The Best Carole Hudson Quotes

Carole: Finn, what's going on?
[he awkwardly sits up]
Carole: What are you doing?
Finn: Uh, nothing.
Carole: Were you just singing to a sonogram?
Finn: Uh-huh.
Carole: Is Quinn pregnant?

Burt: I'm not really known for having a way with words. Uh... you know, when you're a kid, adults will tell you a lot of things. But one thing they neglect to mention is how... sad life can be. I lost somebody I loved very much. But Kurt, he lost his mom. And that killed me. Well, we got by, but looking back? I... I want to apologize to you, Kurt. What we were living, just... wasn't living. You know that saying that when, uh, God closes a door, he opens a window? Well, sometimes out of nowhere, he'll do you one better and he'll kick a whole wall down. He grabbed me by the shoulders, and he pointed me towards this woman right here. And he said "There she is. Go get her." You're everything, Carole. Words can't describe you. You're everything. And I will love you 'till the day I die.
Carole: Oh, hey... I'm lucky. Most women, when they get married, they get one man. I get two. One of you saved me from my wardrobe, the other one just saved me. Kurt, you are an amazing person. I'm not only getting a son, I'm getting a friend. Finn... I know you were resistant at first, but I am so proud of you. I've watched you grow into a man. But I think I'm most proud that you've become a brother to Kurt. We are four people. Becoming a family.

Finn: What the hell's going on with our parents? How did this happen? When did they even meet each other?
Kurt: Parent-teacher conference night, about a month ago.
[flashback, with Kurt narrating in voiceover]
Kurt: I always accompany my father to those conferences, to act as translator.
Burt: How do you know this is not organic?
Kurt: Because you can see the logo. It's encrusted in the cookie.
Kurt: [v.o] Fate brought them together.
Kurt: [leading Burt over to Carole as she enters] Dad, meet Carole Hudson. Ms. Hudson, my father, Burt Hummel. You both have dead spouses. Maybe you should talk.
Burt: You know, I was just saying to a friend that acid wash is making a comeback.
Carole: Mm. Really. And who said it ever left?
Kurt: [v.o] It was an instant connection.
Finn: [return to real time] That's impossible.
Kurt: When will you learn that nothing is impossible when it comes to love? Haven't you noticed anything different about your mom? New clothes, new makeup, a haircut that doesn't look like it was styled by the Amish? Who do you think "Pretty Woman"ed her up? Has she started selling the furniture yet?
Finn: Yeah, yeah, she just got rid of her old bedroom set. And she tried to sell my dad's chair, but I stopped her. How do you even know that?
Kurt: People our parents' age don't wait around for love to bloom. They know what they want. I guess you and I will be roommates, with mom and dad cohabitating upstairs by midterms.
Finn: No way.
Kurt: Give in to the inevitable, Finn. I want us to decide how to redecorate our room together. That's why I asked you about the swatches. And don't sweat that old chair. I have a lovely chaise picked out.
Finn: Look... look... screw your... your swatches and your... your "chez".
Kurt: Chaise.
Finn: Whatever, okay? Look, I... I like my house. I'm not moving in, and she's not selling that... that damn chair.

Carole: This is absolutely unacceptable.
Burt: This psycho threatens my kid's life, and some school board made up of a bunch of people I've never met tells me there's nothing they can do about it?
Sue: Oh, they could do something about it. They just decided not to. No one reported witnessing him being violent, and there's no way to prove that he threatened you with violence. The school board president issued a verbal warning to Karofsky, and that's where we stand.
Kurt: I can't go back to being terrified all the time. I mean, I jump every time a locker slams shut. I... I flinch whenever I turn the corner. I don't feel safe at the school.
Sue: Kids who bully, for the most part, have been bullied themselves. And I for one don't flatter myself that that behavior can change. Now, this kid Karofsky isn't gonna all of a sudden be nice to you, and I won't stand by unable to do anything about it. Effective noon tomorrow, Figgins is back in charge, as I have tendered my resignation as principal in protest. I can't help you behind that desk, but I can be an extra pair of eyes out in those hallways. Someone ought to have your back. Besides, I miss my office. This room smells weird. I can't shake the feeling that I'm inhaling a lot of dead skin.

Finn: Mom, Quinn's parents threw her out. Could she stay here for a couple of days?
Carole: Yeah, of course she can. Honey, you can stay here as long as you want.