Top 100 Quotes From Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

- Excuse me. Where's the lobby?
- -Down the hall and to the left.
- -Thanks.

Kate: [counting passports] 11, 12, 13... Where's Kevin?
Kevin: [appears in front seat and takes the last passport] Fourteen. It's a good thing I have my own ticket, just in case you guys try to ditch me.

- -What's the matter?
- -Thought I saw something.
- Serves you right. Come on, let's go!
- I think she likes me.

- Wow! I never knew that.
- I thought they were just part of a song.
- They are, and for that very special reason.
- Wow! Thanks.
- -Merry Christmas.
- -Merry Christmas to you, too.
- Be sure to bundle up if you go outside.
- It's a little nippy.
- Thank you, I'll do that.

- Excuse me. I'm looking for my son.
- He's this boy right here.
- Excuse me. Please help me.
- This boy right here. Have you seen him?
- This one, he's... Please.

Marv: [seizes a brick] SUCK BRICK KID!
[throws down to Kevin]

- Well, where to?
- Well, you promised you'd take me to the Central Park Zoo.
- Hey! Look who it is, Marv.
- Come on. Let's get him.
- Hey!
- Hiya, pal.

[Harry and Marv have arrived in New York by stowing away in a fish truck]
Harry: Here we are, Marv. New York City. The land of opportunity.
[sniffs]
Harry: Smell that?
Marv: [sniffs] Yeah.
Harry: Know what that is?
Marv: Fish.
Harry: It's freedom.
Marv: No, it's fish.
Harry: It's freedom, and it's money.
Marv: Okay, okay, it's freedom.
Harry: Come on, let's get out of here before somebody sees us.
Marv: And it's fish.

- Hello? Uncle Rob! Aunt Georgette!
- Anybody home?
- Hello! Anybody home?
- It's me, your favorite nephew, Kevin!
- Uncle Rob! Aunt Georgette!

Harry: [while Harry and Marv are robbing Duncan's Toy Chest, Kevin takes their picture] He took our picture!
Marv: How'd my hair look?

- I got something for you.
- -What's this?
- -It's a turtledove. I have one. You have one.
- As long as we each have a turtledove, we'll be friends forever.
- Oh, Kevin.
- Thank you.
- I won't forget you. Trust me.

Kevin: Excuse me, but this is an emergency. What city is it out there?
NY: It's New York, sir.
Kevin: [Gasps] Yikes, I did it again.
NY: Something's wrong, sir?
Kevin: [in shocked whisper] I'll be fine...

- Maybe I'm off my hinges, but I believe you.
- That's why I'm gonna let you go.
- I'm going to give you to the count of three to get your lousy, lying, lowdown, four-flushing carcass out my door!
- -One...
- -Open up the door! two,

Marv: Let's kill!
Harry: Hold on, peabrain. We got busted last time because we underestimated that little bundle of misery.
Marv: This ain't like the last time. This ain't his house. The kid's running scared. He ain't got a plan.
Harry: May I do the thinking, please?

Kevin: I'm sorry, you wanted a tip.
Cedrick the Bellman: That won't be necessary, sir. I still have some...
[Shows Kevin a piece of chewed gum]
Cedrick the Bellman: tip left over.
Kevin: [takes out a bundle of cash] No tip? Okay.
[Kevin closes the door as Cedric repeatedly begs him not to close it]
Cedrick the Bellman: Uh, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait...

- three!
- Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.
- And a happy New Year.
- Stay in your rooms! This is an emergency!
- There's an insane guest with a gun!

- You little...
- I've committed credit card fraud.
- Get me security!
- We've got to stop that delinquent!
- Come along, Cedric.

Harry: [opens the cash register and steals money from it] Merry Christmas, Harry.
Marv: [opens the money chest and steals money from it, too] Happy Hanukkah, Marv.

