: I think you mean less "clausible."

Anjelica: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer.
Richard: You don't have to, but you might want to listen.
Kate: We know what Wendell stole.
Anjelica: That's it, I'm calling my attorney.
Richard: Uh... may I?
Kate: Yes.
Richard: Thank you.
Kate: Mm-hmm.
Richard: I've worked a lot of murder cases, waiting patiently for the day I could unequivocally exclaim...
[theatrically]
Richard: The butler did it!

Javier: According to Peakmore's visitor's logs, the person who came to see Shaw was named Dennis Wormwood.
Kate: Oh, good. Any luck finding him?
Javier: No, because it's a fake name.
Kate: Okay. Well, Peakmore must have security videos. So pull the feed, see if you can ID him.
Javier: I did. Check this out.
[shows her a photo of Wormwood with his face distorted]
Kate: Oh, that's strange.
Javier: Creepy is more like it. So, do you think Castle's right...
Kate: No, no, no, no. Don't even add fuel to that fire.

[repeated lines]
Kate: Thanks for
[whatever Castle has done]
Richard: Always.

Richard: Michelle taught me everything I know about Vodun.
Michelle: Which, obviously, isn't much. That scene with the topless girl and the chicken blood? What was that?
[Kate looks away, trying not to laugh]
Richard: I took a few liberties.

Kate: But, Castle, why would you be abducted on our wedding day and end up in Thailand?
Richard: Worst bachelor party ever?

Lanie: Looks like your basic, garden-variety suicide.
Kate: But you said on the phone that there was something that wasn't consistent with a suicide.
Lanie: Looks like suicide, but his shooting hand, more specifically, his right index finger, has a slight abrasion, visible only under the scope. Department autopsy protocol doesn't even call to look for that kind of thing.
Kate: And the abrasion means what to you?
Lanie: That someone may have helped him pull the trigger. Plus, toxicology has his blood alcohol content at .28.
Richard: .28?
Kate: So he was drunk.
Richard: *Way* drunk!
Lanie: At .28, he may not have even been conscious.
Kate: So Max was murdered.

Martha: [sighs] I, um--I got tired waiting for Zane last night, so I just, uh, crawled into bed. Never could I imagine what happened to him.
Richard: Mother, why are you--
[sighs]
Richard: Why-- Why--
[Esposito pokes him]
Richard: Why were you in Zane's bed?
Martha: Because he was late for our session.
Kevin: What kind of session?
Javier: Is that what they call it?
Richard: That's enough.
Javier: Okay.
Richard: Mother, are you saying you were sleeping with Zane Cannon?
Martha: Oh, drop the gavel, Richard! I was his acting coach, certainly not his mistress. The poor boy was out of his depth trying to play Hamlet, so he was referred to me.

Alexis: What's in the box?
Richard: This is Philip Westlake's murder file. I told Beckett I'm gonna solve the case.
Martha: Oh, Richard...
Richard: What? You're the one who told me to follow my heart.
Martha: Yes, but, you know...
Alexis: Dad, that case is older than me.
Richard: This doesn't sound like encouragement.

Brian: So, I was a little aggressive when Miss Baker didn't let my son into that school. But that doesn't mean I killed her.
Kate: "Bitch, I know where you live and you will never see me coming." That sounds like a death threat to me.
Brian: I was being dramatic.

[last lines]
[Alexis has just finished cleaning up the last traces of her party as Castle returns from Ryan's bachelor party]
Alexis: Hey.
[see's Castles appearance]
Alexis: What happened to you?
Richard: Nothing. Nothing. Wha-What's happened here?
Alexis: Nothing.
Richard: Where's the, um... Where's the little silver dog statue that's usually on the back of the couch?
Alexis: Uh, I think Gram said she needed it for set dressing for her play.
Richard: Oh.

Richard: How did you not lose hope?
Kate: I did lose hope, you know? But I... I would get it back. Developed rituals in order to hang onto it.
Richard: Like what?
Kate: It's stupid. It really doesn't matter.
Richard: No, I'd like to know.
Kate: I would stare at your photo on the murder board. And I started thinking that if I would look at it long enough every day that that would keep you alive.
Richard: I guess it worked.
Kate: And then I had this thing about your chair.
Richard: My chair at the precinct?
Kate: I wouldn't let anyone touch it. And then a night janitor came by, he tried to move the chair, and I freaked out and I... almost shot him.

Kate: So why the burial at sea?
Richard: The Vikings believed that that if you wanted to reach Valhalla, you needed a vessel.
Kate: Gun-toting Viking? That's your theroy?
Richard: No, no, no. They also launched their dead with a sacrificial woman... And some booze and a good horse.

Kate: Castle, you just apologized to me.
Richard: I rescind the apology. I take it back. She's in the fridge.
Kate: You know what? Let's just go downstairs and wait for the driver there.
Richard: I am not going anywhere until I see what's in that fridge.
Kate: What? You're gonna stay here and wait for him to open it?
Richard: If that's what it takes.
Kate: Okay, fine.
[turns to leave]
Richard: Where are you going?
Kate: Castle, I made plans for you. I dressed up for you. And I'm not gonna let you ruin this night.
Richard: So what are you gonna do?
Kate: I am going to go over there and open that bloody fridge, and then you and I are going to dinner and never talking about this again.
Richard: No, don't do it. It's too dangerous.
Kate: Not as dangerous as me if you blow up my plans.
Richard: What if he doesn't let you in?
Kate: Look at me. He's gonna let me in.

Kate: [answers phone] Hey, Castle, everything okay?
Richard: [on phone] Red or white?
Kate: What?
Richard: What kind of wine do you want with your salmon? I'm cooking you dinner tonight to make up for getting you in trouble at work.
Kate: That's so sweet.
Richard: Yeah, I know. Um, so how's the case going?
Kate: Castle.
Richard: No, I- Just wanna know when to start cooking. Trust me, I got the message. Cone of silence. Church and state. No more interference.
Kate: Okay, well then, in that case, red. And, um...
[looks around, then quietly]
Kate: ... can you get that kind that makes me feel all...
Richard: I'll buy a whole case. See you tonight.

Martha: I did an NYPD Blue once, remember?
Alexis: You were the crazy homeless woman.
Richard: And some might say still are.

Dempsey's: Our boss wants to see you, boyo.

Richard: He is not gonna make it easy for us to catch him, is he?
Javier: No, he's smart, and he's patient. It's part of a sniper's DNA.

Javier: Crystal Sky? That name's so fake it sounds like something out of one of your books.
Richard: [chuckles] Right?
[realizing]
Richard: Whoa. Wh-Wh-What is that supposed to mean?
Javier: What do you mean, "What is that supposed to mean?" Derrick Storm, Nikki Heat, Jameson Rook? Would it kill you to name someone "Gonzales" every once in a while?

[sees Bracken enter the precinct]
Kate: I was gonna finally put this guy away, Castle. And now I'm protecting the man that murdered my mother.

Kate: So, we've got a BOLO out on Shane and his car.
Javier: Freaking kids, man. I don't know how you do it, bro.
Richard: Ooh, no, no. I lucked out with Alexis. At a certain point, you realize you're just... dealing with someone who hasn't been around as long as we have. They have to find their way.

