100 Best Jessica Alba Quotes

Max: If he gets out of line, I'll just kill him.

Marv: [seeing Nancy covered in scars] Just give me a name.
[long pause]
Nancy: ...Roark.

Max: Whats that?
Alec/X5: It's a hole in my body made by a bullet.
Max: Been there,done that. Check the news.

Dochnovich: [to alec and max] All right, here are the rules. Well, there ain't no rules. Hitting below the belt's allowed... eye gouging's allowed...
Alec/X5: [while the announcer talks] Max, you don't want to fight me.
Max: Are you kidding? I've been waiting for this chance for months.
Alec/X5: Yeah, well, see, you're just a girl, and so -
[Max punches him]
Normal: Hey! She jumped the bell! What are you doing? She jumped the bell!
[the announcer quickly leaves the ring]
Dochnovich: [to the ring girl] Ring the bell! Will you ring the bell?
[She rings it]
Alec/X5: Should've known you'd cheat
[Max kicks Alec in the leg]
Max: That's for the virus.
Alec/X5: That was not my fault!
[She punches him]
Max: That's for trying to kill Joshua.
Alec/X5: I was just trying to protect my own...
[She punches him twice]
Max: And that's for getting paint all over my research papers
Alec/X5: Okay, yeah, that was my bad.
[Max punches Alec again]
Max: That's for making Joshua deliver your packages.
Alec/X5: Max, cut it out!
[She kicks and punches him]
Max: That's for losing my baseball. And this...
[Kicks Alec in the stomach]
Max: ... is for whatever stupid thing you do next.
Normal: Kick her ass!
Alec/X5: Okay. That's it.
[Max goes to kick Alec again, but he grabs her leg, punches her, and shoves her to the ground. Before she can get up, he kicks her. She lands near the edge of the ring, in front of Normal]
Normal: Oh, lovely!
[to Max]
Normal: You better be at work tomorrow, there, miss. Huh, pumpkin?
[Yelling, to Alec]
Normal: Kill the messenger!
[Max stands up. Alec smiles]
Alec/X5: My turn now, bitch
Max: What'd you just call me?
Alec/X5: [chuckling] You heard me. B-I-T-C...
Max: Oh, look at that. Ring girl just lost her top
Alec/X5: [not believing her] Yeah
[Despite his disbelief, Alec can't help glancing at the ring girl. She smiles at him, top intact. Max takes the opportunity to kick him in the groin]
Alec/X5: [the crowd groans. Eventually the women in the crowd cheer. Alec stops in his tracks, wide-eyed with pain. Max pushes him a little and he falls over]
Max: Oops. Sorry

Original: Damn girl, what's in those pills?
Max: Spinach.

Max: You're such a gentleman, too bad I'm not a lady.

[first lines]
Max: What's up ?
Cynthia: Marina and little Sooky are having themselves an old fashioned throw-down.

[first lines]
Logan: Appreciate you doing this for me, Max. You almost ready ?
Max: Ahuh.
Logan: Fat Tony and his crew always show up at the 49 Club by 9. Get there late and you risk them already hooking up with there comadas ?
Max: A what ?

Sartana: I thought Machete don't text.
Machete: Machete improvises.

[first lines]
Max: Huh.
Joshua: Virus bitch going down ?
Max: I'm working on it.

Original: [There is a rat on the counter and Max yells out] What's wrong?
Max: Mickey's cracked out cousin thinks he's settin' up house in our crib.

Zack: You seem nervous.
Max: Compared to what? You don't even know me.
Zack: Maybe we knew each other in a past life.
Max: I don't believe in that stuff.
Zack: Doesn't mean it's not true.
Max: Oh, please tell me you're not one of those people: because a raindrop fell in the ocean 10,000 years ago... and a butterfly farted in India... you and I are sitting right here right now... enjoying a cup of coffee that tastes like goat piss.

Sartana: I called in a few favors. Look at this. Got you all the right papers. You can start over now, be a real person.
Machete: [hands back the papers] Why do I want to be a real person when I'm already a myth?

