Top 50 Quotes From Demi Moore

Malcolm: I am the Congressman's right hand.
Erin: You must be a very busy man.

Jennifer: Do you hate me?
Nicole: No, him. Does he tell you he loves you?
Jennifer: No.
Nicole: You'll get used to it.

Chico: Are you Ms. Grant?
Erin: [sarcastically] No, I'm Barbara Bush.
Chico: [to Shad] And you are?
Shad: George Bush.

Capt. West: [in West's office] Commander Galloway, why don't you get yourself a cup of coffee.
Galloway: Thank you, sir, I'm fine.
Capt. West: [irritated because she didn't understand his intention] Commander, I'd like you to leave the room so we can talk about you behind your back.
Galloway: Certainly, sir.

Cathy: Keep your goddamn clothes! I'll never get your putrid odor out of 'em anyway! And I got plenty now, see, plenty. Plenty, plenty, plenty! I'll just buy new stuff, goodbye.

Cathy: I've spend 3 months with this slob because of you! It's insane! It's crazy! He's never gonna inherit any money! He's just a fat, penniless pig and that's all he'll ever be!
Madame: So... the honeymoon is over?
Cathy: You don't get it, do you? Look, I'm through with the both of you! I mean, I'm not wasting any more of my time or my money, I'm finished, done, it's over! You're just... you're just a jerk! A phony! Stupid! Y'know what, it's garbage, just garbage!

Lt. Al Garcia: [re: Angela] Why don't you drop her off at our house?
Erin: I can't do that.
Lt. Al Garcia: Why not? I told Donna everything. Your whole situation. She said if you needed a hand she'd love to help.
Erin: She doesn't think I'm something out of "A Current Affair"?
Lt. Al Garcia: Erin, come on, you're a terrific girl. You know that, right? So you made a mistake a lot of terrific girls make, you married a bum. What are you gonna do? You gonna beat yourself up for the rest of your life?

Cathy: Who's the real guy? You gotta tell me!
Madame: That is the real guy! He's the one you will marry, the large man, I told you. I see everything. He is the one who will inherit the fortune after you're married. But listen, I told you, shortly after you are married he will die a violent death, I told you that! But... don't worry about it, have an Animal Cracker, eat. Trotsky swears by them!

Lt. Weinberg: [refering to Dawson and Downey after court has adjourned for the day] Why do you like them so much?
Galloway: Because they stand on a wall and say, "Nothing's going to hurt you tonight, not on my watch."

Charlie: Look, uh, I know you don't want to go out with me. But, uh, me, see, I'm the kind of guy... I just, uh, I just don't take no for an answer.
Cathy: Then how about never. Like no way. Not for all the money in the world.
Charlie: See, the thing is, you move me baby.
Cathy: Get serious. Allied Van Lines couldn't move you.

Darrell: [seizes Erin from behind and holds a knife to her neck] Evenin', everybody!
Erin: Oh, shoot!
Darrell: Where's my little 'un?
Erin: Where you can't get her.
Darrell: Is that ever the wrong answer. Now you bring her to me right now!
Erin: I am not bringing her to you anywere in this lifetime.
Darrell: Well, then I guess I'll just have to go to that nice old judge and tell him my whore of a wife has abducted...
Erin: Well, guess what, Darell? The judge is dead! So if you want Angela, then you're just going to have to kill me. Go on!
Darrell: Think I'm afraid to? You think I don't have the manliness to take your life?
Erin: Oh no, honey, you know what, I think you are all man. That death row lethal injection thing? Nah, come on, that's not gonna scare you!
Darrell: [hesitates, then] They'd never execute a daddy.
Erin: No?

Sally: Come on, would you cheer up? Marry the guy! I mean, didn't Vorma say it was gonna be a short marriage?
Cathy: [imitating Madame Vorma's accent] Yes, my darling. Soon he inherits the money then he dies, violently.
Sally: Mmm... did she say how?
Cathy: She didn't say exactly.
Sally: Maybe he's like... uh, hit by a car! Y'know, like a hit-and-run driver comes along, smashes him, spreads him all along the road?
Cathy: He is so big. I'm tellin' ya, he's huge. It would take like a... like a truck. A big ol' Mack truck just to flatten him. I got better. I can see him sittin' at a big ol' table full of food just stuffin' his big ol' fat face. And then he starts to choke on a big ol' piece of meat and then he starts gaggin' and spewin' food and his eyes start to bulge out, y'know, watering and his veins are poppin' out...
[they both start laughing]
Sally: Go for it, Cat. You gotta go for it!

