The Best Shoveler Quotes

[the trio talks about recruiting more heroes for the team]
The: Well, there's The Sphinx, of course.
Mr. Furious: The what?
The: The Sphinx.
The: I know this guy. Big crime-fighter from down South. Big-league hitter down there.
Mr. Furious: What's his power?
The: Well, he's terribly mysterious.
Mr. Furious: [dismissively] That's it? That's his power? He's mysterious?
The: Well, TERRIBLY mysterious.
The: Plus he can, like, cut guns in half with his mind.

The: We've got a blind date with destiny... and it looks like she's ordered the lobster.

Invisible: [after becoming invisible for a moment and reappearing naked] I'm invisible. Can you see me?
The: Yes!
Mr. Furious: Wow.
The: Two hands there, son.
[Invisible Boy covers up]
The: Maybe you should put some shorts on or something, if you want to keep fighting evil today.

[last lines]
[to the news reporters]
The: Excuse me, could I say something? I think we would all like this victory to go out to all the other guys, and I'm talking about the people in this city who are super good at their jobs but never get any credit. Like the lady in the DMV - that's a rough job.
Invisible: To the people that remember jingles from tons of old commercials.
The: And uh, uh, people that support local music and seek out independent film.
The: And the guy that drives the snow-plow. And the school nurse, that's a...
Mr. Furious: Eddie, Eddie, I think they got the point.
Becky: What's the name of this group?
Invisible: The Super Dudes!
The: No, no, no, not the Super Dudes.
Mr. Furious: We're not the Super Dudes. We don't have a name yet, but we're definitely not the Super Dudes.
The: I gotta get home, it's late...
[a photojournalist approaches]
The: Picture, picture time!
Becky: Well, whatever you call them, Champion City will forever owe a debt of gratitude to these mystery men.
The: Wait! Wait, that's it!... We are the Super Squad.
The: No, no! Alliteration in these situations is corny... What?
[She opens her bag, where Carmine sits smouldering]
The: Yes, we're all very aware that you saved the day, and I'm sure we'll be hearing about it for the rest of our lives...

The: Come on, somebody do something, we need him.
The: Okay. Okay, let's do this. You're a very furious man, do you understand that?
Mr. Furious: No.
The: No? Well you've got a lot to be furious about, and I'll tell you why: You're not well-liked. You're uh, you're abrasive and off-putting. You try and say pithy things, but your wit is a hindrance and so, therefore nothing is provocative. Just mixed metaphors. Now, doesn't that make you angry? Does it infuriate you?
Mr. Furious: No.
The: Well, it should. Aren't you angry? Come on, man!
The: Your penmanship is atrocious!
The: You dress in the manner of a male prostitute!

[Mr Furious recommends a publicist for him and his friends]
The: What are we gonna publicise, Roy? The fact that we get our butts kicked, a lot?
Mr. Furious: Well, maybe if you didn't smack me in the face with a shovel every time we went out, we'd have a few more victories to brag about.
The: All right now, I'm sorry about that. I just have a tendency to lose my concentration when I've got a salad fork stuck in my rear end.
The: Oh, oh I get it, so YOUR shovel in HIS face is MY fault?
The: You threw a spoon at the guy, Jeff!
Mr. Furious: Yeah, what was up with that?
The: I, I, I am embarrassed about that. I thought it was a fork.
The: You're the master of cutlery. You couldn't throw a knife sometimes when someone's trying to kill me?
The: No, I can't! You couldn't, uh, use a rake sometimes?
The: No. I'm the Shoveler.
The: Well, I'm the Blue Raja. I'm not Stab Man, I'm not Knifey Boy - I'm the Blue Raja.
Mr. Furious: Yeah, that's another thing...
The: What?
Mr. Furious: Well, you could work a little blue into the uniform somewhere. I mean you've got green, you've got this little flowery thing going on, but it's like everything BUT blue.
The: Well, if we could just step out of our literal minds, just for a moment...

The: [after leaving the bar] The Shoveller is hammered!

The: Captain, I'm just going to ask you directly. Do you know billionaire Lance Hunt?
Capt. Amazing: [whispers] It's me.
[the Shoveller looks surprised, and Capt. Amazing laughs]
Capt. Amazing: Naw, I'm kidding with you, I've always wanted to do that.

The: If we had a billionaire like Lance Hunt as our benefactor... yeah, we could spend a hundred and fifty.
Mr. Furious: That's because Lance Hunt IS Captain Amazing!
The: Oh, here we go...
The: Don't start that AGAIN. Lance Hunt wears glasses. Captain Amazing DOESN'T wear glasses.
Mr. Furious: He takes them off when he transforms...
The: That doesn't make any sense. He wouldn't be able to see!

[the Mystery Men have accidentally killed Capt. Amazing]
The: Oh my god. Oh my god, we killed him.
[the Shoveller is standing on the other side of the room]
The: What do you mean *we*? I was standing right here.

The: Watch it, Spleen, you're going to kill someone with that thing!
Dr. Heller: Oh, no, no, no. All these weapons are completely non-lethal.
The: Wow. How wonderfully eccentric while simultaneously being a complete waste of our time. Good day, sir. I say good day.

[Mr. Furious, the Blue Raja, and the Shoveller are sneaking across Frankenstein's property to undertake some reconnaissance]
Mr. Furious: Shh! Wait! Hear that? We must have hit a trip-wire. It could be a proton eviscerator heating up.
The: It could be a cybernetic atom scrambler. They target moving objects.
The: It sounds more like a heat-seeking anthrax projection gun to me. Quickly, cover your mouths.
Mr. Furious: No, let's bolt! Come on!
The: No! Don't move.
The: Don't breathe!
Mr. Furious: Let's bolt!
The: Don't move!
The: Don't breathe!
Mr. Furious: Let's bolt!
The: Don't move!
[a sprinkler system turns on and the three are soaked]
The: [disgustedly] Ohh, it's the sprinkler.

The: We're not your classic heroes. We're the other guys.

The: All right, I'll take point, you two flank. Let's triangulate.
The: Equilateral or isosceles?

The: Lucille, God gave me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well.
Lucille: Honey, you shovel better than any man I've ever known, but that does not make you a superhero.
[the Shoveller starts to say something, but Lucille cuts him off]
Lucille: No, listen to me. You're a good husband, and a good father. But that's all. Nothing more.
[she walks off, a small boy hugs the Shoveller's leg]
Roland,: I believe in you, Daddy!
Lucille: [calling] Roland, do NOT encourage your father!

The: This is egg salad. It's loaded with cholesterol, the wife won't even let me touch it. It hardly seems to matter now 'cause, chances are, we're already dead. Amazing is gone, there's no use waiting for the cavalry, because as of this moment, the cavalry is *us*!

Mr. Furious: Hey, I was wondering... have you seen my address book?
The: What did it look like?
Mr. Furious: Uh, it's denim. Says 'hang loose' on it. Picture of a kitten.