[Cosmo is crying while Castle is holding him]
Richard: This is so not fun.
Kate: Castle, if this is a part of your plan to turn me into a baby person, it's not working.
Richard: It isn't. Well, it was at first, but... he was so good at the precinct.
Kate: I thought you were the Baby Whisperer.
Richard: I am. There's something wrong with this baby.

[Working security at the charity event]
Javier: Man, these guys look guilty of *tax* evasion, not home invasion.
Kevin: Yeah, well, appearances can be deceiving.
[both turn to see Castle and a dressed up Beckett coming down the red carpet]
Kevin: [to Beckett] Nice dress.
Javier: Yeah, what there is of it.
Kate: I'd let you borrow it, Esposito, but you stretched out the last one.

Richard: So why are you guys robbing this bank?
Trapper: Sutton's law. When asked why he robbed banks, Willie Sutton famously replied, "Because that's where the money is."
Richard: Except Willie Sutton never said that. It was a reporter who made up that quote. You see, writers, we're really good at altering reality to fit the narrative. And the story I see you guys spinning here... is really not about stealing money.
Trapper: Is that so?
Richard: You and your crew don't wear gloves. Obviously you're not worried about fingerprints, which means you're not in the system. And those accents? You're mercs, which means you're too smart to get on that bus. So, what was in that box? Why the C-4? And what are you really gonna do with us? You and your crew don't wear gloves. Obviously you're not worried about fingerprints, which means you're not in the system. And those accents? You're mercs, which means you're too smart to get on that bus. So... what was in that box? Why the C-4? And what are you *really* gonna do with us?
Trapper: [laughs] Oh, I like you. That's why I'm gonna kill you last.

[talking about the young fashion model that wrote her phone number on Castle's hand]
Kate: [to Ryan and Esposito] Rina used to baby-sit Alexis, fellas. So, as far as Big Rick here is concerned, she might as well be wearing a chastity belt.
Richard: Thank you for that visual image. That's... And also, thank you for calling me "Big Rick."

Kate: Is there any chance that this wasn't a homicide?
Lanie: None. It took brute force to puncture the victim's body with that branch. Someone had to shove him onto it.
Kate: So how does an escaped convict from Rikers Island end up in the middle of Central Park without anyone seeing him?
Lanie: It was late. Lividity puts the time of death between midnight and 2:00 a.m.
Kate: [to Ryan and Esposito] All right. Keep running prints. I'm gonna walk around, see what I can find.

Richard: That radiation detector of yours, does it have a scale on it? You know, like, "chest x-ray" to "Chernobyl".
Kate: Maxed out.
Richard: Oh.

Kate: Okay, Vikram, what have you got?
Vikram: I might have identified Allison Hyde's killer. Pulled footage from the hotel cameras around the time Hyde was killed. Managed to ID everyone except this guy.
[shows picture to Beckett]
Kate: Look, this doesn't mean anything. There's plenty of people who aren't in our facial recognition database.
Vikram: Didn't just use ours. Snuck into the NSA, ran him through their top-secret database. It's a civil liberties nightmare but very comprehensive. Our well-dressed man is a total ghost. So, unless you know a Ghostbuster, we're out of luck.
Kate: [sighs] I might know somebody. He's helped me out in the past and he's connected to this world, but he's technically dead, which means you're gonna have to dig him up.
Vikram: Just to be clear, you mean he faked his own death and now he's hiding under a new identity that you need me to uncover?
Kate: Yeah.
Vikram: Good, 'cause I'm not a huge fan of shoveling.

Chad: I-I heard that Lone Vengeance, uh, frequented Lower Manhattan. I-I roamed the streets, night after night, looking for him. I finally ran into him, uh... near Beekman and Theater Alley. I want to be his disciple. Maybe... his partner. It's-It's my destiny.
Richard: He doesn't want a partner.
Chad: How do you know?
Richard: Lone Vengeance.
[Chad is clueless, Castle adds emphasis]
Richard: *Lone*.
Chad: Oh.

[Ryan and Espo are in the elevator about to leave]
Kate: If you find that lamp and Castle's not there, I'm never gonna hear the end of it.
Javier: We'll have him meet us there.
Kate: Okay, great.
[elevator starts to close]
Kate: Oh... Can you just... Can you make sure that he gets dibs on the first rub, please?
Kevin: Mm-hmm.
Javier: Mm-hmm.
Kate: Good. Thanks. I owe you.
[elevator doors close, to herself]
Kate: Can't believe I said that.

[as the bachelor-party cop twins leave the photo shoot]
Javier: Hey, Beckett, how come *you* don't wear a uniform like that?
Kate: Because I don't wanna get paid in singles.

Rachel: You didn't find it odd that the hostage wasn't struggling?
Kate: She had a gun held to her head.
Rachel: She didn't cry out for help. Why?
Kate: Because she didn't wanna give away her accent. Fine. But the intel said that the operative worked alone.
Rachel: And that's the point of the exercise. Intel is sometimes wrong. *You* have to use your judgment, your instinct. Because the analyst that's gathering that intel, he's not the one that's gonna be catching a bullet. That's gonna be you, or worse, me. Now step up your game.

Kate: Where are we on the boyfriend?
Javier: His story checks out, video and a sign-in sheet.
Kate: Great. So now all we have is a cheating husband with a possible alibi and no cell phone to run the perp's fingerprints.
Kevin: I got something better.
Kate: Please tell me it's that the mayor wants him out of here.
Richard: You ever notice how she gets a little grumpy when she doesn't have a suspect?
Kevin: We got one now. Guess who wasn't where they say they were the day Sara Manning was killed?
Kate: [Ryan offers a Post-It note, but pulls it back when Beckett snatches for it] Who?
Kevin: Come on, you gotta guess.
Kate: [snatching at the Post-It again] Ryan... Ryan. I'm not guessing.
Kevin: [handing the Post-It over] You're a killjoy, you know that?
Richard: Exactly what I've been telling her.
Kate: [reading the note] No way.
Kevin: Pretty good, huh? Told you you should have guessed.

Richard: That's exactly what I mean. Hannah didn't stand a chance. I mean, she's a small-town, naive young woman, she was chum to piranhas.
Captain: Yeah, but look what she did to Bob.
Richard: Okay, okay. Do you really think that she played him? That Penelope was right about that?
Captain: Oh, that girl was smarter than anybody gave her credit for.
Richard: You know what? I think you're right.
Captain: What about you, Detective? Did you watch "Wives of Wall Street" last night?
Kate: I watched... an episode.
Richard: Just one episode? That's like eating one potato chip.

Richard: If you killed someone, you would tell me, right?
Alexis: Of course.
[pause]
Alexis: I'd need help hiding the body.

Kate: What is this, fan mail?
Richard: Oh, not exactly. Remember I went on "Good Morning America" a while back and offered a reward for proof of anyone who knew what happened to me during those eight weeks I disappeared?
Kate: But Castle, those letters are over a year old, and we've already proven that all the theories were ridiculous. Why are you re-reading them?
Richard: Looking to spark my imagination. I do but, honestly, these letters are not very inventive. They all either claim I was a victim of a government conspiracy, or abducted by aliens and probed. This guy even drew a diagram of me being violated by E.T.
Kate: [looking at drawing] Oh. Hmm.
Richard: I need inspiration, Beckett. And although Lester's knowledge of alien anatomy is commendable, it- it's just not enough.