Cathy: Madame Vorma was wrong. I got the money and you didn't. I've had my last dose of Charlie Marno! And thank god!
Charlie: What are you talking about?
Cathy: I'm talkin' about you, you creep! I don't need you anymore. I'm movin' out! No more smellin' that stinkin' sewer you call a body! I'm outta here. Thanks for 3 months of nausea.

Cathy: Madame Vorma's a dumb bitch.
Reporter: What?
Cathy: Uh, uh, it's a thrill to be rich!

Charlie: Actually, I'm, I'm pretty light on my feet.
Cathy: Yeah? I wish you were light on my feet.
Charlie: Sorry?
Cathy: I said you're such a delight to meet.

Jennifer: I really appreciate you not saying anything. My father's had a lot of experience; but, he'd never understand this. I wish he knew though.
Nicole: Why don't you tell him?
Jennifer: I want your Dad to.
Nicole: He won't. He's a coward.
Jennifer: Mine's blind.
Nicole: I'll trade you.
Jennifer: I sort of have.

Downey: [after the verdict was read] I don't understand... Colonel Jessup said he ordered the Code Red.
Galloway: I know but...
Downey: [nervously] Colonel Jessup said he ordered the Code Red! What did we do wrong?
Galloway: It's not that simple...
Downey: [anxiously] What did we do wrong? We did nothing wrong!
Dawson: Yeah we did. We were supposed to fight for people who couldn't fight for themselves. We were supposed to fight for Willy.

Lt. Weinberg: [in Danny's apartment, referring to their new strategy] Alright, what do you suggest we do?
Galloway: I say we hit Jessup with the phony transfer order.
Lt. Weinberg: A transfer order without a witness.
Kaffee: We have a witness.
Lt. Weinberg: A dead witness.
Kaffee: And in the hands of a lesser attorney that'd be a problem.
Lt. Weinberg: Look at this, last night he's swimming in Jack Daniels and now he can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Kaffee: I'm getting my second wind. Sit down, both of you.
[Sees that they are already sitting]
Kaffee: Good. Jessup told Kendrick to order the code red, Kendrick did and our clients followed the order. The cover-up isn't our case - to win Jessup needs to tell the court members that he ordered the code red.
Lt. Weinberg: And now you think you can get him to just say it?
Kaffee: I think he wants to say it. I think he's pissed off that he's gotta hide from this. I think he wants to say that he made a command decision and that's the end of it.
[Starts imitating Jessup]
Kaffee: He eats breakfast 300 yards away from 4000 Cubans that are trained to kill him. And nobody's going to tell him how to run his unit least of all the Harvard mouth in his faggoty white uniform. I need to shake him, put him on the defensive and lead him right where he's dying to go.
Lt. Weinberg: That's it? That's the plan?
Kaffee: That's the plan.
Lt. Weinberg: And how are you going to that?
Kaffee: I have no idea. I need my bat.
Lt. Weinberg: What?
Kaffee: I need my bat. I think better with my bat. Where's my bat?
Galloway: I put it in the closet.
Kaffee: You put it in the closet?
Galloway: I was tripping on it.
Kaffee: Don't ever put that bat in the closet.

Galloway: [showing up at his apartment unannounced] I'm sorry to bother you, I should have called first.
Kaffee: No, no, I was just watching a ball game. Come on in.
Galloway: I was wondering if... how'd you would feel about my taking you to dinner tonight.
Kaffee: Are you asking me out on a date?
Galloway: No...
Kaffee: It sounded like you were asking me out on a date.
Galloway: I wasn't.
Kaffee: I've been asked out on dates before, and that's what it sounded like.
Galloway: Do you like seafood? I know a good seafood place.

Charlie: Cathy, is that you?
Cathy: Yes it is! You fat, disgusting slob!

Cathy: And you want some advice, Charlie? Eat a salad once in a while... and take a bath!

