Top 20 Quotes From Carl

Allison: Are you stalking me?
Carl: No, I would never do that. Oh, by the way, the new furniture looks great from the yard.

Carl: I am gone-o-reha. That didn't sound right.

Norman: You called me Norm!
Carl: Yeah.
Norman: Could that like be my nickname?
Carl: Yeah, I guess.
Norman: Ah nice, I like your style, Car. That could be yours.
Carl: Yeah, Carl's pretty short already but...

Carl: Was I chewing gum before?

Wes: At first I thought you might be raiding our coffers.
Carl: I would never do that!
Wes: I would if I could so why wouldn't you?
[uncomfortable silence]
Wes: [Wes laughs like it was a joke]

Carl: [while watching Saw on DVD] Oh come on, you're halfway through, just snap it off already!

[first lines]
Carl: [refusing incoming cell phone call] No.
Carl: [refusing another incoming call] No means no.

Carl: [talking to himself, walking back to town] Why don't you take a late night stroll through the hills and get killed by the Manson family? Don't mind if I do!

Carl: I can't believe I tripped like that.

Carl: [incredibly drunk, after losing a bar brawl, said very sadly] She's never gonna go to a ball.

Allison: [riding on a motor scooter] Am I going too fast for you?
Carl: Nah. In fact, I think you should go faster. That way if we crash, at least I'll die. I just don't wanna be kept alive artificially.

Carl: [drunk] Hey... I'm just saying 'yes' to life... 'cause... you gotta say 'yes' to life... I'm in a secret covenant... That sounded naughty!

Nick: Psh, fine! I wipe my ass with fine!
Carl: ...Wow. Um. Ok?

Carl: Steph...! I can't... I'm so sorry.
Stephanie: What are you saying?
Carl: ...I'm saying "no."

Carl: The era of "yes" has begun.

Carl: Hey, Carl... you wanna give your money away to some homeless guy? Yes, yes I do. How 'bout letting him use up the phone battery so that you can't get help when your car runs out of gas? You know what? That sounds like a fuckin' great idea!

Carl: You ever had a Red Bull? Ive never had a Red Bull before, but I had a Red Bull last night - I really like Red Bull.
[shakes his glow-in-the-dark hoop]
Carl: ... got this new... glow in the dark thing... cant really see it right now, unless you go like this...
[holds part of the hoop to his eyes and covers it with his hands]

Carl: What I have to share is huge... and I want to share it with you.

Tweed: Can you explain why you were at the airport buying a ticket with no luggage?
Carl: You know it was a spur-of-the-moment trip.
Tweed: Yeah I was just explaining to my partner here how much I've always wanted to see Lincoln, Nebraska.

Carl: Yes!