Top 100 Quotes From Remington Steele

Remington: Ah, can you smell it, Laura?
Laura: Smells like an old liverwurst sandwich.
Remington: Oh, the stench of professionalism, the odor of objectivity! Shades of Sevareid, Cronkite, Hugh Downs. Trenchcoats and drizzle. The sound of ack-ack pounding on a distant shore. And there, in the thick of it all, the man with the microphone. I always wanted to be a reporter, ever since I saw Joel McCrea in "Foreign Correspondent."

Remington: Would you like to know what I think?
Laura: About the murder?
Remington: About you. You know what you are? A workaholic. That's what you are!
Laura: No? Really? Terrible vice, you oughta try it some time
Remington: It just drives you crazy that there are no mysteries to solve, no clues to, to ponder, no suspects to, ah, suspect!
Laura: Hah! Speak for yourself! I have a mystery to solve, I have clues to ponder, I have suspects to suspect!
Remington: Ho, yes indeed! Nothing frightens Laura Holt like having time on her hands or heaven forbid that she has a second to stop and think and feel, and perhaps, perhaps actually get to close to some of the people she works with!
Murphy: [opens the door to Laura's office & pops his head in] I heard fighting so I knew Mom and Dad were home.

Anatole: [walking up] Congratulations, officer. You've just arrested a world-famous thief.
Diamond: Who are you?
Remington: [to Blaylock] What have you done with Mildred?
Diamond: [to Remington Steele] Against the wall!
Anatole: If you check that man's pockets I'm certain you'll find the Jennings diamond.
Diamond: [searches] They're clean, Lieutenant!
Diamond: [to Blaylock] Well what's this all about?
Anatole: He has the diamond! He *must*!
Diamond: This is the man you want, Lieutenant; he killed an Interpol agent! Will you listen to me?
Mildred: [runs up, wet, and indicates Blaylock] Arrest this man!
[Blaylock growls, shoves her and Diamond Cop #1, and runs away]
Kevin: [takes his dog Dolittle and sets him loose] Tango!
[Dolittle chases after Blaylock and bites his trouser leg, tripping him. As the rest give chase, he pulls a revolver, but Steele kicks it out of his hand as he runs past]
Diamond: OK, take him away!
[Diamond Cops #2 and #3 do so]
Remington: Well! I guess that dog is good for something after all.
Laura: [looks at Steele's feet, smiles] Uh, Mr. Steele?
[She points down. He looks down and it's implied the dog is urinating on him again. She laughs as he pulls a stoic face]

Mildred: As much as I can get on that hairbag
Remington: Where do you pick up all of these expressions Mildred?
Mildred: Television, I guess
Remington: I thought you only watched PBS?
Mildred: [a little later] Well how do we stop that slimeball? Alistair Cooke says that a lot.
Remington: Does he?
Laura: [Laura walks in] That hairbag, that slimeball!
Remington: You watch PBS too?

[Remington, Laura and Claude are sitting around a wine barrel, containing a body that was found at the vineyard, as they hide it from potential investors]
Laura: It would appear someone might be using Harry here to sabotage your deal.
Claude: Harry? You found out his name. That's great.
Remington: Yes, well, I'm afraid it's more endearing than accurate. This neighbor of yours, Werner... do you think he might be responsible?
Claude: Well, he's not one of my bigger fans, but I can't believe he's capable of killing anyone. My mother on the other hand...
Remington: Thick and stormy past, eh?
Claude: When I was nine, I set up a lemonade stand. My mother told me the key to good lemonade was to scratch the sugar and double the salt. And when I had a paper route, she used to go through my papers everyday and take out the funnies. She's always had this problem with me succeeding, and she knows that this wine is my chance to finally make it on my own. I wouldn't put anything past her. Not after watching her drive my father, Arnold, to his grave.
Laura: Your father's name was Arnold?
[Laura and Remington exchange a look, as they both know that Claude's mother's horse is named Arnold]

Remington: Forgive me for saying so, Mr. Kelsey, but aren't you going to a lot a trouble just to preserve a game?
Ralph: A game? Baseball is a lot more than just a game, Mr. Steele. It's a way of life. It's... it's America.
Laura: I don't think Mr. Steele has ever played baseball.
Ralph: [Kelsey leans back into his seat, dejected] Ohhh...
Remington: I may not have played, Ms. Holt, but I am a keen observer of your national past time.
Ralph: So, you'll take the case?
Laura: I'm sure Mr. Steele will play ball, won't you, sir?
Remington: Certainly. When do we kick off?