Max: i'll take him on
AA: ladies and gentleman we have a new challenger
Alec: what the hell are you doing?
Max: I told you to take a dive. Now i'm gonna have to beat your ass myself.
Alec: what do you have against me making money?
AA: [To Max] What's your name cupcake?
Alec: She doesn't have a name. You know what? she's not here. she's not fighting.
Max: Oh, yes i am
AA: Ladies, and Gentlemen, in this corner, hailing from parts unknown, let's hear it for the curvaceous killer

Max: [Max is carrying Brain on her back, and he's a heavy load. Then he informs her that he turned himself in to the police on purpose] You what? I'm dying because you turned youself in on purpose!
Brain: I thought you were supposed to be strong.
Max: I'm not Superwoman!

[last lines]
Max: Wonder if Manticore cooked up any more of me ? One clone is plenty. Especially when she's got a nasty left hook. She was right about one thing though. Running away isn't the answer. 'Cos as messed up as everything's gotten lately, this is home.

Susan: Did you know I can create a force field inside someone's body and expand it until they explode?

Max: Guess we're just gonna have to get their attention, then.
Alec: Please tell me you're gonna get naked.

Reed: Your encounter with the Surfer has affected your molecules. They're... in a constant state of flux.
Johnny: Is that bad?
Reed: Well, it caused you to temporarily switch powers with Sue. Ideally, I'd like to run some more tests.
Ben: [walks toward Johnny] Would you like a volunteer?
Reed: No, no, no!
Johnny: No, no! Hey! This is serious.
Ben: I just wanted to give him a hug.
Susan: We don't know the extent of his condition yet.
Reed: It could be progressive. It could be degenerative.
Ben: It could be fun!
[Ben touches Johnny and their powers switch]
Reed: No, Ben!
Susan: Ben!
Ben: Whoa! Hey! Hey, it's me. I'm back!
Johnny: [looks at his reflection from the bottom of a silver pitcher and sees he's become The Thing] Oh, my God! Come on! We just said this is serious!
Ben: Oh, yeah, serious.
Johnny: [looks back at his reflection] Oh, you got to be kidding me!

Donald: It was the best of you that ran away that night.
Max: Yeah, well, we wanted to start a rock band.

Nancy: This rotten town. Those it can't corrupt it soils. It soiled you, John Hartigan.

Ben: Nothing went wrong with me! I'm doing what I was made to do, what we were taught to do!
Max: Hunt people down to perform amateur dental surgery? I must've missed that class.

[last lines]
Sartana: Where will you go?
Machete: Everywhere.
Sartana: Then I'll ride with you...

Max: What the mind can conceive, the body can achieve.

Sam: Jack, grow some fucking balls.

Johnny: You know, don't look completely ridiculous in that dress.
Susan: Is that obnoxious brother talk for "You look kind of nice"?
Johnny: You look beautiful.
Susan: Thank you.
[Johnny slowly approaches Sue, looking her up and down. Finally he smiles]
Johnny: Dad would be proud.

Susan: Why are you trying to destroy us?
The: I am not the destroyer.

[first lines]
Joshua: [scratching badly] Aaaah! Damned fleas.
[looking at flea bomb instructions]
Joshua: To first start, activate and then immediate leave the area.
Max: Did you set it off ?
Joshua: Yeh.
Max: Okay. Let's do the other two and then get out of here before these little buggers eat us alive. Hold your breath. Ready ? On three, one, two, three !

Max: What's that?
Alec/X5: It's a hole in my body made by a bullet.
Max: Been there, done that. Check the news.

Susan: [after burning her clothes with Johnny's power and is now completely naked] Why does this always happen to me?

[while Max is giving Alec a fake lap dance to fit in at a strip club]
Max: Can we concentrate on coming up with a plan?
X5: I'm thinking.
Max: You're talking!
X5: I can do both.
Max: I doubt that.
X5: Well you just lost your tip...

[Original Cindy and Max are playing Scrabble. Max is in heat, and Original Cindy says it's obvious because of the words Max is making in the game]
Original: Jus' look at the words!
Max: What?
Original: Hung?
Max: Like a noose around your neck!
Original: Prick?
Max: Like from a needle! YOU have a dirty mind.
Original: Yeah well what about this one? Which I'm not even gonna say cause I kiss my momma with this mouth!

Dr. Jack Harper: He really did love you, Sam.
Sam: He didn't even know me.

