The Best Spider-Man Quotes

[Spider-Man shows up at a robbery carried out by men in Avengers masks]
Spider: Wait a minute... You guys aren't the real Avengers! I can tell. Hulk gives it away.

Doc: You think your fancy new suit's gonna save you?
[flings Spider-Man through a truck]
Doc: I should had killed your little girlfriend when I had the chance.
Spider: [Spider-Man opens up his four arms] What did you just say?
Doc: [looks at his own robotic arms] Looks like we've got competition.

[Vulture's wings cut the building pillars surrounding Spider-Man]
Spider: You missed! You didn't even hit me!
Adrian: Yeah, but then again... I wasn't even trying to.

- Aah!
- Whoa! Whoa!
Spider: Whoa, what is that?!
- Betty! Betty!

Tony: All right, I've run out of patience. "Underoos!"
[webbing comes down, grabs Cap's shield and cuffs his hands. Spider-Man lands on a nearby truck holding Cap's shield]
Tony: Nice job, kid!
Spider: Thanks! Well, I could have stuck the landing a little better. It's just, new suit... wait, it's nothing, Mr. Stark. It's... it's perfect, thank you.
Tony: Yeah, we don't really need to start a conversation.
Spider: Okay.
[salutes]
Spider: Cap... Captain? Big fan. Spider-Man.
Tony: Yeah, we'll talk about it later. Just...
Spider: [waves] Hey, everyone.
Tony: Good job.

Spider: [when the two teams start running towards each other] They're not stopping!

Spider: I got you!
Karen: This is your chance. Kiss her.

Spider: [reacting to Ant-Man growing] HOLY SHIT!

Spider: [to Bucky] You have a metal arm? That is AWESOME, dude!

- It's Night... Night Monkey.
- Night Monkey?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Night Monkey!
- Yeah. Night Monkey.
- Night Monkey, help!
- Save us! Night Monkey, we're stuck!
Spider: What?
- Oh, no, no.
- Help us! Help!

Spider: I got it!
- Activate Instant Kill.

Spider: Excuse me, sir! I can help! Let me help! I'm really strong and I'm... sticky!

Spider: [referring to Captain America's shield] That thing doesn't obey the laws of physics at all!

Spider: I got this!
[GRUNTS] I got this.
- Okay, I don't got this.
- Help, somebody help!
- Hey, Queens, heads up!

[mid-credit scene]
Pat: We come to you now with revelations about last week's attack in London. An anonymous source provided this video, it shows Quentin Beck, aka, Mysterio, moments before his death. A warning: You may find this video disturbing.
Mysterio: I managed to send the Elemental back into the dimensional rift but I don't think I'm gonna make it off this bridge alive. Spider-Man attacked me for some reason. He has an army of weaponized drones, Stark technology. He's saying he's the only one who's gonna be the new Iron Man, no one else.
[cut to altered footage of the Tower Bridge battle]
E.D.I.T.H.: Are you sure you want to commence the drone attack? There'll be significant causalities.
Spider: Do it. Execute them all.
Pat: This shocking video was released earlier today on the controversial news website 'thedailybugle.net.'
J. Jonah Jameson: There you have it folks: conclusive proof that Spider-Man was responsible for the brutal murder of Mysterio! An interdimensional warrior who gave his life to protect our planet, and who will no doubt, go down in history as the greatest superhero of all time! But that's not all folks, here's the real blockbuster. Brace yourselves, you might wanna sit down.
Mysterio: Spider-Man's real... Spider-Man's real name is - Spider-Man's name is Peter Parker!
[cut back to a mortified Spider-Man in NYC]
Spider: What the fu - !

Doc: Hello, Peter.
Spider: Hi? Do I know you?

Spider: Listen, let's just focus on the good news, okay?
Doctor: No, let's just focus on the bad news. As of now, you have detected zero multiversal trespassers. So, get on your phones, scour the Internet, and Scooby-Doo this shit.
MJ: [laughs dryly] You're telling us what to do, even though it was your spell that got screwed up. Meaning that all of this is kind of your mess. You know, I know a couple of magic words myself, starting with the word 'please'.
Doctor: Please, Scooby-Doo this shit.