Laura: Now all we need is the third man.
Remington: Well, if it isn't Orson Welles, I can't be of any immediate help.

Bernice: Miss Travis, someone named Giovanni called. He said he'd like to arrange private sessions for you and Laura together. He feels you're both that good.
Remington: Good God in Heaven. You know him too? The man's an insatiable animal.
Marion: Giovanni an animal? Believe me, compared to some of the sculpture instructors I've had, he's a pussycat.

Remington: Hardly seems fair, does it?
Laura: What's that?
Remington: You holding the reins, me taking the whip.

[Laura, Remington and Wilson come running out of the building, as the person they are chasing is driving away]
Wilson: You think we can catch him?
Remington: Well, if Laura drives.
[the three of them all get in the car]

Remington: Never let principle interfere with money.

Remington: [Steele shows Laura his cup of coffee] Have you tried this?
Laura: [Frustrated] I made it, I don't have to taste it!
Remington: It's like a hot cup of The Thames!

Remington: If there's anything I can't stand, it's someone who doesn't reveal his true identity.

Remington: You know, we have gone through this whole case... without you once coming up with a movie reference.
Laura: Well, here you go, I've got an appropriate one.
Remington: Oh?
Laura: The Lost Weekend, Ray Milland. Jane Wyman, Paramount, 1945.

Remington: Laura, how is it when I do something dangerous it's reckless? But, when you do something Suicidal, it's a good idea?
Laura: Mr. Steele, this is no time to argue semantics.
[She then begins to run off]

Wilson: I saw that body in the vat, and suddenly I thought to myself..."What would Laura do about this?".
Laura: So you stuffed him in the trunk of a car and ran away with it.
Remington: Are you talking about this Laura here?

[while looking at a Pitkin painting]
Remington: Molly Donavan paid money for this woman's work?
Laura: For an expose.
Remington: Exposing what? Shocking lack of talent?
Laura: I didn't know you had such definite opinions about... art.
Remington: Laura, must I remind you that only a couple of years ago I was appropriating some of the finest works in Europe.
Laura: I do my best to forget that.

Remington: How poetic, the story that brought us together follows the news of our deaths.

Kessler: Who are you?
Remington: Just a happy go lucky tourist out to see a bit of the world.
Neff: Is that why you've got five passports, from five different countries, in five different names?
Remington: Kept trying for a good picture.

Laura: [Three well dressed mobster types enter the office, for the wake] Must be from your side.
[Steel frowns down at her]
Remington: [a young nun enters the office for the wake a few moments later] Must be from your side.
[Laura rolls her eyes up at him]

Remington: Someone's just been shooting at us!
Laura: But why?
Remington: Because we were kissing! Someone *always* shoots at us when we're kissing!

Remington: [after Stan hassles Mady about her slowness] Is Stan your husband?
Mady: [Deadpanned with a wink] That's what the marriage license says.

Tanaka: Some tea, perhaps?
Remington: How very civilized of you.
Tanaka: I am pleased you accepted my invitation. Now perhaps we can settle this without any further...
Remington: Profundity?
Tanaka: Violence.
Remington: I'm all for a stab at that.

Laura: Unless Kelsey was a random victim.
Remington: That's what I love about Laura, you keep narrowing this case down to include everybody.

Remington: Well, if that's true, then Harry is the Abbot of Costello!

Laura: Look, you're grown man. I'm a grown woman.
Remington: Than why are we acting like two children?

Laura: What are you grinning at Mr. Steele? Someone just tried to kill us!
Remington: [Smiling] Precisely Ms. Holt, we must be on the right track.

[Izzy is dying]
Izzy: Toodle-loo.
Laura: Toodle-loo?
Steele: That's what I call shuffling off with class.

Remington: Laura do you think I'd really leave you in the lurch? Or are you just curious? Part of my mysterious past.
Laura: Well sure I'm curious. You announce you're going to take a more active interest in the agency and I wonder how many other places we can't go because some other Captain Rios is looking for you. I wonder when somebody's going to show up on the agency's doorstep looking for you to solve an old case or settle an old grievance. You're damn right I'm curious!

