The Best Laurie Keller Quotes

Laurie: [after meeting her soon-to-be boyfriend, Smith] He has a first-name last name and a last-name first name! I swear to God, if I ever have a white baby, I am totally naming it Smith!

Laurie: [throwing a man at Jules] You left this at the bar bitch!

Jules: In one of our friend talks he told me she is not even on the pill... Condoms break all the time!
Laurie: Especially if there's piercing involved!
Ellie: Stop,I'm begging you

Laurie: Its just like 1,2,3,4,5,BAM!... and then he farts

Laurie: What sort of skank wears a watch?

Laurie: [Waking up with Grayson "the morning after"] What we did last night was perfectly natural, like the wind... and not trusting Canadians.