Richard: It's kind of like a tradition, you know? Bonfires, roasting marshmallows, telling ghost stories, sleeping late. We've done it since she was five.
Kate: Sounds nice. Kind of magical, actually.
Richard: Yeah, you know what? You should come. Oh, it's right on the ocean. There's a secluded pool. You could lay out, work on your tan.
Kate: Wow, Castle, you are working really hard to see me in a swimsuit.
Richard: If you are not comfortable in a swimsuit, you could just skinny dip.

[last lines]
[while helping Alexis by cutting tomatoes for a salad, Castle cuts his finger]
Richard: What's the difference between curse and clumsy?
Alexis: I'll get a Band-Aid.
Richard: Get two.

Kate: [Castle is rambling after rescuing her] Castle, just shut up and kiss me.

Richard: Where are the predator drones? The black helicopters? All those SWAT teams repelling down on ropes?
Agent: Budget cuts

Martha: [to Castle] Oh, Darling, I invited Beckett to the reading tomorrow night. So you two might want to make a date of it.

Alexis: What's all the excitement about?
Richard: Only 'The New York Ledger's annual 10 Most Eligible Bachelors list, and guess who's on it?
Alexis: Who?
Richard: I don't know, but he must be the president of the Really-Good-Looking club.
Martha: [picking up the paper] Huh! Ranked number nine. Weren't you number seven last year?
Richard: Yes, and thank you for pointing out my shortcomings once again, Mother.

Richard: Good morning, my lovelies. Isn't it great to be alive?
Martha: Richard, are you feeling okay?
Richard: Never better. Because I know how to win Beckett back.
Alexis: Is she wanting to be won back?
Richard: When we first met, it was my roguish charm that caused Beckett to drop her guard, but it was my Sherlockian skills that made her fall in love with me. I just have to solve a few cases with her to show her that together, we are still magic.

[first lines]
Richard: All right, ladies of the Castle household, just a reminder that your portion for the holiday poem is due in less than... seventy-two hours.
[Beckett is freaked out a little]
Alexis: I just have to do a polish.
Richard: I can't wait to see it.
[to Beckett]
Richard: How's yours coming along? Are you ready for your big debut in the Castle family Christmas card?
Kate: [covering] Yeah, absolutely.

Kate: [at City Hall to file for their marriage license] T-minus 72 hours until we are married. This feels like a dream.
Richard: That's 'cause I'm dreamy.
Kate: Oh, shush.
Cassandra: Next?
Richard: [stepping up to the window] Ah. Here we are.
Cassandra: Mr. Richard Castle and Ms. Katherine Beckett.
Richard: That's us.
Cassandra: Proof of divorce?
[Castle hands over more paperwork; after a moment, Cassandra looks at Beckett expectantly]
Richard: I-Is there something wrong with my documents?
Cassandra: They're in order. Ms. Beckett, do you have yours?
Kate: Pardon me?
Cassandra: Your divorce paperwork.
Kate: I'm sorry, there's a mistake. I've never been married.
Cassandra: Well, according to this, you have. And it looks like you still are.
Kate: I'm married?
Richard: To whom?

Richard: You know, I've written characters like you. Cunning psychopaths so narcissistic they believe they can't be caught. Because they're smarter than everyone, and they need to prove it. Well, that's your story, Jerry... why you did everything. You needed to prove it. So I let you.
Jerry: What do you mean?
Richard: I let you bring me here. It was the only way to find you. I *needed* to find you so I could find her. But the truth, Jerry...
[flashback to earlier, where it's revealed Castle was talking to Ryan and Esposito]
Richard: We're not gonna find her. Not like this. Not by chasing him, not by playing his game. We need to take the game to him.
Javier: [handing Castle an earpiece] Put this deep in your ear, all right? All the way in.
[back to present]
Richard: The truth is... I lured you here. To watch you die. Are we clear?
Jerry: Clear about what?
Richard: Then take the shot.

Kurt: I told her I was innocent, that I didn't kill Justine and I begged her to look into the case. And she agreed to because she believed me.
Kate: Yeah, well, I'm a little more skeptical.
Richard: I can vouch for that.

Kevin: Prison duty roster. How'd you pull it off, sir?
Captain: They didn't make me captain just because I look good behind a desk.

Richard: [his phone chimes] Oh, Beckett, we have that, uh, appointment at the Cordova House.
Kate: Oh, Castle, I'm sorry. Duty calls. Can- Can you go without me? And see if it's as good as the pictures?
Richard: You trust me to make this decision on my own?
Kate: Can you go with Martha?

Kate: Look, I know everyone likes the violent drug dealer for this.
Captain: No, we love the violent drug dealer for this.
Kate: Only, the violent drug dealer's story makes more sense than our witnesses'.
Richard: Plus, and I know I'm new here, but... aren't you supposed to arrest the right guy?

Edward: The diamond is colorless. No blemishes, so a pristine cut. No internal clouding and, uh... nearly one hundred carats.
Javier: Whew! Man! Hey, how deep would my pockets have to be to afford a rock like that?
Edward: Detective, you are not tall enough to have pockets deep enough. But I would say it's worth... $60 million... Conservatively.
Javier: Yeah, I ain't that tall.

Kate: You're trying to drive me crazy, aren't you?
Richard: Well, apparently, I already do, if we end up with three kids.
Simon: [approaching] Would you like to know their names?
Richard: [simultaneously with Beckett] Yes!
Kate: [simultaneously with Castle] No!

[last lines]
Kate: [to Castle] Maybe there is a little more Nikki Heat in me than you think.

[going to question Genevieve, Castle rushes ahead and locks Beckett out of the interrogation room]
Richard: You may have everyone else fooled, but not me.
Kate: [from outside] Castle, let me in.
Richard: I am your master. I command you to tell me the truth.
Kate: Castle!
Richard: Are you a genie or not?
Genevieve: Can you let her in? Because you're seriously weirding me out.
Richard: I'm gonna take that as a maybe.
[unlocks the door]
Kate: I'd apologize, but his behavior is the least of your worries. You are accused of two homicides and connected to the theft and trafficking of millions of dollars in antiquities. So, your best bet is to start talking.
Genevieve: Look, I didn't kill anyone. And I was trying to keep the relics from falling into the wrong hands. And I would've, too, if I hadn't had to save your... reality-challenged husband.
Richard: I prefer "fantasy-augmented."

[first lines]
Kate: Oh, my... God! Oh, my God! You're proposing!
Richard: Okay. You're surprised.
Kate: Of course I'm surprised! I thought you were breaking up with me!
Richard: By offering you a ring?
Kate: Well, you just- You seemed so serious!
Richard: Yeah, of course I'm serious. This is the most serious thing I've ever done.

Richard: Well played, Ms. Streep.
Richard: Which Meryl? "Out Of Africa" or "Mamma Mia!"?

Richard: Spoiler alert!

