Top 20 Quotes From G. Callen

G. Callen: Memories. Well, maybe not in your case.
Joelle: You're expecting an apology.
G. Callen: Is there a reason why we're not having this conversation at the Lompoc Women's Prison?
Joelle: I was doing my job. W-We've gone over this multiple times. It's almost like you're the one who got hit in the head.
G. Callen: Mm-hmm. And, uh, Mr. GQ, I take it that's your next mark?
Joelle: It's my husband. You could have really ruined things for me. Showing up like that.
G. Callen: That's your real family? How old is your kid?
Joelle: 6
G. Callen: So when we were... together... you had a three year old son at home?
Joelle: Anything else I can help you with, Callen?
G. Callen: No. No, I'm good.

Special: There's something you need to see.
[pulls up a postcard from David Kessler]
Special: This came in at NCIS headquarters in Quantico.
Kensi: Kessler.
G. Callen: That's definitely the Santa Monica pier.
Kensi: "Dear Agent Blye. How right you were. Life is too short. Wish you were here. David".
Sam: The good news: He doesn't know where you work when he sent this to you.
G. Callen: Let's do a forensic analyst. See if it's authentic. We don't know if he's here in LA.
Sam: If it's authentic, let's do a deep dive too see if there's a composite to when it was taken, then check the security footage.
Marty: Maybe we can use that to track him down.
G. Callen: Hold on. The trouble is he was pardoned by our former President. So far he's a free man who's done nothing illegal.
Marty: Come on, life's too short. That's an obvious threat to a federal officer.
Kensi: It's a minimal threat, Deeks. It'll never get a confession.
Sam: Let's just find him before he finds Kensi.

Sam: She is a very good mum!
G. Callen: Because of the ice cream deprivation?
Sam: Refined sugar causes childhood obesity and diabetes...
G. Callen: ...and happiness!
G. Callen: I think there is a place for moderation otherwise the kida are constantly craving the things they can't have.
Sam: Thank you, Dr. Spock!

G. Callen: Just out of curiosity, what does a rug like this go for?
Ben: That's two hundred and thirty thousand.
G. Callen: Dollars.
Ben: [nods]
G. Callen: For a rug.
Sam: It's probably a hundred years old.
G. Callen: Oh, and it's used.

Nell: Please tell me you have something. I'm getting an awful lot of heat from DARPA and NMOTC
G. Callen: And it's just a matter of time before the rest of the acronyms join in

G. Callen: Jenkins bus just got off the freeway. He should be here any minute.
Marty: You know, I think you might be on to something there.
G. Callen: About Jenkins?
Marty: Not Jenkins! About Kensi and me. About maybe our thing, maybe our tradition should be we do new things.
G. Callen: Well, you don't have kids, no responsibilities. No reason not to go to Fiji in December.
Marty: Ooh, the waves are firing this time of year.
G. Callen: It's also, uh, summertime in Argentina right now.
Marty: Oh, my God. Kensi doing the salsa?
G. Callen: [excitedly] Did you see that?
Marty: What?
G. Callen: I just saved Christmas!
[Deeks chuckles]
G. Callen: I did!
Marty: Fair enough, Rick Steves. What about you? You got nothing tying you down.
G. Callen: Ah, I hate airport lines.
Marty: But you have a car.
G. Callen: I grew up in and out of other peoples houses. I appreciate the chance to stay put in my own.
Marty: Yeah, but your place doesn't even have a Tiki bar. In fact, your place doesn't even have chairs.
G. Callen: Not true. I have a dining room set.
Marty: I'll be sure to alert Architectural Digest.
G. Callen: [chuckles]

G. Callen: [Team leaves ops] We're gonna be stuck here for a while, we might as well be productive.
Marty: Does watching surfing on my laptop count as productive?
[Callen chuckles]
Kensi: Deeks and I will grab the weapons from the cars and prep them.
G. Callen: Alright. Sounds good. We'll file the after-action reports.
Sam: We? You got a frog in your pocket?

Marty: No. No, no, no. Look at that. The-the angles are shoddy, the lines are drooping.
G. Callen: Looks fine to me.
Marty: Uh, no offense, this is kind of my area of expertise.
G. Callen: Oh yeah? You and Kens gonna light up the neighbourhood Griswold style?
Marty: Yeah I wanted to, but she wasn't really down this year.
G. Callen: Yeah, she's been through a lot. You'll always have next year.
Marty: I was really looking forward to decking the crap out of those halls.
G. Callen: I never really got it, I mean all that work for so little time.
Marty: Buddy, it's about the tradition.
G. Callen: Why not just do something different every year? Make that your tradition.
Marty: No, not the same thing. You know what, when I was growing up, no matter how crazy things got around the house, my mom made sure that the holidays were the one constant in our life.
G. Callen: I can see it now, Little Deeks out on the farm with a hot chocolate, looking for the perfect tree.
Marty: Yeah, kind of, except for the farm was the back of an am/pm, and instead of hot chocolate, my mom was cranking menthols.
G. Callen: Right out of a Norman Rockwell painting.