Remington: Do you remember the old frenchman in Barbados? The one who passed us up?
Monroe: Sure.
[Shrugging]
Remington: Do you remember what he said? I have bad news mes amis, you'll live. You couldn't stop laughing; tore up some of your stitches.
Monroe: [Stoic] You didn't crack a smile.
Remington: Because I saw another side of what he was saying.
[Said softly]
Remington: I knew then that we were lucky.
[Continuing with emphasis]
Remington: I mean Really Lucky; Dealt a few more aces then most people. But it's a mixed blessing because sometimes those people we want to hold closest to us don't always have the same hand. And there's nothing we can do about it.
Monroe: [Understanding] Because we don't control the deck. You're right. I felt that way too.

Remington: Of course not! I would never insult your intelligence oro your professionalism by trying to stop you getting killed.

Laura: What are you doing?
Remington: I'll tell you what I'm *not* doing! I'm not driving in circles trying to elude people I don't know, who want to kill a nice little nebbish, for reasons I don't even understand. I'm also not about to sit in that car while Sheldon looks at me like I'm Babe Ruth and George Washington all rolled into...
[into phone]
Remington: ... yes, information? I'd like the number of the Central Intelligence Agency... No, that is not a residence.

Remington: You're acting more like me, Dammit! There's only room for one me in this office!
Remington: In Any Office!

Laura: Need I remind you, Mr. Steele, that you may have been murdered last night.
Remington: That shouldn't impede us from having a good time.

Laura: If I were a man, would you question it if I told you I was going to enter the Boston Marathon?
Remington: I would question why anyone would want to run twenty-six miles without being chased.

[Laura's car speeds into a dirt parking lot at a vineyard, tires screeching, she suddenly turning the car, and it halts to a stop right in front of a building]
Remington: Well, you certainly taught that road a lesson it won't soon forget.
Laura: No sense in dragging this thing out.
[the three of them get out of the car]
Wilson: It's inside, I'll show you.
[Laura walks inside the building]
Remington: Oh. Uh, if you don't mind my asking Wilson... uh, when you and Miss Holt were, uh, uhm...
[moving his hands]
Wilson: Cohabitating.
Remington: Yes, uh.
[Clears throat, continues moving his hands]
Remington: Was her driving always so, uh... exuberant?
Wilson: If anything, it's gotten a little better. But I'm sure you know how she is. Impulsive, uninhibited... absurdly passionate. It must get trying for you at times, keeping her in check.
Remington: Oh, well, I do what I can. Hmm.
[Wilson goes inside]
Remington: [to himself, looking baffled] Absurdly passionate, eh?

Remington: I realize trust is not something bestowed but earned and on the face of it, I've done nothing to earn yours.
Laura: Notice how I'm not jumping in to argue with you?

Laura: [after Remington has hung up the phone and accounted for old enemies] Then you must be forgetting someone.
Remington: [Raising an eyebrow at her] How many enemies do you think I have Laura?
Laura: Mr. Steele, I have great respect for your ability to generate animosity around the globe.

Remington: A killer caught by a lousy television show and a rotten commercial. There's some thing poetic about that.

Remington: Irresponsibility isn't a sickness - it's an art.

Eugene: Sit, sit! You and uh...
Laura: Laura.
Eugene: Laura. So this is Laura? Your secretary?
Remington: Assistant.
Laura: Associate.

Remington: Mildred, I'm worried.
Mildred: Ms. Holt?
Remington: Uh-huh. Usually, she's the logical one, I mean, everything by the book, allowing precious little time for emotions to creep in and cloud her perceptions. Now look at her - she trading "blings" and "blergs" with an homicidal actor.
[Laura hangs up the phone and heads for the front door]
Remington: Laura, where are you going?
Laura: To meet Max.
Remington: Laura, the man is dangerous. He's already wanted by the police for murder!
Laura: "The Fugitive"!
Remington: [Misunderstanding her meaning] Yes, the fugitive Maxwell Donahue.
Laura: No, "The Fugitive", David Janssen, a Q.M. production, 1963-67.
Remington: [Momentarily confused, he turns to Mildred] Mildred, you're an American, what is she talking about?
Mildred: It's an old television series.
Laura: David Janssen played a man running from the police for a murder he didn't commit; he'd been framed.
Remington: [Outraged] And that's what you're basing his innocence on? A television show?
Laura: How many times have I followed you blindly just because you thought one of our cases bore a faint resemblance to the plot of some silly movie?

