The Best Ranjit Quotes

Barney: Ranjit! Dude, you're driving a limo now. That's awesome.
Ranjit: I've moved up in the world.

- but I thought you deserved to know... in case you wanted to do something about it.
- Do you?
Ranjit: Do you, Robin?
- Ranjit, a little privacy, please?
- Sorry, not listening.

[repeated line]
Ranjit: Hello!

Ted: [to Robin about Barney's marriage proposal] So, what do you wanna do?
Ranjit: [rolling down the divider] Robin, I do not want to meddle, but this is like the classic love song says...
[Ranjit starts singing loudly and off key in a foreign language]
Ted: Ranjit! Ranjit, let's just communicate via text from now on, okay?

Barney: Ted, come on. We have an hour and a half before midnight I don't want to be kissing Ranjit.
Ranjit: You don't know what you're missing.

Marshall: Well, it's official. I'm going to be Judge Marshall Eriksen.
Ranjit: That is great. Can you help me get a driver's license?

Barney: Get rid of it!
Marshall: What?
Barney: This phone is cursed! It just never stops ringing! I try to ignore it, but I can't! I'ts ruining my life! I should get that.
[Marshall takes the phone]
Barney: No, let me answer it! It could be an emergency! She might be trapped inside a giant bra!
Ranjit: Barney, let it go... to voice mail.

Marshall: [Regarding Lily] Why did she get into the captain's car and why didn't she tell me about it?
Ted: Well, maybe it was a work thing.
Marshall: What? No! She has a big fight with me, she goes down to an Easy Pick, she gets into the Captain's Mercedes, and then three hours later she doesn't wanna go to Italy anymore? Wait does this means...?
Barney: That the Captain moored his dinghy into Lily's lagoon? Most definitely.
Ted: That's crazy. You never moor a dinghy into a lagoon.
William: I don't know Ted. In certain tidal conditions if you were in a protected inlet...
Marshall: [Interrupting] Ok, you know what? It doesn't matter. Today's Barney's wedding, let's just forget it.
Barney: Marshall, do you want to go to the Captain's house right now, punch him in the face really fast and then come back and do this wedding?
Marshall: ...Will that be okay?
Barney: Ranjit, get the car.
Ranjit: Getting the car.

Ted: You're Lily, you just had a cigarette in your bosses powder room, where do you put it? Flush it? Throw it out the window?
Marshall: No, she wouldn't do any of those things, she's an environmentalist.
Ted: Put it in your purse?
William: Marshall would find it there.
Ranjit: Throw it in the trash can.
Becky: The Captain would find it there.
The: Hide it in a boat.
Ted: A boat? Why would...?
The: I don't know, I just like boats.
Ted: No, there's only one place she'd put it, where it would eventually decompose and serve as a natural mulch. It's in the daisy!
Ted: And sure enough, if I dig through I am all but guaranteed to...
[reaches into the pot and pulls out...]
Ted: Pregnancy test?
William: You can smoke those?

[giving a toast]
Marshall: To my fiance!
Lily: To the future!
Ranjit: To one hell of a night!

[repeated line]
Ranjit: Pulling over