The Best Al McWhiggin Quotes

Al: [sadly] Welcome to Al's Toy Barn. We've got the lowest prices in town. Everything for a buck-buck-buck.
[cries]

Al: [in his car, leaving his apartment] I can't believe I have to drive ALL the way to work on a Saturday. All the way to work!
[drives to the Al's Toy Barn on the other side of the street]

[Whilst the toys search the Woody on Al's Office, unaware that he's not really there and in Al's Apartment, Al enters talking on the phone and walking over to the Fax Machine]
Slinky: [Whispering] It's him.
Hamm: The Chicken Man.
Buzz: Funny, he doesn't look like poultry.
Slinky: That's the Kidnapper alright.
Buzz: Kidnapper, an Agent of Zurg if I ever saw one.
Al: [Putting a photo of Woody through the Fax Machine] And the Piece de Resistance. I promise the Collection will be the Crown Jewel of your Museum.
[the photo pops out the Fax Machine through the other side, landing on the floor where the toys hid]
Slinky: It's Woody
Al: Now that I have your attention, imagine we added another Zero to the price, huh? What?
Al: [Overjoyed] Yes? Yes! You've got yourself a deal! I'll be on the next flight to Japan!
Mr. Potato Head: [Shocked] He's selling Woody to a Toy Museum.
Rex: In *Japan*.
[the toys all jump into Al's Bag]
Buzz: Into the Poultry Man's Cargo Unit. He'll lead us to Zurg. Move, move, move!
[Rex's tail hangs out of the bag, Al picks it up and laughs]
Al: [Cheering to himself] I'm gonna be rich! Rich! Rich!

Al: [to Geri the Cleaner whilst he's fixing Woody's arm] So, uh, how long is this gonna take?
Geri the Cleaner: Ya can't rush art.

Al: [on the phone as he starts packing] To overnight, 6 packages to Japan is how much? What? That's in yen, right? DOLLARS?'! Oh, you are deliberately takin' advantage of people in a hurry! You know that?'!

Woody: [Voice box] There's a Snake in my Boot.
[This catches the Attention of a Man in the corner at the Yard Sale, who picks Woody up, and glances at him, the camera covers his face up]
Al: [Gasps] Original hand-painted face, Natural dyed blanket-stitched vest,
[Looking at Woody's torn arm]
Al: Hmm, a little rip... fixable, if only you had your hand-stitched polyvinyl...
[Spots Woody's hat on the ground, and places it back on]
Al: [Overjoyed] A hat, yes I found him! I found him!