Vincent: Bartholemew, entertain the lady.
Catherine: Yeah! Jennifer, did you know that Bartholomew knows a lot about the city's sewers?
Jennifer: Uh.. no. He, he never mentioned that..
Bartholemew: Yeah, well, the, the sewers. Well, that's where I live, right? So... you know, I use them to get around a lot, so... I don't know, it's funny, but you can learn a lot about the city that way.

Cathy: Say, Charlie...
Charlie: What?
Cathy: Have you heard from your uncle? Y'know, the rich one, at the factory, yeah?
Charlie: Nah, why would I hear from him? He's out West, with his family.
Cathy: Family? Goddamnit, Charlie! Why didn't you tell me he had family?
Charlie: What's the big deal?
Cathy: Big deal? Are you nuts? Are you outta your fuckin' mind? You crazy? What's the big deal? It's only my goddamn fuckin' future, that's all! Shit!

Congressman David Dilbeck: You don't know how much I love you. I even sent my man Erb to collect your lint!
Erin: My *lint*?
Congressman David Dilbeck: Fresh, hot lint!
Erin: And what did you do with that fresh, hot lint?
Congressman David Dilbeck: Well, I'm afraid I made love to it.

Charlie: Hey! Are you playing hard to get?
Cathy: No. Just try impossible to get.

Galloway: The doctor's wrong.
Kaffee: [jokingly, in his apartment] What a relief. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to use the liar-liar-pants-on-fire defense.

Matthew: [knocks on door] Nicci?
Nicole: Go away. This is a recording.

Erin: [Shad has just put a roach in a container of yogurt] So, this is the new brainstorm, huh?
Shad: Accordin' to the Wall St. Journal we got here the hottest selling yogurt in the country. I bring this in, say my hair fell out from the shock. BOOM! They pay off big time. My lawyer thinks it's a genius idea.
Erin: Your lawyer has an office over a video store.
Shad: Call me a dreamer. I don't wanna be a bouncer forever.

Nicole: I'm no longer a carnivore. I don't eat anything that's ever had parents.
Matthew: We have artichokes, they're orphans.

Erin: I can't still be working here when I go to court. "Oh yes your honor; I found a new job... I'm working at the Eager Beaver!"

Erin: If I come back tomorrow, can we talk more about my case?
Congressman David Dilbeck: We can talk about anything you want, long as you're naked.

Cathy: Al, look at this guy who just walked in. Jesus, is he huge!
Al: Which guy?
Cathy: Which guy? How can you miss him? He's so big he probably has his own ZIP code.
Al: Oh, you mean the full-sized guy? Not your type, huh?
Cathy: I don't even think he's my species!

Kaffee: [after going over their case for the night in his apartment] And don't wear that perfume in court, it wrecks my concentration.
Galloway: Really.
Kaffee: I was talking to Sam.

Galloway: [refering to Jessup] You put him on the stand and you get it from him!
Kaffee: [sarcastically, refering to Jessup in his apartment] Oh, we get it from him! Yes! No problem! We get it from him.
[turns to Sam as if he were Jessup on the stand]
Kaffee: Colonel Jessup, isn't it true that you ordered the Code Red on Santiago?
Lt. Weinberg: Listen, we're all a little...
Kaffee: [interrupts with game-show buzzer sound] eeehhhhh! I'm sorry, your time's run out! What do we have for the losers, judge? Well, for our defendants, it's a life time at exotic Fort Leavenworth! And, for defense counsel Kaffee, that's right, it's a court martial! Yes, Johnny! After falsely accusing a highly decorated Marine officer of conspiracy and perjury, Lieutenant Kaffee will have a long and prosperous career teaching... typewriter maintenance at the Rocco Globbo School for Women! Thank you for playing "Should we or should we not follow the advice of the galactically stupid!"

Galloway: [after sensing his contempt for Dawson and Downey after court has adjourned for the day] Why do you hate them so much?
Lt. Weinberg: They beat up on a weakling; that's all they did. The rest is just smokefilled coffee-house crap. They tortured and tormented a weaker kid. They didn't like him. So, they killed him. And why? Because he couldn't run very fast.

Charlie: I know I'm a... I'm a little overweight...
Cathy: A little overweight? Yeah, and Hitler was a little anti-Semitic. And Eisenhower's a little bald. And the Pope's a little Catholic.