Captain: Esposito and Ryan pulled security tape from an elevator in the rear entrance.
Kevin: Front door has a 24-hour doorman.
Javier: This is the elevator's cam. Our victim gets on the elevator with the laundry basket. Takes it down to the basement, to put the kid's laundry into the washer.
Kate: Mm-hmm.
Javier: Few minutes later, gets back on, goes all the way back up to the apartment. Then about forty minutes later, rides the elevator back down to the basement again.
Kevin: We figured probably to take the kid's clothes out of the washer, put 'em in the dryer.
Captain: Camera never picks her up again.
Kevin: Only other person to ride the elevator down all the way to the basement during the next hour was the old lady who found the body.
Javier: Mm-hmm
Kate: So whoever attacked her must have used the stairwell, otherwise the camera would have caught him.
Kevin: We got... three maintenance workers on duty that day. We'll run their names tonight.
Richard: Why only run the workers' names? Why not run all the neighbors' names?
Kate: What are you basing that on?
Richard: I'm basing that on, the neighbor would make a better story.
[the group snickers derisively]
Richard: No, come on. What do any of us know about our neighbors in this city? You think the guy living next door to the Son of Sam knew he was living next door to the Son of Sam?

Captain: What do you mean they're pulling back?
Kate: According to the IC, the building is structurally compromised and they can't get their men in. At this point, they don't feel that it's a rescue operation anymore. It's a recovery.

Kevin: We're putting up the tree the other day, Jenny says to me, "It just doesn't feel like Christmas without kids." She wants to try. But I come to work, I watch the news, every day... it seems like the world's falling apart. How am I supposed to bring a kid into that?
Javier: The world's always falling apart, bro. Since the beginning of time. But having kids, making a family, that's what keeps it together.

Javier: [Beckett is surprised to see Castle at the crime scene] He was here before I was.

Dr. Van Holtzman: The danger of facing your demons is that sometimes the demons win.

[as Alexis is putting books into her backpack]
Richard: Um... You're going orienteering, not library-ing. You sure you want to take that many books?
Alexis: Over-ambitious for a five-day trip?
Richard: You're going to be responsible for your own pack. I think you're supposed to be more Sacagawea than a scholarly reader. Besides, look at all those pages. The trees might want revenge.

Javier: So, here's what's not a lie. Just called the Franciscan Order. Turns out Benjamin Wade really is a monk.
Richard: And our murderer.
Kate: Now we just need to prove it.
Javier: Wait, you guys are on the same page about this guy?
Kate: Not exactly. I think he's guilty because of his contact with the victim, the stalking, and his history of violence.
Richard: I think he's guilty because of his contact with the victim, the stalking, and his role in a sinister conspiracy involving Freemasons.

Javier: Victim's name is Abby Smith. She's twenty-three years old. A maintenance worker found her early this morning. We're dealing with something messed up here.
Lanie: You got that right. Starting off with these stab wounds.
Richard: They're round. What was the murder weapon?
Lanie: Hard to tell. A knitting needle, maybe. Or an ice pick. Your guess is as good as mine. Her attacker knew about anatomy. He pierced her carotid and her subclavian arteries. She bled out in minutes.
Kate: Which means our killer might have had a medical background. You know, there are no signs of forced entry. Do we know how this killer came in?
Kevin: Well, we're not really sure. But he definitely wanted Abby to know that he was here.
[shows Castle and Beckett the victim's cell phone]
Kevin: She was texted this photo at 10:33, right around time of death.
Kate: The killer sent this?
Kevin: Right before he murdered her.
Richard: He was watching her.
Kevin: Mmm.
Richard: And then he sent that to terrorize her. This was personal.

Kate: [entering the morgue] Perlmutter.
M.E. Sidney Perlmutter: Detective Beckett.
Richard: Perlmutter.
M.E. Sidney Perlmutter: And non-detective Castle.

Kate: [to worm his way into the investigation, Castle has brought the victim's widow to the precinct] Your client, Castle? Please don't tell me you ambulance-chased this woman.
Richard: Beckett, that is an outrageous accusation. I... as a member of the writing community, merely went by her home to offer my condolences.
Kate: [skeptical] Hmm. And I suppose you told her that you're a P.I. who just happens to have connections with the NYPD.
Richard: The topic may have come up. You look gorgeous, by the way.

Richard: This morning, with the body, I took a couple of pictures.
Kate: [outraged] You took photos of my crime scene?
Richard: Before you get mad, I e-mailed a couple of them to a friend of mine.
Kate: You e-mailed them to a friend.
Richard: Well, not exactly a friend. She's my interior decorator. But then we slept together, so I don't really know what she is now.
Kate: What the hell were you thinking?
Richard: I know, right? You work together, you think it'll be fun, but then it always makes things weird. It's a real cautionary tale.
Kate: I'm talking about the photographs. Of the body.
Richard: What? No! I didn't send her pictures of the body. I sent her pictures of the rug. I thought maybe she might be able to tell me where it came from. And guess what? She did.
[Castle looks into a hotel room where a maid is vacuuming]
Kate: That's the rug... That's the same rug.

Richard: Pierson Club? That's high society, that's creme de la creme. My money goes in banks, their money buys banks.

Javier: We took a look into his financials. There're a series of large deposits made into his checking account.
Senator William H. Bracken: Let me guess. Untraceable wire transfers bounced through shadow accounts in Switzerland and the Middle East?
Richard: Just like you would've done.

Richard: Politics wins over death threats?
Vasiliy: In Russia, it's better to be killed than lose face.

[after Castle and Beckett talk to Castle's lookalike]
Javier: [on phone] All right. Well, the address for the show's producer is another dead P.O. box, and the phone number's defunct.
Kate: Okay, what about his paycheck?
Javier: Well, I talked to the bank and the corporate account that cut the check is closed, and the corporate contact, Joseph Vacher, well, doesn't seem to exist.
Richard: Yeah, he exists all right. Or at least he used to. Joseph Vacher was a famous French serial killer from the late 1800s.
Javier: So he's got a sense of humor.

Kevin: "Cowards die many times before their death. The valiant never taste of death but once."
Javier: Bro, you're not Castle.
Kevin: Yeah, I know I'm not Castle.
Javier: Then stop trying to talk like him.
Kevin: What? I'm not allowed to reference the Bard? I'm a renaissance man.
Javier: Memorizing one quote does not make you a renaissance man.
Kevin: What if I memorize two?
Javier: Have you? memorized two?
Kevin: No. But what if I did?
Javier: Depends on the quote.

Richard: Surrounded by skeptics.
Javier: It's called being a cop, bro.

[having been cleared of being a murder suspect]
Richard: So, what's our next move?
Kate: There isn't one, at least not for you. You're going home.
Richard: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Two victims, one of them an acquaintance of mine, and you're sending me home?
Kate: You're a witness, Castle. I can't have you involved.
Richard: I'm already involved.
Kate: Castle, go home. Go back to your Hamptons, your ex-wife, your book parties. Okay? I've got work to do.
Richard: [confused about her attitude] What did I do?