G. Callen: Deeks, take Hetty in the Audi.
Marty: All right.
Hetty: We'll take my car.
Marty: Uh, Miss Daisy isn't supposed to drive.
Hetty: [shrugs] Come on.
Marty: All right.
[Cuts to them in a car, tires screeching as it stops, Deeks screams]
Marty: Fraggle Rock! Oh...
[inhales sharply]
Hetty: We must have beat Callen and Sam.
Marty: Yeah I think we also beat the sound barrier. Yay. You, by chance, weren't the one that taught Nell how to drive, were you?
Hetty: No, I-I gave her a few defensive driving lessons.
Marty: Yeah, i can see that.
Hetty: You should probably get a haircut.
Marty: Oh, don't worry. Next time, I'll wear a helmet. Possibly a parachute. Definitely a diaper.
G. Callen: [Callen and Hanna pull up and get out of the car] Told you she was fast.
Sam: How'd you beat us here?
Hetty: I took a shortcut.
Marty: It was a sidewalk. You took a sidewalk.

Hetty: I like to look at something familiar from a new perspective. The view from my office is different than the view from your office.
G. Callen: You wanted me to see her that way.
Hetty: I wanted you to see the whole picture. It wasn't strictly personal. Did you ask her about Sabatino?
G. Callen: You know I did, but that's not the point.
Hetty: Facing one's pain... head-on and cauterizing the wounds, it's true bravery. Ignoring, denying, deluding ourselves just, um, leads to more heartbreak.
G. Callen: I wonder if that really is her family.
Hetty: Does it matter, Mr. Callen? Lately, I see sunshine coming from the cracks in that wall you've been rebuilding and rebuilding around yourself.
G. Callen: Yeah, I'm gonna have that looked at.
Hetty: Mmm. I hated her just as much as you did for hurting you.

G. Callen: Hold on a second- why is NCIS getting involved?

G. Callen: Deeks, get out or I'm sending agents to throw you out. I'm NOT kidding. and give Fatima your comm.

Sam: I'm like Gollum?
G. Callen: Get in the car, Precious.

Marty: I'm saying, start small. Hetty steps. You know, just get a tiny tree.
G. Callen: Why don't you just burn my house down and save me the hassle?
Marty: Nell, can you please tell Callen to let joy into his life?
Nell: Actually, Christmas trees start over 200 house fires every year.
G. Callen: [fist bumps Nell] Mmm-hmm.
Marty: [sarcastically] Who hurt you?
Nell: [chuckles]

Sam: No, the professor didn't hate anybody, especially not his students.
Nick: Then why did he pull me aside during the last week of training and tell me to quit?
G. Callen: Those were his exact words?
Nick: No. His exact words were, "You are a lone wolf, not a team player."
G. Callen: Was he wrong?
Sam: My dad used to say after practice, "If the coach is yelling, it's a good thing."
G. Callen: Yeah, it means he cares.
Sam: It's when the coach stops riding you. Then you should be worried

Timothy: I can't believe this. You guys are accusing me of treason in my own house?
G. Callen: It is nothing personal.
Timothy: Really? Then why aren't we doing this in the conference room?
Sam: We didn't know where that was.
Timothy: You didn't know where *this* room was! I had to show you.

Anna: I'm like Gollum?
G. Callen: Get in the car, Precious.

G. Callen: What do you think?
Sam: What do I think? I think you're embarrassing.
G. Callen: If I'm gonna pay a quarter of a million dollars for a carpet, the damn thing better fly.
Sam: [laughing] Ok, Aladdin!

G. Callen: [looks at an origami animal] Anteater?
[Sam shakes his head]
G. Callen: Tapir?
Sam: It's actually something a little more rare with a long nose.
G. Callen: Mr. Snuffleupagus?

G. Callen: [finds a picture of David Kessler and Michelle Boucher] She wasn't scared of him.
Marty: What are you saying?
G. Callen: I'm looking at a photo of Kessler and Michelle. They're in love. It was in the drawer of her dresser.
Kensi: No, she wouldn't keep that.
Sam: She would if they were working together.
Kensi: Are you telling me that she left to be with him?
G. Callen: This was all a plan. He didn't escape with Sinclair because he didn't want to.
Sam: He got caught on purpose.
G. Callen: He wanted to leverage Sinclair, a known assassin, to get himself out of prison.
Sam: She wasn't a victim. She was his partner.
Kensi: He was having trouble getting in touch with the president to threaten that he had something on him.
G. Callen: We just gave him a direct line to the White House.
Sam: Worse. We helped him get out of prison.
Marty: Yeah. And now he's coming after Kensi.