The Best Dick Tremayne Quotes

Dick: Alright class, what did that sip reveal for us? What flavors are we enjoying?
Lucy: Tastes kind of woody.
Dick: No, not really. Anyone else? Lana?
Lana: Banana?
Dick: Yes. There is a hint of banana. That's the metaphoric acid. Very good. What else?
Deputy: Chocolate!
Dick: Correct, Andy.
Lucy: Why don't we just skip the wine and have a banana split?

Tim: [holding a pine weasel] Unfortunately this little friendly fella is incredibly curious, making him very easy for one to trap.
[the weasel moves towards Dick]
Tim: He is also attracted to bright shiny objects.
Dick: Must be my studs.
Tim: And also, it is amazing, he is particularly attracted to various smells, like, believe it or not, very cheap cologne. I think he wants to give you a kiss, Dick.
Dick: Oh please, Mr Pinkle!

Lucy: It's been 6 weeks Dick, you'd said were gonna call.
Dick: I know. I lost your phone number.
Lucy: I work for the Sheriff, you could'a dialed 9-1-1.
Dick: Oh Lucy, I do apologize, I been so terribly busy. Honestly, I barely have the time to feed my cat.

- Lana?
- Oh, did I do that?
- What are you looking for?
- Well, now, I don't know the exact technical name for it, but...
- Does anything...?
- Does anything in here look like it?
Lana: Oh, I think this might be it.
Dick: Oh, by George, I think you've got it.

- sponsored by home industries, to benefit the stop ghostwood development movement.
- Something to do with wine.
Dick: And now, to the tasting.
- Lana, Lucy, if you'd like to help me pour, please.

Dick: Lucy?
Lucy: Dick.
Dick: Lucy, I haven't slept. I can't eat. I've been absolutely miserable.
Lucy: You have?
Dick: I've been a fool, a cad, the way I've behaved, and I'm deeply, deeply ashamed.
Lucy: You are?
Dick: I've been over it in my mind a million times and what I've come to is this: I have to - no, I must do the right thing.
Lucy: You must?
Dick: [pulling an envelope from his pocket] It's everything I could scrape together. I'm completely knackered.
Lucy: What is this?
Dick: $650. I've called around, I've been told it's more than adequate.
Lucy: For what?
Dick: For the... to take care of... you know, the... little problem.
Lucy: Richard, here's what you're going to do. Take your money, put it back in your wallet, or your pocket, turn around, walk through both sets of doors, the second one sticks sometimes, go out into the parking lot, get in your car, turn the key, and never, ever speak to me again as long as you live! Say one more word and I'll scream. Leave, please.
Dick: [starts to speak]
Lucy: [screams]