Gangster: Maybe I'm off my hinges, but I believe ya. That's why I'm gonna let ya go. I'm gonna give you to the count of three to get your lousy, lyin', low-down, four-flushing carcass OUT my door! 1... 2...
[Fires Tommy gun, killing girl gangster, and laughing insanely]
Gangster: 3. Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.
[fires repeatedly again]
Gangster: And a Happy New Year.
[Fires one last shot]

- Harry? You wearing aftershave?
- That's not aftershave. That's kerosene.
- The rope is soaked in it.
- Now, why would anybody soak a rope in kerosene?
- Merry Christmas.
- Go up!

Gangster: [on a video playing on a TV in another room] You was here last night too, wasn't ya?
Concierge: [unaware he's listening to a video] Yes, sir. I was.
Gangster: You was here, and you was smoochin' with my brother!
Concierge: [scoffs and looks embarrassed] I'm afraid you're mistaken, sir.
Gangster: Don't gimme that! You've been smoochin' with everybody! Snuffy, Al, Leo, Little Moe with the gimpy leg, Cheeks, Boney Bob, Cliff.
[one of the other staff members happens to be called Cliff, it says so on his name badge. He gasps and the others look at him, shocked]
Cliff: It's a lie!
Gangster: I could go on forever, baby!

- Let's see what the police have to say about this.
- Get up! Get up!
- Come on! Let's go get him!
- Get back here, you little thief!
- Stop that child!
- Grab him!

- Guests of the new
- Celebrity Ding Dang Dong stay at the world-renowned Plaza Hotel,
- New York's most exciting hotel experience.
- For reservations, call toll-free 1-800-759...
- Honey, do you know where the batteries for this camcorder are?
- Yeah, I put it in the charger.

- Two for $5, two for $5. Four for 10.
- -All right, kiddo.
- -There he is!
- All right, kiddo!
- -Thanks.
- -Merry Christmas.
- -Hey, hey!
- -Whoa!
- Excuse me!

- Taxi!
- Times Square.

- and we hightail it to some foreign country.
- Arizona?
- That's very smart, Marv. You bust out of jail to rob 14 cents from a Santa Claus?
- Every little bit helps.
- Besides, now we got our new nickname.
- We're the Sticky Bandits.
- Real cute. Very cute.

Officer: [talking to Peter McCallister, and finding out that Kevin has the credit cards] We'll notify the credit card companies immediately. If you son has the cards, we can get the location on him, *when* and if he uses them.
Kate: No, I don't think Kevin even knows how to use a credit card.
[at the Plaza Hotel, Mrs. Stone puts the credit card into payment]
Kevin: [watching and whispering in bewilderment] Wow, it worked.

- Okay. Come on.
- Do you see your family?
- -There's my dad over there.
- -Okay. Well, go find an empty seat.
- -Have a merry Christmas.
- -You, too.
- Ladies and gentlemen, in order for the captain to push back from the gate, we need all passengers to be seated with their seat belts securely fastened.

Officer: Has the boy ever run away from home?
Peter: No.
Officer: Has he ever been in a situation where's been on his own?
Kate: [Kate shakes her head, but Peter gives her a look] As a matter of fact, this has happened before. It's become sort of a McCallister family travel tradition.
Peter: Funnily enough, we never lose our luggage.
[They both laugh, and knock on the wooden desk]
Kate: [Officer Bennett does not laugh] He was left at home, by accident, last year.
Peter: That's what my wife meant when she said this has become a family travel tradition.

- Give me your hand.
- They can hear it.

- -Is the temperature in the room okay?
- -It's okay.
- -Do you know how the TV works?
- -I'm 10 years old. TV's my life.
- Well...
- I'm sorry.
- And there's plenty more where that came from.
- Thank you.

[in the basement, Marv built a tower out of assorted items]
Harry: Marv, are you sure this is safe?
Marv: Oh yes. I've worked all the kinks out. Solid as a rock.
[They climb up. Seconds later, it all comes crashing down]
Harry: Like a rock, huh, Marv?

