Top 100 Quotes From Tom Holland

Peter: No, Spider-Man isn't a party trick! I'm just gonna be myself.
Ned: Peter, nobody wants that!

Otto: You're flying out into the darkness to fight ghosts.
Peter: What do you mean?
Doctor: They all die fighting Spider-Man. It's their fate. I'm sorry, kid.
Peter: Yeah, me too.

Peter: So you, like, make your own web fluid in your body.
Peter: I'd rather not talk about this.
Peter: No! I don't mean to...
Peter: Are you teasing me?
Peter: No, no, no! He's not teasing you. It's just that... we can't do that, so naturally we're curious as to how your web situation works. That's all.
Peter: If it's personal, I don't wanna, like, pry, but I just think it's cool.
Peter: I wish I could tell you, but it's like, I don't do it. Like, I don't do breathing. Like, breathing just happens.
Peter: Whoa.
Peter: Like, does it just come out of your wrists or... does it come out of anywhere else?
Peter: Only... only the wrists.
Peter: You ever have a web block? Cuz I run out of webs all the time. I have to make my own in a lab, and it's hassle compared to what you got.
Peter: Right, yeah. That sound's like a hassle, yeah. But I did, actually. You said that, I was like, "Oh, I had a web block."
Peter: Whoa... why?
Peter: Existential crisis stuff.
Peter: Yeah, I mean, don't even get me started on that.

Nathan: Nuns. Why is it always nuns?

Spider: [after taking down the Falcon and webbing him up] Are those carbon fiber wings?
Falcon: Is this stuff coming out of you?

Spider: [while fighting Falcon] You have the right to remain silent!

Ned: Peter, are you okay?
Spider: Yeah. Just keep trying to get through to Happy.
Ned: It's been an honor, Spider-Man.
[library lights turn on]
Ms. Warren: What are you doing here? There's a dance.
Ned: Uh...
[quickly shuts his laptop]
Ned: [awkwardly] I'm... looking... at porn.

Nathan: Hey, look. You could stay up here and get shot in the head or come down here for a quick cuddle. Up to you. I'm goin' down.

Mysterio: Fury asked me to check you were OK.
Peter: That was nice.
Mysterio: You do have sarcasm on this world, don't you?

Nick: How's the suit?
Peter: It's a little tight around the ol' web-shooter.

- Peter 3.
- Peter 3.
- Let's do this. Ready?
- Wait, wait, wait!
- I love you guys.
- BOTH: Thank you.
- All right, let's do this.
- Let's go.
Spider: Yes!

[after finding out they went back to New Mushroomton near the end of their journey to get the Phoenix Gem]
Ian: Oh, no.
Barley: What?
Ian: The gem is in the mountain. The mountain we could have been to hours ago, if we'd just... stayed on the expressway.
Barley: No, the expressway is too obvious! You can never take the obvious...
Ian: If I hadn't listened to you! OKAY? I can't believe this... You act like you know what you're doing, but you don't have a clue! And that's because you are a screwup... And now you've screwed up my chance to have the ONE thing I never had!
[Barley was shocked; Ian turns and starts walking off with their dad Wilden]
Barley: [saddened] Where are you going?
Ian: [gives Barley the staff] To spend what little time we have left with Dad.
Barley: Ian, wait! We can still find the Phoenix Gem! We just have to keep looking! Ian! IAN!

MJ: You know, Susan Yang thinks you're a male escort.
Peter: What? No! Of course I'm not a male escort.
MJ: Well then you're Spider-Man.

[first lines]
Nathan: Oh, crap!

Peter: You can't trick me anymore.

Adrian: Peter, you're young. You don't understand how the world works.
Peter: Yeah, but I understand that selling weapons to criminals is wrong!
Adrian: How do you think your buddy Stark paid for that tower, or any of his little toys? Those people, Pete, those people up there, the rich and the powerful, they do whatever they want. Guys like us, like you and me... they don't care about us. We build their roads and we fight all their wars and everything. They don't care about us. We have to pick up after them. We have to eat their table scraps. That's how it is. I know you know what I'm talking about, Peter.
Peter: Why are you telling me this?
Adrian: 'Cause I want you to understand. And... I needed a little time to get her airborne.
[Summons Vulture harness]

Street: Hey! You're that spider guy from TV!
Spider: Call me Spider-Man.
Street: Ok, Spider-Man. Do a flip.
[Spider-Man does a flip]
Street: YEAH!

