The Best The Newsroom, Season 1, Episode 6 Quotes

Will: How does this work?
Lonny: I pick you up at your home in the morning and escort you to your office. Then I pick you up at your office at night and escort you to your home. I'm with you any place that's an unsecured area.
Will: What's an unsecured area?
Lonny: Anyplace that isn't your home or your office.
Will: I'm single. What about a date?
Lonny: I don't think we should get romantically involved.
Will: You get one joke a day.

Maggie: But that wasn't what he was actually mad about. The wife of a board member died and Will asked me to send flowers. I wrote on the card, "I'm sorry about your loss. LOL".
Jim: LOL?
Maggie: I thought it meant "lots of love".
Jim: How are you still working here?
Maggie: I dodge bullets. Here comes a bullet. Boom! I'm over here. Ping! Here comes another bullet. Boom! I'm over here.

Sloan: But that's not we he told me earlier when we were speaking...
[stops]
Charlie: Finish that sentence.
Sloan: ...off the record.

Sloan: Okay...
Don: Sup?
Sloan: Okay, I know we were on sketchy ground ethically and linguistically, but...
Don: Whatever you're gonna say, save it for ten seconds.
Sloan: What happens in ten seconds?
Don: Just hang on for another 5 seconds and know that we've all been there at one point or another.
Sloan: What happens in five seconds?
Charlie: [storming into the room, screaming] What in the name of holy fuck were you thinking about?

Will: Sloan this is Lonny. You'll see him around.
Lonny: Good to meet you.
Sloan: Wow. Can I tap your chest?
Lonny: Sure.
Sloan: [laughs] Holy cow.
[looking at Will]
Sloan: Have you felt his pecs?
Will: No, I haven't yet.

Lonny: Mr. McAvoy...
Will: You can call me Will.
Lonny: Yeah, I was gonna do that anyway. I know you're used to being the boss. But you're not anymore. At least for a little while.
Will: How long?
Lonny: Until my colleagues chase down the source of the threat or, of course, if you've been successfully assassinated.
Will: A joke?
Lonny: What'd you think?
Will: It was all right.

Will: Who else's body have you guarded.
Lonny: We don't talk about that.
Will: Okay.
Lonny: Kanye. It was awesome.

Jim: Tell me about the complaint.
Maggie: There was a desk producer who saw Will yell at me about something.
Jim: What?
Maggie: Doesn't matter.
Jim: What?
Maggie: Doesn't matter.
Jim: [looks at Maggie]
Maggie: I mixed up Georgia the State with...
Jim: No!
Maggie: yes, Georgia the country.
Jim: And this was...
Maggie: Yup.
Jim: during the invasion.
Maggie: This isn't about me.
Jim: You thought the Russians invaded Atlanta?
Maggie: In retrospect it seems farfetched.

Sloan: [sighs, turns to Will] Please I have to fix this now. Help me. I need wisdom.
MacKenzie: [interrupts] I have wisdom.
Sloan: Kenzie I love you, but a Japanese man's honor is at stake, and sometimes your wisdom leeds to... like...
[imitates explosion]
Sloan: .
MacKenzie: [looks at Sloan for a few seconds] No, I get it.

Charlie: I, along with most people who don't live in Japan, am not fluent in Japanese, so I have to ask: did you just *make up* statements for someone we had live on our air?
Sloan: I didn't make them up...
Charlie: About a *deadly radiation leak*?
Sloan: I didn't make them up. He told me the reactor was going to a seven.
Charlie: When? Tonight? I'm asking, honestly, because there was a portion of the broadcast that turned into a Kurosawa movie.

Charlie: You're suspended with pay until I figure out...
Sloan: [Sloan cut's him off] They were lying about a public safety issue.
Charlie: You're suspended with pay...
Sloan: [Sloan cut's him again screaming] I don't want the goddamn pay!
Charlie: Don't front off with me, girl!
Sloan: Don't call me girl, sir!
Don: Hey!
Don: Everybody calm the f**k down!

Will: Miss Greer, you mentioned creeping Islam, are you concerned about creeping Christianity?
Phylis: Only that it's not creeping fast enough.
Will: Okay. Here are some things done on American soil in the name of Christianity. The Ku Klux Klan burned down black churches, raped women, murdered civil rights workers, murdered children and terrorized communities for over a century. The Neo Nazis all acted and continue to act in the name of white Christian supremacy. The Army of God fatally attacks abortion clinics and doctors across the country. The Covenant, the Sword and the Arm of the Lord targets local police and federal agents. The federal building in Oklahoma City. The attempted assassination of Ronald Reagan and the successful assassinations of Martin Luther King, John F. Kennedy, John Lennon, and Abraham Lincoln, all perpetrated by Christians. Miss Greer, we weren't attacked by Muslims, we were attacked by sociopaths, and I for one would join you in protesting a community center for the criminally insane, but no one is suggesting building one.