- If some guy looked at you in the shower, would you ever want to see him again?
- I suppose not.
- I don't think you'll see him for the rest of our trip.
- I understand.
- Bye.
- Have a lovely day.

- When they see me walkin' down the street
- When the fellas want to speak
- Hey, hey
- On their faces, they wear a silly smirk
- 'Cause they know I'm the king of the cool jerk
- Get out of here, you nosy little pervert, or I'm gonna slap you silly!
- You're cooking, Frankie!

- This is great!
- It's pretty cold out.
- I could sure go for a cup of hot chocolate.
- How about you? My treat.
- I'd hate to spend Christmas Eve in such a park.
- Can we go someplace warm?
- Yes. I know a place.

- Hey!
- Don't you know a kid always wins against two idiots?
- Harry! He's in the living room!
- He went up the ladder!

Peter: Hey Kevin, you better go put your tie on. We don't wanna be late for the Christmas pageant.
Kevin: My tie is in the bathroom and I can't go in because Uncle Frank is taking a shower. He says that if I walked in there and saw him naked, I'd grow up never feeling like a real man.
[Peter and Kate stare]
Kevin: Whatever that means.
Peter: [after a pause, chuckles] I'm sure he was kidding. Just, uh, run in there, get your tie, get out, and don't look at... Anything.

- They must be all over you
- 'cause they like you.
- If I'm bothering you, I can leave.
- Am I bothering you?
- No.
- Good. I'm not a pain in the butt?
- No.
- Will those pigeons come back on their own or do you have to call them?

Harry: You better say every prayer you ever heard, kid.
Marv: I hope your parents got you a tombstone for Christmas!

- Then after that, we grab a couple of phony passports...
- -Marv! Marv, you want to shut up?
- -What's the difference?
- He's not going to talk to anybody except maybe a fish. Or the undertaker.
- Let's just get him to the subway tunnel.
- I'll feel a lot better once we get him on ice.
- I've got a gun in my pocket.
- You open your mouth, and you'll be spitting gum out through your forehead.

Kevin: Hey. You guys give up? Have you had enough pain?
Marv: Nevah!
Harry: [Shakes head at Marv]

Cedrick the Bellman: Do you know how the TV works?
Kevin: I'm 10 years old; TV's my life.

- -Kevin.
- -Give this to Kevin.
- -Give this to Kevin.
- -Give this to Kevin.
- -Give this to Kevin.
- -Here you go, Kevin.
- -Kevin's not here.
- -Kevin's not here.
- What?
- Kevin!

Kate: Why don't you just sit up here for a while and think things over? When you're ready to apologize to Buzz *and* the rest of the family, you can come down.
Kevin: I'm not apologizing to Buzz; I'd rather kiss a toilet seat!
Kate: Then you can stay up here the rest of the night.
Kevin: Fine, I don't wanna be down there, anyway. I can't trust *anybody* in this family. And you know what? If I had my own money, I'd go on my own vacation. *Alone*. Without any of you guys. And I'd have the most fun in my whole life.

[in the basement, looking up at the hole he fell through]
Marv: Wow! What a hole!

- Run, Marv!
- Bye! Thanks.

- -Like a rock, huh, Marv?
- -Hey? Do you guys give up?
- -Have you had enough pain?
- -Never!
- You better say every prayer you ever heard before, kid!
- I hope your parents got you a tombstone for Christmas.
- -Where'd he go?
- -I'm up here and I'm really scared.
- What's that sound?

Gangster: [on a video playing on a TV in another room] All right. I believe ya... but my Tommy gun don't! Get down on your knees and tell me you love me!
Concierge: [to the others] On your knees.
[they get down on their knees. The Concierge is so embarrassed it takes him a few moments to summon up the nerve to say the words]
Concierge: [with all the enthusiasm he can muster] I love you!
[in the other room, Kevin snickers and hits the play button again]
Gangster: You gotta do better than that!
Concierge,15043: [chorusing] I love you!