- It's Night... Night Monkey.
- Night Monkey?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Night Monkey!
- Yeah. Night Monkey.
- Night Monkey, help!
- Save us! Night Monkey, we're stuck!
Spider: What?
- Oh, no, no.
- Help us! Help!

Tony: Got a passport?
Peter: [chuckling] Um, no. I don't... I don't even have a driver's license.
Tony: You ever been to Germany?
Peter: No.
Tony: Oh, you'll love it.
Peter: I can't go to Germany!
Tony: Why?
Peter: I got... homework.
Tony: Alright, I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that.

Spider: Wait a minute. Is that an Archimedean spiral? The Mirror Dimension is just geometry? You're great at geometry! You can do geometry!
Spider: Square the radius... divide by pi... at flat points along the curve...
Doctor: It's over, Parker. I'll come pick you up when it's done.
Spider: Hey, Strange! You know what's cooler than magic?
Spider: Math!

Spider: [reacting to Ant-Man growing] HOLY SHIT!

Spider: [to Bucky] You have a metal arm? That is AWESOME, dude!

Old: Some of those stars have been burnt out for a long, long time. They're dead, but once they were so bright that their light is still travelling through space. We can still see them.
Lucas: How can you tell which one is dead and which one is not?
Old: No, you can't, it's impossible. It's a beautiful mystery, isn't it?

Ian: [as they're being chased by Officer Bronco] I can't run from the cops!
Barley: You're not, you're running from your mom's lame new boyfriend.
[More cop cars appear]
Barley: Okay, now we're running from the cops.

Spider: Hey guys, you ever see that really old movie, Empire Strikes Back?
War: Jesus, Tony, how old is this guy?
Iron: I don't know, I didn't carbon date him. He's on the young side.

Peter: [catches Mantis] I got you!
[catches Drax]
Peter: I got you! Sorry, I can't remember anybody's names.

Spider: I got this!
[GRUNTS] I got this.
- Okay, I don't got this.
- Help, somebody help!
- Hey, Queens, heads up!

Maria: You're so bossy.
Lucas: I wonder who I take after.

Matt: You may have dodged your legal troubles but things will get much worse. There's still the court of public opinion.
[Matt catches a brick thrown through the window]
Peter: How did you just do that?
Matt: I'm a really good lawyer.

Spider: I got it!
- Activate Instant Kill.

Green: [Norman's personality has shifted into the Goblin's] That some neat trick, that sense of yours.
Otto: Norman?
Green: Norman's on sabbatical, honey!
Max: The hell?
Spider: The Goblin...
Green: "No more darker half"? Did you really think that I'd let that happen, that I'd let you take away my power just because you're blind to what true power can bring you?
Spider: You don't know me.
Green: Don't I? I saw how she trapped you, fighting her holy moral mission. We don't need you to save us, we don't need to be fixed! These are not curses, they're gifts.
Otto: Norman, no...
Green: Quiet lapdog!
Spider: You don't know what you're talking about.
Green: I've watched you from deep behind Norman's cowardly eyes, struggling to have everything you want while the world tries to make you choose. Gods don't have to choose. We take.
Spider: May, Run!

Spider: [Spider-Man secures Davis's hand to his car with a web] That's going to dissolve in two hours.
Aaron: No. No, no! You're going to fix this!
Spider: Two hours! You deserve that!
Aaron: I've got ice cream!
Spider: You're a criminal! Bye, Mr. Criminal!

Peter: I've gotta go.
Michelle: Where are you going?
[Peter stares at her]
Michelle: What are you hiding, Peter?
[Peter still stares at her, at a loss for words]
Michelle: [laughs] I'm just kidding. I don't care. Bye.

[WEAKLY] May, run, please.
Peter: May!
- Peter, Peter, Peter.
- No good deed goes unpunished.
- You can thank me later.
- No!