Kaffee: [mildly intoxicated in his apartment] Anyway, since we seem to be out of witnesses, I thought I'd drink a little.
Galloway: I still think we can win.
Kaffee: [jokingly] Maybe you should drink a little.

Matthew: Maybe we ought to talk about boys.
Nicole: Boys?
Matthew: Ground rules.
Jennifer: That's if we get any boys on the ground.

Cathy: Sally, Madame Vorma was a total waste of time. She was a real quack. She went into this bizarro act and started out that Clayton was gonna fire me today. I told her that asshole's not even in town.
Mr. Clayton: Actually, Miss Finch, "that asshole" came back unexpectedly.

Galloway: [to Danny as walks out his office building] Hi, there.
Kaffee: Having any luck in getting me replaced?
Galloway: Is there anyone in this command that you don't eat or drink or play softball with?
Kaffee: Commander, I...
Galloway: Listen, I came to make peace. We got off on the wrong foot. What do you say? Friends?
Kaffee: I don't think...
Galloway: By the way, I brought Downey some comic books he was asking for. The kid, Kaffee, I swear, he doesn't know where he is. He doesn't even know why he's been arrested.
Kaffee: Commander?
Galloway: You can call me Joanne.
Kaffee: Joanne?
Galloway: Or Jo.
Kaffee: Jo?
Galloway: Yes?
Kaffee: If you speak to a client of mine again without my permission, I'll have you disbarred. Friends?
Galloway: I had authorization.
Kaffee: From where?
Galloway: Downey's closest living relative, Ginny Miller, his aunt on his mother's side.
Kaffee: You got authorization from Aunt Ginny?
Galloway: I gave her a call like you asked. Very nice woman we spoke for about an hour.
Kaffee: [before getting into his car] You got authorization from Aunt Ginny.
Galloway: Perfectly within my province.
Kaffee: Does Aunt Ginny have a barn? We can hold the trial there. I can sew the costumes. Maybe his Uncle Goober can be the judge.
Galloway: I'm going to Cuba with you tomorrow.
Kaffee: [before driving off] And the hits just keep on coming.

Kaffee: [in an empty hallway after work hours] You and Dawson, you both live in the same dream world. It doesn't matter what I believe. It only matters what I can prove! So please, don't tell me what I know or don't know. I know the LAW.
Galloway: You know nothing about the law. You're a used- car salesman, Daniel. You're an ambulance chaser with a rank. You're nothing. Live with that.

Nicole: She's in love, you know?
Matthew: She thinks so.
Nicole: If you think so, you are.

Charlie: Cathy, I love Chinese food, except, for one thing...
Cathy: You feel like eating again 20 minutes later?
Charlie: [roars with laughter] How did you know that?

Cathy: Sally, I just don't think I can go through with it.
Sally: Why not? Madame Vorma's been right about everything else, hasn't she?
Cathy: Yeah, but this guy, he's just too grotesque to look at. Let alone do. Jeez, he'd probably smother me.

Shad: You talk to her?
Erin: Darrell's phone's disconnected. I think he moved again.
Shad: You know, I'd embrace the opportunity to maim his white ass up.
Erin: I know you would, and that's really thoughtful, but I don't think it would help my case in court if I had him attacked.

Charlie: I love married life.
Cathy: It's rich, isn't it?

Erin: Well, up until 8 weeks ago, I worked for the FBI Miami... secretary... until I got fired for having a defective husband.

Galloway: [talking through the batting cage fence] I don't think you're fit to handle the defense.
Kaffee: You don't even *know* me. Ordinarily it takes someone *hours* to discover I'm not fit to handle a defense.

Erin: [after Dilbeck grabs her] Finally you take me like a man, like a... Congress man!

Congressman David Dilbeck: [practicing in front of a mirror] Hello, Erin. My name is Congressman Dilbeck. You are... you're a beauty.
[Erin enters the salon behind him; Dilbeck turns and stares]
Erin: Good evening. I'm Erin Grant.
[Dilbeck nods dumbly]
Erin: [little laugh] And you must be...
Congressman David Dilbeck: [stuttering] Con... Comback Dilbeck. Uh, uh, Con-Congressman, uh, Dildo.
[laughs nervously]
Congressman David Dilbeck: I am... Congressman David Dilbeck. And welcome, welcome.