- No, I don't think we did, but I...
- I just have that feeling.
- Bad memories, that's all.
- We did everything, we brought everything, we have everybody.
- There's nothing to worry about.
- Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
- You're right. We're fine.
- Nothing to worry about.

Kevin: Excuse me, where's the lobby?
Donald: Down the hall and to the left.
Kevin: Thanks.

- Excuse me, but this is an emergency.
- -Yes, sir?
- -What city is that over there?
- -That's New York, sir.
- -Yikes, I did it again.
- Something wrong, sir?
- I'll be fine.

- You got any more?
- Come on, Marv. Get up. He don't have any more bricks. He's out of them.
- What?
- That did it! Nobody throws bricks at me and gets away with it.
- Come on, Marv. Get up.
- You go this way. I'm going round the back.
- Harry?

- That was the sound of a tool chest falling down the stairs.
- Yes!

- How come none of us are sitting together?
- At this time of the year, we're lucky to get on the same plane.
- Eleven, twelve, thirteen...
- Where's Kevin?
- Fourteen.
- It's a good thing I have my own ticket, just in case you guys try to ditch me.

- -Not this kid.
- -Yeah, but this time he doesn't have a house full of dangerous goodies to get us with.
- He's in the Park. He's alone.
- Kids are scared of the Park.
- Yeah. Grown men come in the Park and don't leave alive.
- Yeah.
- Good luck, little fella.

Harry: [hears a loud rumbling] What's that sound?
[a tool chest bursts through the door, pinning them to the wall]
Marv: [congested] That was the sound of a tool chest falling down the stairs.
Harry: Oh.

- Jesus, looks like the 4th of July!
- -Okay, let's go.
- -We'll take the bridge.
- You guys get the tunnel.
- Let's go. Come on!
- Oh, my God!

Mr. E.F. Duncan,: You see that tree there? Well, to show our appreciation for your generosity, I'm gonna let you select an object from that tree that you can take home with you.
Kevin: For free?
Mr. E.F. Duncan,: Oh, yes. Oh, and may I make a suggestion? Take the turtle doves.
Kevin: I can have two?
Mr. E.F. Duncan,: Well, two turtle doves. I'll tell you what you do: you keep one, and you give the other one to a very special person. You see, turtle doves are a symbol of friendship and love. And as long as each of you has your turtle dove, you'll be friends forever.
Kevin: Wow, I never knew that. I thought they were just part of a song.
Mr. E.F. Duncan,: They are. And for that very special reason.

[Marv stands in the doorway of the under re-construction brownhouse, in front of a big hole in the floor]
Marv: Harry, I've reached the top!
[Marv steps forward and falls through the hole to the very bottom of the house, in the basement]

- Good night, Mom.
- Good night, Kevin.

Kevin: Don't you know a kid always wins against two idiots?

[Kevin is watching a video of an old gangster movie]
Gangster: [on TV] You was here last night too, wasn't ya?
Dame: [on TV] I was singing at the Blue Monkey last night.
Kevin: She was not, she was smooching with your brother.
Gangster: You was here. And you was smoochin' with my brother!
Kevin: See?

- Just follow the star in your own heart.
- Okay.
- It's getting pretty late. I'd better get going.
- If I don't see you again,
- I hope everything turns out okay.
- Thank you.
- -Say goodbye to your birds for me.
- -I will.

[climbing down the rope]
Marv: Harry, are you wearing aftershave?
Harry: That's not aftershave, Marv. That's kerosene. The rope is soaked in it.
Marv: Now why would anyone wanna soak a rope in kerosene?
[Kevin lights a match]
Kevin: Merry Christmas.
Harry: Go up!
Marv: Aaaah!

- -Yes!
- -Party time!
- He ran away from the hotel when they questioned him about the card.
- He must be so scared, Peter!
- I wonder if he'd know enough to go to my brother's place?
- -Aren't they in Paris?
- -Maybe they have a house sitter.
- I thought you said they were renovating?