Peter: Wait, who are you?
Peter: We're the Avengers, man.
Mantis: You're the ones Thor told us about.
Tony: You know Thor?
Peter: Yeah, tall guy, not that good-looking, needed saving.

Peter: It is I, Thor, son of Odin!

Nathan: [to Chloe] So, uh, when did you decide to become Indiana Jones?

Adrian: [Turns a gun to Peter] Does she know?
Peter: Know what?
Adrian: So she doesn't, good. Close to the vest, I admire that. I've got a few secrets of my own. Of all the reasons I didn't want my daughter to date! Peter, nothing is more important than family. You saved my daughter's life, and I could never forget something like that, so I'll give you one chance. You ready? You walk through those doors, and you forget any of this happened. And don't you ever, ever interfere with my business again, because if you do, I'll kill you, and everyone that you love. I'll kill you dead. That's what I'll do to protect my family. Pete, you understand? Hey. I just saved your life. Now, what do you say?
Peter: [Awkwardly] Thank you.
Adrian: You're welcome. Now, you go in there, and you show my daughter a good time, okay? Just not too good.

Peter: Hey... what are like, some of the craziest villains that you guys have fought?
Peter: Seems you've met some of them.
Peter: [chuckles nervously] That's a good question.
Peter: I fought a... an alien made out of black goo once.
Peter: No way! I fought an alien, too. On Earth and in space.
Peter: Oh?
Peter: Yeah, he was purple.
Peter: I wanna fight an alien!
Peter: [to Peter 1] I'm, I'm still like... that you fought an alien, in space.
Peter: [sighs] I'm lame compared to... like, I fought a Russian guy in a... like a rhinoceros machine.
Peter: Hey, can we rewind it back to the "I'm lame" part? 'Cause, you are not.
Peter: Aw, thanks. No, yeah. I appreciate it, I'm not saying I'm lame.
Peter: But it's just the self-talk maybe we should, you know... 'cause you're... you're amazing. Just to take it in for a minute.
Peter: Yeah yeah yeah.
Peter: You... you are amazing.
Peter: I guess I am.
Peter: You are amazing.
Peter: Thank you.
Peter: Will you say it?
Peter: No, I kinda needed to hear that. Thank you.

Lucas: [Trembling and distraught, after he and Maria have managed to take refuge on a tree in the rushing wave] I thought I was a brave kid, Mum...! I'm scared!
[sobbing]
Maria: [Equally shaken, moves closer to embrace Lucas] Shhh...!
[whispers into his ear]
Maria: I'm scared, too...!
Lucas: [Anxious] Is it over...?
[Maria is looking around]
Lucas: Is it over...?
Maria: [Looks around nervously as the wave recedes] I don't know...! I don't know...!

Mr. Harrington: Just making rounds, seeing if anyone needs any emotional counseling after today's traumatic events.
Peter: No we're okay. We're- we're fine. Thank you.
Mr. Harrington: Great. 'Cause, I'm not- I'm not qualified.

[mid-credit scene]
Pat: We come to you now with revelations about last week's attack in London. An anonymous source provided this video, it shows Quentin Beck, aka, Mysterio, moments before his death. A warning: You may find this video disturbing.
Mysterio: I managed to send the Elemental back into the dimensional rift but I don't think I'm gonna make it off this bridge alive. Spider-Man attacked me for some reason. He has an army of weaponized drones, Stark technology. He's saying he's the only one who's gonna be the new Iron Man, no one else.
[cut to altered footage of the Tower Bridge battle]
E.D.I.T.H.: Are you sure you want to commence the drone attack? There'll be significant causalities.
Spider: Do it. Execute them all.
Pat: This shocking video was released earlier today on the controversial news website 'thedailybugle.net.'
J. Jonah Jameson: There you have it folks: conclusive proof that Spider-Man was responsible for the brutal murder of Mysterio! An interdimensional warrior who gave his life to protect our planet, and who will no doubt, go down in history as the greatest superhero of all time! But that's not all folks, here's the real blockbuster. Brace yourselves, you might wanna sit down.
Mysterio: Spider-Man's real... Spider-Man's real name is - Spider-Man's name is Peter Parker!
[cut back to a mortified Spider-Man in NYC]
Spider: What the fu - !

