The Best Valerie Sanders Quotes

Judge Harry T. Stone: [over the phone] You gotta listen to me! That woman you're with is psychotic!
Dan: [chuckles] Well, maybe a little enthusiastic...
[as he turns away, Valerie takes a butcher knife out of her purse...]
Dan: Yeah? Uh, listen, how exactly are we defining "homicidal"?
[And throws it, embedding it into the wall a few inches in front of Dan's nose]
Dan: [into phone] Uh, Harry?
[screaming]
Dan: HELLLLLP!
Valerie: [yanks the phone cord out of the wall] Sorry... wrong number.