Waiter: Two scoops, sir?
Kevin: Two? Make it three; I'm not driving.

- I'm coming up!
- I'm going to murder that kid!

- -Not now, Kevin. What's the gate number?
- -H1 7, sir.
- -Here you go.
- -Thank you.
- Hey, you better hurry up. It's the last gate.
- -All the way down.
- -Wow.
- -Dad, what gate is it?
- -H1 7, Buzz. Come on, Kevin.
- Kevin, you gonna take my bag?
- You take my bag? Come on. Come on.

- Marv. Crowbars up!
- Merry Christmas, Harry!
- Happy Hanukkah, Marv!
- Oh, this is more money than I can even count!
- It makes you wonder why we spent so much time robbing private homes.

- Fine. I don't wanna be down there anyway.
- I can't trust anybody in this family.
- And d'you know what?
- If I had my own money,
- I'd go on my own vacation, alone, without any of you guys.
- And I'd have the most fun in my whole life.
- Well, you got your wish last year.
- Maybe you'll get it again this year.
- I hope so.

[Kevin walks in on Frank singing in the shower and Frank sees him]
Uncle: Get outta here, you nosey little pervert, or I'm gonna slap you silly!
[Kevin runs away and Frank continues singing]
Uncle: Ohhh, you're cooookin', Frankie!

- A wreath on the door
- And my merriest Christmas
- Stop it!
- Needs just one thing more
- Christmas tree, my Christmas tree
- Lit up like...

- Let's get him!
- He busted me right in my mouth, Marv!
- That's one.
- Don't worry, Harry. I'll get him.
- Right in the schnoz.
- That's two. Come on, let's get him.

- Merry Christmas, sweetheart.
- Thank you. Let's go.
- How'd you know I was here?
- Well, I know you and Christmas trees, and this is the biggest one around.
- -Where's everybody else?
- -They're at the hotel.
- They didn't like palm trees either.

- that nobody's going to think to rob?
- Candy stores.
- Nine-year-olds rob candy stores, Marv.
- This is what I had in mind.
- That's brilliant, Harry. Brilliant!
- Yep. There's nobody dumb enough to knock off a toy store on Christmas Eve.
- Yes, there is.

- -Merry Christmas, Kev.
- -Merry Christmas, Buzz.
- -Merry Christmas, Kevin.
- -Okay, Kevin! All right! Merry Christmas!
- Enough of this gooey... Show of emotion.
- Everyone, let's dig in!
- All right!
- Everybody, now, wait, save the paper.
- We can use it next year. And the bows.
- Give me the bows...

- "The Plaza Hotel, New York's most exciting hotel experience."
- Sick.

- All the money in the cash registers,
- Mr. Duncan is going to donate to the Children's Hospital.
- At midnight tonight, we're hitting Duncan's Toy Chest.
- You can mess with a lot of things, but you can't mess with kids on Christmas.

- Has the boy ever run away from home?
- -No.
- -No.
- Has he ever been in a situation where he's been on his own?
- As a matter of fact, this has happened before.
- It's becoming sort of a McCallister family travel tradition.
- Funnily enough, we never lose our luggage.

- Yes!
- -Thank you for your suggestion.
- -My duty, my pleasure.
- Bye now.

- Yes!
- Whoa.
- Whoa, whoa!

Brooke: [passing Kevin's bag back down the line] Kevin's not here.
Jeff: Kevin's not here.
Megan: Kevin's not here.
Sondra: Kevin's not here.
Rod: Kevin's not here.
Linnie: Kevin's not here.
Tracy: Kevin's not here.
Aunt: Kevin's not here.
Kate: Kevin's not here.
Peter: WHAT?
Kate: [laughing, then surprised] KEVIN!
[faints]

- Oh, Kevin.
- Mom, I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, too.

Kevin: You can mess with a lot of things, but you can't mess with kids on Christmas.