Remington: Nothing titillates the senses more than a first rate sting.
Daniel: You ever miss it?
Remington: Oh, I have the occasional wishful longing, a pang or two of regret.
Daniel: What do you do about it?
Remington: Cheat at solitaire until the feeling passes.

Laura: [to Steele] I'm a Peppler, he's a Peppler, she's a Peppler, we're a Peppler, they're a Peppler, wouldn't you like to be a Peppler too?
Laura: [Steele gives her a look] Come on! Where's your sense of humor?
Remington: [referring to his colorful golf pants] I'm wearing it.

Remington: [while drunk] I rather enjoyed being a Peppler. Shame about the divorce, they were so good together, those two.
Laura: They are, aren't they?
Remington: Yes...

Laura: [after Vinnie breaks through Laura's kitchen window] Who *are* you?
Vincent: Vinnie Dowd. I'm in trouble and I need your help.
Remington: Wouldn't it have been easier to use the door?
Laura: Wait a minute. Vincent Dowd? The LeBlanc kidnapping?
Vincent: Yea. Only I didn't do it. You gotta believe me.
Remington: I thought you were convicted of murder. Life imprisonment.
Vincent: Yea, but I was framed.
Laura: By whom?
Vincent: Me.
Laura: [Incredulously] You framed *yourself*?
Vincent: Did a humdinger of a job, huh?

Mildred: You don't know what it's like for woman to desire a man. Oh, I mean to lust down to her loins, and yet, fear what that desire might unleash in her.
Remington: You, uh, speaking from personal experience?
Mildred: Oh hell no! My ex-husband couldn't unleash the dog.

Remington: [talking to the baby] You know what the trick to the whole thing is Joey? It's not how many times life knocks you down, it's how many time you pick yourself back up.

Laura: Just what are you doing hiding behind that newspaper?
Remington: [Folding down the paper to look at her] Hiding.

Ralph: [Steele is being introduced to the various members of the team] Doc Gridley, formerly of Muncie, now from Miami Beach.
Remington: Ah, doctor.
Doc: Proctologist.
Remington: Ah yes, very good with the glove, I presume.

Remington: Fourteen hundred dollars between us and we don't have a quarter to make a phone call.

Laura: [Yelling] I'm Not Running From This!
Remington: [Yelling back] So Don't Run, But at least have the common sense to stop and take a breadth!

Laura: What should I call you when we're alone?
Remington: Well, I'm quite used to the name that you came up with.
Laura: It's from a typewriter and a football team.
Remington: Then pick one. I've probably used it.

Remington: You know... Sometimes I find the straight and narrow very confining. Very confining.

Laura: Leo Blitzman?
Leo: Yeah. Watch the rough stuff, pretty boy. You're dealin' with an eye.
Remington: An eye?
Leo: Cannon, Mannix, Rockford.
Remington: He appears to be speaking in some sort of code.
Laura: He's trying to tell us he's a private eye.

Remington: Now I know how Jimmy Stewart felt in Rear Window. This thing is beginning to itch already.

Remington: Atomic man is wanted for murder.
Remington: Really, I didn't realize the penalty for bad acting was that stiff in this country.

Raymond: Who are you?
Remington: Just a happy-go-lucky tourist out to see a bit of the world.
Leo: That why you got five passports from five dif'rent countries in five dif'rent names?
Remington: I keep trying for a good picture.

Remington: Laura? Finally... we're sleeping together. Must make it a point to tell Murphy.
Laura: You would, too.
Remington: Damn right.

Remington: The Arboretum could be a Jungle. I mean the Park down the street, the garden in the back. As far Ray's concerned the whole bloody thing could be a jungle!
Arthur: What are you telling me Mr. Steele, That it's a Jungle out there?

Remington: [to Laura] I'll admit I've been trying to lead you astray... but this is not the direction I had in mind.