Max: [Max is carrying Brain on her back, and he's a big guy, and he tells Max he turned himself into the police] You what? I'm dying because you turned yourself in on purpose?
Brain: I thought you were supposed to be strong.
Max: I'm not superwoman!

Sartana: Yes, I am a woman of the law. And there are lots of laws. But if they don't offer us justice, then they aren't laws! They are just lines drawn in the sand by men who would stand on your back for power and glory.

[first lines]
Cynthia: Max. If we don't leave absolutely positively right now we won't get in. Girl is always late. My oh my.
Max: Can you see my barcode ?
Cynthia: No sugar, but the rest of you is coming in loud and clear.

Nancy: Looks like trouble.
Marv: Looks like Christmas.

Max: Guys are the weaker sex.

Max: [Brain and Max are on her motorcycle and Brain puts his hands on her chest to hold on] Brain?
Brain: Yeah.
Max: Watch the hands!
Brain: I'm just trying to hang on here.
Max: Hang on a little lower.
[Brain moves his hands down to low]
Max: Not that low!

Max: Two million years of human evolution and this is what we get.
Max: You morons.

[last lines]
Logan: Well, you're off the hook, at least for today.
Max: Great. I can just be a regular girl then.
Logan: A regular girl. What fun is that ?
Max: Hey, I take what I can get.

Donald: This isn't as big a tragedy as you think it is.
Max: Whatever you have to tell yourself.

Max: " think I'll call you Alec, as in Smart Alec.
X5: I can live with that.
Max: Good, cuz my second choice was Dick.

Logan: In case you haven't caught on by now, this girl's gonna do what she's gonna do no matter what you or anyone else says, so you've got two choices: back off or pitch in.
Max: What he said.

Marissa: Where are the kids?
Carmen: Uhhhh, napping?
Marissa: OK, where are they really?

Max: We can play Pin the Tail on the Bar Code later.

Max: Logan, you've got nothing to be sorry for or ashamed of. It's never been about you not being able to walk. Not for me.
Logan: Will you look at us!
Max: Pathetic.
Logan: Hopeless.
Max: Lucky we hooked up.
Logan: Happy Anniversary.

Sartana: Well, there's the law and there's what's right. I'm gonna do what's right.

Sam: But hey you know what? As soon as you get out of here, we're gonna start from scratch. Get a little house on the beach, do it right, ya know? Chase seagulls, what do you say? As soon as you get out, I'll be right here.
Clay: I think my new heart will love you as much as my old one.

Reed: General Hager.
General: Let's talk somewhere private.
Susan: Unless you need to do Jell-O shots off someone's stomach.

Kendra: Where did you find cold-pressed virgin olive oil from Tuscany in this economy?
Max: I broke into the Italian embassy.

[last lines]
Cynthia: So things are still weird between you and Logan.
Max: Yeh, I guess.
Cynthia: Man still loves you, you know ? Risked his ass to save your life.
Max: Yeh.
Cynthia: If it wasn't for the CDC would have their hands on a real live trans-genic. Now all they got is a few funky lab results.
Max: And a whole lot of questions. And they're gonna want answers. And I've got a feeling they won't stop until they get them. We can't hide forever. Sooner or later we're gonna run out of luck. And I don't want to even think about what will happen then.

Max: At Manticore, Lydecker used to tell us the same thing - "there are no limits. "What the mind can conceive, the body can achieve... With the right training." Only we could still get shot and killed like Eva starve to death... Or drown. I've often wondered why we didn't just turn on him. We were stronger, faster. Any one of us could have snapped his neck before he knew what hit him, but we were too scared and he knew it.

Max: I'm not that high-minded. Lydecker's the one guy that knows what's going on in this freak show body of mine... Whether or not this bar code has an expiration date. I guess I couldn't let him die with that secret.
Logan: Whatever you have to tell yourself. Fact is, you saved a man's life.
Max: A bad man.

Max: Girls kick ass; says so on a t-shirt.

Jace: Feels like I just woke up from a bad dream.
Max: I know. One of the reasons why I don't sleep. Let me know if it's a boy or a girl.
Jace: Either way, name's gonna be Max.

Sartana: I started working on the night shift taking out the trash. But I worked my way up. As translator, assistant... Now I'm Special Agent in charge of investigations.
Machete: Sounds like they still got you taking out the trash.