Green: Poor Peter... too weak to send me home to die.
Peter: No. I just wanna kill you myself.
Green: Attaboy!

Nick: And this is Mr. Beck.
Peter: Mysterio?
Quentin: What?
Peter: Doesn't matter. It's what my friends have been calling you.
Quentin: Well, you can call me Quentin. You handled yourself well out there today. I saw that you did with the tower. We could use someone like you on my world.
Peter: Thanks. I'm sorry. Your world?
Nick: Mr. Beck is from Earth. Just not yours.
Quentin: There are multiple realities. This is Earth Dimension 616. I'm from Earth 833.
Peter: [excitedly] I'm sorry, you're saying there's a multiverse? 'Cause I thought that was theoretical. That changes how we understand the initial singularity. We're talking about an eternal inflation system. How does that even work with the quantum...? It's insane.
[Fury and Hill look strangely at Peter]
Peter: [embarrassed] Sorry.
Quentin: [humorously] Don't ever apologize for being the smartest one in the room.

Tony: [to the Guardians] We gotta coalesce. Because if all we come out is with a plucky attitude
Peter: Dude, don't call us plucky. We don't know what it means. We're more optimistic, yes. I like your plan. Except, it sucks. So let me do the plan and that way it might be really good.
Drax: Tell him about the dance-off to save the Universe.
Tony: What dance-off?
Peter: It's not a thing.
Peter: Like in Footloose, the movie?
Peter: Exactly like Footloose. Is it still the greatest movie in history?
Peter: It never was.
Tony: Don't encourage this, all right? We're getting no help from Flash Gordon here.
Peter: Flash Gordon? That's a compliment. Don't forget, I'm half human. So that 50% of me that's stupid that's 100% you.

Peter: I think Nick Fury just hijacked our summer vacation.
Ned: Awesome.

Flint: Peter, it's me. Flint Marko. Do you remember?
Peter: I'm Peter but I'm not your Peter.
Flint: What do you mean you're not my Peter? What the hell's going on?
Peter: I'll explain everything but first can you help me stop this guy?
Flint: Okay.
Peter: You try and surround him and I'll pull the plug, alright let's go!

[Peter's face is turning pale white, after finding out that Toomes is Liz's father]
Adrian: Hey, you up for some bourbon, some gin, rum?
Spider: I'm not old enough to drink.
Adrian: Right answer.
[winks]

Tony: So, you're the Spiderling. Crime-fighting Spider. You're Spider-Boy?
Peter: S-Spider-Man.
Tony: Not in that onesie, you're not.
Peter: It's not a onesie.

MJ: Oh, here's a good one.
[reading from a magazine]
MJ: Some suggest that Parker's powers include the male spider's ability to hypnotize females.
Peter: Stop, come on.
MJ: Yes, my spider lord.

Peter: I'm sorry, what was your name again?
Otto: Dr. Otto Octavius.
Peter: [him, MJ and Ned laugh] Wait. No, seriously, what's your actual name?

Peter: [in a car with Tony] So, to become an Avenger, is there like trials or an interview?
Tony: Just don't do anything I *would* do.
[Peter nods]
Tony: And definitely don't do anything I wouldn't do.
[Peter looks confused]
Tony: There's a little gray area in there and that's where you operate.
Peter: Oh...
Tony: Alright?
[Tony reaches across Peter with his arm. Peter wraps his arms around him]
Tony: That's not a hug, I'm just grabbing the door for you.
[opens Peter's door]
Tony: All right, kid. Good luck out there.

[after Thanos and his army has been defeated. Peter Parker comes to Tony Stark]
Peter: Mr. Stark. Hey, Mr. Stark?
[choking up]
Peter: Can you hear me? It's Peter. Hey... we won. Mr. Stark. We won, Mr. Stark. We won, you did it, sir, you did it.
[starts crying]
Peter: I'm sorry, Tony.