Laura: Mr. Steele, if I didn't know you better, I'd say you were immersed in paperwork!
Remington: [Irritated] Swamped! Is the more accurate appraisal!

Remington: Zif climp blagh blagh blaghgh
[looks at Laura]
Remington: It's for you.

[At the main entrance to the Conant Art Gallery]
Laura: Do you think you can penetrate this bastion of culture alone?
Remington: Oh of course. Laura you've changed my life. I'm actually looking forward to going through the front door.

Daniel: You've come a long way, my boy.
Remington: Thanks in no small part to your excellent tutelage.
Daniel: I think this is another instance of the student surpassing the teacher.
Remington: [exhales]
Daniel: You, a renowned private investigator. Mind-boggling.
Remington: Hm. Actually, I find it rather novel helping people.

Rocky: [Steele is riding with Ms.Sullivan on her motorcycle. They stop at a stop light] Don't you just love it - the wind in your hair, 500 cc of throbbing power between your legs?
Remington: Yes, but quite frankly Ms. Sullivan, I prefer my hogs in the form of bacon.

[Laura and Remington have brought Veronica home]
Mickey: Ronnie.
Veronica: Oh!
Mickey: Thank God you're all right...
Veronica: Oh, it was the skull-faced reaper, Mick. I felt him at my shoulder, his razor scythe glinting in the moonlight, and his rancid breath hot on my neck.
Mickey: I won't let him have you, Ronnie. I'll never let him have you.
Veronica: Oh, such a dear fool you are.
[touches Mickey's cheek]
Veronica: A dear, sweet fool.
[Mickey and Veronica walk towards the house]
Laura: A skull-faced reaper with hot rancid breath, eh?
Remington: Oh, a bit colorful perhaps but, then, drama was her life.
Laura: Still is.

Remington: Supposing you had children. Just supposing I mean. Would you intend to continue working? Or would you feed the little tykes breakfast in the morning and then rush off to a nice juicy murder? I'm mean would you call them up at school and apologize that you couldn't pick them up because you were being held hostage?
Laura: Are you saying that a woman's place is in the home?
Remington: Actually, I was thinking of a more specific area.

Radio: [Laura and Steele enter the lobby of the radio station. The broadcast can be heard over the air] Hello, Doctor, last week you referred to the use of vegetables.
Remington: [Steele looks at the large sign on the wall which reads 14-KROT] Fourteen krot?
Laura: K-R-O-T... "14 - Carat".
Remington: Uh-huh.
[They listen to the radio program being broadcast]
Dr. Pam: It isn't important what vegetables you use. Carrots, corn on the cob, zucchini, they are all terrific.
Remington: A radio cooking show?
Laura: That's Dr. Pam, a phone-in sex therapist.
Remington: I must remember to get the cook book.

Remington: In case you hadn't noticed, someone out there's trying very hard to kill you.
Laura: I can take care of myself. I have for a long time now.
Remington: Yes, well that was before it made a difference to me.
Laura: And now?
Remington: Now, we're going to have some noodle soup. It comes out of those little foil packets these days. Then you're going to have the unprecedented honor of sleeping in my bed, uh, pajamas optional, while I keep company with the couch. But no matter how you slice it, you're stuck with me tonight, so I suggest you make the best of it.

Remington: [Mildred is sitting in her kitchen reading a paper]
[Knocking on the back door]
Remington: It's me Mildred, Open up!
Mildred: [Still reading] Nobody's home.
[Steel picks the lock]
Mildred: Hey that's cheating.
Remington: All's fair.

[Laura, Remington and Wilson are getting into Laura's convertible]
Wilson: There are a number of private vitner estates in the area, so, with the way you drive...
[engine starts]
Remington: What's wrong with her driving anyway?
[as Remington is climbing into the backseat, Laura speeds forward, he loses his balance and falls into the car]

Murphy: Since when has this meant so much to you?
Remington: Since I assumed the mantle of Remington Steele.
Murphy: "The mantle of Remington Steele"?
Remington: I realized he's more than one man, Murphy. He's a team. You, Laura, Bernice, and me, of course. We're all part of that team. We're all Remington Steele. Together, who could stop us?

