The Best Audrey Horne Quotes

Emory: You don't know what you're dealing with, Miss Horne. You don't know how deep you're in.
Audrey: Oh, yes I do. I'm Audrey Horne and I get what I want.

Audrey: What a gyp. Finally meet the man of my dreams and next thing I know he's on a plane to Brazil.
Pete: He'll be back one day. He promised.
Audrey: Yeah. Well, he also promised to take me fishing, and we never did. Love stinks.
Pete: Fishing?
Audrey: Yeah. Pearl Lake or something.
Pete: [pause] I have some tackle in the truck.
Audrey: You do?
Pete: Audrey, there are many cures for a broken heart, but nothing quite like a trout's leap in the moonlight. May I?
Audrey: [she laughs] You may.
[they walk back to the truck, arm in arm]

Benjamin: If you ever pull another stunt like that, you are going to be scrubbing bidets in a Bulgarian convent.
Audrey: [mocking] Oh, Daddy, I'm so afraid.

Sven: Excuse me, is there something wrong, young pretty girl?
Audrey: They found my friend Laura... lying facedown on a rocky beach... completely naked. She'd been murdered.

Bobby: Is there anything I can do for you?
Audrey: How about taking me out for some ice cream?
Bobby: Cup or cone?
Audrey: Cone. I like to lick.

Audrey: But don't you like me?
- I like you very much.
- You're beautiful, intelligent, desirable.
- You're everything that a man wants in his life.
- But what you need right now, more than anything else, is a friend.
- Someone who will listen.

Audrey: [Audrey and John are trying to say goodbye on the runway next to John's airplane] I am a virgin!
John: You're what?
Audrey: I want you to make love with me...
John: What? Here and now?
Audrey: It's your jet...
[laughing]
John: Thank God for that!
[kisses Audrey]

[first lines]
Special: Audrey, you're a high school girl. I'm an agent of the FBI.
Audrey: So, do you want me to leave or what?
Special: What I want and what I need are two different things, Audrey.

Audrey: [to Agent Cooper] You know, there's only one problem with you: you're perfect.

- Um, I lost that number that he gave me for black Rose.
- Do you have it?
- Yeah, I got it.
Audrey: Great.
Jenny: Here.
- Okay, I'll talk to you later.
Audrey: Okay, see you tomorrow.

Audrey: [to Cooper] I prayed... I prayed that you would come. And you did.

Dale: Were you friends with Laura Palmer?
Audrey: Not exactly. You see, Laura tutored my brother Johnny three times a week. Johnny's 27 and he's in the third grade. He's got emotional problems. Runs in the family.
[pause]
Audrey: Do you like my ring?

Audrey: Wait. One more question. Did Laura know that my father owned it?
Emory: Owned what?
Audrey: One-Eyed Jacks! Did she know that he was the owner the whole time she worked here?
Emory: I don't know. I never asked, and she never asked.
[Audrey strangles Emory harder with the cord]
Emory: [gagging] AHHH! Yes... I guess... probably she did. Laura was a wild girl. She always got what she wanted... just like you Miss Horne. Just like you.

- Big Amos still running things out there?
Audrey: Mm. Bigger and better.
Blackie O'Reilly: Big Amos is the name of my dog.
- I read the Scarlet letter in high school just like you did.
- Give me one good reason why I shouldn't airmail your bottom back to civilization.

Audrey: I love this music. Isn't it too dreamy?

Audrey: I can't believe you were ever my age.
Dale: I've got the pictures to prove it.

Audrey: I'm sinking! I'm sinking!

Audrey: There he is. Step on it.
- Jack! Jack, stop!
- I guess a simple goodbye was out of the question.

Audrey: Talk, Emory! I want to know everything. About you, Laura, Ronnette, One-Eyed Jacks.
Emory: All right! I work for the owner of One-Eyed Jacks.
Audrey: Who is?
Emory: That's all you need to know. I work for the owner of One-Eyed Jacks.
Audrey: [strangles Emory with an electric cord] Who is?
Emory: [gagging] Your father! Ben Horne! He owns this place. He owns everything in Twin Peaks, including me. I run girls through the perfume counter at Horne's Department Store. That's how I recruited Laura Palmer and Ronnette Pulaski.
Audrey: Did Laura and Ronnette both work here?
Emory: Yes... on weekends they would come up here to service the clientele. Ronnette worked here until that night. As for Laura... one weekend a few months ago, she was caught using drugs. So, Blackie and I threw her out and we never saw her again. That's the truth, I swear.
Audrey: Did my father know that Laura worked here?
Emory: Yes. Mr. Horne makes it his personal business to entertain all the girls on their very first night.

Audrey: Do you like my ring?
FBI: Very nice.
Audrey: You know, sometimes I get so flushed, it's interesting. Do your palms ever itch?

Jerry: Now, Audrey, you know I was upset too, but there's some projects, both domestic and international, that *I*'d like a chance to develop. I mean, one man's crisis is another man's opportunity.
[kisses her forehead]
Audrey: Let me tell you something, Uncle Jerry. We leave him the way he is, and I become executor of the estate.
Jerry: Oh, Audrey, it's a little more complicated than that, sweetheart.
Audrey: No it isn't. I examined his will, Jerry. If my father becomes incapacitated, it all goes to me when I'm old enough. And I *am* old enough, Jer, and he *is* incapacitated. I have my way either way. Where the only project you'll be developing is selling baseboard heaters at the local Cash 'n' Carry.
Jerry: [sees the light] What's happened to the man is a tragedy.
Audrey: It is a tragedy, Jer.

Audrey: Jack! Jack stop!
John: [gets out of his jet] I guess a simple goodbye was out of the question.
Audrey: [they kiss] I love you.
John: I love you, too.
Audrey: Do you have to leave?
John: Yes.
Audrey: When will you be back?
John: I don't know.
Audrey: [pause] I'm a virgin.
John: You're a what?
Audrey: I want you to make love with me.
John: What? Here and now?
Audrey: [shrugs] It's your jet.
John: Thank God for that.
[they kiss and enter the jet]

Blackie: The owner was a little disappointed in your performance last night.
Audrey: Well, the owner isn't exactly my type.
Blackie: And what is your type exactly?
Audrey: Not you. No offense.