The Best Derek McGrath Quotes

Appa: Frank, you is sick, you should be home. Not here, infecting people, like me.
Frank: Oh, I'm past the infectious stage. You should've seen me yesterday.
Appa: ...I did.

Vice: I just want to say that Nick is a different kid this year, so whatever you're doing at home, it's working.
Linda: Okay, so what you're saying is we should continue to spend time together as a family, just the three of us, to help Nick.

Ben: Look, mister - - if you think that machine gun is gonna scare us into buying a set of your lousy encyclopedias, you're mistaken.
Encyclopedia: [in a tone of huffy arrogance] Actually, this is a *SUB*-machine gun. Which is something you would already know - - IF you had bought a set of my encyclopedias! Can anyone tell me what BRAND of gun this is...? No? THOMPSON. This is a THOMPSON submachine gun. You would have known THAT, also... IF your stingy parents has gotten you a set of my encyclopedias! I tried SO HARD to tell them about how important knowledge is to youngsters. But did they listen? Noooo... they couldn't be bothered! They were too busy - - LAUGHing at me! The whole world... LAUGHS at me.
Ben: Why don't you take a job as a comedian?
Mike: [protestingly at Ben, lest he offend the gunman] BEN...!

Appa: [to Frank] Marriage is hard. Being married to Mrs. Kim is the hardest thing I ever do. Very hard. Harder than store. Harder than Korea Army training.
[Umma walks in]
Umma: What's hard?
Appa: Nothing!
Frank: Being married.
Umma: Yeah, very hard. Hardest thing I ever do.
Appa: That's what I say.
Umma: Why you say that? You's not married to you.
Appa: You's not married to you.
Appa,32482: [to Frank] You see!