Remington: I'm afraid it's time to leave your lovely city.
Laura: Where will you go?
Remington: Wherever the gems travel next. San Francisco, I believe. I give you my word. I won't try to liberate the gems until they're safely out of your jurisdiction.
Laura: All things considered, you made a delightful Remington Steele.
Remington: If the press of other commitments wasn't so severe, I might relish the role on a permanent basis.
[kisses her hand]
Remington: After all, I'm a man who enjoys impossible challenges.

Laura: Obviously something is emerging here, a pattern; Someone is going around killing Bachelors.
Remington: Then in that case will you marry me Laura?

Remington: Laura, do you really think that I'm the sort of man that would give a women a teddy bear?

Remington: I guarantee your exoneration on all charges, Buddy, or my name isn't Remington Steele.
Laura: [Scene Change] Your name *isn't* Remington Steele.
Remington: A mere technicality.

Remington: [Steele is dictating his memoirs] Chapter One. It was the best of times... it was the worst of times.
Stenographer: Shouldn't that be, It was both the best and the worst of times?
Remington: [Momentarily speechless] Really?
[She nods her head]
Remington: Yes, you're quite right. Much more economical.

Laura: Terry Lowell Dannon, according to the funeral home register. Ring any bells?
Frank: Total stranger.
Remington: Widow number two, uh, Barbara Troy Dannon.
Frank: No, I...
Laura: Nancy Stinson Dannon. Is this doing anything for you?
Frank: No, I...
Remington: Stella Martino Dannon?
Frank: She's not my *type*.
Mildred: Everyone appears to be your type.

Remington: Laura, simply because a man earns his living on the shady side of the street doesn't mean that he's beyond human emotions. That he can't care very deeply and very passionately for someone. And he even might attempt to make a change.

Bernice: [eyes Steele's attire] Look at you. This is new, isn't it? What a fabulous color for you.
Remington: Let me guess Miss Wolfe: Laura's in my office interviewing a prospective client and you've been posted here to prevent me from joining them.
Bernice: Laid it on a bit thick did I?
Remington: With a trowel I'm afraid.
Bernice: Look, just this once couldn't you let me win?
Remington: What? And ruin our perfect record?

Remington: The name seems to ring a gong.

Remington: When Izzy Webster passes away in the arms of Remington, Laura and Emery, his last words were "Toodle-Loo" to which Remington Steele replies, "Now that's what I call shuffling off with style."

Mildred: We certainly have had our share of sickos this trip.
Laura: The scary part is they came right to our doorstep.
Remington: Yes, nothing like bringing ones work home, eh?

Remington: [after their suspect has been hit] But he's our villain!
Laura: He's off the hook now, he's dead!
Remington: Well that's no excuse!
Laura: Try telling him that.

Remington: Two people have been murdered Miss Vogleson. Why are you so consumed with Remington Steele?
Amy: I believe him to be a fraud, a charlatan, a conman.
Remington: I knew a young man once, virtually an orphan. Shunted from relative to relative, always underfoot and unwanted. He'd been given many names as a child. Sometimes to suit the vanity of those who sheltered him, others to bilk the government with one more dependant. He never knew who he really was or where he belonged, so he set out at an early age to find something he could call his own. Something to hang onto when the nights turned bitter, the faces unfriendly. And, as he'd been taught by his elders, he acquired many names in that pursuit and many professions to go with them. He saw a great deal of the world. Most of it from the underside. Cheap lofts, draughty street corners... He's still searching Miss Vogleson. Merely from a better perch. If you can find that young man in any of your notes he'd greatly appreciate it.

[Laura has phoned Steele]
Remington: Steele here.
Laura: You sound awful.
Remington: [pinching his nose] Beastly cold, beastly.
Laura: What's that noise?
Remington: [talking from the limo phone, at an airfield] Noise?
Laura: Sounds like an airplane.
Remington: I'm watching a movie, um, 30 Seconds Over Tokyo, heroic stuff. Makes me proud to be in your brave country. Well, I have to go now, Laura, time for my medication. And please, Laura, don't under any circumstances come to my apartment. One of us has to stay healthy.
[hangs up limo phone]
Remington: Wonderful invention, that call forwarding.