[finding Castle in the morgue]
M.E. Sidney Perlmutter: What are you... You're looking at my victim's chart!
Richard: Well, I'm just making sure you filled it out properly. And may I say, for a man, you have exquisite handwriting.
M.E. Sidney Perlmutter: Oh. Give it back!
[Perlmutter chases him around the table]
Richard: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look, look, look... You could make this a lot easier on me, Perlmutter.
M.E. Sidney Perlmutter: Oh, because that's what I live for.
[Perlmutter chases him around the table again]
Richard: I just believe that your victim traveled somewhere before she died. Is there anything in the autopsy that indicates where?
M.E. Sidney Perlmutter: I-I would rather switch places with her than tell you. Now, now give me that!
[Perlmutter chases him around the table a third time]
Richard: Hey...
M.E. Sidney Perlmutter: I am warning you, Castle...
Richard: Here it is.
[reading]
Richard: "Stomach contents. Two ounces of peanuts, partially digested pretzels, blood contains trace amounts of over-the-counter sedative." She was on a plane. She flew somewhere. Thanks for your help.
[leaves quickly]
M.E. Sidney Perlmutter: This isn't over!
[answers phone]
M.E. Sidney Perlmutter: What?
Kate: It's Beckett. We're trying to explain some anomalies in our victim's financial records. Are there any signs that she traveled recently?
M.E. Sidney Perlmutter: Well, as a matter of fact I was just discussing that with the *writer* you married!

Kate: Ready to earn some extra credit?
Chambers: I want a lawyer.
Kate: Yeah, well, you better get a good one. Juries don't like cop killers.
Chambers: Wait, you think I popped Bardot?
Kate: We found a stack of identical cards...
[puts blue card on desk]
Kate: ... in your dorm room desk.
Chambers: Lawyer.
Kate: You sent that to Bardot because he found out that you were dealing drugs.
Chambers: Lawyer!
Kate: Fine. You want in on a bet?
Chambers: On what?
Kate: On you. You're not cooperating, so I'm taking protective custody off the table. And a bunch of us are wagering on how long you're gonna last once the inmates find out that you're a cop. I'm guessing under twelve hours. And I'm feeling real lucky right now.

Richard: Step back? These are policicians. They can't order at a restaurant without two compromises and an ultimatum.

Kevin: [chuckles] Yeah, and I want a baby unicorn with a rainbow tail
[seeing Esposito's expression]
Kevin: for my daughter.

Kate: So, um, the text from last night, what did you find?
Vikram: Actually, uh... that's a dead end.
Kate: What?
Vikram: My bad.
Kate: An- And you didn't know this last night?
Vikram: Um...
Kate: Did you text me to pull me out of my anniversary dinner with Castle?
Vikram: Look, you broke up with him for a reason... No one can know what we're doing, especially Castle. It's too dangerous.
Kate: I know! And I- I am being extremely careful. I'm just trying not to lose my marriage in the process.

Kate: What did you find at the crime scene canvass?
Javier: Nada. Only in New York can some guy dress like a frigging zombie and walk down the street unnoticed.

Lanie: Got any of that left over for me? Javi, I was worried sick. I thought that...
Javier: I know what you thought, but I'm here. I'm back.
[kisses Lanie]
Javier: I'm all right.

Richard: A dead man from the Carter administration *entombed* in cement. I am intrigued.

Richard: No. Makes no sense. Why spend all that time listening to women and buying them things if you're not gonna try and sleep with them?
[turns and sees Beckett behind him]
Richard: Beckett's here.

Kate: The two folders in McCann's car. He knew that this building was next. How?
Richard: Somehow, he must have figured out the arsonist's pattern.
Kate: Which means there is a pattern. And if he figured it out, so can we.

Robert 'Bobby S.' Shannon: So... should I welcome home the prodigal son, or should I have Liam put a bullet in the back of your head?
Liam: Oh, just say the word, Bobby.
[Liam pulls his gun and starts to point it at Ryan who disarms him, puts the gun in Bobby's hand, and points the barrel at his own forehead]
Kevin: You think I'm some kind of rat? That I'm a man without honor? Then you pull the trigger.
[cocks the hammer]
Kevin: You doubt me, Bobby? You do it yourself.
[after a tense moment, Bobby lowers the gun and laughs]
Robert 'Bobby S.' Shannon: Fenton's back. Welcome home.

Richard: [Putting his hand inside the mouth of a carving in the church] Ahh! Ahhhhh!
[he suddenly stops and looks at Beckett]
Richard: I'm just kidding.
Kate: Castle!
Richard: I can't believe you fell for that.

Richard: I mean, on a scale from one to Hannibal Lecter, what are we dealing with here?

[as bidding for a storage locker starts going higher]
Richard: I've only got $2,000.
[Beckett takes Castle's checkbook out of his pocket]
Kate: Here. Sign it.
[Castle signs the blank check]
Kate: Keep bidding.
Kate: [to Percy] Hi. Hi, Big Percy, right? What would it take to get all the cash you have on you?
Big: [eying Beckett] Depends on what you offering.
Kate: How about a check?
[Percy rolls his eyes]
Kate: No, it's good. I swear. It's signed by the millionaire mystery novelist, Richard Castle.
Big: Yeah, right.
Kate: No, really. He's right behind me.
Big: For real?
Kate: Yeah.
Big: My moms loves his books.
Richard: [still bidding to auctioneer] Yes.
Big: Okay, I'll give you $1,600, but it'll cost 25.
Kate: 18.
Big: 23.
Kate: Two grand, and he'll name a character in his next novel after your mom.
Richard: What?
[Beckett elbows him in the ribs to shut him up]
Big: Sold!
Kate: Here you go. Thanks.
[to Castle]
Kate: We got $3,600. Now make it work.

Richard: Something wrong?
Kate: This is a homicide investigation, not a day at Disneyland. If I give you an order, I expect you to obey it.
Richard: Then you don't know me very well.

Kevin: It's Castle. He's on the phone, he says he's got a break in the case.
Kate: What case?
[sees Ryan not wanting to answer]
Kate: This case? How does he even know about this case?

[last lines]
[entering the loft, he sees Pi's stuff is gone]
Richard: You're really doing this.
Alexis: I am. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I'm making a huge mistake.
Richard: What if you are?... This isn't something you can just go back and undo. Why don't you wait a year, okay? Move into the dorms. I'm sure Pi can take care of himself. And if after a year, you still wanna move in together, I- I won't say a word.
Alexis: Yes, you will... I don't know how this is gonna turn out, Dad. None of us do. But it's my life. My future... I have to find out for myself... Who are you always saying is the smart one in the family?
Richard: You.
Alexis: Dad, I know what I'm doing... It'll be okay.
Richard: [quietly, after Alexis leaves] Too soon.

Richard: When I was your age... I can't tell that story. It's wildly inappropriate. Which, oddly, is my point. Don't you want to have wildly inappropriate stories that you can't tell your children?

[last lines]
[in Zombie makeup and voice, looking into the camera and breaking the forth wall]
Richard: This isn't over.

Richard: Our victim is on Mars? The secret manned mission to Mars rumors were true. I *knew* it!

[first lines]
Charles: Can't believe you elbowed me in the face, D.
Damian: It was an accident, Charles. Come inside, I'll get you an ice pack.

