The Best Lucifer, Season 3, Episode 19 Quotes

Chloe: She could get life in prison.
Lucifer: That's a mere time-out in her lifespan.

Zack: The other day, someone came looking for him.
Lucifer: Ah, was it a... a hot woman, perhaps? Angry? Leather? Lots of knives?
Chloe: Or someone completely different? Like a dude? Like a fat, happy dude?

Lucifer: You clearly need to blow off some steam, don't you? Take your mind off Ameninda? No. Lindadiel?

- We've broken her.
- Charlotte.
- Are you okay?
- It's... it's real.
- Then that means I'm...
- I'm not crazy. [Laughs]

Mazikeen: I'm always going to be the consolation prize for you. You only care about me when you don't have Chloe.
Lucifer: Maze, now hold on, that's...
Mazikeen: [Crying] NO! No one puts me first, least of all you! None of you deserve me.

Mazikeen: This way, I'll end up in women's prison. I heard it's hell on Earth, so close enough.

- Which I am so okay with.
- It doesn't fill me with mistrust at all.
- But duty calls, detective.
- Can't have maze taking justice into her own hands now, can we?
- -Mm-mm.
- Okay.

Lucifer: If your prints are on that can, that means someone must've broke into your house and stolen it from your wheelie bins.
Chloe: What?
Lucifer: Your trash.

Ned: Ms. Lopez! I've heard so much about you. Only been here a couple weeks, and everyone says you're just an absolute ray of sunshine.
Mazikeen: [Flatly] Yeah, that's me. Rainbows, science, God.

Charlotte: He said I was his stepmom. But he's a grown man. I mean, his father would have to be ancient.
Linda: [laughs awkwardly] Right!
Charlotte: I mean, as if I would go running around marrying old men and then forgetting all about it.
[pause]
Charlotte: Would I?

- Listen, guys, if maze did this, would any of you really be shocked?
- Yeah.
- I would.
- No, not at all.
- There's no way.
- Maze: Let me settle it for you.
- I did it.

Chloe: [Watching a video of Maze apparently stabbing a guy] You told her to blow off some steam?
Lucifer: Well, I was really hoping she'd choose Catalina.

Mazikeen: I forgot my knife. Must have left it here somewhere.
Lucifer: Oh, no, not one of your Hell-forged blades... that is a loss.
Mazikeen: Not a blade. A knife. Forged in... I don't know, China.

Charlotte: I was hoping that you could help clear things up with one simple question. What's my husband's name?
Amenadiel: Um... God... Frey. Godfrey.

- and... we're good friends.
- And I... you know,
- I don't want to lose that.
- It wasn't a fair ask.
- No. It's-it's...
- It's also unfair of me to ask you to deal with this, you know?

- Last chance to change your mind, brother.
- Going once, going twice...
- Fair enough.
- You, um, you may want to sit down again.
- Nah. At this point, things can't get any crazier.
[Chuckles] You'd think.

- someone's framing maze.
- Someone's framing maze.
- You guys,
- I'm really worried about her.
- She's hurting.
- When I hugged herjust now, she hugged me back.
- She...
- She hugged you?

Ella: Barry here died from a sniper hit.
Lucifer: Ah, it's definitely not Maze's style. She prefers her violence up close and personal, believe me.

Lucifer: [Finding Pierce at Chloe's house] I just didn't expect to see you here. On a weekend. Wearing open-toe, non-work-related Birkis.

Chloe: Let's not jump to conclusions. It's not like the video shows her actually stabbing our Vic.
Lucifer: No. Merely plucking her knife out of his chest.

- Sure, why not?
- Sebastian's a Saint.
- You're the perfect mom.
- And I'm just the big, bad, evil demon.
- And what would someone truly evil do to the one who framed her?

Lucifer: Aha! Her favorite beverage. Well, surely this is evidence that Maze is guilty. And well hydrated.

Mazikeen: Even if I'm guilty?
Ella: Well, I don't think that you are. Even though there isn't one shred of evidence that exonerates you. Like, nothing. I mean, honestly, I've never even seen someone look more guilty...

Chloe: Drop the knife. This isn't you.
Mazikeen: Isn't it, though? I destroy things, Chloe. It's what I do. Friendships, relationships, apartment walls. And, apparently, I killed this lady's son.
Chloe: Maze, I know you didn't kill Mike Biltz, and you didn't kill Barry. And her son isn't your fault, either. We're all responsible for our own choices. And right now, you have to make one.

- Let me help you.
- Help?
- You're the reason he won't take me home.
- What?
- You want a knife, Chloe?
- Maze!

Lucifer: Well, we can't punish the innocent. Or even the usually guilty but innocent this one time. It's the principle of the matter.

Ned: Pleasure to really meet you. That other Ella was mean.
Ella: I can't believe Maze used me. She ruined hugging.

- You want to take me home?
- I'll take you anywhere.
- It's okay. You don't have to ride with me.
- I know. I want to.

- N“ n”
- Oh, no.
- That isn't...
- You told her to blow off some steam?
- Well, I was really hoping she'd choose Catalina.
- N“ n”

Mazikeen: So now this is my fault?
[Storms out]
Lucifer: Demons. Am I right?
Chloe: Lucifer, name-calling isn't gonna help.

Linda: What kind of guy?
Charlotte: A tall, serious black man. Bald.
Linda: Bald, like, in a... in a very sexy way?
Charlotte: Yes. You know him?
Linda: [Covering] Uh, no. No. Just, um, painting a picture.

Lucifer: We need to bust Maze out. Let's smuggle her something she can use to escape.
[Looks around, grabs a stabler and a sandwich]

Dan: if Maze did this, would any of you really be shocked?
[They all speak at the same time]
Chloe: Yeah.
Lucifer: No, not at all.
Ella: I would. There's no way.

Charlotte: He said Lucifer was his brother. Which I guess is possible if one of them were adopted. And raised with a different accent.

- Found you.
- Lady, you framed the wrong demon.

Lucifer: Sorry. Hate to interrupt the canoodling. Which I am so okay with. It doesn't fill me with mistrust at all. But duty calls, Detective.

Mazikeen: It's all so complicated here, Lucifer. I mean, caring about humans always goes wrong. Feelings suck. I am not the one who's supposed to be tortured.

Ella: Ugh. I hate beach murders. So mean. Just let people swim.

- You really think that they framed maze and killed those two people?
- Yes.
- And I bet maze knows why.
- Thank you.
- Right. Looks like we'll have to stop her from actually killing someone this time. Thank you.
- J'j'j'j'

- And that's insane!
[Chuckles]: I mean, you can't actually be an angel and Lucifer can't actually be the devil.
- Because if I believed that, then...
- Then it would mean that I'm insane.

Lucifer: I'm surprised that you'd date someone so on in years.
Chloe: Huh? What are you talking about?
Lucifer: Oh, believe me, Pierce is, uh, well, he's much older than he looks. And we all know that dating older men has its downsides: performance, stamina, you know, the important bits.

Mazikeen: How 'bout a hug instead?
Ned: A Lopez hug?
Mazikeen: Mm-hmm.
Ned: Oh, I've heard about those, too. Must-must be my lucky day.
[Maze tightly wraps her arms around him]
Ned: Uh... Oh!
[Maze shifts into a choke-hold]
Ned: Oh, okay. Um, getting kind of dizzy here.
[Ned passes out]

Mazikeen: No biggie.
Lucifer: Wrong. Big biggie. Huge biggie.