The Best Glenn Quotes

Jules: [Angry] You based all of my treatment on your dog?
Glenn: Ajam.
[Jules is stressed]
Glenn: Ok, I'm just gonna light a little sage in here 'cause, you know? It's very calming so let's all just
[whistles]
Glenn: calm.
Jules: It's just... I can't believe you lied to me.
Glenn: [Pointing at Jules, slightly angry] Hey, hey, hey, Jules! And yes, this is my steering voice.
Jules: [Slighty intimidated] I don't like your steering voice.
Glenn: All I ever do was used my personal experience
[starts coughing because of the sage]
Glenn: to help you. All right? I've never lied on this office. Ever. This is a sacred circle
[keeps coughing]
Glenn: of truth.
Jules: Is it, Glenn?
Glenn: What?
Jules: Tell me. After we left, did you leave a note on that car?
Glenn: Yes, I did.
Jules: What did it say?
Glenn: It said: Suck it!
[Jules nods, having proved her point]
Glenn: I'm not perfect, Jules.
Jules: [Ironic] Really?
Glenn: That's how we connect. We are kindred spirits. Last time you said that you felt guilty because you hang up on your dad. Last Christimas, I set my car on fire so my mother would think I was dead.
Jules: Those aren't the same!
Glenn: Bah, they're so close. But you know what? I'm done playing with your judgement games. I'm not gonna play. You're gonna have to find another therapist.
Jules: YOU are firing ME?
Glenn: Here's your information.
Jules: Are you serious?
Glenn: Yeah.
Jules: You are a nutjob!
Glenn: Yeaaaaah.
Jules: You take your dog to communion!
Glenn: [Angry and obviously crazy] Hey, that was not my choice. That was Gabriel's choice. I was totally against that, Jules.