Lanie: You gotta admit, with that beard and that belly? He looks like the real deal.
Kate: If by the real deal, you mean an overweight man in a red suit, who was hopefully carrying ID?
Lanie: Yep. Along with lots of candy cane wrappers, though I don't think that ID of his is gonna do you much good.
[hands Beckett a wallet]
Kate: "Kris Kringle. Address, North Pole"? That's cute.
Richard: Maybe he's the real Santa. Like in "Miracle on 34th Street".
Lanie: Yeah, but with no happy ending. This Santa fell out the sky around 9:30.
Kate: From an aircraft?
Lanie: Maybe, but it wasn't a commercial plane, I can tell you that. With a fall from high altitude, we'd see severe frostbite on his eyes and his face.

Kate: [At crime scene, talks about the body] Hey Lanie, how does it look?
Lanie: [Talks about the conversation earlier about Castle] Like you waited too long.
Kate: The vic

Kevin: You know, finding who sent this disc should make Castle feel a whole lot better.
Javier: Yeah. But what if the worst happens and Castle's right? Do you think he put me in his will?
Kevin: Dude, uncool.
Javier: What? I'm just wondering. I mean, Castle's death will be sad and all, but his Ferrari sure would lessen my grief.
Kevin: You do realize that even putting that out in the universe is bad karma.

Javier: You know what I don't get... is who would steal a dead body?
Richard: Oh, plenty of people. Uh... organ harvesters, cadaver-less med students, Satanists, mad scientists looking to create their own monster.
Kate: [approaching] Or the guys who killed him might have left some evidence behind.
Richard: Boring. How about a spy, having swallowed a top-secret microchip that the enemy forces murder him over before the CIA can get ahold of it?
Kate: As much as we all appreciate your insightful and *incredibly* believable theories, Ms. Cosmo is gone, so I believe you can go home now.

Kate: Six weeks, Castle. Six weeks following Vulcan Simmons, hoping for a lead, and when we finally find someone that connects him to Bracken, the guy ends up dead in an alley?
Richard: If Jason Marks is the conduit between Vulcan's drug money and Senator Bracken's presidential campaign, why would they kill him?
Kate: Something's changed. Maybe Bracken's firewalling himself again. Erasing all of the dots before they connect back to him. We have to move fast before those dots disappear.
Richard: No. We talked about this. No unnecessary risks.
Kate: I'm not gonna stand by while my mother's murderer becomes President of the United States.
Richard: Maybe you won't have to. We've been looking at Marks' death like it's a setback. What if it's the breakthrough we need?
Kate: What do you mean?
Richard: Vulcan Simmons just became the prime suspect in a murder investigation. You've been given an all-access pass to his life. We play our cards right, you nail him with this...
Kate: He might roll on Bracken.

Kate: Do we have a suspect?
Javier: Not yet. Naomi's alibi checked out. But we do have a lead on this mystery woman that Zane was seeing. His financials came in. They say that he rented a limo yesterday morning.
Richard: Which makes sense, since Naomi trashed his DB9.
Kate: And where was this limo going?
Javier: I don't know yet. I'm still waiting for the driver to call me back. But hopefully he knows who this woman is.
Kevin: [approaching] I have already found her. It turns out that Zane was renting a suite at the Black Door Hotel under a fake name.
Richard: Ah! The Black Door. Yes, very fancy.
Javier: Mmm-hmm
Richard: Known for being discreet...
[sees their expressions]
Richard: ... Is what I've heard from other people who were once single, now married.

Richard: Matilda King is a legend in the fashion industry.
Kate: Or infamous, depends on your point of view.
Richard: Yes. Former assistants of hers have written books about how tough she is, a dragon lady who chews people up and spits them out.
Javier: Does she also strangle them? Because that's how Lanie said our vic died.
Kate: Hey, Lanie.
Lanie: Hey. So, the murder weapon was a scarf, a sash, or something.
Kate: Okay, when did this happen?
Lanie: Based on lividity, between 12 and 2 a.m. I also recovered some blue hairs on her neck, left by the attacker.
Richard: Blue hairs? So, she was killed by a little old lady. Or... Katy Perry.
Lanie: Animal hairs... that were dyed blue, Castle.
Richard: Or... a Dr. Seuss character.
Kate: I don't recall any of them being homicidal.
Richard: That's true. I need a new theory.

Vince: I didn't kill my wife.
Kate: Well, then, where were you the night that she was killed?
Vince: I was at the hotel. I went there immediately after we wrapped here.
Kate: And can anyone vouch for that?
[Vince hesitates and doesn't reply]
Richard: Come on, Vince. Tell us you were alone. It'll make arresting you that much easier.

[Chief Brady is taking Castle's statement]
Chief: Were you here as well, ma'am?
Kate: Yeah.
Chief: Name, please?
Kate: Um, Katherine Beckett. But do you think we could keep that out of the public record?
Chief: Of course.
Kate: Not that we're doing anything wrong. I just...
Chief: Right.
Kate: What's that supposed to mean?
Chief: Don't worry, it's the Hamptons. We'll be discreet. We're-We're not interested in your arrangement.
Kate: "Arrangement"?
Richard: Chief! Chief! Uh... I'm, I'm not, I don't, She's not a...
Kate: I'm not a prostitute.
Chief: Oh, I'm sure.

Richard: Beckett, this is Hayley. She's the one who helped me find you.
Kate: Thank you for taking care of him
Hayley: Yeah, it's a lot of work. I don't know how you do it.

Hayley: I don't know anything. The last time I saw Castle was outside the prison.
Javier: You'd think an ex-cop would understand obstruction of justice.
Kevin: Yeah, especially since arresting her for it will torpedo her investigator's license.
Hayley: You're not scaring me, guys.
Javier: You think we're playing? Castle's one of us, which means you'd better come clean right now, or every cop in this city is gonna make it their mission to jam you up,
Hayley: I understand the passion, but I have a reputation to uphold. My clients think that I roll over every time a cop says "Boo", I'm looking for a new line of work.
Alexis: [entering in a fit of anger] Damn it, my dad's in trouble. If you know anything about where he is, you have to tell us!
Hayley: Alexis... it's not that simple.
Alexis: Yes, it is.

Special: Special Agent Sam Walker, FBI.
Kate: I'm Detective Beckett. This is Detective Ryan and Esposito.
Special: Ryan. Kevin Ryan?
Javier: You've heard of him?
Special: Yeah, of course. This man got inside the Irish mob with a wire when no one else could. You helped put away half the crew in Staten Island.
Kevin: Too bad the weeds grew back, huh?
Special: They always do.

Javier: Name's Tessa Horton, 29. Roommate came home from the weekend away. found her up there.
[pan up to see barbed wire on the ceiling]
Richard: Oh, jeez! Who puts a body on a ceiling?
Lanie: Beats me, but I probably won't sleep for weeks.
Javier: It's like something out of one of your books, right?

Agent: My job isn't to make friends. It's to stop bad things from happening. And seeing as how we're just a couple of hours away from a major terrorist event, and we are basically back at square one, I could really use your help.

Richard: Being a fan of zombie lore, I get it. But what's the appeal of being a zombie? Like look at this guy. Who would want to be alive in a decayed, mindless state? Being a vampire - that I understand. That's the romantic route to immortality. The, uh, gentlemen's monster, as it were.

