The Best The Newsroom, Season 3, Episode 1 Quotes

MacKenzie: You ever read Euripides?
Will: Yeah, I read it when I was in - no, fuck you, I haven't read Euripides.

Judge: [Don urgently wants to get out of jury duty; addresses the judge, who is not too impressed] All these people have someplace else to be. I'm sure your network can do the news without you.
Don: You're probably right but I'd hate for my boss to find that out.
Judge: [Still not impressed] Take your seat.
Don: Ah.
[Turns to one of the lawyers]
Don: Look, you don't want leaders on the jury, right? Anyone who can take charge during deliberations? I run a news broadcast five nights a week with a staff of sixty, and I bend them to my will...
[turns to the other lawyer]
Don: ... plus, I'm currently the defendant in two lawsuits being brought by the same person, so... even though I bought your client's bagel slicer at 3 a.m., and it nearly took my fingers off, there is simply no way in *hell* that I'm finding for the plaintiff...
[pulls breath to continue]
Judge: Get out of here!
Don: Thank you!

Will: [Eating Chinese food with Mac] The MSG is where the flavor comes from. The Chinese are a people who've been around for billions of years.
MacKenzie: No people have been around for billions of years.
Will: Okay. Well, some of us have read a book called the Bible - which is pretty clear about the Chinese and MSG.

Sloan: You know how there are tall women who don't mind dating shorter guys? I don't mind that you're dumb. And, Don, I mean that.

Will: Let's do sports, Charlie. We love sports.
Charlie: You mean like try out for a team?
Will: I do not mean try out for a team. No.

Charlie: [to everyone in the newsroom, clapping because CNN had to retract a prior statement] Hey!
Will: Hey!
Charlie: What are you *doing*? *Worst* moment in this guy's life and you're cheering? Why?
Will: Why?
Charlie: Because you think if someone gets in line in back of you it means the line moved? We still blew Genoa.
Will: The line didn't move!
Charlie: And if there's anyone...
Will: That's right.
Charlie: ...in the world who should be able to empathize with CNN right now, you would *think*...
Will: Wouldn't you?
Charlie: ...that it would be the people in this room!
Will: Empathy!
Charlie: He got knocked down! We didn't get taller.

Charlie: All in all, I think we're doing well.
Will: I'm still trying to figure out exactly what doing well means.

Will: How many?
MacKenzie: Bridesmaids?
Will: Yeah.
MacKenzie: Nine.
Will: Nine bridesmaids.
MacKenzie: My sisters, your sisters, Sheila, Sloane, Maggie and Diane.
Will: Who's Sheila?
MacKenzie: My brother's wife, Sheila. You've met her.
Will: And who's Diane?
MacKenzie: Sawyer.

Sloan: [Referring to a woman she had breakfast with] She tried to give me a message in a bottle.
Don: What was it?
Sloan: Merrill's media buyer is gonna lose his job because he's been having an affair with his 24 year old assistant who used to be a circus performer.
Don: [Faraway look in his eyes] Ahhhh...
[Sloane looks at him]
Don: That was an involuntary response you'd get from any man who pictures a circus girl...

Will: [to Mac] I worked very hard at cultivating no friendships outside of work. And to be honest, I was doing fine cultivating no friendships inside of work until you came along.

Charlie: He got knocked down! We didn't get taller.

Reese: I know everyone on this floor thinks I'm an asshole. But, I run a good company. And that's all I've ever wanted to do. Run a good company that makes good products. And we may have a political difference on this, but I take a lot of pride in being a job creator.
Sloan: Okay.
Reese: You really want to argue the indisputable fact that I cut paychecks to 141,000 people?
Sloan: Our difference of opinion isn't political; it's religious. I'm an economist and in my church it's your customers who are the job creators. And no one here thinks you're an asshole.
Reese: Really?
Don: [Just entering the room] I do.

Sloan: I like puzzles.
Don: No. you don't.
Sloan: I *love* puzzles.
Don: You literally talk back to the New York Times crossword. You yell at it.
Sloan: [Giving him a knowing look] Can I tell you something about the New York Times crossword? Very often they put the wrong number of boxes in to house the correct word.
Don: [Smiling indulgently] Yeah.

Will: Listen up. I'm from Nebraska. I'm not like the rest of you. I can eat food without fear.