Max: Ready?
X5: I'm always ready.
Biggs: Funny that's what Lola said.

General: [to Reed] Let me make this clear for you and your pack of freaks. I'm the quarterback, you're on my team. But I guess you didn't play football in high school, did you, Richards?
[Hager starts to walk away]
Reed: You're right. I didn't. I stayed in and studied like a good little nerd. And fifteen years later, I'm one of the greatest minds of the 21st century. I'm engaged to the hottest girl on the planet. And the big jock who played football in high school, he standing right in front of me asking me for my help, and I say he's not going to get a damn thing, unless he does exactly what I say and starts treating me and my friends with some respect.
General: [understandingly] Give him what he wants.
[Hagar walks away]
Susan: [to Reed] I'm so hot for you right now.
Johnny: [hugging Reed and switching powers] Me, too!

Susan: Reed, I know you. I'm glad you had fun.
Reed: Thank you.
Susan: Besides, it was nothing compared to what I did at my bachelorette party. Talk about wild.

The: [restrained in the lab] I know you are there.
Susan: [appears] What's your name?
[the Surfer doesn't answer]
Susan: Come on. You must have a name. I'm Susan.
[the Surfer still does not answer]
Susan: You said you weren't the one trying to destroy our world. Then who is?
The: The One I serve.
Susan: Who do you serve?
[No response]
Susan: Look, I'm trying to help you. But in order to do that, you have to tell me the truth. Please.
[the image of a ruined world appears on his stomach]
The: It is known by many names. My people called it... Galactus, the devourer of worlds. It must feed on energy to survive, both thermal and organic.
Susan: How could you willingly serve this thing?
The: Because I must.
Susan: Doesn't it bother you? All the worlds and innocent people you've helped destroy?
The: My service spares my world, and the one I love.
Susan: Why did you try to protect me?
The: Because you remind me of her.

Max: They screwed this whole thing upon purpose to escalate the situation.
Alec/X5: Yeah, well it worked.

Normal: Well, well, well... so far, your moron colleagues have come up with the following excuses for why you're strolling in here at the crack of noon - you had a dental emergency, your aunt died... again, and my personal favorite from this idiot - you were detained by the sector police for practicing witchcraft. Now, would you care to further insult my intelligence?
Max: I overslept.

[last lines]
Logan: I love you, Max.
Max: I love you, too.

Max: [while riding on Max's motorcycle, Brain puts his hands on Max's chest] Brain.
Brain: Yeah?
Max: Watch the hands!
Brain: I'm just trying to hang on here.
Max: Hang on a little lower.
[Brain moves his hands really low]
Max: Not that low!

Original: He's from Manticore, huh? Say what you want - they sure know how to make 'em pretty.
Max: Try spending an afternoon with him. He'll drive you crazy with his laughing, and his talking, and his breathing...
Original: Sugar, you got issues.

Rafer: [Max is in heat and runs into Rafer] Hey. It's Max, right?
Max: [She looks at him dreamily, then realizes what she's doing and freaks out] Normal! I need to take a personal day!
[She goes into Normal's office and he's ironing his shirt in his tank. Max is mesmorized by him and before she realizes what she's doing she tries to maul him. Original Cindy comes and pries Max off Normal and punches her in the face]
Max: Thanks. I needed that.
Original: [to Normal] Max needs a day off.
Normal: Take a week.
Original: [as O.C. and Max leave] Damn girl. I didn't think your condition was that bad.

Max: [After she finds a rat on the counter] Mickey's cracked out cousin thinks he's setting up house in our crib.

[first lines]
Logan: [answering machine] No one's around. Leave a message.
Max: Hey, it's me. Leaving a message. I haven't heard from you in a while. Just checking in. Hoping you're okay. All right, uhm. Take it easy.

[last lines]
Nancy: This rotten town... It soils everybody.

[from trailer]
Susan: I understand. I'm not angry.
Reed: Good.
[turns around starts to walk away. Steps into an invisible force field]
Susan: I'm not finished yet!
Reed: [turns around, speech is muffled by the force field] Please continue.

Max: I had to have radical emergency amateur brain surgery to remove a nanochip from my cerebellum before I stroked from a neurochemical overload."