Kate: Look, I signed up for this when I put that badge on. You didn't. It's *not* your fight.
Richard: The hell it isn't. I don't hang around you just to annoy you. I don't ride out to murder scenes in the middle of the night to satisfy some morbid curiosity. If that's all this was, I-I would've quit a long *time* ago.
Kate: Well, then, why do you keep coming back, Rick?
[long pause as they both look at each other]
Kate: Look, I may not have a badge... unless you count the chocolate one Alexis gave me for my birthday... But I'll tell you this, like it or not, I'm your plucky sidekick.
Kate: Plucky sidekick always gets killed.
Richard: Partner, then.

Patty: Have you ever been duped?
Richard: I've been married twice.

Kate: Look, the guns could fit with terrorism. But the wire-tapping equipment?
Richard: Maybe he's a spy. He's got military training. It says here he was a commando in the Saudi Special Forces.
Kate: But then there's this. Twenty-five grand wired to him every month from a Swiss bank account. Whatever he was doing, he was well-funded.
Richard: What did his fellow students have to say?
Kate: Well, I talked to most of the girls on Bram Stoker's list, and none of them noticed Hasim in class or even knew who he was. It's like the guy was invisible.
Richard: He was hiding in plain sight. A foreign agent, in deep cover, on some kind of special reconnaissance mission.
Kate: So then why would he shoot up a van?
Richard: Maybe Jack Bauer was driving.

[Beckett realizes Castle stole documents about the Tisdale and Fisk murders]
Kate: Richard Castle, you are under arrest for felony theft and obstruction of justice.
Richard: You forgot making you look bad.
Kate: You know, for a minute there, you actually made me believe that you were human. Cuff him.
Richard: Ooh. Bondage. My safe word is "apples."
Kate: [to the cops cuffing Castle] Oh, there's no need to be gentle.
Richard: How'd you find me, anyway?
Kate: I'm a detective. That's what I do.
Richard: My mother told you, didn't she?

Kevin: She was like the dog whisperer for CEO's.
Javier: You really buy that.
Kevin: Oh, yeah, skimmed through her book. I think there might be something to her theory. For instance, she said that in every relationship, there needs to be a masculine energy and a feminine energy. Even in ours.
Javier: Oh. Well, we know which one you are.
Kevin: I don't know about you, but I'm very *comfortable* in my masculinity.
Javier: You do realize you're wearing a sweater vest, right?

Gina: What kind of idiot kills off his best-selling main character?
Richard: Are you asking as my bloodsucking publisher or as my bloodsucking ex-wife?
Gina: Oh, is that what you're doing? Punishing me by killing the golden goose?
Richard: Oh, come on. I may be petty and short-sighted, but I'm not that petty and short-sighted.
Gina: Really? Then why?
Richard: Writing Derrick used to be fun. Now it's like work.
Gina: Hmm. God forbid you should work. I mean, you could have retired him. You could have crippled him. You could have had him join the frigging circus. But, no, you *had* to put a bullet through his head.
Richard: Yeah. Real messy, too. Big exit wound. Don't worry, Derrick Storm is not the golden goose here. I am. I wrote half a dozen bestsellers before him. What makes you think I'm gonna to stop now?
Gina: Oh, I don't know. The fact the new book was due nine weeks ago.
Richard: You can't rush genius.
Gina: Genius, Richard? Try blockage. I heard you haven't written in months.
Richard: That's ridiculous.
Gina: My sources are very reliable.
Richard: Well, they're wrong.
Gina: They'd better be. If I don't have a new manuscript on my desk in the next three weeks, Black Pawn is prepared to demand the return of your advance.
Richard: You wouldn't dare.
Gina: Try me. Just try me.
Richard: You know, I already returned that advance. I spent it divorcing you.

[first lines]
Rabbi: Ephraim Mankofsky... or simply Mank, as he liked to be called, lived a fruitful life. A proud father of 10 wonderful children... Mank was so very, very blessed.

Kate: So, you were restless again last night. What's going on?
Richard: Nothing.
Kate: Babe, you keep saying that, and it keeps getting worse. You are whimpering in your sleep. It's been every night for a week. So come on, talk to me.
Richard: It's just a dream.
Kate: So it's a recurring dream?
[Castle nods]
Kate: Okay, about what?
Richard: About when I went missing, I think.
Kate: Um... so... why didn't you wanna tell me about it?
Richard: Probably because I didn't wanna make a big deal of it.
Kate: But it is a big deal. You lost two months of your life, and you're dreaming about it now? I don't think you should ignore this.
Richard: I do! Come on, everything is perfect right now. You and I are in a great place, everyone else is. I mean, why go turning over stones when the dreams will probably go away.
Kate: Except that they haven't gone away. They're just getting worse. Look at you. You're stressed out, you're exhausted. You haven't written a word in a week. Look, at least consider seeing someone. I know somebody who may be able to help.

[after being caught as the person who killed the victim by hitting him with a guitar]
Zeke: Do you know what it's like to play all those *crappy* street fairs, living on nothing but Ramen noodles, sleeping in a van for 14 months? And then he calls me to his trailer after the show and tells me that *I'm* out? I admit, I might not be the world's greatest bass player. But...
Richard: No, but you sure can handle a guitar.
Zeke: Oh, come on, man! I didn't mean to kill him! We're finally about to hit it big and he wants to Pete Best *me*? For some *roadie*? I just... Oh! I just *lost* it! Ahhh! God! No!
Richard: [whispers to the camera] You know, Pete Best was a drummer. I think Stu Sutcliffe would have been a more apt comparison.

Javier: Jonathan Goodheart. You have been a very, very bad boy, Jonathan.
Johnny: It's Johnny.
Javier: It says here, Jonathan, that *you* have priors for stalking, indecent exposure...
Johnny: That stalking was a misunderstanding, and... that other thing happened on a really hot day.

Richard: Yeah, I just had a deeply disturbing thought.
Kate: Much like most of your thoughts?

Martha: [on phone] Richard, where are you?
Richard: I'm at the precinct with Beckett. Why?
Martha: Don't lie to me, Richard. Beckett is here, your passport is gone. Now what the hell do you think you're doing?
Richard: [cut to Castle] Getting my daughter back.
[Castle hangs up and walks away, revealing the Eiffel Tower in the background]

[Beckett has absent-mindedly given Esposito and Ryan an order to follow a lead]
Javier: You are aware that you don't actually work here anymore, right?
Kate: I'm sorry. Old habits.

Kate: Are you familiar with a girl named Pamela Bonner?
Jessica: Detective, what is this about?
Kate: Mr. Rigsdale?
Colin: Name's not familiar.
Kate: Really? I understand that she was an intern here at the firm last year. Isn't that correct? And isn't it also correct that you attended the Banks & Bauer summer associate party last year?
Jessica: Don't answer that. Detective, what are you doing?
Kate: The same thing that my victim, Erica Albrook, was doing. Trying to figure out how her best friend, Pamela Bonner, actually died.
Jessica: Her death was an accident.
Kate: Really? Then why do we have a record of Ian Blaylock, Mr. Rigsdale's attorney at the time, receiving a phone call from him at 1:45 that night?
Jessica: Detective, this is privileged information. It's inadmissible.
Kate: And we're not in court.