Peter: [after Strange uses a dimensional gateway to confront Peter Parker] Strange, wait! We're so close!
Doctor: [furious] Zip it! I've been dangling over the Grand Canyon for twelve hours!
Peter: I know, I know, I'm sorry about that, sir.
Peter: You went to the Grand Canyon?
Peter: [referring to Peter 1] He could have used your help!
[Strange is completely baffled by the appearance of the other Parkers]
Peter: No no, it's OK. These are my friends. This is Peter Parker and this is Peter Parker. He's Spiderman, he's Spiderman. They're mes from other universes. This is the wizard I was telling you about.

Peter: I don't feel so good Mr. Stark.
[Looking at his hands]
Tony: You're alright.
[Eye widening]
Peter: I don't want to go, please, I don't want to go Mr. Stark. I am sorry, tony, I am sorry.

Peter: So, to become an Avenger, are there like trials, or an interview.

- Hang on. I got you, kid.
Spider: Hey!
- Nice to meet you...
- Oh, my God!

[deleted scene]
Police: You're going to be the next Iron Man now?
Spider: Well, no, I don't have time. I'm too busy doing your job.
Spider: I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Look, you're gonna have to do your job for a couple weeks, okay? Because *I* am going on vacation.

- Yeah!
- That hurt him. Keep it coming.
Mysterio: Spider-Man, keep your distance.
Spider: I'm trying!
Mysterio: Can't let him get near the Ferris wheel.
Spider: Okay. I'm on it!

[during a particularly tense moment in the battle, all three Peters regroup]
Peter: I love you guys!
Peter: [beat] Thank you.

Peter: Excuse me, sir!
- I... I can help. Let me help.
- I'm really strong, and I'm sticky.
- I need to lead it away from the canals.

Spider: Yes!
[Laughs] That was awesome!

Ned: [to Peter] Can you summon an army of spiders?
Peter: No, man!

Nathan: [on the ship] Can't put a price on that.
Victor: Yes you can, four or five billion dollars.
Nathan: [as the boat starts to sink] Not to worry, we can get a diving crew...
Victor: [cuts him off] No we can't, it's now property of the Philippines goverment.

Jack: I understand that it's dangerous, but you've said so yourself, with everything that's happened in Europe, it's not possible to choose a safe passage through life. So many men near my own age did not return from the war, and... And who is to say it will not happen again? It could, mother. It could happen again.
Nina: By all accounts, I should be furious because you've just... You've just used my very own words against me. And how can I refute them? They are my own.

Peter: MJ, I...
MJ: ...am Spider-Man?
Peter: No. Of course not!
MJ: I mean it's... kind of obvious.

Peter: [on a school bus] Hey, I need you to cause a distraction.
Ned: [sees the spaceship] Holy shit. WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

Spider: [referring to Captain America's shield] That thing doesn't obey the laws of physics at all!

Peter: How could you do all of this?
Quentin: You'll see, Peter. People... need to believe. And nowadays, they'll believe anything.

Peter: Happy, is that you?
Happy: Is it me? Yeah, of course it's me!
Peter: Stop! Tell me something only you would know!
Happy: Only I would know... Uh... Remember when we went to Germany? You pay-per-viewed a video in your room? They didn't list the titles but I could tell by the price that it was an adult film at the front desk, and you didn't know how I knew...
Peter: Ok ok! Stop!

Peter: Peter Parker here to pick up a passport please!

Ian: I didn't call you a screw up.
Barley: You didn't have to. The magic said it for you.

Falcon: [after being trapped by Spider-Man] I don't know if you've been in a fight before, but there's usually not this much talking.
Spider: All right, sorry. My bad.

Happy: Hey, sorry I'm late.
May: Happy! Hey.
Happy: Oh, you look lovely.
May: Thank you, you too.
Happy: Thank you. New dress?
May: Uh, yeah. Yes, it is. That's a new beard.
Happy: It's my blip beard, because I grew it in a blip. Blip beard.
May: I see.
Spider: What just happened?

Peter: I'm sick of Mr. Stark treating me like a kid.
Ned: But you are a kid.
Peter: Yeah. A kid who can stop a bus with his bare hands.

Peter: Go to the Eiffel Tower. Should be great.
MJ: Yeah, I read it was secretly built as a mind control antenna to create an army of the insane.

