The Best Robert 'Bobby Elvis' Munson Quotes

Jackson: [Referring to Lyla] Looks you guys are working things out, huh?
Harry: I can never tell. Every time I try to talk to her, we end up naked.
Robert: Just marry her. That'll stop it.

Jackson: [Sees Tig watching Venus walk away] Somethin' we need to know here?
Alex: We're friends. You know, we got things in common.
Robert: Yeah, I can think of one thing.
Alex: Don't be disrespectful. I'm gonna head upstairs, gonna get her to move it along. She tends to dilly dally.
[Turns to follow Venus upstairs]
Ratboy: Dilly dally?
Jackson: Okay. Now, I'm worried.

Clarence: Alright. There's a challenge on the table. New president. I don't think we need the formalities of nomination, you want the chair
[to Bobby]
Clarence: .
Robert: I ain't got no choice.
Clarence: Okay. Yea or nay? Bobby taking the gavel. Nay.
Alexander: Nay.
[gunfire errupts]

Robert: [Referring to the transvestite hooker] We gotta find Venus.
Alex: Oh, I know where she is.
[Everyone turns to look at him, surprised]
Alex: We keep in touch.
[He leaves the room]
Jackson: [Jax turns to the others] Should I be worried they keep in touch?

Alex: Go on. Get out of here before I rape both of you.
Bobby: Hey, come on man.
Alex: C'mon, it's just an expression. Term of endearment.

Robert: So. Let's play follow the lawyer.
Juan: I'd rather play run over the lawyer.
Robert: It's still early.

Alex: [Disgusted by having to drive the pink van] Why are we pink?
Robert: C'mon, baby, you *love* pink.

West: Can I go? Please? I'd rather get shot at than hafta help him piss again.
Robert: C'mon, man, we were so good together.

Jacob: I was just reading an article on these, uh... home invasion attacks. People are very scared.
Jackson: [Very sympathetic as Bobby nods in commiseration] I don't blame them.
Jacob: Most think it's tied to the, uh... criminal element here in Charming.
Robert: The city council?

Tig: Go on, get out of here, before I rape both of you.
Bobby: Hey!
Tig: C'mon, it's just an expression. Term of endearment.

Alexander: You ever get high off of this?
Piermont: It's just oxygen.
Alexander: No, I know. I know. But can't you just turn it up and get, like, you know, the Blue Velvet kind of thing going on.
Piermont: What the hell is wrong with him?
Robert: The list is too long, my friend.

Clarence: Hey you all better be at that fundraiser tomorrow, unless you want a size 9 high heel boot up your ass.
Bobby: You comin?
Clarence: I'd rather have my balls cut off... what, too soon for that joke?

Robert: Home is where the reaper is.

Bobby: You know my rule: no bud before 9AM.
Jackson: I don't have that rule.

Robert: [Walking slowly to the bathroom, his arm in a sling] West. You're gonna need to hold my dick while I piss. You're gonna need two hands.
West: Is he serious?
Juan: Yeah. He's huge. You're gonna need both hands.

Robert: Remember when our biggest problem was which Mayan to kill?
Jackson: Simpler times.
Robert: Simpler men.

Robert: When's the last time you had your dick sucked?
Juan: I don't think you're up to it, brother.

Nero: Listen, uh, things have gotten a little unraveled.
Jackson: Yeah, we heard about the Chinese guns.
Oscar: Yeah? From who?
Robert: Fox news. They're blaming Obama.