- -Merry Christmas.
- -Merry Christmas.
- If you need somebody to trust, it can be me.
- I won't forget to remember you.
- Don't make promises you can't keep.

Buzz: Okay, everybody, calm down! Calm down! Hey, hey! All right, now, if Kevin hadn't have screwed up in the first place again... Then we wouldn't be in this most perfect and huge hotel room with a truck load of all this free stuff. So I think it only fair that Kevin get to open up the first present. And then I'll go, and the rest of you, and so on.
[Tosses a package to Kevin]
Buzz: Merry Christmas, Kevin.
Kevin: Thanks, Buzz.
Peter: [the entire family applauds] Merry Christmas, Kevin.
Uncle: Okaaay, Kevin! All right, Merry Christmas!
Buzz: Okay, enough of this gooey sh... Show of emotion. All right, everyone, let's dig in!

Mr. Hector,: I do hope your father understands that last night I was simply checking the room to make sure everything was in order.
Kevin: Well he was pretty mad.
Mr. Hector,: He was?
Kevin: He said he didn't come all the way to New York to get his naked rear end spied on.

- Didn't look this bad on our honeymoon.
- Hey! Uncle Rob lives here.
- If they're back from Paris,
- I'll drop in on them.
- They usually give pretty good presents.

Kevin: Oh no. My family's in Florida, and I'm in New York...
[Gleefully]
Kevin: My family's in Florida... I'm in... New York?

Aunt: [At the airport, awaiting luggage] Give this to Kevin.
Tracy: Give this to Kevin.
Linnie: Kevin.
Buzz: Give this to Kevin.
Rod: Give this to Kevin.
Sondra: Give this to Kevin.
Megan: Give this to Kevin.
Jeff: Give this to Kevin.
Brooke: Give this to Kevin.
Fuller: Here you go, Kevin.
[startled when he sees an elderly couple, then hands bag back]

- Where did all you guys come from?
- I don't know if I have enough for everybody.
- How hungry are you guys?
- You guys ate all my food.

Concierge: And how are we this morning?
Kevin: Fine. Is my transportation here?
Concierge: Out in front, sir. A limousine and a... pi-zza! Compliments of the Plaza Hotel.

- Get the bag!
- Hello, the two guys who robbed
- Duncan's Toy Chest are in the park.
- Central Park West, 95th Street.
- Look for fireworks. Hurry, they got a gun.
- Hey, I'm down here. Better come and get me before I call the cops.

Harry: Sonny!
Kevin: Yes?
Harry: Nothing would thrill me more greatly than to shoot you. Knocking off a youngster ain't gonna mean all that much to me. Okay? But since we're in a hurry, I'll made a deal with you: you throw down your camera and we won't hurt you. You'll never hear from us again. Okay?
Kevin: You promise?
Harry: I cross my heart and hope to die.

Harry: I don't care if they give me the chair, I'm going to kill that kid!

- Here we are, sir, Duncan's Toy Chest.
- Merry Christmas, Kevin.

- McCallister.
- -Morning, Mr. McCallister.
- -Good morning.
- Mr. McCallister, here's your very own cheese pizza.

Mrs. Stone,: I'm confused.
Kevin: I'm traveling with my dad. He's at a meeting. I hate meetings. Plus I'm not allowed to go in. I can only sit in the lobby. That's boring. So he dropped me off here. He gave me his credit card and told me to give this to whoever was welcoming people in so I won't get into mischief. And ma'am, sometimes I do get into mischief. We all do!

- I never made it to the 6th grade, kid, and it doesn't look like you're going to, either.
- Let him go!
- Kevin, run!
- Shoot her! Shoot her! Shoot her!
- I'm trying to shoot her!

- He was left at home by accident last year.
- Yeah, that's what my wife meant when she said it's becoming a McCallister family travel tradition.
- We'll call Chicago and notify them of the situation.
- -The odds are that's where he is.
- -Thanks.
- It's very unlikely he'd be anywhere else.