Peter: Just a typical homecoming, on the outside of an invisible jet, fighting my girlfriends dad.

Peter: Wow, they're in the middle of a heist! I could catch them all red-handed, this is awesome! Okay, I'm gonna get a little closer so I can see what's happening.
Karen: Would you like me to engage Enhanced Combat Mode?
Peter: Enhanced Combat Mode? Yeah!
Karen: Activating Instant-Kill.
Peter: What? No, no, no, I don't wanna kill anybody!
Karen: Deactivating Instant-Kill.
[Peter jumps out of his position and tries to swing, only to plummet face-first into the ground]
Peter: What the hell just happened?
Karen: You jumped off a sign and landed on your face.

Peter: Hey! Holy cow! You will not believe what's been going on. Do you remember when we were in space? And I got all dusty? And I must've passed out because I woke up and you were gone. But Doctor Strange was there right. And he said 'It's been five years. Come on, they need us.' And he started doing the yellow sparkly thing that he does. Anyway...
[Tony hugs Peter in relief]
Peter: This is nice.

- These, no.
- Sorry. Sorry.
- I'm here. Mr. Harrington.
- HARRINGTON: Wait, wait, wait.
Peter: I'm here, I'm here.
- HARRINGTON: Oh, thank goodness.

[Spider-Man shows up at a robbery carried out by men in Avengers masks]
Spider: Wait a minute... You guys aren't the real Avengers! I can tell. Hulk gives it away.

Tony: Previously on "Peter Screws the Pooch", I tell you to stay away from this. Instead, you hacked a multi-million dollar suit so you could sneak around behind my back doing the *one thing* I told you not to do.
Peter: Is everyone okay?
Tony: No thanks to you.
Peter: No thanks to me? Those weapons were out there and I tried to tell you about it, but you didn't listen. None of this would've happened if you had just listened to me! If you even cared, you'd actually be here.
[Tony Stark steps out of the suit to reveal that he *is* in fact there]
Tony: I did listen, kid. Who do you think called the FBI, huh? Do you know that I was the only one who believed in you? Everyone else said I was *crazy* to recruit a 14-year-old kid.
Peter: I'm 15.
Tony: No, this is where you ZIP IT, alright? The adult is talking! What if somebody had died tonight? Different story, right? 'Cause that's on *you*. And if you died, I feel like that's on me. I don't need that on my conscience.
Peter: Yes, sir, I...
Tony: Yes.
Peter: I'm sorry. In sorry.
Tony: "Sorry" doesn't cut it.
Peter: I understand. I just wanted to be like you.
Tony: And I wanted you to be better. Okay, it's not working out. I'm gonna need the suit back.
Peter: For how long?
Tony: Forever.
Peter: [on the verge of tears] No! No, no, no! Please, please, please!
Tony: Let's have it.
Peter: You don't understand! This is all I have! I'm nothing without this suit!
Tony: If you're nothing without this suit, then you shouldn't have it, okay? God, I sound like my dad.
Peter: I don't have any other clothes.
Tony: Okay, we'll sort that out.

Barley: [Shrunk, in Ian's shirt pocket] I have to use the restroom.
Ian: Can't it wait?
Barley: All right, your pocket.

The: [with strong Scottish accent] You shouldnae have come out to play with the big boys, wean, cos you're about to get a proper Scottish welcome!
Nathan: I'm sorry?

Peter: Uh, I have like a sixth sense.
Happy: The Peter-Tingle!

Tony: All right, I've run out of patience. "Underoos!"
[webbing comes down, grabs Cap's shield and cuffs his hands. Spider-Man lands on a nearby truck holding Cap's shield]
Tony: Nice job, kid!
Spider: Thanks! Well, I could have stuck the landing a little better. It's just, new suit... wait, it's nothing, Mr. Stark. It's... it's perfect, thank you.
Tony: Yeah, we don't really need to start a conversation.
Spider: Okay.
[salutes]
Spider: Cap... Captain? Big fan. Spider-Man.
Tony: Yeah, we'll talk about it later. Just...
Spider: [waves] Hey, everyone.
Tony: Good job.

