The Best Bartender Quotes

[Rick is unmoved by Morty's arguments that he should be happy at his friend Bird-person's wedding]
Rick: Excuse me, bartender. Can you make me a dumb grandson pep talk? It's one part lame advise about stuff you know nothing about and a *lot* of vodka.
Bartender: Mm-hm. I have a lot of vodka.
Rick: Then I'll take one of those. I don't need the rest.