Logan: I need a favor.
Max: You can keep this. I really don't have anyplace to put it.
Logan: I need you to do a little leg work for me. Joel Solinski. This guy's got a wife with three kids, an ex-wife with two kids, a mistress, and two girlfriends. The wives get houses, the mistress a condo, and everybody gets a car... all on a harbormaster's salary.
Max: I caught the tail end of your hack. The guy's on the take. He's paid to look the other way while the smugglers deep-six their cargo.
Logan: He's made a fortune... as an accessory to murder.
Max: Okay, so the guy's a beast. Doesn't mean I got to get involved.
Logan: You are involved. By being alive, you're involved.
Max: I got my own problems.
Logan: Look... maybe we got screwed out of living in a time when we could hang out for the afternoon in a cafe someplace wearing $2,000 wristwatches, planning our next vacation, but the world got a whole lot meaner all of a sudden. It wasn't supposed to... but it did. So now it's back to the law of the jungle and there are predators and victims.
Max: And you still think you can do something to change that?
Logan: With your help.
Max: Look, one thing I'm not is a chump. You want to get the rest of your ass shot off... be my guest, but I kind of like being able to walk.
Logan: On another matter... federal corrections used to keep records on distinguishing marks... scars, tattoos. I did a search and came up with this. ID-ed as a Michael Hanover. Booked for armed robbery nine years ago. He escaped custody after four hours. Hasn't been seen or heard from since.
Max: Zack...
Max: [voiceover] I knew it. I always knew Zack was out there somewhere, but you know, just my luck this guy Logan had to be the one to find him. Now he figures I'm going to go and do the right thing because I owe him... like I even care.

Nancy: And this one's for John Hartigan, fucker!
[shoots]

Max: Nice haircut.
Logan: Nice gunshot wound.

Sartana: We didn't cross the border; the border crossed us!

Marissa: Tick Tock has escaped! Oh, this is not good.
Wilbur: Actually, this is awesome! Could you imagine the promotion I would get if I landed an interview with this guy the Time Holder?
Marissa: Time Keeper.
Wilbur: Not to mention the hero factor for tracking down an international supervillain! Not too shabby!
Marissa: Honey, I think being a hero isn't really what the kids need from you right now.
Wilbur: It's just what they need now. It's what the world needs!

Max: Are you sure about all this? Pierpont Lemkin and the Taliban after some Star Wars widget in a robotic arm somewhere? Next thing you're gonna tell me aliens are involved.
Logan: Wouldn't rule it out.

[last lines]
Alec: Hey Max, thought I'd find you here.
Max: I come here to be alone.
Alec: Yeh, I know, but considering everything that went down today I figured we could both use a friend right now.
Max: Sit down.
Alec: So, you got any deep thoughts you want to share ? Any profound realisations about life ?
Max: Yeh, life sucks.

Ben: [gets smashed into the wall by a large concrete slab] OK. That one hurt.
Susan: Where's Reed?
Reed: [muffled voice] Back here!
Ben: [Ben steps out from the wall to reveal a flattened Reed] My bad.

[Ben's last moments]
Max: Tell me about the good place.
Ben: Where no one ever gets punished?
Max: And no one gets yelled at.
Ben: And nobody disappears.

Max: Go for Max.
Joshua: Little fella. Little fella, everything's gone sideways. It's-It's FUBAR. There be people screaming. And-And Gem is trying to keep her legs crossed so the baby won't pop out.

[last lines]
Max: Hey.
Alec: Hey Max.
Max: Listen, if you ever want to talk...
Alec: About what ?
Max: About anything.
Alec: Now, why would I want to do that ?
Max: Just consider the offer open.
Alec: Alright. Listen. Thanks for saving my ass.
Max: You're all right ?
Alec: I'm always all right.

[first lines]
Alec: Well, thanks for playing, it's always a pleasure. Who's next ? Anybody ? Sketchy, what do you say buddy ?
Calvin: No, man. I already owe you two paychecks.
Alec: I'll let you break.
Calvin: No, no, no.
Alec: I'll play left handed. You can blindfold me.
Calvin: Hehe, no man.
Alec: No, okay.
Max: Nobody likes a showoff, Alex.
Alec: Max. Fifty bucks and you get to humble your old buddy, Alec. What do you say?