Richard: [bringing Beckett coffee] Where do you come down on deficit spending during economic downturn?
Kate: Thank you. I take the theory that's held by most economists: that deficit spending is acceptable as long as it focuses on public investments like infrastructure, defense, education, research.
Richard: Wow. Where did that answer come from?
Kate: Semester of economic theory at NYU. Where did that question come from?
Richard: Trying out conversation starters.
Kate: Well, we started a conversation, so I guess it worked. Kind of.
Richard: It's for a dinner with Ashley's parents. He's this stuffy economist, you know, and I just want to win him over; get them on my side. But what if they don't take to me?
Kate: Oh, come on, Castle, they'll take to you.
Richard: Really?
Kate: Yeah.
Richard: Thanks.
Kate: So long as you don't act like yourself.
Richard: [groan] Ohh, nice one.

Richard: I am not giving up. And you know why? Because it's the best idea ever.
Kate: Castle, I am not getting married in space.
Richard: Why not? We could be the first. Commercial space flight is only a couple of years away, and you said... you wanted it to be special.
Kate: [sarcastic] Yes, because when I was little girl imagining my wedding day, being stuck in a small tin can with a thousand tons of rocket fuel strapped to my ass was exactly what I had in mind.
Richard: Then we agree!
Kate: If you don't wanna go and look at wedding venues this weekend, then just say so.
Richard: I don't wanna go look at wedding venues this weekend.
Kate: Too bad.

[last lines]
Alexis: You okay, Dad? You seem distracted.
Richard: What are you talking about? You have my undivided attention.
Alexis: Good. Because I want to go on a date tonight. How's that sound?
Richard: Of course. Great. Have a good time.
Alexis: I meant with you, Dad. You'll always be my go-to guy.
Richard: Did Gram put you up to this?
Alexis: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Richard: Pity date... I'll take it.
[hugs Alexis]
Richard: You're a terrible liar.

Richard: Please tell me you solved it.
Kate: Roger's alibi checks out. We're back to square one with zero leads. Any luck with Weller?
Richard: All he cares about is getting a conviction, and from the look of the jury, when they found out about Nina and Sadie's affair, he's gonna get it.
Kate: We need to figure something out.
Richard: I have an idea.
Kate: Castle, what are you doing?
Richard: Saving an innocent woman's life.
[they enter the courtroom]
Judge: Mr. Brown, your witness.
Richard: Stop the trial!
[the room goes silent and everyone turns to look at him]
Kate: Okay, so... now what?
Richard: I don't know, I didn't think this one all the way through.

Richard: Just to be clear, you really aren't the Antichrist, right?
Victor: [laughs] Oh, I love your sense of humor. You saved my life, that means I owe you. So, whatever you want, just ask, it's yours. Okay?
[shakes Castle's hand]
Richard: Okay.
[Crowne winks and smiles as he walks away]
Richard: Did I just *literally* make a deal with the Devil?

Richard: I mean, I know your apartment is habitable again, I just... Do you have to leave?
Kate: Do you want me here because you actually *want* me here? Or do you need protection from the redheads?
Richard: A little of both.

Richard: Yeah. Hey, you think I should get a dog?
Kate: What am I, your wife?
Richard: Yeah, you're my work wife.
Kate: No, I'm not your work wife.
Richard: I could get a bloodhound. I could name him Sherlock, and then I could, I could bring him to crime scenes.
Kate: No, you couldn't.
Richard: Oh, what? It'd be *adorable*. I could get him to wear a little Sherlock hat, train him how to carry a little magnifying glass.
[seeing Beckett's skeptical look]
Richard: Oh, see? Right there. Disapproving, judgmental. You're totally my work wife.

Kate: The only reason that I was dressed up was to go undercover.
Richard: No, I guess it was just a coincidence that... each time, I just so happened to be there.
Kate: No, it wasn't a coincidence because you were always following me around. Why? 'Cause you were into me.
Richard: Me into you?
Kate: Yeah.
Richard: Mmm. I... I admit I found you not unattractive, and occasionally... fun to be around. But into you? Mmm... No, definitely not.
Kate: Okay, fine, then why were you following me around? And don't say that it was research, because no one believed that for a second.
Richard: You really want to know?
Kate: Mm-hmm.
Richard: It was because I was...
[smiling]
Richard: having so much fun playing cop!
[flashback montage]
Kate: That's not why you were following me around.
Richard: It is, too. And anything else you come up with is strictly a product of your imagination.

Ashley: I'm just saying that this sucks. Okay? Hannah dying a month before our wedding?
Margo: Ashley.
Stone: Ashley's right. Maybe we should, like, postpone it or something.
Penelope: Postpone? For that bitch?
Margo: Penelope!
Penelope: Look, it's not like I killed her.
Kate: [interrupting] Excuse me. Ms. Foster? Detective Beckett, NYPD.
Penelope: How do you do?
Kate: I'm fine. Uh, but... you are under arrest for the murder of Hannah Green.
Richard: So I guess it is like you killed her.
Peter: [to the camera guys] Are you still rolling? Did you get that?

Kate: Well, I wouldn't worry about it too much, Castle. After all, only the good die young.
Richard: Ouch!
Kate: Listen, Freud. I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to get me to talk about my mom to see if you can squeeze any more pulp for your fiction.
Richard: 'Pulp'? You think what I do is pulp? Listen, I will have you know that 'The New York Review of Books', not 'The New York Book Review', mind you, 'The New York Review of Books' said that Derrick Storm is this generation's answer to...
Kate: I read that piece. And even you have to admit that it's more than a little hyperbolic. So how much did you pay the reviewers?
Richard: A case of Chateauneuf du Pape, but that's not the point. The point is, you read 'The New York Review of Books'?
Kate: Oh, so many layers to the Beckett onion. However will you peel them all?

[first lines]
Young: Stop it! What are you talking about?
[laughs]
Young: Oh, a fountain! I love fountains! Let's skinny dip!
Young: Go on, baby.
Young: Come on. It'll be fun.
Young: Now? Are you kidding?
Young: If you catch me, you can have me.

Martha: Good gracious. Richard, you look positively ghastly.
Richard: Good morning to you, too, Mother.
Martha: No, no, no. I'm speaking as a concerned mother. Are you sure you're not coming down with anything?
Richard: Not at all. Never better.
Martha: Well, good. Then my work here is done.

Kevin: Victim is Shana Baker. According to her pay stub, she worked at Eastbourne Preschool. Point of entry is a window in her bedroom. Somebody broke the glass.
Kate: She would've heard that, and based on her body position, it doesn't look like she was trying to run away.
M.E. Sidney Perlmutter: No, she wasn't. No signs of defensive wounds or struggle. Just a single gunshot to the chest.
Kate: Which means our killer was in here when she came home.
M.E. Sidney Perlmutter: How a woman so astute could *choose* to marry Castle.
Kevin: Ah, come on, Perlmutter, admit it. You miss him, too.
M.E. Sidney Perlmutter: Please. Just knowing he's not gonna be here makes coming to work sheer bliss.
[laughs]
M.E. Sidney Perlmutter: All things considered.

[as Lanie is entering the morgue]
Kate: Hey.
Lanie: [startled] Damn, girl, You scared me.
Kate: Lanie, you're surrounded by corpses.
Lanie: Yeah, I don't expect the living after seven o'clock.
Kate: Funny. Neither do I.