The Best The Umbrella Academy, Season 1, Episode 6 Quotes

- Have you had your lunch?
- Not yet.
[Handler] Great. How would you like to lunch with me in my office?
- You can eat solid foods, and I can live vicariously...
- Through you.
- Sounds great.

- And that's how Phil determined that the archduke just had to go.
- Care for dessert?
- I had a bad twinkie in the apocalypse once.
- It kind of put me off desserts.
- Please, indulge me.

- {gasps}
[woman on pa] Security.
- «sdn!
- Security to tube room.
- Security breach in tube room.
- Securizy...
- I'm gonna throw this stuff in the dryer.
- Okay.

- Oh, please, not you, too.
- I have to book a flight back to la.
- If this happens I have to be with my daughter, custody be damned.
- And you said it yourself...
- We need the full force of the academy to even stand a chance.
- I'm sorry, Luther.

- I need to get to the airport and get home to Claire.
- Goodbye, Luther.
- Allison, wait.
- Luther, I can't. My plane.
- Allison hargreeves...
- Will you dance with me?

[Mom chuckles] I suppose that's odd.
- I wonder what the weather is like today.
- It would be nice to go to the park.
- Dad never let you off the grounds.
- Your father isn't here anymore.
- You can do whatever you want, mom.

Leonard: Things are different now. You got me. The Sonny to your Cher; the, um, peanut butter to your jelly.

- To finish the feast. [Giggles]
Allison: Oh, god! Oh!
- Shoot. Hang on...
Allison: Oh, oh, oh... okay...
Luther: I... just...
- Yeah. Oh... oh.
[Laughs] Just gotta get in there.
[Laughing] Easy, easy!

- Oh, no, shit!
- God.
[Chuckles] Oh!
- Ah! [Sighs]
- Oh. Yeah.
- We're not kids anymore. [Laughs]

- america's favorite in 1955.
- Remarkable.
- You'll be happy to know it's the very division that's building your new body.
- Oh, that reminds me.
- I have something for you.
- Carla?
[Carla over intercom] Yes?
- Would you bring the box in, please?
- Certainly.

- Hey.
- Please, please...
- Please stay with me, Dave.
[Sobbing] Stay with me.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
- No, no, no.
- Damn it, I need a medic!

- j” it's a supernatural delight j” j” everybody was dancin ' in the moonl/ght j”
- .fi dancin ' in the moonl/ght j” j” e verybody's fee/in' warm and br/ght j” j” it's such a fine and natural sight j” j” e verybody's dancin
- ' in the moonl/ght j”

- You just get in country?
- Oh, uh...
- Yeah.
- Yeah, shit's crazy. I know.
- Yeah!
- You'll adjust.
- I'm Dave.
- Klaus.

- J” / wanna taste the way that you bleed j”
- -j” you're my kill of the j”
- -[Thuds]
- J” nightj” you know that's not how we do things here.
- Where's Gloria?
- Don't know. Couldn't find her anywhere.

- What actually happened the first time around?
- Yeah. What are you not tellin' us?
- Come on, big boy, spit it out.
[Sighs] We died.
- What was that?
[Coughs] I said, uh, we died.

- Do you, um... do you like it?
[In normal voice] I'll never take it off.
- I almost forgot. I brought one more thing.

- j” / guess I'd better go now j” j” let me sleep all night in your soul kitchen ♪ j” warm my mind near your gentle stove j” j” tum me out and I'll wander, habyj” fl stumb/in ' in the neon grove j” j” oohj”

- Ordinary is not a word
- I'd use to describe you.
- Look, we'll figure it out...
- As a team.
- My life is so weird.
- I like weird.
- Clearly.

- Okay.
- Hiya, five. How's it going?
- I must have utter silence in order to complete this task.
[Stammers] Oh, okay.
- Hey, a few of us are having lunch, and I was wondering if you...
- You're doing something.

- All the correspondence
- I sent down from the moon?
- I, uh... I'm not sure.
- Your father was a very private person...
Luther: Stop it, pogo!
- You know everything our dad did.
- What?
- Clever old man.

- But I'd think you'd wanna pop every pill on the planet.
- Oh, the thought did cross my mind, believe me, but...
- There's something I need to do, and the whole pesky thing doesn't seem to work unless I'm sober.
- Is this is about conjuring the one you lost?
Diego: What was her name?