Happy: You handle the suit. I'll handle the music.
['Back in Black' by AC/DC plays]
Peter: Oh, I love Led Zeppelin!

Dr. Stephen Strange: We gotta turn this ship around.
Tony: Yeah, now he wants to run. Great plan.
Dr. Stephen Strange: No, I want to protect the stone.
Tony: And I want you to thank me. Now, go ahead. I'm listening.
Dr. Stephen Strange: For what? Nearly blasting me into space?
Tony: Who just saved your magical ass? Me.
Dr. Stephen Strange: I seriously don't know how you fit your head into that helmet.
Tony: Admit it, you should've ducked out when I told you to. I tried to bench you. You refused.
Dr. Stephen Strange: Unlike everyone else in your life, I don't work for you.
Tony: And due to that fact, we're now in a flying doughnut billions of miles from Earth with no backup.
Peter: I'm backup.
Tony: No, you're a stowaway. The adults are talking.
Dr. Stephen Strange: I'm sorry, I'm confused as to the relationship here. What is he, your ward?
Peter: No. I'm Peter, by the way.
Dr. Stephen Strange: Doctor Strange.
Peter: Oh, you're using made-up names. Um... I'm Spider-Man, then.

Hotel: [on seeing Nate and Chloe coming out of the ocean] Whoa! What the hell happened to you two?
Nathan: [exasperated] Fell out of a car that fell out of a plane.
Hotel: [bluntly] Huh. You know something like that happened to me once.

Peter: What's your password?
Happy: Password.
Peter: No, what is your password?
Happy: Password. The word spelled out.
Peter: You're head of security and your password is "password"?
Happy: I don't feel good about it either.

Peter: Let me just say, if aliens wind up implanting eggs in my chest or something and I eat one of you, I'm sorry.
Tony: I don't want another single pop culture reference out of you for the rest of the trip. You understand?

Peter: Get out of here. Go!
- Oh, my God.
- Come on.
- Oh, no, you don't.
- You okay? Get out of here. Go!

Happy: Heads-up. Nick Fury's calling you.
[Peter notices his phone ringing]
Peter: I don't really wanna talk to Nick Fury.
Happy: Answer the phone.
Peter: Why?
Happy: Because if you don't talk to him, I have to talk to him. I don't want to talk to him.
[Peter declines Fury's call]
Happy: You sent Nick Fury to voicemail?
Peter: I gotta go.
Happy: You do not ghost Nick Fury!

- Close it.
- Oh, no. No, no, no.
- And that is a lizard, and we should go!
- Run!
- Come on! Come on, this way.
- Quick, quick, quick!
Spider: Connors, stop!

Peter: I don't know how to work as a team.
Peter: Me either.
Peter: Well, I do. I have been in a team, okay? I don't wanna brag, but I will. I was in the Avengers.
Peter: The Avengers?
Peter: Yeah.
Peter: That's great!
Peter: Thank you!
Peter: What is that?
Peter: Wait, you don't have the Avengers?
Peter: Is that a band? Are you in a band?
Peter: No, not a band! Avengers is, uh... Earth's Mightiest...
Peter: HOW'S THIS HELPING?

- Aah!
- Whoa! Whoa!
Spider: Whoa, what is that?!
- Betty! Betty!

Otto: [unmasks MCU Spider-Man] You're not Peter Parker.
Peter: I am so confused right now!

Thomas: My mother's buried up in Smith's hill. There's a stone for my father, too. He was lost at sea before I was born.
Owen: Here, give me that.
[grabs a coil of rope]
Owen: Well, this is your family now, boy. For better or for worse. worse, mostly.

[Peter arrives at the Sanctum Sanctorum]
Doctor: So, Peter... to what do I owe the pleasure?
Peter: I'm sorry to bother you, sir.
Doctor: Please. We've saved half the universe together. I think we're beyond you calling me "sir".
[conjures flames in a fireplace]
Peter: Okay. Stephen...
Doctor: [beat] That feels weird, but I'll allow it.

Captain: You got heart, kid. Where are you from?
Spider: [straining] Queens!
Captain: [chuckles in mild disbelief] Brooklyn!