The Best The Umbrella Academy, Season 2, Episode 5 Quotes

- Why are we here?
- You were always a climber, darling.

- Attagirl.
Allison: I've got a blender and some much better booze.
- So, ifwe're gonna start day-drinking, we should do it right.
[Whimpers] I love you so much.
- Yeah. Yeah!
- Oh!

- You know yesterday when you were talking about us running away?
- What if we could?
Sissy: Where would we go?
- Somewhere safe for Harlan and...
- Where we could be together like this all the time.
- I'd go there right now.

Klaus: Le petit mort, le petit mort.
Allison: What? You don't speak French.
Klaus: It's "the little death."
Klaus: Oh, wow. Look at this old stuff.
- Oh, wow.
- I know this is impossible, but...
- Did we all get sexier?

- Six days.
- We've got six days.
- Six days until what?
- I can't explain, okay?
- Just, we need to go now, please.
[Sissy whispers] Vanya.
Vanya: Please, come. Please...
- Vanya. Vanya. Vanya!
- I can't.

[man] Everything is a-okay in the cockpit.
- -♪ starting to collect ♪
- -[Bell dings]
- -♪ what will it affect... ♪
- -[Console beeps]
- He's going to hand-control movement now.
- -♪ earth below us, drifting, falling ♪
- -[Nervous chittering]
- -♪ floating weightless ♪
- -[Shrieking]

- The hell's going on with you?
- I'm just sick and tired of you not listening!
Carl: Well, I'm sick and tired of having to fight for your goddamn attention.
- Are you my wife or not?
Carl: What in the hell was that?

- Diego, I... I...
- We shouldn't...
- You know what?
- I'm used to dealing with liars, Lila, but I like it better when I know what they're lying about.
- Oh, come on, Diego. Really?
- You're just gonna walk away?
- Diego.

- She fights like every one of you commission drones.
[Handler] Hmm.
- No matter, here we are.
- Together again.
- I've gotta ask...
- Did you miss me, you little shit?

- ♪ whoo ♪ [echoing]
- ♪ hey... ♪ [echoing]
- What's your game, crazy lady?
- Who cares? You said if you saw me again, you'd kill me.
- Oh, I remember.
- Well, come on, big talker.
- Let's get this done.
- All right.

- I missed you.
- Thank god someone did. [Chuckles softly]

- Hadan, honey?
- Let's get your shoes on. Come on.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- Just spending the day with my family.

Vanya: Luther!
- Come back.
Klaus: Where you going?
Luther: Save it, Diego.
- No one leaves until we figure this out.
- Jeez_.
- When did the monkey learn how to fight dirty?
- Son of a bitch.

- What happened to that beer, girl? Oh, shit.
- You caught me naked as a jaybird.
- I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.
- That's all right.
- You're part of the family.
- Don't you dawdle, now.

Lila: I'm waiting.
- -♪ I'm the bad guy♪
- -[Lila laughs]
- Fed up yet, five?

Klaus: The only thing that the Umbrella Academy knows about love is how to screw it up.

Klaus: Come here, Vanya.
- Come on.
- Get over here.
Klaus: I love you guys.
[Gasps] Oh! You guys!
- I love this song!

Klaus: I just hate group break-ups. It's why I stopped dating twins.

Vanya: How do you guys deal with this?
Klaus: What?
Vanya: I mean, all of it. The time travel, seeing the dead, the end of the world.
Klaus: Well, I get really high.

Klaus: Who in this room knows shit about relationships? This one?
[Looks at Vanya]
Klaus: In secret love with some farm Frau.
Vanya: Her name's Sissy.
Klaus: ...Which is an improvement on her previous love interest, the serial killer.
Vanya: *What?*
Allison: Later.
Klaus: [Continues] Meanwhile, I'm carrying a torch for a soldier I haven't technically met yet, and Luther is in love with his sister.
Allison: Okay, again, we are not biological.
Klaus: Face it, the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin.

Vanya: Now's the only time. 'Cause how much time do we have left? We could have years, we could have days, but we only have one life. And we gotta go with our hearts.

- I don't know, and I don't care.
- Yeah, you do.
- Oh, my god.
- I think we've earned a day off.
- Okay, half a day. A few hours.
- Hush up.

- Are you kidding me?
[Five] All right, then.
- Let's get down to business.
Klaus: So, vanny, what's new?
- Hey, Diego.
- Can't say hi to nobody?
- Hi, Allison.
- What was that?
- Hi, Allison!
- Thank you!

[In English] "Sing in me, muse, and through me tell the story of that man skilled in all ways of contending, the wanderer, harried for years on end..."
- Reggie, he's sleepin'.
- Then I suppose homer will have to wait.

- Hey, um, I'm seven cents short.
- Uh... give me what you got.
- Damn it.
- Sorry about that.
- Thanks.
- That boy stinks.

- You know, you are so goddamn big, sometimes I forget what a sensitive bastard you are.
- It's all gonna work out.
- We're on the right path.
- Oh, yeah? How do you know?
- There's a long, black car that's been following us since we left Elliott's.
- Six o'clock.

- It's okay, little fella.
- No one's gonna hurt ya.

- Vanya.
- I can't believe I have a sister.

Sissy: Vanya.
[Panting] Vanya, wait!

- You know too much.
- And you fight like you know what you're doing.
- He's got a point.
- So I know how to handle myself, and that makes me the bad guy?
- Whoever you are, you're in my way.
- If I see you again, I will kill you.

- Nine, eight, seven, six... five, four, three, two, one. lgnition... [continues indistinctly]
- -♪ floating weightless ♪
- -[Shrieking]
- -♪ calling, calling home ♪
- -[Soft hooting]
[Man] Cabin pressure holding, 5.5.