Torrez: You're Machete's girl. I know, 'cause you're his type.
Sartana: What type is that?
Torrez: Dead.

[first lines]
Alec: There you go, boss. One hot run delivered to Fifth and Maple in a timely and courteous fashion. By yours truly.
Reagan: That's my rock star
Max: Are you kidding me ? One package. That's it ? All day ?
Alec: Quality, not quantity, Max.
Cynthia: It's what all men tell themselves. Helps them sleep better at night.

Max: I can't believe you brought him back with you.
Brin: [raises right arm] I didn't bring him back.
Max: [raises left arm] Then why is he back?
Brin: [with opposite hands pressed together in the air] He never left.

Max: Hey, Bruno...
Bruno: Oh. Oh, yes. I should have figured you for a little kinkster.Yeah, I'm game. Two people alone in a room for people just passing through, aren't we? It's me. It's you, looking hotter than you've ever looked. It's like deja freakin' vu, isn't it? Oh, that's not a turn-on! No,no. Ow!

[last lines]
Alec: You know I never really noticed, but, he's actually kind of magnificent.
Max: Yeh, he was.

[last lines]
Max: Hey, Ray. How are you feeling ?
Ray: Okay. Did I pass ? Am I strong ?
Max: You did fine.
Logan: What do you need to be strong for, Ray ?
Ray: For the coming.
Logan: The coming. What's that ?
Ray: Nobody ever told me yet. Except it's bad if you're not one of us.

[last lines]
Max: Can't really be mad at her. I mean, you got your guy.
Logan: And she got hers. Shall we ?
Max: May as well.
[walking away]
Logan: So I hear you're a rocking awesome chick.
Max: And you're a beautiful talented man.
Logan: That's right.

Susan: Guys, we have a problem! He's here!
Reed: Sue, get out of there!
Susan: Why are you trying to destroy us?
The: I have no choice.
Susan: There's always a choice.
The: Not always!

Tanya: [Molly and Tanya are dancing to The Ramone's song "I Wanna Be Sedated' that is being performed by The Offspring] Molly! What's bugging you?
Molly: Just thinkin'.
Tanya: And I know who about!
Molly: Just thought he'd be here by now.
Tanya: He'll be here. I'm gonna go get some punch. You want some?
[Molly nods 'yes']
Tanya: Kay, I'll be right back.

[Torrez is about to behead Machete]
Luz: He's gonna kill him.
Sartana: No he's not. He's Machete.
[Machete stabs Torrez through the stomach]
Luz: Got a point.

Joshua: Joshua sees life go by through window. Life looks back and... screams at Joshua.
Max: I know who you are. I love who you are. That matters.

Logan: You have good taste. French, 1920s, attributed to Chitarus.
Max: Whoever that is.
Logan: Oh. So... what, you liked it 'cause it was shiny?
Max: No, because it's the Egyptian goddess Bast, the goddess who comprehends all goddesses, eye of Ra, protector, avenger, destroyer, giver of life who lives forever.

Reed: [to Sue after she switches powers with Johnny] You're on fire!
Susan: [shrieking] You think?

Logan: You're a thief?
Max: Girl's gotta make a living.
Logan: Thank God.
Max: First time I ever heard that one.

Max: Where are we gonna go? I can't stop anyone from leaving, but I'm through running and hiding and being afraid. I'm not going to live my life like that any more. Aren't you tired of living in darkness? Don't you want to feel the sun on your face? To have a place of your own where you can walk down the street without being afraid. They made us, and they trained us to be soldiers, to defend this country. It's time they face us and take responsibility, instead of trying to sweep us away like garbage. We were made in America and we're not going anywhere. So they call us 'freaks'. Who cares? Today I'm proud to be a freak. And today we're gonna make a stand right here. Who's with me?"

Susan: This isn't how I imagined it.
Alicia: Nothing ever is.
Susan: Alicia, this just doesn't feel right.
Alicia: It's okay. Even super heroes can have wedding-day jitters.
Susan: It's more than that. Is my life always going to be a circus? Can we raise a child in... all this? Face it, we're not exactly normal?
Alicia: Ben and I aren't exactly a normal couple. But that doesn't stop us from being happy. Do you love Reed?
Susan: More than I've ever loved anyone.
Alicia: Then there's your answer.