The Best Terrence Quotes

Terrence: You're dead, Carl. You say no to life, and therefore you're not living. You make up excuses to the people around you and to yourself. You're stuck in the same dead-end job, you have been for years. You don't have a girlfriend, you don't have anything close to a girlfriend and you lost the love of your life because she couldn't be with someone who didn't live theirs. And on most nights you're so bored and filled with ennui, you can't even summon the enthusiasm necessary to masturbate. Am I right, Carl?

[last lines]
Terrence: YES! Say it a million times. Then say it a million more. And the word you will have said two million times is...
[looks around and sees everyone at the seminar is naked]
Terrence: Oh, my God.
Yes: [while covering themselves up as best they can] YES!

Terrence: [narrating his audiobook] Chapter 26: Words That Rhyme With Yes. Guess. Mess. Tess. That's a name. Less. A word *and* a name.

Terrence: You can't audit life, my friend.

[at the seminar, Carl is asked to come on stage but he refuses]
Terrence: If the molehill won't come to Terrence...
[he slips off his shoes, jumps off the stage and sprints down the aisle towards Carl]
Terrence: Terrence will come to the molehill!