30 Best Jonah Hex Quotes

[last lines]
Jonah: They say that a man with revenge in his heart should dig two graves. One for his enemy and one for himself. I guess mine's just gonna have to wait.

Burly: Hey, what happened to your face...?
[Hex kills him with a thrown tomahawk]
Jonah: I'm all out of wiseass answers.

Quentin: Magnificent, isn't it?
Burke: It's bigger than a breadbox, that's for sure.
Quentin: Do you know who Eli Whitney was?
Burke: I'm a very undereducated man, Mr. Turnbull. Are we talking about Whitney Sr. or Jr.?
Quentin: [smiles] Senior. After he invented the cotton gin and started the Industrial Revolution, he went to work for the U.S. military, and pioneered the use of interchangeable parts, firearms, and explosive ordnance, and fairly well singlehandedly invented modern warfare. So, as an exercise they asked him to design a "superweapon." A nation-killer. And this is what he envisaged, but they never built it, because once they realized its potential, they could not conceive of willingly turning such devastation on their fellow man. But I can. And one week from today... the United States will know hell.
Burke: Cheers!

Jonah: Keep him fed and watered. Don't you tie him up. If I don't come back for a spell, he'll know it. He'll head out on his own way.
Boy: He got a name?
Jonah: Yeah. Horse.
[to the dog]
Jonah: You. Yeah, I... I don't what to say to you.

Jonah: This is for my wife!
[kills a laughing Burke... then resurrects him. Burke is now terrified of what he saw]
Jonah: And this is for my son!
[burns him to ashes]

[Jonah comes into the store]
Smith: [not looking up] You get uglier every time I see you.
[Jonah smiles]
Smith: Lord, don't do that. You'll break every mirror we got in stock.

Stunk: You surely have done us quite a favor.
Jonah: Transaction's all it was. I'll collect my hundred dollar bounty on them and be on my way.
Stunk: That there, Mr. Hex was more of a limited-time offer.
Jonah: But you'll pay it just the same.
Stunk: Hell, Mr. Hex, there's an unscrupulous character or two would pay double that for your stinkin' hide!
[Hex glances at the undertaker's]
Jonah: Five coffins...
[counts the Mayor, the Sheriff and his deputies]
Jonah: Sure you don't need eight?

[from trailer]
Lieutenant: Quentin Turnbull surfaced about a month ago.
Lieutenant: We want Turnbull dead.
Jonah: Why didn't you just say that to begin with?

Adleman Lusk: Well, Mr. Turnbull, it appears the bells are finally ready to toll on Washington.
Quentin: And I hear them, Mr. Lusk, because I've heard them for six long years. We appreciate the services that you have rendered to us.
Adleman Lusk: I can only hope you succeed. I'll most certainly hang if you don't, an outcome I most sincerely come to avoid.
[shoots Lusk in the back of his head]
Quentin: Consider it avoided.

[a dozen Union soldiers burst into Lilah's room]
Jonah: Christ, woman, how many men you seeing today?

[Jonah rides into town, dragging three dead bodies with his horse]
Jonah: These the boys you wanted?
Stunk: The Clayton boys?
Jonah: That's right.
Stunk: It would appear we have a little problem, Mr. Hex. They's four Clayton boys. This here's only three. I don't see anyway we could pay you the agreed-upon "reconciption"...
[Hex tosses him a burlap sack. The Mayor glances inside, and retches]
Jonah: The rest of him was too fat for my horse.

Grayden: [points gun at Lilah's dead] I own you now.
[Nash tries to shoot her, Lilah stabs him]
Lilah: Single-shit pistol, asshole. And I'm not much being owned.

[tied up]
Jonah: You still have that Derringer in your bustle?
Lilah: They took it.
Jonah: You still have that snake in your garter?
Lilah: They took that too.
Jonah: You still have that...?
Lilah: They took it.
Jonah: Searched you pretty thoroughly, didn't they?
Lilah: Wouldn't you?

[being raised from the dead]
Jeb: God! You are such an asshole.
Jonah: Good to see you again, too, Jeb.

Burke: You look like a right freak, you know that? Tell me, what's it like to go through life with a face like that?
Jonah: Let me show you!
[punches him]

Dumbass: He don't look so tough.
Bartender: He looks tough to me.
Dumbass: Not to me. Watch this.
[draws a knife]
Dumbass: Hey, Hex! What happened to your face-?
[a gunshot blasts him through a window, and Hex lifts his hat off the bar, revealing his pistol]
Jonah: Cut myself shaving, what happened to yours?
[drops a coin on the bar]
Jonah: For the broken window.

Burke: Jonah bloody Hex! I'd know that half-baked piehole anywhere!

Quentin: You see, with weapons like these, one day we shall be able to level continents. But we'll have to content ourselves with starting small.

Lieutenant: Begging your pardon, sir, but why does the President care if one old Confederate general is still alive?
President: After Gettysburg, Turnbull changed. He targeted hospitals, schools, churches... kill enough people, and soon they would tear down the government that failed to protect them. His Mexican slaves, they had a nickname for him... what was it?
Aide: "Terrorista."
President: Terrorista.

Burke: Lovely little orange balls.
Turnbull's: They don't look like much.
Burke: Maybe. But they'll turn the world to dust all the same. Take 'em, boys. But be careful. Wouldn't want to drop them.

Jonah: You got anything new, Smith?
Smith: Thought you'd never ask.
[shows him new weapons]
Jonah: Wow...
Smith: I take it that means you approve?

Jeb: I've been watching you, and I've been watching him, and I gotta tell you, it's getting real hard to tell the difference between you.
Jonah: Your father is a monster, you hear me?
Jeb: And you ain't? From where I sit, you're just two men bent on murdering people to make your own pain go away. Life like that, it sounds a hell of a lot like being damned.

[Hex rides into town]
Stunk: Jonah Hex...
Stunk: Jonah Hex...
[All the townspeople run inside and slam their doors]

[after killing the Stunk Crick Sheriff and his deputies, Hex takes the man's badge and pins it on the nearest man, who is staring at him, slack-jawed]
Jonah: Congratulations.

Burke: I'm gonna hand Turnbull your balls in a snuffbox!

Quentin: Explain it to me again, Burke.
Burke: There is no explanation. I gave the bastard two barrels in the chest. By all rights he should be as dead as Billy here.
Quentin: Well, Jonah Hex doesn't know how to die. He'll have to be educated.
Burke: I have no problem educating the man.

President: [pays Hex] Here's your reward, in full. I also hope you'll reconsider.
[Hex looks at a Sheriff badge]
Jonah: Country's too big for patrollin' sir. But if you're ever in a jam, you know who to call.

Quentin: [to Hex] You may live, and go from this place, with a mark on your flesh, and every day, that mark will remind you of the man who took everything you had.

Lilah: You worry about me, don't you?
Jonah: No.
Lilah: Mmm. Well, I worry about you. Look how many times have you been shot. It's just one more that's gonna do it.
Jonah: Well, it seems like I've been luckier than most in that respect.

Jeb: You disobeyed a direct order.
Jonah: To burn down a hospital. Your father was gonna kill all those people, just to make a point. I couldn't stand for that. I'm surprised you could.
Jeb: He was our commanding officer, he was my father! I didn't have a choice.
Jonah: Neither did I.