- The briefcase is here?
Cha: It's where commission said.
- All righty.

- Right, but there won't be a next anything if we don't find the briefcase.
- End of story.
- Whatever.
- Whatever.
- Whatever. Whatever.
- I need a hit of sucrose.
- I'm heading to the vending machine.
- Fine.
- Fine.

- Kung pao chicken, extra spicy.
- Okay. Sounds great.
- Thanks.
- Great.
- Back in a jiff.
- Uh, keys.

- Could you just for one second turn off that cynical brain of yours?
- I mean, this could be the last time we ever...
- Ta-da!
- Wow.
- Are these...?
- Yep, the very same.

- Herb! How long have you been on the lusitania?
- Oh, ah... well, let's see, I, uh... I...
- Sorry?
- When I first started...
- Sorry? I can't hear you.
- Still can't hear you.
[Handler] Oh, gene, a word before you go to lunch.
- Gutenberg seems to be having second thoughts about the printing press.

- Oh, come on.
- Th... that's crazy.
- I mean, it... it was like this before.
- That's a coincidence.
- Leonard, it's impossible.
- Come on. My place is close.

- No, the world needs a leader and I'm not it. I'm not.
- Dad knew it, and now I know it.
- I'm done.
- Can I show you something?
- What? What is it?
- Just... just come with me.
- What? You got something better to do?

- and she's this close to making pension.
[Panting] Sorry to interrupt.
- May I have a moment alone?
- Of course.
- Duty calls.
- We'll continue this discussion later, five.
- Sure. May I?
- Please.

- If it wasn't completely obvious,
- I've compared every man I've ever met to you.
- Oh, we should have done that a long time ago.
- I'm an idiot.
[Laughs] No you're not.
- You know, if we leave now, we can make that flight.
- We?

- And despite everything, I'm...
- I'm grateful for him.
- I mean, without him, we never would have met.
[Chuckles] I...
- Right.
- I think maybe you're the only person who really knows who I am and still likes me anyway.

- Luther hargreeves, will you dance with me?

- Which is why I've given you a particularly complex first case.
- It's too bad Joseph spah decided against sabotaging the fuel tank.
- It would've been so much easier.
- Anyhoo...
- If you have any questions...
- I'll be right behind you.

- Please evacuate.
- Remain calm.
- Do not panic.
- I do owe a debt.
- But it's not to you.
- Please evacuate.
- Remain calm.
- Do not panic.
- Shit.

- Shit.
[Handler] So, how's your first day going?
- Couldn't be better.

- Yeah. I think I could squeeze you in.
- Come on.
- Oh, boy.
- Oh, my god.
- Oh, gosh. Okay.
- I guess I'm just tired of all this being told what to do, where to go.
- Let's forget the stupid briefcase.
- Why not just stay here 7

- My methods must remain mysterious.
- Well, you're not the only one with secrets.
- Just in case.
- Ah. Oh, and, uh...
- One more thing.
- It's, um... it's for you.

- Home sweet home.
- Yep.

- Klaus, shockingly, has a point.
- What gives us a win this time?
Allison: Je... Jesus!
- You guys, am I still high, or do you see him, too?
- Five, where have you been?
- Are you all right?
Luther: Who did this?
[Five] Irrelevant.

- That's what it was?
- I couldn't cut it?
- So he sent me away?
- No, no, that's not...
Luther: Pogo...
[Crying softly] Please leave me alone.
- Master...
- Now, please! [Yelling] Get out!

- Stop what?
Hazel: You know.
Cha: That's impossible.
Hazel: Why? Number five came back.
- And he failed.
- He's back at the commission.
- There's no way around this, Hazel.
- Our only choice is to do what they say.
- One way or another, they always get you.

[Waitress] It should only be a couple more minutes on the jelly-filled.
- I'll call you when they're ready.
Cha: That son of a bitch!

- No, it's my fault.
- I just wanted them to be proud of me.
- And how could I presume to be worthy of their attention?
- Nothing's ever big enough next to their holier-than-thou, weight of the world bullshit.
- Vanya!
- What?

- the most noteworthy, perhaps.
- My walther pistol.
- The very one Hitler used to kill himself.
- We're not supposed to take these kind of things, but...
- He wasn't gonna use it anymore.
- Feel... how perfectly balanced that is.