The Best Vincent Price Quotes

The: I know it is a little early for Christmas, Edward, but; I have a present for you.
[shows Edward his soon to be human hands]

Dr. Jarvis Pym: [about to swallow a deadly poison hidden in a secret compartment in his ring] Well, goodbye, Mr and Mrs Smart.
Maxwell: Not so fast, Pym. Observe.
[opens secret compartment in his ring]
Dr. Jarvis Pym: What's that?
Maxwell: Anti-Sodium Calcium Chloride. If you take that Sodium Calcium Chloride, I'll shove this down your throat. Not the ring, the powder. And you'll be alive again.
Dr. Jarvis Pym: That's very clever of you, Mr. Smart, but I was prepared. Observe again:
[opens secret compartment in another ring]
Dr. Jarvis Pym: Pro-Anti-Sodium Calcium Chloride. If you bring me back to life, I shall take this and then I shall be permanently disposed of.
Maxwell: Temporarily permanently disposed of.
[opens secret compartment on yet another ring]
Maxwell: You know what's in here?
Dr. Jarvis Pym: No.
Maxwell: Oh, that makes two of us. What in here, 99?
Agent: Anti-pro-anti-Sodium Calcium Chloride. If you take Sodium Calcium Chloride and Max brings you back to life with Anti-Sodium Calcium Chloride and you decide to destroy yourself again with Pro-Anti-Sodium Calcium Chloride, Max will bring you back to life again with Anti-Pro-Anti-Sodium Calcium Chloride.
Dr. Jarvis Pym: Well, that's easy enough for you to say. I've run out of rings.
Maxwell: Well I'm glad to hear that, it was my turn next.

The: [to Edward] Let us pretend that we are in the drawing room and the hostess is serving tea. Now many numerous little questions confront us. Should the man rise when he accepts his cup of tea? May lump sugar be taken with the fingers? No. Is it good form to accept a second cup? Should the napkin be entirely unfolded or should the centre crease be allowed to remain? It is so easy to commit embarrassing blunders, but etiquette tells us just what is expected of us and guards us from all humiliation and discomfort. Mm, yes. Boring. Let us switch to, uh... to some poetry, hm? "There was an old man from the Cape, who made himself garments of crepe. When asked: will they tear? He replied: Here and there, but they keep such a beautiful shape!" That's right. Go ahead, smile, it's funny. That's right.

Maxwell: Of course! The old pestle in the mortar trick.
Dr. Jarvis Pym: No, the old mortar in the mortar trick.

Dr. Jarvis Pym: Observe.
[opens secret compartment in his ring]
Dr. Jarvis Pym: Sodium Calcium Chloride, do you know what that is?
Maxwell: An artificial sweetener?
Dr. Jarvis Pym: No, it's the second most deadly poison in the world.
Maxwell: What's the first?
Dr. Jarvis Pym: Artificial sweetener.