The Best Jim Quotes

Jim: Well, Krabs, it looks like you got yourself another sucker. The kid is good, but he'll only be great when he finally gets the guts to leave this dump. Good luck, SpongeBob. You're gonna need it.
SpongeBob: The Krusty Krabs isn't a dump.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, she's a dump all right, but she's my dump.

SpongeBob: [kneeling on floor] Please teach me! I want to learn at the feet of the master!
Jim: Now THAT'S the way to grovel. I'll do it!

[flashback: Squidward has long, flowing hair]
Jim: We should open our own place and stop lining old man Krabs's pockets.
Squidward: No thanks. I'm just doing this until my clarinet career takes off.
Jim: What if it never does? Don't you want something to fall back on?
Squidward: Yeah, and maybe my long, luxurious hair will fall off, but I ain't buying a wig yet.
[Squidward's hair falls off]
Jim: Well, while you go wig shopping, I'll go have a talk with old man Krabs.