The Best Billy Pratt Quotes

[Dean & Billy see Joanna's mugshot on TV]
Dean: That's her
Billy: Who?
Dean: THE BITCH!
Billy: [Seeing Grant leaving the hospital on TV] I can't believe he's skipping out on her
Dean: Of course he's skipping out on her, it's his shot at freedom.
Billy: Maybe you should go down to the hospital and see if you can get some of your money back?
Dean: Look, he's gone.
Billy: Not him, her.
Dean: She doesn't even know who she is, you think she's gonna know who I am?
[Dean turns around to walk away only to turn right back when he thinks of an idea]
Dean: Billy, there is a God and he loves me!
Billy: You're not gonna shave your head, are you?
Dean: No, i gotta go home and talk to my kids...
Billy: [interrupts] Dean, don't do this
Dean: ...and I want you to take them shopping at the Salvation Army!
Billy: Dean, it's illegal... Dean you're crazy, you know that!

Billy: Annie, those are my underwear.
Annie: Yours?
Billy: I don't mean I wear 'em or anything. They belong to a girlfriend of mine.
Annie: But what about Gertie?
Billy: I strayed. See, I got lucky with this phone sex girl and I found one that takes personal checks; my truck doesn't have a backseat so I borrowed yours. Dean doesn't want you to tell Gertie so he's covering for me.
Dean: [comes up to them] What's going on?
Billy: I confess. The jig is up!
Dean: The jig IS up, Billy, I'm finally trying to tell her the truth.
Billy: I just did. See, I didn't get the name Bad Billy Pratt for nothing. I'm sorry, Annie, I got horny, do you hate me?
Annie: [smiles] No, no
[hugs him]
Annie: I'm glad you're Bad Billy Pratt!