Laura: [tears building in her eyes] Tonight, if you asked me... I don't think I could say no.
Remington: Tonight, I don't think that I could ask.
[Steele kisses Laura on her cheek. She takes his palm and kisses it]
Remington: Get some rest. We have work to do in the morning.

Remington: We've been together for what could be called a season, doesn't that count for anything?
Laura: Seasons come and seasons go and when they're over sometimes you can hardly remember them.
[She says with a smile and a shrug before spinning away]
Remington: [Coming after her and spinning her around] Damint Laura, I Care About You!
[Then kisses her to prove it]

Remington: Don't gape. It's bad form to let the hunter know he's become the hunted.

Remington: [to the morgue attendant who just referred to the corpse Steele & Laura viewed as "stiff"] That "stiff" was my friend!

[Laura and Steele are spying on their suspect, Mr. Thorpe. Laura pretends to be a jogger, while Steele uses a camera to watch Thorpe and his two companions, Eldon Veckmer and Greg Keever. Steele takes pictures of the three. The three men speak, without suspecting Laura, who stands nearby. As they get closer, Laura switches on a sound detector, which allows her to eavesdrop their conversation]
Stuart: [to Keever] Of course this'll help, but we're gonna need you with us before too long.
Greg: I don't know. I mean, it wasn't just Stony. My wife and I we're friends with those people, and then there's my contract...
Eldon: [interrupts] Why don't we let the foundation dictate those decisions for the time being, Mr. Thorpe? And then we'll see...
[suddenly, a beeping comes out of Veckmer's pocket. The three men stop]
Stuart: What's that?
[Veckmer drops his cigarette, takes a gadget out of his pocket and moves it about]
Stuart: We're being bugged?
Eldon: Be quiet.
Laura: It dropped off. What's happening?
Remington: Thorpe's in the way. Can't tell.
[as Veckmer points the gadget in Laura's direction, the beeping gets louder]
Stuart: [points at Laura] It's coming from her!
Greg: What do we do?
Stuart: Well, we stop her!
[Thorpe heads for Laura]
Eldon: Thorpe. Thorpe. Don't! Don't!
[Thorpe ignores Veckmer and continues running toward Laura. Keever joins him, while Veckmer stays behind]
Laura: I got trouble!
Remington: On my way.
[Laura runs away. Thorpe and Keever chase her]

Donald: I admire you Steele, I really, really do.
Remington: You know, the funny thing is, I admire you.
Donald: [Confused] Me?
Remington: Uh-Uh, cause you made a commitment to one person - to four persons in-fact.
Donald: Oh, I'll tell you. There are some days when I reach that freeway off-ramp and I want to keep right on driving.
Remington: But you don't, and that makes you more of a hero to my way of thinking.

Laura: The man's a spoiled, overgrown brat. He should be spanked!
Remington: Easier said then done.

Laura: Well, before giving us the results of your excavation, Mildred, there's a small administrative point we need to address.
[Laura slaps Remington's feet off the desk]
Laura: While it is more than apparent that Mr. Steele here is the senior member of the firm, the fact is that for the nuts and bolts operation, we're more or less, um, equals. Wouldn't you say, Mr. Steele?
Remington: One might even go so far as to say that Miss Holt is sort of in charge of such things.
Mildred: He's the boss, but you're in charge?
Remington: Having worked for the government, Mildred I wouldn't think the concept is beyond your grasp.

Remington: Ah, before we go charging off I think you should know that Miss Vogleson is determined to unearth the truth about Remington Steele.
Laura: Oh I knew that interview cover was a mistake.
Remington: Yes, well don't worry Laura. Rather than embarrass and jeopardize you and the agency I'm prepared to do the honorable thing.
Murphy: You're gonna leave.
Remington: I was thinking more along the lines of, uh, stealing her notes.

Remington: Love must truly be an enigma, Fred.
Fred: How's that sir?
Remington: Because I can't tell if I'm winning or losing.

Remington: [Looking at brochure] Ever been kissed by a sperm whale?
Laura: Not without protection.

Remington: In matters of this nature, Miss Mellish, I find it advisable for subjects to focus on the initial stages of their narrative and then to proceed accordingly.
Shirley: [to Laura] What did he say?
Laura: He means,"start at the beginning."

Remington: $1,400 between us, and we don't have a quarter to make a phone call?