[deleted scene]
Police: You're going to be the next Iron Man now?
Spider: Well, no, I don't have time. I'm too busy doing your job.
Spider: I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Look, you're gonna have to do your job for a couple weeks, okay? Because *I* am going on vacation.

Spider: Hey guys, you ever see that really old movie, Empire Strikes Back?
War: Jesus, Tony, how old is this guy?
Iron: I don't know, I didn't carbon date him. He's on the young side.

Green: [Norman's personality has shifted into the Goblin's] That some neat trick, that sense of yours.
Otto: Norman?
Green: Norman's on sabbatical, honey!
Max: The hell?
Spider: The Goblin...
Green: "No more darker half"? Did you really think that I'd let that happen, that I'd let you take away my power just because you're blind to what true power can bring you?
Spider: You don't know me.
Green: Don't I? I saw how she trapped you, fighting her holy moral mission. We don't need you to save us, we don't need to be fixed! These are not curses, they're gifts.
Otto: Norman, no...
Green: Quiet lapdog!
Spider: You don't know what you're talking about.
Green: I've watched you from deep behind Norman's cowardly eyes, struggling to have everything you want while the world tries to make you choose. Gods don't have to choose. We take.
Spider: May, Run!

[Peter's face is turning pale white, after finding out that Toomes is Liz's father]
Adrian: Hey, you up for some bourbon, some gin, rum?
Spider: I'm not old enough to drink.
Adrian: Right answer.
[winks]

- Yeah!
- That hurt him. Keep it coming.
Mysterio: Spider-Man, keep your distance.
Spider: I'm trying!
Mysterio: Can't let him get near the Ferris wheel.
Spider: Okay. I'm on it!

Spider: [Spider-Man secures Davis's hand to his car with a web] That's going to dissolve in two hours.
Aaron: No. No, no! You're going to fix this!
Spider: Two hours! You deserve that!
Aaron: I've got ice cream!
Spider: You're a criminal! Bye, Mr. Criminal!

Spider: [to his camera in Berlin] No one has actually told me why I'm in Berlin or what I'm doing. Something about Captain America going crazy.

- Peter 3.
- Peter 3.
- Let's do this. Ready?
- Wait, wait, wait!
- I love you guys.
- BOTH: Thank you.
- All right, let's do this.
- Let's go.
Spider: Yes!

Happy: Hey, sorry I'm late.
May: Happy! Hey.
Happy: Oh, you look lovely.
May: Thank you, you too.
Happy: Thank you. New dress?
May: Uh, yeah. Yes, it is. That's a new beard.
Happy: It's my blip beard, because I grew it in a blip. Blip beard.
May: I see.
Spider: What just happened?

Spider: [while fighting Falcon] You have the right to remain silent!

Spider: Yes!
[Laughs] That was awesome!

- Close it.
- Oh, no. No, no, no.
- And that is a lizard, and we should go!
- Run!
- Come on! Come on, this way.
- Quick, quick, quick!
Spider: Connors, stop!

Spider: Wait a minute. Is that an Archimedean spiral? The Mirror Dimension is just geometry? You're great at geometry! You can do geometry!
Spider: Square the radius... divide by pi... at flat points along the curve...
Doctor: It's over, Parker. I'll come pick you up when it's done.
Spider: Hey, Strange! You know what's cooler than magic?
Spider: Math!

Spider: [after taking down the Falcon and webbing him up] Are those carbon fiber wings?
Falcon: Is this stuff coming out of you?

Falcon: [after being trapped by Spider-Man] I don't know if you've been in a fight before, but there's usually not this much talking.
Spider: All right, sorry. My bad.

- Hang on. I got you, kid.
Spider: Hey!
- Nice to meet you...
- Oh, my God!

Captain: You got heart, kid. Where are you from?
Spider: [straining] Queens!
Captain: [chuckles in mild disbelief] Brooklyn!

Street: Hey! You're that spider guy from TV!
Spider: Call me Spider-Man.
Street: Ok, Spider-Man. Do a flip.
[Spider-Man does a flip]
Street: YEAH!

Ned: Peter, are you okay?
Spider: Yeah. Just keep trying to get through to Happy.
Ned: It's been an honor, Spider-Man.
[library lights turn on]
Ms. Warren: What are you doing here? There's a dance.
Ned: Uh...
[quickly shuts his laptop]
Ned: [awkwardly] I'm... looking... at porn.