The Best Keith Splinter Davis Quotes

Hijack: What ya got there in that pack?
Eli: What pack?
Hijacker: He got a gun.
Hijack: Shit, it ain't loaded. Oh, they never are. Ain't that right, old man? Open the pack and tip it out on the road nice and slow.
Eli: Can't do that.
Hijack: Take off the fucking pack. And put it on the ground. Or DIE!
Young Woman Hijacker: Ooooh.
Hijack: [pokes Eli hard] Are you listening to me?
Eli: I am now.
Hijack: Good.
Eli: You listening to me?
Hijack: Yeah.
Eli: Good. Put that hand on me again, you won't get it back.
Hijack: [laughing] Do you believe this fucking guy? All right, you want to do it the hard way.
[the leader grabs at Eli, who pulls a machete and cuts off his hand at the wrist]
Hijack: How'd you do that? He just cut my hand off! What are you standing around for? Kiss him!
Hijacker: What'd he say?
Eli: He's in shock. I think he meant, "Kill him."